Learning for Life
Photo: Matt Burch
Volume 30, Issue 788 • August 7-20, 2025
EDITORIAL
Managing Editor Noah Mitchell 612-461-8723
Editorial Assistant Linda Raines 612-436-4660
Editor Emeritus Ethan Boatner
Contributors Lakey Bridge, E.B. Boatner, Natasha DeLion, Alyssa Homeier, Terrance Griep, Shane Lueck, Elise Maren, Jen Peeples-Hampton, Linda Raines, Aspen Rush, Gregg Shapiro, Randy Stern, Susan Swavely, Natalie Trimble, Sommer Wagen, Carla Waldemar, Todd P. Walker, Emma Walytka, Spencer White
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Founders George Holdgrafer, Stephen Rocheford
Inspiration Steven W. Anderson (1954-1994), Timothy J. Lee (1968-2002), Russell Berg (1957-2005), Kathryn Rocheford (1914-2006), Jonathan Halverson (1974-2010), Adam Houghtaling (1984-2012), Walker Pearce (1946-2013), Tim Campbell (1939-2015), John Townsend (1959-2019), George Holdgrafer (1951-2024), Julie Dafydd (1951-2025)
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BY NOAH MITCHELL
Welcome to Lavender’s first Learning for Life issue!
The brainstorming process for this theme began with the idea of a back-to-school issue. However, we didn’t want to limit ourselves to high school and college-related stories when learning is a lifelong pursuit.
Learning for Life
The story that exemplifies that broader focus of this issue the most is Sommer Wagen’s feature on Queer ASL. Learning American Sign Language can change your life, as well as the lives of those around you, whether you learn it in a high school classroom or over a Zoom call as an adult.
Sommer brilliantly illustrates the impact that learning ASL can have, as well as the joy of doing so with people with similar identities and life experiences to you, in their story. While this is just one example, it demonstrates the impact that continued learning, whether it be about languages, history, literature, business,
science, technology or anything else, can have on individuals and communities.
We also have two stories in this issue about scholarship programs for LGBTQ+ students. While I may have spent the past couple of paragraphs extolling the virtues of learning beyond the classroom, I did not do so to imply that I’m too school for cool or that primary, secondary and higher education aren’t incredibly impor-
tant and valuable experiences. Providing them to students who might not be able to otherwise access them transforms monetary resources into priceless, life-changing opportunities.
Speaking of which, this issue’s cover feature, while it may not take place in a classroom, was one such opportunity. It was an honor and a privilege to have a Lavender writer, Aspen Rush, get the chance to interview His Royal Highness Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil and His Highness Prince deAndre, Duke of Hanumanteshwar while they were in Minnesota as part of their U.S. Pride Month Human Rights Advocacy Tour.
I’m excited to share their story, as well everything else in this issue, with you all. If I’ve done my job, you might even learn something.
Photo courtesy of BigStock/AndreyPopov
BY E.B. BOATNER
Those Long, Long Summers
The recent flash flood in Texas consumed over a hundred lives, including 27 Camp Mystic campers, two counselors and owner Richard “Dick” Eastland, striving to save his charges from the Guadalupe River. It brought anguish to a nation and my own camp memories.
Four summers in the early 1950s, Dad drove me up from Connecticut to Winthrop, Maine, and Penko, an all-girls camp located on the shores of sparkling Lake Cobbosseecontee. One could elect a four- or eight-week stay, and I was always inscribed for the full eight.
I never thought of Penko as elite — I’m not sure what would have entailed in those days, though two months’ room and board required appreciable investment. Each camper was allotted a wooden fruit crate (with a fabric curtain) for our toiletries and small items. Your suitcase or trunk was tucked under the metal frame bed for clothing.
We weren’t forbidden iPhones or other digital devices; in 1953, they were just a flicker in the comics or 25-cent science-fiction paperbacks I’d buy on local drugstore racks.
I don’t recall anyone owning one of the colorful trunks viewed recently in post-flood news photographs. I don’t believe retailers yet targeted little girls for such things in 1953. Mine, like my sleeping bag, was Army-surplus drab since
my Dad bought many items and machinery from the recently-ended WWII surplus for use on the campus at the school where he was principal. (I later learned to drive on an army Jeep.)
I took a lot of photos, not instantly viewed, rarely in color, nor with today’s sharpness; just my teeny Kodak Brownie. I still have them. Those news photos of the Texas girls’ bright little trunks lined up, spattered with mud and debris, are heartbreaking. Never to be packed on their chattering, laughing, last camp day, crying as we did, as they promised to stay friends forever with new pals.
My main love at Penko was horseback riding, something I was seldom able to enjoy at home. There were the usual activities, swimming, canoeing, archery, softball games, along with arts and crafts, braiding colorful lanyards, glazing and firing ceramics. As an only child, it was a treat to be around other kids, but I always brought books for comfort. My particular school required summer reading (“Jane Eyre” and “Anna Karenina” were two, plus my own Ray Bradburys and Robert Sheckleys).
Each of the cabins’ residents, housed by age, were taken into town for movies (“Marty,” uniquely, among Ma and Pa Kettle fare) and once a summer, a trip to Boothbay Harbor for a boat ride, with souvenir collecting (I still wear
one silver skull ring) and ate boiled lobsters (then 25 cents each). I was always willing to help out the squeamish who “wouldn’t eat bugs.”
There were little cliques and tiffs, but they were few and far between and didn’t tarnish the many bright spots in a summer away from home. Older campers put out (with adult supervision) a purple-ditto Penko Post every week (I kept those as well). I can still smell that ink…
Three-quarters of a century later, the Camp Mystic girls were experiencing an equivalent joy in a vastly different world. Many of their mothers had attended in their youth and knew the value of learning, gaining agency, bonding with friends.
That area of Texas rivers is historically known for flash floods, but humans are drawn to water, seeking rivers and lakes or ocean beachfronts for respite. Accept or deny, weather patterns have changed globally since the 1950s. While old recreational locations may now be unsafe and bear rethinking, I fervently hope that the spirit found in summer camping for youngsters will carry on.
My summers at Penko remain embedded within me. I’ve kept my papers, photos, my souvenir ring — my memories — over all these years. Given the opportunity, would I live those summers over again? In a heartbeat!
BY LINDA RAINES
Emma Walytka
Where did you grow up, and what was that like?
I grew up in Coon Rapids, Minn., and it was lovely. I lived right next to a water park and was surrounded by a handful of walking trails, bike paths and frequent water balloon fights with my dad.
Describe your perfect day.
My perfect day is in my grandmother’s (Hi, Grandma Carol!) backyard. She is watering her flowers while I sit in the hammock and ask her questions about the life she lived before me. We laugh over the surplus of squirrels, drink ice-cold lemonade and wonder how we got so lucky to live on this Earth together, at the same time.
How long have you been a writer, and how’d you get into it?
Ever since I was in elementary school, my form of apology was through hand-written letters to my parents (which usually scored me a pass on getting grounded), and ever since, it has become my most prized means of communication. At times, I struggle with saying the “right” things aloud, and writing has helped me put more meaning and depth into my words.
What are you reading/watching/listening to these days?
I am reading my Taylor Swift “The Eras Tour” book (thank you, roomies!)
I am re-watching my favorite movie, Beautiful Boy.
I am listening to Bob Dylan and Lana Del Rey.
Who or what inspires you?
My dad and my mom inspire me each and every day.
My dad is someone who is so authentically himself, selfless and extremely supportive. I truly think everyone needs a Ben in their life. He shows me how beautiful the mundane is and always sees so much depth in things — he is a true sentimentalist.
My mother is so strong and bold in who she is, and has empowered me to live boldly. She is so caring, loving and has great dance moves. The way she expresses herself through fashion makes me feel confident in my own style!
Favorite qualities in another person?
Empathetic, kind, selfless and non-judgmental, accepting.
Least favorite?
People who aren’t one to listen to others
Where’s your happy place?
Disney World with my dad.
What is your motto?
I had to choose my favorite movie quote that I find inspiration from: “We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of 30 and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything — what a waste!” — Mr. Perlman, “Call Me by Your Name”
Photo courtesy of Emma Walytka
BY LINDA RAINES
Although She Has Exited Stage Left, Julie Dafydd’s
Star Will Shine Brightly For Generations To Come
The Twin Cities lost a bright light on July 12 with the unexpected passing of the inimitable Julie Dafydd. A tireless transgender activist and advocate, a witty writer and one of Lavender’s first columnists, a shining presence on the theatre stage and a force to be reckoned with when it came to her fierce efforts in her unwavering support for the community, Dafydd proudly wore many unabashedly glittery crowns in her life, and her loss will be felt deeply for years to come. She was a vibrant luminary who didn’t just talk the talk; she walked the walk.
Dafydd was born on November 17, 1951, and grew up in Soderville, Minn. As a young person who was discovering their true self, Dafydd knew that she was trans, but did not realize then that there was even a word for it. She just knew that she was different and that she was often the brunt of bullying from other students.
