Kids on the Coast Magazine - Gold Coast - Issue 30 by Shore Media

IssUe 30 DEC 2o10/JAN 2011

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laces to do, p for things g verythin the to go, e on arents kids & p GOLD COAST

GOLD COAST www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

Christmas with Santa The challenge of choosing a school

Snack for success

y l i Fam

: s e t i r u o v a f you avoid it? can

Surviving

step-parenting

PLUS NEWS, CHECK THIS OUT, REVIEWS, COMPETITIONS & CALENDAR

“The Secret that can improve your health and save you thousands in 2011” bodybrilliant chiropractic

Would you like to save lots of money next year, and every year? Well, if you’re like most people, the answer is a resounding yes! The funny thing is, most people have no idea about the secret I’m about to tell you, but more and more are learning about it each day. Have you ever wondered why there is so much talk these days about having good posture and enjoying vibrant health? Well, we are going to tell you. In fact, we are going to tell you some things about this amazing body of yours that you’ve probably never heard before. Things that could possibly transform your health. And some things that just might stop you from automatically running to the medicine cabinet. You probably already know that your body is an amazing creation. When you don’t feel well or have pain, your body is trying to tell you something. It’s giving you a warning signal. That sounds simple enough. But here’s what it means. When your car’s oil light comes on, it’s telling you that something isn’t right under the bonnet. What’s the solution? What would you think of a mechanic who tells you “stick a piece of sticky tape over that annoying light” or “reach under the dash and snip the feeding wire?” Insane! Of course you wouldn’t do that. You’d find a new mechanic. Suppose you have a headache. So you take some sort of painkiller. Maybe the headache eases a little. If it does, has the drug done anything to correct the cause? Not a chance. The only thing that drug has done is cover up the pain. You’ve eliminated the oil light but you haven’t fixed the engine. So the problem will keep coming back until it is addressed properly, or just stops working altogether. We have worked with hundreds of people who have been in that boat. We are sure you can relate to this. In fact, maybe you are in that situation right now. People want options. We find that people are thinking more these days. They are sick and tired of just having their pain or symptoms covered up with drugs. They want options and they want the truth. And, they want to save money whilst doing so. As a result, we see all sorts of people with all sorts of problems.

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People come to us for help and advice with headaches, migraines, chronic back pain, neck pain, shoulder/arm pain, whiplash from car accidents, asthma, allergies, numbness in the limbs, colic, bedwetting, stomach problems, sports injuries, and fatigue, just to name a few. Several times a day people thank us for helping them with their health problems. But we can’t take the credit. We have never healed or cured anyone of anything. What we have done is shared with them the secret… So what is it that people are learning that can improve their heath and save them thousands? They are learning that it is just plain smart to focus on correcting their poor posture, addressing the cause of their health issues, and implementing strategies to improve their health first, before taking other measures (like covering warning lights up, snipping the feeding wire or ignoring the problem altogether). Poor posture is a lifetime scenario for most people. A lot of health practitioners talk about the importance of having good posture, and know that poor posture is bad and good posture is good. But few can offer assistance towards the long term correction of poor posture. Having your mum or nanna, or someone else ell at you to “stand up straight” is all well and good, but what if you can’t? Continual poor posture could be costing you thousands! Nobel Prize winners and brain researchers state that “over 90% of the brain’s energy is tied up in relating the body to gravity. The more postural problems that exist the less energy one has for thinking, metabolizing and healing”. Other researchers have found that “just the weight of a 5 cent coin pressing against a nerve can shut down that nerve’s function by up to 60%. ”If you or a loved one is needlessly suffering from poor posture or other health issues, you have another option. It all begins with a thorough history and consultation, including a complete spinal exam, vital nerve testing and specific weight-bearing x-rays, if indicated. Normally this evaluation would cost $210. However, through this special offer, you can receive this complete evaluation for just $45. Because of the response expected, we can only guarantee availability for the first 20 people who call and schedule for an appointment.

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CONTeNTS December 2010 / January 2011 34

6 Welcome to

Kids on the Coast

FEATURE Family favouritism 3

WELCOME

WHAT’S NEWS

FEATURE

20 WHAT’S ON CALENDAR The Kids on the Coast guide to December/January

ew & innovative ideas in N parenting

12 THE “P” FILES Negotiating step-parenting

It is time to finish writing my NEXT book. It is with sadness (and a little trepidation) therefore, that I bid farewell to my role as editor of Kids on the Coast. What a wonderful couple of years this has been! I have enjoyed sharing your stories and a few of my own. I have enjoyed learning from inspirational people from all walks of life and being a small part of a wonderful team of dedicated women. I won’t be gone completely… I hope you will be seeing my name on an article every now and again... so, it’s not goodbye… but just adieu! Sarah Pye, Editor www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

34 HAPPY HOLIDAYS Christmas with Santa

Choosing a school

10 CHECK THIS OUT

Graduation from primary school

22 EDUCATION

Family favouritism

Like many of us, when I reflect on my past I can identify many crossroads. The decision chosen while standing at those junctions has shaped the person I have subsequently become. I find myself at one of those junctures right now: publishing my first guidebook was the realisation of a dream, and building on its success (while giving the magazine the time it deserves) is stretching the 24 hour clock beyond recognition.

32 LET’S CELEBRATE

36 book & web reviews

27 BABIES ON THE COAST Planning your family

37 MOVIE reviews 38

30 ONLY NATURAL Snack for success

READ MORE ONLINE! .au www.kidsonthecoast.com

KIDS ON THE COAST DIRECTORY

Find us on Facebook

WHAT’S ON CALENDAR

Kids on the Coast magazine is printed with vegetable/soy based inks on paper supplied using pulp sourced from sustainable forests and manufactured to environmentally accredited systems. Kids on the Coast encourages recycling. Please keep this issue for future reference, pass onto your friends and family, use for craft projects or place into the recycling bin. PUBLISHED BY: THINGS 4 KIDS PTY LTD. PO Box 491, Eumundi QLD 4562 PHONE: 1300 430 320 FAX: 07 5476 6037 WEB: www.kidsonthecoast.com.au ABN: 86 473 357 391. All editorial in Kids on the Coast has been written in good faith based on material, verbal or written, provided by contributors. No responsibility is taken for errors or omissions and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All material in Kids on the Coast is subject to copyright provisions. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Feedback/comments/suggestions? Send to: editorial@kidsonthecoast.com.au We aim to reply to all correspondence but don’t guarantee to do so. Letters to the editor may be edited for length or clarity. PUBLISHER: Toni Eggleston ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER: Simone Bell EDITOR: Sarah Pye EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTORS: Maxine Arthur, Katharine Bogard, Wendy Buckley, Fran Maguire, Cindy Mayes, Kim Robins, Sandra Smith. ADVERTISING: For advertising enquiries please phone Tanya Ryan on 1300 430 320 or email: gc@kidsonthecoast.com.au LOCAL BUSINESS DIRECTORY: Speak with your advertising coordinator or email: gc@kidsonthecoast.com.au Production Department: Email: production@kidsonthecoast.com.au ADMINISTRATION: Kellie Kruger DISTRIBUTION: Kids on the Coast (Gold Coast edition) is a free publication circulating over 25,000 copies from Coomera to Coolangatta. A separate edition covers Townsville and the Sunshine Coast. For distribution enquiries please phone: 1300 430 320 or email: admin@kidsonthecoast.com.au FRONT COVER: MEGAN SLADE PHOTOGRAPHY GRAPHIC DESIGN: Leisa Jones, Michelle Craik

DECEMBER 2010 / january 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

S ' HAT W

S W Ne

Keep safe on beaches this Summer

It is impossible w to lick your elbo

Rips, huge swells and strong winds could lead to a more dangerous summer than ever on Gold Coast beaches. Forecasters and surf lifesaving experts have predicted a large number of rescues and beach closures caused by unpredictable conditions. The most dangerous beaches are tipped to be Broadbeach, Kurrawa, Surfers Paradise and Southport, which on average have 8-10 lifesavers patrolling per beach.

