Pets
Volume 30, Issue 786 • July 10-23, 2025
EDITORIAL
Managing Editor Noah Mitchell 612-461-8723
Editorial Assistant Linda Raines 612-436-4660
Editor Emeritus Ethan Boatner
Contributors Lakey Bridge, E.B. Boatner, Natasha DeLion, Alyssa Homeier, Terrance Griep, Shane Lueck, Elise Maren, Jen Peeples-Hampton, Linda Raines, Aspen Rush, Gregg Shapiro, Randy Stern, Susan Swavely, Natalie Trimble, Sommer Wagen, Carla Waldemar, Todd P. Walker, Emma Walytka, Spencer White
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Inspiration Steven W. Anderson (1954-1994), Timothy J. Lee (1968-2002), Russell Berg (1957-2005), Kathryn Rocheford (1914-2006), Jonathan Halverson (1974-2010), Adam Houghtaling (1984-2012), Walker Pearce (1946-2013), Tim Campbell (1939-2015), John Townsend (1959-2019), George Holdgrafer (1951-2024)
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BY NOAH MITCHELL
The Power of Pets in a Time of Tragedy
To open Lavender’s Pride in Pets issue, I’d like to dedicate this column to one particular pet, Gilbert, and his owners: Minnesota Rep. Melissa Hortman and her husband, Mark Hortman.
As I’m sure most of you are aware, Melissa and Mark Hortman were killed inside their home by a gunman on June 14. Their dog, Gilbert, was shot during the attack, badly injured and later euthanized, as reported in multiple local news outlets.
The attack on the Hortmans and Minnesota Sen. John Hoffman and his wife, Yvette Hoffman, was a horrific and indefensible act. I offer my sincere condolences and wellwishes to the family and friends of the Hortmans and Hoffmans and everyone who was affected.
Of all the wonderful work the Hortmans did during their lives, their love for dogs provided a focus for the outpouring of support in the wake of the tragedy.
The social media account We Rate Dogs highlighted the Hortmans’ volunteer work with Helping Paws, Inc., a nonprofit that trains service dogs and places them with people with physical disabilities. Helping Paws has received thousands of individual donations since We Rate Dogs’ social media posts went live.
The Hortmans left behind a massive legacy, and their work with Helping Paws is just one part of it. The attention it has drawn reflects the importance pets can have in our lives, especially in our most vulnerable moments. After an incredibly horrific event where it can be difficult to see any positives, service animals and the Hortmans’ love for them still provides a much-needed source of hope and positivity.
As their love for service dogs was only part of the Hortmans’ lives, providing comfort in times of tragedy is only one of many ways pets can benefit our lives. However, in this moment of mourning, their intersection has made an incredible impact.
Photo courtesy of BigStock/GoodStudio
OUR LAVENDER | A WORD IN EDGEWISE
BY E.B. BOATNER
Luck? It’s All Around You
I was talking with a young person the other day, discussing differences in job hunting back in my day and today, touching on the role “luck” plays in any endeavor.
I’d tag my first “luck” to July 6, 1944, with Dad at the Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus in Hartford, Conn. The tent caught fire, and as the masses fled the flames, Dad threw me over his shoulder and ran out, alone, through the burning entrance. From my vantage point, I saw that end of the tent collapse, felt a wash of heat. We made it. 169 others didn’t. Luck, or Dad’s timely assessment?
Mother’s scrapbook records my discovery of comic books and my collection of 30 by November 1945. I was 4. I doted on Donald Duck, assuming, from the title, “Walt Disney’s Comics & Stories,” that Uncle Walt created the whole shebang.
Years passed, and one night, drinking our nightly brews at Cronin’s in Harvard Square, the topic turned to Ducks — specifically Donald, et al. Adults now, at least of legal drinking age, all agreed there had existed the Good Duck Artist, replaced, on occasion, by Others Far Inferior. We’d discerned this as kids, long before college and the learned exegesis of texts.
Intrigued, I pursued, wrote inquiries, learned the Good Artist’s name, and in 1965 began a correspondence with Carl Barks. Over time, I visited, wrote an article in Harvard Magazine, an introduction to a volume of Barks’s Disney oil paintings, a Barks feature for the Overstreet Comic Book Price, and the text for Barks’s watercolor book, “Animal Quackers.”
I insert this diversion because somewhere down south, a youngster was born in 1967 who, later, after reading the 1977 Overstreet Price Guide Barks piece, became a Barks collector and aficionado. Jump to 2023 when that youngster, now grown and having become an engineer, emailed, “Are you the E.B.
Boatner?” The previous one having died in 1983, I allowed that I was. We became correspondents, now friends.
Last summer, when I had to have an operation, he wrote, “You will need this. I will drive it up (800 miles). And he did, arriving post-op to install an electric recliner, a huge boon then, and from which I currently write. Did luck manifest this generosity, or had I been working towards it since I was 4, devouring Donald Duck and Uncle Scrooge adventures?
I lean towards reading as a factor. It saved my life at 10, before ever hearing “Carl Barks” uttered. Driving north for a Canadian fishing trip, Dad and I stopped at a waterside motel. I asked permission to swim, Dad nodded yes, I put on my suit, and was off. The water was different from our pond, and bore me away. (Well, of course. I’d jumped in the St. Lawrence River, as I learned later) I flailed about then remembered: my Boy Scout Manual warned (and I paraphrase) “Don’t try to swim across a tide, aim diagonally and you’ll reach shore. Further downstream, but you’ll make it.” When Dad asked later if I’d had a good swim, I said, “Yes.” That last I learned on my own. The Scouts never red-flagged parents.
Thomas Wolfe opined, “Each of us is all the sums he has not counted: subtract us into the nakedness and night again, and you shall see begin four thousand years ago in Crete the love that ended yesterday in Texas.” More direct was E.M. Forster’s “Only connect.” Like DNA chains, luck has long antecedents.
Mr. Rogers advised youngsters, “Look for the helpers.” I’ll add, “Look for what you can learn.” What can you salvage from a bad job/situation? If a good situation, who should you thank? It’s all added onto the chain; you’ve only to access it.
BY LINDA RAINES
Linda Raines
Where did you grow up, and what was that like?
I grew up on a farm in southeast Missouri, right at the confluence of the Mississippi and Ohio Rivers. We were way out in the country, so much of my time was spent playing with the farm dogs and cats, or riding my bike to a friend’s house to ride her horse. I spent so, so many hours walking through the fields and pastures with my dogs, daydreaming about all of the places that I wanted to travel to someday, and so often wishing that I could find a portal in time to go back to the past that I loved so much from all of the books that I read.
Describe your perfect day.
Cold, grey, windy and rainy autumn day with heavy rain pelting against the windows, thunder and sitting with coffee or hot tea, my dogs, under a blanket with a good book.
How long have you been a writer, and how’d you get into it?
I think that my love for writing must have started in the fourth grade when my teacher had the kids who were in the advanced reading program write their own books about whatever we wanted. She worked with someone she knew to get them “published,” and they were displayed at our local library for a few months so people (likely just parents and relatives!) could check them out and read them. That ignited my love for writing, but I’d never pursued it more than the required papers in my university classes,
and then later writing Harry Potter fanfiction with a group of online friends and participating in a many-years-long online role-playing game in which I developed and wrote numerous characters. I actually worked at Lavender for many years before I started doing any writing for the magazine, which I quite enjoy.
What are you reading/watching/listening to these days?
Right now, I’m reading a book called “The Fire and The Light,” a novel about the Cathars in the Occitania region of southern France in the late 1100s and early 1200s. It’s historical fiction, but all of the characters are real people who lived then and dealt with the horrific treatment of the Cathars as heretics by the Catholic Church. I’ve visited many castles, cities and areas in that region that are associated with Cathar history, and it always fascinates me to think of the people who lived through this.