According to longtime friend and owner and artistic director of Candid Theater Company, Justin Kirkeberg, Dafydd tended to be extremely private about her childhood, but did bond with him one night while meeting about her play, “Soderville: Excavation of a Life,” and the two “talked about how our families disowned us at a young age and how theater became the home and family we both missed.”
In a 2022 interview, she commented that, in her late teens, she took a Greyhound bus to Minneapolis and subsequently found her niche after watching what was then billed as a “transsexual stripper” act at the Gay 90s. While she had no intention of being a stripper, the idea of drag performance intrigued her, and Dafydd began attending the drag balls at hotels such as the Nicollet and the Leamington, which are long gone now. They did, however, set her on her course for a life on stage that would touch a great many people over the coming decades.
Dafydd was also well-known as one of Lavender’s longtime columnists who wrote the incredibly witty and funny “Consider the Source” column that always held court at the end of each issue. She, Steve Lenius and John Townsend were the three charter writers of the magazine, right from its first issue, which was published on June 9, 1995.
Lenius remarks that he remembered Lavender’s founding editor, George Holdgrafer, telling him once that “Julie wrote all of her columns in longhand, and for every issue’s column, he would have to pick up the column from her.” However, Lenius says that, based on Julie’s popularity and writing skill, Holdgrafer almost certainly “felt the extra work was worth it.”
Lenius also tells of the time that Lavender’s then-editor, Tim Lee, would produce a feature entitled “Lavender Lampoon” around April Fool’s Day, and Lenius and Dafydd decided to trade places by writing parodies of each other’s columns.
“Julie wrote a ‘Leather Life’ parody column called ‘Weathered Life: Tooting, er, Touting a Contest,’ which was illustrated with her looking somewhat weathered (befitting the name of the column), wearing a white t-shirt and leather biker’s cap, and smoking a cigarette,” Lenius says. “I returned the favor by writing a ‘Consider the Source’ parody called ‘Ponder the Origin.’ Oddly enough, right next to my column was Julie, appearing in an ad for the Spectacle Shoppe.”
Dafydd was also extremely active in the community on both national and local levels. Another longtime friend, Bubba Thurn, comments that she was at the first Pride protest, one of the first to undergo transgender surgery and that she personally went to all of the businesses along Hennepin Avenue to advocate for donations in order the purchase the Pride flags that line the street each Pride season.
She was an active and engaged member of the Imperial Court of Minnesota, serving as the Empress of Reign III with Chuck Madsen as the Emperor and honored as “Queen Mother for Life.” She also served as the Imperial Council Vice-Chair for the Court.
Dafydd’s true love, however, was theater. She was associated with Candid Theater Company from 2012-2012, as well as serving as a board member for the company. Her first show with Candid Theater was “Parallel Lives,” a project which Kirkeberg remarks “showcased Julie’s comedic sensibility and the hidden dramatic
depth she could provide.” She continued to partner with Kirkeberg and Candid for eight more shows throughout her years there.
One of the jewels in Dafydd’s theatrical crown was her one-woman show, “I’ll Eat You Last,” which was co-produced with LUSH and Candid Theater Company and directed by Kirkeberg. Delivering her monologue with brassy charm, she brought legendary Hollywood super-agent and power broker Sue Mengers to life for audiences for four weekends after Pride in 2014. Kirkeberg said that, during the run of the show, Dafydd was plagued with severe back problems and was having to use a walker.
Still, according to Kirkeberg, “for the 97 minutes Julie was on stage, she owned that room and that audience; every night she was Sue Mengers, fierce and funny and full of spit and vinegar. She was truly in her element on any stage.”
Kirkeberg also spoke about Dafydd’s performance on a production entitled “Quilt: A Musical Celebration” in New York City for the 50th anniversary of Pride. Twenty actors from across the US had gathered to rehearse and perform the material. According to Kirkeberg, it had not been performed in over 20 years and needed some updating in regards to both music and content, with only nine days to re-orchestrate the 17 songs, rehearse and perform the finished product on time.
Unbeknownst to Kirkeberg, Dafydd had been unable to afford airfare to New York City, so she hopped a Greyhound bus for the 43-hour-long trip, not wanting to be left out of a project that she felt so strongly about.
“She arrived at Judson Memorial Church in NYC the night we hung the largest single collection of AIDS memorial quilts in one location since they had been displayed at the National Mall in 1987,” Kirkeberg notes. “Julie entered the church and was overwhelmed, and proceeded to regale
the cast with stories of life pre-Stonewall and during the AIDS epidemic.”
During her career, the Metropolitan State University alum was honored by the Kennedy Center American College Theater Festival (KCACTF) when her autobiographical play, “Soderville: Excavation of a Life,” named after her hometown and in which she plays both the Dafydd of the past and the Dafydd of the present, was selected as one of the seven plays that were chosen for the 47th Region V Festival held in January of 2015.
Julie Dafydd’s impact will continue to be felt through the lives she touched, the conversations she sparked and the wisdom she imparted as she left her stamp on the LGBTQ+ community of the Twin Cities. She was a legend who blazed a trail for many in the trans community, easing the path for those who followed behind.
In Dafydd’s own words and in the memorable way that she signed off on each of her columns in Lavender, “Bye for now. Kiss, kiss.”
There will be a Celebration of Life for Julie Dafydd held at The Saloon from 2-4 p.m. on Saturday, August 9. A light luncheon will be served as family and friends come together to share memories and stories of Dafydd.
Photos courtesy of Bubba Thurn
Detroit
There’s a distinct pull to Detroit. Built on industry and powered by music, it’s a city that wears its grit like a badge of honor. But beneath the steel and soul lies something softer: a place that opens its arms to creatives, dreamers and outsiders. For LGBTQ+ travelers, Detroit isn’t just rising — it’s already resonating, thanks to its authenticity and inclusive spirit.
My stay began at the AC Hotel Detroit at the Bonstelle, where old meets new in the most seamless way. Adjacent to a historic theater in Midtown, the hotel blends sleek design with rich history. By night, the AC Lounge turns into a chic yet relaxed spot where LGBTQ+ travelers can enjoy expertly mixed cocktails and light bites. The location couldn’t be better — close to Detroit’s top theaters and Little Caesars Arena, it’s the perfect launchpad for your Motor City adventure. The rooms at the AC Hotel Detroit are spacious and modern. My corner room came complete with luxurious linens and a beautiful view of the sunset.
Detroit’s queer roots run deep. From underground ballroom scenes in the 1980s to today’s thriving grassroots movements, the city’s LGBTQ+ identity is woven into its culture. Unlike cities with one defined “gayborhood,” queer life in Detroit is everywhere. You’ll find it on the dance floor at Menjo’s Complex — a historic venue where Grace Jones once graced the stage — or at Gigi’s, a community staple known for its electric drag shows.
Each June, Detroit turns up the volume for Motor City Pride. Held at Hart Plaza, it’s a vibrant celebration packed with music, performances and community connection. But the celebration doesn’t stop there. LGBTQ+ organizations keep the spirit alive year-round with art shows, advocacy panels and public events that welcome locals and visitors alike.
Organizations like the Ruth Ellis Center have been pillars of support for decades. Named after a Black lesbian trailblazer, the center offers criti-
cal services for LGBTQ+ youth, including housing, health care and mental health support. Its newest addition, the 44,000-square-foot Clairmount Center, reflects the city’s ongoing investment in its queer community. Meanwhile, the Detroit Regional LGBT Chamber of Commerce uplifts LGBTQ+ professionals through mentorship, networking and resources. Their commitment to economic empowerment proves that inclusivity and entrepreneurship go hand in hand.
Detroit skyline, white pizza at Empire Kitchen & Cocktails, Henry Ford Museum of American
Innovation, AC
Hotel lounge, Anna Scripps Whitcomb Conservatory. Photos by Joey Amato
Just a few blocks away from the hotel is Detroit Shipping Company — a lively collective of eateries, art spaces and hangouts. Whether you’re there for the beer garden, open mic nights or Bollywood High Tea, it’s a spot that celebrates Detroit’s diversity in every sense. I loved the community feel of the space, which is welcoming from the moment you step through the door. They even organize a monthly event where local DJs can take turns spinning their favorite music.
Detroit’s story isn’t only told through its nightlife. One powerful stop was the Henry Ford Museum of American Innovation in nearby Dearborn. It’s more than a showcase of machines — it’s a museum of progress. Standing before the bus where Rosa Parks made history was a humbling reminder that Detroit is at the crossroads of civil rights, past and present. The museum also highlights other modes of transportation and even features an old locomotive, which guests can climb into. It’s like stepping back in history.
You’ll feel that same spirit at Michigan Central Station. Once an abandoned relic, it’s been transformed into a gleaming center for tech and innovation, thanks to Ford’s vision and investment. Today, it’s a stunning symbol of Detroit’s rebirth — and yes, a top-tier photo op.
Book lovers, prepare to be amazed at John K. King Used & Rare Books. Spanning four floors and over a million titles, this former glove factory is a labyrinth of stories. From well-worn paperbacks to rare first editions, it’s the kind of place where you could lose an entire afternoon — and love every minute of it. I purchased an entire Britannica collection of books for under $300. I probably would have ended up spending more time there, but it was a beautiful day outside, so I wanted to take in the sun.
