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septemb { TABLE OF CONTENTS }
LIGHTS..CAMER...THE ASERS
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{ TABLE OF CONTENTS }
REGULARS
SPECIAL FEATURES
180
WOMEN WHO INSPIRE
117
244
BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT Affaire de Chocolat
190
WOMEN BUILD
282
QUEEN OF ARTS Kalista Kassidy
202
INNER LIGHT
242
HER EDGE
206
QUEEN OF ARTS Nicole Backus
42
FOR A GOOD CAUSE Brindle Posse Rescue
94
WOMEN OWNED BUSINESS Marge’s Lakeside Inn
112
WOMEN TO WATCH
230
CUSTOM BEAUTE
164
KARMA SPEAKS
381
SOMETHING FOR THE SISTERS
308 MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE 316
A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE
HOME & GARDEN SPECIAL INSERT
FASHION & BEAUTY 92
SPECIAL FALL FASHION SHOOT
298
SECOND LOOK STYLING
318
FASHION FORECAST
HEALTH & WELLNESS 120
MIND,BODY, SPIRIT
152
ASK THE DOCTOR
174
PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY
288
RGH VOLUNTEERS
312
HEALTHY WOMAN
334
WORD OF MOUTH
92
268 260
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REGULARS CONT. 381
SOMETHING FOR THE SISTERS
120
MIND,BODY, SPIRIT
152
WE ARE PURE BARRE
174
PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY
288
RGH VOLUNTEERS
312
HEALTHY WOMAN
334
IN HER DEFENSE
12
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{ FROM THE PUBLISHER }
“Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.”
I
T T
ON OUR COVER
On our September Fashion Edition cover, we have the incredible mother daughter duo of Susan and Tyler Aser photographed at the new boutique studios of Rochester Woman Online by lead photographer Charlene Mann Ford.
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n our annual Fashion Edition of Rochester Woman Online we
{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }
PUBLISHER EDITOR-IN CHIEF CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN PHOTOGRAPHY
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
ADVERTISING SALES SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT
Kelly Breuer Cheryl Kates-Benman Kelly Breuer Charlene Mann Ford Christopher “Goodknews” Cardwell Marisa Nicodemus Michael Crisifulli Jim Hooper Cheryl Kates-Benman Robin DeWind Phyllis Haberer Olga Monacell Alana Cahoon Lisa Wagner Judi Swanson Tammy Reese Sarah Wright Becky Picone Sherry Hale Sam Khalil Joseph Tschimala Denise Karma Clifford Katie Lawler-Melia Laurie Broccolo Giovanna Walton Lynnea Ginty Kenzie Fadia Shannah Warwick Jamie Dougherty Erin Lakey Zenia Munger Kari Miller Reese Jones Angel bunce Denise Ester
Bonnie Floyd Justen Arnold Joanne Maxwell Sarah Swartzenberg Srradha Prativadi
Kelly Breuer Katie Lawler-Melia The Next Design
Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com. The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2017 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.
you’re invited! grand re-opening /
Thursday, September 12 - Sunday, September 15
Pure Barre Rochester is hosting a full weekend of complimentary Pure Foundations classes for every body. Contact us now to reserve your spot in class, and join us after for sips and treats and Grand Re-Opening Specials!
Pure Barre offers an effective total body workout focused on lowimpact, high intensity movements that lift and tone muscles to improve strength, agility and Ă&#x;exibility for every body.
event details
Friday, September 13 10:30am Foundations 12:00pm Foundations 6-8:00pm VIP event w/food, drinks, DJ & exclusive new member offers Saturday, September 14 11:00am Foundations 12:30pm Foundations
Call 585.690.6102 to reserve your spot today, class space is limited. View our schedule at purebarre.com/ny-pittsford/ PURE BARRE ROCHESTER | 3349 Monroe Ave. Ste. 27b, Rochester, NY | 585.690.6102 | pittsford@purebarre.com | purebarre.com/ny-pittsford/
Sunday, September 15 11:00am Foundations 12:30pm Foundations
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SUSAN & TYLER ASER BY SARAH WRIGHT I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY
LIGHTS...CAMERA... ASER’S...
join us as we explore their insights on show business, life, and social accountability.
Some of us freeze in front of a camera. We might get dry mouth or not know what to do with our hands. But for a few, that’s home. The set, the stage, the shoot become a place of expression and development, personal and professional. In the Aser family, stage talent runs deep. A casting agent since high school, Susan Aser now has a RE/MAX Plus real estate career as well as running Two Sues Casting & Locations.
INTERVIEW WITH TYLER ASER
One could say that she’ll put you on the map, one way or another. An actress since preschool, daughter Tyler Aser is tearing up sets and runways. With film credits in movies like The Tomorrow Man and Never Too Late, TV credits in Blue Bloods and Gotham, roles in commercials for The Little Theater and Immediate Care, and modeling in countless runway shows, photo shoots, and catalogs from Florida to Toronto, Tyler is a busy teen star with an impressive repertoire. Rochester Woman Online recently got to sit down with Tyler and Susan;
What’s the most important lesson your mom taught you? “Both of my parents taught me to work hard and always give my best. I
apply that to all I do- acting, modeling, and school.” What social issues are you concerned with and why? “I’m very anti-bullying. We need to wake up, be kind, and recognize bullying as the serious problem it is. I can say from experience that no kid should feel alone and worthless.”
How do you balance being a normal teen with your work in the entertainment industry? “I’m still in high school, so it’s hard to keep up with my studies and travel at the same time. But I manage with support from my parents and the work ethic they taught me.” What are your goals after high school? “I want to move to New York City and attend Queens College to study counseling and early childhood education. I love being around kids, and it’s a perfect place to work on my acting and modeling.” What’s your favorite memory in the film and modeling industry? “Probably when I got a call to play the lead in an antibullying movie called EIGHT. It was very emotional for me, and the message is one I just have to share.” If you could change one thing, what would it be? “I’m very fortunate to have my family and friends, but I know not everyone has that. Given the opportunity, I would change how people treat each other overall. More kindness! It’s free and everyone can afford to share.”
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““Along with my mom and manager Susan, Sherri Carter gave me my first modeling opportunities, helped build my confidence, and introduced me to some fantastic photographers. Through her I have made close friendships with other models and actors.” - Tyler Aser
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“ADD made it hard to focus in school, but with hard work I went from poor grades to high honor role with distinction and principal’s recognition.”
What are some obstacles you’ve overcome? “ADD made it hard to focus in school, but with hard work I went from poor grades to high honor role with distinction and principal’s recognition.” Where will we see you in 5 years? “In NYC or Hollywood doing what I love- acting, modeling, and working with kids to help them follow their 26
dreams.” Who is the most significant person in your life and why? “Along with my mom and manager Susan, Sherri Carter gave me my first modeling opportunities, helped build my confidence, and introduced me to some fantastic photographers. Through her I have made close
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SEPTEMBER FASHION EDITION 2019
friendships with other models and actors.” Something no one knows about you? “My parents nicknamed me “Pookie.” My mom also calls me her little butterfly; she would encourage me by telling me how she could see me going from a little girl to a strong, beautiful young lady who spreads her wings and flies on her own.”
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{{ COVER COVER STORY STORY }} “I have been lucky enough to meld my careers, which keeps it interesting and fun! My real estate work gives me access to businesses and homes I can use for films, and many of the homes I have used I end up listing for sale.”
INTERVIEW WITH SUSAN ASER What is the most important lesson you’ve taught your daughter and why? “You have to work hard, have patience, and be kind. Even though some will treat you badly, she’s learned that not everyone is like that and to not let it get under her skin.” How do you balance showbiz with normal life? “Ha! Sometimes it’s a blur going from one project to another, but once I’m situated on set I can catch up with clients. I don’t think I’ve
ever had a normal life, but we keep our family tight.” What social issue are you most concerned with and why? “Like Tyler, I’m very anti-bullying. I’m tired and frustrated by what kids do and say at such early ages, and a lot of adults are no better. It’s disgusting how some try to dictate what nationality, what color, what gender of friend someone is allowed to have. We are all the same species walking on the same planet.” With your different roles, which career
is your favorite and why? “I have been lucky enough to meld my careers, which keeps it interesting and fun! My real estate work gives me access to businesses and homes I can use for films, and many of the homes I have used I end up listing for sale. I love my clients in both businesses and love to include them in casting films and commercials. I am always looking for more homes, businesses, and talent!” What is your biggest pet peeve about the industry? “For both industries, not doing what
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“My mom also calls me her little butterfly; she would encourage me by telling me how she could see me going from a little girl to a strong, beautiful young lady who spreads her wings and flies on her own.”
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“I’m very fortunate to have my family and friends, but I know not everyone has that. Gi It’s free and everyone
you say you will do. It’s exhausting when someone promises more than they can deliver. I prefer the ‘underpromise and overdeliver’ method of doing business.”
“For some I think it’s a necessity, but for others like myself, not really. I think everyone should get to go away
Where can we expect to see you in 5 years? “I too am thinking NYC or Hollywood. I will probably keep managing my daughter’s acting and modeling career, but I can also run my casting and locations business from anywhere and sell real estate from anywhere.”
What would you tell other parents about pursuing modeling and acting for their kids? “Don’t waste your time and money on the wrong ventures and the wrong people. If it seems too good to be true, it is. Never assume anything, always get it in writing and make sure you understand who and what is involved. Just because your kid is cute doesn’t mean they are right for this industry, which changes all the time.” Is there anything else you’d like our readers to know?
What is a goal y o u h a v e n’t y e t accomplished? “Truthfully, updating my own home. I’m so busy helping clients with their homes that mine gets put on the back burner!” Also, for a long time I have wanted my daughter and I to be on the soap opera General Hospital. It would be lots of fun, especially if Dr. Jeff Webber came back.” How important do you think a college education is in today’s society? 34
“There is so much I would add if only time permitted. I have workshops coming up for casting, and I’m always happy to tour a business or home and talk about putting that location in a movie, a commercial, or showcasing it in a way that will make it more valuable.” for 2 years and live on their own, as there’s no teacher like experience.”
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That’s a wrap!
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iven the opportunity, I would change how people treat each other overall. More kindness! e can afford to share.�
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{ {{SHIFT+CONTROL COVER COVER STORY STORY }} } “I will probably keep managing my daughter’s acting and modeling career, but I can also run my casting and locations business from anywhere and sell real estate from anywhere.”
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ACTORS + HOMES + BUSINESSES
FILM + TV + PRINT Susan Aser Location Scout and Casting Director TwoSuesCasting
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THE MAGICA
Laura M
AL WORLD OF
Marino
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THE MAGICAL WORLD OF LAURA MARINO L AURA MARINO AND THE POWER PUFF GIRLS MAKE FANTASY A REALITY. Sometimes...with a lot of hard work & people who believe in you, dreams really do come true. Celebrated fashion photographer Laura Marino, both produced and designed alongside co-producer and lead makeup artist Alexandra Axenfeld presented their first ever fantasy runway show in May 2019.
The Magical World of Laura Marino blended dancers, singers and theatrical performers with high- concept fantasy fashions for a show that left all of Central New York speechless. On May 18th 2019 in the rolling hills of Cazenovia NY at Owera Vineyards the show was brought to life!
Proceeds from this show benefitted the Golisano Childrens Hospital. “We thank each one of you that took the time to make this dream a reality. We are beyond blessed.”
This was Syracuse’s first ever fantasy, makeup, hair and fashion exhibition. The duo couldn’t be more thrilled with the outcome!
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{ SPECIAL FEATURE } “We thank each one of you that took the time to make this dream a reality. We are beyond blessed.”
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MAKE A STATEMENT
1823 Penfield Rd I Penfield, New York 14526
T...GO INCOGNITO!
(
585) 586-7846 I www.incognitomenswear.com
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INCOGNITO MENSWEAR PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY
Men’s Suits, Sport Coats, Jeans & Tuxedos Premium Clothing, NOT Premium Pricing! For top-notch service, style and quality, Incognito suits you! Rochester’s hippest men’s clothing store can be found in Penfield at Incognito Menswear & Tux Shop. Whether you’re looking for a suit, coat, dress shirt, pair of jeans, sweaters or a new wardrobe, check out our huge selection of vintage, recycled and new clothing.
If it’s a sport coat for the office, a tuxedo for a wedding or a suit for a funeral, you are sure to arrive appropriately dressed when you are an Incognito Man. If you don’t know what you want, at least you know where to go.
Come visit us! Browse our selection of top tier brands. Interact with our concierge-level employees about your desires for your event. Spend a little time getting measured properly by an expert.
Incognito is at the Four Corners of Penfield, NY. Incognito Menswear and Tuxedo Park have been the “go to” shop for prom and wedding party tux choices for nearly thirty years! We take our stature as Rocheser’s leading formalwear destination very seriously. We provide you with the unbeatable combination of both exceptional service and the best pricing in the area!
The average guy only rents a tuxedo a few times in his life. Here at our shop we deal with tuxedos so much that it sometimes it is just a blur of efficient activity around here…but each and every individual is given the quality time they deserve to get educated and make a decision they will be confident with for their event. At Incognito, we want you to look perfect …
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MAKE A STATEMENT
1823 Penfield Rd I Penfi
T...GO Incognito!
field, New York 14526
I ( 585) 586-7846 I www.incognitomenswear.com
SJ’S
VILLAGE BOUTIQUE’S sjs
KICK IT WITH KINDNESS EVENT TUESDAY, OCTOBER 1ST I 5-7PM
~10% OF ALL SALES THROUGH OCTOBER GO TO THE BREAST CANCER COALITION OF ROCHESTER ~WINE TASTING ~UP PANT FALL TRUNK SHOW WITH MODELS ~RAFFLE ITEM: PINK, ALASHAN 100% CASHMERE LUXE FOX TRIM TOPPER VALUE $250
online
25 S MAIN ST. I PITTSFORD, NY 14534 (585) 248-0640 I SJSVILLAGEBOUTIQUE.COM
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A FALL FASHION SHOOT PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN FORD
LET ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE’S TEAM WORK FOR YOU...
Rochester Woman Online brings you the best outfit ideas and trends for fall fashion, including inspiration from local designers and boutiques and featuring some of our fabulous RWO models!
Get inspired by theses some amazing new fall looks, along with stunning photographs and fall-ready outfit ideas—to wear from the office to the weekend and everything in between for all ages.
Our team of experts is excited to bring you a fall fashion shoot featuring clothing and accessories from SJ’s Village Boutique, Cella V Boutique, Hannalin Designs, Accessories by
Emily, Lucy’s World and more on location at the beautiful Ventosa Vineyards, a private home on Seneca Lake and in the Village of Pittsford. Lead photographer Charlene Mann captured these fabulous designs and we can do the same for your business with packages starting at just $299!
{ FASHION FORWARD } “Let our team work for you and showcase your business through photography, social media, and marketing.”
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SJ’S
VILLAGE BOUTIQ
IT’S NEW IT’S YOU. IT’S SJ’S.
25 S MAIN ST. I PITTSFORD, NY 14 (585) 248-0640 I SJSVILLAGEBOUTIQ
S
QUE
W. .
4534 QUE.COM
sjs
TIFFA TARTAG
TIFFANIE TARTAGLIA IS PROUD T
Mrs. Roc City is an ambassador for the Willow Domestic Violence Center and believes for Domestic Violence Awareness on October 10th from 5-9pm at the Rochester Wom
ANIE AGLIA
TO BE MRS. ROC CITY 2019-2020.
MRS. ROC CITY 2019
s verbal abuse is worse then physical. Please join her as she will be speaking on the panel man Online’s THINK PURPLE Event at The Wedding Barn Events Venue in Henrietta.
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CELLA V BOUTIQUE PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY
Cella V was started by a girl and her passion for styling! Having started out in my home, I would host parties and welcome the occassional shopper. But, my dreams were bigger...
||An Ode to Fearless Women|| Defined by no man you are your own story.
Hello Fall! Looking for something original?! Cella V boutique wants you to be who you are with trends that you’ll love to fill your closet and express your style!
With an investment in myself, and the support of my friends and family, I continue to grow. Still a small business, we are now located in a local salon and spa in Syracuse, New York.
I look forward to filling your wardrobe with younique yet affordable pieces.
What next? The sky is the limit! Cella V strives to add a layer of beauty that is already inside each and every woman with trends that are original to you. We carry an array of styles including young contemporary, festival, and boho chic. 130
all the things you cannot be, you smile and tell them I am both war and woman and you cannot stop me. -Nikita Gill
Blazing through this world, turning history into h e r s t o r y. And when they dare to tell you about
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SEPTEMBER FASHION EDITION 2019
For more information, please contact us at: 4971 Bear Rd Liverpool, NY Call (315) 4304093 cellav.boutique@ gmail.com http://www.cellavboutique.com
{ ROCHESTER WOMAN FASHIONISTA } “Cella V was started by a girl and her passion for styling!”
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WANT TO LOOK YEARS YOUNGER ALMOST INSTANTLY?
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ACCESSORIES BY EMILY PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY
My foray into the jewelry making world began in my senior year of high school with an art elective called “contemporary crafts”. I needed to take a class to fill my schedule and I thought it sounded fun. As it turns out, the class became one of my favorite courses that year and I found a passion for jewelry making. I learned all the skills that I now employ to make one of a kind necklaces, bracelets and earrings. I draw my inspiration for my pieces from interesting materials that I find or new trends that I know I can replicate or e n h a n c e . Fo r example, I love giving new life to a single lost earring by turning it into a new pendant for a necklace. But arguably the best part of this new creative journey is making something special for my customers. I have had the chance to design and create custom jewelry 152
for family and friends including a few bridal parties (like my own!). I’m excited about taking the next step and turning my hobby into a
business. Thank you to all of you who have helped me along the way and who are continually supportive.
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SEPTEMBER FASHION EDITION 2019
I look forward to seeing where the future will take me! We are a woman owned small business. Our founder, Emily, has small children at home so our hours that we are actively checking our email are after she comes home from school (she is teacher). Please feel free to email us at any time and we will try to get back to you as soon as possible. You are welcome to come to any of craft shows that we participate in (check our Facebook page regularly to find out when we are doing a craft show). Our company was founded to help others look beautiful. Our founder, Emily, learned jewelry making in a high school art class and has perfected her craft over the last 15+ years. She has produced jewelry for several wedding parties including her own.
{ FASHION FORWARD } “ I draw my inspiration for my pieces from interesting materials that I find or new trends that I know I can replicate or enhance.”
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accessories by emily
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accessories by emily
ON FACEBOOK AT ACCES ACCESSORIESBYE
SSORIES BY EMILY OR EMAIL TO EMILY22@GMAIL.COM
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Link up with Tasteful Connections for Professional Catering
Connect with dedicated consultants Rely on the expertise and knowledge of experienced staff Partner with dependable people that care Relax and enjoy the efforts of a real caterer
An Establishment Class:
FEMALES AND FINANCE For women, financial independence isn't just a matter of strength, it's a matter of necessity. From budgeting to investing to financial management, there are steps women can take to better control their financial lives.
Tuesday, September 24 6:00 to 7:30 pm Metro Cowork 350 East Ave Rochester NY, 14604 Reserve your seat online by following this link:
bit.ly/ffinsep24
www.TheEstablishmentNYS.com info@TheEstablishmentNYS.com | (716) 428-3475 The Establishment is a “doing business as” name for MML Investors Services, LLC when offering the classes and financial events detailed on this ad. Our financial advisors are investment advisor representatives and registered representatives of MML Investors Services, LLC and are licensed insurance agents or brokers of Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company and/or other affiliated or unaffiliated insurance companies. Classes and financial events are general in nature, and not personalized for any attendee’s specific situation. Financial advisors will not recommend specific securities during classes or financial events. CRN202103-245713
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REROCING FASHION BY SARAH WRIGHT I PHOTOS BY MARISA NICODEMUS
What’s your favorite way to shop? Do you like the champagne light and elegant sales reps of high-end shops? Do you prefer quirky boutiques with Christmas lights and curtained fitting rooms? Or, are you dedicated to the quest of parsing through thrift store racks, the scent of dust and mothballs in the air, not knowing if you’ll leave with a t-shirt and a paperback or a mint-condition leather coat from the 70’s? Me, I like online shops with free return policies. Like many of us do, as I get older I’m solidifying my never-fails and learning how to shop my closet. Developing my own style was a confusing process. I used to try and make myself fit the concepts and silhouettes I liked, with disappointing results. It took a lot of thought (and mutilated issues of W and InStyle) to find some looks and color schemes that liked me back. Even if you love trying on a lot of things before going out, I think we all want to be put together without having to fight with our clothes. What’s your style? Are you a cinched-waist type or do you keep it loose and breezy? Can’t live without your heels or would you rather go barefoot than don a stiletto? Lace or camo? Frankly, I don’t care how styles change, you can tear my oversized button-downs and skinny pants (preferably constructed of a nice, thick twill) from my 176
lifeless hands. Something I notice right away about ReRoc Vintage is that they have an excellent visual representation of their wares online. See them on Facebook and Pinterest, and buy direct at Poshmark. There is a nice mixture of accessible labels, like Saks and Betsey Johnson, as well as brands like Banana Republic and Guess. Occasionally there is a sleek Badgley Mischka gown or Thierry Mugler creation. My eye is caught by a
“As an HR compliance manager, my professional background has little to do with fashion. Personally, I have loved fashion since I was a kid. I still have fashion sketches from that time.” How or where do you find your pieces? “I source as much as I can locally. Sometimes I’ll get things on eBay or from other Poshmark sellers, but for the most part I find my stock at nearby Goodwills, from friends cleaning out their closets, etc. Sustainability is a closely-held value of mine, and I want to make the most out of what’s already close by.” I notice a lot of stripes and geometrics, also some painterly and marbled patterns. Coincidence or intention? “I do have an attraction to prints. I love things with personality; pieces that speak for themselves.”
killer pair of booties... size 7. Boo. Oh, but that white Coach bag with gold accents... This shop is one to watch, not only for its style but the owner’s outlook. I got to chat with owner and architect Adrienne Schleigh, who shared her perspective on fashion, accountability, and togetherness. First, I have to ask the obvious- how did you start? Do you have a background in fashion?