70,000 KIDS TAKE ON READING CHALLENGE More than 70,000 students from more than 600 Queensland schools read more than one million books as part of this year’s successful Premier’s Reading Challenge, held from May 10 to August 27. All Prep to Year 7 students from state and non-state Queensland schools were invited to take part with activities such as listening to stories, shared reading or reading picture books for younger students. Each student was required to read 15 to 20 books each over a 16-week period, in an effort to boost literacy skills and support learning. Let’s keep opening those books and encouraging the love of reading from an early age. Well done, bookworms!

In Sweden, there is a ‘ski-thru’ McDonald s

Wiggles release iPhone Apps For the first time ever, with just a touch of their fingertips, tiny fans can drive the Big Red Car, sip Rosy Tea with Dorothy and play dress-ups with the entire Wiggles gang! Staying true to The Wiggles philosophy of ‘education through entertainment’, each application contains cognitive, physical and social elements to help benefit preschoolers. You can download the applications through iTunes (check out the free colouring in application too).

PREMMIE TWINS FACE BRIGHT FUTURE Gold Coast bubs, Jackson and Keira Burgermeister are the picture of health after a rocky start to life. The twins were born four months premature last December, weighing little more than a tub of butter (550g and 810g). The all clear has come as a huge relief for the family, whose tiny tots have struggled to overcome many diseases and challenges. During their 102 day stay at Brisbane’s Mater Hospital, the extremely premature twins battled diseases such as brain tissue bleeding, chronic lung disease and problems with their hearts, lungs and ears. They were given less than a 70% chance of survival, but now have a bright future ahead.

e caps. Babies are born without kne child the il They don’t appear unt reaches 2-6 years of age

WISHING TREE FOR PEOPLE IN NEED It’s time to spread some Christmas joy and join in with Australia’s largest Christmas Gift Appeal by leaving a present under the ‘Wishing Tree’ at your local Kmart store before Christmas Eve. Last year, over 400,000 gifts were collected across the country and distributed by the Salvation Army to people in need. The concept first came about when an Adelaide Kmart employee suggested they use its network of stores as gift collection points, assisting charity groups at Christmas time. To find out more visit www.wishingtree.kmart.com.au or call 1800 124 125.

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Readers save money by shopping wherever

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KiDs on tHe CoAst – DECEMBER 2010 / JANUARY 2011

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• Rosemary Logan - 10% discount for KOTC readers

• Cedar Glen - Complementary bottle of local red or white wine plus a Cedar Glen drink bottle for each of the kids

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Prepare your child for the 2011 school year ADVERTISEMENT/LOCAL BUSINESS PROFILE

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As featured in Dr Norman Doidge’s best-selling book “The Brain That Changes Itself”

FEATURE

Family

favourites by Maxine Arthur If you like to see the sparks fly occasionally, ask the parents around the table (though not in front of the children) who is their favourite child. It’s an uncomfortable topic for some. Be prepared for an adamant denial of any family favouritism, followed by a chorus of “I treat all my children equally”. While horrified friends are still looking at you as if you have betrayed a basic tenet of parenthood, ask if their parents had a favourite child. You will likely be met with a different response. Most will identify the favourite sibling, perhaps themselves, and most can tell you why they were favoured.

Golden child or black sheep? Melbourne clinical psychologist and hypnotherapist Dr Janet Hall is the author of six books on parenting including Fight-free Families (Finch 2001). She describes a ‘family favourite’ as “The child who is seen as the golden one – the family sees their good points and exaggerates them and doesn’t see their bad points. They are favoured with positive attention, quality time and indulged in economically and given special opportunities.” Unpalatable as the idea is to parents, Australian and American research indicates that a majority of children can name the family favourite or the family ‘black sheep’. Macquarie University associate professor of psychology Dr Julie Fitness surveyed 70 university students on the topic of family favourites. “In line with the findings from other, larger-scale studies, nearly 69% of respondents reported there was a family favourite, with 48% reporting it was themselves, 35% reporting a brother, and 17% reporting a sister,” she says. “The most frequently reported reasons for favouritism were birth order (33% first or last born, never the middle); sex (23% being the only boy or girl in the family); goodness (21% talent, attractiveness, likeability) and similarity to a parent (19%).”

KiDs on tHe CoAst – DECEMBER 2010 / JANUARY 2011

On the other hand, 80% of respondents could also identify the family ‘black sheep’, sometimes in the extended family. Students who identified themselves in this category believed it was because they were different to the rest of the family – in looks, personality, talents or interests. They felt they did not belong.

The first born child Single dad Andrew Thomas says his family is his world. He has two daughters aged 13 and 11 and a new partner who shares in the girls’ upbringing. Andrew frankly admits that his older daughter is his favourite because they just seem to get along better. “We just have a better rapport. She is a self-reliant kid,” he says. “She goes out of her way to help other people. She has earned my respect and I give it. She knows what she wants and knows how to get it. “She’s a very good organiser. We don’t make many plans in our family without her having a say.” Unlike many parents who have a favourite who is similar in many ways to themselves, Andrew says his younger child is more like him. He tends to push her hard to achieve because he feels he didn’t strive hard enough as he was growing up. Andrew tries hard not to show favouritism, but he suspects both daughters know who the favourite is. However, he believes they communicate well and can talk through any perceived ‘unfairness’. Andrew says his mum spoils the older girl sometimes with expensive presents, saying that she is more responsible and has earned it. Andrew then tries to make up the difference by giving the younger daughter a similar gift when she reaches the same age.

Is it possible to treat children equally? Why do parents have difficulty with the idea of a family favourite? In my own family, we used to catch my mum offering the youngest of four the last piece of cheesecake and chorus loudly, “Well, you always were the favourite”! Mum would www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

immediately launch into denial. It was a joke with a kernel of truth from adult children who felt comfortable acknowledging the fact. She loved us equally but treated us differently. And now, as a mum, I understand her problem with the word ‘favourite’. My two girls have my unconditional love and support but they are two very different individuals. If I have avoided the pitfalls of rampant favouritism, I have certainly had times when one of them was least favoured because of her behaviour. The two-year-old who turned into a terrorist when the new baby arrived didn’t win any brownie points, but she did when she turned into a kid who never had to be nagged about homework. The chronically messy one still isn’t my favourite when I am in housekeeping mode, but she is when she makes us all laugh at the dinner table.

Is it wrong to have a favourite? Washington DC clinical psychologist Dr Ellen Libby wrote The Favorite Child. She believes that most parents favour one child over another and that in itself is not a bad thing. It is just a fact. “Each child is an individual and so is each parent,” she says. “It is perfectly natural that a given child and a given parent have a special resonance; sometimes it is brief and sometimes it is more permanent.” There are positives and negatives to being the favoured child. Favourites can develop more confidence, determination and effectiveness, and achieve well in their careers. But Dr Libby warns of the downside. “There are dangers inherent in being the favourite child,” she says. “Unbridled confidence can be accompanied by feelings of entitlement and little, if any, realisation that there are consequences for actions. For example, Tiger Woods, an only child (and therefore automatically the favourite child) said in a recent press conference commenting on his affairs, ‘I played by a different set of rules’. The rules

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DECEMBER 2010 / january 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

FEATURE of character that applied to others did not apply to him. He believed that he could do what he wanted without being held accountable for his behaviour. He gave no thought to the consequences of his actions on the people around him.”

more attention, and another allowed a privilege at a certain age, children may well accept that it is fair. With no explanation, children may believe it is because they are unworthy or unloved.

Dr Libby also points to the possibility that the favoured child may live their lives trying to maintain favoured status and, ultimately, come to resent it. They may crack under the pressure of living up to parental expectations.

Dr Libby says children can appreciate and accept special bonds in the family.

“As children grow-up, a major task to be accomplished, necessary for their healthy functioning, is to learn to feel secure in the world without requiring ongoing parental affirmation,” she says. Parental favouritism may have negative consequences for the siblings of the favoured child. “Children who have never felt this affirmation …often live their lives looking for this validation. They look to others to choose them as they had hoped their parents would,” Dr Libby says.

“They easily accept that the athletic parent and sibling have a unique bond; or the specialness that may exist between a parent and difficult sibling,” she says. “When the favourite child status is rotated among children, all children are likely to feel the security of their parents’ love and not feel damaging resentment when other siblings are favoured.” So favouritism may be a transient thing. Mum may favour the teenage daughter because they enjoy shopping together. Dad clicks with the ten-year-old soccer player and the daughter who is a computer whiz like him.