Nature and culture collide on the Detroit Riverwalk, a stunning 5 1/2mile path along the water. It’s one of the most scenic stretches in the city, perfect for biking, strolling or simply soaking in skyline views and public art.
For a quick bite, head to Jose’s Tacos — a humble Midtown eatery where the flavors speak for themselves. Fresh tortillas, savory fajitas and warm hospitality make it a local favorite and a great spot to connect with Detroit’s diverse food scene. If you are hungry for something sweet, head over to Astoria Pastry Shop in Greektown. You will want to try everything there.
Walk off lunch with a peaceful afternoon stroll at Belle Isle Park. This 982-acre island oasis is packed with hidden gems like the Anna Scripps Whitcomb Conservatory and the Belle Isle Aquarium — both steeped in history and beauty. Although the Aquarium was closed that afternoon, I did spend time wandering around the Conservatory as well as the grounds of Belle Isle.
And of course, no visit is complete without a stop at the Detroit Institute of Arts. With more than 65,000 works and a long-standing commitment to showcasing diverse voices, the DIA stands as one of the nation’s most progressive art museums. From exhibitions exploring gender and identity to pieces by renowned LGBTQ+ artists, it’s a reflection of Detroit’s cultural heartbeat. I’ve been to many museums around the country, but the DIA exhibits one of the most extensive collections of historic works I’ve ever seen.
Dinner at Empire Kitchen & Cocktails closed out my day on a high note. The restaurant staff was stylish, the atmosphere intimate and the food was packed with flavor. I ordered the white pizza, which is something I don’t usually go for, but was blown away. The garlic béchamel, spinach, sausage and fresh mozzarella were balanced to perfection. Enjoying a Detroit-style pizza was high on my list of experiences.
Detroit doesn’t need to impress — it just shows up, bold and unapologetic. It’s the kind of place where you can be 100% you, no filter, no fuss. For LGBTQ+ travelers, that vibe isn’t just cool — it’s downright empowering.
Enjoy the journey!
Grab Your Tickets, Popcorn and Tissues For ‘Black and Proud: The Musical’
To be seen is one thing, but to be honored in representation is another. “Black and Proud: The Musical” is the remedy of relief that has come just in time. We had the pleasure to sit down with Jasmine Mincey, writer and director of “Black and Proud: The Musical”, and she shared some gems that will be forever imprinted throughout the LGBTQ+ community.
“I wanted to tell the story that highlights Black Queer characters,” Mincey shares. “Because a lot of times they are just side characters or a comedic relief, like the Gay best friend. I wanted to make a play that kind of puts them in the spotlight as stars. As Black and Queer stars.”
She expressed that ever since she was 12, she’s been writing poems, songs and stories. The motivation for this production was a seed that had been nurtured and has since bloomed. Theater is one of the classical art forms of expression, and historically a means to educate, inform and even pursue. These are formally known as categories of rhetorical appeals. Mincey’s intention behind “Black and Proud: The Musical” is to carefully and truthfully segment the vulnerabilities that the LGBTQ+ community shares, by casting characters that share the identities of the letters represented in L-G-B-T-Q.
There are different avenues that the musical approaches that are extremely necessary. For instance, the main setting is The Lavender Lounge, a community center led by the main character, Divinity. This space is portrayed as a safe space where many of the characters go to meet up and commune. Mincey shared that The Lavender Lounge is symbolic of
Photos courtesy of Jasmine Mincey
chosen family when sometimes relatives aren’t always accepting or understanding. This highlights the importance of support and community.
“For everybody’s voice to be represented. I wanted trans characters, I wanted gay characters, I wanted lesbian characters, I wanted bisexual characters, even some nonbinary characters,” Mincey expresses. “This is so that everyone can see themselves in this play. That there was somebody that related to them and who they are.”
“Black and Proud: The Musical” aims to be an example of the diversity in identity within the LGBTQ+ community. This production is a love letter of affirmation to the queer community. It is a highlight of acknowledgment to the Black community. But most importantly, it is the warmth and encouragement to just be you for both communities.
“I want to close the gap by putting Black queer people in spaces of expression,” Mincey states.
These spaces of expression set the tone for future generations to come. For our shoulders to be the ones grounded and steady in order to be proudly stood upon.
Our history as queer people finds solace in pure expression, and this invokes the memory of our truths, and to be that very source of comfort and protection for our counterparts while being bold examples of bravery in a challenged world.
Lastly, Mincey closes saying, “It’s about truly healing, visibility and the power of telling our stories out loud and on our own terms.”
If you would like to be a part of the groundbreaking production, Mincey and her team are currently doing an open call for cast and crew in the Twin Cities.
Mincey’s Press Release:
Roles are available for actors of all genders and expressions especially BIPOC and LGBTQ+ individuals.
The team is also recruiting for: Cast members (all experience levels), Drag performers, Stage Manager, Choreographer, Production Assistant.
Rehearsals will begin late 2025 with a premiere date set for May 2026 in Minneapolis. At this stage, Black and Proud is operating on a profit-share model, with all future funds raised distributed evenly among the cast and crew.
The project is being developed with support from OutFront Minnesota and RECLAIM, and aims to uplift community, creativity, and visibility.
For the Love of Lea: An Interview with Lea DeLaria
Sometimes, I can’t believe my good fortune. When I look at the list of musicians I’ve interviewed over the years, it makes me love my job even more than I already do. Over the course of those years, I’ve even had the honor of interviewing some of these performers more than once. For example, I first interviewed Lea DeLaria in 2001 and then again in 2005. Nineteen years later, after so much has happened in Lea’s career, including her portrayal of “Big Boo” in the acclaimed Netflix series “Orange Is The New Black,” I couldn’t wait to speak with her again.
Gregg Shapiro: Lea, your cover of Neil Young’s “Philadelphia,” from your “Double Standards” album, still brings me to tears. Why did you choose to cover that song?
Lea DeLaria: The concept of the record “Double Standards” was to take college rock/alternative rock tunes that were standards and do them like jazz standards. Being a child of the ‘70s, ‘80s and ‘90s, I obviously love that genre of music. There were so many songs on the list! We started out with a list of like 75 songs. We whittled that down to 20 and then went, “Wait a minute, what about these songs?” It was kind of crazy. When we got to the final list, we looked at it, and said, “Who’s missing?” Bowie was missing, and so was Neil Young. We also realized we didn’t have a soulful ballad. The producer and I both said, “We should do Neil Young’s “Philadelphia.” Because everybody always goes to The Boss’ “Philadelphia,” but I think this “Philadelphia” is way better.
GS: I completely agree! I’m glad you mentioned Bowie because your “House of David” album was released before the passing of David Bowie. Do you know if he was aware of it or heard it?
LD: Oh my God, yes! He’s the reason the album got made. He died six months after it was released. Warner Jazz, the label I was on, went under, so I had to crowdfund it. I did a GoFundMe. When you go to people’s crowdfunding things, they’re like “Give me $20, and I’ll give you a signed something.” Mine was like, “Give me $100, and I’ll fly to your town, and we’ll have lunch in McDonald’s.” Stuff like that. It’s me, right, it’s hilarious. We were doing just fine. I think we asked for $32K, something like that, which is reasonable for a record of this size. We were moving along, everything was fine. Then, one morning, I woke up, and I looked at it, and we had surpassed … we had gotten all these donations during the night and had gone way past the $32K that I asked for; it happened overnight. I was about to go on my social media and thank everyone for donating, say how happy we are that we’re gonna make this record kind of thing, and my phone rang, it was my girlfriend at the time. She said, “Lea, David Bowie is tweeting at you.” And basically, I guess David Bowie told all his people to donate to this record, and that I was someone that should be doing this, basically. Then, in even bigger support, when we released the album, we released the cover exclusively on David Bowie’s website. It really did help the sales. This record sold really well. He was in complete support. I did a residency at a little jazz club here in town, midnight shows of the David Bowie album, and his entire band came during the course of that residency. We were in the process of trying to get David there to see it, which he apparently really wanted to do, and of course, he died. That’s how much he was living his life until the end.
GS: Janis Siegel of Manhattan Transfer fame joined you on your rendition of “Suffragette City.” In the recording, you even commented about sitting back and listening to her sing.
LD: Like I’ve been doing my whole life.
GS: What made her the right duet partner for you?
LD: Janis reached out to me through social media about two years before that. She said that she had heard my cover of Blondie’s “Call Me” because Gil Goldstein, who arranged “Call Me,” and is someone who I’ve worked with very closely, had played it for Janis. She reached out to me and asked me if I would join her on stage because she and Gil had done an arrangement of Sondheim’s “The Story of Lucy and Jessie,” and wanted to know if I would do this duet with her. I said I’d be happy, and then Janis and I became very good friends. In fact, I’m an officiant, and I married Janis’ son to his wife. We’ve become very tight. Janis and I have done many duets together and we both are mean-a– scat singers, so she was the obvious choice. In fact, on her next record, which I think is coming out in the spring, we did a duet of “Down For Double.” Then I’m recording my next record called “F— Love,” and she’s going to do another duet with me.
