Lavender Magazine 753

March 7–May 19

Sadie The New Barnette An art installation and Black queer social space where everyone is welcome. The bar is open for service every Thursday night. ©2024 Walker Art Center

walkerart.org

Sadie Barnette: The New Eagle Creek Saloon is made possible by generous support from the Edward R. Bazinet Charitable Foundation.

Installation view of Sadie Barnette: The New Eagle Creek Saloon, The Kitchen, New York, 2022. Photo: Adam Reich.

Free Thursday Nights are sponsored by

CONTENTS ISSUE 753 April 4-17, 2024

Spring Dine & Drink 16 Eating Tacos (and Other Tasty Meals) For A Good Cause 18 Seeking Sustainability and Community at Seward Co-op 22 “There’s Something For Everyone” at The Market at Malcolm Yards 26 “Deep Friendship” – People Who Want To Be Welcomed in Saint Anthony Might Consider Taking a Dive

10

22 OUR LAVENDER

8 From the Editor 9 A Word in Edgewise

OUR SCENE

10 Sasha Colby: Stripped, RuPaul, and so Much More 12 Eat The Menu: Barbie’s Night Out

OUR LIVES

28 Ask Elise: Let’s Talk About an Underrepresented Topic – Lesbian Abuse

OUR AFFAIRS

29 Books

OUR HOMES

30 Our Rides: A Crosstrek Into The Wilderness

OUR RESOURCES

32 Community Connection 33 The Network

ON THE COVER

Mike, Sid and Micha. Photo by Mike Hnida 22: Photo by Madison Roth, 10: Photo courtesy of Preston Meneses, 18: Photo courtesy of Seward Co-Op, 30: Photo by Randy Stern

4

LAVENDER APRIL 4-17, 2024

18

30

Staycation

Lakeville

952.435.3399

Plymouth

763.551.3544

Roseville

651.633.7042

Woodbury

651.730.0321

schneidermans.com

Coon Rapids 763.219.1356

Duluth

218.723.2302

REDWOOD CEDAR BEST PRICES BEST QUALITY

NE Minneapolis

Since 1933

Volume 29, Issue 753 • April 4-17, 2024

EDITORIAL

DECKS

FENCES

612-781-3333 siweklumber.com

GARDEN BEDS 2536 Marshall Street NE Minneapolis Monday-Friday: 7am-5pm Saturday: 8am-4pm

Locally sourced advocacy and advice from lawyers you know.

Custody & Parenting Time • Child Support Dissolution • Spousal Maintenance Complex Valuation • Domestic Partnership Adoption • Third Party Custody • Appeals

www.bestlaw.com

612.339.7121

Managing Editor Randy Stern 612-461-8723 Editorial Assistant Linda Raines 612-436-4660 Editor Emeritus Ethan Boatner Editorial Associate George Holdgrafer Contributors Lakey Bridge, Buer Carlie, Natasha DeLion, Alyssa Homeier, Terrance Griep, Elise Maren, Jen PeeblesHampton, Linda Raines, Gabrielle Reeder, Alexander Reed, Gabrielle Reeder, Madison Roth, Jamez L. Smith, Susan Swavely, Carla Waldemar, Todd P. Walker, Emma Walytka, Spencer White

ADVERTISING Vice President of Sales & Advertising Barry Leavitt 612-436-4690 Account Executives Nathan Johnson 612-436-4695 Richard Kranz 612-436-4675 Advertising Associate George Holdgrafer Sales & Event Administration Linda Raines 612-436-4660 National Sales Representatives Rivendell Media 212-242-6863

CREATIVE Creative/Digital Director Mike Hnida 612-436-4679 Photographer Sophia Hantzes

ADMINISTRATION

N ORTHLAND V ISIONS N ATIVE AMERICAN A RT & G IFTS

Publisher Lavender Media, Inc. President & CEO Stephen Rocheford 612-436-4665 Chief Financial Officer Doug Starkebaum 612-436-4664 Administrative Assistant Michael Winikoff 612-436-4660 Distribution Metro Periodical Partners 612-281-3249 Founders George Holdgrafer, Stephen Rocheford Inspiration Steven W. Anderson (1954-1994), Timothy J. Lee (1968-2002), Russell Berg (1957-2005), Kathryn Rocheford (1914-2006), Jonathan Halverson (1974-2010), Adam Houghtaling (1984-2012), Walker Pearce (1946-2013), Tim Campbell (1939-2015), John Townsend (1959-2019) Letters are subject to editing for grammar, punctuation, space, and libel.

They should be no more than 300 words. Letters must include name, address, and phone number. Unsigned letters will not be published.

Priority will be given to letters that refer to material previously published in Lavender Magazine. Submit letters to Lavender Magazine, Letters to the Editor, 5100 Eden Ave, Suite 107, Edina, MN 55436 or e-mail editor@lavendermagazine.com.

For our Privacy Policy, go to LavenderMagazine.com/resources/ privacy-policy

LAVENDER MEDIA, INC.

5100 Eden Ave, Suite 107, Edina, MN 55436 612-436-4660 Office 612-436-4660 Subscriptions/Distribution 612-436-4660 Lavender Advertising

NATIVE ARTWORK • JEWELRY • WILD RICE • BLANKETS • QUILLWORK BEADWORK • ORIGINAL ART • DREAM CATCHERS • GIFTS & MORE

www.northlandvisions.com

861 East Hennepin Ave, Mpls, MN • 612-872-0390 • T-F 10-5:30PM Sat 10-5PM 6

LAVENDER APRIL 4-17, 2024

Lavender 2016 Magazine of the Year

Entire contents copyright 2024. All rights reserved. Publication of the name or photograph of any person, organization, or business in this magazine does not reflect upon one’s sexual orientation whatsoever. Lavender® Magazine reserves the right to refuse any advertising. This issue of Lavender® Magazine is available free of charge during the time period published on the cover. Pickup at one of our distribution sites is limited to one copy per person.

OUR LAVENDER | FROM THE EDITOR

Our Daily Bread

BY RANDY STERN

Every year, we center our April Dine and Drink issue around Dining Out For Life. This fundraiser supports the great mission of the Aliveness Project in their efforts to provide services and support to people with HIV/AIDS across the Twin Cities and beyond. Now in its 30th year, Dining Out For Life has been a successful effort towards meeting the goals towards eliminating this virus and disease from our society.

This is not an easy task. No task is easy. It is easier to select a restaurant that participates in Dining Out For Life and make reservations for that day or evening than tackling the virus.

Actually, it is easier to get an HIV test. It is easy to talk to your date, partner, or spouse about ways to make sure no one is spreading it.

Hopefully, this will spur you on to select a place to dine and give towards ending HIV in our community and society. In this issue, we’re featuring Nico’s Tacos – all three locations!

Last year, my efforts took me across the Twin Cities. A public “thank you” is in order to the Mason Jar Kitchen & Bar in Eagan and AnPhoto by Randy Stern

8

LAVENDER APRIL 4-17, 2024

gelo’s Italian Restaurant in South Saint Paul for their hospitality, participation, and support for Dining Out For Life. I’m happy to report that they are participating again this year!

Sometimes, it takes a fundraising event to prompt your discovery of new places to eat.

Rather, new places to gather and enjoy your favorite beverage. Or, to try a new one on.

This issue only scratches the surface. We also feature the good Seward Co-Op does for the community. How about one of the hottest, hippest food halls in the Twin Cities? What about one of the newest gathering spots for our community? As usual, we are packing plenty into this issue!

However, I’d give the following plug to a restaurant I am enjoying lately. It is in Saint Cloud on West St. Germain right in the thick of a resurgent downtown. It is a Thai-Filipino place called Arroy run by the lovely LGBTQ+ couple who serves up some familiar and new dishes worth trying. Someday, we will do a breakout story on that restaurant…but, spoiler alert, it’s good and worth the drive to support our community’s business!

One day, we will feature your favorite dining spot, along with your favorite place for drinks and social life. There are so many places to uncover across our region – not just in the Twin Cities.

For now, Bon Appetit!. 

OUR LAVENDER | A WORD IN EDGEWISE

Fantastic Fungi: Mycoremediation 101–required

BY E.B. BOATNER I feel it will be best if world leaders–any official from mayor on up, had required reading assignments, wrote term papers and sat exams, passing with a minimum B-minus. Draconian, but some things won’t change as long as profit’s the only ring to grab on Earth’s merry-go-round.

My epiphany came as I perused articles and interviews in Paul Stamets’s Fantastic Fungi: How Mushrooms Can Heal, Shift Consciousness & Save the Planet. Things are a bit tetchy on Terra, given the myriad ways we’re polluting ourselves, others, and Earth. These authors are of a similar mind, each bringing to this short volume some aspect of the near-miraculous properties of fungi (three million species with perhaps millions more).