“Since no one can fill the void created by parental neglect or oversight, these unfavoured children often grow up insecure and not believing themselves lovable.”

Minnesota mother of three Sue Wilson hit upon an idea that worked for her young family. She started a ‘Child of the Day’ rotation when her kids were in preschool. She found it stopped every argument over who gets the best seat, the last sweet, the first turn. She simply asked, “Who is Child of the Day?”

Making every child feel special

Relatives who play favourites

Of course, parental favouritism is only a problem when one child receives preferential treatment consistently to the detriment of other children in the family. Most parents, quite rightly, don’t want to play favourites. They don’t want to show partiality. But they don’t necessarily treat all their children the same. Each child has a different personality and different needs, therefore different responses from their parents are called for. If parents explain the reasons why a new-born is receiving

Perhaps you have mastered the art of making each of your children feel special at different times and for different reasons. They feel secure in your love and aren’t upset when it is a sibling’s turn in the limelight. But along come the grandparents with a different preference. What can you do when THEIR favourite receives too many expensive presents, too much attention and can do no wrong? It’s a problem faced in many Australian households at Christmas in particular.

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Of course, unguarded favouritism in the form of unflattering comparisons, hurtful remarks and put downs are cruel and damaging to self-esteem. For the sake of your child, a calm but firm line needs to be taken. But let’s assume that the relative loves all your children and would not intentionally hurt any of them. They may just enjoy the company of one over the other, feel more comfortable with a particular age group, or see a ‘carbon copy’ of a much-loved son or daughter. They may be unaware that others feel neglected or not have considered the possibility of spoiling the favoured child. If you are generally on good terms, and feel you can remain calm and positive, you may wish to talk to them about the issue. Ask why they have developed a special bond with the child. Point out the positive things you see in this relationship. Then ask if they have noticed that the others are feeling a bit left out. Encourage them to talk about ways to improve the situation. Try to find opportunities for the grandparents to get to know the other children better. Agree on some guidelines for presents and maybe even suggest time spent doing something together like cooking with gran, or working in the garden with pop as an alternative to buying presents. Encourage your children to make things for their grandparents and talk to them on the phone, so the giving is not all one way. If you feel a child is suffering and the situation does not improve despite your efforts it may be time to consider the professional help of a psychologist or family therapist. Dr Libby sees no problem in having favourites – just make sure each child is made to feel special often. “If all children believed they were the favourite, we’d have a nation of confident, successful people,” she says.

Tips to survive and thrive this Christmas season By Anne Hollonds, Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277

Budget well and plan ahead Try to work together as a team, rather than aim to be the ‘Masterchef’ yourself Have realistic expectations of yourself and of others Find time each day to ‘chill out’ Spread your family visits out over a few days Practice forgiveness – it will make you feel better Limit your intake of alcohol – behaviour can get out of hand Listen and show respect Agree to disagree on issues Say thank you often

And finally, don’t try to resolve year long hurts or disagreements on Christmas Day

The Favourite Child

FURTHeR ReADING

By clinical psychologist Ellen Weber Libby Dr Libby explores why parents, consciously or unconsciously, choose a favourite child as well as the long-term pros and cons of being the golden child. She also discusses how parents can make each of their children feel favoured and maintain a healthy emotional balance for all family members. ADVERTISEMENT/LOCAL BUSINESS PROFILE

Beat the sneezing, wheezing and itching The change in season from spring to summer can bring out the allergies in kids. You can’t stop nature from running its natural course but you can stop hay fever from stopping them in their tracks. The summer can also bring bouts of eczema and heat rashes, perhaps affecting your baby for the first time. Before using a plethora of antihistamines and creams, pay a family visit to Medical Sanctuary’s naturopath/homeopath John Burchill. John encourages parents to examine the fundamentals of their child’s health addressing core issues and enabling the child’s own immune system to identify and correct problems. Seasonal conditions can represent underlying dysfunctions that can be rapidly and effectively treated through the application of homoeopathy, naturopathy and integrative medicine. Visit www.themedicalsanctuary.com.au or phone: 5564 5013.

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How to enter: Spend over $50 in a Pines Retail store including Kmart or over $100 in Coles or Woolworths to receive an entry form. Fill in the details and place your entry in the barrel located next to Mister Minit. Draw Dates: Draw 1: Saturday 20 November DRAWN Draw 2: Saturday 4 December Draw 3: Saturday 18 December Competition begins at 9.00am on Monday 1st November 2010 and closes at 12.00pm on Saturday 18 December 2010.Winner drawn at 12.05 on each draw date. Barrel emptied after each draw. Terms and conditions available at barrel outside Kmart.

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K C e CH

THIS OUT

our guide to interesting & essential bits & pieces Doggy dollars

Kids can now have a woofing time feeding their money bank. RRP: $29.95. Bite into it at Tango Lima, Masthead Way, Sanctuary Cove.

Throw and add

Keep throwing the chuck at the numbered pegs and be the first to reach exactly 50 points. RRP: $60.00. Available from www.klop.com.au

Creepy crawly helmet head This UPF50+ insect friend covers your kids’ helmet with a legionnaire flap. RRP: $24.99. Find it at Mikes Bikes, Miami, 1926 Gold Coast Highway.

Masterful meal

It’s a masterpiece at every meal with these creative placemats. RRP: $19.95 for 50. Available from www.gadgetking.com.au or phone: 03 9510 8000

Plan in style

Organise your family’s schedule with magnetic activities and calendar. RRP: $29.50. Grab it from The Butterfly Tree Markets, The Arts Centre, Gold Coast on December 5 or visit: www.magneticmoves.com.au

No picking this lock

Contain your medicines & lock your kids out, with a container that’s still easy for adults to open. RRP from $19.95-$49.95 depending on size. Available at Achieve Locksmiths, Shop 17B, Oxenford Square 100, Old Pacific Hwy, Oxenford or visit: www.shop4kids.com.au

Record your Christmas memories

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Helping students excel

Lindisfarne Anglican Grammar School has one over-riding focus: helping our students excel in life. We achieve this through a balanced learning program that ensures students achieve their academic potential while accumulating important life skills. Lindisfarne Grammar has an integrated three-school structure with smaller class sizes and state-of-the-art classrooms with a strong technology focus. The school consists of an Early Learning Centre for Pre-school and Kindergarten (equivalent to Prep in Queensland), a Primary School for Years 1-6 and a Secondary School for Years 7-12. Preschool Program Our Preschool Program is the perfect starting point for your child’s education as it prepares them for their primary school years through inquiry-based and play-based learning designed to stimulate children’s natural curiosity. The program also has a strong focus on the developmental foundations for literacy and numeracy. Our teaching style is interactive and incorporates many of the principles consistent with our Primary School philosophy of brain-compatible learning. By observing, listening, and talking with the children about their play and thinking, our Preschool staff are able to support and encourage learning experiences. Our teachers focus on developing: • communication skills with peers and adults • problem solving through play • symbolic understandings important for literacy and numeracy • social independence Any child who turns four by April 30 can be enrolled in our Preschool program.

Kindergarten (equivalent to Prep in Queensland) Our Kindergarten Program is the first year of formal schooling in New South Wales and is equivalent to the Prep Program in Queensland. This year level begins the journey towards more formal literacy and numeracy learning, while maintaining aspects of our Preschool’s play-based program. Key teaching practices are guided by the Early Stage One of the NSW Syllabus and incorporate: • awareness of key developmental stages in speech, language & fine motor skills • hands-on learning experiences for both literacy and numeracy • brain-based and inquiry-based learning • visual-based teaching strategies • phonemic awareness-based literacy learning Why do people choose Lindisfarne Grammar? Parents entrust their children into our community because we provide quality education complemented by a pastoral care program that nurtures personal, social and academic wellbeing from Preschool/Kindy through to Year 12. Our structured academic program has a strong literacy focus and recognises each student’s particular strengths and individual abilities. This is supported by a comprehensive co-curricular program that includes a wide range of sports, studies in performing arts and recreational activities. This combination of academic and co-curricular activities, supported by pastoral care, helps our students develop as confident, independent and rounded individuals. To give your child the gift of an education at Lindisfarne Grammar, please contact 5590 5099.