GS: I’m so glad you mentioned your next record because I know you don’t need to be reminded, but it’s been almost 10 years since you released “House of David.”
LD: It’s very difficult in the music industry right now. I’m just gonna be honest; I’ve also been really f—ing busy. I do a lot of things and I’ve been doing all of them. It takes time to get music and arrangements together. I worked on that Bowie record probably for three years. Those arrangements don’t just fly out of my a–. [laughs] My go-to partner of choice, Nette Mason, and I do these arrangements together. We work really f—ing harder on them. And then I tweak them and do them in concert and tweak them some more, and then we go into the studio. It just took a while for us to come up with the concept. The concept is f— love, and it’s all lovegone-wrong songs. It’s getting the typical DeLaria treatment. We’ve got everything from a Betty Hutton song all the way to Dua Lipa. There’s a lot in this record. We’ve even got The Chicks! We’ve got this gospel version of “Goodbye Earl.” It takes time to get this together. But every time we put a date in to record, I get a movie or I get a play [laughs], and it gets pushed. This has been going on for about a year and a half, which is actually good because we’d still like to tweak these arrangements a little bit. Hopefully, we will be recording at the beginning of next year, maybe even sooner.
GS: Lastly, you also said something about a movie…
LD: Oh, my God there’s so much! There’s currently a movie that’s on Amazon Prime it’s called “Holy Irresistible.” It’s a funny little independent film. I’m hilarious. I play a woman dying of cancer. [laughs] I’m the executive producer of a short called “Possum.” I’ve made four movies so far this year. I’ve got to make another one, and I’m shooting a television pilot at the end of October. I’m in this movie called “Tow,” which has two Academy Award winners in it: Octavia Spencer and Ariana DeBose, and Rose Byrne, too. When I say I do a lot of things, I do a lot of things.
GS: Do you think you might have another book in you?
LD: I’ve been contacted. I think what’s gonna happen is this book is going to be a memoir. I think somebody needs to set the historical record straight, because there are a lot of there’s a lot of misinformation about our movement, especially what I would call my side of that movement which is more of the dykes and f——s and queers, oh my! Rather than the mainstream, middle-class, assimilationist side of that movement. That’s what I’m thinking about. But I’ve got to be honest. I’ve got a play/comedy special in my head that I think is gonna come first. I’ve got a television series that I’ve been pitching that I think is gonna come first. I’m not not writing; I’m just writing other things.
Different Drummer: An Interview with Audrey Johnson of La Luz
When the members of Seattle-based all-female band La Luz declare themselves to be a surf rock band, you better believe them. Between the Beach Boys-esque harmonies, Shana Cleveland’s Dick Dale-inspired guitar work and Audrey Johnson’s beach blanket beats on the drums, you’ll be wanting to hang 10 on the next perfect wave. Johnson, who identifies as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, joined the band in time for the recording of 2024’s “News of the Universe” (Sub Pop). La Luz has been on tour throughout the fall, and Audrey was kind enough to make time for an interview in advance of La Luz’s Minneapolis show at First Avenue on Nov. 21.
Gregg Shapiro: Audrey, at what age did you start drumming?
Audrey Johnson: I started drumming around 14. But I started playing drum kit, because I was doing percussion and things like that in (school) band when I was around 16.
GS: You were in your school band?
AJ: Yeah, I was a big nerd. I was in (the) marching band and jazz band [laughs].
GS: When did you know the drums were the right instrument for you?
AJ: Actually, I originally started on saxophone as an 11-year-old. I come from a musical family, and one of my uncles plays saxophone, so I always wanted to play. Once I started playing it, I was like, “This is cool, but it isn’t giving me the thing that I need.” So, I switched to drums after I watched some interview with No Doubt. I really liked the drummer (Adrian Young) in his Speedo. I was like, “This is the energy I’m feeling [laughs].”
GS: Do you have other favorite drummers? Maybe Karen Carpenter or Gina Schock?
AJ: Yes. That was always my secret, especially when I got into punk. My guilty pleasure was that I loved the Carpenters. I loved Karen Carpenter. I grew up with my family listening to Sheila E; I really love her! And Cindy Blackman, she used to play for Lenny Kravitz and plays with Santana. Those were big influences of mine.
GS: Were you in other bands before joining La Luz?
AJ: Oh, yes, lots [laughs]! One of the main ones — I’m from Fresno, Calif. — and I played with a band called Fatty Cakes and the Puff Pastries.
GS: Great name!
AJ: [Laughs] Yeah, it’s a lot of food-related things, but also kind of an activism band, so it’s something that I feel like Fresno really needed, and I’m glad that they let me join their band. I used to play for a group called Needy Evie, which is an all-girl band. I played for a woman named Teri Gender Bender. She’s incredible. I was a big fan of hers before I was ever asked to join her band. Just like dreams coming true playing with Teri Gender Bender and La Luz.
GS: How did you come to be in La Luz?
AJ: I was playing a show with Fatty Cakes and the Puff Pastries in Visalia, Calif., and the band Shannon and The Clams was the headliner; we were opening for them. That was the first time that I met Shannon and The Clams. Will, their keyboardist, came up to me after the show, and he said, “My partner Shana (Cleveland)’s band is looking for a drummer. Would you be interested in auditioning?” Then I found out the band was La Luz, and I was like, “Well, hell yeah I would [laughs]!” It pretty much went from there.
GS: 2024’s “News of the Universe” is the first album you recorded as a member of La Luz — what was that experience like for you?
AJ: It was a lot of fun. I guess the way that they would usually record
Photo by Drew Cook
was even different from this experience. We all hung out with each other for a week at Shana, the singer’s, house. We started jamming together and decided we were going to start these songs from scratch, which they had not written like that previously. It was interesting; a lot of different energies going into it. Different visions from the get-go. There were some songs that were a little bit pre-written, but a lot of them we developed together. It was really quick, actually. We went in with the intention of making an EP, and we ended up coming up with all these cool songs and sent them to the label. They were like, “Cool, you guys can make more songs, and we can make it a full-length (album). We got back in the studio another time and basically did the same thing; we just hung out with each other for a few days and wrote and recorded the songs pretty quickly.
GS: Finally, would you mind saying a few words about your experiences as a queer musician?
AJ: Being a queer musician and being a woman musician is always wonderful to me, but people will say weird things sometimes. Trying to give compliments, but it comes out in strange ways. It’s all good and fun. But honestly, even growing up in Fresno, which is kind of a conservative place for California, I feel very lucky to have been surrounded by other queers and other people that are freaks also, like my wife (Janell Bowen, with whom Audrey celebrated her 16th anniversary), and being a weirdo also. I’ve grown up loving places like Oakland and the Bay Area. As a child, my parents would take my siblings and me on day trips to San Francisco. I knew, as a little kid, “OK, this is cool! There are some weirdos here, and I feel like I would fit in perfectly [laughs].”
A Royal Bond: Gay Princes Celebrate a Decade of Love and Activism
On June 26, at the café of the Open Book community arts center, it was business as usual. Students bent over stacks of books, and the espresso machine hissed, churning out specialty lattes. The ordinariness of the day gave no indication that Indian royalty was just upstairs.
His Royal Highness Crown Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil of Rajpipla and His Highness Prince deAndre, Duke of Hanumanteshwar, were on the fourth stop of their book tour, celebrating 10 years of their union. Affectionately nicknamed the gay royals, the pair coauthored a memoir titled “A Royal Commitment: Ten Years of Marriage and Activism.” The book documents a decade of love and advocacy with heartfelt honesty. Reflecting on moments of both triumph and disappointment, the royal co-authors recount their journey in writing and conversation as they continue their tour.
Lavender had the unique opportunity to attend their book talk and have an intimate sit-down with the world-renowned activists, talking about love, authenticity and activism.
To celebrate their anniversary, the couple put pen to paper, documenting their most treasured and terrifying experiences over the past decade. Their book narrates their story from their first interaction to the present.
Manvendra is the world’s first openly gay prince and the 39th direct descendant of the historic Gohil dynasty of Rajpipla, a lineage dating back to the 12th century. While Indian dynasties no longer occupy a governmental role, royalty remains firmly rooted in cultural tradition. The former rulers of princely estates remain powerful figures in the community, and most royal families continue to wield significant influence and wealth. Today’s royals are cultural icons, carrying forward their legacies through philanthropy and advocacy.
“Being a member of a royal family comes with a lot of responsibilities,” Manvendra explains.
“Even though we don’t have the power to rule now, we are still respected by our people, so it’s very important that we work for the welfare of the people.”
Like other Indian royals, Manvendra advocates for his people, but because of his sexuality, the crown prince had to forge his own path, making
Photos courtesy of HRH Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil & HH Prince DeAndre
history as the first openly gay royal. His coming out began after a brief, failed marriage to a woman in 2002. A mental breakdown revealed his sexuality to his parents, who forced him into medical and religious conversion therapy. The conversion therapy failed, but his parents insisted that his sexuality remain secret.