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your personal tastes.
Tell me more about
“It’s often based on what I’m doing that day. I love wearing things that lift my spirits and being prepared for any occasion. The looks of the 60’s and 70’s resonate with me, and lately I can’t resist a Calvin Klein wiggle dress.” Who do you take fashion inspiration from? “My grandma was very sharply dressed
“I source as much as I can locally. Sometimes I’ll get things on eBay or from other Poshmark sellers, but for the most part I find my stock at nearby Goodwills, from friends cleaning out their closets, etc. Sustainability is a closely-held value of mine, and I want to make the most out of what’s already close by.”
and marched to the beat of her own drum. She was also wily and never paid full price for anything.” Do you have a favorite places to shop for yourself? “I thrift for anything that doesn’t need to be bought new. In my personal life as well as in my business, I want to be as sustainable as possible. There is a lot of waste in the fashion industry, and if I can help cut down on that and help others do the same, that’s what I want to do.” Do you look for particular names or price points? “I try to sell the best of both worlds- brands that are well-made but within budget. I want people to get the most out of their 180
clothes, but I’m not opposed to snapping up something just because it’s cute and I know people will like it. Treasure turns up anywhere and everywhere.”
for a while. This isn’t my only job at the moment, so I need to keep things balanced. I would like to have a storefront one day, and likely a pop-up shop.”
Do you fix or alter anything?
What’s on your wish list?
“Well, I failed Home Ec in 7th grade, and not because of bad cooking. My husband, though, is another matter. He’ll fix, say, a loose button or dropped hem, but we look for things that are in good shape to begin with. I never sell anything that’s in less than like-new condition.”
“Actually, I just knocked some stuff off the wish list. I have a better work space, a dress form, and now I want to make sure that I’m building my inventory purposefully. No impulse buys, but a well-curated collection.”
Where do you want to take ReRoc Vintage? Do you want to get a storefront, stay online, or...? “I’d love to just continue to grow online
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Do you have some words of wisdom for RWO readers? “Support your local business owners. Build relationships with professionals in your area based on trust, and let’s all make each other stronger.”
ReROC Vintage is an online boutique feat
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GENRICH’S GARDEN CENTER, FLORIST & GREENHOUSE BY DEBORAH GENRICH I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY
BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED. “Bloom where you are planted”… what an appropriate expression for my world. I found myself “planted” in Irondequoit in the late 90’s after meeting the love of my life, Ralph Genrich III. I had spent my life in Brighton and the east side of Rochester: graduate of Brighton High, Bachelor’s degree in Business Management from St. John Fisher College, initial career path in a family owned interior design business with a short stint in real estate tax servicing… then my life changed. My relationship with Ralph blossomed and after I fell in love with his two precious daughters (Heather aged 5 and Stephanie
aged 3), and discovered my passion for interior design translated perfectly into his thriving family business, it didn’t take much persuasion on his part for me to accept a marriage proposal and a major life shift. Genrich’s Garden Center, Florist, Gift & Greenhouses was established in 1960 by Ralph’s parents, Ralph Jr. & Mary Ellen, as a small garden center and evolved over the next twenty years with the addition of landscaping services and the floral design shop. My in-law’s family grew as well with four sons being born, my husband Ralph III being the oldest. After my husband graduated from Irondequoit High School, he attended college in DuPage Horticultural School in West Chicago pursuing a degree in greenhouse
production and management. When he returned to Irondequoit in 1983, he began to build greenhouses on the three acres of land the garden center is situated on and currently our greenhouse range is in excess of 42,000 square feet. The landscaping portion of the business was discontinued in the 90’s in order to shift priorities to accommodate increased demand for high quality plant material. We continue to grow all of our annuals, perennials, hardy mums, poinsettias and Easter lilies right here in Irondequoit. Fast forward back to 1998 when Ralph and I married and settled into our perfect world of building the business and raising these two beautiful girls, who growing up could most often be found trailing their dad in the greenhouses, always eager to
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{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } “ Heather and Stephanie (my “chicks” as I affectionately refer to them) have grown into exceptional young women. They continue to accumulate accolades in the industry. ”
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{ LOCAL { SHIFT+CONTROL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } } “ We are fortunate to continue sharing beauty in our corner of the world and the girls and I will forever be grateful for the incredible support shown to us by the awesome community we are rooted in. ”
learn about plants and everything that went on in the business. (Both girls will fondly reminisce about the school vacation when they helped Ralph construct a new greenhouse on the property.) Our emphasis over the years was to stay ahead of the curve, transforming the gift shop by adding more product lines creating more of a destination boutique type experience, especially to counteract the seasonality of the garden center (contrary to many garden centers, we are open twelve months a year). Reconfiguration of the garden center check outs, including adding a sophisticated POS system, was a huge benefit to both shoppers and our ability to track and maintain inventory. Ralph’s expertise in growing superior plants and our reputation as an extraordinary greenhouse expanded our customer reach. Our focus never wavered from our core goals of sustaining high standards of customer service and the personal relationships we formed with so many of our customers. When Heather graduated from Irondequoit High, she chose to attend The Ohio State’s Agricultural & Technical Institute in Wooster, Ohio in their greenhouse production program. She excelled in her two years there: President of Greenhouse Club, OFA Scholar (a high distinction in the trade), and other outstanding student achievement awards. We were thrilled when she joined our family business full time in 2012, shadowing Ralph and quickly becoming a key player in the greenhouse operations. 192
The year 2012 seemed like a revolving door; as Heather graduated from college and returned to Rochester, Stephanie graduated from Irondequoit High and following her sister’s footsteps left Rochester to attend ATI in Ohio, concentrating her studies on business management in the agricultural/ greenhouse field, expressing interest in a
and unexpectedly, Ralph suffered a massive heart attack and subsequently passed away early February 2014. Stephanie made the decision to withdraw from her last semester at college to return home to help Heather and me regroup and continue forward to spring, and the future. Losing Ralph was devastating to all of us, he was a man of remarkable integrity and had a presence larger than life itself. Somehow the girls and I picked ourselves up from this tragedy and stoically determined that we would persevere and succeed. Heather and Stephanie (my “chicks” as I affectionately refer to them) have grown into exceptional young women. They continue to accumulate accolades in the industry: Heather was recognized nationally in a 40 under 40 group as well as the youngest finalist ever for a national Young Grower Award in 2015. Stephanie was one of three national finalists for the Green Profit Young Retailer Award in 2017. These two are my “stars” as they exhibit the capability to integrate solid business sense, good old fashioned customer relations, traditional values and artistic flair on a daily basis. Their work ethics and motivation level for their age is more than impressive.
career back home at the garden center. We embarked on a large scale remodeling project of the garden center and florist/ gift shop, updating aging infrastructure and investing in new equipment looking towards a future with the third generation coming on board. I was truly “living the dream”. And then my life changed again. Suddenly
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So many bittersweet moments are still present after losing Ralph (truly a legend in my life), but they are tempered by the success we have proved over the last 5+ years. We are fortunate to continue sharing beauty in our corner of the world and the girls and I will forever be grateful for the incredible support shown to us by the awesome community we are rooted in.
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“Plant Happi
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our greenhouses here in Irondequoit; “You’ll Fall in Love With Our Mums” - striking annual grasses for texture and color, pansies, coral bells, mums allium) that are planted in the fall for spring color; cactus and succulents; “Life Would Succ Without Plants”
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LIVE THE DREAM My name is Mckenzie M. Fadia and I am the owner of Live the Dream Outfitters. With lots of support from my mom and dad, Live the Dream Outfitters was created in 2018, but in January of 2019 my website was published and I started selling items online. In March of 2019 I got my vendor license and was able to sell my items at festivals and events. In September of 2017, my brother passed away from opioids. His name is Maxwell J. Fadia. He was my bestfriend. We both shared a love for travel and music. We lived each day to the MAX! After losing my brother I felt like I wanted a place to go when I was feeling down of when I missed him. So, I got this idea that I wanted to create a memorial site. I felt like I wasn’t the only person going through this though. I got this idea that I can create a memorial site for the people who have passed away from opioids and families who are struggling with the loss of their loved ones, friends and people in the community can also go there to reflect. Not only would it be a place to go reflect but it would raise awareness in the community. The memorial site can have people’s names on it who have passed away to opioids. There can be seating all around it
so you can stay and visit. But at the time how could an 18year-old afford a memorial site in Rochester when I work at Wendy’s. I came up with the idea that I can start a clothing line where a portion of the proceeds
shirts. Each week for a few months I was ordering new t-shirts to try to grow my collection. I have 3 new long sleeve t-shirts that I just designed for my fall collection and they just got added to my website. I signed up for my very first event which was at Party in The Park. All throughout the summer I vended there every opportunity that I could. They have different bands that go there every Thursday night. I loved vending there because it was so peaceful with the waterfalls and you can hear the music the whole time. My brother used to go to the concerts there every week before he passed away, that was why it was the main place that I wanted to be a vendor there. I also participated in the Brockport sidewalk Sale and also last Saturday I was at the Peddler’s Market in Brockport.
can go towards the memorial site. On my brothers Instagram page in his biography it says, “Are you living your dream?”, his quote inspired me to name my clothing line “Live the Dream Outfitters”. I truly feel like he lived each day to the MAX. I started my clothing line out by designing and buying one box of
I have several upcoming festivals in September. One of my events is on the 14th of September and it’s called the Winton Village Festival of the Arts. It is set to be from 10am-5pm. On the 21st of this month I will also be participating at the Harvest Festival located in the town of Sweden. If you go to any of those festivals make sure to stop by and say hi! I love participating in the events and festivals, especially the ones close to my hometown. It’s nice to
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be able to communicate with the people who have been affected by the epidemic and the stories that I hear are so motivational and truly inspirational. The people who have also been affected by the opioid always tell me how they are struggling. They tell me how they have overcome it or how they know someone involved with it. Almost everyone who comes to 200
my booth has been affected by it in one form or another. It’s crazy how many people actually are affected by it. Many people who are recovering tell me the best way to avoid it and get clean are by staying active. It is not easy to go through alone but there are so many places that you can go to seek help. There are so many local facilities that have input and output programs. They are there to help you!! On my website I have
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the addiction hotline published if you just need someone to call. Feel free to email me or contact me, I have my contact information on my website. There is always help somewhere, you are not going through this alone.
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marges
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{ LOCAL DESIGNER SPOTLIGHT }
BLCK BTS BY SHANNAH WARWICK I PHOTOS BY SARAH FLANDERS
I started my brand BlckBts (pronounced Black Boots) almost 20 years ago while in college; the concept was to create artistic accessories to be worn with your favorite black boots. Initially, BlckBts was a line of silk scarfs hand-dyed in my apartment bathtub in Philly, employing a variety of techniques: shibori, potato dextrin resist, & silk painting. The common thread was to express textures & patterns on fabric.
I moved into an amazing home with a generous studio in Painted Post, NY about 4 years ago. Living up here has given me the physical & mental space to be actively creative & in-tune with the
I decided to continue my education & attended Moore College of Art for Art Education. My first day, there was a fiber exhibit in the lobby gallery with a display of felted handbags: I hadn’t heard of the technique, but the texture intrigued me. Shortly after, I participated in a felting workshop with the Philadelphia Guild of Handweavers & had a fiber epiphany. Nunofelting is a technique where your base fabric is layered with wool fibers, wet & rolled between layers of bubblewrap to coherse the wool fibers down into the weave of your base fabric. Next, you heat & agitate & cause the wool to shrink, with the resulting fabric a highly textured new textile. Through nunofelting, I feel like I’m beating the whole sewing system by using this technique to combine colors & fabrics for texture & sculpture shapes. 210
voice of my seasonal Collections. I also teach dye & felting technique workshops & demonstrations for all levels. I have found my tribe by becoming involved with a number of local groups, including the Arts Community in Corning & Elmira, as well as a Monthly Biz Club
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which helps my accountability. I maintain relationships with clients & Boutiques by designing & curating work that reflects their brand. For example, I sell with I Need More in NYC, which has a very specific look & colors. I actually developed a dye color for the specialized pieces I submitted. I sell at fantastic boutiques in Philadelphia, as well as travelling with vending event Oddities Flea Market. Pieces for private clients are amazing because I love to interpret ideas & make a true original. The internet & social media help raise exposure to my work & process, but I sell the most when people see the pieces in person: the colors, textures, & patterns are absolutely unforgettable. My Fa l l / Wi n t e r 1 9 Collection is the Fire Series, titled “Burn It Out”, inspired by the theme of burning away the bad wiring in our heads & hearts that no longer serve. For Burn it Out, ironically, I dyed silk organza to look like fire using ice dyeing techniques. The gorgeous pattern of the dye work is highlighted by the flowing, open panels without the added texture of nunofelted wool. My Collections’ creative process includes Editorial Photoshoots: I choose a muse & production team & design with them in mind as my message. For Burn it Out,
{ LOCAL DESIGNER SPOTLIGHT } “I’m thrilled to become involved with the Fashion and Art in Rochester & honored to be featured in a Women’s Magazine that brings together a diverse Community.”
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Kylie, a new friend whose interest in fire & wild hair, was the perfect person to inspire! Our images evoke the Fire Goddess and Photographer Sarah Flenders totally understood my vision & added her own expert energy. Sarah works throughout the area and has quickly become someone I highly recommend to other creatives. I’m thrilled to become involved with the Fashion and Art in Rochester & honored to be featured in a Women’s Magazine that brings together a diverse Community. I look forward to meeting & contributing to a beautiful, fashion-forward future 214
with Rochester’s outstanding artists & creative spaces. www.blckbts.com Social: https://www.instagram.com/blckbts/ https://www.facebook.com/blckbts https://www.pinterest.com/Blckbts/fire-goddess/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/shannahwarwick-4629727b/ Link to Philadelphia Hand Weaver’s Guild member gallery featuring beautiful pieces from 2013 http://www.pghw.org/membership/membersgallery/member-gallery-shannah-warwick
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Community Arts of Elmira: http://www. communityartsofelmira.com NYC Retail: http://ixneedxmore.com Philly Retail: https://www.joanshepp.com https://theodditiesfleamarket.com Photographer: www.SarahFlenders.com
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story of this life
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PROVIDING SUPPORT FOR BREAST CANCER PREVIVORS BEFORE AND AFTER A PROPHYLACTIC MASTECTOMY.
Breast Previvors ROC is an organization dedicated to supporting women who are breast cancer previvors in the Rochester community. Previvors are individuals who are survivors of a predisposition to cancer such as a gene mutation or have a family history of cancer, but who have not yet had the disease. Together we should stand tall and empower each other through community and friendship, supporting one another on our breast cancer previvor journey. We host monthly support groups as well as connecting women through our private Facebook page. Support your local Breasties! Contact us at info@BreastPrevivorsROC.com Visit us at www.BreastPrevivorsROC.com
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OFF LEASH APPAREL BY JAMIE DOUGHERTY
Off Leash Apparel is a woman owned lifestyle brand in Rochester, NY. We launched in July 2017 with a focus on animal adoption, advocacy, liberation and rescue. Our mission is to raise awareness towards adoption and rescue and to donate back to our rescue community. We are dedicated to giving back and donate 20% of our proceeds to the local animal shelters and rescues. The company was formed by taking our inspiration from our dog, Rachel,
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and then combining our passion for animals and desire to give back with our love for design and community. Our available products vary to fit a wide range of animal lovers. We have a variety of human apparel with original designs that are screen printed in Rochester, home goods including hand poured odor eliminator candles, as well as dog bandanas and dog tags that we hand make ourselves. Paying attention to the tiny details is extremely important to us and we
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hope that is reflected in the quality of our products. It is worth mentioning, Off Leash is not meant to be taken literally where pets roam free without any care for them - Rather, it is a reflection of the pure joy animals get when they are free from chains, cages, and captivity. We hope our brand is impactful and inspirational that our customers wear proudly to show support of the place they may call home or for a cause that may hit home.
{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } “The company was formed by taking our inspiration from our dog, Rachel, and then combining our passion for animals and desire to give back with our love for design and community.”
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“Off Leash Apparel is a woman owned lifestyle brand in Rochester, NY. We launched in Ju is to raise awareness towards adoption and rescue
For more information check us out online at : 226
website: offleashapparel.com
Instagram: offleashapparel
email: hello@offleashappare.com
Facebook: offleashapparel
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{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }
uly 2017 with a focus on animal adoption, advocacy, liberation and rescue. Our mission e and to donate back to our rescue community. ”
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FOR MORE INFORMATION WEBSITE: OFFLEASHAPPAREL.COM I EMAIL: HELLO@OFFLEASHAPPARE.CO
CHECK US OUT ONLINE AT : OM I INSTAGRAM: OFFLEASHAPPAREL I FACEBOOK: OFFLEASHAPPAREL
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
HANALIN DESIGNS BY OLIVIA BAUSO I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY
We adopt some talents, crafts or habits as kids that we never outgrow. Whether it’s reading books, drawing, cutting out of magazines, or collecting beads, these small passions can grow into something more as adults.
and friends, Hanalin Designs was born. Hannah Lynne Caruso is a Rochester native. After graduating as a student athlete from Penfield High School, she traveled to Cabrini College to continue her Lacrosse
Hannah Caruso tells me she hates to give the generic “I’ve loved it since I was a child” story when talking about her craft. But, there’s no way around it: her love for making jewelry came at a young age. As a kid, she and her family would frequently travel to Cape Cod where there was a particular bead store she couldn’t get enough of. She laughs, “I didn’t want to go to the beach… I just wanted to go to the bead store. That’s all I ever wanted to do.” She collected beads over a number of years, that eventually found themselves hidden in her dad’s basement. About five years ago, the beads resurfaced. With encouragement from her father, Hannah finally began to do something with them. “I literally would just hang out, sit on the couch and make stuff,” Hannah explains. She just loved getting her fingers busy with small, intricate work -- “and I’m really good at it, too,” she adds. After creating a number of pieces and distributing her work amongst family and friends, Hannah realized the whole operation could grow from there. Thanks to the help of family and friends, and family and friends of family
background for design, but I wanted to be in that realm-- and that’s always kind of stuck with me.” However, the industry was too cut-throat for her, despite her passion for the work. Hannah bounced around for a few semesters and spent some time in California before completing her undergraduate work at the University of Buffalo. There, she received her BS in Health and Human Services and explored her original love for psychology. Hannah received her MS in Mental Health Counseling from local St. John Fisher College in September 2016. Traveling around during undergrad, she realized she wanted to stay around her family. “I’m a very family-oriented person,” she affirms. During the day, Hannah runs group and individual therapy sessions. But after work, she spends up to five hours putting together just one handmade necklace, bracelet or set of earrings. “I’m doing it all. It’s hard,” she admits, “Especially while I was going to school, all I wanted to do was make.” Hannah also admits she struggles with photographing, editing and posting her work online, as that takes away from her love of the production.
career. She decided to make a switch about a semester in, and transferred to FIT in New York City to pursue her love for fashion and design. She tells me, “I went in for Fashion Merchandising because I didn’t have the
In addition to the business side of her craft, Hannah realizes how difficult it is to stay current and relevant with her work. Her main goal is to remain different from others, which has been a huge difficulty during the process. Hannah says, “There are so many local artists in Rochester that I never want to look like a copy of. I always strive to create an individual look.” So, it’s a balancing act of remaining on
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
{ QUEEN OF ARTS } “I know a lot of people love silver and steel, but that’s where I’m stubborn! I don’t want to make something just to satisfy. I want to believe it and wear it myself.”
are so many local artists in Rochester that I never want to look like a copy of. I always strive to create an individual look.” So, it’s a balancing act of remaining on trend while still creating pieces unique to Hanalin Designs. Hannah describes her style as “urban vintage, but pretty.” S h e ’s i n s p i r e d by similar artists on Pinterest or Instagram, but primarily thinks that her jewelry is headed in Anthropologie’s direction. You can see in detail on her website and Instagram page, but Hannah’s pieces are minimalistic, and often combine leather, metal and stone; the trifecta of modern jewelry. Oh, and she stays far, far away from silvers. “Consistency and sticking with my creative dignity is huge for me,” Hannah explains. “I know a lot of people love silver and steel, but that’s where I’m stubborn! I don’t want to make something just to satisfy. I want to believe it and wear it myself.” She will fill custom silver and steel orders, but sticks to her guns when it comes to her designs.