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THE ‘P’ Files

One step at a time

Negotiating a step-parenting relationship

by Sandra Smith

You’ve met a special someone, and you’re getting along like a house on fire. You commit to the dream relationship, but as the initial rosy glow fades, you are faced with the stepchildren. They may be noisy toddlers or they may be angst-ridden teenagers. They may be angry or sad, scared or confused. They’re not emotionally connected to you, and in fact, you may struggle to connect with them on any level.

You discover that television’s cute blended family, the Brady Bunch, is a fantasy. Surprised, you find that the myth of the wicked stepmother and the villainous stepfather lives on, and you begin to feel stigmatised, insecure and isolated. So how do you learn to cope with the role of step-parent, and how do you ensure that the stepfamily evolves into a warm, caring and secure household?

A time of transition One in every five Australian families is now a stepfamily, as the traditional nuclear family changes and, for some, becoming a step-parent is a transition that evolves naturally after a new relationship begins. Queensland stepmum Julie says she started out as a friend to her new partner’s two children, aged four and six, and her relationship with the children gradually evolved over time.

“I have a special, different, other relationship with them,” she says. “I am not their parent and I am not their friend. I am somewhere in between, and that’s a really nice place to be.” It hasn’t all been plain sailing for Julie’s family, and special occasions like Christmas have been challenging, but she says they have created new family traditions that don’t focus on traditional celebrations. They now enjoy an annual family camping trip at Easter when there is less pressure and expectation than Christmas (and therefore less likelihood of disappointment on other special occasions). “We’ve found that just by being flexible and taking turns, it’s worked out okay,” she says.

“I was easily accepted because I was someone fun to be around and we had a good time together,” she says.

Having different parenting styles can create conflict, and Julie relies on her husband to be the “conduit of communication” between her and the kids’ biological mum, so they can “work things out”.

However, after Julie and her new partner had biological children of their own, she says the family dynamics changed and she had to “find a place for the stepchildren in that picture”.

“I’ve always been really careful to not overstep my boundaries and to never, ever offer parenting advice or criticise them in any way,” she says.

“Like any family when a new sibling is born, you have all those issues around rivalry and jealousy, and the risk of over-indulging one over the other,” she explains. “It’s just constantly evolving.”

Julie says her family is far from perfect, but she believes that their issues are all very normal. Life is good for Julie and she embraces her large stepfamily and the chaos that it brings.

Julie admits that she doesn’t have the same bond with her stepchildren as she does with her three biological children, though she does love and respect them.

“With five kids and all the craziness and noise and mayhem and all the exciting stories and dramas that unfold, there’s never a dull moment,” she laughs.

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THE ‘P’ Files When stepfamilies fall apart When stepfamily relationships break down, vulnerable children are often caught in the middle of the conflict. Queensland dad Simon says his parents divorced when he was two years old and he grew up with multiple step-parents, step-siblings and half-siblings. “I had a lot of step-parents to juggle and changes in my life that I had no control over,” he says. “As a child you may appear to be coping with that, but it leaves a big mark that doesn’t go away.” Simon acknowledges that some people do a great job of step-parenting, but his own childhood was a battlefield and he recalls that he had to grow up too fast. “Managing all those relationships did become very complex,” he remembers. “My experiences as a stepchild have coloured my world view.” Although he was never physically or emotionally abused, Simon felt that he became a pawn in the adult relationships, as their issues were projected onto him. “They had a lot of growing up to do themselves,” he says. “Stepkids can become symbolic of other problems in the relationship, and it’s very easy for the people to get hung up on stepkid issues because they make a great scapegoat.” He says that adults believe their children’s resilience will protect them, but he warns that residual problems don’t just “go away” and children are affected for many years in the future. “It’s really, really easy for parents to look at their kids’ outward appearances and assume that because those things all look okay, everything is okay,” he says. “The cracks in the relationships didn’t appear when we were little, it was more as we got older.” Now happily married with children, Simon says his unstable childhood has motivated him to work hard on his own marriage, so it will stand the test of time.

“It makes you realise at a very early age that adults can be fallible and relationships are hard work and complex,” he says. “My wife has seen, through me, the damage that it causes. It certainly helps us to stay very committed in our relationship, so hopefully it’s not being dragged through another generation.”

Getting it right The step-parent role comes without a job description, and there is often a melting pot of emotions and complex family relationships to deal with. So, how can stepparents get it right? The first step is to seek out information and develop a set of guidelines that will work for you and your stepfamily.

Nurture relationships Relationship dynamics are complex for most stepfamilies, as they navigate a confusing array of ex-partners and new partners, biological children and stepchildren, and extended families. This places a lot of stress on step-parents, and often leaves children feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Try to accommodate and communicate with all members of each household, and show respect for everyone. Remember that a close, loving relationship with your stepchildren may not happen for many years. Steve Martin, executive officer of Stepfamilies Australia, says that developing healthy relationships takes time, so new stepsiblings should receive support and understanding, not pressure to feel as though they have to love or like each other.

Be flexible Christmas and special occasions can be a stressful time for stepfamilies, because problems are compounded by divided loyalties, competition and emotional upheaval. Add in extra complications like ex-spouses, custody agreements, multiple grandparents and financial strain, and it makes for a turbulent time, with children all too often caught in the middle.

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Negotiate and create a shared vision. You can’t please everyone, but with flexibility, careful planning and realistic expectations, a compromise can be found. Maintain a strong couple bond and make joint decisions with your new partner.

Have realistic expectations Don’t expect too much too soon, and don’t feel like a failure if the stepfamily is going through a rough patch. Your new stepfamily won’t be the same as any other family you’ve been in. Take a long-term view to problem-solving, because issues will continue to arise and evolve as children grow and the family changes.

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THE ‘P’ Files The Do’s and Don’ts of Step-parenting

Find support Ask for help along the way when you need it, from your partner, trusted friends and support networks. Learn more about stepfamilies by reading books, visiting websites and talking to other step-parents. Attend workshops and find out how other people have travelled this road.

Don’t

• Establish clear, open family boundaries

• Push children into new family relationships – give them time and space

• Work as a team and make joint decisions with your new partner

• Assume everyone will get along well in the new stepfamily

Step-parents often don’t reach out for help, due to a fear of failure and family unit breakdown. They find that the dilemmas they face are difficult for friends and family to understand, and this can lead to lowered self-confidence and high levels of depression and anxiety.

• Create physical space for children, even if they are part-time members of the household

Families Relationship Services Australia (FRSA) executive director Samantha Page says that stepfamilies can experience strong and sometimes unexpected emotions.

• Make separate time for original family members

• Try to do it alone – seek out counselling and support when you need it

• Be prepared to share your new partner with his or her biological children

• Disengage or lose contact with your biological children when difficulties arise

• Plan rather than ‘let things happen’

• Resent the biological parent’s disciplinary style

“Some family members may be struggling to work out strategies, rules and roles for getting along together,” she says. “Others may be resisting the change and struggling with feelings of dislocation.”

• Show sensitivity to all the children and their differing needs

Stepchildren may also need support, as emotions that occurred during a marriage breakdown or the loss of a parent often resurface. Samantha says children’s feelings of dislocation or sadness may not be readily expressed and adults can be slower to recognise or respond to them.

• Take a long-term view and accept that solutions will evolve over time

“Children need space to talk about their feelings, concerns, fears and hopes,” she says. “Sometimes they might feel comfortable talking to their parents and step-parents, and other times they need to access other supports.”