I also recently finished reading a book by Jonathan Cott about Omm Sety, an English woman who had a nearly deadly fall down a staircase as a young child named Dorothy Eady and awoke from a coma to have very vivid memories of having lived in a past life as a young priestess in ancient Egypt during the reign of Sety I at the temple of Osiris in Abydos. She moved to Egypt, married and had a child there, and worked with numerous noted Egyptologists. She has fascinated me since I was in my very early teens and saw a BBC interview with her shortly before she died in 1981. It sounds almost fantastical, but reading the book and realizing what an impact she had on modern Egyptology and the discovery of much of the previously lost temple of Osiris in Abydos because of her supposed memories from this previous life is beyond fascinating. I would have loved to have met her.
As to watching, I’ve been bingeing on a short mini-series on Apple+ called “Masters of the Air,” which is based on the 2007 book of the same name by Donald L. Miller. It follows the 100th Bomb Group of the Boeing B-17 Flying Fortress heavy bomber unit of the Eighth Air Force stationed at Thorpe Abbotts air base in eastern England during World War II. They were known as the Bloody 100th for the catastrophic losses they suffered in their daytime missions over German-occupied territory.
Who or what inspires you?
Beauty and history in art, music, architecture and historic clothing and jewelry. Renaissance and medieval paintings, the breathtaking gowns created by the House of Worth during the Gilded Age and the jewels of Imperial Russia. Walking through magnificent European cathedrals and castles and spending time in Notre Dame and Sainte-Chapelle in Paris. Standing in the French cave of Pech Merle and gazing at the red-painted handprints of the prehistoric people who lived there. It’s almost surreal to stand there in the exact same spot as the person who placed their hands on that wall and blew red ochre paint against the walls of that cave some 20,000 years ago.
Favorite qualities in another person?
A sense of adventure and a love of travel, a love for finding the new, the different, the unique. Most definitely kindness and compassion, especially for animals.
Least favorite?
Arrogance, self-centeredness, a sense of entitlement. Above all, cruelty to the defenseless and the innocents … animals, children, the elderly.
Where’s your happy place?
Two places: France and Scotland. I am so viscerally drawn to both places, both by blood and by my love of the history of both countries and the breathtaking beauty of them. The wild, rugged, untamed beauty of the Scottish Highlands is such a part of my soul because I think of my ancestors that lived there, and the utter beauty of all parts of France is just glorious.
What is your motto?
Nothing is promised, so don’t keep putting off following your dreams and looking for adventure, or it may end up being too late.
Linda with her dog Kyla. Photo by Jeff Raines
Scintillating Sicily
“Hold this for me,” instructs Laura, our tour guide in Palermo — the final stop in Road Scholar’s “Treasures of Sicily” adventure — as we gather to explore the city’s beyond-beautiful Palatine Chapel of the Norman Kings.
“I’m Italian,” she explains. “I need my hands to talk.”
Inside that magnificent 1100 C.E. structure, as she goes on to explain, all that glitters is, indeed, gold, starting with the mosaic tiles portraying Jesus Pancreator, boss of the world. The visit is the pinnacle of our twoweek expedition, which began in Taormina. As our plane prepared to land there, we peered out the window at the region’s iconic landmark, Mount Etna. She’s been lavishly spewing lava since 700 B.C.E., and we’ll hike her craters tomorrow. Tonight, though, I’m swanning down Taormina’s elite main drag, which makes Rodeo Drive look shabby, as the town’s film festival gets underway. (Michael Douglas just walked by.)
Taormina’s no stranger to such dramatic enticements. Its open-air Greek Theater, which we’re to explore, has entertained the masses since 300 B.C.E. In comparison, Winery Murgo, our lunch stop, is a mere up-
start, launched in 1863. But now, just before dinner, as part of Road Scholar’s learning mission, we gather for an expert’s lecture, such as tonight’s deep dive into the island’s cultural traditions.
Then it’s on to Siracusa, where our hotel anchors a harborside promenade leading to the Duomo — Cathedral — of 1693, outfitted in repurposed Roman pillars and skirted by a gracious piazza which serves as the town’s living room. As I devour spaghetti carbonara at a sidewalk café on its hem, I watch an impromptu tango performance (stiletto heels and all), leaving the spirited dancers a couple of euros in the tip jar.
St. Lucia — the city’s martyred patron — holds place of honor in a tiny, 10th-century church alongside the piazza, where several of her bone fragments reward the faithful. We then make our way to a stretch where Mussolini’s fascist façades dominate the streetscape; close by, ruins of the Temple of Apollo provide better eye candy. To add another intriguing perspective, we clamber into a motorboat for a waterside tour of the harbor, which we toast in sparkling vino, courtesy of the skiff’s captain.
Siracusa’s mesmerizing Archaeological Zone beckons after breakfast, leading off with a vast Greek theater and the parklike Paradise Quarry (no paradise for the slave workers who regularly perished there) and the echo-
Temple of Apollo, Cathedral of Syracuse (Duomo di Siracusa), Tower of the Norman castle. Photos by Carla Waldemar
CARLA WALDEMAR
ing Cave of Dionysius. For drama of a different nature — but equally beloved by Siracusans — we popped into the town’s marionette theater for a performance (Spoiler alert: the knight wins the lady).
During free time, a couple of us ventured into working-man’s Siracusa, where a painting by Caravaggio holds pride of place in yet another church dedicated to St. Lucia. Outside, a sprawling Sunday market bustles, offering everything from eats to tchotchkes.
Heading back, I happen upon Galleria Regionale, housing precious Siracusan artworks from 1500 to today, housed in a jewel of a palazzo.
And tomorrow, a jewel unhinged from its former crown. We hop on our bus for a 50-kilometer spin to visit the tiny mountain town of Buscemi, a “living museum” — that’s the spin they put on a dying village, inhabited these days by aging elders, whose progeny have fled in search of better opportunities.
We stroll back in time along its main street, stopping for coffee with its (very) senior citizens, peering into a former mill and carpenter’s shop; a winery with dusty grape press; a butcher shop, where we’re treated to samples of boar sausage; and a one-room cottage, proudly kept squeakyclean by a geriatric couple sporting smiles that reveal more gaps than molars. They plant moist kisses on our cheeks.
On to the more bustling town of Piazza Armerina and the enticing Villa Romana, which arose there in 300 C.E. After a 12th-century mudslide, it lay undiscovered until a hundred years ago. The remarkable remains of this sprawling, 40-room villa, built for a show-offy Roman potentate, contain multiple public baths (choose warm, temperate or cool), and public reception rooms flaunting intricate mosaics starring wild animals, hunters and bikini-clad young ladies tossing a frisbee around.
The next day’s destination, Agrigento, earns its fame via a visit to a spectacular archaeological museum boasting statues galore, climaxing in a white marble figure of a handsome youth rising 30 feet into the air — the star of this precious collection. Driving back, we survey a timeless summer landscape of wheat fields, olive trees and almond groves and patriarchal palms.
Agrigento seduces tourists with its vast network of Grecian temples, too — silhouettes backed by a deep blue sky since the 600 B.C.E. — serene, grandly-pillared structures even older than yesterday’s cache. But
Valley of the Temples, market in Palermo, Sicilian sweets, Palatine Chapel of the Norman Kings interior.
this visit goes beyond show-and-tell: We’re urged to scramble up and touch. At sunset — when shadows begin to temper the blistering, 90-degree heat — we’re the sole wanderers in this romantic foray into the long-distant past.
After a dinner of caprese salad, pasta with fish ragu and lemon gelato, we’re ready to head off after dawn to Palermo, Sicily’s splendid-toseedy capital and, back in the day, HQ of the (no longer mighty) Mafia. Creative graffiti emblazons many a walkway near our hotel, just off the main drag, where I head to watch the city’s creatively-costumed LGBTQ+ crowd on their way to a demo.