Hannah hasn’t been selling for very long, but has already received a positive response from the community. Some of her early bead and leather work was even even sold at Tanvi Asher’s Peppermint, which was Hannah’s first
her presence in the “show game,” in addition to updating her website with some of her girl friends wearing her pieces. She plans to continue taking every available opportunity to show off her work. Hannah’s Rochester Faves: - Roc restaurants: “Blu Wolf Bistro, Roam Cafe and Good Luck… obviously!” - Roc drinks: “I just love the South Wedge-- I go to Lux a lot, but really anywhere that’s not on the strip on Monroe is good with me.” - Place to spend time in the city: “I’m gonna sound like I drink a lot, but I just love the bar setting to meet up with girl friends or my boyfriend. I just like fun drinks!”
trunk show. “Her reaching out to me sort of instilled in me that I could do more. She kind of broke that out of me,” Hannah tells me. Moving forward, Hannah wants to expand
- Summer festival: “I like the Corn Hill Arts Festival because I think it separates that everyday type of appeal from art and things that take a lot of craft. I love to just look at everything there.”
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{ QUEEN OF ARTS } “I went in for Fashion Merchandising because I didn’t have the background for design, but I wanted to be in that realm-- and that’s always kind of stuck with me.”
{ CUSTOM BEAUTE }
EYELINER REMOVAL BY CORTNEY KRUGER
Permanent makeup, or cosmetic micropigmentation has gained increasing popularity over the past decade. One can have their eyebrows, lips, areolas, or eyeliner virtually tattooed on with a pigment if treated by a trained professional, and at times, untrained hands, that can last years before requiring touchups. Pigments fade, whereas ink is more of a forever problem if it goes wrong, and it does, often. Either way, if you let an inexperienced technician play with your face you could end up with pigment/ink migration, color changes, or just plain out poor work that looks, well, horrible. A common misconception is that tattoo eyeliner removal is not possible, but it is when laser techniques that follow exceptional training and proper precautions and protocols are applied. When permanent eyeliner has gone wrong, people search for a way to fix the mistake, which requires laser removal that only a few technicians in the United States are qualified to do. Custom Beaute, in Amherst, New York, is not the only office, but there are very few people that have truly mastered this art form. Even fewer that wish to attempt it as it requires a huge amount of skill and a laser that is safe enough to use on that area of the eye. According to world renowned cosmetic micropigmentation and tattoo removal expert, Lorena Öberg, there are three ways to reduce or lighten pigment molecules from the skin: topical, non-laser solutions applied with a tattoo machine, and laser. Topical solutions alone have yet to be scientifically proven as effective; and nonlaser solutions—such as a saline solution, or glycolic acid—is applied with a tattoo machine that can be painful and, at Custom Beaute, would not be utilized around the eye because of the chemical nature. So, 242
in the case of eyeliner, depending on its age, its color and the concentration of ink we will determine our chosen method for removal that will help us achieve the best result. Often, we will use a combination of laser and non-laser techniques if there are multiple colors present as this is the most effective plan of action to get it safely and expeditiously treated and corrected, if that is what the client would like. Make no mistake, laser eyeliner removal can be a painful process as well, but topical anesthetic is applied to minimize this discomfort. After a significant numbing
period, titanium ocular shields are inserted to protect the corneas—other practitioners may use a weaker shield made of aluminum but at Custom Beaute titanium is used to maximize protection. After the shields are inserted, a treatment session is concluded in a relatively short amount of time. Depending on the intensity of the mistake, and the size of the area to be treated, successful results could be achieved in as little as one session, especially if the problem is pigment migration, which usually occurs if pigment has entered the lymphatic system or has been implanted incorrectly. The amount of treatment sessions required is determined after an initial consult with the technician, where the client goes over their desired outcome.
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Swelling and bruising are common side effects to this procedure, however proper icing and care by the client can dramatically reduce any downtime. You can expect to have a week of bruising if it does occur and can be covered using concealer in a couple of days. The fact is that tattooed eyeliner and migration CAN be corrected. It is a highly skilled and uncomfortable process that can take several procedures for complete results depending on the saturation levels of the ink. Consultations are available upon request and are an absolute prerequisite to treatment to ensure that the client is a qualified candidate for the procedure. Custom Beaute is currently booking clients from all over the US, including Florida and Georgia, as it is well known that Sherry Hale—trained in London by the world renowned removal expert mentioned earlier, Lorena Öberg—is herself, renowned in the United States for her excellence in performing this hard to access procedure. She does it safely, quickly, and provides exceptional results that keep clients flying to Amherst from all over the the United States to attain. Custom Beaute also offers that procedure at rates that are far more accessible than the few qualified competitors ask for. It is worth it to make sure that you are getting the results you want safely and quickly, so Custom Beaute is proud to offer this procedure to help clients look and feel their best at an affordable rate. It is an honor to take care of our clients, and we seek to offer the best possible services. Fortunately, safe and effective eyeliner removal is one of them, and we look forward to helping the many people that are seeking this service. Call during regular office hours to book your consultation today.
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BAILEY’S BOUQUETS BY ERIN LAKEY
Owners of Baileys Bouquets: Twin sisters, Erin Lakey & Kelley Cavallaro from Hamlin, New York. Baileys Bouquets is a Rochester based company that specializes in paper flower arrangements and event backdrops. Arrangements can be completely c u s t o m made from all different colors and sizes to fit any wall in your home, office, work space, walk in closet/ beauty room or a specific event space or they offer arrangements to hang from a backdrop or a custom flower wall. “ We c a n bring to life any paper flower design you can dream up!” said Erin Lakey. Baileys Bouquets also offer backdrop designs using fake flowers and/or greenery that can be used for events or as a backdrop for photo shoots with the choice to add a neon sign to the wall. The sisters have been in
business together for about a year, and have done several arrangements around Rochester for local salons and even wedding venues. They do offer shipping outside of the Rochester.
bounce ideas off each other, use our imaginations and creativity and stay home while we watch our kids grow has always been a dream of ours.” says Kelley Cavallaro.
“We are twins. We’ve done everything
Kelley is happily married and has a 2 year old son named Dominic. She went to school for elementary education, worked as a Nanny through college and became a stay at home mom when her son was born. Kelley’s hobby has always been design and decorating. Helping all of her friends and family with decorating for birthday parties or remodeling their homes, Kelley has turning into a self made “go to girl” for planning and decorating the next big event, and there is never a detail left out.
together our whole life! Shared a room, bought our first apartment together, got our first job together and now live 3 houses away from each other. We were even pregnant together and both have 2 year olds! Creating a business where we can
Erin is also happily married and is the mother of two little girls, Avery
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“We can bring to life any paper fl
and Bailey (2). Erin has always been creative. She has always been able to explore her creativity while working, before also becoming a stay at home mom a couple years ago. “Paper Flowers have always been so interesting to us. They’re such a
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unique, beautiful, creative feature to add to any room, office, home, party, etc. There is so much you can do with them.” Said Erin Lakey. The sisters had seen a couple of arrangements in a few small businesses while they have traveled and always wanted to make some of their own.
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“We were bored one day. We were walking around michaels arts and crafts store which was a weekly thing for us and we just decided to take the plunge, buy some material, grab some wine and try it out ourselves” said Kelley. The arrangements became such a hit that they decided to make
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flower design you can dream up!”
a business and sell their flowers. “It has been such an honor and so humbling to think that people love our work!We put so much love and creativeness into each bouquet and we can’t wait to make more and see what the future holds for our business.” Says Erin.
The girls have many more plans in the future to grow this small business and to team up with surrounding wedding venues. They encourage people to follow their social media page through Instagram or Facebook. Their page is @baileysbouqetsrochester on Instagram where you can find pictures
of their bouquet arrangements and walls on there. For any inquiries you may message them through their instagram page, Facebook (m.facebook.com/ baileysbouquets17/), or call (585)3153782.
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{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE }
TRADES OF HOPE BY ZENIA MUNGER
Human trafficking, starvation, the economic orphan crisis, illiteracy, child brides, substance abuse, and the list goes on. These are just some of the injustices and atrocities that Trades of Hope has been tackling, one life at a time, for the last 9 years. My name is Zenia Munger and when I first heard of Trades of Hope during an online party in 2017 I was entranced. At the time I was a full-time working mom with a four month old and a three year old and a side-gig in a different direct-sales company. I “attended” the online gathering while holding a conversation with my mother-inlaw. We quickly started sending messages – “Did you see the post about the Mom’s in Haiti?”. She and I cried together as we heard the stories of hope. Stories of mothers giving up their babies so they would have a chance at a better life. Stories of people with handicaps that were being given opportunities for dignified work and honorable income. Stories of freedom, redemption, and hope through business? I remember going to work at my mother’s café that week telling my customers about this cool company. I was so excited about the products, the mission, and the concept, but I wasn’t looking for another project 254
in my life. They say that timing is everything. Last year when an email newsletter offered double hostess rewards it changed my life, and many others. Again I “attended” a party, this time I was the host. My friends participated, purchased, booked
a year before. She was particularly moved by the employment opportunities that Trades of Hope provides for member of The ARC at our packing facility in Florida. From the moment that I told her I was joining the company she told me she would likely be joining me on the journey. Kristina and I were just two moms. Each children working for our parents in their small businesses our whole lives. Each raising two kids and struggling with a sense of purpose beyond Mom, daughter, wife, employee. We didn’t know we were “looking” for more. But man, did we find it.
from that party and I decided it was time to take the plunge as a Compassionate Entrepreneur after seeing such success. My friend and co-worker, Kristina Slevin, had attended my Facebook party and fallen in love with the mission, the people, and the company just like I had
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Under the motto “Fashion as a Force of Good”, we’ve been working to change the world as partners with Trades of Hope since the Fall of 2018. We quickly discovered that while the financial benefit of selling Trades of Hope was nice, the opportunity to give back was far more life-changing. This is more than just a business. In honor of our sales Trades of Hope has gifted countless life-altering items across the globe. Our customers have helped us to donate things like chicks and fruit trees to families in Africa, so they will have a source of food and income. We’ve sent bikes to girls in Cambodia so they have a safe way to get to school, and even earned
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a full year scholarship for a young girl in Haiti to get an education. Kristina and I have found a new passion through Trades of Hope. We’re selling gorgeous, handmade pieces such as earrings, baskets, wallets, and purses that rival the quality and design of high-end designer brands, at a fraction of the cost. Arguably more importantly, we’re also educating consumers about the benefits and importance of Fair Trade and Slow Fashion. According to Fair Trade USA, “Fair Trade is a global movement, made up of a diverse network of producers, companies, shoppers, advocates, and organizations putting people and planet 258
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first.” Trades of Hope was founded with this movement at its heart. As a company, Trades of Hope puts people first, working always to create sustainable business opportunities both for our artisans and our partners. Kristina and I have been working diligently to spread awareness of the Fair Trade movement. In August we hosted a children’s storytime at the local public library, teaching children how they can change the world by purchasing (or reminding their parents to) Fair Trade. We plan to continue our outreach into the community by working with local retailers, helping them to learn more
about Fair Trade and how they can help improve our local ethical buying options. As Anna Lappé stated, “Every time you spend money, you’re casting a vote for the kind of world you want.” It is our hope that we can empower more consumers to think Fair Trade and to purchase with a purpose. For more information about how you can be a part of the Fair Trade movement contact Zenia Munger at mytradesofhope. com/zeniamunger or Kristina Slevin at mytradesofhope.com/kristinaslevin.
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Smart phone or iPad? Call or text Martone to get started today. Fullerfitness.trainerize.com Facebook.com/fullerfitness Instagram.com/fullerfitnessrny
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ZIP AROUND FOOTWEAR BY JUDY GLIDDEN I PHOTOS BY JIM HOOPER
In July 2014, Jill Glidden-VerWeire became a hero of sorts. Mike VerWeire, the man she loved for 19 years, had suffered a debilitating stroke that impacted his right side. For Mike, gone were the days of complete independence, the ability to speak, and the use of his right side. Mike was a mechanic by trade and the independent type. He owned a trucking business for nearly 30 years and working with his hands was his bread and butter, but in an instant, a stroke changed all of that. Now completely reliant on Jill when it comes to bathing, preparing food, driving, walking, and even speaking, Mike was at Jill’s mercy. Aside from the day to day activities, one of the biggest struggles for both Jill and Mike was putting shoes or boots on his feet. Not only because his toes would curl while trying to slip his foot into a shoe, but because he wore a very stiff AFO (Ankle and Foot Orthoses). An AFO is a stiff
appliance that helps control the position and motion of the ankle. While it does help to stabilize the foot and ankle, it’s not very flexible when it comes to putting a foot into a shoe, nor does it allow the foot to bend or the toes to flex. Jill searched
online for shoes that might be easier for her husband to wear, and found nothing but Velcro shoes which are not only unattractive, but did not fit the need of her husband who wears the AFO. Fed up with the daily struggles for both her and Mike, in September 2017 she had a “Eureka!” moment. She took a
trip to the local Wal*Mart, purchased a pair of boots, a metal zipper, a box of pins, some rivets and rivet gun. Determined to make this work, she cut the boots from the one side to the other, pinned in the zipper, poked holes through the zipper fabric and the leather boot with an awl, and proceeded to rivet the zipper to the outside of the boot. The rivets could be felt on the inside of the boot making it uncomfortable. After numerous pin pricks while trying to insert the rivets, she thought there must be a better way. Strike one! Trying to use a standard sewing machine was out of the question, not only because of the fabric, but because of the narrow toe and the angles she had to move around. On her second mission, she decided to sew the zipper to the inside of the boot for a cleaner look. Armed with a curved needle and thimble, she sewed the zipper to the inside of the boot by hand. She went through quite a few needles and bloody fingers during
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{ BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } “Finally, she saved up enough money and purchased a cobbler’s sewing machine - which is a manual- hand crank sewing machine.”
this attempt as they would dull very quickly because of the tough leather, but yet she made it work. Strike two! Finally, she saved up enough money and purchased a cobbler’s sewing machine - which is a manual- hand crank sewing machine. Armed with her “new technology”, she began modifying shoes by sewing the zippers into them by holding the shoes with the zipper with her left hand and cranking the wheel of the sewing machine with her right hand, and ZAF’s was born! Home run! ZAF’s is the acronym for Zip Around Footwear. ZAF’s have not only helped those with limited dexterity and mobility, but also their caretakers. Whether it be somebody with the use of only one hand, paralysis of the lower extremities, or foot appliances, ZAF’s and Jill have already made the lives of hundreds of people easier because of the ease of putting on the shoe. With only one hand, a person can unzip the shoe, place their foot on the sole of the shoe, and zip it back up. Since Jill’s newfound creation, she had modified shoes for her husband, her young neighbor who was hit by a car a few years ago while riding his bike and suffered a traumatic brain injury, her sister who had a double bunionectomy, and for those who suffer from cerebral palsy, foot drop, stroke, club foot, paralysis, and for the ease of the caregivers.
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{ SHIFT+CONTROL { BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT} } “Armed with her “new technology”, she began modifying shoes by sewing the zippers into them by holding the shoes with the zipper with her left hand and cranking the wheel of the sewing machine with her right hand, and ZAF’s was born! Home run!”
Jill’s main goal is to modify existing shoes into ZAF’s. She has done this for people all over the world including people as far away as Australia, Brazil, The UK, and Ireland. One of her best success stories is about a child the age of 8 who suffered from Smiths-Magenis Syndrome. Because of his inability to tie his own shoes, Jill modified a pair of Batman shoes into ZAF’s so he could put on his shoes by himself. Not only did he not have to wear Velcro shoes anymore, he could wear some stylish Batman shoes! For this young man, these shoes gave him independence, “cool shoes”, a sense of style, and confidence! For more information, visit www. ziparoundfootwear.com
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{ BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } “ZAF’s is the acronym for Zip Around Footwear. ZAF’s have not only helped those with limited dexterity and mobility, but also their caretakers.”
We provide more footwear choices for those with special needs. It can be quite challenging trying to find a shoe that is not only affordable, but one that can accommodate a foot with toes that curl back, or under, or a foot with an Ankle-foot orthosis (AFO) on. Zip Around Footwear provides an easy and affordable solution.
1-800-886-ZAFSZIPAROUNDFOOTWEAR@AOL.COM
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ROCHESTER LANCERS DANCERS BY KARI MILLER
The Rochester Lancer Dancers are a dance team of amazingly talented girls that perform at all Rochester Lancer’s home games for the Men’s Indoor/Outdoor Soccer Team. The Lancers play their indoor games at the Dome in Henrietta in the winter months and outdoor games are played at the Aquinas Institute in the summer months. The Lancer Dancer team is looking for outgoing girls ages 17-25 to rehearse weekly on dance routines and perform throughout Lancer games. We are expected to entertain the Lancer fans with our dance routines, sidelines and promos giveaways . Being a member of the Lancer Dancer’s give’s you many opportunities to meet some amazing people as well as being a part of the Lancer family and culture. Kari Miller is the Choreographer/ Director of the Lancer Dancer’. She is married to head coach and former player, Doug Miller #19 and both of their daughter’s, Kayla and Kalista dance on the team. Kari was the choreographer for the Jr. Lancer Dancer’s for 4 years and then continued with the Lancer Dancer’s 272
for both outdoor and indoor seasons. She grew up being a competitive dancer and danced herself on many professional dance teams. She also graduated from Brockport College with her BS in Dance. This past year was our first year holding a Jr. Lancer Dancer Camp for young boys and girls ages 5-15
who would love to experience what a game day is like for the Lancer Dancer’s. We do warm-ups, teach a dance that they perform with the Lancer Dancer’s at half time, learn sidelines, help with promo’s, have a Q&A with the dancer’s and get their autographs. It’s been a huge success and we love working with future stars.
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The Lancer Dancers are a huge part of the Rochester community. The girls will do appearances for local events in Rochester to promote the dance team as well as the Rochester Lancers. Every summer we spend a day at Camp Good Days with the kids to help put a smile on their faces. Little do they know, they put a smile on our faces as well. We are also lucky enough to have some of the best local companies sponsor our dance team year after year, especially GLOW Sunless Tanning. The Dance team will have our GLOW tans for ever y game! Please follow the Lancer Dancer’s to stay up dated on appearances the girls make around town and audition dates. We want you to be a part of this amazing team so come to our next audition! It’s an incredible organization to be a part of. Contact Us: kari@rlancers.com Fo l l ow u s o n In s t a g ra m : @ rochesterlancerdancers Like us on Facebook: Rochester Lancer Dancers
{ WOMEN TO WATCH } “Being a member of the Lancer Dancer’s give’s you many opportunities to meet some amazing people as well as being a part of the Lancer family and culture.”
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“The Lancer Dancers are a huge part of the Rochester community. The girls will do appear Lancers. Every summer we spend a day at Camp Good D
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rances for local events in Rochester to promote the dance team as well as the Rochester Days with the kids to help put a smile on their faces.�
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IS CROSSFIT STILL INTIMIDATING FOR WOMEN BY REESE JONES
AND ULTIMATELY I M PAC T I N G PARTICIPATION RATES? Any woman knows that CrossFit is not for the faint of heart. The explosive workout combines powerlifting, strength training, speed training, gymnastics, and much more. At first glance, CrossFit’s intense sessions can be intimidating, especially when you see buff women o n Yo u Tu b e or on the television talking about their commitment and passion for the sport. However, there’s no reason why women should be intimidated by CrossFit. It’s actually one of the safest methods for anyone looking to build strength, agility, endurance, and confidence. STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY While you might think that CrossFit is a male-dominated sport, it is actually more popular with women. In fact, the American Council on Exercise 282
reveals that 60% of the 10 million self-described CrossFitters are women. This interest in this power sport may have to do with changing beauty standards and a greater appreciation of healthier lifestyles around the world. For women, in particular, being thin is no longer the only measure of beauty or fitness. In Kitty Teresi’s brief history of women and fitness, she
emphasizes the transition from brawn to buff in fitness for all genders. It is no longer shameful to have muscular arms and big thighs as a girl, just as it is fine to have skinny legs and a small waist. This means typical ‘sports for men’ like powerlifting, boxing, and CrossFit, are no longer off-limits, and have in fact become more inviting towards women.
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CROSSFIT AND INCLUSIVITY CrossFit’s appeal goes beyond the fact that it’s an intense workout, as it is built on a foundation that embraces diversity and inclusivity. An article on how CrossFit fosters inclusivity, discusses how most gyms try to do away with stereotypes by fostering an inclusive community and promoting a focus on improving personal strength. For instance, a personal story published on The Mighty details how individuals with disabilities have solidified their place in CrossFit, since they see the sport as an opportunity to be treated as an equal while gaining strength, independence, and confidence. The LGBT community has found its home in CrossFit, too — an impressive feat considering how fitness environments often become breeding grounds for toxic masculinity. The aptly titled ‘CrossFit is the new contender for gayest sport on the planet’ argues that the sport’s ethos is built on inclusivity — and it shows. More CrossFit boxes around the country that cater specifically to
{ SHIFT+CONTROL } “While you might think that CrossFit is a male-dominated sport, it is actually more popular with women. In fact, the American Council on Exercise reveals that 60% of the 10 million self-described CrossFitters are women.”