The mushrooms one sees in the forest, buys in the supermarket, orders out on the town, are the fruiting bodies of uncountable thready miles of mycelium that run beneath our feet–throughout the planet. Should they vanish, the merry-goround would spin–vacant.

The capacity of fungi to break down chemicals and eliminate toxins, writes mycologist Daniel Reyes, has been proven, and now we must find ways to use fungal “Mycoremediation” to “absorb, degrade, or sequester contaminants in soil

or water;” to “break down more complex chains of toxic molecules into smaller pieces” allowing other microorganisms to finish the job, restoring life to damaged sites.

Some liken mycorrhizal fungi interconnections to the Internet, but, Merlin Sheldrake (Entangled Life) explains, fungi are so ancient they aided plants’ ancestors to desert water for land 450,000,000 years ago. The Internet, he reminds, connects people through inert hardware, while mycorrhizal networks are mainly “wetware” whose main actors are “agents with interests, making decisions moment by moment on how to manage their survival.”

One take-away from these essays and interviews is that learning about this vast system and its uses is daunting; it already exists, ready and waiting to be optimally organized for human benefit. It’s there ; ready to replace drenching crops and workers alike in insecticides, and so on.

Tradd Cotter, author of Organic Mushroom Farming asks, “What is more important than fungi?” then answers, “Nothing.” Water-related diseases kill three million yearly, so he’s currently working with Clemson University’s engineering department using small bins to grow biomass.

These myceliated blocks of substrate act as a

micron filter. “By creating entry points through these blocks, you can channel water through them and strip out the bacterial and biological contaminants–including cholera–that stick to the particulates that the mycelium filters out.”

Others describe similar lo-tech solutions started with pilot studies at a city-level, where the presence of “citizen scientists” is growing, attracted by community labs where their knowledge can be tested and pooled and provide access to equipment beyond an individual’s pocketbook. “We’re really on the cusp of what’s possible,” said Reyes.

To make even a small gain against life-threatening and energy-sapping diseases through mycelium filters or mycelium protected crop seeds could tip the balance towards healthier and longer lives, greater personal income and national economies. Why wait for possible massive funding or some vast scale future project when small victories can be won daily with simple myceliated blocks of substrate?

“Think Small: Start Now With What You Have” would be my Core Curriculum’s keystone.

Folks are experimenting on their own–and it’s working. 

LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

9

OUR SCENE | THE ARTS

Sasha Colby Stripped, RuPaul, and so Much More

BY BUER CARLIE

Sasha Colby is perhaps best known as the current reigning queen of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” (she was the winner of Season 15), but that is only the tip of the iceberg that is Sasha Colby. We were lucky enough to chat with her about all of it: from her impressive resume to her time on RuPaul’s Drag Race to the importance of representation and – of course – her must-see show, Stripped, which will be at the Fillmore in Minneapolis on Sunday, April 7th.

Sasha, who is sometimes referred to as “your favorite drag queen’s favorite drag queen” began her career long before she won her season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and her impact extends far past the accolades she has received. In her 20 years of being a professional drag performer she has found time to do it all. “I’m a trans activist, pageant winner (Miss Continental in 2012), an actor, performer, dancer, a drag mother…and a pretty funny entertainer,” Sasha says, “all wrapped up in a rocking body.”

Through the years the essence of what Sasha brings to drag has remained remarkably consistent – although she’ll be the first to tell you that what she is doing now looks different than when she was first starting out. “The more you do pageants, the more you perform, the more connections you make and the more your drag can evolve for an outside spectator,” she muses, “But I feel like for myself, my drag performance and the way I perform has stayed the same.”

For Sasha, drag has always been about finding the story at the center of her performances. “This feeling of storytelling is innate to me. I always try to put that first and foremost when I do numbers. I need a story. I need a character. Even if it’s just for me,” she says, “I’ve always been able to tap into that first love.”

Sasha’s knack for storytelling, her impeccable sense of style, her stage presence, and her comedic talents have all contributed to her status Photo courtesy of Preston Meneses

as a drag icon. In addition to her skills and talent, she is also beloved because of her unique set of life experiences and identities. “The intersectionality of just me being me allows me to really connect with a lot of people,” Sasha explains, “There’s so many different ways that I can connect with people, and I find that intersectionality to be really easy.”

Over the years Sasha has realized that the diversity of people who see themselves reflected in her is quite vast. “I represent so many kinds of groups. Native Hawaiians, but then not just Native Hawaiians; any indigenous culture,” explains Sasha. “I get a lot of Polynesian people that can identify with me. A lot of First Nations people…identify with the indigenous part of myself. And then there’s the trans part of myself… [and] people who have gotten out of very strict religious backgrounds.

They can relate to my story.”

Finding love for herself and pride in her identity has been a journey.

“It’s not as scary as when you’re younger and you think you’re all these things that no one gets,” says Sasha. “But then you get older and you realize…there’s so many people like you and there’s so many people you can reach.”

That reach grew exponentially during Sasha’s time on “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” which was an exciting chapter in Sasha’s career as a drag performer. “Being on a reality show in general is wild,” says Sasha, “And then…[Drag Race is] like every reality show combined. You got to do ‘Project Runway,’ plus ‘America’s Next Top Model,’ plus ‘Big Brother,’ plus you’re voting people out like ‘Survivor.’”

Needless to say, being on the show was a whirlwind – chaotic and thrilling and over in the seeming blink of an eye. Sasha found that two things particularly helped her when approaching the show.

First was her pageant experience. “My pageant experience helped me to allow myself to prepare as much as I could to not be prepared for when I get there,” says Sasha. “[You prepare] so you can be able to catch these fly balls that are thrown at you.”

Second, Sasha kept reminding herself to remain grateful for the experience and the exposure that came along with it. “I tried to help myself by staying centered. Understanding [that]…even if you don’t win…[just being on] this show can make you a star,” explains Sasha.

As we all know Sasha did not have to settle for just being a participant. “Luckily, I got to bust through the whole door and grab the crown…I got out of my own head and was able to have a lot of fun in the process.”

Winning RuPaul’s Drag Race was a great launching pad to even more opportunities, which brings us back to Stripped. “It’s nice to do this victory lap this year and tour all over the world,” says Sasha.

When asked what audiences should expect from Stripped, Sasha becomes thoughtful. “Expect the unexpected, I got to say…A lot of people, they know me from pageants, …YouTube or from Drag Race.”

Stripped will be different.

“This show is the first time I get to bring people into my world. Usually, as performers, we go into other people’s worlds, but this is a place that I got to create for myself,” says Sasha. “It feels really familiar to me in the way that I’m storytelling, but I don’t think a lot of people have seen this side of me. There’s these many sides of me that they can see.”

In addition to those sides of Sasha that fans will be newly introduced to, Stripped is ultimately a celebration of Sasha’s love of drag. “Stripped is really me stripping back to why I love drag so much,” says Sasha, “It’s always nice to tap back and that’s what I’ve been doing lately.”

Tickets to Stripped are available through Live Nation and can be found on Sasha Colby’s website under the Tour section. The show is at the Fillmore in Minneapolis at 7 PM on Sunday, April 7th. 

Sasha Colby: Stripped Tour April 7 at 8:00 PM (Doors Open at 7:00 PM) The Fillmore, 525 N. 5th St., Minneapolis $51.00-105.00 www.livenation.com/venue/KovZ917AxCO/fillmore-minneapolispresented-by-affinity-plus-events

LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

11

OUR SCENE | EAT THE MENU

Barbie’s Night Out

BY CARLA WALDEMAR

Wear pink: You’ll blend right in.

That Pepto hue rules the décor of the North Loop’s hottest new dining destination, Dario. It’s offset by perky accents of swimming-pool blue dressing the spacious room’s banquettes and the tiles adorning its snazzy, center-of-the-action bar. Giant picture windows overlook an otherwise-forgettable cul de sac just off Washington Avenue, whose interior divulges a cache of discrete dining areas, imparting an aura of intimacy to this showtime endeavor.

Our fellow diners were dressed for a night on the town, although our server wasn’t. Barbie—and I—would frown on her jeans. (Didn’t she get the memo?) More importantly, she performed perfectly, starting with the delivery of our stout Old Beef Short Rib Agnolotti, Pineapple & Passionfruit. Photos by Mike Hnida

12

LAVENDER APRIL 4-17, 2024

Fashioneds, from a cocktail list that favors more unique and fruity libations. Wines BTG mostly salute Italian makers ($14-22).