By morning, we’re ready to follow our feisty guide, Laura, as she takes on Palermo’s traffic. “Just try to kill me, I dare you!” she threatens motorists while we make our way from one ornate Baroque façade to the next. At the Palatine Chapel of the Norman Kings — the architectural gem of the city — the wow! factor kicks in as we gasp at the glistening floor-to-ceiling Biblical murals installed by Muslims for their Norman boss. Then on to an Oratorio chapel, lush with overweight cherubs blowing bubbles on its walls as the Virgin makes her way to heaven. Fully dazzled, we head off for a relaxing pizza night (the first of the trip!).
After the usual lavish deli spread (and endless cappuccinos) that serves as our daily breakfast, we make our way to Palermo’s open-air market to survey everything from Seuss-like sea critters to pyramids of lemons and almonds straight from neighboring groves.
Then (how did the days fly by so fast?) it’s time for our final dinner: lots of laughs, hugs and promises to keep in touch. Suitcases are set out for a 3 a.m. dash for the airport and back to reality. We bid a fond arrivederci to Sicily — uber-rich in history, overloaded with beauty and lush with dives into local life — but the experience will live on in our hearts.
For information, contact roadscholar.org. Life is short, so make the most of it!
Manchester, England — A Vibrant Tapestry of Culture, History and LGBTQ+ Pride
Manchester, England, is not only famous for its industrial heritage, music scene and football clubs — it’s also home to one of the most vibrant and historically significant LGBTQ+ communities in the UK. Often referred to as the “gay capital of the North,” Manchester has been a pioneer in LGBTQ+ rights, visibility and celebration, cultivating a culture of inclusivity that continues to thrive today.
The roots of Manchester’s LGBTQ+ history stretch back centuries, but it was during the 20th century that the city truly became a hub for activism and progress. In 1880, a scandal known as the “Manchester Drag Ball” brought national attention to the city when police raided a fancy dress ball attended by men in drag. Though the incident was used to stigmatize the community, it also marked one of the first widely publicized moments of queer expression in the city.
Manchester is home to several institutions that preserve and celebrate queer history. The LGBT Foundation, based in the city, is one of the UK’s leading LGBTQ+ charities, providing health and support services as well as educational resources.
The city is also immortalized in pop culture as the backdrop for “Queer as Folk,” the groundbreaking 1999 television series created by Russell T Davies. The show, set in Manchester’s Gay Village, helped bring the realities of LGBTQ+ life to mainstream audiences and played a pivotal role in shaping public attitudes.
Manchester is a city that lives and breathes resilience. It’s a place where cobblestone streets echo with the voices of industrial workers, punk rockers, activists and proud members of the LGBTQ+ community. I came here seeking stories — some hidden in old libraries, others pulsing through
neon-lit streets — and left with a sense of belonging I hadn’t expected.
My base for this journey was the magnificent Kimpton Clocktower Hotel. Located in a former insurance building dating back to the 1890s, it seamlessly marries historic grandeur with modern luxury. Walking through its doors felt like entering a different era. The soaring ceilings, intricate tilework and dramatic staircases told stories of old Manchester, while the in-room record players spinning tracks by Oasis made sure I knew exactly where I was.
The heart of the hotel is The Refuge — a restaurant and bar that buzzes with energy. Whether sipping cocktails beneath the Winter Garden’s lush greenery or sharing small plates that borrow flavors from around the world, I felt immersed in the city’s welcoming vibe. Even in its luxury, the Kimpton feels like a place for everyone, especially when there is a DJ spinning some cool jazzy beats.
One thing I loved about this property is their “Forgot it? We’ve got it” service. Whether it’s toothpaste, a shaving kit, or a phone charger, the helpful staff have you covered. I tend to forget at least one necessity on every trip. The Kimpton’s central location places guests within walking distance of Manchester’s vibrant cultural scene, including the Palace Theatre, Canal Street and various shopping and dining options.
My first stop in Manchester was the John Rylands Library — an architectural marvel of neo-Gothic design. I was there specifically to view “The Secret Public” exhibition. It traces Manchester’s underground art scene, especially its ties to queer culture and punk resistance. Flyers, magazines and photographs are on display.
And while we are on the topic of LGBTQ+ history, the best way to understand Manchester’s queer roots is by talking to the locals. The Free Manchester Walking Tours offers a Queer History Tour, led by passionate guides who have in depth knowledge of the city’s LGBTQ+ history and culture.
We began our tour in Sackville Gardens, home to the Alan Turing Memorial and the Beacon of Hope — a tribute to those affected by HIV/AIDS. It’s a space for reflection, nestled just beside Canal Street’s constant thrum. For those not familiar with Alan Turing, he was a pioneering mathematician and computer scientist, best known for his role in cracking the German Enigma code during World War II — a breakthrough that helped shorten the war and save countless lives. Often regarded as the father of modern computing, Turing laid the theoretical foundation for artificial intelligence. Despite his monumental contributions, he was persecuted for being gay, ultimately leading to his tragic death in 1954. Today, he is celebrated as both a scientific genius and a symbol of the ongoing struggle for LGBTQ+ rights.
Mural in the Gay Village, Freight Island. Photos by Joey Amato
No trip to Manchester would be complete without a night — or three — spent in the Gay Village. Centered around Canal Street, it’s a place that radiates warmth and freedom. What once was a hidden, underground scene in the 1980s has become a global symbol of LGBTQ+ pride.
During the day, you’ll find people sipping coffee along the canal and by night, the rainbow flags light up the street. Spaces like Via and The Eagle pulse with music and laughter, while Cruz 101 remains a sacred institution for dancefloor devotees. This is more than a party district — it’s a cultural hub, one that has helped shape national conversations and led by example.
Manchester’s gay scene is more than just nightlife. In the Northern Quarter, I stumbled into Feel Good Club — a queer-owned café that quickly became one of my favorite stops during my trip. Feel Good Club is a café, but the space also hosts workshops, mental wellness events and spontaneous conversations with strangers who somehow feel like old friends. I ordered a bowl of Apple Soaked Oats, and I have to say, it was one of the most delicious and inexpensive things I ate during my entire trip to England. I should have asked for the recipe!
A few blocks away sits Queer Lit, an LGBTQ+ bookstore filled to the brim with stories I wish I’d had growing up. From queer romance and fiction to books on trans identity and intersectionality, the shop is both cozy and revolutionary. Queer Lit claims to have the largest selection of LGBTQ+ books in all of Europe. Beyond books, the store hosts events such as workshops, live readings and book clubs, providing a safe and inclusive space for the community to gather and celebrate queer literature. They also serve a variety of beverages. I would definitely recommend trying one of their hot chocolate drinks.
Though my trip didn’t coincide with Manchester Pride, visitors can expect tens of thousands each August. Pride here features a blend of celebration and activism. From glitter-filled marches to thoughtful panel discussions, it’s a reflection of the city itself: joyful, inclusive and unafraid to
Hotel room at the Kimpton. Maray’s signature “Disco Cauliflower,” Joey at the John Rylands Library.
speak truth to power. Importantly, the money raised goes straight back into the community, funding LGBTQ+ health initiatives, charities and support services. Also in August is SCENE, Manchester’s LGBTQ+ Film & TV Festival, which consists of a week of new and classic LGBTQ+ cinema and TV screenings, panels and other events.
All this touring and learning about queer history made me hungry, so for dinner, I ventured to Maray, a Middle Eastern-inspired gem in the city center. Its signature “Disco Cauliflower” — roasted whole and topped with tahini, pomegranate and harissa — was a revelation. The food, like the city, defied expectations. It was spicy, complex and comforting. I would also recommend trying the Crispy Sea Bass with broccoli slaw.