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women and the LGBT community are popping up, with the goal of creating safe spaces. These boxes do not tolerate any kind of discrimination and are less intimidating than your normal gym. Because of a culture of openness and safety, tight-knit fitness groups often emerge out of these establishments. CrossFit’s creator Greg Glassman sums up this sentiment about the sport perfectly by saying: “I don’t have anything but love in my heart for anyone who wants to find health 284
and fitness—we were friendlier than other fitness communities in that regard.” He added: “There’s no place for anything but hard work and love. Nothing else really matters.” The fitness community is growing leaps and bounds, dropping old stigmas and harmful stereotypes. CrossFit is definitely one of the sports at the forefront of promoting inclusivity for those who need it the most. The future looks bright for anyone who wants to go to a box for the first
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time, as these spaces become less intimidating and more welcoming for anyone looking to get fit. Feature article for rochesterwomanonline. com Contributed by Cassidy Knight
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THE MUSE CO. BY DENISE ESTER
I’m Denise Ester, Owner & Creative Director at Muse Company formerly known as Muse Event Coordination +Design. I grew up as a military child, moving to a new state or country every couple of years.
is something about the culture here. It’s not just the garbage plates and Wegmans that kept me here, it’s the people. From public art on city streets, to the music, dance and
Being exposed to so many different cultures, beliefs, and traditions as a young girl really shaped who I am and taught me that our diversity is what makes us beautiful. Living in multiple places – Germany, Georgia, L o u i s i a n a , No r t h Carolina, New York – also developed my eye for design. As a seven-yearold living in Germany, my interests differed from the little girls who played princess in their pretend castles. I was intrigued with the artistry of the cobblestone roads and the architectural structure of the windows and buildings. All things pretty, meant something different to me even way back then. A s a yo u n g c h i l d , I would often visit my grandparents in Rochester, never imagining that this is where I would plant roots and raise my family. But here I am - still here, 14 years after I first moved. Rochester is the place I have lived the longest in my whole life - there
to explore. I am a leader in my church, and believe in serving the community, supporting women and mentoring youth. I am also a mother of two amazing and talented young men, who not only keep me on my toes but push me to continually better myself. When I started Muse in 2014, I knew that I didn’t want it to be a cookie cutter event company. I wanted to truly make an impact - to do events with a purpose. Which is why when I met Sarah Korba in 2017, my business partner, I knew she was just the right fit. In addition to being an experienced DYIer who handcrafts birthday dresses for her two little girls, she has a wealth of experience in non-profit events and fundraising, an incredible eye for detail and project planning. I’m a big idea girl - Sarah helps me to stay grounded in reality. Together, we make the perfect team, complementing each other with our skills sets.
theater. Rochester is a city with an abundance of character and is rich in history. I have embraced Rochester as if I have lived here my whole life, attending festivals, checking out new restaurants and always looking
Muse isn’t just another wedding planning company. Muse Co. is a lifestyle company. Our clients are looking to celebrate life events, a promotion at work, a retirement, a family gathering, fundraising or the birth of a baby. We strive to capture their joy and excitement and ensure all of our
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designs and events reflect the client. From decor for a new home, an office space, corporate meetings, menu for dinner parties or taking an overwhelmed bride’s ideas and giving her the day, she always dreamed of, honoring the client is always our priority. There is no event too big or too small when you are the muse. We’ve been very fortunate to have a team of people alongside us to support our business and vision, which has allowed us to expand to a sub-division Muse Design Shop, where we create custom pieces or custom favors for our clients. At Muse, we have also been working 290
on a bit of a personal side project for most of 2019. Being an event planner means keeping track of many details - and as Sarah and I are both busy working moms - add to that kid activities, doctors’ appointments, and the many to do’s that come with busy active families. Sarah and I both prefer paper planners, there is something much more satisfying about using paper and pen as opposed to using an app; but we could never find just the right one to fit our needs. They were either too big to fit in our bag or too small to capture all the details. They don’t have all the extras we need- I like to do a monthly budget, Sarah needs to do weekly meal planning -
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so we end up buying a lot of extras and creating our own inserts. With our struggles in mind we decided to create our own planner for 2020! It’s really coming together nicely, and we can’t wait to release a preview of our 2020 planner this fall! We are waiting to create the event you envision. Make sure to follow us on your social media of choice! You can find Muse on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest or check out our website: www.musecompany.co
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FLOUR CITY INSURANCE BY ANGEL BUNCE
ANGEL’S JOURNEY TO SUCCESS A self employed, mother of 3 who isn’t afraid of taking risks. Growing up, we’re always told to plan for our successes in life. Well, things didn’t always go as planned for me.
Departing from my career with that company in the spring of 2015, I gathered information from hands on experiences with local providers and in 2016, Flour City Insurance was born!
As you can imagine, many doubted me. Heck, sometimes I doubted myself. I had people I expected to help push me forward, do nothing but drag me down in an effort to stifle my growth, purely for their gain. Trust me, I have seen it all.
Officially becoming a mother at 16 and growing into a successful business owner in my early thirties, didn’t come without challenges. Walking the stage to receive my diploma, with my two year old in the crowd cheering me on, set the foundation for my “I can achieve anything” attitude.
Beyond my personal sacrifices and hard work, I owe a great deal of my success to a select few that kept me afloat by reminding me that I’m capable of anything I put my mind to. Countless pep talks.
Instead of college, I choose a full time job in retail. I quickly gravitated to an office position which assisted in some much needed financial freedom for my little family. I even held a few positions within the healthcare industry before finding my true calling in Insurance Sales. I began my career with a very large well established Insurance Agency founded here in Rochester, NY. Although I loved it deeply, I became aware of the void for personalized service that big box organizations always struggle with. Not to mention, I always pondered doing it myself on my own, so I put a plan together.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), it distracted me from my over all goal and I decided to focus 100% of my time and effort on growing my new business - Flour City Insurance Agency.
It was a huge leap and I was terrified. Looking back at it all, my fear guided me to play it smart. I even decided to work part time for a small used car dealership, which allowed me to see yet another angle of the necessity for better insurance services.
I worked from home for a year, but had a satellite office I could use to meet clients in the heart of downtown Rochester. In March of 2018, I signed an extended lease at 1260 Scottsville Rd Suite 202a. Although I still had a few financial fears, I have committed to not looking back. I know I can do this! In May of 2018 I hired my 1st employee who worked tirelessly to help me sell insurance and expand my book of business. A few months later I hired my second employee and the growth continues. I strive everyday to be better than yesterday! Keeping the mindset that I will do this!
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{ WOMAN OWNED BUSINESS } “ Although I still had a few financial fears, I have committed to not looking back. I know I can do this! ”
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SHE SALON BY SARAH WRIGHT I PHOTOS BY MARISA NICODEMUS
SHE KNOWS BEAUTY I met Kaitlyn Fransisco at a business networking meeting. I’m acquainted with several salons in the area, but it was immediately apparent that Kaitlyn has something unique going on. She mentioned services I was unfamiliar with, like lash lifts and microblading. My interest piqued, I asked her to breakfast to learn more.
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After the numbing cream applied to my brows had time to do its thing, I lay down on the salon chair and Kaitlyn went to work. Does microblading hurt? In a word, yes. But not as badly as you may think. If you can stand piercings, shots, tattoos, etc., then microblading won’t be so bad. If you do have a hard time tolerating those procedures, I’d still say to visit SHE all the same. Kaitlyn only does as many strokes as you can handle at once, and you get
The opposites attracting principle comes into play here; Kaitlyn is the person for whom the term “effervescent” was coined, while I’m more reserved. She’s a lot of fun to talk with, and is easy to open up to. Among other subjects, we talked about our beauty preferences and skincare routines. I asked about microblading, as I knew only that it had something to do with eyebrows, and while I can’t be bothered to wear much makeup, I feel like my face disappears without some color on my brows. She explained what is involved in a microblading procedure, and it was quickly apparent that it was something I wanted, so we set up an appointment.
two kinds of numbing cream, one before the service, one midway through. It does not feel like a cut or injection, more like a sharp scraping, as if someone is combing your brows too hard.
On entering SHE salon, the personal touch is already there. The salon is comfortable, with a luxurious yet inviting feeling. It’s also very clean- even the carpet in the waiting area is lint-free. The walls are adorned with art, and each room has its own personality.
This method (cutting or scraping the skin and applying ink or pigment) is a timehonored way of imprinting color, practiced in multiple lands and cultures over the centuries. Now we have sterile solutions and tools to keep our bodies safe, and
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certificates on the walls attesting to our technician’s credentials. But, Kaitlyn tells me, microblading is not the same as tattooing the way we understand it today. The pigment is not injected into the dermis, but applied to the area between the epidermis and the dermis beneath. Thus, microblading doesn’t last as long as tattooed makeup, but that can be a good thing for people who want to adjust the color or shape. She also says that tattooing brows hurts less than microblading because the needles for permanent makeup are very fine and don’t need to go in far to penetrate the dermis. When my brow color begins to fade, I may have that done next. The residual pain from my brow treatment is gone the next morning, but the hardest part is not getting my brows wet for the next ten days! They get a little itchy as they heal, but you mustn’t scratch or pick. Light pressing or tapping helps, the way you might treat a hairpiece. At my follow-up appointment, we take time for some interview questions. Would you give our readers a rundown of the services available here? “We do microblading, eyelash extensions, needle-free fillers, lash lifts, body waxing, facials, permanent makeup, and spray tans.
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{ WOMAN OWNED BUSINESS } “ “We wear our hearts on our sleeves here. We’re devoted to spreading positive energy- we all go through such sadness and hardship, there should be a place where we know we’ll leave feeling better about ourselves. Our doors are open, our ears are open.”
it’s a new service that pushes the filler into the skin in small, pressurized ‘blasts,’ similar to new technology for administering insulin or anesthesia. It gives you a fresh, subtle look, not a swollen, unnatural one.” How did you get started in cosmetology, and what did you train in? “I graduated beauty school 10 years ago, and afterward I was a makeup artist for Estee Lauder, Bobbi Brown, and Scott Miller. I did eyelash work independently on the side. I’ve always had a knack for eyelashes, and as I built my skills and clientele, I decided to operate totally on my own. I rented a room for a while, and two years ago I was able to open SHE. I’ve been doing lashes for ten years now and am six times certified as a lash educator through NALA (National Association of Lash Artists). I also teach all about lashes at my lash academy.” Elaborate on the lash academy? “Basically, eyelash artists take my Eyelashes 101 class, practice doing different types of lashes, and attend workshops for services like colored lashes and extra volume. At the end, they are tested on their knowledge and ability. If they pass, they receive SHE Salon’s own
certification, accredited by NALA. For about a year and a half, I’ve been writing a comprehensive manual on eyelash extension techniques, designs, care, and safety. In the manual I’ve compiled information from my own experience and all the brands I’m certified through. Each graduate can keep their manual to guide them on everything from eyelash adhesives to aftercare. Right now, I’m looking for a bigger space to hold classes.
what brand of lashes and adhesives they use, then look up the brand and make sure it’s reputable and American-made.” Tell me about your philanthropic work. “We donate a lot of services for charitable organizations. We love holding events for people who have been through violence, illness, and other traumas. The salon chair has always been a place of therapy and comfort, and that’s how we approach it.” What’s your favorite service to do? “I love them all, but I’ve done so many in my career that it’s safe to say that SHE’s service menu is a good picture of my favorites. All in all, my favorite service is one that gives the client joy.” At the end of the day, what do you want people to know about your work and SHE Salon?
My vision is to have a space with a salon on one side and a school on the other.” If someone is looking for a salon that does fillers, eyelash extensions, and such, what are some things they should watch for, good and bad?
“We wear our hearts on our sleeves here. We’re devoted to spreading positive energy- we all go through such sadness and hardship, there should be a place where we know we’ll leave feeling better about ourselves. Our doors are open, our ears are open. You’ll arrive as a client and leave as a friend.”
“First, make sure that they’re licensed and certified. Then, hit up social media. Read reviews and check out pictures of their work. Ask questions! For instance, if you’re looking for lash extensions, ask ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SEPTEMBER FASHION EDITION 2019
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TRIBELLA PT.2 BY CHERYL L. KATES I PHOTOS BY MICHAEL CRISAFULLI
LASER SKINCARE OF ROCHESTER’S TRIBELLA SKIN TIGHTENING - PT 2 I went in for my second treatment at Laser Skin Care of Rochester which as you recall, was the second of three skin treatments given in a series. My appointments are spaced out once a month for three months. I am receiving the Tribella treatment, which is a laser-style treatment of Venus Versa. It combines three, procedures which are nonsurgical in nature. The results indicate you will experience smoother, younger, healthier, looking skin, which can be visible after just one treatment. The system is a combo treatment of photofacial, anti-aging and skin resurfacing, allowing for a correction in tone, reducing age spots and sun damage, erasing fine lines, firming up skin and treating skin textural conditions such as rosacea, enlarged pores and scars. Tribella is also a photo-facial procedure that combines resurfacing using the synergistic fusion technique giving you the ultimate combined
treatment. I am also receiving the IPL photo-facial which treats ailments such as redness, broken facial vessels and brown aging spots. It can be used on other areas such as the neck, feet, back, arms, legs upper chest and even hands. Through the use of intense pulsed light and
SmartPulse technology, the machine used, shoots pulses of intense light. You don’t experience any pain with this treatment and there are only a few days of downtime, where you can experience redness to the area treated. I am also receiving the skin tightening procedures, which treat the effects of aging focusing on loose skin. This
treatment is again used on a variety of areas and rebuilds collagen giving the area which is treated structure and definition. All of the treatments are non-surgical. They can be combined together at one treatment session, as I previously reported. At the second treatment, the intensity is turned up. I still was relaxed and enjoyed my time at Laser Skin Care of Rochester. I was very hopeful and couldn’t wait to see the results after treatment number two. I was skeptical going into this originally and was shocked at the amazing results from the first treatment. Last time, the aftermath of the treatment was a little shocking in that immediately after, my face looked like I had a severe sunburn, which not having experienced this before, I was a little concerned as to how long that would last. It resolved in around two days, so it was not bad at all, given the amazing results to my skin. I didn’t worry extensively because the ladies explained all of the effects and what I needed to do to provide myself with the best care after undergoing the procedures.
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{ DISHING WITH THE DIVAS } “Being non-surgical treatments, these series of treatments do offer a less invasive option to achieve similar results!�
On treatment number two, the redness was not as intense and resolved in about a day. Prior to treatment, I had extensive reddening in the cheek area of my face and little broken capillaries. Most of the capillaries, after two treatments are no longer visible. I had two faint brown aging spots, which are also barely noticeable after the treatments. My skin looks a lot healthier, after receiving the treatments and feels smoother. I also notice the skin tightened up and there was an improvement. The
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concentrated redness in the cheek area of my face shows improvement and is barely noticeable. Overall, treating at Laser Skin Care of Rochester is a positive experience. This naysayer is definitely convinced these treatments are beneficial and do work. I plan to continue treating with them after my series is completed for follow up and maintenance. I do recommend that you check out their services and go in and see Monica or Melissa for a consult. These are
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definitely treatments and services to look into. The benefits outweigh the inconvenience of appearing sunburned for a couple days! Being non-surgical treatments, these series of treatments do offer a less invasive option to achieve similar results!
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2423 Monroe ave Rochester, New York 14618 (585) 417-5189 www.laserskincareofrochester.com
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FROZEN SHOULDER BY JOSEPH TSCHAMALA
Adhesive capsulitis, also known as “frozen shoulder”, describes a long-standing and ongoing painful limitation of shoulder passive and active range of motion. Frozen shoulder progresses through three stages. The first stage is the painful “freezing” stage that includes a progressive loss of shoulder motion. The second “frozen” stage is characterized by an ongoing and sometimes dramatic loss of range of motion that can last several months. The final “thawing” stage entails decreasing pain and improved mobility. Most patients report a slow onset of pain and stiffness that started following an event, (i.e.fall/ surgery) or another condition (i.e. rotator cuff strain, bursitis, etc.) Some patients are notable to identify a cause for their problem. Your range of motion will be most limited with reaching overhead, behind your back, or to the side. Sometimes this can pose a challenge for grooming and dressing. You may feel a grinding or popping when you move your shoulder. Be sure to tell your doctor if you notice fever, night sweats, excessive thirst,
excessive urination, nausea, chest pain/ pressure, or shortness of breath. Patients with diabetes or thyroid disease are much more likely to develop adhesive capsulitis. The condition is most common in the 40-65-year-old population. Females are affected more frequently, and there is no preference for handedness. If you have had a prior episode in the opposite arm, you are at greater risk.
While there is no single treatment that can quickly “cure” adhesive capsulitis, our office may help. At Irondequoit Chiropractic Center, we are here to help. Our mission is to provide a timely and sustainable recovery. We practice a wide range of evidence-based techniques to aid in your recovery, customized for each patient. The following are
some treatment options for adhesive capsulitis or “frozen shoulder”. Proper evaluation is crucial in selection of treatment modality. Chiropractic Manipulative Treatment to help restore your full range of motion. Therapy modalities such as cold laser or electric stimulation to minimize muscle tightness, pain, and swelling. Therapeutic stretching to increase your flexibility. Neuromuscular Massage Therapy to improve circulation and reduce pain. Connectx Therapy to strip muscle adhesions for improved range of motion, increased flexibility and circulation. Kinesiology Taping to decompress the tissue immediately below the skin improving circulation and the sliding and gliding between tissue layers. Exercise and training review to schedule your return to the activities you enjoy. Irondequoit Chiropractic Center is proud to have served the Rochester community for more than 20 years. You can schedule an appointment anytime by contacting our office.
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GENTLE & HEALING CHIROPRACTIC CARE
Achieve the healthy, active life that you have been missing
2164 HUDSON AVE., ROCHESTER, NY 14617 585-467-7070 I WWW.IRONDEQUOITCHIROPRACTIC.COM
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FLEXX MOBILITY & PERFORMANCE Stephanie is like any other working mother - busy running around between both her kids’ activities, work, and life responsibilities. Mothers like her take on so much that she let her health get the best of her. In her 40s, she was looking for something different, something better - not only lose weight, but to look and feel good and keep the weight off. That’s when Stephanie came across Justen Arnold at Flexx Mobility & Performance, LLC. and her life changed for the better. Through proper strength and conditioning coupled with a healthier approach to nutrition, she was able to lose almost 30 lbs. while putting on lean muscle. But that’s not all. She also noticed improvements in everyday functions like carrying sleeping kids from a Red Wings game across the parking lot, having less stress, seeing better skin, and sleeping better. This is what FlexxMP is all about: providing a multi-faceted approach to fitness because they believe that physical exercise goes way beyond training the body. Achieving and maintaining a healthy physical body requires an understanding of how it functions. That means working with and training the mind, body, and spirit.
That means spending just as much time (if not more) on learning about the client’s life and mind vs. solely focusing on the client’s body history. Both are important, but the first one yields greater engagement, effort and results. That approach makes it an educational inclusive sanctuary where everyone is welcome and all of the trainers are qualified and experienced enough to work on this level with an
such as running, you will actually be better! Stronger muscles mean better performance and fewer injuries -period. Your core will be able to support your body’s weight while maintaining better form during other exercises (like running), plus your arms and legs will be more powerful. Since strength training increases the number and size of calorie-torching muscle fibers fueling your performance, strength training could actually help you burn more calories during your cardio workouts. Just ask any of the triathletes or marathon runners who work with trainers at FlexxMP. Arnold, who owns and runs FlexxMP, said he is asked questions on a weekly basis about the best things to do for certain results. For example, “What’s the best cardio to ‘tone’?” or ”What’s the best thing I can I do to lose weight?’” or “Won’t lifting make me big and bulky?”
eclectic mix of people. There are so many benefits to putting an emphasis on functional strength and conditioning over just cardio, like we do at FlexxMP. That includes targeting injury prevention, torching more body fat, becoming more defined, strengthening the bones (which weaken as we get older), getting stronger (the obvious), boosting heart health, and if you like to enjoy activities
To the question about lifting making a person “big and bulky,” Arnold’s answer is an emphatic “NO!” The answers to the others are all strength training. If you are unsure about that answer, there are several new studies to support that stance, showing that women may benefit from heavy training even more than men.