The well-curated menu emphasizes the kitchen’s handmade pasta, both extruded and filled, along with a half-dozen proteins to follow, plus veggie sides, both cold and hot. We began, as probably every table does, as the word has spread, with Oysters Dario—six petite, briny bits per order ($30), topped with a tiny mound of “spicy” beef tartare, giving an inventive twist to surfand-turf. However, the dominant spice proved to be crunchy salt— so much of it, in fact, that it rather Continued on page 14

The Right Sized Space for Any Sized Party!

Corporate events • Birthdays Reunions • Family get togethers Bachelorette / bachelor party • Rehearsal dinners

4330 Nicollet Avenue, Minneapolis, MN 55409

LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

13

OUR SCENE | EAT THE MENU

ruined the experience and proved close to inedible, despite the genius addition of a marble of frozen lime juice to liven the duet.

But the pasta beckoned, and an order of the menu’s star performer, the Doppio Ravioli ($24) provided an unusual double filling to the joined pockets—one a lusty sunchoke puree, its twin with smooth ricotta mined with honey, hazelnuts and rosemary—a standout dish from the resident Pasta Whisperer in Dario’s kitchen.

We also enjoyed the richer, bolder flavors presented in the beef short rib agnolotti—filled pasta circlets bathed in a reduction of beef jus and red wine, then endowed with even more gutsiness thanks to bacon and Gorgonzola in the mix ($28). Fortunately, my partner and I shared every dish, Doppio Ravioli

Need financial guidance?

Anyone can give advice. The New Hope Group is a safe place that aligns your values with your goals, because we believe that everyone deserves a personalized financial plan.

Patti Powell, Financial Advisor 763-533-0357 • patti.powell@thrivent.com connect.thrivent.com/new-hope-group Thrivent provides advice and guidance through its Financial Planning Framework that generally includes a review and analysis of a client’s financial situation. A client may choose to further their planning engagement with Thrivent through its Dedicated Planning Services (an investment advisory service) that results in written recommendations for a fee.

6066760.1

for it would have been a palate-tiring endeavor to polish this off solo. Other pastas on offer range from goat cheese mezzaluna in lamb ragu to a spicy rigatoni alla vodka, boosted with fennel sausage; from a divine-sounding (next time!) spaghetti alla chitarra limone, whose “guitarstring” strands come entwined with blue crab, chilies and Meyer lemon, to a simpler fusilli alla pomodoro ($24-28).

But (as they say on late-night TV) wait!

There’s more! Entrees ($26-29, plus two more costly steaks) include trout, skate wing, brick chicken and our choice, char siu pork belly.

How the heck did this Asian-influenced dish sneak past the menu police? I have no idea, but we had to try it. A tumble of tiny clams mingled with tender, sublimely fat-kissed pork in a bold black bean sauce—perfectly fine but not memorable.

Instead, next time, I’d venture into the list of vegetables ($15 range), both cold (cukes with feta tzatziki and smoked trout roe, for instance) and hot, such as the grilled turnips paired with green apple, chili crisp and ginger aioli, or the grilled cabbage with horseradish potatoes, cider vinegar and dill.

Yes, there’s a short dessert list that stars chocolate cake a la mode; a pineapple and passionfruit pairing abetted by coconut and macadamias; and my choice, affogato—a shot of espresso made even more wonderful with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. (Remember this one, come summer: It’s a life-saver.)

Parking meters serve a few lucky diners, while a valet ($15) takes care of the rest of us.

Benvenuto, Dario—and I’m guessing Barbie would also approve.  Dario 323 N. Washington Ave., Minneapolis (612) 614-2560 www.dariorestaurant.com

Pamela M Petersen Pamela M Petersen Agency LLC

Comprehensive wealth management strategies tailored to your needs.

Robb Clasen Wealth Management Advisor 7830 Century Boulevard, Chanhassen Office: 952-361-2917 | Cell: 952-232-9438 | robb.clasen@usbank.com U.S. Wealth Management –U.S. Bancorp Investments is a marketing logo for U.S. Bancorp Investments.

Investment and insurance products and services including annuities are: NOT A DEPOSIT • NOT FDIC INSURED • MAY LOSE VALUE • NOT BANK GUARANTEED • NOT INSURED BY ANY FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AGENCY Investment and insurance products and services are available through U.S. Bancorp Investments, the marketing name for U.S. Bancorp Investments, Inc., member FINRA and SIPC, an investment adviser and a brokerage subsidiary of U.S. Bancorp and affiliate of U.S. Bank. ©2023 U.S. Bancorp 1076505 (10/23)

Jamie Nabozny, Agent Nabozny & Associates, INC. (763) 424-7933 jnabozny@amfam.com Se habla español

AS YOUR DREAMS EVOLVE, WE’RE HERE TO SUPPORT YOU. Whether you’re buying your first car or your retirement home, American Family Insurance is with you every step of the way, ensuring that your dreams are always protected.

American Family Mutual Insurance Company, S.I. & its Operating Companies, American Family Insurance Company, 6000 American Parkway, Madison, WI 53783 008747 – Rev. 12/15 ©2015 – 18737338

OUR SCENE | SPRING DINE & DRINK

Eating Tacos (and Other Tasty Meals) For A Good Cause

BY SUSAN SWAVELY

This April, supporting our community is as easy as… well, going out to dinner! Thursday, April 25th, marks the 30th anniversary of ‘Dining Out for Life in Minnesota,’ so get ready to grab a meal with your pals, partner, loved ones, or yourself!

Dining Out for Life in Minnesota is an annual event where, for one day only, more than 90 restaurants around Minnesota donate part of the proceeds from each meal they serve to the Aliveness Project. The Aliveness Project is a wonderful organization that supports people living with HIV, both socially and medically.

Sonya Bieza (she/her), the Development Manager at the Aliveness Project, says about the organization, “We have a culturally humble approach to care. We go beyond addressing the disease itself, actively identifying and breaking down barriers hindering diagnosis and empowering individuals to embrace life to its fullest. HIV is not a death sentence; rather, it’s an opportunity for resilience and thriving.” It might sound too good to be true: that buying a meal out on the town will help support our community and HIV care directly, but it really is that simple.

The Aliveness Project has created a wonderful community for people living with HIV, and its work not only supports community members, but it also works to destigmatize the disease and educate people about it. Bieza says, “We use the term member instead of patient to respect an individual’s agency and dignity. Anyone living with HIV/AIDS can become a member, and members can access services for free.”

At the bar: Micha, Mike and Sid. In the kitchen: Andres, Alejandro, Sid and Jenna. Photos by Mike Hnida

16

LAVENDER APRIL 4-17, 2024

These services include meals, groceries, phones, housing, healthcare, and so much more. Bieza elaborates, “We have an outreach team that drives around in our mobile syringe exchange van, providing harm reduction services. We even have an on-site PrEP clinic called Thrive!” The Aliveness Project goes above and beyond to make sure members feel respected and cared for, as well as a part of a thriving community. Bieza says, “One of my favorite things about The Aliveness Project is that staff, new members, old members, and volunteers all eat together. Recognizing the persistent stigma surrounding HIV, we embrace the power of shared meals.”

And Dining Out for Life is all about sharing a meal! Bieza says that “each [participating] restaurant donates a minimum of 20% of all food sales… All proceeds from DOFL-MN support services for people living with HIV provided by The Aliveness Project.” This means that the meal you buy will directly help our community. It’s a true win-win!

The Aliveness Project grows every year, and Dining Out for Life in Minnesota plays a huge part in helping them reach their financial goals. Bieza says that this past year alone, “we served 44,810 meals, distributed 286,488 pounds of groceries, and continued offering free PrEP. We drove to encampments 3 times a week delivering syringe exchange supplies, HIV tests and food, and tripled the size of our Housing Program.”

She elaborates on the growing need for the Aliveness Project: “We are currently in the midst of an HIV outbreak in the Twin Cities and in Duluth. With the rise in cases, we are serving more people than ever.” You really can make a difference this April by dining out for life. Just by enjoying a delicious meal at one of your favorite local spots, you can change lives for the better. Our community is strong, and the more we care for each other, the stronger it becomes.

There are so many delicious places you can check out for Dining Out for Life. One of the mouth-watering restaurants participating this year is LGBTQ-owned restaurant group Nico’s Taco Bar! This April will be the third year Nico’s Taco Bar participates in Dining Out for Life, and they agree that it’s a very worthy cause. Co-owner Sid (he/him) says, “We take a lot of pride in giving back to the community we exist in. As a member of the LGBTQIA community, it’s important for me specifically to help a cause that affects this same community.”

Not only will you be serving our community by dining at Nico’s on April 25th, but you’ll get a fantastic meal while you’re at it! With a menu that honors Sid’s Mexican roots, Nico’s Taco Bar leans into authentic indigenous Mexican flavors and styles. Sid says, “At Nico’s we pride ourselves on a 100% scratch, indigenous kitchen.