Maray’s vibe is relaxed yet refined, a perfect place to unwind after a day of exploration. Its inclusive, welcoming spirit felt aligned with everything I’d experienced in Manchester so far.
For a more casual dining experience, head over to Freight Island, a unique food hall and entertainment venue located near Piccadilly Station. The venue features a variety of locally-owned food stalls including Mia’s Arepas, Ornella’s Little Kitchen and Mega Gyros. It’s a great place to grab a quick bite or cocktail after work with friends.
Manchester may not be as polished as London, but that adds to its charm and intrigue. I tend to enjoy cities like Manchester over their larger neighbors. During my entire stay, I was able to walk to every attraction I visited and by experience, the best way to see a city is on foot. It’s also a great way to burn off those extra calories.
Whether you’re wandering Canal Street at sunset, or simply sipping hot chocolate at Queer Lit, Manchester is a place where you can be yourself and belong.
Enjoy the Journey!
Nur-D is Here, He’s Queer and He’s ‘Chunkadelic’
The rapper, a local favorite, will be celebrating his 10th full-length project, which he calls his most personal project yet, at the Fillmore this month.
Nur-D, aka Matt Allen, is perhaps the friendliest local celebrity you will ever meet.
When we met at a Minneapolis coffee shop to discuss his upcoming album “Chunkadelic,” he walked into the wrong room and still buoyantly greeted everyone after realizing I was sitting elsewhere.
The 34-year-old rapper from Rosemount, Minn., who makes “hip-hop and pop for people who feel different,” rocked a big smile and jubilant laugh along with a bright orange sweatshirt covered in cartoon characters.
Nur-D embodies the openness and unabashed nerdery that define his
music, things he says are in their fullest form in “Chunkadelic,” his 10th full-length album set to release on July 23.
“It’s a real combination of all that I’ve learned musically since I’ve started,” he says.
Nur-D explains that the record began with a much more dour, depressing mood, but that he shifted gears when it stopped being fun to make.
“I was thinking, ‘Y’know, there’s gotta be another way to do this,’ and it turned into ‘protest by way of radical joy’ and ‘creativity in the face of opposition,’ and everything just popped into place,” he says. “It is booty shaking in the face of adversity.”
Fittingly, one of its singles is titled “Sandy Cheeks” (referring to the “Spongebob” character whose name is an iconic innuendo.) In the song, Nur-D declares his authenticity even in the face of immense change, namely his rise to prominence, to a boppy, funkadelic flow.
Photo courtesy of Nur-D
Nur-D, cover star of Lavender’s 2022 Pride Issue, says the “Chunkadelic” sentiment also applies to his queer identity.
“Most of the identity labels that I have, with the exception of being [cisgender], are in some way in opposition to the status quo: a big bodied, queer, Black person making hip-hop music in a majority white space, being Minnesota,” he says. “Doing so with joy and fun, I think that’s the first thing the opposition tries to take.
“Being more loud about it has ruffled some feathers, but they’re feathers that need to be ruffled.”
Nur-D’s queerness is also apparent in his musical influences, from gender-playful local legend Prince and ‘80s hair metal bands who embodied masculinity with feathery hair and tight leather pants, to Tyler, The Creator, who has often rapped about his fluid sexuality.
Even after sharing the Soundset 2018 stage with Tyler, Nur-D says he has “hometown jitters” for the “Chunkadelic” album release party at the Fillmore on July 25, his first time headlining the venue.
“You never know who’s gonna show up,” he says. “I’m excited to be able to show my fans and the people who are coming from all over just how much this album has affected me and how much the message can be used today.”
With openers Dakotah Faye, iLLism and DJ Hayes, it will be a veritable celebration of how far Nur-D has come in the seven years since he started making music in 2018.
“I’ve written a lot of music, and coming in on my 10th full-length project, it feels like a major milestone,” he says. “It feels like proof that I can do this consistently. Every time I finish a project, I get scared that I have nothing else to say, but living my life gives me a lot more opportunities to continue the conversation.”
ELECTRIC FETUS
As for what comes after “Chunkadelic,” Nur-D has a full to-do list, from a record store tour with DJ Hayes to working to make recording music more accessible via his St. Paul studio, FairPlay Entertainment.
“I’m also a professional wrestler now,” he states with a cheeky grin.
He hopes to become the first Grammy winner to also hold a championship belt.
“I don’t care what the Grammy’s for, I’m gonna walk on the red carpet with my belt, that’s all I know,” he laughs.
On that note, we agree on a comparison between him and actor Jack Black. Jack Black’s presence in each of his movies feels natural across a range of characters, contexts and genres.
“I like the motto that you’ll never know where you’ll see me, but I’ll never be out of place,” Nur-D says.
Anyone looking to explore Nur-D’s vast discography in preparation for “Chunkadelic” has a plethora to choose from, but specifically, he names his 2019 breakout album “Songs About Stuff” and 2022’s “HVN” (pronounced “heaven)” as must-listens.
“I got my first commercial placement off of [“SAS”], and a lot of people found me for the first time. ‘20 Cha’ with the Minnesota Orchestra was nominated for a Regional Emmy,” he says.
He describes “HVN” as an introspective epilogue to his group works “38th” and “Chicago Avenue,” both released in 2020 in the aftermath of George Floyd’s murder and subsequent uprising.
“It brings the same elements from [‘38th’ and ‘Chicago’], as well as my own deconstruction journey away from Evangelical Christianity. The ideas floating around ‘HVN’ are a great secondary to ‘Songs About Stuff,’” he says.
Sizzling Deals
MORE THAN MUSIC
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Tickets for the “Chunkadelic” release show are $30 in advance and $35 at the door. More information can be found on Nur-D’s Instagram page, @nurdrocks. scan for recipes , grilLing tips , and sale items
Queer Joy, Center Stage
“We
have an abundance of queer talent in the [Twin] Cities,” says Maxwell Freudenthal. “There should always be opportunities for our community to know: if you want to do a show, there’s space for you.”
As a transplant from Wisconsin, Freudenthal produced musicals during his college years at MCAD and participated in some small community theater productions after graduation. He soon realized that he wasn’t satisfied with the shows and roles available for queer representation.
“There were a lot of parts that I wanted to try and do or that I wanted to see that companies just weren’t doing,” he says. “If they did them, I wasn’t always impressed by how they handled the material, especially with queer characters and themes. A lot of times, things were omitted or changed or made to be more palatable that I did not agree with.”
Instead of complaining, Freudenthal channeled his skills as a full-time multimedia producer into producing a version of “La Cage aux Folles” at LUSH Lounge & Theater, an experience that he calls “incredible” and “validating.”
After producing “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” the year after that, the decision was made to formalize a nonprofit to help with donations and sponsorships in order to continue the work. Mixfit Theatre Company began to take shape, with its debut show planned for this summer before the hard decision to postpone it to the 2026 season.
One reason for the delay was the trauma Freudenthal encountered within the queer and theater communities. That’s why producing shows at LUSH was an easy decision. Not only do they have a stage, lighting and sound equipment, but it is a queer-affirming space.
Freudenthal describes school and community theater as a “bigger closet” — welcoming until you step on stage.
“Then you’re ostensibly cishet because queer characters aren’t called out in the script and you don’t want to risk offending an outspoken community member,” he says. “Your queerness is masked in the context of the performance.”
It’s part of a larger problem Freudenthal sees in theater: marginalized identities are often included, but rarely centered or celebrated.
In contrast, Mixfit’s casting philosophy is “if you can slay it, you can play it.” Without changing the script, actors can bring their unique perspective to a role and put their own twist on the shows. Particularly when someone queer or a person of color takes on a character traditionally portrayed by a cisgender, straight, white actor.
Photos courtesy of Rick Allen
Freudenthal recalls an actor working with a costume designer to add nonbinary garments to a character, adding “they just kept talking about how much gender euphoria they were feeling that they hadn’t felt on stage before.”