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{ BE MORE } “When it comes to weight training, one of the main differences between the male and female body is that the first relies more on testosterone while the latter relies more on growth hormone to increase muscle and bone strength. ”
According to Fitness and Power Magazine, “Since women cannot get bigger muscles than men, they should lift heavier to improve their muscle strength and definition. When it comes to weight training, one of the main differences between the male and female body is that the first relies more on testosterone while the latter relies more on growth hormone to increase muscle and bone strength. Lifting heavy weights (3-4 reps per set) helps maximize growth hormone production in women, which is a good thing because this hormone is vital for metabolic function and muscle and bone development. And the more growth hormone stimulated, the bigger the benefits of the workout.” One recent study that investigated the effects of different kinds of weight training on growth hormone production in women found that growth hormone was most responsive to moderate (about 12 reps) and heavy (about 3 reps) lifting regimens. “Women need to have a heavy loading cycle in their resistance training routines,” said lead researcher William J. Kraemer. If you didn’t already know, cardio only burns calories and fat during the activity, while weightlifting causes your body to consume more oxygen both, during, and after the training. This is called Excess Post-Exercise Oxygen Consumption or EPOC. It increases your metabolic rate and keeps it elevated hours or even days after your workout. Also, the more muscle you have, the more calories you will burn at rest because your body has to work harder the more lean and muscular you are. 320
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585-851-FMP6 I BEMORE@FLEX
XXMP.COM I FLEXXMP.COM
Designing landscapes with a purpose Save the Bees • Protect our Water Promote Pollinators • Plant trees for clean air
broccolotreeandlawn.com • 585-424-4476
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THE WOMEN OF BROCCOLO BY CHERYL L. KATES I PHOTOS BY MICHAEL CRISAFULLI
LORI BROCCOLO FOUNDER AND CEO In 1990, Lori founded Broccolo. She always wanted to work outside. She studied ecology in high school and then earned an AAS in ornamental horticulture and environmental conservation from FLCC. She was fortunate to begin her career in the field working for Todd Collins, who was ahead of his time in the business. He promoted diversity in the field. There were still some challenges from coworkers being a woman in the field, but Lori overcame them. Lori finds the connections and relationships she made while working as the most rewarding thing she experienced while in business. Lori plans to continue learning about our environment and sharing her experiences and knowledge with others. Over the next 5 years, she will continue to expand and improve Broccolo Garden Center. Lori shares:“Believe in yourself. Seek out positive influences, walk away from negativity. Keep dreaming and never stop learning! I am very proud of the accomplishments our women’s leadership team and diversity of cultures brings to the table at Broccolo. Everyone brings positive contributions with new ways of thinking. While we all struggle with recruiting, and retaining help like many 326
businesses, our male colleagues are missing out on more than 70% of the eligible population ready and willing to work by not opening their minds to who that employee could be ( meaning not extending opportunities to all people)”. Lori finds the hate and prejudice we are experiencing in this country sickening.
Promoting diversity and accepting everyone is a personal passion of hers. She asks herself, “How can our company make a difference in the world?” She believes hiring with diversity is one of the ways. She also loves to coach women and people of color and teaching people job skills needed to succeed. Lori attributes her husband Albert Broccolo as being the foundation in her life that allows her to continue to empower other women through the business and in her personal life. He makes her laugh. She recalls being a
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shy 15-year-old girl. Her relationship with her husband allowed her to work through the many trials and tribulations she experienced including losing her 18-year-old brother to suicide. He encouraged Lori to follow her dreams and supported every endeavor she embarked upon. It was Albert’s commitment which assisted in balancing out family life and running a large successful business. Lori also appreciates through Albert’s encouragement she experienced and tried so many new things such as scuba diving and riding motorcycles. Lori learned through overcoming obstacles she can push forward and succeed. She learned from losing her brother to educate herself about mental illness and depression. She learned to analyze her own feelings of depression, anger and intense passion. She learned to accept human nature and all of the complexities that go with it as we travel through life and find success. We must go through obstacles that’s just part of the journey! JESSICA DEMASIO SALES MANAGER Jessica started her career with Broccolo in 2004, fresh out of college. She studied horticulture at FLCC. Previously, while at Paul Smith’s college, she studied forestry. Jessica said her career choice was natural as she always had a love for nature. Being a woman in a man-dominated field is not
{ GARDENING TIPS WITH BROCCOLO } “Believe in yourself. Seek out positive influences, walk away from negativity. Keep dreaming and never stop learning! ”
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{ GARDENING TIPS WITH BROCCOLO } ““Believe in yourself. Seek out positive influences, walk away from negativity. Keep dreaming and never stop learning! ”
always easy. Jessica shares regularly over the years, customers call for a certified arborist and are leery when they open the door and see a woman. Jessica was the only female in her major in college. She knew then she would face a challenge of always feeling “she had something to prove”. Jessica is confident in her field and she knows she is her only “critic” who matters to her. Jessica went through losing her mother and reports this was the biggest obstacle she was forced to overcome. She prides having the experience working at Broccolo and enjoys most, the positive relationships she gained among her coworkers. She finds the issue of racial injustice, as one of the most troubling societal problems. She believes in equal treatment and rights for all!
person in her life. Debi moved back to NY from California. Her mom made life a little easier by doing small things like coming over when Debi was at work and throwing in the laundry or doing the dishes. Debi recalls coming home exhausted and being so relieved her mom took the time to do these things, so she could have a few moments to herself. She knows she can always rely on her mom to be there when she needs her. Debi shares to our readers, “First off, you
DEBI BRIDGES FNANCIAL MANAGER In March of 2015, Debi began her career at Broccolo. She was looking for a company with a good reputation. While growing up in Henrietta, she heard about Laurie Broccolo, and the great work she does for our environment. When starting out at the company, Debi recalls what an easy transition, she experienced being the new kid on the block! She shares fond memories of attending her first Spring Kick Off Luncheon and how friendly and helpful her fellow employees were. She plans to continue with Broccolo over the next five years! Debi was a single mother struggling to raise her family on her own (2 boys). Her mother proved to be the most significant 330
are never too old to follow your dreams! I went back to school when I was in my late 40’s and earned my degree in Accounting”. Debi found a passion in the social justice issue of racial injustice. She believes everyone should be treated equally and without prejudice. She indicates:“I feel that whatever nationality you are, we are all in America trying to feed our families and have a good, meaningful
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life. Parents should never be pulled from their children”. DIANE MEYERS OPERATIONS MANAGER Diane started in 1998. She felt a love for gardening and plants, which she inherited from working with her mother and grandmothers in their personal gardens. She came to a point where she realized it was time for a career change, so after taking some classes to increase her knowledge, she reached out to Broccolo Gardens to explore career opportunities. She started off working part-time and by fall was hired full-time, beginning the following season. Diane shares she too had some interesting experiences being a woman in a maledominated field. In 1998, she attended a national seminar in Baltimore with some of the other employees at Broccolo. She was amazed at how few women were in attendance. The vendors ignored the women. It was obvious they felt when the women were looking at their products, they would not be the decision-makers to make a purchase. At one point, someone stopped a group of us and asked us what we do? When we told them, we all worked out in the field, they were surprised. They said, “Cool- chicks with chainsaws”. Amazing, the perception of women, was Diane’s response to the characterizations. Diane shared: “Over time, as my responsibilities changed, I would come in contact with vendors who didn’t seem to respect my position. They simply didn’t earn our business. I would say that it feels
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{ GARDENING { SHIFT+CONTROL TIPS WITH BROCCOLO } } “Just do it! So often things seem like they are unattainable. Most often, it is because you haven’t taken the time to look at the possibilities.”
so normal to me now to be partnering with many men from various companies. I believe I earned their respect and they now have an understanding that I am the customer. They also realize that partnering with me is a mutually beneficial business relationship for them”. Through the years, Diane indicates she has dealt with many family crisis situations including 9/11; four cancer journeys with her mother, father, sister and husband. Last winter, Diane lost both her father and her husband, only two months apart. She indicates the only thing which got her through this was the tremendous support she received from her employers, the Broccolos. She was afforded the flexibility to accomplish her work around her personal matters. Not many employers extend these types of opportunities to their employees. The focus is usually on their business and their business only. Being employed with people
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who really care about their employees, beyond just what they do for them is a great and an unusual opportunity. Diane indicates she admires the strength of her sister Donna. She watched her through the years overcome many obstacles. She did so, while being the mother to two sons. Diane shares a few words to our readers about following your dreams: “Just do it! So often things seem like they are unattainable. Most often, it is because you haven’t taken the time to look at the possibilities. If you look into it and try, you can usually find a way”. RWO asked Diane where we would see her in 5 years, she responded: “I’m not really certain right now. I am in the stages of thinking what retirement may look like. With the recent loss of my husband, I don’t want to make any drastic, sudden changes.
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I am considering re-locating to be closer to my sister and nephews. My work is here. My house is here. I am allowing it to be a possibility down the road. I just don’t have all the answers just yet. I would love to still be able to work for Broccolo remotely. All answers will come in time”. We also asked Diane to share what her passions were about social justice. She shared: “I am deeply troubled with the state of our country right now on many levels. I guess I don’t have one specific issue. Right now, it feels like there are so many! I do still hold hope for a better future”. RWO was pleased to introduce you to the women leadership team at Broccolo Garden Center. We love that they bring diversity to the gardening field and are successful and thriving in business. Check them out for all your gardening needs!
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FRIENDS BY ROBIN DEWIND
When I ask my teenage daughter what she’s doing upstairs, she’ll quickly yell down, “watching Friends”. It surprises me that a sitcom that is twenty-five years old would appeal to my Generation Z-er. She can spend hours laying on her bed binge watching episodes. I guess the idea of all of your highly attractive best friends sitting around drinking coffee and living across the hall in a fabulous New York City apartment is a fantasy that never loses its appeal. It was a rainy Sunday afternoon when I met up with “Friends” again. There was nothing to do and nowhere to go and for a change, my daughter put on Netflix in the living room. I was close to the age of all of the “friends” when it first aired back in 1994. My twenty-something life was turning thirty and I loved the idea of the show just like the rest of America. We all wanted to have friends like Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler. Now the thought of watching something I had already experienced a quarter of a century ago seemed like a waste of an afternoon when I could be getting something done around the house. I already knew what this show was all about. But if my daughter was inviting me in 342
to her world, even for a twenty minute episode, I wasn’t going to say no. As I sat on the couch watching the opening credits I remember how much I loved Rachel. Back then, I fell in love with her character and wanted to be like her. The hair was beautiful, her body was perfect and the cloths she wore were effortless. Rachel was the ideal.
Her obsession with cleaning, the over organization, and her demanding and highly competitive nature felt comfortable. Just watching the show and wasting the afternoon was making me crazy inside. Cloths needed to be folded, the dishwasher had to be emptied and I was already planning my Monday work day schedule and typing in MapQuest for the quickest route to my client’s office. I was anxious and Monday wasn’t even here yet. How d i d t h i s happen? How did I turn from a Rachel into a Monica? I was no longer breezy.
Secretly, we gals back then all thought we were like Rachel, (or we wanted to be.) She was laid back, funny and saw the good in everyone. She was messy at times, and didn’t seem to have a care in the world. We forgave her for getting back together with Ross so many times. After about five minutes of watching the show as my older self, it was quickly apparent to me that I had turned into a Monica.
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It got me thinking back to own my friends in the early 90’s. We were a group of young professionals making our way in the television world. For many of us it was our first “real” job. We were reporters, photographers and producers. Long hours of work turned into nights out drinking beer and endlessly talking about nothing. At my apartment we ordered out junk food, watched bad TV shows, dated, and broke up with each other and all remained friends, we were a family. Back then I never worried about cleaning
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{ HER EDGE } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Now I know why my daughter watches, and says, “Mom you were so lucky to grow up back then.”
the garage or reorganizing the kitchen or separating the recyclables. Not everything needed its own place. We still used pay phones, listened to music on cassettes and always carried cash.
We now have to tell our kids not to bully, have high self-esteem, and be who you want to be, all while condoning their 24/7 use of a cell phone that sadly promotes just the opposite.
when the show finally ended its run. It occurred to me, I never watched the finale. I had already started to turn in to a Monica with a career, new house and a baby.
The 90’s were the good old days when all I had to worry about was me.
Maybe it’s comforting for them to watch a pre-digital world where people actually have to talk to each other to find out what is really going on in their life.
Now I know why my daughter watches, and says, “Mom you were so lucky to grow up back then.”
As the fourth episode cued up and I was now investing a second hour, I found myself laughing out loud at the honesty and corniness of “Friends”. They all loved, irritated, teased and consoled each other. They didn’t express their emotions with a snap, selfie, or emoji. It was face-to-face. It was refreshing. Maybe the secret to “Friends” lies in the nostalgia of the times.
In the “Friends” world there are photo albums filled with blurry unflattering pictures, messages are left on answering machines, and notes written on paper. Conversations about daily drama concerning boyfriends, girlfriends, and taking ‘a break’ are discussed at length with your closest friends over coffee, not Face Time.
I guess I did. And if you must know, I’m mid-way through season six.
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CONTACT ROBIN DE WIND TODAY! I ROBINDEWIND@GMAIL.COM
{ KARMA SPEAKS }
I AM BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD I PHOTOS BY PAUL VAN HOY II
Food and wine, seems simple, elegant, fun. Drinks and snacks, paired together when the sun reflects orange hues through the thicket of fresh green leaves, bouncing off waves of the water where friends meet. To socialize, laugh and leave memories of summer in the smiling eyes of the perfect image caught, memorialized for years to come on the shelf that holds all our best days gone by. One cannot think of summer as an adult, without pairing such things together. Yet, what seems light and fun and easy, can sometimes be one of the darkest internal battles fought. I’m by no means anti alcohol or against pairing food with drink, I know people who drink responsibly. But alas, I am also friends with the demon lurking beyond this talent of responsible drinking, and so I had to set it free. I live a life of sobriety, in a world centered around good spirits, fine wines and ciders. Summer brings about all the old dormant habits, waiting to pounce.
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to become sober came at me like an angry man who is defending his honor in the ring. It was painful, and humiliating, yet it has brought me to this place today. I was forced to be stripped of my ego, my pride and my title of functioning alcoholic. Because let’s face it, where I ended up isn’t functioning at all. I could have lost everything, I could have given up the fight. I lived for so long using alcohol as my bandaid to cover up feelings and memories I didn’t deem necessary. I was angry, and I was hurt
Those of a functioning alcoholic where these backyard barbecues, throwing bags of beans into holes and sipping on a dew dripped frosty bottle of brew seem so innocent, yet to some stirs feelings unknown to the onlooker. I choose sobriety, and am able to live this lifestyle with confidence and pride. But it wasn’t always so.
and my friend alcohol whispered sweet nothings in my ear any chance it could. I used alcohol to numb out feelings, to soak up the sadness, and I existed as a normal adult to the unsuspecting eye. But one can only dance with the devil for so long, before all hell erupts. I flirted with the law, and teetered on the brink of crazy.
A good friend recently asked me if I was ashamed of who I am. Because the decision
I let people down in my life, and lost my only means of finance. I was shut out of
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life as I know it for months and was told a brutal truth by my oldest child. To sit and stare at the failure you are becoming within your child’s eyes, does something to the soul. To hear him utter words of how you yourself have disappointed him, and how your words mean nothing is another dark dank place a mother never wants to go. But I did. And I listened and heard every word as it sliced through my ears and inflicted even more pain than the child I had once been, who found the evil spirits to drink away the pain. There was no drink for this. There would never be again. I needed to feel the pain, embrace it. It was that moment I knew I would prove I’m worth my words.that I am the mother I portrayed, only not hiding onto the bound bones of a skeleton in my closet. Sobriety, isn’t just not drinking. It’s choosing a lifestyle that isn’t centered around the drink, much like moths around the eclectic bug light. It’s easy not to drink, I did it plenty of times. All three times I was with child, and numerous other times to prove to myself I wasn’t relying on alcohol. All times secretly waiting for the magical date too, when I can throw up in arms with drink in hand and hail to a cheers of one thing or another. The waiting game, still holding hands with my least favorite friend. That’s not sobriety, this is. Four years and eight months. Each and every
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{{ SHIFT+CONTROL KARMA SPEAKS }} “ Summer brings about all the old dormant habits, waiting to pounce.”
day is a choice. And to answer my friends question, I told her I am not ashamed of who I am. I am not defined by my past. I have chosen to recreate myself. Sometimes I feel ashamed of the person who I used to be, but then smile and know that I have proven to those that matter most. And when I talk to strangers who judge, eventually my worth outshines my past. I speak the truths of who I am In hopes to reach upon ears in need of hearing. I politely decline the backyard barbeque beer, and the house wine while out to dinner. Yet am reminded that this is quite peculiar to some. The question is never too far behind, as to why I choose not to join in the spirits.And the looks from those who do not know me, and apologize when I explain I do not drink, with a smile. I never quite know why they are sorry, or look at me that way they do. I don’t need an apology, in fact the best fix to this, is never question someone as to why they choose not to drink. I recently took my food truck to a brewery to serve the dinner hours, and the nice bartender came three times to offer me a drink. I declined politely each time and expressed I have water. They don’t serve any non alcoholic drinks there anyway. When he came to look at my menu, he asked me immediately what do I have for vegetarians? I expressed we didn’t have much, just fries or mac salad, as our salad bar wasn’t prepped for dinner. He was disappointed, and let 350
me know how I should have more choices for vegetarians. I listened and smiled and didn’t tell him what I should have said. I wanted to let him know if that were the case then his establishment should cater to my thirst needs as well. But I didn’t. I have since added a vegetarian sandwich though to my menu. Food and drinks, the ageless pair. The norm of living as an adult. I used this old fable to mask the untold truths of my past for
fact that we carry these guys with us like kids headed off to kindergarten carrying a backpack stuffed with all the supplies and needed tools for the year. The bag bigger than the child, heavy weighing us down, Yet we find a way to carry it, and find where each thing we packed in the backpack belongs. Placing it within reach for when we need it. Unpacking the load, so we can maneuver through life. It is here where i find the strenght, here inside of myslef. Not a higher power, there wasnt anyone who fixed me. I found that if I embrace who I am, and not fall victim to circumstances of my life, yet gain a voice and speak about who I am, who I want to be I have an impact. I have no shame i telling someone why I am sober, if they truly want to listen. I have done thismany times to people I know, and I have seen the impact of my words. I have talked friends through the transition who decided to join the army of soberiety.
so long. To pretend I too was responsible enough to flirt with disaster, and never be harmed. To blend in with drink in hand as it washes all the anxiety and awkwardness down with every sip. Now I stand alone, in all the glory and pressure of the issues I face in clarity. Anxiety, depression, fear, all these and then some are in my back pocket.
I have watched a stranger go from disgust to the look of admiraation halfway through my story. My children think I am a super hero, who can change the world. Well as least my world. I said once if i can reach one person, just one then I have made a difference.If i can do that, then how can I be ashamed of who I am?
They travel with me wherever I go, only I don’t drink them away, I embrace them. I find others who like me, need to share the
I Am stronger than this…
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{ HEALTHY WOMAN }
JOURNEY MASSAGE & SPA BY JOANNE MAXWELL I PHOTOS BY MICHAEL CRISAFULLI
Joanne Maxwell hardly missed a step transitioning from leading a flourishing corporate travel business in Manhattan to Western New York. It was all part of the plan. The change from managing countless itineraries and navigating the big city to handling the needs of three young daughters was flawlessly executed. After the youngest started school, however, she remembered her interest in bodywork that began after receiving a massage on a beach in the French Riviera. So it was off to the Onondaga School of Therapeutic Massage to enroll in a part-time program which offered a schedule compatible with the needs of her young family. The program was funded in part by the job training agency, Rochester Works. The value of that small grant has been paid back to the community many times over based not only on the people served during her nearly two decades of work, but with the numerous opportunities she has created for other professionals. After graduation, Joanne started work with Rochester Physical Therapy Services of Rochester and with a few local spas., but soon the opportunity came to establish Journey Massage and Spa Services. Her dream of making a difference in the health and wellness of Journey’s clients has come in many forms. For some clients, their interest falls within the broad motivation to relax, reduce stress and treat a few minor ailments or prepare for/recover from sports activities. Some such as couples or spa party groups seek to celebrate special occasions, friendships or relax together. Others seeking service are faced with life crises and Joanne has helped many clients recovering from accidents, facing cancer, or suffering from 352
conditions ranging from Alzheimer’s disease to neuromuscular maladies such as ALS and para/quadriplegia. Journey Massage offers a full range of massage services including including Swedish, Treatment, Sports, Oncology, Pediatric, Geriatric and Couples Massages as well as, Cupping, Integrated Energy Therapy, REIKI and wonderful Facial treatments with her European Esthetician. Journey Massage is comprised of a great group of independent therapists who enjoy working there because of the same flexible hours and
top of the industry pay that motivated Joanne in the first place. The owner and the staff have taken countless hours of professional, continuing education sports stretching, cupping in varied subjects as myofascial and cranial-sacral treatments, lymphatic drainage and oncology massage for cancer patients. Continuing professional development is something Journey Massage supports because it eventually focuses on the most important part of the business: offering clients a superior service and experience. The same applies to the highly personalized, boutique
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quality of Journey Massage’s space. Each treatment room has a private bathroom with one offering a shower. The location nested canal-side in the woods of Bushnell’s Basin just seconds from 490 provides something of more enduring value than the big chain outlets and the crowded parking lots of the mall or plaza. The key to understanding Joanne Maxwell is to realize that she is a caring person who takes a genuine interest in the needs of others. Always. At the same time, she possesses the same entrepreneurial spirit that she initially brought to Rochester years ago. Her latest endeavor is starting a new business, Natural ReLeaf from Colorado, which offers a full line of THC-Free CBD products including salves, tinctures for people and pets and gel caps. The motivation for the start-up was witnessing the benefits first-hand with many of the Journey clients. Concerned with recent social and cultural conflicts, she designed, produced under fair-trade agreement and is ppromoting a bracelet called the EmbRACElet. Comprised of multi-colored strands, this tied bracelet signifies the powerful singularity that can be achieved through diversity. Portions of each sale support the local Boys and Girls Club can be found at One World Goods in Pittsford Plaza. Joanne Maxwell has sought to make her mark on the world through kindness, service to others and steadfast sticking to her highest ambitions and principles. There a very few go-getters like her in this world. She has set the world on fire by creating businesses such as Journey Massage and Natural ReLeaf. that work toward the common good and the benefit of their clients. Lucky us this all happened in Western New York.
