K I D S Ñ P a r e nt i n g
H E LP YO U R KI D
by Laura S. Olivos, Psy.D. I T ’ S I M P O R TA N T
to acknowledge that kids, teachers, and parents have all suffered during the pandemic, and a lot of us are still in survival mode in some form or another. Kids have had to relearn how to engage in a classroom setting. If you find out that your child is having challenging behavior—not listening to directions, having trouble focusing and completing tasks, getting out of their seat, becoming verbally or physically aggressive, or having frequent meltdowns—it can feel overwhelming. But it’s also important to be compassionate with your child and yourself. Children are not their behaviors. You’re not a bad parent, and you don’t want your child to assume they are inherently bad. Behaviors are just signals of unmet needs or lagging skills that are occurring beneath the surface.
Take a step back. We often jump in to try to fix a child’s behavior without focusing on what might be fueling it. Many things can have an impact, including medical conditions, developmental delays, learning differences, and trauma. For example, if a child has sensory aversions in their environment (bright lights, loud sounds, itchy textures on their skin), they may act out their discomfort through aggression or meltdowns. If a child in day care has a language delay and can’t be understood, they can get frustrated and have emotional outbursts. Show teachers and caregivers you’re on the same team. Be approachable and make it clear you wish to be their ally as you figure out what’s causing your child’s behavior and the best ways to handle it. Discuss your child’s strengths as well as their problems. For example, if your child is artistic, doodling in a coloring book might be
PA R E N T S
28 M A RCH
2022