In 2007, Manvendra made the courageous decision to come out to a journalist, challenging deep-seated societal norms. The early 2000s were a turning point, and his announcement sparked global controversy, igniting a heated moral debate about sexuality and tradition. The prince was disowned by his family, received violent death threats and an effigy of his likeness was burned in his kingdom.
Those first months after his coming out were especially isolating. He received little support, even from members within the queer community. Nevertheless, the prince endured and approached the backlash with grace and compassion. By the time Manvendra became the royal on everybody’s lips, he understood something about hatred, having quietly grappled with his sexuality for so long.
“When you come from a culture where you have always been told you’re doing something wrong,” Manvendra explains, “we end up with that guilt feeling, and that guilt feeling gives rise to hatred… People who hate themselves are the ones who spread hatred.”
DeAndre agrees, adding, “They don’t want you to live your truth that they [themselves] are not able to live.”
Manvendra’s lived experience allowed him to understand the hostility he was met with, and he also knew how to dissipate it: self-love. Having overcome the inner turmoil himself, he changed hearts and minds with storytelling.
“If you start loving yourself, then you will be able to feel that love is needed,” Manvendra says.
The future once looked bleak, the homophobia showing no signs of letting up, until a surprising ally invited the prince to appear on a talk show: Oprah Winfrey. The segment turned the tide in the prince’s favor, inspiring others to reconsider their homophobic positions. His time on “Oprah” was the first of many pop culture appearances. He appeared on “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” and starred in “Undercover Princes,” his visibility making strides to integrate LGBTQ+ individuals into mainstream culture.
Manvendra’s advocacy work is not limited to pop culture. He founded the Lakshya Trust, a charity benefiting those affected by HIV/AIDS and LGBTQ+ individuals. The prince has become a highly sought-after public speaker and has been an outspoken champion for women’s rights, animal rights and disability justice.
DeAndre comes from very different circumstances than Manvendra. The American-born royal spent much of his life directing his creative energies into fashion, working at Christian Dior.
It was Manvendra’s vibrant fashion that initially caught deAndre’s eye. Connecting online in the early days of social media, they became fast friends. Two years after their first virtual encounter, the American fashionista and the Indian prince met in person in Mumbai. The connection was powerful, their friendship blossoming into something of a magical romance.
In the years following Manvendra’s historic coming out, his family learned to embrace his sexuality. With the blessing of the royal family, deAndre and Manvendra were married in 2013.
The princes have spent the decade since their union dedicating their lives to advocating for marginalized groups all over the world.
“What’s really beautiful is that we’re in every part of every community… You cannot have any society that we are not present in some form,” deAndre says.
Their activism is guided by the “wisdom of love.” While their stories differ greatly, they are rooted in the same core values. The two are deeply spiritual and take time each day to connect with the soul. They remain grounded in their bond and the belief that the best way to meet hatred is with love — even if someone is not ready to receive it.
“We are all souls having the human experience,” both princes expressed.
“The great thing about love is that I don’t need your permission to give it to you,” deAndre says.
The couple attributes their resilience to meditation. By turning inwards and focusing on the soul, they tap into the infinite resource of self-love.
“You won’t have to be looking for love, you will know that you are the power of love and that source is enough for me to give to so many other people.”
Manvendra and deAndre are generous with their love, extending authentic affection to everyone they encounter, spreading the message of acceptance as far as they can reach — from LGBTQ+ rights groups in Russia to Quakers in Minnesota.
The tenderness with which they greet the world is well-known, but an intimate sit-down with the royal couple unveiled how that love takes shape within their relationship. People often ask how they sustain their relationship in the face of challenges.
Along with meditating together, it’s about caring for each other in mundane and simple ways.
They incorporate authentic expressions of love into their daily routine.
“It’s the small, small things which help you care for each other. That’s what life is about,” Manvendra says. “[deAndre] knows I like coffee, so he makes me the best coffee. Now I’ll be gone, and I’ll manage to make coffee, but not as good as him,” he says with a smile.
“I always tell people he decides what I have to wear and what I have to eat… so one part of my routine is taken care of.”
Their affection was palpable, evident in subtle touches and knowing glances.
The royal couple show no signs of slowing down, and their already impressive list of accolades continues to grow. They hope to continue sharing their lived experience to connect with others. The world still has a long way to go, and the princes hope that in telling their story, they can help propel the world toward positive change.
The co-authors hoped to conclude their memoir with triumphant news. The Indian Supreme Court was set to rule on same-sex marriage. In a devastating blow, the court unanimously voted to reject same-sex unions. Manvendra and deAndre’s marriage remains legally unrecognized, and deAndre will not be granted a spousal visa.
“It was painful but also revealing, and it told us how far we must go,” deAndre reflects.
“The memoir is a love letter to every queer, Indigenous and marginalized soul — that we are sacred and that we must keep going.”
More Than Money:
California is a state where one imagines it to be easier for students to come out; it’s an open environment, where the queer community is generally accepted.
Yet, 20% of LGBT students are staying in the closet until they’re financially secure, says Jeff Spitko, Senior Director of Integrated Funding at The San Diego Foundation.
The National Rainbow College Fund (NRCF) is the first program to offer scholarships to LGBTQ+ students, whether they are publicly out or not. Forty students in San Diego received scholarships amounting to $2,500 each during their 2024 pilot year. The program reached 140 students statewide in 2025 after receiving 540 applications from over 200 zip codes.
“I think for a lot of the scholarship programs out there, you have to be completely out and comfortable with your family knowing you’re getting a scholarship from the organization that’s granting this to you because you’re
Photos courtesy of Nicole Wegscheid
LGBTQ+,” Spitko says. “It can be really difficult to either come out and be comfortable with who you are, or having to get through acting and lying to your family and friends about who you love and who you are.”
Not only are there inequities in scholarship distribution, according to The Center for LGBTQ Economic Advancement & Research (CLEAR), nearly 32% of LGBTQ student borrowers in 2018 reported discrimination from a financial advisor or professional, highlighting disparities in loan approval toward the queer community.
The data proves it, and it’s undeniable that their straight counterparts are getting more financial aid, Spitko says.
On a federal level, many LGBTQ+ students are prevented from receiving aid, not due to academic shortcomings but rather because their families refuse to support them through the FAFSA process.
Without parental financial information, a student can’t complete the required sections of the application, and the form will not generate a Student Aid Index (SAI), which is a key metric used to calculate need-based aid, according to the National College Attainment Network.
Applicant privacy, equity and reach are all priorities of the NRCF, with the funds going either directly to the university or coming from San Diego Foundation and not necessarily NRCF, Spitko says. The program is applicable to all ages, whether they are planning to attend community colleges or vocational and trade schools, making it available beyond traditional four-year university applicants.
“When you are in a home where you feel like if your family finds out who you are or who you love, they will potentially walk away from you — that’s terrifying,” Spitko says. “Anything we can do on our power to be that sense of support as they grow into adulthood, or be a means of support later in life for individuals, means everything and more.”
Though still in its earlier stages, NRCF is already looking forward, hoping to expand its reach nationally and add ancillary services such as mental health counseling, peer counseling, career counseling and job placement services as students reach graduation, says Spitko.
“It’s critical for us to really be fully embedded if we want to run this program, which means understanding the world of the students we’re helping,” Spitko says. “It’s more than just writing a check and sending it off; it’s about being there for them when they need it.”
Spitko says the NRCF has worked with recipients from all paths of life, from students who were homeless or in foster care, to students who have been cut off from their families after coming out.
Beyond financial support, simply listening to the stories of applicants plays a large role in the foundation, whether it’s through periodic check-ins or following up on a response from one of the three essay questions in their application that touched them.
“What I love so much about this position and this program is that you are always inspired when you talk to these students and hear their story, their strength and their passion,” Spitko says. “That, to me, has just been so rewarding, and I feel honored and blessed to be able to work on this.”
Creating a More Accessible Queer Community with Queer ASL
The Vancouver, British Columbia-based organization has been teaching American Sign Language to queer and trans folks and their allies since 2011. Now fully online, Twin Cities learners can join in, too.
Zoée Montpetit describes growing up Deaf as feeling both hypervisible and invisible at all times.
“I was very visible as the only Deaf student, but at the same time invisible as basically nobody knew how to communicate with me,” they say.
While Montpetit says they’re comfortable communicating in written English, exploring the Victoria, British Columbia, queer community was difficult as a non-speaking Deaf person with no lip-reading abilities.
They needed a way to bridge the gap between them and their queer hearing friends, so in 2009, they started hosting meet-ups in their living room where they would teach their friends American Sign Language.
“We were able to ditch the paper and pen within months,” Montpetit says.
That club was the seed that would later bloom into Queer ASL.
“I learned how powerful it was to share space together,” Montpetit, now
Photos courtesy of Zoée Montpetit
44, says. “After moving to Vancouver, I decided that instead of setting up a casual club again, I would develop and teach branded classes and the rest is history.”