He continues, “The opportunity to be visibly queer on stage and having a hand in shaping a character so that you feel seen and affirmed is extremely rare. It’s something I’ve had to campaign or fight for in the past, and that’s not what I want our actors or crew to experience.”
Ultimately, he says audiences can expect queer excellence from a Mixfit Theatre Company production. “We want highly engaging, immersive and diverse shows,” he beams. “Just queer joy and celebration.”
Donate or stay up to date on the upcoming season at mixfittheatre.org.
book by JOE MASTEROFF based on the play by JOHN VAN DRUTEN and stories by CHRISTOPHER ISHERWOOD music by JOHN KANDER lyrics by FRED EBB directed by JOSEPH HAJ
Intersectionality and Education Become a Focus for Theater Mu
Fran de Leon takes on the role of artistic director for the theater, bringing an ambitious vision with her.
Fran de Leon has always had a passion for theater. From acting to playwriting to directing, she became accustomed to the roles that make up a theater production.
After spending most of her career traveling with a theater education company, de Leon knew there was more out there for her when it came to teaching people about theater and the importance theater can represent in a community.
So, when Theater Mu reached out to ask if she was interested in being the company’s next artistic director, the answer seemed uncomplicated.
De Leon fell in love with what Theater Mu could offer her because of the people who make up the theater, meeting them for the first time when
she visited Minneapolis in February. She says they supported her artistic vision and were willing to help her obtain the goals she had for the company.
Education is important to de Leon, and at Theater Mu, she wants to train artists and theater goers by going to the younger crowds and showing them that theater is for them. Theater Mu does not have its own space, so the company can bring shows anywhere around the city.
“Theater can be done anywhere,” de Leon says. “Theater is about the presentation and the connection with the audience, and you can do that anywhere.”
Community connection is another goal de Leon wants to reach with Theater Mu. She says she’s looking forward to representing different communities in the area and creating shows together that the surrounding communities can be part of, whether that be on stage or behind the scenes.
But de Leon’s main goal contains two major themes: inclusivity and in-
Cast and (in foreground) playwright Nicholas Pilapil and director Fran de Leon during the world premiere of “God Will Do the Rest” at LA Theatre Center, presented by Artists at Play and Latino Theater Co (2024). Photo courtesy Fran de Leon. Theater Mu’s artistic director Fran de Leon. Photo by Rich Ryan
tersectionality. She says she wants the AAPI communities to come together and find a way to represent everyone, no matter what culture or gender.
Although she declined to name the shows, de Leon says she has shows in mind that she wants to do where intersectionality is a core theme. She added that she is excited to play around with new show ideas for the theater to tackle.
Her first year, though, she says she wants to take a step back and absorb the lessons she can learn from the Twin Cities community.
“My first year there, I’m going to be a student so that I can learn the culture of the Midwest,” de Leon says. “That way, I can see what it is that is asking to be told, to be presented here. I’ll bring what I’ve gleaned over 30 years and take us all up together.”
Mu continues to be an institution of integrity and artistic value, de Leon says, and she looks forward to widening circles from a cultural viewpoint while in her new position.
De Leon acknowledged the challenges that come with being truly and totally inclusive, saying that not everything is going to be obtainable in one season, but says she will always be looking to the next season to see what else can be done.
“Theater can be done anywhere and in any way, and we will always be open to seeing what other community events Mu can have,” de Leon says.
De Leon is not one to shy away from asking for help, and she says she hopes those she is working with will adopt the same mentality because “we’re all in this together and it’s how we get better as a theater.”
Fostering the theater community and bringing seasoned vets out to see what Theater Mu can do is what de Leon says she is looking forward to the most. She says she’s been spending time getting to know other directors in the Twin Cities and connecting with them regarding potential partnerships and projects.
When asking de Leon what she wants the Twin Cities community to know about her as she enters her new role with Theater Mu, she says she will always have an open door as an artistic director.
“We’re all just humans trying to figure our way around this world, and certainly this world right now, and I want people to know that theater is my way of activism,” de Leon says. “It’s what I feel called to do, and any theater maker can be called to action in that.”
Taking His Chance: An Interview with Gay Actor
Doug Spearman
OUR OUR SCENE | ENTERTAINMENT
BY GREGG SHAPIRO
There’s no question that when Patrik-Ian Polk’s series “Noah’s Arc” premiered on Logo 20 years ago, it was a groundbreaking creation. The story of a group of Black gay men and their wonderful friendship. The titular arc was that of the cute main character, Noah (Darryl Stephens), and his close-knit circle of friends, including Chance, played by gay actor Doug Spearman. This compelling and loving fraternity may, in fact, be what brought viewers back repeatedly, including a 2008 movie, “Noah’s Arc: Jumping the Broom,” as well as the 2020 “Noah’s Arc” short, and now, a new full-length feature “Noah’s Arc: The Movie,” debuting on Paramount+/Showtime on June 20. In the movie, filled with equal measures of laughs and tears, Chance, who has faced a devastating loss, finds his dependable friends there, ready to support and comfort him at a moment’s notice. I had the pleasure of speaking with Doug Spearman on the morning of the streaming premiere of “Noah’s Arc: The Movie.”
Gregg Shapiro: Doug, since the early 2000s, when the “Noah’s Arc” series premiered on Logo, you have been playing the character of Chance, including in the latest installment, “Noah’s Arc: The Movie.” What was it about Chance that appealed to you as an actor?
Doug Spearman: When Patrik(-Ian Polk) called me to ask me to play him (Chance), I was at JFK airport in the baggage claim, waiting for a suitcase. He explained what the part was. The thing that stuck out to me was the fact that Chance was in a long-term relationship with another Black man. And, they had a child; they had a four-year-old daughter named Kenya. I had never seen two Black gay men raise a child on TV before. I thought it was the most revolutionary thing I’d ever seen. I immediately thought I’ve got to do this because that was something nobody had seen. I thought it was incredibly important to take the part.
“Noah’s Arc: The Movie” was, once again, written and directed by Patrik-Ian Polk, who you just mentioned is the creator of the entire franchise. What’s the secret to your long-standing working relationship?
[Laughs] The whole team, all of us, are like a band of brothers. We fight like brothers, we come together like brothers, we hash things out, we talk, because we’re all very different from our characters. I think the challenge of playing these guys and then uplifting these men, playing a part, especially something written by Patrik, is like solving a math equation. There’s always a challenge that’s enjoyable for me as an actor: to try to find out what it is that Patrik wants, and then how do I do it.
I think you do a very good job of it.
Thank you very much!
In the years between “Jumping the Broom” and the new full-length movie, many changes have occurred, and the story addresses some of them, including gay widowhood, which is something that the aging community is now confronting, as well as mental health issues. Please say a few words about how you approached those subjects in the new movie.
I had a lot of loss in my life, right before we started shooting. Two months before we started shooting the first series, my mother died. I was going through the grief process through that whole first season. Since then, I’ve lost a lot of people in my life. In fact, when we started shooting the second season, the second week we were shooting, my ex died of a heart attack. I was having to fold that into what I was doing with my life on the set and off the set. You’ve got to show up and you’ve got to do your work. The first two seasons of “Noah’s Arc” are always tinged with the memory of grief. So, when I had to deal with the death that Chance faces (in the new movie), which is a significant death in his life, it wasn’t that hard to reach back, especially the scene in the graveyard. It was something that I unfortunately could pull from personal experience.
Shifting gears, the movie features delightful cast surprises, including Jasmine Guy and Ts Madison. Did you have a chance to interact with either or both when they were on set?
No, I didn’t have any scenes with Jasmine, and I missed her. I wish I had gotten to see her because I actually got to direct Jasmine for a CBS promo shoot for “Queen,” back in the early ‘90s. I had a huge crush on her when she was on “A Different World.” So, I really would have liked to reconnect. But Ts and I got to see each other every day because I was in all her scenes. It was extraordinary being around somebody like that. That is one outspoken woman!