We strongly believe in food with integrity and purpose. From our hand-roasted, stone ground salsas, to our labor intensive Nixtamal tortillas made from heirloom corn grown on small farms in Mexico, all of our items are produced from raw ingredients.”

The authenticity and attention to detail doesn’t stop at their impressive food menu; their cocktails and drinks are made with just as much care. Sid says, “We use only 100% agave tequila, mezcal, and other agave spirits, including our Pulque, a traditional, ancient Mexican beverage produced from the fermentation of the fresh agave sap known as aguamiel.” With such a drool-worthy menu, it’s not hard to dine out for life!

Supporting local businesses is important year-round, of course, but Dining Out for Life in Minnesota is a great opportunity to do two good things at once! Caring for the community really is as easy as breaking bread with your people. “Nico’s is very much your local familyowned restaurant,” Sid says. “[it] was founded in 2013 by my tío Alejandro and [his] wife Jenna, with just a small menu of tacos, salsas, and margaritas, with roots in our homeland.”

In 2018, Sid and his brother “joined forces” and took over the business, expanding it to reach even more hungry guests. Sid says “We just opened up our third restaurant location this February in Southwest Minneapolis and are excited to have all three locations participating [in Dining Out for Life] this year.”

At Nico’s Taco Bar, they believe in both connecting with and giving back to the community they’re happy to be a part of. We’re all very lucky to have such a strong community that cares for each of us. So don’t miss out on all the fun, fellowship, and giving back. Sonya Bieza sums it up perfectly: “All you have to do is Dine Out! I look forward to the day The Aliveness Project can close our doors for good because we will live in a world free from HIV and AIDS. Together we can make this happen.”  Dine Out for Life in Minnesota Thursday, April 25th, 2024 www.diningoutforlifemn.org To participate, you can order takeout, curbside pickup, delivery, or dine in.

The Aliveness Project www.aliveness.org Nico’s Taco Bar 2516 Hennepin Ave. S., Minneapolis 2260 Como Ave., St Paul 4959 Penn Ave. S., Minneapolis www.nicostacobar.com

LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

17

OUR SCENE | SPRING DINE & DRINK

Seeking Sustainability and Community at Seward Co-op

BY SPENCER WHITE

Walking up to the Seward Co-op on Franklin Avenue, you are first greeted with a wavy green overhang that reads “Everyone Welcome” above the doors. Upon walking through said doors, you are surrounded by the delicious smell of spices filling the seemingly meticulously cleaned aisles.

While it is evident immediately upon arrival that the Co-op is a great place to find organic and locally sourced food, what is less immediately apparent is the community they are cultivating behind the scenes.

Natalia Mendez, Seward Co-op’s marketing and communication manager, said their favorite part about working for the Co-op is the opportunity to use food and groceries as a tool for equity.

“We try to allow our community to feel like they’re a part of our stores and they’re a part of what we’re building here because, as a community-owned grocery store, we wouldn’t be able to operate without them,” Mendez said.

Seward Co-op has a lot of LGBTQ+ owners and employees, according to Mendez. They also said almost 40% of Seward Co-op staff identify as BIPOC, a rarity among similar Co-ops.

Photos courtesy of Seward Co-Op

18

LAVENDER APRIL 4-17, 2024

This focus on community within the Co-op itself extends to the rest of its operations in the form of the cooperative ownership system, which allows employees to gain ownership of the Coop after working 1000 hours, as well as different community-focused classes and support for local non-profits, according to Mendez.

These classes are often led by BIPOC community members and, while many are understandably centered around food, these classes often specifically focus on community feeling, according to Mendez.

The SEED program, which allows customers to round up their grocery bill to donate to local Continued on page 20

Suite 1600 Medical Arts Building, 825 Nicollet Mall, Minneapolis, MN 55402

LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

19

OUR SCENE | SPRING DINE & DRINK Speaking of workers, it is important to remember those who make the Co-op function to begin with.

Seward Co-ops and United Food and Commercial Workers (UCFW) came to an agreement October 2 which established a plan to increase wages by $5 an hour over three years and at least $2.15 immediately and retroactively upon ratification, according to the Co-op’s website. By August 2025, the starting rate at the Co-op, regardless of experience, will be $20.50 an hour.

This came after UCFW voted to authorize a strike last September, according to KSTP. At the time, Union members had been working without a collective bargaining agreement for over a month.

However, according to Mendez, the $5 increase met UCFW’s original demands and then some.

They said it is important for the Co-op and the UCFW to be collaborators to ensure workers feel respected and happy at work. non-profits, raises over $10,000 every month, according to Seward Co-op’s website. Mendez said the non-profits that receive funding are chosen by those working in the store itself.

Recipients of these donations include the Cultural Wellness Center, the East Phillips Neighborhood Institute, The Aliveness Project and many more.

The Co-op donates $1000 annually to organizations that promote bicycling as an alternative mode of transportation, according to their website. Mendez said 60% of the Co-op’s staff lives within biking distance of their location, making this an initiative that both supports their internal and external communities.

Every year, Seward Co-op organizes the Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) Fair to promote the local food system, according to their website. This year’s CSA Fair, which is in April, will showcase more than 30 local farms.

The CSA Fair is held in the Seward Co-op Creamery parking lot and offers a plethora of customizable options for those interested in CSA shares, according to their website.

The Seward Co-op also heavily prioritizes the intersection of sustainability of both food and community, Mendez said. After all, one of the primary goals of the Co-op in its Ends Statement is to “sustain a healthy community.”

As more people seek Minnesota as a state of refuge—whether it be from Climate Change or oppressive regulation against trans-rights— Mendez said sustainable practices in food production will strengthen this growing community.

“When you think about the health of people and the health of our community, I do feel that it is related to the health of our local food systems,” Mendez said.

While these regenerative methods of food production support the community and local farmers, this can sometimes mean higher prices on the shelves. However, the opposite can also be true.

According to Mendez, in times of decreased supply, as we saw in the egg shortage of recent memory, Seward Co-op was at an advantage due to their access to local farmers.

“Because we work with so many small, local farms where the chickens are happy and active and spread out, we have access to eggs in a way that commercial grocery stores didn’t,” Mendez said.

In cases where those prices are higher, though, you can walk away knowing that the extra cash you spent is supporting workers and making sure they are being treated and paid fairly, according to Mendez.

20 LAVENDER APRIL 4-17, 2024

Considering a majority of the staff lives within a mile and a half of the Co-op and are often the ones deciding which non-profits are receiving funding, Mendez said fostering community and being mindful of the workforce is essential.

The Seward Co-op offers a place where community is always near the top of the priority list. While prices can be higher at times, the Co-op offers high-quality products sourced locally and sustainably, according to Mendez.

If you are looking for a grocery store that prioritizes equity and sustainability in its practices, the Seward Co-op might be for you. 

Seward Co-Op 2823 E Franklin Ave., Minneapolis 317 E 38th St., Minneapolis www.seward.coop

The Ultimate Winery Wedding

For more wedding information visit DDWinery.com or email wedding@dancingdragonflywinery.com 2013 120th Ave | St. Croix Falls, WI 54024 | 715.483.WINE

Introducing Sugar & Salt, a neighborhood deli/cafe Home of La La Ice Cream Serving great food, coffees, baked goods, grab and go, and of course, ice cream

OPEN NOW

Wed-Fri 11am-8pm Sat & Sun 9:30am-8pm • Brunch til 2pm 3146 Hennepin Ave. • Mpls. sugarandsaltmpls@gmail.com sugarandsaltmpls.com 612-824-5252 LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

21

OUR SCENE | SPRING DINE & DRINK

“There’s Something For Everyone” at The Market at Malcolm Yards BYMADISON ROTH

On a sunny Monday morning, I set out to make the 40-minute trek through the north end of the University of Minnesota campus from my apartment to meet with the owner of the Market at Malcolm Yards in Prospect Park.

When I walked in, I was greeted with a warm smile by Patty Wall, one of the owners of Malcolm Yards. She immediately took me on a tour of the market, walking me through their ordering/payment process.

She offered for me to try a margarita that Malcolm Yards serves on tap, a brisket sandwich from Revival Smoked Meats and powdered donuts from Mr Paul’s Po’ Boys and Jams.

For a Monday afternoon, the Market was buzzing. A couple with their young child were sharing ice cream in a corner table while a business meeting was happening a couple of tables down, one man eating tacos from Martes Tacos while the other was eating sushi from Bagu, a Japanese restaurant.

We walked through the entire market as Patty told me more about how she and her husband bought the building, transforming it into a place for friends and family to gather for a good time while keeping the history of the building alive.