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{ ELITEMIND PRO }
YOU-OLOGY BY SRADDHA PRATIVADI
“YOU-ology – The Crucial Science of Knowing Your Self ” Do you want something more out of life, but aren’t sure what it is? Have you tried to make changes in the past without success? Do you have a specific goal but are not sure how to achieve it? Do you feel stuck, encountering the same crappy results over and over again? This is all because of stinking thinking. What are you thinking? No really … what are you thinking? Interestingly enough, most people don’t think. What does this cause? Lack of confidence in your ability to actively choose your life; Inability to reduce your anxiety and stress by thinking productive thoughts; Not knowing how to turn an idea and goal into reality; Lacking the mental discipline to think about the things you want instead of stressing about what you don’t want. Sound familiar? And none of this is going to change for you if you lack a mentor and a proven system to continually improve your results. This is because this structure 358
and mentors are an accountability system. Accountability is a success insurance policy. You see, mental activity does not constitute thinking. This is an important distinction to make. And most people are never taught
frustrated and frankly – drained. Well, the solution isn’t hard and it isn’t complicated. We have to remember to THINK. And, of course, we have to learn how to think effectively to create the life we want. You see, if you want to improve your health, wealth, happiness and relationships – you’re going to HAVE to tweak your thinking … there’s simply no way around it. As you start to look into what it is you’re thinking and how you’re thinking you will undoubtedly find that your thinking is very much in harmony with your results. Always. Even with your crappy results. And this is great news! As you change your thinking – you can change your results. You’re in charge. No meaningful growth or changes every happens without a mentor and a proven system.
how to think. With information shoved in our faces all day long from the news, media, social media, billboards, friends and family – taking time to think for ourselves is becoming harder and harder. That said, it’s no wonder we find ourselves stressed out, exhausted,
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I know you have probably heard that thoughts become things. And this is true. Everything in your life is directly tied to your thinking – the amount of stress or mental freedom you have – the amount of joy you are experiencing – the amount of money you are earning – the connections and relationships you are studying – your health and wellness.
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“You see, if you want to improve your health, wealth, happiness and relationships – you’re going to HAVE to tweak your thinking … there’s simply no way around it.”
{{ QUEEN ELITEMIND OF ARTS PRO }} “Do you want something more out of life, but aren’t sure what it is? Have you tried to make changes in the past without success? Do you have a specific goal but are not sure how to achieve it?”
The best part? While applying other things can give you temporary change – changing your thinking changes your life and results for good. And the good news is at Elite Mind PRO, we’ve got a proven system. And we can brag about it because the ideas are not ours. It comes from a hundred-year lineage of five hundred of the most successful people in America. This along with a unique combination of a business visionary, attorney and doctor as mentors creates an unusually effective combination of mentors. Seek out this level of mentorship – your dreams deserve it. Imagine actually living the life you want. Living in freedom because you finally understand how to create your life AT WILL, go for your dreams and finally know what it means to be free from anxiety, and fear and live a creative life in well-being. Keep moving forward. Seek out mentorship, accountability and a proven system to help create a framework and ensure your success. Most education is only serving to put more info into the memory and then assessing the regurgitation of that 362
information. This is okay if you are to live your entire life just taking instructions from others. But humans are freedomseeking beings, and we are not meant to live out our lives in this manner. We are meant for more and this growth only happens when we learn how to bring more of us to the surface by understanding how to fully use our minds. I refer to
this subject as “YOU-ology – The science of knowing Your Self and the Art of Growing Rich”. All riches actually lie within you. You can create your own economy. Now these are foreign ideas for most of the population. But upon further exploration and evaluation you will find that indeed, the people who have had the greatest lasting impact on culture and economies were those who tapped into their inner riches and transformed
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the very systems they were born into. They learned how to think in a way that allowed them to create their lives at will, regardless of circumstances. You can do this too. Study yourself. Grow rich by expressing more of who you really are. So get rid of crappy results by removing stinking thinking. Learn how to think into your results – the results that you REALLY want! Dr. Sraddha Prativadi is a certified Proctor Gallagher Institute Business and Personal Development Consultant and founder of EliteMindPRO. com. She has partnered with the illustrious Bob Proctor and successful attorney Sandy Gallagher to bring you the best of transformational processes and services for your health, wealth, relationships and happiness. Join one of her free and value-packed webinars at http://bit.ly/YOU-ologyWebinar and receive her e-book YOU-ology- The Science of Knowing Your Self and the Art of Expressing Your Riches”
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“HEALTHY BOUNDARIES FOR HEALTH AND PROSPERITY - WHAT WE WOMEN MUST IMPLEMENT IN OUR LIVES” DO YOU EVERY FEEL ANY OF THE FOLLOWING? OVERWHELMED: “My commitments are more than my resources and I can’t prioritize my needs” DESPAIR: “No matter how much I try, it is never enough.” FRUSTRATED: “I’m such a perfectionist - it’s exhausting and I’m always a failure.” DISCOURAGED: “I’m always beating myself up over things I woulda, coulda shoulda done.” AFRAID: “It’s so hard for me to ask for what I want or need.” GUILTY: “I can’t say no to others. I feel terrible and it is so much easier to just say yes.” TRAUMATIZED: “My home life was (is) filled with trauma, alcohol, drugs, abuse and other addictions.” If you said “yes”, then sign up for updates from WomanUpBooks.com to get this FREE training and other resources to support your path to prosperity and health, while being the first in the know about the upcoming release of The New Vagina D.I.E.T.
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{ MIND, BODY, SPIRIT }
CREATING ABUNDANCE LOVE, MONEY & HEALTH BY ALANA CAHOON
What if I told you you could have everything you want. The fancy car, the lake house, the 3-week vacation at a five star resort. The man or woman of your dreams, your soulmate. The perfect body, satisfying job, and bank account that is always in the black. You might look at me and laugh. Read on and you might think differently.
3. Cut them out and paste them on your board 4. Now look for words and symbols to accent your wishes 5. Place these on your board, as well
We create our realities. Repeat after me, “We create our realities.”
6. Finally add artistic touches like borders, flowers or stars
Now think about it. When you woke up this morning, what were you thinking about? How good your first cup of coffee was going to taste? Or that you forgot to take the garbage out in time for it to be picked up?
7. Now place it where you can see it on a daily basis
Was it a positive thought or a negative one? It matters. A lot. What we think usually comes true. And if that statement has any merit, then you had best start paying attention to your thoughts! And make them good ones! Here’s how.
SEE IT Many of you have heard of Vision Boards. It’s a creative way of bringing together all of your heart’s desires in one place. Specifically on a board which can be a piece of paper or poster-board large or small. You can create yours by hand or on the computer. Here’s how to do it.
VISION BOARD EXERCISE 1. Make a list of all the things you wish to have happen in your life 366
2. Then look through magazines or online images that represent these wishes
Not only do you want to ‘see it’ but you want to ‘believe it’. When you look at your vision board, say what you want in a positive statement. The following exercises will guide you.
BELIEVE IT REVERSING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS It’s one thing to say something. It’s another thing to believe it. And you must have both. See it and believe it. How does one start reversing the negative chatter in ones mind? Mindfulness of course! Here’s how.
MINDFULNESS Mindfulness is the practice of bringing awareness to your thoughts. Repeat after me,” Mindfulness is the practice of bringing awareness to your thoughts.” When you start paying attention to your thoughts, you are able to catch yourself before you spin out-of-control. And that’s true in any area of your life.
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Let’s take being on time as an example. You’re running late, as usual. And you’re really trying to make an effort to be on time. It’s just not working. Here’s how mindfulness works in this situation. Mindless: “Darn it! I’m late again. What is wrong with me?! Maybe if I step the pedal to the metal I’ll make it.” But instead of getting there on time, you get pulled over and are given a speeding ticket, which makes you later than you already are. And even more discouraged. Mindful “Sigh. It looks like I’m running behind schedule. That’s okay. I’ll text them and let them know ahead of time.” You pull your car over to the side of the road and text your appointment. They respond letting you know that they, too are running late. It’s a win win. As you begin to apply mindfulness techniques throughout your day, you discover that things aren’t as bad as they may seem. In fact they almost always work out for the best. Positive Affirmations Another way to truly believe in yourself is through positive affirmations. This is making a statement that says something is fact. Ie. “I now have a brand-new convertible.” When we take our statements into more detail, the better it gets. Ie. “I now have a brand-new bright red Buick convertible.” Keep going with it and you’ll have a statement something like this. “I now have a brand-new, bright red, 2 door, Buick convertible with white leather interior that flies on the highway and
Have fun with your affirmation! Be bold! By using more detail you’re better able to find what you’re looking for, and to see it when it’s staring you in the face. So many lost opportunities are due to our lack of Vision, Presence, and Belief. CREATING ABUNDANCE 10-WEEK PROGRAM This is an ideal way of attracting your dreams & turning them into a reality! I created this program specifically for those of you who seem to be stuck. “He just doesn’t get me. I can’t seem to find the right guy.” “I hate my job. I always thought I’d be doing more.” 368
“How do I drop this extra weight. I wish I fit better in my clothes.” The 3-Part Series focuses on Love, Money & Health. The 3 most important aspects of life! When all 3 are humming, life is a breeze. Love Our first 10-week program focuses on love. Without it, what is the point? We’d have no one to share our day with. No inner joy to express. It is what truly brings happiness into your life. While I cannot guarantee you will meet your soulmate or fall back in love with your partner, I can certainly get you closer! Money Who doesn’t want more! We all seem to think that that extra dollar will solve all our problems. It may. It may not. But it will likely bring more comfort and ease. No one
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needs to worry about paying the bills. And being on the right career path is essential to being happy. Health Your health is the greatest wealth you can have. Whether you’re trying to lose that nagging few pounds, have more energy, or recover from an illness or injury, we will work together to getting you closer to your goal. Our program begins this September! I’d love to have you join us. Please give me a call at (585) 953-0503. I’d be happy to talk to you. Alana Cahoon is the creative coach and founder of Grow 2 B U, LLC; leading professionals to bring balance, joy & prosperity to their lives. www. AlanaCahoon.com
Creating Abundance
“Love was hidden all around me”
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PHOENIX RISING YOGA THERAPY
Michael Lee
MA, Dip.Soc.Sci, C-IAYT Founder of Phoenix Rising
300hr Yoga Teacher Training Topics covered in the 300 hour training include: The power of mindful embodied awareness and presence; Accessing the subtle body's innate wisdom with asana, pranayama and meditation; How to guide a theme based yoga class for a specific population; Integrating the Phoenix Rising process into daily life application through yoga experiences; Sequencing classes and workshops from intention based on yoga philosophy, psychology and neuroscience. This 300hr series can be applied toward your 900hr Yoga Therapist Certification (C-IAYT) with Phoenix Rising School of Yoga Therapy.
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{ { VISIONARY SHIFT+CONTROL MINDS } }
MEET THE GINTY’S BY LYNNEA GINTY
12 Days With God is an book / film by and about the life of Devin Sherman . The book was written by Sherman. The film was Produced by John & Lynnea Ginty . Written and Directed by John Ginty of Paragon Found Productions . During the course of a 12 day stay in the hospital, following two major surgeries to remove a large cancerous growth, Devin Sherman had time to speak with God. God showed him during this time how he should live his life from that moment on. Also what was expected of him that would ultimately get him closer to God. The film is now available in Walmar t and getting great reviews and recognition on the film festival circuit . 12 Days With God feature film was the Winner - Best of Western New York Narrative Feature and Best Narrative Feature (between 60 - 90 min). Current Great Lakes Christian Film Festival Nominee - Best Director for a Narrative Feature, Best Writer for a Narrative Feature, Best Actor in a Narrative Feature, Best Supporting 372
Actor in a Narrative Feature, and Best Supporting Actress in a Narrative Feature. Besides producing films the Ginty’s are running an event center. Company bio below: At Rize events we want to rise above
In Venue allows you to bring in whatever you need to have the party you imagine. We provide tables and seating for up to 100 guests. Our small kitchen area equipped with stove, refrigerator and prep table allows for you to bring in and prepare your own food or have a caterer drop off for you. Our Venue offers a separate closed off Kid Zone- visible from the main event floorso that the little ones have a space of their own to hang out and play while the adults enjoy the event they are attending.
your expectations and make your next party or event as seamless and simple to host and plan as possible. Our goal is to help bring your vision for your event to life. Our 2400 square foot Carry-
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So whether you are planning a simple birthday party or a Wedding reception, or anything in between, we believe our space can serve as the foundation for bringing your event to life. Let us Rise to the occasion, for your special occasions! Call or email us today to book your next event. www.rizeevents.com
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DIVAS, RIBS, AND REMINISCING BY CHERYL KATES & KELLY BREUER
One of the best things about summer are the BBQs. Who doesn’t love the smell of the meat on a grill? It’s something magical! The Divas and Big Russ Da Bully headed on out for the day, August 25th to our favorite 50’s themed diner, Reminisce Soda Fountain and paid “Betty Boop” a visit. Brother RJ was also in the building. It was an honor to be part of and judging the first annual Rib Festival at Reminisce. The grillers were Caledonia Officer Todd Estabrooks vs. Reminisce’s BBQ Master Will. That’s not all folks, Keith Saturn of Rockabilly Hop was in the building w i t h f re e d a n c e lessons for the Sock Hop and Rockhouse Riot was jamming on the beat. The lyrics “My girls hot, your girl’s diddlysquat” is embedded in my head forever. Don’t forget the cars, oh my! We were in for a treat when the antique cars started pulling up for the car show. Revving engines everywhere! It was great fun and for charity, benefitting Patrick Place and the Greater Wheatland Chamber of Commerce’s scholarship fund.
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So, you can fully enjoy the experience, Reminisce Soda Fountain is located on Main Street in Caledonia, NY just a hop, skip and a jump outside of Rochester. Every Sunday, May to October at 2 pm the classic cars roll
in. August 25th was no different and it was a full house, from Thunderbirds, GTO’s, dune buggies and a Caddy. The cars were out in full force. It was cool just to walk around and check out the
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times of yesteryear. Reminisce is the home of the “Doomsday Apocalypse” where you can try out your eating skills and see if you can meet the challenge of gobbling up a 5.5lb massive plate of delicious food in the man vs. food challenge. Reminisce prides itself on the foundation o f “e s c a p e t h e ordinary”. Owner Chuck Constantino, brings the patron a high quality, familyoriented dining experience focused on comfort food so your palette won’t be disappointed. The atmosphere is fun and friendly under the concept of reminiscing and taking a trip down memory lane. The rib fest was just that. It was a perfect day. The music, people watching, don’t forget the dancing, was entertaining and spicy. The food was off the chain. Chuck opened Reminisce in 2015. The décor is authentic. You can check out the 1940’s fully operational Dunhill Soda Fountain and the 1950’s Coke machine. No 50’s diner is complete without, you guessed it, the juke box.
{ BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } Reminisce prides itself on the foundation of “escape the ordinary”.
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accessories by emily
{ DISHING WITH THE DIVA’S } “The rib fest was just that. It was a perfect day. The music, people watching, don’t forget the dancing, was entertaining and spicy.”
Diva 2, Kelly Breuer served as one of the judges in the rib fest and she shares saying....oh ya she wasn’t saying much because she was to busy eating all those yummy ribs! Big Russ Da Bully, local signed hip hop artist and battle rapper joined in the fun: “It was interesting to do an event and be part of this charity outside the norm of my world; hip hop. I love music, so the live band was a nice touch. The ribs were hard to choose between because each had a very distinctive taste. It boiled down to whether you were a sweet or spicy BBQ lover. We even heard one of the special ingredients in Will’s recipe was Henny! ( Hennessy Cognac). Sometimes we get so caught up in life we forget to
live. Spending the day with my family, enjoying some music and some great food is always a day I enjoyed. It was for a good cause!” Diva 1, Cheryl L. Kates shares: “Whenever we come out to Reminisce Soda Fountain it is always a great time. Shoot, I’ll ride out for the ice cream alone! This place is a food lover’s fantasy. We’ve come out on many occasions and people that know me know, I’m a picky eater and there are no complaints from me about anything I’ve eaten when we are here. The brisket is grilled to perfection. The macaroni salad is to die for. There are always some great specials. The deserts are always fresh and delicious. There is definitely something for everyone on the
menu. It is always good. The portions are generous so expect to take home some leftovers for later. This day was something to remember. It was a great cause and we had a blast!” There was a Chinese auction, and 50/50 raffle to benefit the charities. The Wheatland Chamber of Commerce scholarship fund gives scholarships to local seniors. Patrick Place is a comfortcare home. It’s a great place, where they offer care for the terminally ill in a home-like setting. They are located on Scottsville Chili Road in Scottsville. Make sure you check this out next year at Reminisce Soda Fountain for the 2nd annual rib festival!!!
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{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY }
HOW DEMENTIA AFFECTS RELATIONSHIPS BY OLGA MONACELL
A F A M I L Y THERAPIST’S VIEW At different stages of their relationship, spouses seek counseling to mend their marriages. Younger couples may turn to therapy when they disagree on how to raise their children or fail to resolve financial conflicts. As couples grow older, they may experience other types of challenges. What happens when one of the spouses develops dementia? According to the Alzheimer’s Association 2019 Alzheimer’s Disease Facts and Figures, 3 percent of Americans age 65 to 74 and 17 percent of people age 75 to 84 live with dementia. As the size and proportion of the U.S. population age 65 and older continues to increase, the number of Americans with dementia will grow as well. I reached out to Carol Podgorski, Ph.D., associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry and honorary board member of the Alzheimer’s Association, Rochester and Finger Lakes Region. Dr. Podgorski is a member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, Gerontological Society of America, and the Alzheimer’s Association International Society to Advance Alzheimer’s Research and Treatment. She also serves on the Medical/Scientific Advisory Committee of the Alzheimer’s Association, Rochester and Finger Lakes Chapter. Q. Dr. Podgorski, you work with couples and families impacted by Alzheimer’s or another dementia at the UR Medicine Memory Care Program. How does dementia affect a marriage? Why should couples impacted by dementia seek counseling? 384
A. Family relationships are important to dementia caregiving but are often ignored. Since 2015, when we established a family therapy service within our Memory Care Program, I have counseled over 600 unique families. When one of the spouses develops dementia, it affects the relationship between spouses, as well as between parents and their adult children. I see not only couples, but also parents with adult children, siblings and, sometimes, grandchildren. Usually, these families are referred to me by social workers or physicians who treat one or
they feel overwhelmed. If the relationship between the caregiver and the patient is not solid, the care plan is on shaky ground. My job is to strengthen family relationships in the face of a devastating diagnosis. I counsel individuals on how to shift focus from coping to problem solving and how to restore balance in relationships. Q. Dr. Podgorski, what are the most common challenges that older couples affected by dementia experience? A. Couples are referred to me at all stages of dementia. In the early stages of the disease, I work with both spouses. In the late stages of dementia, I will see the caregiver alone. We talk about how their life has changed since dementia entered their family. Those are some of the richest conversations we have.
both of the spouses with dementia at the Memory Care Program.
The TV commercial for a common drug frequently prescribed to patients with dementia, implies that all older couples with dementia have loving relationships. That is not always necessarily the reality. A dementia diagnosis affects and often alters the relationship between spouses—for better or for worse.