• Have a big supply of goodwill to weather storms in the early years

• Show respect, gratitude and appreciation for all family members

• Ignore children’s emotions • Be a silent martyr if the stepchildren are behaving badly

• Expect the stepchildren to call you Mum or Dad • Exclude children from planning • Neglect your new partner

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THE ‘P’ Files Evolving as a family Despite the challenges, many stepfamilies survive and evolve into strong, nurturing families where the children thrive. Over time, the initial confusion and fear of change is replaced by stability, acceptance and commitment, as each family member grows and adapts in his or her own unique way to the stepfamily dynamics. Forming bonds with the stepchildren and finding new ways to parent won’t happen overnight, but the good news is that within five years many stepfamilies have resolved their early problems and have settled into a constructive rhythm. Sources: Stepfamilies Australia, Family Relationship Services Australia, and Margaret Howden’s Stepfamilies: Understanding and responding effectively a briefing paper developed for the Australian Family Relationships Clearing House. Support Networks for Parents Gold Coast Family Relationship Services Australia Phone: 1800 050 321 or visit: www.familyrelationships.gov.au Gold Coast Family Relationship Centre Phone: 5656 1700 or visit: www.familyrelationships.gov.au/goldcoastfrc Kids Helpline Phone: 1800 55 1800 or visit: www.kidshelp.com.au Lifeline Phone: 13 11 14 Men’s Line Australia Phone: 1300 789 978 Raising Children Network Visit: www.raising children.net.au Stepfamilies Australia Visit: www.stepfamily.org.au

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WHAT’S ON Calendar All December

December 4, 11 & 17

December 5

Zero to Five Market – Runaway Bay

2010 Myer Christmas Carols at Varsity Lakes

Where/when: Runaway Bay Indoor Stadium, Sports Avenue. The ultimate market for your children’s needs! A huge range of pre-loved baby, maternity and kids’ goods are on sale, from prams to cots and toys & books to clothes and shoes. There will be something fun for the kids too, like a jumping castle or face painting. Cost: Entry is $3 and kids are free Details: www.zero2five.com.au

Where/when: Central Park, Lakes Street Varsity Lakes from 5-8pm This event will see a variety of performers entertaining the crowds, as well as fireworks and attractions for children and a visit from Santa Claus. Cost: Free Details: www.varsitylakesonline.com.au

December 5

December 6, 13 & 20

December 10-12 & 17-19

Butterfly Tree Market

Infant Massage Course

Where/when: The Gold Coast Arts Centre,135 Bundall Rd, Surfers Paradise from 9am-2pm The Butterfly Tree is a unique boutique market for families with children aged from newborn to teen years. It offers an impressive collection of specially selected vendors with stunning handcrafted pieces including clothing, toys, bedding, decorator items and accessories. Find one-of-a-kind stylish items for the kids in a spacious family-friendly indoor venue. Cost: Free entry Details: www.thebutterflytree.com.au

Where/when: 6 Grovedale Court, Parkwood from 10am Learn how to relax your baby and gain more confidence and feel empowered to help your little one with sleeping, teething, reflux, colic, constipation and more. The course is led by Dot Bengough who is a certified IMIS infant massage instructor with more than eight years experience. Cost: $153 includes four sessions, manual and oil Details: www.babymassagegoldcoast.com.au

Cranky & Nasty Crocodile and Reptile Show

Movies by the Sea Where/when: Palm Beach Parklands, 945 Gold Coast Highway, Palm Beach from 6.30pm. An evening of cinema under the stars at the Palm Beach Parklands featuring such movies as The Lion King, The Sound of Music and High School Musical. There will be plenty of food available at the café and remember to bring a picnic blanket! Cost: Free Details: www.currumbinrsl.com.au

Where/when: Bearded Dragon Tavern, Junction of Beaudesert, Beenleigh Rd and Waterford Tamborine Rd, Tamborine on Mondays, Wednesdays and Sundays. A perfect day out for family and friends. Meet Cranky or Nasty, whoever is in the best mood on the day. Live displays of bearded dragons, lizards and snakes and cane toad racing as a special treat every Sunday night. Cost: Free admission Details: www.beardeddragon.com.au

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December 15 & January 11

Movie Stunt Experience Where/when: Stunt Park, 7027 Southport Nerang Road, Nerang (Behind Prana Centre) Sword fighting, circus skills, flying on wires and acting. Every program includes awesome demonstrations by Hollywood stunt instructors including High Falls and Human Torch. This program gives kids from the age of eight the opportunity to discover the fascinating industry of action movie making. Cost: Costs apply Details: www.moviestuntexperience.com

December 10-24

December 11 & 12

Christmas Lights Bus tours & public viewing

The Wiggles Greatest Hits Live in Concert

Where/when: Gold Coast In the weeks leading up to Christmas, the Gold Coast comes alive with a dazzling array of Christmas lights. The Gold Coast City Council has teamed up with Murrays Coaches to provide bus tours of the most impressive displays. Viewing lists will be available in the Gold Coast Bulletin to help plan your visit. Cost: Bus Tours: Adults $15, children $10, children under one free. Details: www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au or phone: 13 22 51

Where/when: Brisbane Entertainment Centre, Melaleuca Drive, Boondall The Wiggles Greatest Hits is coming home to Australia this December and for the first time ever, you get to pick the songs they sing! Join Jeff, Anthony, Murray and Sam as well as Dorothy the Dinosaur, Captain Feathersword, Wags the Dog and Henry the Octopus for this spectacular production. Cost: Seats cost $32.50 Details: www.brisent.com.au

December 18

Broadbeach Christmas Carols

4 ASD Kids Gala Ball

Where/when: 6pm Kurrawa Park, Old Burleigh Road, Broadbeach Celebrate the spirit of Christmas under the stars with entertainers such as The Australian Youth Chamber Choir. Santa will be there with his elves and this fantastic night entertainment will conclude with the incredible 92.5 Gold FM Christmas Fireworks display. Cost: Free Details: www.broadbeachgc.com

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Where/when: Warner Bros Movie World, Gold Coast Highway Six ‘White Christmas’ night time events featuring rides and attractions, a spectacular display of a million fairy lights, Christmas characters, Santa Claus and ice-skating. There’s also a special Polar Express 4D screening in the Roxy theatre and a dazzling Christmas parade under a glistening white snowy sky. Cost: Costs will apply Details: 133 FUN or visit: www.MyFun.com.au

11-12

Where/when: Woolshed Ballroom, Hyatt Regency, Sanctuary Cove, 7pm Enjoy a sumptuous three-course meal, followed by the 4 ASD Kids charity Auction. Special guests include Robbie McEwen, Matty Johns, Charlotte Dawson, Corinne Grant, Wallabies and Gold Coast Titans players. Bookings are essential. Cost: $220pp Details: www.4asdkids.com or phone: 5577 8353

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December 19

Christmas in the Village

Sanctuary Cove Community Christmas Concert

Where/when: Tamborine Memorial Hall, Tamborine Village, 6-9pm Details: Christmas in the village is jointly organised by the Lions Club and the Tamborine Music Club bringing Christmas cheer, carols and music to the Scenic Rim community. Food and drinks on sale. Glow sticks and programs with sing-a-long lyrics will be available. Cost: Free Entry Details: www.christmasinthevillage.webs.com

Where/when: Marine Village, Sanctuary Cove, 5pm Co-hosted by Mat Rogers & Chloe Maxwell, the community concert will feature performances by special guest artist Guy Sebastian, Casey Barnes, Special Olympic Dancers, 14-piece Big Band and an array of local youth talent. Santa Claus will also pay a visit. Cost: Free Details: www.4asdkids.com or phone: 5577 8353

A calendar of regular weekly events is available online. For details of playgroups, library activities, weekly sporting events, craft classes, Australian Breastfeeding Association meeting times and much more, visit www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

December 24

Carrara Markets

Where/when: Carrara Markets, Corner Gooding Drive and Manchester Road, Carrara. 7am-4pm Come and do all your last minute shopping at Carrara Markets. Freshest produce direct from local growers as well as the weekend market where you can be sure to get bargains, variety, fun, food and fresh produce. Santa will even be there to see the kids! Costs: Free entry Details: www.carraramarkets.com.au

December 26-January 30

Day out with Thomas 2011

December 25

Where/when: The Workshops Rail Museum, North Street, North Ipswich. All aboard! Meet Thomas the Tank Engine, The Fat Controller & their friends from the Island of Sodor. Day out with Thomas 2011 brings to life the popular Thomas & Friends book & television series with entertainment, interactive games & activities. Cost: Free with admission to the museum Details: www.theworkshop.qm.qld.gov.au

Christmas day

Merry Christmas 11-14

December 31

New Year’s Eve Fireworks

Where/when: Various Gold Coast locations Say goodbye to 2010 and enjoy the celebrations and entertainment being provided in a number of locations in the Gold Coast including Coolangatta, Surfers Paradise, and Paradise Point. Be sure to check the Gold Coast City Council website for a full list of locations. Cost: Costs may apply Details: www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au