Food from Revival. Photo by Randy Stern. Market at Malcolm Yards interior. Photo by Madison Roth.

22 LAVENDER APRIL 4-17, 2024

“We wanted to attract everybody in the Twin Cities,” Wall said. “We like young, old, all different cultures, races, and that’s what you see in here. It’s a good mix of the Twin Cities.”

Everything is geared towards making the experience for the guests as easy as possible, according to Wall. Upon entering, guests get a card that acts as the payment method. At each station, guests will tap their card and it will add to the total from the place they visited before. Instead of paying at each individual station, everything will be totaled for the guests to pay at the end.

Wall brought people together by networking and seeking the best of the best while maintaining a sense of representation of different cultures.

Malcolm Yards has been open for two and half years, and many of the current staff were recruited by Wall through networking and allowing the chefs who work there to see the venue before it opened.

When I was chatting with Wall, she gushed over her staff, repeatedly saying how incredible they are.

“I have a very strong and talented team, and the Market runs really well because of them,” Wall said. “They’re very passionate about making sure our guests have a good experience.”

The sentiment was returned when talking with Jeff Rogers, one of the owners of Wrecktangle Pizza.

“They’re the best; they’re always super helpful,” Rogers said. “If there’s anything that comes up, it’s always handled promptly, which is tough to say in this industry.

We love them.”

Frameworks Gallery Custom Framing and Local Art 2022A Ford Parkway St. Paul, MN 55116 651-698-3372 WWW.FRAMEWORKS-GALLERY.COM

EXPRESS YOUR IC AUTHENT SELF

Unique creations that resonate with your journey Handcrafted in Minnesota with unique materials, including whiskey barrel oak. Schedule a free online video consultation today to start designing your dream jewelry!

651.321.9267 www.jewelrybyjohan.com Continued on page 24 LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

23

OUR SCENE | SPRING DINE & DRINK

The Twin Cities’ Finest Contractor

ASK US ABOUT INSTALLING HEATED GUTTER GUARDS! Installs onto existing gutter to keep out debris during the summer and melt ice and snow during the winter.

Self-Regulating Heat Cable

Providing home construction and exterior renovation needs, including: roofing, siding, windows, gutters, solar panel installations, and interior & exterior home remodels.

(612) 402-1173 | erik@solariscos.com | www.solariscos.com

Make sure your Business, Organization or Event is part of

Lavender 2024 Pride Edition

Rogers was looking to expand the Wrecktangle brand when Wall approached him about having a place for them in the Market.

“We love it there,” Rogers said. “It made all the sense in the world to have a place there.”

Miranda G., the manager for DelSur Empanadas at the Market, said it’s been cool to work in the Market despite having to adapt to a smaller cooking area. She added she enjoys the opportunity to work with the other chefs with the Market hosts events.

“The Market is really good at keeping us all connected, “ Miranda said. “We’re all individual restaurants, but it’s nice when we work together.”

Miranda, who has been a chef for about 10 years, said she loves seeing all the guests that come into the Market and having the chance to connect people with food.

“The opportunity is huge, and especially with this place, the amount of people we serve on a daily basis is amazing,” Miranda said. “I love to cook and food connects anybody, so it’s cool to have all these different cultures all in one place where everyone can come together.”

Everybody has a different taste, but this place has something for everyone. So many options for people.

Deadline: May 10, 2024 Published: May 30, 2024 To reserve ad space, call

612-436-4660 Available in print, online, and on Issuu.com.

Lavender is distributed at more than 430 sites, including around all major Pride events.

The Blueprint Room, Boxcar Bar and Mr. Paul's Po' Boys and Jams. Photos by Randy Stern.

24 LAVENDER APRIL 4-17, 2024

Before the Walls purchased the building that is the Market, it was going to be torn down. The building has been a staple in the Prospect Park community for decades, and this was something Wall wanted to maintain.

“It was risky, but I just knew in my gut that people would want to be here,” Wall said. “People love the 1800s building; it’s a little slice of history because I left all the graffiti and tried to keep as much of the building as we could.”

Looking ahead, Wall said she is looking forward to providing more opportunities for chefs in the Twin Cities and hosting more events for the community. She added this started as a passion project, and seeing where the Market has gone in its first couple of years has left her with a sense of accomplishment.

“This, to me, is creating an urban living room for the Twin Cities, and it’s been a really fun journey for me,” Wall said.

The Market hosts several events and can often be a meeting place for businesses. The Market hosts a HIIT class every Saturday while every Sunday is trivia night.

Every Wednesday for the rest of March, the Market will host a comedy show.

Whether it’s family night and the kids are tagging along or you’re bringing a group of your college friends for a night out, the Market is a welcoming place that has something to satisfy everyone’s taste buds.  The Market at Malcolm Yards 501 30th Ave. SE, Minneapolis www.malcolmyards.market

There's no wrong reason to get your COVID-19 booster shot.

"To protect my immune compromised family members."

"So COVID doesn't interfere with my work."

"To help prevent the spread of COVID in my community."

"To lessen my chances of getting long COVID."

Learn where to get boosted at vaccines.gov.

LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

25

OUR SCENE | SPRING DINE & DRINK

“Deep Friendship”

People Who Want To Be Welcomed in Saint Anthony Might Consider Taking a Dive

BY TERRANCE GRIEP

The place forebodes: A gap-toothed, neon sign casts its sticky, erratic half-light over the eroded parking lot. What lay beyond, what can’t be seen is scary…almost as scary as what can be seen. Crinkled, paper goblins ride the chilly wind across the cratered sidewalk. They billow past silent motorcycles which list before the curb like sinking ships.

The front door’s hinges complain about each admittance in the same rusty voice. Inside, glowing pendants dangle from the ceiling, flimsy stalactites. An acrid wreath of acrid smoke connect the white boards which herald barely-legible specials. A grainy, stale cologne permeates the vapor as brown bottles appear, disappear, and reappear like unwhacked whacka-mole moles.

Words—blurted, flirted, mumbled, jumbled, snorted, and shouted–overlap like raindrop ripples in a dirty pond. A sharp >clack!< from the furthest corner stabs the garbled cacophony, followed by the clackety-clack-clack of billiards sent with a velvet rumble in every emerald direction. Around the table, around the place, tattered denim and worn leather appear in equal measure. The place’s vibe is as sure as an unspoken threat: “strangers beware.”

Photo by Mike Hnida

26 LAVENDER APRIL 4-17, 2024

The popular stereotype of a so-called dive bar has remained the same for generations…but Saint Anthony’s Andrew Bauman intends to redefine the concept. “Some imagine a dive bar as a dirty, run-down place where you get three-dollar Hamm’s and greasy, tasteless food,” Andrew Bauman notes, “but ’dive’ is an attitude.”

Attitude, in fact, is key. “To me, a dive bar is a bar where you feel at home, all the regulars are your friends, almost an extension of your family,” Bauman supposes. “A place where you can laugh, cry, swear, and tell bad jokes. A place with things to do like karaoke, meat raffle, and bingo. A place you come to just because you love the staff.”

After Bauman’s own sustained, strenuous, and multi-faceted efforts, that definition has been fully realized. The Dive Sports Bar and Grill’s website elaborates on its inventor’s priorities: “We are a simple dive bar designed for a friendly neighborhood. We are here to help everyone celebrate all the small and large happenings that life offers. Whether you’re celebrating a team win, a new job, or the fact that it’s Monday, we’re here for you!”

Six nights a week, that here-for-you-ness takes the form of bar-wide events. Further, to satisfy patrons’ competitive urges, a game room puts

the “Sports” in the establishment’s name, providing darts, pinball, a Big Buck Hunter video game, and even beer pong. One component that rarely figures into the popular definition of a dive bar will before long come to the fore. Promises the website, “Late Night Happy hour apps are coming soon.”

Before he could redefine dive bars, though, Bauman had to endure the travail of defining himself. “Growing up, I never knew what I wanted to do with my life,” Bauman remembers. “So instead of going to college, I chose to take a job in a restaurant, and that was where my love of the service industry started.”

That start was the beginning of a long and beautiful friendship.

“Over the years, I would work several different jobs from corporate restaurants to night clubs, to hole-in-the-wall bars,” Bauman recounts. “I had finally found something I loved–making people happy.” That discovery bequeathed Bauman with a laser-like focus.

“From that point on, owning a bar was my end goal,” Bauman affirms. “But, I didn’t want to just own any bar, I wanted to own a bar where everyone was welcomed.”

Establishing such an establishment meant finding a place where the would-be welcomer would himself be welcomed. “The city of Saint Anthony has been great,” Bauman says. “All the people that work for the city and those on the city council have been amazing to work with.” This greatness was present from the start, according to the Dive Sports and Grill’s website: “We opened to a ferocious outpouring of support in the late spring of 2023.”