Although currently there is no treatment to slow the progression of Alzheimer’s, there are drug and non-drug options that may help treat symptoms and improve the quality of life. After physicians come up with a care plan for dementia patients, social workers help families identify resources to implement the care plan. Usually, the main caregiving responsibility falls on a spouse or an adult child. As family caregivers find themselves taking on a new role in the relationship,
First, I assess the spouse who is a caregiver with screening tests for depression, anxiety, caregiver burden, and substance misuse. I also look at whether there are safety concerns such as guns in the house. Then, I ask both spouses to tell me a little bit about themselves and their family. If they say they were married for 54 years, I ask, “How were those 54 years?” The answer to this question tends to tell me everything. The most common response is, “We had our ups and downs, but
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{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY }
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{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY } “I encourage couples to be open and engage others in discussions about dementia. Sharing accurate information is key to dispelling misconceptions about the disease.“
we’ve always gotten through.” Sometimes, they say, “It’s wonderful” and, sometimes, they say, “Not so good.” It never ceases to amaze me how openly people talk about their marital issues. Often, couples complain of emotional distance or communication problems. I hear, “She doesn’t talk to me anymore,” or “He is not there for me.”
care partners report being misunderstood because of the myths and misconceptions others have about the disease. Couples affected by dementia are afraid that once
When I see couples in their 80s who were married in the late 1950s, I observe an interesting generational perspective on the role of women in a marriage. In the 1950s, gender roles in a household were clearly defined. The woman was the homemaker and the man was the breadwinner. However, some women had to enter the workforce and may have liked it. At the time, it may have felt like a betrayal to their husbands. These feelings may have caused tension over the course of their relationship. When one of the spouses develops dementia, there maybe little goodwill left in the relationship to draw upon. Q. Dr. Podgorski, how do couples affected by dementia deal with the stigma and stereotypes associated with Alzheimer’s and other dementias? A. Individuals living with dementia and their 386
people with dementia. Sometimes, there is a disagreement between the spouses about sharing the dementia diagnosis with others. The caregiver may say, “I wish we could tell more people because I feel really lonely” or “I don’t see anybody because I feel I have to keep this secret.” I ask the spouse with dementia, “How does it feel to you to hear your wife say that? Your privacy is very important but will you know when you are ready to tell others?” It is a delicate balance, bringing everybody to the table while realizing that people have different needs as they are going through this disease. Sometimes, couples don’t talk about it. The reaction of friends and family to a dementia diagnosis may prevent them from seeking help. I encourage couples to be open and engage others in discussions about dementia. Sharing accurate information is key to dispelling misconceptions about the disease. To learn more about how to prepare for relationship changes if your spouse develops Alzheimer’s or another dementia, visit alz.org. The Alzheimer’s Association offers care coordination services for individuals and families affected by Alzheimer’s or another dementia. #####
they say it out loud, they may lose their friends and no longer get invited to events. A lot of people don’t understand what dementia is and don’t know how to treat
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{ WORD OF MOUTH }
ORAL APPLIANCE THERAPY BY SAM KHALIL
Sleep apnea oral device and its importance and widespread use and acceptance as an alternative to the cumbersome CPAP Machine This is a great article from the AADSM, American Academy of Dental Sleep Medicine, discussing the making and ease of use of a dental sleep apnea device: ( There is a small video that explains the making process. It’s a button that can be added)
Advantages of Oral Appliance Therapy Oral appliance therapy is an effective, noninvasive treatment that fits easily into your lifestyle. Patients like oral appliance therapy because it is: Comfortable Easy to wear Quiet Portable Convenient for travel Easy to care for
ORAL APPLIANCE THERAPY Oral appliance therapy is an effective treatment option for snoring and obstructive sleep apnea (OSA). A customfit oral sleep appliance can improve your sleep, restore your alertness and revitalize your health. Here is a guide to help you get started with this life-changing treatment.
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Making and Fitting Your Oral Appliance Oral appliances are customized using digital or physical impressions and models of your teeth. These models are sent to a dental lab where the appliance is made. Once your oral appliance is ready, you will return to your dentist’s office for a fitting. Your dentist will adjust the appliance to maximize its comfort and effectiveness. You also will learn how to clean the oral appliance and maintain it. After this fitting, your sleep doctor may schedule you for a sleep study to verify treatment success. FOLLOW-UP VISITS Follow-up visits with your dentist will be needed to ensure the optimal fit of the oral appliance. Effective oral appliances are always custom fit and adjusted over time to ensure maximum effectiveness. Your dentist also will schedule you for an annual assessment. These routine visits are an important part of your long-term treatment success.
ABOUT ORAL APPLIANCE THERAPY Worn only during sleep, an oral appliance fits like a sports mouth guard or an orthodontic retainer. It supports the jaw in a forward position to help maintain an open upper airway. Research shows that oral appliance therapy is an effective treatment option for snoring and obstructive sleep apnea. If you and your doctor decide that oral appliance therapy is the best treatment option for you, then your doctor will write a prescription for you to receive a custommade oral appliance. You also will receive a referral to a qualified dentist who can provide oral appliance therapy. More than 100 oral appliances have received FDA clearance. Your dentist will recommend the oral appliance that is best for you. Oral appliance therapy is covered by many medical insurance plans.
and airway, and possibly a new X-ray of your mouth.
How a Dentist Can Help: The First Visit Dentists work closely with physicians to treat snoring and sleep apnea. At your first visit, your dentist will talk to you about the benefits of treatment. You also will receive information on the potential side effects and the cost of therapy. Then your dentist will conduct a complete clinical evaluation. This will include an examination of your teeth, jaw, tongue
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LIVING WITH ORAL APPLIANCE THERAPY Treating snoring or obstructive sleep apnea with oral appliance therapy can help you feel like a new person. You will find that your symptoms, and your quality of life, can improve dramatically when you remain committed to your treatment and use it nightly. It is likely that you will sleep better, have more energy and feel sharper throughout the day. You may find that your bed partner begins to sleep better, too! Treating sleep apnea promotes a healthier heart, body, and mind. With your dentist’s help, you can improve your sleep and your health!
{ MENTALLY THINKING }
STRESS MANAGEMENT BY BONNIE FLOYD
Undoubtedly, stress is a part of our everyday lives. There are so very many daily demands that compete for our attention. We typically juggle many different types of responsibilities, both at work and at home. On a regular basis, there are bills to pay, laundry to wash, groceries to buy, and gas tanks to fill. At work, we face important deadlines for projects, phone calls to return, and decisions to make. We may face the unique challenges of finding ourselves as members of the sandwich generation: we find ourselves torn between caring for our own children, as well as addressing the demands of aging parents. How we choose to cope with this diverse range of stressors makes a critical difference for our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Excessive stress levels are downright dangerous if they are sustained for prolonged periods of time. Our minds and bodies are well-equipped to deal with acute stressors that occur. They are much less prepared to deal with the negative consequences of high levels of ongoing stress. Sustained stress levels cause our bodies to oversecrete cortisol, a hormone that allows our body to respond effectively to an immediate stressor. In turn, excessive cortisol levels are associated with a diminished immune system response. Whereas we may have minimal control 394
over external stressors, we do retain control of how we choose to respond to such stressors. Placing our specific stressors into perspective makes a huge difference. Very often, the things that we find ourselves feeling very stressed out about won’t necessarily matter in the long run. As one popular book states, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.” Women frequently have the tendency to place their own well-being at the
bottom of their extensive to-do lists. We typically serve as the primary caregivers for our children, whether we are also employed outside the home. Attempting to competently manage such diverse roles is very demanding. After all, we all possess finite resources. None of us has an unlimited amount of physical energy, time, or financial resources.
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Very often, women neglect adequate self-care when juggling their home and work responsibilities. However, you can’t pour from an empty vessel. It’s essential to take the best possible care of ourselves, so that we’re able to competently fulfill the multiple roles that we face as women. Women sometimes struggle with feeling guilty for taking adequate care of themselves. They may erroneously conclude that doing so is selfish. Practicing good self-care is essential, as opposed to optional. If we have children, engaging in good self-care is also a very important form of role modeling, both for our daughters and sons. An essential component of adequate self-care is stress management. To prevent the development of more serious consequences, each of us needs to learn how to better manage our overall stress level. How we specifically manage our stress levels is different for each woman. What works for your friend, neighbor, or co-worker may not necessarily be effective for you. Some women relax by choosing to exercise, engaging in meditation, or practicing guided imagery. There are several different strategies for achieving more effective stress management. One of the most important rests upon being fully
{ MENTALLY THINKING } “Whereas we may have minimal control over external stressors, we do retain control of how we choose to respond to such stressors. Placing our specific stressors into perspective makes a huge difference. ”
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{ {RWO’S MENTALLY MENTAL THINKING HEALTH} } “How we choose to cope with this diverse range of stressors makes a critical difference for our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Excessive stress levels are downright dangerous if they are sustained for prolonged periods of time.”
honest with ourselves about just how much we can achieve in any given day. When we take on more than we can comfortable manage, our stress levels invariably rise. It’s not possible to simultaneously be the perfect partner, mother, caregiver, employee, neighbor, volunteer, and friend. Another effective method for improved stress management involves learning to feel comfortable with asking for help, whenever necessary. Our society remains heavily oriented towards the importance of individualism, as opposed to connectivity with others. Consequently, many of us struggle with asking someone else for help with 396
completion of a task. We may view doing so as a reflection of some degree of inadequacy on our parts. However, we are all interdependent upon one another to some degree. Enlisting others’ help may serve to powerfully lessen our overall stress level. Those women with perfectionistic tendencies are particularly susceptible to experiencing the negative consequences of high stress levels. This is true whether they find themselves facing demands at home, or at work. Perfectionism depletes our finite resources, since attempting to complete a task perfectly exhausts both our minds and our bodies; in turn, this creates an even
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high stress level. Consequently, women with such tendencies find themselves in a downward spiral. A final method of effective stress management concerns our ability to say no to excessive external demands. We may fear disappointing others by turning down their request for assistance. Nevertheless, effective stress management demands that we fully appreciate the delicate balance between our demands, and our capabilities of meeting those demands. After all, just how effective can we possibly be if we find ourselves over-extended?
{ ROC THERAPEUTIC }
MASSAGE FOR STRESS IN THE OCCUPATIONAL SETTING BY LAURA AIKENS, RN-BC, LMT
Stress, as defined by the National Institute of Mental Health is, “the brain’s response to any demand.” Any kind of change, positive or negative demands that our brain and bodies adapt in some way. Work is one of the leading sources of negative stress or ‘distress’ in the lives of most adults. Over time this chronic stress can lead to devastating mental and physical health problems. What can we do about it? Massage therapy has shown some promise in improving measures of stress, and could play a role in improving the wellbeing, and performance of employees who are under pressure in the workplace. Work stress arises from a number of sources. Workers report that low levels of autonomy combined with a demanding role and an unsupportive social environment at their job are stressful. Likewise, high effort and low reward careers are associated with elevated feelings of distress. This is especially true when an individual relies heavily on work to be a source of satisfaction and has less of a well-developed work/life balance: a problem which is very common in our fast-paced productivity-driven society. Employers may be aware of the negative impact that this has on the health of their employees but dismiss it as a personal issue and not one that should concern the company. Stress at work can, however, impact job satisfaction and (perhaps more importantly to employers) work performance. Studies show that as levels of job stress increase, job performance and satisfaction are consistently significantly negatively affected. Something most of us have experienced at 398
some point in our lives is how work can negatively impact our mental health, as well as our social lives. Individuals who felt that they were unable to achieve a work-life balance reported around a 20% rate of a diagnosable anxiety or mood disorder in the previous month. Workers also link emotional states such as being forgetful, worrying, and becoming unreasonably angry to work stress. Psychological distress
that manifests in physical symptoms is often known as psychosomatic illness. Among the psychosomatic symptoms that have been linked to work stressors are, “acidity, anemia, backache, and stiffness in the neck and shoulders.” Decreasing the intensity of work stress or introducing a modality to promote health could potentially lead to an improvement in mental health and at times could improve physical health as a result. Our work stress can even impact our physical health more directly. Work stress specifically has been tied to a significant increase in heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity, and
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elevated blood sugar. When a specific set of these are taken together, these become known as metabolic syndrome. According to the National Heart Lung and Blood institute, metabolic syndrome is set to overtake smoking as the leading cause of heart disease. These chronically elevated risks predispose people who are more stressed at work with an increased risk of chronic illness, or even an increased risk of death compared to those who are less stressed. On the plus side, these signs of ill-health are mostly modifiable, and can be improved on via health promoting interventions. Massage therapy is an intervention has the potential to improve mental and physical health among the working population. One study, examining the impact of receiving up to 4 massage sessions over the course of 4 weeks, found that those receiving massage treatments experienced a statistically significant improvement in pain intensity, as well as other positive changes reflecting improvements in life-satisfaction during the course of the treatment. In a study of bedside nurses (a profession that many regard as very stressful), a brief 10 minute chair massage was enough to reduce self-reported levels of stress. Is this improvement ‘all in their heads,’ or is there a more tangible change at work here? A study of massage effects on several physical measures found that levels of the stress-hormone cortisol (a hormone related to chronic stress) decreased immediately following massage. How many of us have experienced a racing heart beat due to unexpected challenges at work?
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
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{ ROC THERAPEUTIC } “Stress, as defined by the National Institute of Mental Health is, “the brain’s response to any demand.”
Massage has also been demonstrated to decrease heart rate immediately following a massage. If this seems too abstract for employers to appreciate, there is evidence to suggest that after a massage, employees rate their job satisfaction more favorably as well. Massage can provide both objective and subjective measures of improvement in stress-related indicators in the workplace for workers and companies alike. A significant concern for both employees and employers is work-related- stress. Massage shows promise in reducing stress in general and specifically in the workplace. Even brief chair massage sessions appear to 400
be effective at reducing on-the-job stress levels, which makes this an intervention that could be reasonably implemented in a busy workplace. With effects being shown in as little time as 10 minutes, why not bring massage to your own workplace and see how it can benefit you? References Back, C., Tam, H., Lee, E., & Haraldsson, B. (2009). The Effects of Employer‐Provided Massage Therapy on Job Satisfaction, Workplace Stress, and Pain and Discomfort. Holistic Nursing Practice, 23(1), 19-31. Backé, E. M., Seidler, A., Latza, U., Rossnagel, K., & Schumann, B. (2012). The role of psychosocial stress at work for the development of cardiovascular diseases: a systematic review. International archives of occupational and environmental health, 85(1), 67-79.
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Bashir, U., & Ismail Ramay, M. (2010). Impact of stress on employees job performance: A study onbanking sector of Pakistan. Bashir, U., & Ramay, MI (2010). Impact Of Stress On Employees Job Performance A Study On Banking Sector Of Pakistan. International Journal of Marketing Studies, 2(1), 122-126. Brennan, M. K., & DeBate, R. D. (2006). The effect of chair massage on stress perception of hospital bedside nurses. Journal of Bodywork and Movement Therapies, 10(4), 335-342. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2015). Leading Causes of Death., Retrieved from http:// www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/leading-causes-of-death.htm Chandola, T., Brunner, E., & Marmot, M. (2006). Chronic stress at work and the metabolic syndrome: prospective study. Bmj, 332(7540), 521-525. Chandola T, Britton A, Brunner E, Hemingway H, Malik M, Kumari M, Badrick E, Kivimäki M, Marmot M (2008) Work stress and coronary heart disease: what are the mechanisms? Eur Heart J 29:640–648
{ YOU MATTER }
THE POWER OF ONE BY JUDI SWANSON
The violent tragedies happening in the USA have shaken me. Mass shootings, daily reports of gun violence and deaths is upsetting and heartbreaking. The Giffords Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence reports 36,000 people die every year in the USA because of gun violence. I try to process the ongoing tragedies that have been impacting so many people on such a deeply disturbing level. I am one of those people who truly believe that wonderful things can occur from the darkest of moments. I am not there yet. I am working on that part. As I ponder and reflect, I go back to what can I do as a person. Yes there is the power of my vote in elections. Yes there is the power of my day to day actions. I do have some power, some control. I have the power of one. I have the power of me. Schmoop defines the power of one as being “based on the courage to remain separate, to think through to the truth, and not to be beguiled by convention or the plausible arguments of those who expect to maintain power”. Merriam-Webster defines the word power as “the ability to act or produce an effect”. If Merriam-Webster has a definition for the power of one seems to me that makes it the real deal. One person can be the change. Super hero and heroine movies are my favorites! I love them, can’t get enough of them, and tend to watch the same movie over and over (this part my family does not enjoy). You know what the true power 402
of a superhero and superheroine? It is not strength, flying, being invisible and using spider webs, even though those are really cool things. It is that they do NOT give up. When the going to gets tough they pause, reflect, problem solve and get back in the fight. They do not give up. Don’t. They keep fighting for good, right, love, and decency. They use their power of one to fight the fight for good. When times get really tough they join forces. Working together with their unique powers makes everyone stronger. Teamwork can make
like and perhaps not like the person either. We keep in the fight for good and right. As I look around, I am not the only one who feels this way. There are many people using the power of one to be a force of love and light in this world. They act in kind, giving, caring ways not for fame or fortune. They do this because this is who they want to be. Here are some examples: • Rodney Smith Jr. has traveled throughout the United States mowing lawns for free for people in need. • Greg Zanis has built and brought crosses since 1996, when his father-in-law was murdered, has built 26,680 crosses to the families of shootings, tornados, and wildfires. • James Harrison of Australia donated his blood and save 2.4 million babies. • Multiple employees fo Recology San Fransisco searched through tons of recycling to find a man’s life savings in
the dreamwork.
a shoe box.
With so much darkness, despair, and sadness it is totally understandable that people get depressed, isolate themselves, give up and give in. I am REFUSING to do that. I believe I will be the change I wish to see in the world. My worldly view includes lots of kindness, compassion, empathy, support. Yes there is structure and rules as they are needed. We help each other out. We pull each other up. We give chances and give people the opportunity to change. We hear out people whose views we may not
• Kazi Mannan the owner of Sakina Halal Grill, DC feeds for free every person who is homeless who enters his restaurant. He has feed over 80,000 people.
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• Chris Van Dorn founded Batman4Paws and delivers shelter pets to their new forever homes. • The Perfect Granola a local Rochester, NY business founded by Michele Liddle is a food company that gives away food and
“Merriam-Webster defines the word power as “the ability to act or produce an effect.”
{ YOU MATTER } “As I look around, I am not the only one who feels this way. There are many people using the power of one to be a force of love and light in this world.”
profits to help those in need and empower the underserved. This list of examples of the power of one, sometimes the power of a lot of ones coming together, goes on and on. You have your super power of one. If you want a kinder, gentler world do good. If you already doing kindness and good deeds for others do a few more. Be nice and kind. Smile at people even when you are grumpy. 404
Stretch yourself to have conversations with people whose beliefs are very different from your belief and values. Perhaps you will learn something, perhaps they will learn something, perhaps good will come from it. There is a most excellent TED talk by Ozlem Cekic titled “Why I have coffee with people who send me hate mail”. Watch it. You are needed! Every one brings a special, original, unique, wonderful, creative, talented, giving personality to this world. You are the only you that ever was and ever will be.
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I know I am upping my super power of one to do more good. To give more, help more, share more, be there more. Want to join me? May your power of one be with you!
2501 Browncroft Blvd I Rochester, N www.rochesterfitnes
New York 14625 I (585) 218-4110 ssequipment.com
{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE }
A JOURNEY WITH QUE BY GIOVANNA WALTON
For this column, I am veering away from my usual opinionated and truthful writing to bring you a NEW experience to fitness!!!! What are you talking about? We’ve heard MORE than enough about diets, exercise and other fads! I get it! I’m sure those are things going through your mind. Those are valid thoughts! Bear with me for a moment, please, while I introduce you to something that’s nothing like what you think!!! How many of you are tired of going to the gym, working out and sometimes getting results or having a one-sizefits-all routine? How many hate the gym scene because you have to wait to use the machines or because of your own limitations, you aren’t able to do all the exercises? THAT is a major one too because people who have limitations like Arthritis, Lupus, Sickle Cell, or they were in some type of accident whether auto, motorcycle, on a job...whatever, or ANY KIND OF PHYSICALITY/ CONDITION that limits what a person can do has a hard time keeping fit which benefits them in the long run. When you’re in pain, it’s hard to motivate yourself to exercise. QUE FITNESS is the place for you!!!! George Barnes is a friend of mine and owner of QUE FITNESS in East Rochester. I made an appointment with George to see WHAT he had to offer and HOW his place was different and unique than any other. When I arrived at QUE FITNESS, I was greeted by George and his business partner and friend, Denise. Already I felt comfortable and welcomed. We talked 408
for a few minutes so he could figure out what the best plan was for me. Then he showed me where the fitness room was. He also showed me what the different exercise equipment did. Then, we started out with a warmup! I LOVED it! He encouraged me and pushed me. I didn’t feel pressured or uncomfortable at all! I WANTED to do the exercises AND he made it fun! Don’t stop reading yet, there’s more to QUE FITNESS!
I’ll give you a background of how this all came to be. George grew up in Erie, Pennsylvania. Both parents worked and retired from GE teaching him the foundations of a working class family. He signed up for the Air Force based on the movie TOP GUN. One of his favorite movies. So how did George Barnes get to a point where he knew that he had to do something different? When I asked George this question he said, ‘ My real story for doing what I do is because I’ve been battling a lifelong affliction of Sickle Cell disease. Most
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people assume it’s an African American disorder but the truth of the matter is, its a Mediterranean disorder.’ His journey started when he was around 5-6 years old and became aware of his disorder and its detriments and how painful it is, at the age of 8. At that time, he was in the hospital battling a high fever, packed in ice. He was having a crisis attack. The fever was going up. He said, ‘ I remember my doctor pulling my mother outside of my hospital room. The doctor asked if she was ok. He told her that her son is very sick and that they don’t know much about the disorder but that there’s an oxygen deficiency in his red blood cells. It could be deadly, even fatal and if he lives to be 12, consider yourself lucky, he’s lived a great life.’ George continued to say, ‘There’s nothing like watching your mother coming into that room frightened and scared not knowing what’s going to happen next with her only son. It was at that point that I made up in my mind that I will not disappoint her and that I will always fight and show her how strong I really am.’ He took it personal, feeling weak and not strong enough for his mom and he didn’t want her to be sad for him anymore. It was at that point that it fostered a strong mindset in him, if you don’t mind it don’t matter. Everything he does at QUE FITNESS, is based on that thought. He got to this point by recognizing people who DON’T have the ABILITY to get into shape on their own.