What sets Queer ASL apart from other ASL programs is its explicit centering of queer and trans learners and their allies. Not only are all Queer ASL teachers queer Deaf people; their curriculum is “a celebration of our lives as queers and trans people,” according to Montpetit.
Accessibility is Queer ASL’s modus operandi. Along with their general courses, which anyone can join, Queer ASL also offers classes for QTBIPOC learners taught by QTBIPOC Deaf teachers. There are also classes designed for people with disabilities that accommodate difficulties with eye contact, limb differences and so forth.
“I very strongly believe in the power of being in a space with folks like yourself,” Montpetit says. “Our general classes also focus on accommodating everyone’s access needs, but let’s be real, it’s always extra magical to share space with people like yourself.”
Nearly a decade after Queer ASL began in earnest, the COVID-19 pandemic arrived in Vancouver, halting the in-person classes that took place across the city. While it pushed classes online, Montpetit says it was for the best.
“Online classes are really cool because we can interact with people all around the world and it’s much more accessible for some people,” they say.
They say it also allowed them to implement a flipped classroom format, meaning learners watch lesson videos beforehand and can then focus more on reviewing, clarifying and practicing in class. Montpetit says it supports memory retention and helps learners stay engaged with class content throughout the week.
It also means interested learners in the Twin Cities can sign up, too.
Erin Mullen of Minneapolis is an incoming graduate student in speech language pathology at the University of Minnesota Duluth and took four semesters of ASL classes in undergrad. They say learning ASL broadened their perspective on the world and the possibilities of communication.
“You never know when you’ll interact with someone who is deaf or hard of hearing,” they say.
They share an anecdote about running into a man who signed while he spoke, saying that his face lit up when they started to sign back.
“Lipreading can be so exhausting, and he was just so excited that I could sign with him,” they say. “I would like to see a world where people can go about their day and not feel like they’re going to be misunderstood.”
Mullen says they’re very interested in Queer ASL as a queer person who wants to keep interacting with the deaf community.
“It sounds like a great organization,” they say.
Montpetit says the best part about teaching ASL is “seeing the moment where [learners] start believing in themselves and their ability to express themselves through ASL no matter how much of a beginner they are.”
Monpetit no longer teaches, instead focusing on overall operations and developing a massive new curriculum they hope to launch next year.
Queer ASL classes operate in cycles, with classes opening for registration five times a year, typically January, April, June, August and October.
Additionally, classes are offered at sliding scale pricing. Those who can’t afford the price range are placed on a waitlist with a chance of being placed for free if someone drops out.
“The world constantly punishes people living in poverty and I don’t want Queer ASL to be yet another thing that is inaccessible because of our cost,” Montpetit says.
At the same time, they say Queer ASL is constantly navigating how to balance accessibility with funding and paying its teachers fairly as a 100% Deaf-run small business.
So why should hearing queer folks learn ASL? Montpetit says the queer and Deaf experiences overlap more than some might think.
“Queer people often are born into families that are mostly straight and this is very much the same for deaf people who are born into families that are mostly hearing,” they say. “Queer and Deaf people have to navigate their, at times painful, experiences of growing up, figuring out their identities, and finding their place in the world. Over time, though, we all discover a community full of people like us and develop a fierce love for who we are.
“The more aware you become, the more you notice how queer events need to become more accessible so deaf queers will actually want to (and can) show up.”
Those interested can sign up for the Queer ASL mailing list on their website and follow them on Instagram and Facebook, @queerasl.
Zoée Monpetit responded to interview questions via email. Their answers have been edited for brevity and clarity.
Second First Chances
PFund Foundation Reminds Us That Money Changes Everything
It wouldn’t be inaccurate to say the whole thing started with death, but it kind’a would. It would be most accurate to say that the whole thing started with a reaction to death, a reaction (and deaths) that defined a community.
In 1987, the then-untreatable AIDS virus tore through the Twin Cities (and the rest of the world) like a cosmic buzzsaw, leaving truncated futures and shattered souls in its then-mystifying wake. Just as bad, de-partnered LGBTQ+ partners were frequently left out of end-of-life decisions, as well as inheritance claims, thanks to the lack of marriage’s protection.
In response, a self-described “collective of queer folk” rolled up their Izod knit sleeves and did something about it, creating an LGBTQ+ endowment that would be used to cover funeral expenses, along with other cheerless-but-necessary expenses forced upon those left behind. The collective carefully named itself the Philanthrofund Foundation. The non-gay-sounding name was non-gay-sounding by choice, by design, by necessity: an openly-gay grouping — the Financial Flamingos of Fandango, say — would have been stonewalled by the intrinsic homophobia of contemporary institutions at every turn.
And for a while, that worked: the Philanthrofund Foundation wrangled tough decisions that were legal as often as financial.
But once the AIDS Crisis was (somewhat) tamed by science, that “collective of queer folk” made itself sleeker, sharpening its name to PFund Foundation and sharpening its purpose to providing scholarships for queer students looking to sharpen their wits. Now the collective, based in the City of Lakes, describes itself as “a community-led foundation founded by and for the LGBTQ+ community.”
But that’s just scratching the surface of their purpose, according to Director of Advancement Kevin Kjonaas. He adds: “PFund Foundation is an amalgamation of queer philanthropists, volunteers, advocates, leaders, wealth generators, community builders, scholars, educators, and hundreds of scholarship alumni who have become record-setting elected officials, leaders in health care, notable business owners, and advocates [for] our community.”
These monies are as defined by what they prevent as much as by what they bestow.
“PFund scholarships help alleviate the financial stress related to a college education while also creating a supportive network of queer students from across the Upper Midwest,” Kjonaas elaborates.
A menagerie of financial stresses might take particular aim at queer students.
“LGBTQ+ people face a variety of hurdles when enrolling in post-secondary education,” Kjonaas says. “The most commonly cited difficulty in pursuing education among PFund scholars is financial. PFund Foundation’s Scholarship Fund reduces disparities in educational access and attainment for LGBTQ+ people seeking post secondary education of any type.”
A broader, more philosophical reason is simultaneously in play, one that echoes through the entire community.
“The primary purpose for investing in education and leadership is so LGBTQ+ people experience equal education outcomes and greater resources through access to high-quality, affordable, accessible and affirming education and professional development,” Kjonaas observes.
But money, as the old saying goes, doesn’t grow on trees.
“PFund Foundation receives its funding from a variety of sources to support its mission of building equity within LGBTQ+ communities across the Upper Midwest,” Kjonaas acknowledges. “An investment in education is an investment in power.”
The range of who can access that power is as generous as the concept itself.
“Our scholarship program engages with LGBTQ+ folks across Minnesota, Iowa, North Dakota, South Dakota, and Wisconsin through universities, high schools, nonprofit organizations, and business development groups to inform them about PFund Foundation’s resources, invite to become grant and application reviewers, and connect with queer communities across the state,” says Kjonaas.
Applications for such grants and scholarships — as well as donations are found on PFund Foundation’s home page.
What goes where is not considered lightly, however.
“As a community-led foundation, decision making regarding who we support is in the hands of volunteer reviewers,” Kjonaas reports. “PFund has benefited from the support and dedication from volunteers across the Upper Midwest that contributed their time and perspective to our scholarship application review process.”
PFund Foundation might have started as a reaction to community-defining death, but now it’s dedicated to life, and improvement of lives — of scholarship recipients, sure, but also of those whose lives will be improved by the improved lives of those recipients.
As PFund Foundation’s website exalts, “By making a donation to the upper Midwest LGBTQ+ community foundation, you are investing in the power of community philanthropy.”
pfundfoundation.org
‘Bad Idea’ is a Good Time:
An Interview with Gay Writer
Bruce Vilanch
When it comes to writing, prolific and hilarious gay scribe Bruce Vilanch has just about everybody else beat. His distinctive comedic style has earned him two Emmy Awards for the multiple Oscar spectacles he penned. He also has long-standing creative relationships with top-notch artists, including Bette Midler, for whom he has written reams of comedic material. In his second book, “It Seemed Like a Bad Idea at the Time” (Chicago Review Press, 2025), Vilanch shines a Klieg light on some of his more infamous efforts including TV fare such as “The Star Wars Holiday Special,” “The Paul Lynde Halloween Special,” “The Brady Bunch Hour,” as well as the movies “Can’t Stop The Music” and “The Ice Pirates,” demonstrating his ability to have a sense of humor even in the worst situations. Bruce was generous enough to make time for an interview mere days after the book’s publication.
Gregg Shapiro: Bruce, there’s a 25-year gap between your first book “Bruce!: My Adventures in the Skin Trade and Other Essays” and your new book “It Seemed Like a Bad Idea at the Time.” Why was now the time to write a new book?
Bruce Vilanch: During COVID, I found myself on a lot of lockdown podcasts with hosts who were born after I wrote all these shows but encountered them on the Internet. They all wanted to know how these curiosities happened. Who said yes? And did they escape jail on appeal? [laughs] I thought this was a new way to do a sort-of memoir.