January 11-14 & 18-21

January 23

Queensland Theatre of Puppetry

IGA Kids’ Music Festival Rhymes

Where/when: Gerda Pinter Pavilion, Macintosh Island Park, Gold Coast Highway. Call for times The Queensland Theatre of Puppetry is turning 40 in January and would like to invite readers to celebrate this milestone at the January show. Colourful and interactive, this show leads the audience on a journey to find the secret treasure. Children are encouraged to come dressed in their favourite pirate costume. Cost: $5 per person Details: www.qtop.org.au

Where/when: RNA Showgrounds 285 Gregory Terrace, Brisbane from 9am-4pm One huge day of kids’ live shows in the very first ever kids’ music festival featuring Yo Gabba Gabba, Hi-5, Ben 10, Angelina Ballerina and so much more. Cost: $35 Details: www.rhymesfestival.com.au

December 31

January 6-8

The Biggest & Best New Year’s Eve Celebrations

Disney Live! Presents Three Classic Fairy Tales

Where/when: 10am-9pm. Wet’n’Wild Water World, Oxenford 2010 is coming to an end and to celebrate, Wet’n’Wild will be hosting the Biggest’n’Best family New Year’s Eve Party on the Gold Coast. This event offers a host of complementary entertainment and activities in addition to the world class slides and attractions, ending in a fireworks display at 9pm. Cost: General Admission costs apply Details: www.wetnwild.myfun.com.au

Where/when: Gold Coast Convention and Exhibition Centre from 11am-12.30pm Time-honored stories of Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast will spring from the storybooks and onto the stage these summer holidays. Along the way you are invited to join the fun by solving clues, dancing, clapping along and singing songs as the stories unfold before your eyes. Cost: From $27.50 Details: www.disneylive.com.au

January 23

January 26

Where/when: Carrara Markets, Corner Gooding Dr & Manchester Road, Carrara. 7am-4pm People of all ages will be entertained for hours with free pony rides, merry-goround, entertainment and giveaways. The Animal Farm will be sure to keep the kids entertained. Face painting fairy, flying witches, snake handler, buskers & many unique and interesting stalls. Cost: Free entry Details: www.carraramarkets.com.au

Where/when: Evandale Parklands, 135 Bundall Road, Surfers Paradise 10am-5pm Rodeo thrills and spills, Big Top Precinct, all nations food court, wood chopping and the Dairy Farmer’s Billy Lids Playground. Cost: Free entry. $3 carnival rides. Free car parking at the Gold Coast Turf Club with free shuttle buses running all day. Details: www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au or phone: 5581 6877

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DECEMBER 2010 / january 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

education Choosing a

school by Kim Robins and Katharine Bogard

The task of choosing a school for your child can be quite time consuming and overwhelming, not to mention nerve-racking. Even the most calm and relaxed parents out there have been known to worry and lose sleep over choosing the ‘right’ school for their kids. Most parents tend to use their own experiences as a starting point when making a decision about their child’s education and schooling. For many though, the process can very quickly become involved, stressful and exhausting! By arming yourself with a little knowledge and a basic plan you can prevent the exercise from being an awful experience.

When do I actually start sending my child to school? The first time parents are faced with choosing a school is when their little one is due to enrol in Prep or an early childhood education program. Kindergarten, also known as Kindy or Pre-Prep, isn’t an official part of school education and it’s not compulsory. Kindy is only part-time and is available for children who turn four by June 30 the year they enrol. Early Childhood Management Services’ Cathy Tighe explains that Kindy is a play-based program and can help to stimulate children’s social, intellectual, physical and emotional development which helps prepare them for school. If you are unsure whether this is right for your child, Education Queensland’s website offers advice on the process, locations and benefits. If you forego Kindy, Education Queensland explains the preparatory year (prep) is the first year of school for children in Queensland. Although prep is non-compulsory, children are legally required to attend school when they are six years and six months old, so they should be enrolled in grade one when they reach this age. In the year that the child is enrolled for grade one, they must turn six by June 30. The enrolment dates at various schools differ.

their younger years and as they approach their adult life. Kids spend a large majority of their waking hours in the school environment so it’s understandable that you would like them to be attending a school where the influences are positive and the aspirations you have for your child are mirrored through school curriculum and policies.

Considerations for your child… No-one knows your child better than you, so when you are choosing a school for them consider their particular needs and abilities and whether the school has the appropriate support available. Independent Schools Queensland executive director David Robertson says factors “…such as a school’s curriculum, its discipline policies, its facilities, what extracurricular offerings are available, class sizes and pastoral care support” are important considerations. Mother of two Raelene Eves agrees that (for primary school children) other factors are more important than the curriculum. “Predominantly, I wanted to ensure the school I chose was interested in my child,” she says.

Tammy Mitchell was previously a secondary public school teacher, and has recently made the decision to send her child to a private school to begin prep next year. “A lucky thing for us was that the private schools interview a lot earlier than the public schools start recruiting... so I hadn’t put all my eggs in the one basket,” Tammy says.

“The school I have chosen (about 220 children) has a good curriculum and good policies, including a mentoring program to help new children adjust.

Where to start…

Education Queensland says other issues or considerations you may want to pursue are school size, assessment and reporting procedures, student and parental involvement, homework and assignment expectations, teaching methods and classroom environment, as well as out-of-school-hours care, fees and levies and appropriate class placement for your child.

Thinking about, and making a list of, your specific needs and the needs of your child is a good way to eliminate options that don’t fit the family’s ‘mould’. It can also save you time and energy. When it comes to choosing a school for your child you are basically deciding not only who will educate them but, just as importantly, who will be the best influence during

KiDs on tHe CoAst – DECEMBER 2010 / january 2011

“With the smaller numbers of children, the principal, teachers and staff know my child and me personally, and I believe that this helps stop my child getting ‘lost in the system’.”

Regardless of whether you choose the public or independent system, most schools www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

use guidelines and/or syllabuses set out by the Queensland Studies Authority to develop their own objectives, curriculum and school charter. Outside of the basic subjects, specialist subjects are considered based on the school’s philosophy, its community, whether it has a strong sports ethic, strengths in art or music, religion or a purely academic focus. However, in some cases it’s the teaching philosophy that’s different. Montessori International principal Chiray Fitton says the Montessori system focuses on developing the character and personality of the child rather than academia. “Everything is interrelated so Montessori tries not to fragment education into separate maths or science lessons,” she says.

What are my options? Knowing your options is a key factor in helping to decide on the best education environment for your child. Queensland has 1,760 schools comprising 1,300 public primary and high schools, 286 Catholic schools and 174 independent (or private) schools. Approximately 70% of students use the public system and 30% attend non-government or private schools. Home schooling is also an option that is slowly becoming more popular.

Types of schools State Education Queensland is responsible for providing education to all Queensland kids. Although the Department of Education and Training says school principals and parents and citizens associations may charge fees or ask for donations to fund resources, state school are generally regarded as free to Australian citizens. Catholic The National Catholic Education Commission (NCEC) explains that Catholic schools provide education for Australian students with a religious foundation. “Like all Australian schools, Catholic schools are accountable to governments and their local communities for meeting all the teaching and learning requirements of the state,” NCEC says.

“They also have distinctive goals and features which derive from a core of philosophical and theological truths.” Independent Independent Schools Queensland (ISQ) explains that nongovernment schools are also called independent schools. “Independent schools in receipt of Commonwealth and state funding are incorporated non-profit organisations,” ISQ explains.

Where am I? Queensland public schools have zoning restrictions which means if you live outside the school’s catchment area you are usually put on a waiting list in order of application. Particular criteria such as whether siblings attend the school and whether there is a child protection order in place are two of the main factors used to consider admissions. Zoning rules do not apply to independent schools but Independent Schools Queensland executive director David Robertson says it’s important to contact the school and find out about enrolment procedures. Like public schools, independent schools often give preference “…to siblings of enrolled children, children who live in the local area and children who attend the local affiliated church if it’s a religious school.”

