FAILED MY FIRST ESSAY AT UNI

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Juilliard School, Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts, Manhattan ​suddenly aware that the room was filled with pale sunlight bigger Thomas's internal flame is reignited upon his waking in the brightness he's harshly reminded of the horrors of the preceding night as the yellow glare illuminates his inescapable life and fate which simply existed this cruel light pulls him out of his stupor as fantasy of peace and into the blunt and devastating reality that he has created for himself a fire now burns within him as if last night he had picked up a piece of the red-hot furnace and embedded it within himself this fire and the light calls him to action like the alarm clock that it parallels from the first book it acts as one of the many enlightening moments for bigger he feels an illusion of understanding after his murder of Mary Dalton masking his shame and guilt around his family with an air of confidence and intellectual philosophical superiority he acts as though everyone else is blind to their isolation meaninglessness blind to the hole in which african-americans have found themselves disagreeing for the first time with his previous views of naturalism acting as though individuals actually have choices in regards to their actions he treats others with a mystifying sense of pity that he self-righteously feels towards them representing rights analysis of blindness to harsh reality in the sense that those oppressed encompass a certain stillness in the face of their hostile environment furthermore Biggers internal revelation that buddy and vera are blind further accentuates this point while supplementally characterizing bigger as an imperceptible as he wanted to wave his hand and blot them out specifically Biggers encounter with vera at the beginning of book 2 truly represents how bigger zid often takes over his entire body riddling himself with the sexual desire and primitive instincts screaming a blood-curdling cry vera reminds bigger that she ain't no dog and pleads to make him stop looking at her brown legs leading up to her juvenile dress as his Freudian it takes over him like a blanket of guilt however this rule his relations with buddy is less primitive and more instinctual love as overwhelming guilt fills his body for his literal buddy running outside and softly questioning his brother's fate bigger could only muster a frightened whisper in return for he knew his debt to buddy and he understood how his relationship with this boy will haunt him for the rest of his life if it should fall to shambles he gazed at buddy in long silence questioning his next move would he jeopardize buddy's innocence and revealed to him the horror of his murder no instead bigger demonstrated true love and responsibility for his buddy as he peeled off a bill and told him to take it and buy something for in all trueness bigger believes that he will never be a sufficient role model or caretaker for them and so to avoid failure he simply abandons them as a big brother virtually becoming useless to the family he would rather take the full force of his mother's anger than even attempt to be the role model that he believes he could never fit book 2 has a magnitude of symbolic objects all specific and deeper meanings riddled behind them however two of those influential and prevalent symbols are alcohol and the money bigger stole from Mary's purse the night of the murder with eyes red from sleep and alcohol Biggers life is catalyzed in every aspect when he allows for the cool sting of alcohol to touch his partially open lips his choices change his attitude flourishes into primitive male patriarchy is and his eyes are open with the false sense of reality and the power that coincides with alcohol the power that devours his soul into a corrupt sex driven and malicious man blinded by his own faith however the money he had gotten from Mary's purse also translates the sense of perceived power in the white world as bigger classifies poor white folk as stupid by this logic the money that he now has should help him become more successful and make him an equal to his in reality it only acts as a false sense of security however transitioning into Betty to her alcohol acts as a vehicle to suppress her feelings and emotion feeling the warmth of alcohol spreading through her veins Bessie lives and dies in the bottle she holds yes Bessie was blind to the world outside her bottle it was only an Excalibur love comfort and security and truly to her money is just a way for her to buy more alcohol in a way for her to buy back the comfort oppression took from her that is why bigger gave her the money for he knew why she liked him he gave her money for drinks moreover we can see also Bessie and Biggers relationships transcended into the feminist lens and that they are required to act as though their physical state of sex can be seen at all times Bessie must be weepy and submissive when she is has alcohol bigger must be manly and internalized all of his emotions even with bigger he thinks that what the alcohol a black man can have a chance that we all know that it's just the alcohol talking not him although both of them depend upon this symbol the FEM lens causes them to act different ways that they are dictated by the society and culture of immoralities because after all these black boys never get a chance while bigger doesn't act as hostile or reserved around Bessie as he does with his family he still wears a mask concealing his fear and shame always covered by a mask he never lets her know how he feels in the pale yellow sheen of the street lamp they faced each other Bessie is an outward expression of Biggers beer she