Even though Beyoncé never makes an appearance in the movie, there’s a lot of talk about her. Would you say you are a Beyoncé fan?
Yes! I’m breathing! Yes, I’m a Beyoncé fan. I actually got the chance to meet her. I knew her mom. Her mom was extraordinary to me. She is in the second movie I directed. She also gave us a wedding gown to use in the very first scene of the movie. That family is extraordinarily important to me. Not only just to be a fan, but to be somebody who’s gotten to know them and work with them and see how hard they work. I don’t think anybody works as hard as Tina or Beyoncé.
There was a recent news item about gay actor Benito Skinner of the Amazon Prime series “Overcompensating” being told not to bother auditioning for straight roles. As an out actor yourself, how important do you think it is for queer characters to be portrayed by queer actors, and vice versa?
Being queer is a multifaceted identity. There’s no one kind of queer person. I think finding the best actor that’s your first circle of casting. I think one of the joys about being an actor is that you get to play different parts. I play straight guys all the time. Dads and husbands and things like that. I think a lot of people are told not to do it. In fact, I wouldn’t be Chance if the actor who was originally cast as Chance hadn’t been pulled out of the series by his agents because they didn’t want him to play a gay character.
That’s amazing! Thank you for sharing that. Without giving away too much, the ending of the movie is a little ambiguous, even ending with a question mark. If there were a “Noah’s Arc: The Movie” sequel, would you come back for that?
Yeah! A lot of it would depend on what Chance’s journey is going to be like. Patrik and I have conversations like that all the time. He’s very interested and supportive of input. I hope I would be, as we all would be, part of the creative growth with these characters. They live in Patrik’s head, and he writes them, but we’re the ones who have to flesh them out. It’s a conversation, it’s always a conversation.
You are currently performing in Molière’s “The Imaginary Invalid” as part of the New Orleans Shakespeare Festival at Tulane. What has this experience been like for you?
It’s extraordinary! I started on stage when I was 7. There’s nothing like working with a live audience and having that immediacy. I’m working with an extraordinarily talented cast in a really great play, and I have some of the best scene partners I could ever want.
Are there any upcoming film or TV projects you’d like to mention?
I’m still a writer, and I’m still a director, and I’ve still got scripts that I would like to make. I have a little something that’s a cross between “Treme” and “Bridgerton” that I want to do. I’m always trying to figure out what the next thing is.
Grief is Healing, Grief is Love, Grief is Remembering
When the time with our furry friends unfortunately comes to an end, it’s important to remember that grief is a necessary part of healing. Grief is not just sadness; it is remembrance, love and connection.
While there’s not a right way to grieve, there are methods and activities that support positive healing. Rachel Augusta, medical intuitive and grief specialist, created the Broken Hearted Pawrents Oracle Deck for that purpose.
Augusta started this work after her late cat, Holly, got sick, and the veterinarian did not treat the situation with compassion. Her cat lived years longer than the vet had told her, but the lack of compassion emphasized the way grief for pets is valued less than that of a human. Through her animal medical intuitive work, she has helped many pets and people navigate the healing process, as well as those who have experienced the loss of their furbaby.
“The deck was born out of thousands of conversations,” Augusta says. “It’s everything I needed to hear, it’s everything they’ve needed to hear, and what it does is it creates a bridge to connection.”
There’s a lot of stigma around loss and grief that often encourages people to repress feelings or not hold space for healing. The prompts in this 54-card deck help with processing the loss, remind people to take care of
themselves, and help them remember their pet and feel connected to them.
Some prompts are as simple as “drink water” or “take a walk,” while others encourage activities like talking about your experience with a friend or family member, building an altar or planting a tree.
“I have learned that when people grieve deeply, they grieve cleanly, and people are afraid of grief, they’re afraid of losing their animals and oftentimes very afraid of this deck,” Augusta says. “This deck doesn’t make people feel worse. It makes you feel more connected to the animal that you lived with, like it’s a bridge back to them, it’s a bridge to connect to them and it’s a bridge to remember the wonderful things without it making you spin out and crash and burn.”
Helping Others
Most of the time, people don’t know how to talk to someone who is grieving, often fearing that it will make them feel sad, Augusta says. The truth is that people are already sad and thinking about their lost animal, and they want to talk about it.
It’s especially important for parents to help children cope with the loss of a pet and process the grief in a safe space, and the prompts in the deck can also help with reflection and connection for the child. She says some people have told her they never got another pet after losing a pet when they were younger because they didn’t know how to cope with that loss.
Photos courtesy of Rachel Augusta
“It’s like your first loss, and how your parents support you through that will kind of make or break how you become an adult in the world that knows how to bring love into their life,” Augusta says. “If you can sit with your kid and just have a real conversation about love, that’s a really beautiful way of holding them and loss.”
In addition to the deck, Augusta created an app called EmPAWer that has meditations for grieving a pet and ones specific for kids and teenagers, as well as various other meditations and resources for rescue animals or sick animals.
Normalize Grief
Our furry friends are with us through many life changes, especially as queer people. We emphasize the importance of chosen family, and they are part of our chosen family, too, Augusta says. One of the first steps to normalizing this grief is changing the way we view the relationship.
“When you’re in the queer community, people are gonna dismiss you and your life on a constant basis, and they’re going to dismiss your relationships that you have with other humans. Do not dismiss that relationship as well,” Augusta says. “I think that it is pivotal in this, that they are not just your pet, they’re your life coach. Like that little individual, you might speak a different language, but they’re actually your ride or die, they’re your companion.”
It’s important we acknowledge them as our family and honor them in life and death. Augusta also says we need to talk about this grief and ask for what we need. Have conversations about your grief, put boundaries around what is safe and what isn’t, and these conversations will become more normalized the more we have them.
“If we are unwilling to have conversations about grief, no one is going to know how to support us,” Augusta says. “Setting boundaries around what you need and being able to have these conversations is what’s going to create the ripple, just like in every other movement.”
Grief is a journey that’s different for everyone. There are ups and downs, but it never goes away and we’ll always miss them, Augusta says.
“Someone explained this to me years ago when she lost her daughter, and it’s never left me. She said that grief for her is a hole that sometimes she remembers to walk around and sometimes she still accidentally falls in,” Augusta says. “I just feel like that’s such a great reminder that there’s not a timeline on it.”
Learn more about the Broken Hearted Pawrents Oracle Deck at brokenheartedpawrents.com.
Sam Nordquist Benefit to Remember the Man, Not Just the Murder
Sam’s family and friends want to tell the community about who he was and seek justice for his murder.
Just a few months after the tragic murder of Sam Nordquist, friends and family hope to get justice and introduce people to the man from Red Wing for who he was in life, not just the events that led to his death.
With trials for the seven people accused of torturing and murdering Sam still looming, Linda Nordquist, his mother, is holding a benefit on July 20 at Richard Walton Park in Oakdale, Minn., from noon to 6 p.m. Linda and her daughter started a GoFundMe to pay for funeral expenses, travel to New York (where the trials are being held and where Sam was recently added to the National LGBTQ+ Wall of Honor in the Stonewall Inn) and, hopefully, to invest in the community and provide a safe space for LGBTQ+ people in Minnesota.
Beyond raising money, they want to share the love they have for Sam and the love he had for everyone in his life. And, of course, they want justice for the man they say would give the shirt off his back for anyone who needed it.
“He was just such a kind and caring soul,” says Sam’s childhood friend, Reagan Bearsaveslife. “And he’s so rare. He’s just such a rare person to come by. And it’s honestly a blessing to have had him in your life.”
When Sam’s murder became national news, his identity as a trans man was front and center. The New York Times headline initially referred to Sam as a trans man, then a man, then, finally, simply as a person. Bearsaveslife says she wishes the focus wasn’t on that aspect of his life.