Research… Once you have considered your specific needs it’s time to look at your options. “By researching school options and seeking as much information as possible parents can be more confident they will enrol their child in a school that best meets their needs,” David Robertson says. Research doesn’t necessarily mean countless boring hours scouring through piles of thick school prospectuses, brochures and reports (although they do have heaps of valuable and helpful information). Researching a school for your child can be interesting and fun. Websites are a fantastic source of information and you can even get a ‘feel’ for the school simply by browsing the different pages within their site.

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DECEMBER 2010 / january 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

education

Questions you may want to ask… • How available are teachers and staff to parents? • What’s the staff/student ratio?

The Australian Curriculum, Assessment and Reporting Authority (ACARA) has developed the My School website to enable parents to browse both private and public school profiles. My School provides information about the socio-economic status of the student body, student attendance rates, staff numbers, national literacy and numeracy testing results and contrasts these results with other schools.

Open days and interviews… Open days are fantastic because you can walk around the school, look at the facilities and meet the staff and other parents. You can observe the students and how they interact with each other, whether they appear happy and whether they act appropriately towards visitors and teachers. Coast mum Sharlene Latcham was faced with having to choose a new school for her son recently. “I attended several schools to look at the grounds and to meet teachers and staff so I could get a feel for how each school would suit our needs,” she says. “I was also really impressed with the interview process. This allowed us to meet the head of Middle School personally and questions were directed to both of us so my son felt he had a say…the research was definitely worth the effort,” she says. Mum Kim Timms also met with the school before making the decision to enrol her son. “The deputy principal who interviewed me volunteered heaps of information on their teachers... their commitment to building infrastructure, their commitment to all curriculum subjects, additional projects, and their sustainability projects. We also discussed fees and levies and explained how the levies get distributed across the many projects they had going and will be starting,” Kim says.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – DECEMBER 2010 / january 2011

• What are the behaviour management policies? • How is bullying handled? • What is the homework policy? • How many children per class? • How does the school support students with specific learning, language and/or cultural needs? • What are the schools reporting and assessment policies?

Other things to consider… • Does the school offer scholarships or bursaries? • Is the school single sex or coeducational? • Are there special arrangements to help you pay fees? • Do you want a separate primary school, secondary school or combined? • What is the school’s reputation? • What are the school’s values? • Does the school have a sense of community? • Were you made to feel welcome? • Are the staff and students happy? • Is the school well maintained? • Does it have air conditioning? • Are there plenty of undercover areas for play?

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3. Vocational Education: Through a range of courses, school based traineeships and school based apprenticeships, students can gain valuable work experience and certificates whilst accumulating credits towards their Queensland Certificate of Education. In addition to educational excellence, Trinity College has a wide variety of co-curricular activities inclusive of musical and cultural opportunities, programmed sporting activities and allowances for the development of special talents outside of college hours. They are designed to encourage and extend students’ interests, supporting their sense of worth and belonging and helping them to realise their potential. For more information on applications for enrolment, or to arrange a school tour or meeting, please call 0755 568200 or visit www.tlc.edu.au

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We look forward to welcoming your into our College community and working in partnership with you to realise the potential of your child.

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DECEMBER 2010 / january 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

education

Ask your friends… Word of mouth can also be helpful. If you have trusted friends and family who send their children to a particular school, ask them why they are happy with the school and their opinion on other aspects such as the curriculum, the teachers, communication with parents. Ask if they have had any negative experiences, and how they were handled by the school administration. Kim Timms did just that. “Reputation was key to my decision,” she says. “I spoke to a lot of local people to gain a feeling about the school. “I asked what they had heard and… if they believed it was a good school.”

Last but not least… Once you’ve got things a little clearer in your head, where practical, it’s a good idea to include your child in the decision-making process. Talk to them about your ideas and ask for their opinion and input. Listen to their concerns and you will almost certainly find they will be more accepting of the change and more likely to embrace the new environment when they get there. It may be time consuming initially but the hard work and research pays off. Not only will you feel confident in your decision but, when they bound through the door after the first day, throw their bag on the floor and announce that they’re ‘starving’, you will know they are happy too! For more information Queensland Studies Authority: www.qsa.edu.au Education Queensland: Sunshine Coast South District Office: 3881 9600 or visit: www.education.qld.gov.au Independent Schools Queensland: www.aisq.qld.edu.au Aussie Educator: www.aussieeducator.org.au National Catholic Education Commission: www.ncec.catholic.edu.au My School: www.myschool.edu.au

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When you have just had a baby, usually, the last thing on your mind is immediately having another one! So, to be sure this doesn’t happen again until you and your partner are ready, it’s important to consider the safe contraception options available to you, especially while you are breastfeeding. Some of you may be thinking “What? Sex in the first few weeks or months after giving birth? Are you kidding?” For many women, intimacy is definitely not high (or even existent!) on their ‘to do’ list once their new baby arrives. A recovering body, sleep deprivation and juggling the needs of other family members usually means most new mums don’t have the time, desire or energy for postnatal sex.

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BABIES ON

the coast But, for just as many new mums who don’t feel ‘in the mood’ there are many who do. There’s no right or wrong, but for mums who are ready to ‘take the plunge’ but aren’t keen on falling pregnant so soon after giving birth, it’s important to understand that even while you are breastfeeding it is possible to conceive. Thankfully, there are several methods of contraception that are not only effective, but are also considered safe for both mum and baby.

Continuous breastfeeding, or the Lactational Amenorrhea Method (LAM), is a popular choice for new mums who want to avoid pregnancy in the immediate months following childbirth. This is mainly because it’s convenient, natural, free, has no side effects and allows for greater sexual spontaneity. The tricky or important thing to remember is there is an actual method and criteria to fulfil if you want to use breastfeeding as a form of birth control – it’s not, as many have believed, a matter of simply breastfeeding. Continuous and frequent feeding is the key to the likelihood of success. What does this mean? For LAM to be successful it’s important to exclusively breastfeed your baby on demand both day and night. This usually means a minimum of six long feeds every 24 hours and not leaving a gap of more than four hours during the day or six hours at night between feeds. How effective is LAM? The Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA) says that exclusive breastfeeding is 98-99.5% effective in preventing pregnancy as long as the following conditions are met: • Your baby is less than six months old • Your menstrual periods have not yet returned • Baby is breastfeeding on cue (both day and night), and gets nothing but breast milk or only token amounts of other food

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Coast Mum Jenny’s second child was four months old she discovered she was pregnant with number three, and although she wouldn’t change the circumstances it was definitely a shock to her and her husband. “I think I was under a misconception because when my first was born, I didn’t take a mini pill and relied on breastfeeding as contraception…I didn’t fall pregnant with number two until later,” Jenny says. “Not falling pregnant so soon after my first I just assumed I wouldn’t conceive number three while I was breastfeeding.” Although breastfeeding, or LAM, can be an excellent natural method of birth control when implemented correctly, fertility times for women vary greatly. The baby’s feeding pattern and how sensitive mum’s body is to the hormones involved in lactation can impact on how effective LAM can be. The ABA recommends if you wish to avoid pregnancy in the first six months, or if menstruation has recommenced, it’s advisable to use some additional form of contraception.

If you like the idea of using your body’s natural rhythms and cycles to prevent pregnancy, another option is the Natural Family Planning (NFP) method. In this method, you track and record your body’s monthly cycle to determine when you are most fertile and when intercourse should be avoided. Family Planning Queensland (FPQ) explains that NFP methods require a woman to calculate and record their fertile days by “counting cycle length over a period of time or observing signs that ovulation (egg release) is about to or has occurred”. “During the fertile days a couple need to abstain from sexual intercourse or use a barrier method,” the organisation says. “Depending on the individual, sex may need to be avoided for 7-14 days during each menstrual cycle.”

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How effective is NFP? FPQ goes on to say that the effectiveness of NFP relies on motivation, length of time using the method and the type of method used to prevent a pregnancy. “If used correctly every time, these methods are 75-99% effective,” it says. “This means if 100 women used these methods, between 1 and 25 could become pregnant in a year. It is more successful for couples who have undertaken training with NFP educators.” Knowing your body and understanding when you are most fertile can be used to both prevent and achieve a pregnancy. Coast mum Kristy Guest says she has used NFP in the past to achieve pregnancy rather than avoid it, but now that she knows her cycles and is confident when her most fertile times are she feels she can use the same method to prevent another pregnancy. “Once I got the hang of it, it was quite simple and worked really well for us,” she says. “But now, (after baby number five!) I can confidently use the method to prevent another pregnancy…for now. It also means I don’t have to take any medication which is great.”