The reinforcement came in forms more practical than a framed medal and hearty handshake. “The outpouring of support from the community has been overwhelming at times,” Bauman notes.

“Not just from customers, but from other local business owners. It is amazing to be able to work with so many in the industry.”

Bauman’s Bauman-centric definition of “dive bar” contradicts the older definition in ways big and small. “I have worked with sponsoring the high school sports program and have been to several different games,” the owner affirms. “The people in Saint Anthony have been welcoming, and the area is really the perfect place to have a bar like mine.”

That sense of welcome is to be had inside the bar, as well as outside of it, according to Bauman’s definition. “The Dive Sports Bar and Grill is a safe space for all individuals and will treat all people with respect,” he assures. “Everyone is welcome here, and we will strive to give them the ultimate experience.”

Bauman’s dive bar diverts from the traditional dive bar in yet another way. “We have events daily including karaoke. trivia, meat raffle, and bingo,” Bauman assures. “Our food is Dive Bar style food made with care at a reasonable price. We have a full bar, including [non-alcoholic] options and THC beverages.”

But, in the end, the popular definition of a dive bar and Bauman’s definition of a dive bar do have one critical factor in common. Proclaims the owner of the Dive Sports Bar and Grill, “The fact that we do three-dollar Hamm’s during Happy Hour is definitely a plus!”  The Dive Sports Bar and Grill 3701 Stinson Blvd., St. Anthony (612) 208-1603 www.thedivesbag.com

Reproductive Medicine and Infertility Associates

Family Building in the LGBTQ Community

Learn More About Our Services at www.rmia.com LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

27

OUR LIVES | ASK ELISE

Dear Elise, Lesbian abuse is a scary and underrepresented topic in our community. I would appreciate it if you could find an expert to speak on this topic so that we can work to build stronger community prevention systems.

Sincerely, Daughter of Sappho (she/her)

Let’s Talk About an Underrepresented Topic – Lesbian Abuse

BY ELISE MAREN

Ask Elise is an advice column meant for suggestions regarding LGBTQ+ community member dilemmas of any kind. If I am not qualified to answer your question (regarding issues for transgender individuals, people of color, etcetera), I will ask someone who is qualified and cite them. Your question is equally important and may help another community member. If you have a question, please submit it to elise.m.maren@gmail.com listing your pronouns and pseudonym if desired. If you need someone to talk to for more urgent or serious matters, please consider using the following hotlines: The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender National Hotline: (888) 843-4564 Trans Lifeline: (877) 565-8860: Trans Lifeline is a trans-led organization that connects trans people to the community, support, and resources they need to survive and thrive.

TRIGGER WARNING: This community member’s question has to do with emotional/physical/sexual abuse and other sensitive topics. Although I interview experts, my response should not take the place of working individually with an expert if you or someone you love is experiencing abuse or mental health issues. Please use one of the below hotlines if you or a loved one is experiencing abuse and needs urgent attention.

RAINN hotline (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) 1-800-656-4673 Local or regional resources are available in most counties.

Here is information about Serenity’s survivor support group: Our group is for survivors of intimate partner abuse who identify as LGBTQIA+. This group is open to anyone 18+ at any point in their healing journey, and meets weekly on Tuesday nights from 6-7:30p CST via Zoom, and is not limited to WI or MN. Email serenityh@turningpoint-wi. org for more information, and to get added to the email list.

Photo courtesy of BigStock/New Africa

28 LAVENDER APRIL 4-17, 2024

Dear Daughter of Sappho, I had the honor to interview Serenity (she/ her), the Legal Services Coordinator for a community based intimate partner violence survivors’ services agency. She has been involved in abuse advocacy and prevention work for almost a decade starting as a volunteer as a first-year college student. She has worked with anti-violence advocates at the regional or state level and currently works with the St. Croix Valley Sexual Assault Response Team. Serenity eloquently provided me with information and resources while noting that program budgets are getting cut at the federal level. For those doing the work to support and care for others as they heal in various ways, Serenity recommends the book Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others by Laura Van Dernoot Lipsky and Connie Burk. Serenity is a survivor herself and leads an international support group for LGBTQIA+ survivors. Information on how to join is in the introduction to the article. For those looking to learn about lesbian abuse, my friend who is a survivor recommends the masterfully written book In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado.

Serenity began our interview by talking about the relationship between emotional/psychological abuse and physical abuse. A community member asked about “love bombing”, which is where someone, usually at the start of a relationship, shows an unusual amount of affection. Serenity noted that the term was coined by two cults about fifty years ago and has now become a common term in interpersonal relationships. Love bombing is the process of constantly throwing affection at an individual. This leads the person to get their guard down and gets them used to that affection.

It can desensitize them to physical contact leading to violence in some cases. When the abuser starts withholding that affection, the love bombing has primed a person’s brain to wonder, “Why am I not getting this? Something must have changed or I did something wrong.” At that point, withholding affection is a manipulation tactic to get someone to do something in order to get back that feeling of affection. Now, lesbians can be very affectionate. Serenity and I both know this from our own friend groups and communities. Love bombing should be identified on an individual basis, and Serenity advises people to trust their gut instinct when it comes to whether an affection pattern is abnormal or concerning. Serenity says despite how abusers try to change someone’s perception of reality, there is no way around that hardwired survival instinct and uneasiness.

OUR AFFAIRS | BOOKS

Serenity also spoke about the Duluth Model or Power and Control Wheel which readers can easily find online, but please note that some versions are outdated and assume a cis, heteronormative relationship structure.

The wheel displays behaviors whether that be financial, emotional, psychological, parental, employment and several other types of abuse.

The end result of those behaviors is the outer circle: physical or sexual violence. Over a long enough timeline, every abusive relationship will reach that outer circle. Some people get there faster than others and some people never get there because they are able to leave the relationship before it reaches that point.

At the center of all those behaviors is a need for power and control, which is the predominant theory right now for why abusers exhibit them. It could be pathological or it could be a response to trauma, but that need is the one thing all abusers share.

Next, Serenity spoke about why it takes an average of seven attempts for people to fully leave their abusers. She says there are hours long presentations on the psychology and neurobiology of this, but the summary is that it is a matter of cognitive dissonance.

The reality is that people often love or care for their abusers, and it is hard to rectify that with the reality that the loved one has been abusive. Sometimes trying to solve that dilemma is more painful than living the reality of abuse.

Many people are trapped whether that be financially or in terms of disability or loss of community. It is an intersectional issue. Lots of abusers are popular figures in their communities. Survivors wonder what the abuser will tell people if they leave.

Why is lesbian abuse an underrepresented topic? Serenity doesn’t think that is entirely the fault of straight society. Lots of LGBTQIA+ communities have shifted away from radical values and towards assimilation politics in recent decades. With that shift toward “We’re just like you. We’ve got a house and a white picket fence and all those things just like you,” to be palatable to straight society came this push to hide our faults. We are not a righteous monolith. Exposing the violence lesbians and bisexual femmes perpetuate against each other, sometimes rooted in previous abuse from straight men, could give straight society a reason to knock us down. Therefore, we avoid it. This is one of many reasons. Thankfully, lesbians have legal rights in the state of Minnesota to seek protection. Reach out to Serenity’s organization if you need information about your rights.

Lastly, another community member reached out about what to do when the abuser is neurodivergent. Our upcoming Pride in Pictures issue will contain an Ask Elise on this topic specifically, including an interview with a lesbian abuse survivor who volunteered to talk about neurodivergence in her testimony. There we will further explore community resilience.

Sincerely, Elise 

Books

BY E.B BOATNER

Mortal Secrets: Freud, Vienna, and the Discovery of The Modern Mind

The Lost Book of Bonn

Tallis, a clinical psychologist is doubly qualified to undertake a portrayal of Sigmund Freud, a central figure during the years of Vienna’s Golden Age. Knowledgeable concerning Freud’s work, Tallis is also well-versed in that heady, vanishing pre-WWI Vienna through his Liebermann Papers, seven mysteries concerning a young Jewish protegé of Dr. Freud set in that same exquisitely lush–sometimes deadly­–locale. Thus doubly-equipped, Tallis’s accessible prose delivers a vibrant portrait of Freud; his unique mind in a unique but vanishing time. Neither glorifying nor vilifying his subject, Tallis describes a Freud seeking to create something akin to a “unified field” of the mind; whose “integrative thinking” makes him a “prophet” for our times, whose acknowledged personal defects are “irrelevant with respect to his intellectual legacy.”