“Him being transgender is one of the main things that is going to be misunderstood,” she says. “I’ve seen a lot of hate comments and a lot of people trying to go back and forth with other people who never knew him, trying to paint a picture about who he was or how he identified himself, or who he should be. And I think everybody just needs to settle and understand that, you know, he is a man, and that’s how he would want to be addressed. That’s how he’s asked everybody to address him. That doesn’t make him any less of a person or less deserving of justice.”
Outside of some of the transphobia and hateful speculation online, Linda says she’s had mixed feelings about the community in the wake of her son’s death. In particular, she says she wishes Minnesotans were more invested in supporting her son.
Photos courtesy of Linda Nordquist
“They had it on the news when it first happened. But, I mean, they don’t even follow up with what’s happening with the court cases or anything,” Linda says. “Sam’s always on the news in New York. It’s like they forgot about Sam here in Minnesota. And it surprises me how many people in Minnesota don’t even know about this case.”
Hopefully, through this benefit, greater support from Minnesotans will arise. Despite some lacking coverage, Bearsaveslife says she has appreciated the care shown by those who do know Sam’s story.
“I’ve been in contact with people you wouldn’t expect from places I’ve never been, never heard of, and just, I think that’s really helpful for everybody right now who is struggling with this, everybody who loves Sam,” Bearsaveslife says. “Being able to lean on other people, and especially ones that don’t know you personally, it makes things a lot easier.”
Linda and Bearsaveslife hope that, through this support, they can get justice for Sam. Linda says she plans to be at every single trial. Through justice, they hope to find some catharsis.
“I wanna see these bitches just rot away for the rest of their lives,” Bearsaveslife says. “They don’t deserve anything.”
While the trials are still a long way away, Linda wants to use this benefit and Sam’s story to support the LGBTQ+ community and keep people safe.
“People that are in that community, they don’t feel safe. They don’t want to go out. Everybody has the right to live their life as they choose, and it’s a shame that that community of people are treated differently, and it shouldn’t be like that,” Linda says.
The benefit on July 20 will have karaoke, face painting, a silent auction and snacks for purchase. Linda is setting up the benefit on her own and hopes to open housing or a community center for LGBTQ+ people in the future.
A ‘Mid’ Life? Not on Your Watch
I turned 44 years old this year, and that makes me a middle-aged man.
It doesn’t feel like that, though.
I’m not sure what it’s supposed to feel like, but I didn’t expect it to feel like this.
Which is good. I feel good.
I also feel 44.
I’m older. I’m wiser. I’m a little bit fatter.
But I’m 44 years old, and I feel good.
You won’t catch me hanging out in my old haunts anymore. Or stumbling to an after-hours. Or even running a half-marathon.
Certainly not consecutively; that’s young-boy s—.
Those things are in the past, and things in the past should stay there.
I’ve had a f—in’ time though — and I’ve lived each decade the way it’s meant to be lived, I think.
I spent my 20s in bars, on the tops of tables and under random men.
My 30s were committed to building a career in New York City, to which I was wholly dedicated — until I wasn’t.
My 40s have seen their entirety traveling the country as a nomad, seeking all the excitement, adventure and experiences that life has to offer.
I’ve soared in a hot-air balloon over a Mesoamerican temple, in a seaplane over the Alaskan tundra, under a parachute over Grand Teton National Park.
I’ve dove with lemon, tiger, and bronze whaler sharks off the coasts of Florida, Hawaii and South Africa, respectively.
I’ve gotten a tattoo of my name in Japanese from somebody who speaks
Spanish at a bar in Tijuana after getting tossed off a mechanical bull. (Try explaining that one to your mom. Or my mom. Please. I still don’t think she forgives me.)
Point is, I’ve always been interested in the experience.
What it was like to go to a nice college, join a fraternity, get married. I wasn’t particularly interested in the institutions themselves, but rather how it felt to participate in them and the expanded consciousness that resulted.
That’s what keeps me 44 years young, too: curiosity.
I want to know what it’s like to live. What it’s like to be the best version of a human I can be. And that’s my quest — to be the best me.
I don’t always succeed (and God knows the past should stay where it belongs in my case), but I think I’m getting better at it, and I’ll keep trying — because humanity is the single greatest gift in existence, I’m convinced. The challenge is what we do with it. Do we squander it, or do we specialize in it?
When you recognize that it’s theoretically possible that we’re the most intelligent species that will ever live, it changes your perspective. (I’m not saying I believe that, by the way, but I am saying it’s possible.)
Once you put that in context, especially after you consider the supremely limited time we have in this life experience, it should encourage you to experience more.
If you’re at a similar stage and age to me, use midlife not as an opportunity to lament but to reinvent.
You’re arguably at the best time of your own existence — steady job, a few bucks in the bank, solid friends and family. What more can you ask for?
Plenty, as it turns out — because we are human, after all — but instead of mourning middle age and satisfying yourself with material things, wouldn’t you rather count your blessings and focus on endeavors that improve you — before it’s too late?
And aren’t you still curious?
Perhaps to know what it’s like to speak another language, or rehab injured animals or make amends with somebody you’ve hurt but have been too embarrassed to admit.
To summit a heaven-sent peak, ride out an earthquake, chase a twirling twister.
You could pursue polar bears on a hunt in the Arctic, sail the Caribbean in a catamaran, or walk in Darwin’s footsteps while digging into the Galapagos.
Run for office, develop an interest in conservation, build something with your bare hands.
Your grandmother might think it’s nice if you learned to play bridge with her. Tap-dance lessons should be fun. You could bake the perfect Bundt.
The world is your oyster, and you can learn to harvest them, too.
Truth is, midlife is only “mid” if you allow it.
There’s no limit to what you can do on this planet — and beyond, even. The only limiter is you. But it’s all possible if you embrace the possibility.
Of course, it’s also possible that these thoughts are nothing more than the manifestation of a midlife crisis all my own.
Good.
I’ve always wanted to know what that was like.
Mikey Rox is an award-winning freelance journalist whose zest for life has taken him to all 50 states, 17 countries, and into the beds of a few celebrities who shall remain nameless… for now. Follow his continuing adventures on Instagram @ mikeyroxtravels.
Community Connection brings visibility to local LGBTQ-friendly non-profit organizations. To reserve your listing in Community Connection, email advertising@lavendermagazine. com.
ANIMAL RESCUE
Second Chance Animal Rescue
Dedicated to rescuing, fostering, caring for, and adopting out dogs and cats into forever homes.
P.O. Box 10533 White Bear Lake, MN 55110 (651) 771-5662 www.secondchancerescue.org
BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS
Quorum
Minnesota's LGBTQ+ and Allied Chamber of Commerce working to build, connect, and strengthen for a diverse business community. 2446 University Ave. W., Ste 112 St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 460-8153 www.twincitiesquorum.com
ENVIRONMENT
The Nature Conservancy
TNC is an environmental nonprofit working to create a world where people and nature thrive. 1101 W. River Pkwy., Ste. 200 Minneapolis, MN 55415-1291 (612) 331-0700 minnesota@tnc.org www.nature.org/minnesota
EVENT VENUES
Landmark Center
A classic venue, with a grand cortile and beautiful courtrooms, accommodates celebrations of all sizes.
75 W. 5th St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 292-3228 www.landmarkcenter.org
GRANTMAKERS/FUNDERS
PFund Foundation
PFund is the LGBTQ+ community foundation that provides grants to students and grants to non-profits. PO Box 3640 Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 870-1806 www.pfundfoundation.org
HEALTH & WELLNESS
Aliveness Project
Community Center for individuals living with HIV/AIDS – on-site meals, food shelf, and supportive service.