Other choices… If the LAM or NFP methods don’t appeal to you there are still other options available. Some methods are more effective than others depending on your personal circumstances and health. If you are considering any hormone based methods of contraception you need to be aware that some hormones will pass into the breast milk. Although the amount is minute, Queensland Health recommends that you discuss the risks and benefits with your doctor prior to implantation. The methods to consider are: The contraceptive pill… The combined contraceptive pill (contains both oestrogen and progestin) isn’t usually recommended to breastfeeding mums because it can decrease milk supply. However progesterone-only pills or mini pills are usually safe to use.

Condoms and diaphragms… Are safe regardless of whether or not you are breastfeeding. They both act as barriers to prevent sperm from entering the cervix. An intra-uterine device (IUD) is another possibility but requires a minor procedure and works by changing the intra-uterine environment and prevents eggs from implanting. Depo Provera injection… Is an intramuscular injection that lasts for three months. It is recommended you receive this injection six weeks post delivery to reduce bleeding. Implanon… Is a progesterone only implant and is about the size of a matchstick. It’s usually inserted into the inner upper arm and works by slowly releasing progesterone for up to three years, and can be removed sooner if required. For a more permanent option… If this was your last planned baby, you may wish to consider a more permanent solution. You can have a tubal ligation (or commonly known as having your ‘tubes tied’) or your partner can opt for a vasectomy. If you are unsure about the right choice for you and would like to know more about any method of contraception be sure to seek advice from your regular doctor or qualified health professional. For more information Australian Breastfeeding Association: www.breastfeeding.asn.au Family Planning Queensland: www.fpq.com.au Queensland Health: www.health.qld.gov.au Medication Helpline: 13 HEALTH (13 432 584)

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DECEMBER 2010 / january 2011 – KiDs on tHe CoAst

ONLY

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by Katharine Bogard

for success

Kids love to eat snack food in the afternoon. The problem for parents is finding healthy options that will not exceed their child’s daily energy requirements. Queensland Health’s chief health officer’s report says consistently consuming more than their necessary energy intake potentially leads to future health problems. “Poor diet is estimated to have a major effect on the health of Queenslanders, similar to that of cancer... and about double that of smoking,” it says. Just as an example, the 2007 Australian National Children’s Nutrition and Physical Activity Survey found 47% of four-year-old boys are exceeding their estimated energy requirements (EER). In contrast, 6% of four-year-old girls are eating less than their EER.

Increasing dairy consumption A survey by the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO) found children across all ages are not eating enough dairy foods. It reports that calcium is the only nutrient for which the majority of children, across all age groups, are not meeting the EER. Wesley Weight Management Clinic’s accredited practising dietician Catherine Fallon agrees that children have not been consuming the recommended levels of dairy foods, and this has been the basis of advertisements for calcium-rich snacks for kids. “The recent media attention surrounding calcium in the afternoon as a snack arose in response to recent research that found that up to 84% of school-aged children were not getting the recommended daily serves of dairy,” she says.“Protein-rich foods do provide a number of key nutrients for children, including calcium, iron and magnesium. “If incorporating dairy-based snacks, low-fat options are the healthier choice.” A Queensland Health dietician/nutritionists’ consensus document suggests considering breakfast cereal with milk as a snack at any time. Queensland Health suggests kids between 1-8 eat 3-6 dried apricots for afternoon tea, and kids 9-13 consume a banana. Both these fruits provide 20mg of their daily calcium intake. For children 14 years and above, a banana smoothie in the afternoon can provide more than 20% of their recommended daily calcium. The Dieticians Association of Australia (DAA) says calcium ensures children grow to have strong bones and teeth. “Children need three serves of dairy foods each day, with a cup of milk being one serve,” the association explains. “Reduced fat milks are not suitable for young children under two years of age, because of their high energy needs. However reduced fat varieties should be encouraged for older children and adolescents.” Queensland Health says if cow’s milk is not your preference, a 200ml glass of soy milk will contribute the same amount of calcium. Eating snacks as a source of calcium doesn’t have to be boring either… Catherine points out that two scoops of low fat ice cream are just as beneficial as milk.

KiDs on tHe CoAst – DECEMBER 2010 / january 2011

The way kids snack The CSIRO regards snacks as part of a structured diet and reminds parents to remember these little extras. The DAA agrees. “Children are very good at responding to their appetites and therefore may eat most of their food as snacks rather than at meal-times.” “Aim for your family to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with scheduled morning and afternoon snacks... Without a meal structure it is easy to eat for the wrong reasons, like boredom, or when you are in a hurry. These situations can lead to unhealthy food choices and over-eating. “Children need to eat appropriately sized main meals and may also have a healthy between-meal snack. The between-meal snack needs to be eaten at about the same time every day to avoid children ‘grazing’ ...” Catherine agrees that snacks are part of a child’s diet and schedule. “Snacks are an important part of a child’s day... The key to ensuring appetites are not spoilt in children in particular, is to eat snacks at least two hours before main meals,” she says. “There’s no single ‘magic’ snack that every child should be eating. “The best snacks are foods that satisfy hunger and provide lots of nutrients – choosing nutrient-rich snacks and avoiding energy-dense, nutrient-poor snacks is key. Portion sizes are fundamental. Fresh foods that are a source of whole grains, fibre, fruit, vegetables or calcium (dairy) are better choices. “Sometimes however, we may need to have that packaged snack on hand for convenience,” Catherine says.

Hidden surprises in packaged goods The DAA advises checking the labels when buying packaged snack foods, to ensure they are low in saturated fat, salt and kilojoules. www.kidsonthecoast.com.au

Catherine says ideally a snack should be less than 600kJ. “Check for added sugars by looking at the ingredients list,” she explains. “Some sugars are naturally occurring (those found in milk and fruit) but a food is likely to be high in added sugar if sugar is one of the first two ingredients listed. “More important than the amount of fat is the type of fat a food contains – aim for less than 2g saturated fat per serve… and target less than 100mg sodium (salt) per serve.”

Healthy and sweet The CSIRO survey found that as children get older, their intake of cereal products and cereal-based products increases considerably. “In Australian children, a fifth of their fat consumption comes from foods like sweet biscuits, cakes and pastries... These factors lead to high kilojoule intake, which can cause unhealthy weight gain,” it says.

Vegetables and fruit as the perfect snack While children 14-16 eat the least amount of fruit, the survey found kids 2-3 commonly eat the most. However, older kids consume about double the portion of vegetables that younger children do. “After-school snacks are a great opportunity to increase fruit and vegetable intake,” says Catherine. The DAA has found many people incorrectly think drinking juice is healthy. Unfortunately, too much juice can diminish kids’ appetites and increase kilojoule intake considerably, posing a health risk. Fresh fruit is preferred. “Fresh fruit provides a range of vitamins and minerals and adds fibre to the diet. Children are much more likely to eat small pieces of fruit or fruit that is cut into C pieces,” the DAA explains. Further Information For more snack ideas visit www.4ingredients.com.au Use the Healthy Eating Self-Assessment tool to determine how your daily food intake compares with the Australian Dietary Guidelines. Visit www.daa.asn.au

Ants on logs

Celery stalks Cream cheese Sultanas Cut celery in manageable sizes. Fill the hollow with cream cheese. Top with sultanas or ‘ants’.

CMY

Sweet Carrot Snacks

Courtesy: 4 Ingredients 4 chilled carrots 2 tablespoons of organic Manuka honey 1 teaspoon of sesame seeds Peel chilled carrots, cut length by half, then slice into four. Add honey & sesame seeds to small side bowl for dipping.

Fruit Kebabs

Courtesy: 4 Ingredients 1 packet of skewers A selection of fruits Fruit yoghurt or honey Dice fruit into bite-size pieces. Thread the chosen fruits alternatively onto a skewer, leaving enough room at the base so the skewer can be held. Drizzle with yoghurt or honey.