Frankfurt, Germany, 1946. Librarian Emmy Clarke is sent by the Library of Congress to assist the Monument Men sort and catalogue literal tons of valuable manuscripts and books looted by the Nazis. She’s unable to resist and pockets a Rilke poetry volume dedicated to “My dearest Annelise…” determining to track down its owner. Through different time segments–1937-8, 1946, and Emmy’s present, she and the reader are drawn back into the lives of Annelise and sister Christina, Eitan, who dedicated the book to his “brave Edelweiss Pirate, the brave protesting women of Rose Street during the war itself. Cruelty and courage, fidelity and betrayal, love and forgiveness are interwoven as successfully as Labuskes did in her earlier and equally compelling, The Librarian of Burned Books.

Reykjavík: A Crime Story

The Other Lola

Based on a real-life cold case, author Jóhannsen is a noted translator of Agatha Christie and co-author Jakobsdóttir Iceland’s prime minister. In 1956, fourteen-year-old Lára, a modest and well-mannered only child, took a summer position working at a couple’s summer home on the island of Videy, just off the coast of Reykjavík. She leaves suddenly–almost rudely–and is never seen again. The search for resolution threads through several generations; one detective from the start searches in vain, then the story picks up again in 1986, during the celebrations of Reykjavík’s 200th anniversary.

Amid the celebratory crowds and a 200-meter cake, the case is pursued again by a young journalist, but the same dark forces block his path. Then…fictionally, there’s resolution. In reality–still cold.

The sequel to Jones’s highly recommended Missing Clarissa introducing teen sleuths Cam and Blair. Following their near-fatal outcome then, they’ve foresworn detecting, but are now beseeched by Mattie Brosillard, a freshman at Oreville High, where they’re seniors, to find her sister. Lola, who’d whispered, “I’ll never leave you behind here when I go, Mats”–but did. Five years ago, and now returned. But, says Mattie, she’s not the real Lola and will Cam and Blair help find her?

Easier, perhaps, if this Lola didn’t look exactly like the old one. If their brother and their parents didn’t accept her as the Lola. Burned by the aftermath of their podcasts during the Mellissa caper, they initially shout, “No!” but Mattie, limpet-like, pushes on to gain “Yes.” 

Frank Tallis St. Martin’s Press $31

Ragnar Jóhannsen and Katrín Jakobsdóttir Minotaur $28

Brianna Labuskes William Morrow $18.99

Ripley Jones Wednesday Books (YA) $25

LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

29

OUR HOMES | OUR RIDES

A Crosstrek Into The Wilderness

BY RANDY STERN

You love Subaru. It is worth repeating that it is the favorite brand of automobile in the LGBTQ+ community. Simply because they recognize how much we love their vehicles.

That is why we’re part of their Love Promise.

Within our community, we have a strong population of those who live an active lifestyle.

Some of us love the outdoors – very, very much. We want vehicles that are made for those lifestyles.

Two years ago, we reviewed the Subaru Forester Wilderness as part of the brand’s efforts to fill the need for us to take their vehicles further away from the highway. The results were great. It also helped to increase Forester sales last year with this addition to their lineup.

Last year, we reviewed the new 2024 Subaru Crosstrek. We came away extremely pleased with how it took the spirit of the popular Forester and Outback onto much smaller footprint.

We argued that if you did not need the space of the larger two sales leading models, the Crosstrek is the right vehicle for you.

Photos by Randy Stern

30 LAVENDER APRIL 4-17, 2024

It seemed inevitable that these two rising badges in the Subaru lineup would come together. The idea of a Wilderness version of the Crosstrek just seems so perfect for us. A concentrated space with a smaller footprint to go even further away from the highway and into tighter spaces.

We were so happy to welcome the 2024 Subaru Crosstrek Wilderness into our fold for a brief spell. And, we loved every minute behind the wheel of it.

How does Subaru transform their compact hatchback crossover SUV into an off-road ready machine?

It starts with a Crosstrek equipped with the larger and more powerful 2.5-liter “Boxer” fourcylinder engine. This engine is already found on the Sport and Limited trim models. This driveline also comes with a continuously variable transmission and Subaru’s Symmetrical all-wheel drive system.

Then, they went to work on making it more rugged and compliant for off-highway use.

Underneath its cladded skin is an upgraded

suspension with longer springs and shock absorbers. This increased the ground clearance by 0.6 inches to accommodate the longer suspension travel. A set of allterrain tires mounted on black-painted 17-inch wheels increase traction on many conditions and surfaces.

The next step is to enhance the all-wheel drive system. On the large infotainment touchscreen, you can set the X-MODE system to one of three modes: Normal, Snow/ Dirt and Deep Snow/Mud. You also have a Low Speed/Low Ratio Gradient Control for managing steep hills. Combined, this system enables the Crosstrek Wilderness to take further afield without complaint.

That large 11.6-inch infotainment touchscreen is part of an interior package that wears the Wilderness badge and its accompanying copper trim. You see this badge embossed on the front headrests, popping up on the digital screen on the instrument cluster, and on the rubber floor mats. The seats are upholstered in StarTex, a simulated material that is designed for easy washing after a day of dirt roads and mud.

Of course, the Crosstrek Wilderness’ exterior provides more clues as to its rugged demeanor. There is the requisite body cladding that is very aggressive around the lower part of the body. The Crosstrek’s updated front end wears a more aggressive grille that appears subtle against a front clip designed for an improved angle of approach. Out back is an aggressive splitter area and bumper cladding that offers a better angle of departure.

The final touches to the exterior of the Crosstrek Wilderness include a matte black hood decal, copper-colored trim – including large side Crosstrek badges – and

Lavender Media is seeking to add a Twin Cities based full time Account Executive to our sales team. We are looking for an outgoing,organized, self-driven & motivated professional with excellent phone, writing and presentation skills.

Candidates should enjoy working directly with clients who are interested in growing their business through Lavender advertising and event sponsorships. Candidates must be local.

Includes base pay + commission and an employee benefits package that includes group health, dental, life insurance and LTD. Applicants should have experience with Mac software environment, Excel, Word, social media platforms & database software such as Filemaker Pro. They should exhibit an elevated level of organization, attention to detail, the ability to work as part of a team, effective communication,self direction, enjoys working with new people and has a natural drive to grow.

Please send your cover letter and resume to Stephen Rocheford, President & CEO. stephen.rocheford@lavendermagazine.com

Quality Installation. Enduring Performance.

Let Our Roofing Experts Be Your Guide

952.206.6775

Les Jones Roofing | 941 W 80th St, Bloomington | Minnesota 55420 | lesjonesroofing.com

Continued on page 34 LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

31

COMMUNITY CONNECTION Community Connection brings visibility to local LGBTQ-friendly non-profit organizations.

To reserve your listing in Community Connection, email advertising@lavendermagazine. com.

ANIMAL RESCUE

Second Chance Animal Rescue

Dedicated to rescuing, fostering, caring for, and adopting out dogs and cats into forever homes.

P.O. Box 10533 White Bear Lake, MN 55110 (651) 771-5662 www.secondchancerescue.org

BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS

Quorum

Minnesota's LGBTQ+ and Allied Chamber of Commerce working to build, connect, and strengthen for a diverse business community.

2446 University Ave. W., Ste 112 St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 460-8153 www.twincitiesquorum.com

CASINOS

Mystic Lake Casino Hotel

Nonstop gaming excitement with slots, blackjack, bingo and more plus distinctive bars and restaurants.

2400 Mystic Lake Blvd.

Prior Lake, MN 55372 (800) 262-7799 www.mysticlake.com

ENVIRONMENT

The Nature Conservancy

TNC is an environmental nonprofit working to create a world where people and nature thrive.

1101 W. River Pkwy., Ste. 200 Minneapolis, MN 55415-1291 (612) 331-0700 minnesota@tnc.org www.nature.org/minnesota

EVENT VENUES

Landmark Center

A classic venue, with a grand cortile and beautiful courtrooms, accommodates celebrations of all sizes.

75 W. 5th St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 292-3228 www.landmarkcenter.org

GRANTMAKERS/FUNDERS PFund Foundation

PFund is the LGBTQ+ community foundation that provides grants to students and grants to non-profits.

PO Box 3640 Minneapolis, MN 55403 612-870-1806 www.pfundfoundation.org

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Keane Sense of Rhythm

Celebrate your true self with Tap dance!

1st week free, Join us now!

2161 University Avenue W., Ste. 117 St. Paul, MN. 55114 (612) 251-4744 info@tapcompany.org www.tapcompany.org

NAMI Minnesota

(National Alliance on Mental Illness) Providing free classes and peer support groups for people affected by mental illnesses.

1919 University Ave. W., Ste. 400 St. Paul, MN 55104 (651) 645-2948 www.namimn.org

Rainbow Health Minnesota

Providing comprehensive health services for LGBTIA+ people, those living with HIV & folks from underserved communities facing healthcare barriers.