GS: “It Seemed Like a Bad Idea at the Time” is full of vivid details. Were you a journal keeper, or was this all written from memory?
I do keep a journal, but a lot of the old ones were washed away in a flood. Seriously. So, some of the stuff is just from memory and my haunted dreams.
GS: Would it be fair to say that the book is also a Hollywood/show business history lesson? After all, there are footnotes.
I was afraid a younger audience wouldn’t get many of the references to things that happened forty years ago, but then I read Mary Rodgers’ memoir, which she died before she finished and was completed by Jesse Green, who added footnotes which are as entertaining as the book. So why not give it a twirl? It is a history of a certain kind of show biz, of sorts.
GS: Did you ever think you’d write a book with footnotes?
I never thought I’d write one with explicit sexual positions, but that may be the next one.
GS: Both of your books are nonfiction works. Do you think you might have a novel in you?
I would love to give it a go. Novelists tend to go away somewhere to a cabin where they are hobbled by their nurse and I’m not sure I’m that anti-social. I am a good collaborator, but I just have to carve out time to do a novel and nothing else. For the moment, I’m working on a play.
GS: Being a Chicago native, I appreciated that you referred to Kitty Sheehan. Was Kitty Sheehan’s a bar you frequented when you lived in Chicago?
I would drop in now and again. Kitty’s was a dress bar, as in shirt and tie. Clearly, I am not that type. Also, it appealed to the older crowd, and the younger crowd that was hoping to be “sponsored” by the older one, and I fell into neither demo — at the time. [laughs]
GS: You were the subject of the 1999 doc “Get Bruce!” and Allan Carr, whom you write about in the “Can’t Stop The Music” and “Oscar! Oscar” chapters, was the subject of the 2017 doc “The Fabulous Allan
Carr.” Is there anyone else that you wrote about in the book that you think would make for a good documentary subject?
Everybody is a good documentary subject. I think reality TV has revealed that dirty secret.
GS: Speaking of “Can’t Stop The Music,” the Village People were featured prominently in the movie. The current POTUS has an affinity for the Village People song “YMCA,” and Victor Willis, whom you also write about, claims that the song isn’t a gay tune. Do you have any thoughts about that?
Victor also probably thinks the world is flat and Justin Trudeau is Fidel Castro’s son. He’s a weird cat who I never really got to know. Now that he controls the Village People brand, he’s doing it his way, and it’s pretty funny/sad to the original fans who know exactly what the group was about.
GS: In the “Platinum” chapter, you wrote about the tryouts at The Kennedy Center. How do you feel about what’s taking place there now?
It’s tragic. Hopefully, it will recover in 2028, at which time the title “Country Music Capital of the World” will return to Nashville.
GS: You had the good fortune to work with two of the “Golden Girls” — Bea Arthur and Betty White — on separate occasions. The new Netflix sitcom “Mid-Century Modern” is said to be a gay “Golden Girls.” What do you think about that concept?
It’s “Golden Girls” meets “Will & Grace,” courtesy of Max Mutchnick and David Kohan, creators of the latter. I saw the last episode taped, and it was hilarious. The characters are recognizable types but written with a real humanity that goes beyond stereotypical bitchiness. Also, it was Linda Lavin’s last work and she is magnificent.
GS: In the “Oscar! Oscar!” chapter, you write about the notorious Snow White musical number. With that in mind, would you care to share your thoughts about the liveaction Disney “Snow White” movie?
Around town, they are calling it “Snow Woke,” and I’m not exactly sure what to make of that. But I will certainly go to see it before rendering a verdict, as unfashionable as that behavior seems to be.
GS: Are there any upcoming creative projects that you’d like to share with the readers?
If you’re in Australia in June, go see “Here You Come Again,” a musical using Dolly Parton’s music authorized by her. I co-wrote it with Tricia Paoluccio, who plays Dolly, and Gabriel Barre, our director. Funny, sweet and just off a very successful six-month tour of the UK. You’ll have a good time!
OUR AFFAIRS | BOOKS
BY GREGG SHAPIRO
Thanks for the Memories: Summer/Fall 2025 Queer Reading List
Thomas Mallon is the gay author of the novel “Fellow Travelers,” which was the basis for the acclaimed streaming series of the same name. “The Very Heart of It: New York Diaries, 19831994” (Knopf, 2025) is a gutsy move on Mallon’s part, sharing these diaries filled with roller coaster events and emotions, given the significance of the period in queer history. Most shocking takeaways: 1. Mallon’s politically conservative nature. 2. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
“A Comic Novel” is what award-winning lesbian illustrator and writer Alison Bechdel calls her wonderful new book “Spent” (Mariner, 2025). Autofiction is another appropriate description as the main character (who shares her name with the author), who lives with her wife Holly (aka Holly Rae Taylor, Bechdel’s wife and the colorist of “Spent”), struggles with a seemingly insurmountable existential crisis with humor and humanity.
Published a few months before his passing in June 2025, “The Loves of My Life: A Sex Memoir” (Bloomsbury, 2025) by Edmund White delivers on the promise of the book’s subtitle. A legendary figure in the realm of queer writers and culture, White was the author of multiple novels, biographies, memoirs and works of nonfiction. He bares all in “The Loves of My Life,” and the results are as erotic as they are entertaining. The chapter titled “Keith” is one such example.
A meticulously researched work of nonfiction, “American Scare: Florida’s Hidden Cold War on Black and Queer Lives” (Dutton, 2025) by Robert W. Fiesler, couldn’t possibly be more timely or pertinent. Reminding us that not only was Anita Bryant not the first Florida-based maniac to come for the LGBTQ community, but that in Florida, history has a horrible way of repeat-
ing. In the case of “American Scare,” it was the mid-20th century Johns Committee, led by hatemongering politician Charley Johns, who, along with his conservative cronies, was determined to stop any threats to the “southern way of life.” However, as Fiesler writes in the preface, “The history they tried to kill has survived.”
If there’s one thing on which many in the LGBTQ community can agree, we like to eat in restaurants, be it breakfast, brunch (which we may not have invented, but we perfected), lunch, supper/dinner or late-night noshing. In “Dining Out: First Dates, Defiant Nights, and Last Call Disco Fries at America’s Gay Restaurants” (Grand Central, 2025), Erik Piepenburg narrows his delicious focus on LGBTQ dining establishments, incorporating history and hunger satisfaction.
Before Erik Piepenburg wrote about gay restaurants, gay writer Jeremy Atherton Lin took us clubbing for the night in 2021’s “Gay Bar: Why We Went Out.” Lin’s new book, the memoir “Deep House: The Gayest Love Story Ever Told” (Little, Brown, 2025), described as “a rulebreaking, sweat-soaked, genre-busting” outlaw love story, begins in 1996 at the time of the passage of the Defense of Marriage Act, just as he’s fallen in love. Determined to beat the odds, the pair embarks on a global trek in search of a “city of refuge.”
Queer visual artist/writer/educator/curator Nayland Blake, who collaborated with queer writer Dennis Cooper on the 1993 book “Jerk,” is the subject of “My Studio Is a Dungeon Is the Studio” (Duke, 2025). Edited by Jarrett Earnest, the book is subtitled “Writing and Interviews, 1983-2024” and delves into Blake’s “explorations of kink and creativity, as well as on the making, teaching, and curating of art and queer culture.”
Community Connection brings visibility to local LGBTQ-friendly non-profit organizations. To reserve your listing in Community Connection, email advertising@lavendermagazine. com.
ANIMAL RESCUE
Second Chance Animal Rescue
Dedicated to rescuing, fostering, caring for, and adopting out dogs and cats into forever homes.
P.O. Box 10533 White Bear Lake, MN 55110 (651) 771-5662 www.secondchancerescue.org
BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS
Quorum
Minnesota's LGBTQ+ and Allied Chamber of Commerce working to build, connect, and strengthen for a diverse business community. 2446 University Ave. W., Ste 112 St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 460-8153 www.twincitiesquorum.com
ENVIRONMENT
The Nature Conservancy
TNC is an environmental nonprofit working to create a world where people and nature thrive. 1101 W. River Pkwy., Ste. 200 Minneapolis, MN 55415-1291 (612) 331-0700 minnesota@tnc.org www.nature.org/minnesota
EVENT VENUES
Landmark Center
A classic venue, with a grand cortile and beautiful courtrooms, accommodates celebrations of all sizes.
75 W. 5th St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 292-3228 www.landmarkcenter.org
GRANTMAKERS/FUNDERS
PFund Foundation
PFund is the LGBTQ+ community foundation that provides grants to students and grants to non-profits. PO Box 3640 Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 870-1806 www.pfundfoundation.org
HEALTH & WELLNESS
Aliveness Project
Community Center for individuals living with HIV/AIDS – on-site meals, food shelf, and supportive service.
3808 Nicollet Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55102 (612) 824-LIFE (5433) www.aliveness.org
MEDIA & COMMUNICATIONS
Radio K
Radio K is the award-winning studentrun radio station of the University of Minnesota.