represents all that he is afraid of including being fearful of taking the money but his heed makes him do it bigger must conceal himself just as young said humans form a mask which conceals their true form as Bessie shows his internal struggle with what he felt his cool external features were the result of a long in graining of male female and black white stereotypes there are a tremendous amount of objects that have symbolic meaning to him as he transitions into his life within the white world these would include the gun brick white hand and knife all of these objects that he both utilizes and fierce at the same time he comes to the same deep realization with each object that he must used them to progress himself although they symbolize what he fears most fear renders him unable to comprehend his own doubts and frailties of being he's being unequal with the gun unmanly with the brick constantly oppressed by the white hand and gripped by a false sense of security provided by the knife and how it aids in the killing of Mary but cannot finish the job ironically forcing him to rely on the white man's tool to symbolically behead white society these objects are the dehumanization existing by industrialism they are the way he transitions but ultimately they're his downfall in weakness they expose his hubris of need for power control and equality all of these objects provide personal symbols for him to relate to these are vehicles for shame and fear and hate but also existentialism and that one can have all the physical help in the world but they will only end in the same way they began this is the cyclical nature of life and the unchangeable fate of certainty this also relates to a tenant of Young's that states personal symbols uncover the true individual as we watched fearfully ashes were piling up in the furnace and bigger piled lies on top of lies he and the furnace were parallels to each other as they both consumed that which brought them fear and turned them into useless anxiety and false confidence that in the end betrayed their secrets the furnace suffusing a red glare over everything as equivalent to Biggers eyes read from sleep and alcohol represents the young based archetype of the color red in Wright's depictions the red eyes and red embers symbolize Biggers subconscious knowledge of his inability to escape oppression which is why all fluctuations of the color are revolved around his failed attempt at subconsciously undermining the white race by telling them that he had killed a rich white girl further illuminating the catalytic grip of the flames have on bigger the fire singing in the furnace ignites a white-hot passion the archetypal meaning of the metal depicting his ironclad bond to the furnace as it now balances him between exposure and safety between shame and pride [Music] we wear the masks by Paul Laurence Dunbar is the epitomize ation of bigger his mask shields him from the white community he smiles not politely and stammers out yes'm at anyone's request this mask is his security his comfort and his only means of survival in the white world white white images are shown with in this novel consistently throughout that symbolize many differing ideas the dissonance and juxtaposition between the fact that he was black and she was white shows the idea of purity changing into one of blindness the constant reminder of differences between black and white is reciprocated in the societal ideals these are the reasons as to what they define themselves as for bigger the thought an image of the whole blind world which had made him ashamed and afraid fell away when he killed Mary no longer did his blackness define who he was being black was a dangerous burden compared to the sanctity of whiteness all of these whites are tall white and silent and their blindness to the surrounding area they have no magnitude of the effects of their control over the black communities the Dalton home is the epitome of this mrs. Dalton reverberates the naturalism ideal that humans are fragile in the face of their environment she cannot deal with the sight of her husband's being so she turns to her blindness both physical and metaphorical her futile realization results in freedom from her solitude of horrific actions against the black community the white symbols are not doing full justice to the idea that whiteness is not pure but an ironic symbol that on the inside they may not be so pure and clean but the image one portrays such as the Daltons do can blind others to their true intentions the most important white symbol ever is Kate the big white cat that bigger feels betrayed by throughout the book she follows him about her green eyes pools of accusation and guilt gazing past him and into his soul exposing his excessive guilt and shame she watches him carefully acting as a physical representation of bigger perception of the white community he feels as though whites who were looking for him never took their eyes off of him they were constantly analyzing his every move this paranoia pushes Biggers levels of fear and shame over the edge pushing him to wish to kill the cat instead of letting her betray him like the cat time never stops moving it acts as a flat circle several times bigger looked at the clock in disbelief as it continued to tick tick tick unwaveringly throughout every scene the clock exists as a constant reminder to bigger that as existentialism explains there is no higher being that he can wait for to set things straight he the problem boy must learn to ignore the restraints of the human construct of time and instead take responsibility for his actions in book 2 he slowly starts to embrace this existentialist tenant wanting to say publicly that he had done it he had killed Mary Dalton the clock is metaphorically ticking however on his ability to do this as he progressively grows more agitated and begins to lie more and more avoiding the truth furthermore the clock represents the idea that in the fight for social equality for Negroes the time is never going to be considered right by the majority to combat oppression bigger must follow existentialism and realized that if he acts with time as a Supreme Being he cannot grasp


the freedom that he has once he has fully immersed himself in existentialism he will be like a man reborn released from the confines of time as humanity sees it embracing freedom after despair clocks also play a significant role for bigger before he connects with existentialism in the concept of stopping the pulse of time time always seemed to be running out on vigor keeping him from living ex essentially without it the most prominent symbol in book 2 of native Sun however is weather as the weather begins to change from a few big white clouds drifting to a time when huge wet flakes of snow floated down slowly right depicts the parallels between the shifting weather and the shifting emotions at bigger throughout the story when the weather is white bright and optimistic vigorous confident and his ability to fool the police and the rest of the world bigger feels that his crime is an anchor weighing from safely and time in a place where he feels in control in the dark however bigger feels uncertain his shame and guilt and fear consumes him impressing upon him the flaws and his plans the imperfections in his life and his inability to make sound decisions the snow moved in note given direction but filled the world with a vast white storm of flying powder that impressed upon him how he could not escape the fate he made for himself he is unable to remove himself from the white whirlwind of fate that encapsulates him seeing the sightless the white woman in a white house with white walls and a white cat she cannot see but has heard quite clearly she cannot know but senses it I'm right here why can't you see me why can't you hear me but you can be heard what makes you so special the black man and the black house with black walls and a black cat he can see but has not heard he knows but can never sense he is right here why can't you hear him why can't he hear you but never speak what makes him so special you Fashion Institute of Technology, Chelsea, Manhattan.

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