701 S. 4th Ave. #1500 Minneapolis, MN 55415 General: (612) 341-2060, MN AIDSLine: (612) 373-2437 info@rainbowhealth.org www.rainbowhealth.org

LIBRARIES

Quatrefoil Library

Your LGBTQ+ library and community center. Free membership, events, and e-books/audiobooks. Check us out!

1220 E. Lake St. Minneapolis, MN 55407 (612) 729-2543 www.qlibrary.org

MEDIA & COMMUNICATIONS

Radio K

Radio K is the award-winning studentrun radio station of the University of Minnesota.

330 21st. Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55455 (612) 625-3500 www.radiok.org

MUSEUM

Minnesota Historical Society

Create your own adventure at MNHS historic sites and museums around Minnesota. mnhs.org

Walker Art Center

Showcasing the fresh, innovative art of today and tomorrow through exhibitions, performances, and film screenings.

725 Vineland Pl. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 375-7600 www.walkerart.org

PERFORMING ARTS

Chanhassen Dinner Theaters

Aliveness Project

The nation’s largest professional dinner theater and Minnesota’s own entertainment destination.

501 W. 78th St. Chanhassen, MN 55317 (952) 934-1525 www.ChanhassenDT.com

Family Tree Clinic

Children’s Theatre Company excites the imagination with world-class familyfriendly theatre for kids, teens, and adults.

2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55404 (612) 874-0400 www.childrenstheatre.org

Community Center for individuals living with HIV/AIDS – on-site meals, food shelf, and supportive service.

3808 Nicollet Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55102 (612) 824-LIFE (5433) www.aliveness.org

We're a sliding fee sexual health clinic and education center, now in Minneapolis.

1919 Nicollet Ave. Minneapolis MN 55403 (612) 473-0800 www.familytreeclinic.org

32 LAVENDER APRIL 4-17, 2024

Children’s Theatre Company

Guthrie Theater

Open to the public year-round, the Guthrie produces classic and contemporary plays on three stages.

818 S. 2nd St. Minneapolis, MN 55415 (612) 377-2224 www.guthrietheater.org

Lyric Arts Main Street Stage

Theater with character. Comedies, musicals, & dramas in a professional, intimate setting where all are welcomed.

420 E. Main St. Anoka, MN 55303 (763) 422-1838 info@lyricarts.org www.lyricarts.org

Minnesota Opera

World-class opera draws you into a synthesis of beauty; breathtaking music, stunning costumes & extraordinary sets.

Performances at the Ordway Music Theater - 345 Washington St., St. Paul, MN 55102 (612) 333-6669 www.mnopera.org

Minnesota Orchestra

St. Mark’s Episcopal Cathedral

An inclusive and affirming community transforming lives through God’s love.

519 Oak Grove St. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 870-7800 www.ourcathedral.org

Westminster Presbyterian Church

An open and affirming congregation, welcoming persons of all sexual orientations, gender expressions and identities.

1200 Marquette Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 332-3421 www.westminstermpls.org

SENIOR LIVING Friends & Co

Fostering meaningful connections for older adults for 50+ years. Offering quick drop-in chat line, phone & visiting companionship services.

2550 University Ave. W., Ste. 260-S St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 721-1400 www.friendsco.org

Senior Community Services

Led by Music Director Designate Thomas Søndergård, the Minnesota Orchestra, one of America’s leading symphony orchestras.

1111 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 371-5656, (800) 292-4141 www.minnesotaorchestra.org

Providing non-medical services that meet the changing needs of older adults & support their caregivers.

10201 Wayzata Blvd., Ste. 335 Minnetonka, MN 55305 (952) 541-1019 www.seniorcommunity.org/lav

Ordway Center for the Performing Arts

Lutheran Social Service of MN

Leading performing arts center with two stages presenting Broadway musicals, concerts & educational programs that enrich diverse audiences.

345 Washington St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 224-4222 info@ordway.org www.ordway.org

Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus

An award-winning chorus building community through music and offers entertainment worth coming out for!

1430 W. 28th St., Ste. B Minneapolis, MN 55408 (612) 339-SONG (7664) chorus@tcgmc.org www.tcgmc.org

RELIGIOUS & SPIRITUAL

All God’s Children Metropolitan Community Church

A welcoming, inclusive, safe place to explore and discover God’s love for ALL God’s children.

3100 Park Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55407 (612) 824-2673 www.agcmcc.org

Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church

Everyone is welcome at Hennepin Church! Vibrant Worship. Authentic Community. Bold Outreach.

511 Groveland Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 871-5303 www.hennepinchurch.org

Plymouth Congregational Church

Many Hearts, One Song; Many Hands, One Church. Find us on Facebook and Twitter.

1900 Nicollet Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 871-7400 www.plymouth.org

SOCIAL SERVICES

Serving all Minnesotans with personcentered services that promote full and abundant lives. lssmn.org | 612-642-5990 | 800-582-5260 Adoption & Foster Care | welcome@chlss.org Behavioral Health | 612-879-5320 Host Homes | hosthomes@lssmn.org Supported Decision-Making | 888-806-6844 Therapeutic Foster Care | 612-751-9395

TRAVEL DESTINATIONS Discover St. Louis Park

Minnesota’s Sweet Spot! Visit us for exceptional dining, attractions, shopping, hotels and event space.

1660 Hwy 100 S., Ste. 501 St. Louis Park, MN 55416 (952) 426-4047 www.DiscoverStLouisPark.com

Discover Stillwater

Get away to Stillwater for delicious dining, fun shops, and unique nightlife in this charming rivertown! info@DiscoverStillwater.com www.DiscoverStillwater.com

YOUTH

The Bridge for Youth

Emergency shelter, crisis intervention, and resources for youth currently or at risk of experiencing homelessness.

1111 W. 22nd St. Minneapolis, MN 55405 (612) 377-8800 or text (612) 400-7233 www.bridgeforyouth.org

THE NETWORK Locally Owned & Operated Since 1950

Estimates 7am-4:30pm

Josh Kelly

Bill’s Gun Shop & range

LGBTQIA+ Realtor®

612.219.2211 JoshKelly@edinarealty.com JoshKelly.edinarealty.com

More Guns - More Lanes

MORE FUN!

billsgs.com

LAVENDERMAGAZINE.COM

33

OUR HOMES | OUR RIDES

a full complement of Wilderness badges. These serve as a reminder that your Subaru can go to most places a so-called true off-roader will.

The question that came up during our time in the 2024 Subaru Crosstrek Wilderness was whether there was a difference between driving this and a mere Crosstrek. The short answer is “yes.”

For starters, the larger Boxer engine offers up 182 horsepower and 178 pound-feet of torque. While numbers might not matter to consumers, it is real world performance that does. Acceleration is very good and passing maneuvers were done with ease. The CVT “shifts” accordingly, which helps. Highway cruising and off-highway driving were also very manageable.

In terms of fuel economy, we averaged 24.4 MPG. When you drive a “lifted” vehicle with a longer spring/shock suspension, you expect the

34 LAVENDER APRIL 4-17, 2024

ride quality to be very soft. Actually, the Crosstrek Wilderness rode somewhere between soft and firm – just “right” for most driving situations. It made for a good experience when driving between cities.

Handling consisted of good cornering with nominal roll and lean. You had good overall maneuverability in evasive situations in the Crosstrek Wilderness.

The size of the Crosstrek Wilderness helped in creating a small turning radius with light effort. You expect the latter because of its mission as an off-road ready vehicle. On-center feel was fine, however we wished for more weight to keep the vehicle within the lane.

Brake pedal feel was solid, which resulted in very good stops in normal and panic situations.

Subaru now offers five trim levels for the 2024 Crosstrek starting from $25,195. Our top-

of-the-line Wilderness tester arrived with an upgrade package including a Harman Kardon 10-speaker premium audio system. The sticker price came to $35,560.

Is this the Subaru Crosstrek you always wanted? If it is, then take stock in what it offers.

Consider its small footprint, lifted suspension and ride height, and the built-in ability to get away from the highway into the woods towards the lake. All of this comes ready-made directly from the factory.

In addition to Subaru’s Love Promise to us, the company was one of the national sponsors of Dining Out For Life.

That is why we love Subarus. And, we really love our Crosstreks. The 2024 Crosstrek Wilderness is simply the next level of love. 

life. at your summit.

At the core of our care lies the profound understanding that you are on a journey to reach

IMMEDIATE CARE AT OUR

your full potential, to realize your goals and

ORTHOPEDIC URGENT CARE

dreams, to reach your summit——no matter what

LOCATIONS THROUGHOUT THE METRO

that summit may be. It is this understanding that drives us to provide the highest standard of excellence through every injury or aching joint and muscle that may stand in your way.