330 21st. Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55455 (612) 625-3500 www.radiok.org
COMMUNITY CONNECTION
MEDICAL SERVICES
Red Door Clinic
HIV and STI screening, treatment, education, and referrals. Doxy PEP, nPEP, PrEP, and Reproductive Health. 525 Portland Ave., 4th Fl. Minneapolis, MN 55415 (612) 543-5555 reddoor@hennepin.us www.reddoorclinic.org
MUSEUM
Bell Museum, University of Minnesota
Discover Minnesota’s rich natural history through engaging exhibits, wildlife dioramas, and an exciting planetarium experience!
2088 Larpenteur Ave. W. St. Paul, MN 55113 (612) 626-9660 bellinfo@umn.edu www.bellmuseum.umn.edu
Minnesota Historical Society
Create your own adventure at MNHS historic sites and museums around Minnesota. www.mnhs.org
Minneapolis Institute of Art
Enjoy masterpieces from all over the world & every period of human history. Free admission daily!
2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55404 (612) 870-3000 www.artsmia.org
Science Museum of Minnesota
Mississippi Riverfront Museum featuring dinosaurs, hands-on exhibits, Omnitheater films, and interactive science performances. Café onsite. 120 W. Kellogg Blvd. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 221-9444 www.smm.org
PERFORMING ARTS
Chanhassen Dinner Theatres
The nation's largest professional dinner theater and Minnesota's own entertainment destination.
501 W. 78th St. Chanhassen, MN 55317 (952) 934-1525 www.chanhassendt.com
Children’s Theatre Company
Children’s Theatre Company excites the imagination with world-class family-friendly theatre for kids, teens, and adults.
2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55404 (612) 874-0400 www.childrenstheatre.org
Guthrie Theater
Open to the public year-round, the Guthrie produces classic and contemporary plays on three stages. 818 S. 2nd St. Minneapolis, MN 55415 (612) 377-2224 www.guthrietheater.org
Minnesota Opera
World-class opera draws you into a synthesis of beauty; breathtaking music, stunning costumes & extraordinary sets. Performances at the Ordway Music Theater - 345 Washington St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (612) 333-6669
www.mnopera.org
Minnesota Orchestra
Led by Music Director Designate Thomas Søndergård, the Minnesota Orchestra, one of America’s leading symphony orchestras.
1111 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 371-5656, (800) 292-4141 www.minnesotaorchestra.org
Ordway Center for the Performing Arts
Leading performing arts center with two stages presenting Broadway musicals, concerts & educational programs that enrich diverse audiences.
345 Washington St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 224-4222 info@ordway.org www.ordway.org
Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus
An award-winning chorus building community through music and offers entertainment worth coming out for! 1430 W. 28th St., Ste. B Minneapolis, MN 55408 (612) 339-SONG (7664) chorus@tcgmc.org www.tcgmc.org
RELIGIOUS
& SPIRITUAL
All God’s Children Metropolitan Community Church
A welcoming, inclusive, safe place to explore and discover God’s love for ALL God’s children.
3100 Park Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55407 (612) 824-2673 www.agcmcc.org
Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church
Everyone is welcome at Hennepin Church! Vibrant Worship. Authentic Community. Bold Outreach. 511 Groveland Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 871-5303 www.hennepinchurch.org
Plymouth Congregational Church
Many Hearts, One Song; Many Hands, One Church. Find us on Facebook and Twitter. 1900 Nicollet Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 871-7400 www.plymouth.org
St. Anthony Park United Church of Christ
We are an Open & Affirming, Progressive Christian Community. Real Church. Real People. Real Life. 2129 Commonwealth Ave. St. Paul, MN 55108 (651) 646-7173 www.sapucc.org
Westminster Presbyterian Church
An open and affirming congregation, welcoming persons of all sexual orientations, gender expressions and identities. 1200 Marquette Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 332-3421 www.westminstermpls.org
SENIOR LIVING
Lyngblomsten Community Services
Empowering older adults to live well at home through caregiver support, memory-loss enrichment, & wellness education.
1415 Almond Ave. St. Paul, MN 55108 (651) 632-5330 www.Lyngblomsten.org/CServices
Senior Community Services
Providing non-medical services that meet the changing needs of older adults & support their caregivers.
10201 Wayzata Blvd., Ste. 335 Minnetonka, MN 55305 (952) 541-1019 www.seniorcommunity.org/lav
SOCIAL SERVICES
Friends & Co
Fostering meaningful connections for older adults for 50+ years. Offering quick drop-in chat line, phone & visiting companionship services.
2550 University Ave. W., Ste. 260-S St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 721-1400
www.friendsco.org
Lutheran Social Service of Minnesota
Serving all Minnesotans with individualized services that promote full and abundant lives.
lssmn.org | (651) 642-5990 | (800) 582-5260
Foster Care and Adoption | chlss.org | (651) 646.7771
PICS (Partners in Community Supports) | (651) 967-5060
Pooled Trust | (888) 806-6844
Supported Decision-Making | (888) 806-6844
TRAVEL DESTINATIONS
Westopolis
Minnesota’s Sweet Spot! St. Louis Park & Golden Valley offer exceptional dining, attractions, shopping, hotels and event space.
1660 Hwy 100 S., Ste. 501 St. Louis Park, MN 55416 (952) 426-4047 www.westopolis.org
BY JAMES D. ERICKSON
Red Wine, Queer Fire
They say it’s for winter’s grip, For fireside whispers, the scent of pine. But I—
I sip it beneath a molten sky, Where the sun hums its fiery tune, Like every queer heart, unapologetically burning in the heat.
Cabernet Sauvignon.
A crimson river in my glass, Like the glow of rainbow flags Waving in summer winds. Velvety, like satin on bare skin, Warm, a lover’s secret, bold, refusing hesitation. Like me, Uncorked, unapologetic, Defying every expectation with each sip.
Dark fruit bursts— Blackberry, plum, Ripe, heavy, Like rain on hot pavement, Or the taste of longing that clings— An open declaration, What I want, unapologetic.
The tannins are a slow burn— A fire that crawls, quiet but sure, Never asking permission, But taking its time, Soft, sure, Like the last rays of sunlight, Defiant, unyielding.
I drop a cube. Just one. It shatters expectations, Turns this glass into rebellion. Ice melts like walls crumbling, Blurring the lines between me and the wine, What’s allowed and what’s mine.
The world gasps. I laugh—
They can’t take what’s mine. Not a puzzle to solve, Not a problem to fix, Not a shadow of who they think I should be. I hold the glass like a weapon, A declaration: Queer. Bold. Fiercely free.
This wine, It doesn’t belong to the rules. It belongs to fire, To queer hearts burning brighter Than the brightest stars. To the kiss, Hot, tender, full of secrets, Shared without hesitation, Lingering long after it’s gone.
Isn’t that just the way?
A toast to queer hearts burning bright— For in my hands, The Cabernet sings, A symphony of freedom, Of love that never stops fighting, Of pride that will never dim. Its notes are full, And it tastes like freedom, Like the summer that will never end.
© 2025 James D. Erickson. All rights reserved.
BY JAMEZ L. SMITH
Turn Off, Tune Out, Live On (& On Again)
Do Not Be Alarmed. This poem has no ending Boasting is not pretty. This poem does not connect Digital listening is limited. Being of Analog, anything less is unsatisfying even when it sounds Amazing there’s still something missing and i notice and i miss it. it’s missing. i long.
This poem makes no sense. Do Not Be Alarmed. God is Bored.
This poem holds some truths Some truths still hurt. i still love more than i am loved This poem shall continue. i wish i could select to forget.
Distance does not always make the heart grow fonder.
Distance often alienates, in my experience.
i do not need to diminish My Ego. i need to Embrace the God in Me. I do this.
This poem is true. Do Not Be Alarmed. the previous was just too hateful. I can’t flow with that. Don’t wanna ingest that poison. Inhale that toxin.
Spread that evil.
Self-check Speak too vaguely jump to conclusions… having no context, yet responding from limited perspective introducing negativity Rather than merely banish vile energies from my space, I must further not invoke them.
Self-check continued. This poem is gospel Do Not Be Alarmed.
If your idea of “sexy music” is inspired by that film where that centerfold becomes house mother you need to get f—ed right. This poem is like that. Though I’ve been hungry I’ve never known hunger Yes. I am blessed.
Yet, I know want.
Feel need.
Sometimes I’m blind. Sometimes, I’m beautifully stupid. I am grateful for this lack of lost innocence.
I dream of my dead Lives taken too soon for taste
Presumed in pain
Some suicides simply relieve exhaustion escape from tedium I understand Selfishly angry at their selfishness “how could you leave me like this?” I understand.
Do Not Be Alarmed. This poem is selfish, too. has no ending. shall continue.
Sometimes a Life without challenge is too much to bear
This poem shall write itself. popular with truckers why is walgreens open at 2:19 am? why is walgreens, of all places, selling ammunition? fast food wrappers
In this part of suburbia a cab picked him up at 9:41 a.m. The World will write this poem. Do Not Be Alarmed.
