THE PHONE BOOTH TRAVELS WITH AUSTEN, PHD
(PRIVATELY HOME-SCHOOLED DOG) Until recently the only phone booth in Lanesboro was located next to the Haugen building on Parkway Avenue. It’s a rarity and may well be the only phone booth in all of Fillmore County. The phone booth has been a source of entertainment for years. Austen feels that it’s unfortunate that such a legendary sidewalk feature has been moved to the History Center and has been repurposed as an interactive exhibit. It has a new life as a ‘Storytelling Kiosk’! The pay phone pretty much outlived its usefulness years ago, but Lanesboro is a town filled with old buildings; some are actually historic. To me, the phone booth falls somewhere between being old and being historic. Ironically it’s kept in working condition, but it’s actually never used. Most historic buildings in Lanesboro are from the pioneer days or the Victorian era. The phone booth, in gleaming aluminum, doesn’t quite fit the definition of a historic pioneer store-front or a stately Victorian B&B. But in a town where the Irish and the Norwegians rarely throw anything away (just because it’s obsolete), the phone booth has stood the test of time.
Until recently Austen and I lived in an era when most modern pay phones would accept credit cards. Not this one. The pay phone on Parkway Avenue is a relic of another era, when phones were designed to accept nickels, dimes and quarters. Austen, being a millennial, wouldn’t recognize anything except an I-phone or an Android. To him, even flip phones are ancient devices. So, what’s the phone booth to him? It’s where he would occasionally . . . . . . . ! To the many tourists who come to Lanesboro in the summer, the phone booth had actually become the most photographed building in town. It had been situated inconspicuously on the sidewalk next to a building that’s owned by the local telephone company. Like the phone booth, the building is well maintained but never used. Unlike the phone booth, the building has never become a curiosity. The phone booth became a source of amusement for a group of retired old geezers who gather on the sidewalk across the street, in front of a popular deli. In the summer they gather every day about three or four o’clock for coffee and conversation (rumor
control). Occasionally Austen and I join them for a friendly game of cards but we generally just enjoy watching people and passersby. The old geezers enjoy being ambassadors. They also enjoy being pranksters. Often, when they would see a group of tourists approaching the phone booth, one of them would reach for his cell phone and dial up the pay phone across the street. A gathering of people in front of the booth would stare at the phone inside, become confused, and wonder if they should answer the phone – perhaps to take a message for someone who had just missed a call. Once deciding that it would be OK to answer the call, they would be seen struggling to open the door. The door is a simple bi-fold door that any child can use if you push in on it at the center, but to the uninitiated it becomes totally frustrating – and funny. It would seem that we old geezers are easily entertained.
2021-22 EDITION
From Lanesboro, where it’s always 65 and sunny (except today). Richard Wolfgramm: Pops, Dad, Papa, Uchu, Uncle Richard, and Mr. R.
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