3808 Nicollet Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55102 (612) 824-LIFE (5433) www.aliveness.org
MEDIA & COMMUNICATIONS
Radio K
Radio K is the award-winning studentrun radio station of the University of Minnesota.
330 21st. Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55455 (612) 625-3500 www.radiok.org
COMMUNITY CONNECTION
MEDICAL SERVICES
Red Door Clinic
HIV and STI screening, treatment, education, and referrals. Doxy PEP, nPEP, PrEP, and Reproductive Health. 525 Portland Ave., 4th Fl. Minneapolis, MN 55415 (612) 543-5555 reddoor@hennepin.us www.reddoorclinic.org
MUSEUM
Bell Museum, University of Minnesota
Discover Minnesota’s rich natural history through engaging exhibits, wildlife dioramas, and an exciting planetarium experience!
2088 Larpenteur Ave. W. St. Paul, MN 55113 (612) 626-9660 bellinfo@umn.edu www.bellmuseum.umn.edu
Minnesota Historical Society
Create your own adventure at MNHS historic sites and museums around Minnesota. www.mnhs.org
Minneapolis Institute of Art
Enjoy masterpieces from all over the world & every period of human history. Free admission daily!
2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55404 (612) 870-3000 www.artsmia.org
Science Museum of Minnesota
Mississippi Riverfront Museum featuring dinosaurs, hands-on exhibits, Omnitheater films, and interactive science performances. Café onsite. 120 W. Kellogg Blvd. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 221-9444 www.smm.org
PERFORMING ARTS
Chanhassen Dinner Theatres
The nation's largest professional dinner theater and Minnesota's own entertainment destination.
501 W. 78th St. Chanhassen, MN 55317 (952) 934-1525 www.chanhassendt.com
Children’s Theatre Company
Children’s Theatre Company excites the imagination with world-class family-friendly theatre for kids, teens, and adults.
2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55404 (612) 874-0400 www.childrenstheatre.org
Guthrie Theater
Open to the public year-round, the Guthrie produces classic and contemporary plays on three stages. 818 S. 2nd St. Minneapolis, MN 55415 (612) 377-2224 www.guthrietheater.org
Minnesota Opera
World-class opera draws you into a synthesis of beauty; breathtaking music, stunning costumes & extraordinary sets. Performances at the Ordway Music Theater - 345 Washington St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (612) 333-6669
www.mnopera.org
Minnesota Orchestra
Led by Music Director Designate Thomas Søndergård, the Minnesota Orchestra, one of America’s leading symphony orchestras.
1111 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 371-5656, (800) 292-4141 www.minnesotaorchestra.org
Ordway Center for the Performing Arts
Leading performing arts center with two stages presenting Broadway musicals, concerts & educational programs that enrich diverse audiences.
345 Washington St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 224-4222 info@ordway.org www.ordway.org
Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus
An award-winning chorus building community through music and offers entertainment worth coming out for! 1430 W. 28th St., Ste. B Minneapolis, MN 55408 (612) 339-SONG (7664) chorus@tcgmc.org www.tcgmc.org
RELIGIOUS
& SPIRITUAL
All God’s Children Metropolitan Community Church
A welcoming, inclusive, safe place to explore and discover God’s love for ALL God’s children.
3100 Park Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55407 (612) 824-2673 www.agcmcc.org
Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church
Everyone is welcome at Hennepin Church! Vibrant Worship. Authentic Community. Bold Outreach. 511 Groveland Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 871-5303 www.hennepinchurch.org
Plymouth Congregational Church
Many Hearts, One Song; Many Hands, One Church. Find us on Facebook and Twitter. 1900 Nicollet Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 871-7400 www.plymouth.org
St. Anthony Park United Church of Christ
We are an Open & Affirming, Progressive Christian Community. Real Church. Real People. Real Life. 2129 Commonwealth Ave. St. Paul, MN 55108 (651) 646-7173 www.sapucc.org
Westminster Presbyterian Church
An open and affirming congregation, welcoming persons of all sexual orientations, gender expressions and identities. 1200 Marquette Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 332-3421 www.westminstermpls.org
SENIOR LIVING
Lyngblomsten Community Services
Empowering older adults to live well at home through caregiver support, memory-loss enrichment, & wellness education.
1415 Almond Ave. St. Paul, MN 55108 (651) 632-5330 www.Lyngblomsten.org/CServices
Senior Community Services
Providing non-medical services that meet the changing needs of older adults & support their caregivers. 10201 Wayzata Blvd., Ste. 335 Minnetonka, MN 55305 (952) 541-1019 www.seniorcommunity.org/lav
SOCIAL SERVICES
Friends & Co
Fostering meaningful connections for older adults for 50+ years. Offering quick drop-in chat line, phone & visiting companionship services.
2550 University Ave. W., Ste. 260-S St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 721-1400
www.friendsco.org
Lutheran Social Service of Minnesota
Serving all Minnesotans with individualized services that promote full and abundant lives.
lssmn.org | (651) 642-5990 | (800) 582-5260
Foster Care and Adoption | chlss.org | (651) 646.7771
PICS (Partners in Community Supports) | (651) 967-5060
Pooled Trust | (888) 806-6844
Supported Decision-Making | (888) 806-6844
TRAVEL DESTINATIONS
Westopolis
Minnesota’s Sweet Spot! St. Louis Park & Golden Valley offer exceptional dining, attractions, shopping, hotels and event space.
1660 Hwy 100 S., Ste. 501 St. Louis Park, MN 55416 (952) 426-4047 www.westopolis.org
‘Overcompensating’: Your Number One Gay Summer Streaming Show
“Overcompensating” on Prime Video is my top summer pick for pure escape — and isn’t that what summer’s all about?
It’s a coming-of-age, coming-out story centered around a closeted college jock trying to live his truth while fearing he’ll lose his popularity among his frat and jock friends if he does. Sounds like a drama, right? But it’s anything but. The laughs come fast, the surprises keep you hooked, and you’ll find yourself guessing which guy Benny will finally end up with — if he can get past his fear and come out.
But there’s still drama — the kind we all know. The kind that comes with finally owning who you are, letting your friends in and waiting for their acceptance. Or in Benny’s case, letting them try to set him up for his first time … but is it really his first time?
When I was disrupting live TV shows in the 1970s to demand representation, this is the kind of story I was dreaming about. A gay romance I could actually relate to — not just another ver-
sion of a straight love story. And it’s a series that speaks to something we’ve all experienced: the fear that coming out could shatter everything and the bravery it takes to do it anyway.
Benito Skinner — the writer and star — handles it all with heart, wit and brilliance. Every episode leaves you wanting more.
If you liked “Love, Simon” or “Heartstopper,” this is the more grown-up version — smarter, deeper and full of moments that hit home. It’s not a simple script. It’s got brains. It’s got soul. You feel Benny’s joy, his longing to be himself and the pressure that keeps him in the closet.
I’ll admit, this one hits especially hard for me. This is the kind of visibility I’ve spent my life fighting for — and sometimes getting arrested for. When I launched a campaign in the ’70s to force the networks (no streaming back then!) to include LGBTQ+ people, there wasn’t a single openly gay person in front of or behind the camera.
That campaign helped start a conversation — one that eventually led to people like Anderson Cooper and Rachel Maddow being seen and heard, and stories like this becoming part of our cultural mainstream. I have to admit, it gives me a deep sense of pride and yes, I still get emotional when I see our community represented as real, fully human characters.
And here’s the best part: it’s created by someone from our community.
Benito Skinner should take great pride in knowing that somewhere out there, a young gay person is watching this show — and maybe, just maybe, it’s helping them feel seen. It could be a lifesaver. Because visibility matters. It reminds us we’re not alone.
Mark Segal is an American journalist. He is the founder and publisher of Philadelphia Gay News and has won numerous journalism awards for his column “Mark My Words,” including best column by The National Newspaper Association.