{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE } “How many of you are tired of going to the gym, working out and sometimes getting results or having a one-size-fits-all routine?
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{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “My real story for doing what I do is because I’ve been battling a lifelong affliction of Sickle Cell disease. Most people assume it’s an African American disorder but the truth of the matter is, its a Mediterranean disorder.”
He graduated in May, and in June of 2012, he had another fatal crisis. He lost 90% of his red blood cells. He was doing what he loved, cross fit. He wore himself out doing that, juggling school and raising kids. By the time he got to the hospital, he was completely incapacitated. They had to carry him out of the car. If he waited seconds longer, he would have died. The doctor told him according to the tests that came back, he doesn’t know how he’s still talking. His two weeks in the hospital were the darkest. He didn’t know if he would survive this time. This was another turning point. He prayed to God. He asked God to keep him alive, to survive this episode. His prayer was answered. People who know and have a relationship with God know when they hear His voice. George knew what he had to do. God spoke to him and told him he had to help others to get better and to get healthy. George was now working for Him. There was no more sales, marketing, 410
upper level management and no executive management. By that Saturday, George was there to watch his daughters softball game as he promised. It’s now 2015, he was into fitness again. He was now focused on himself. After he took other jobs in management etc, he lost them. Including the one that brought him up here, Ruby Gordon. It wasn’t on bad terms. He was just good at what he did. He worked at Planet Fitness and became the number one trainer in Rochester, Buffalo and Syracuse. This is where he met his business partner Denise. She was there to get into shape for her daughters wedding. She wasn’t sure it could be possible. With George as her trainer, she was able to get into it! Denise has limitations of her own. She knew if she could do it with George’s help, others could too! After some time, George lost his job at Planet Fitness. He and Diane went to
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different gyms to train but the other gyms wouldn’t allow for that. They got kicked out of the gyms they went to. They got tired of it and decided to go out on their own. They would start up their own gym. At this time, their friendship grew and they discovered that there was more that they wanted to do. They discovered there were more people out there, who were limited and stuck mentally, physically and needing a workout geared individually for them. QUE FITNESS was born! Give them a call! Go down to see what he has to offer! It’s an experience unlike any gym. It’s personal and geared ONLY for you! QUE FITNESS also provides nutritional and mental health support to help those needing and wanting it. All of this will be discussed when you make an appointment with George at QUE FITNESS! ENJOY! please let others know too! Share in your experience!
{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE }
BEAUTY IN THE DETAILS BY LISA WAGNER
Slowing Down to See Life’s Little Jewels Recently, I found myself stressing over the detail on my painting. I wanted to get the shadow of the yellow flower just right without turning it to mud. Yellow is funny like that. Sitting back for a long minute, I asked myself, “How does Mother Nature make that shadow without killing the poor flower?” It occurred to me that it’s just a darker yellow. How had I missed that? It wasn’t the devil’s foolery in the detail. It was me missing that easy little fact because I had never used the art of slowing down to notice the beauty in the sweet shadow. How many times a day or even an hour, for that matter, do we miss those little gems? Probably more than we’d like to admit. While making my art, it’s essential to be a seeker and witness to life’s niceties. They’re what adds color to our lives. I look back now on my days as a mom of small children wondering how many of those beautiful moments I missed because I was making sure the house looked neat or the Cheerios were picked up off the floor? It’s silly when you think about the things you thought were important as you get older and wiser. Had someone that knew this wisdom not shared it with me or was it more likely that I was too busy to heed their words? My kids and house were always neat and clean but what would I give now that they’re grown to have used some of that time to just BE with them? Just “being” is a cultivated skill that takes loads of practice. Too bad it’s never taught in school. There are a million things we are bombarded with due to technology and life’s pressures now. Too often I hear friends and family 416
talk about the guilt they have when they just sit still. Should they be working or calling, texting, cleaning, anything instead of decompressing or recharging? Are they wasting precious time? Nope! You’re cultivating space that’s just for you. It allows you to see the little things you’ve been missing during your bustling life. Breathing room in a painting is crucial to a
good composition. The viewer’s eye needs a sweet little place to rest and relish in. I recently was delighted to find out that I was accepted into the Rochester Memorial Art Gallery’s Finger Lakes Exhibition. No easy feat! On the night of the opening, I watched patrons and fellow artists really stop and take in the little jewels of each piece. The details are what sucked them in and made their mouths repeatedly form the word, “Wow!”
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How amazing to have someone walk up to your piece and take time to notice the little bits?! Their wonderment about the subject matter or how it had been executed is like this huge gold nugget. It’s why I am an artist. Creative works allow for that space to rest and cultivate the ability to notice. Presence is a way to honor our spirits and those of the people we encounter each day. Truly hearing and seeing another human being touches the depth and detail of our souls. It’s the warm fuzzy feeling you get when someone hears your story and has the capacity of empathy so that we feel that spirit of connection. Feeling separate and not seen because others forgot about the detail seems to be a chronic state of being recently. Imagine how different your relationship to people or your vocation would be if you came at it with a state of wonder and curiosity? If you used the phrase, “I get to…” instead of, “I have to…” It sharpens your mind enough that you can quickly call yourself out for not having heard a word your friend, husband or child just said. I’ve done it too many times to count. With practice, I’m getting better at taking a breath to witness whether or not I am fully present while they’re speaking. Did I catch the detail of that story? Do they feel seen and heard by me? Asking them to repeat it so that I get the entire thought and can feel into it shows them that I care about what they’re telling me enough to risk embarrassment. I store those details like a squirrel with a nut. We each feel special when the person across from us remembers our words. It’s a nice little gift. During my jaunts with my intuitive painting, the beginning phases are about movement and color. What feels/looks good and how
{ TRAVELING WITH ROCHESTER WOMAN }
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{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE } “Without pain, there can be no personal growth or peace. Without failure, there can be no true relishing in our successes.”
would l like to apply it? Once I get the base color on the sub straight, that’s where large detail starts to take form. One day, circles are my jam. Others, it’s mountains and cloud shapes or vertical and horizontal lines. Then comes decision time. What detail stays and which goes? Who is essential to the feel of the piece? It’s like trying to pick out a puppy or kitten from the cutest litter on the planet. You always have a favorite. There’s just something in the detail that let’s you navigate the next layers and shapes, adding and eliminating as you move along. What is truly impactful and purposeful gets to stay in its new permanent home.
clear. When I release the need to know, to be perfect, to be right or achieve a desired result the stress and strain subside. I see then what I was causing for myself and ultimately, others through that rigid ripple; the need to be right or knowing the answer
The details for those paintings that come in the final layers are all about what jewels in my life have had an influence on my heart and mind. What is meaningful today that needs to be seen and heard? Each shape has its own signature that evokes emotions from our memories that the subconscious was hoping you’d put on that canvas to investigate and interpret. Today, it may say one thing to your head and tomorrow your heart leads the way instead. What is it trying to tell us that we need to hear? It’s usually the thing that follows you like your own shadow quietly nudging you to acknowledge its lesson it’s trying to impart. Slowly but surely, I am learning that when I force the answer to come to me, the detail shuts down. In a large watercolor I recently painted, I couldn’t figure out how to draw beams in the ceiling to make them appear 3D. When I finally let go of “needing to know,” it suddenly hit me upside the head. In the letting go, the detail had space to yack away loud and 418
can then give way to happiness. It’s okay not to know everything, including who we are. The spirit of releasing and trusting that something larger than our human brain or being has us covered lets us breath again. It’s like the best nap or night’s sleep you’ve
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ever experienced. We just have to be willing to flow with what lies directly in front of us without looking behind us or too far ahead. What a beautiful exercise of trust. Trust the details will unfold for you in their own beautiful way. The answers lie there waiting for you to allow their manifestation. Although we each struggle to gain sense of our existence or even the present task we’ve been charged with, it’s what we’re here to learn. Life is a large canvas begging for color from our failures and what we garner from them so that we finally paint our focal point of meaning. There’s an ebb and flow to that focus just like a raging river opening into a quiet, tranquil space where the water gently laps over us. How we choose to weather the rough patches will determine how often we get to experience contentment and notice the pretty pieces. We understand what matters because we weathered the storm or life’s challenges. Having no expectations about how life will be for us while just allowing reduces suffering and increases our resilience. Without pain, there can be no personal growth or peace. Without failure, there can be no true relishing in our successes. Without a willingness to muddle through the pain, we can’t experience healing. It’s the devil in those details when we choose not to see them. Turning him on his head is a sweet little victory that all of us can share in. Being the change we wish to see in the world was and still is one of the greatest truths that can free us from human suffering. Then, the details are shining like new pennies everywhere you look.
{ HELPING PEOPLE HEAL }
ROCHESTER GENERAL HOSPITAL VOLUNTEERS BY BECKY PICONE
TA K I N G C A R E OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS, TOO! Imagine yourself in a hospital waiting area. It’s 7am. Your loved one has just been taken back for heart surgery, and you are buckling up for six to eight hours of worrying. You are prepared for the wait…you have a good book and it’ll be easy to pass some time by wandering to the cafeteria and the gift shop. The first hour goes by pretty quickly, you’ve read a bit and grabbed coffee. No need to leave the area just yet, you are doing ok, and you have a lot of time ahead of you. Before long you realize that you are checking the time more often, and you are wondering how the surgery is going and if you will get any updates. The seriousness of the situation is becoming a little overwhelming so you decide to go to the gift shop to distract yourself. You aren’t sure where to go, and the person at the desk is helping another visitor, so you figure you can find the shop on your own. After wandering around a while, you finally find the shop and have a look around. Between browsing around the displays and visiting with the volunteers, you lose track of time and are suddenly afraid someone might have been trying to contact you, so you hurry back to the waiting area. It’s not until you get back that you realize that you didn’t get 420
something to eat, but so much time has gone by you don’t want to leave again in case someone comes looking for you. You are starting to get pretty hungry. You look around the waiting area and even though there are many other people there, you feel very alone. Time is moving very slowly. Should you have heard something by now? Is something wrong? The doctor may have something to report at any time now, so you really don’t want to leave to grab food…. Now imagine that you are a volunteer in that same waiting area, supporting the
friends and family members of patients in surgery. You check them in as they arrive, and assure them that you will let them know if there is any information to share. You point out the snack and beverage area, and you tell them you are available if they need anything else. Your kind, warm presence puts their minds at ease and helps set the tone for the hours ahead. Perhaps they tell you they are going to the gift shop and are
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thankful when you offer to give them directions. When you tell them you will keep an ear out for anything they need to know, they can browse and visit without worry. When they come back, and you sense that they are starting to feel nervous, you bring over a warm blanket and ask how they are. The light, pleasant interaction provides the comfort and distraction that will carry them through until their wait is over. How does it feel to imagine lightening the burden of a family, assuring families that they are in good hands, just like their loved one is in good hands? If you have had the experience of being a family member waiting during a loved one’s surgery, what else might you focus on if you were a volunteer supporting family members during their wait? The volunteer needs at Rochester General Hospital are constantly evolving, as each department within the hospital regularly evaluates how to provide the best patient care and customer service. The two new volunteer assignments that we are recruiting for this Fall, the CTICU Waiting Area Liaison and the Surgical Family Lounge Advocate, were created with just that in mind. Rochester General Hospital strives to not only provide exceptional health care, but to also support the personal, emotional, and communication needs of families and friends of the patients it serves.
{ {SHIFT+CONTROL HELPING PEOPLE }HEAL } “The volunteer needs at Rochester General Hospital are constantly evolving, as each department within the hospital regularly evaluates how to provide the best patient care and customer service.”
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{ HELPING { SHIFT+CONTROL PEOPLE HEAL } } “In today’s world of busy schedules and increased use of technology, spending a volunteer shift providing personal interaction and comfort to others can be an inviting and enriching escape.”
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Surgical Family Lounge Advocates… • Assist with new family check-in • Offer a warm blanket, pillow or other comfort aids to family members • Answer questions, provide updates, and share information about amenities (parking vouchers, food options, hotels in the area, etc.) • Keep track of visitors’ locations and other key information in order to aid communication during their loved one’s surgery • Walk or wheelchair assist family members to the recovery area when the family is able to visit
pass, Patient & Family Handbook, and knows about the beverages and snacks available in the waiting area, etc. • Provide information and updates to family members on patient progress • Escort family into the ICU to the patient’s bed when family is able to visit • Circulate the waiting area, socializing and offering a listening ear and support when needed • Attend to comfort needs of families and visitors by providing directions, explaining where to get something to eat in the hospital, offering a warm blanket or pillow, etc.
is the key to making it work. In today’s world of busy schedules and increased use of technology, spending a volunteer shift providing personal interaction and comfort to others can be an inviting and enriching escape.
CTICU Waiting Area Liaisons…. • Greet family members and visitors • Ensure that the family is given a parking
Filling these important roles with individuals who are looking for a way to make a difference in the lives of others
*Volunteers enjoy free parking, access to the Riedman Wellness Center, and a small food stipend during each shift.
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Consider this our invitation to you to join us in helping people heal and supporting families who wait in support to their loved one. To become a part of the Rochester General Hospital volunteer community, or for more information, please visit RochesterRegional.org/makeadifference, or call the volunteer office at 585-922-4328.
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
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{ PRODUCT SPOTLIGHT }
MEET JEN KENNEDY OF HEMPWORX Jen wears many hats: Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Teacher, Photographer, Entreprenuer, and CDB Advocate are some of her favorites! Jen lives in upstate New York with her husband, two children and two dogs. She enjoys spending time with her family, taking pictures, playing board games and scrapbooking. She recently discovered the wonderful benefits that taking CBD can offer her and her family. She wants to share her story and offer the benefits of CBD to as many people as possible! This product and company has truly changed her life,
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and she is just getting started! Reach out to her for more information about the benefits of CBD oil! Jen said, “ CBD shops are popping up all over the place in my hometown, but, it’s important to purchase quality CBD oil to get the most benefit from it!â€? đ&#x;’šHempworx is grown, and extracted in the United States! đ&#x;’šHempworx has 2-3 ingredients, meaning you get the purest oil! đ&#x;’šHempworx offers 3rd party testing, available on the website
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đ&#x;’šHempworx is CO2 extracted (this is the safest and best method of extraction) đ&#x;’šHempworx is one of the few (and I mean few) companies that have been approved for quality by the Hemp Round Table Kennedy says, “I could go on and on, but, simply put, you can’t beat our products!â€? Please feel free to visit her website to learn more at: www.jenscbdcrew.com
{ PRODUCT SPOTLIGHT }
“I could go on and on, but, simply put, you can’t beat our products!”
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{ MORTGAGE TIPS FOR WOMEN }
YOUNG FIRST TIME BUYERS BY PHYLLIS HABERER
ARE SAVING FOR THEIR DREAM HOMES
One o Millennials and Generation Z have waited longer than previous generations to enter the housing market for their first home. That being said, this hasn’t stopped them from dreaming about the home they will eventually buy. Many young buyers spend hours searching listings on the market that cost more than they can afford. This window shopping has led 45% of millennials to expect the first home they buy to be their dream home. They’re 426
prepared to wait longer, save more for a bigger down payment, and they’re more picky about the listing they want to visit and the features they want in a home. Waiting a longer than older generations did to purchase a home has helped young buyers become more established in their careers prior to making a large purchase. In some areas, high competition in the starter home market forces young buyers to be patient and wait longer. The extra money they save during that waiting period opens their search to bigger, more expensive homes. If this trend continues, older millenials will completely skip the starter home, instead of going directly
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to a premium home instead. If you are one of the many young renters who are planning to buy your first home in the near future, meet with a local real estate professional who can help determine which type of home will best suit your needs. Whatever your circumstances, I am happy to sit down with you, discuss your options, and find the perfect financing program to get you into the home of your dreams! (585) 314-8511 | phyllis@ premiummortgage.com. Connect with me on Facebook @ PhyllisHabererPMC
Autumn Find out why
is a great time to puchase a new home! At the end of the summer, the real estate industry gets a swift breath of life. And with only a couple short months before the snow hits, buyers had better be prepared to act fast. Start by giving me a call. I’m happy to help safely guide you on this journey toward home ownership.
The Local Expert in Home Financing
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{ WOMEN OWNED BIZ }
SUPPORTING & EMPOWERING BY KARIN KLOCK
Imagine if women-owned businesses were connected across the nation or even around the globe. How much power would such a network give those women? And how much easier would it be to support and empower female entrepreneurs? Right now, we are in the midst of an important women’s movement, and part of this shift must include flexing our economic muscles. As conscientious consumers and business owners, we may aspire to make socially responsible purchases, but the challenge of identifying women-owned businesses that match our own ideals and needs can derail even the best of intentions. Yet doing so is important. Finding and supporting womenowned businesses, and especially
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underrepresented women’s businesses, can affect real change not only in the lives of the women who are endeavoring to pursue their passion, but in our lives and the lives of those around us. Admittedly, information overload in the era of the internet and social media is a big contributor to this “discoverability challenge” that entrepreneurs face. However, it is not the only hurdle. Making a product, providing a service, securing financing, hiring employees— everything that goes into running a business takes time, attention, and money. As a result, the time and expense of promotion and marketing can often get sidelined or feel so overwhelming as to discourage women from starting or expanding their business. In response to this need, I have formed
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WomenOwnedBiz.org, a free website directory that brings women-owned businesses together in one easily searchable listing. Right now, we are in the process of launching an outreach campaign—my gift to all the hardworking female entrepreneurs out there. If you are a woman and own a business, please register to join our directory. And if you support womenowned businesses, please share this site with your personal and professional networks. Let’s be a major force for good, starting right here in Rochester. Join: https://womenownedbiz.org/ join-our-movement/#join Interested in becoming a corporate sponsor or donor? Contact me at: info@womenownedbiz. org
A free Women-Owned business directory-join today! https:// womenownedbiz.org/ It’s a great way to connect and support like-minded women businesses. If you are a woman and own a business, please register to join our directory. And if you support women-owned businesses, please share this site with your personal and professional networks. Interested in becoming a corporate sponsor or donor? Join today or email me for more information at info@ womenownedbiz.org
{ GETTING SOCIAL WITH KATIE }
HOW TO ORGANICALLY GAIN INSTAGRAM BY KATIE LAWLER-MELIA
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How do I gain more followers? I get this question multiple times per day. I get why, but my perspective might differ a bit being a social media manager. My response is always this question: Why do you want more followers? I want you to ask yourself the same question. For a large group, it has to do with the common need to be seen, to be approved of, to be liked. While these are common feelings and desires- if that is your reason for wanting more followers, you need to remember that putting yourself out there for all to see will not often garnish those warm and fuzzy feelings you crave. The goal that I feel is more important that you would like more customers/ clients/sales. Does that resonate with you? There is a funny meme floating around the land of social media that says: Being Famous on Instagram is the Same Things as Being Rich in Monopoly. It does nothing for you,aside for a temporary warm & fuzzy feeling.
business. Most will not want to work with a company that lacks integrity. Your goal should be to gain actual customers that will engage with your content.
Many people grow impatient when they start their account, and I get that. I have to level with you, it doesn’t happen overnight. The only way that happens is when you purchase fake followers. This does nothing for your business OR your reputation. It doesn’t take an expert to see if a person has real followers or not. If you boast 5k followers or more and you barely get any engagement that is a red flag that you went this route. That can have a negative effect on how people perceive you & your
the people you want to follow! If you sit there waiting for them to follow you, you’re going to be waiting for a very long time.
8. Use videos, they are a special way to stand out and convey who you are and what you’re about.
2. Provide top notch content. Why would a person want to visit your feed? Do you have beautiful well-lit pictures? Inspiring quotes? Do you post consistently?
9. #hastag often and mix it up- don’t always use the same ones! Hashtags are like a breadcrumb trail that your potential followers find you. If you sell candles, make sure your candle posts contain variations on the word candle.
So, what is an Instagram User to do to grow their page organically? 1. Engage with your dream audience. Search Hashtags that are relevant to your brand. See who is liking these posts. Drop them a comment on their post saying you like their content. Follow them, engage with
4. DO NOT post too much! This is as bad as not posting enough. You don’t want to overwhelm people. 5. Hire a Social Media Manager and ask them to figure out the best times for you to post for your brand/region/client base. 6. Make your bio stand out! Make sure it has a succinct description of what you’re about along with a link to your website etc. When a person is drawn to click through to your profile you have about 10 seconds to convince them to stay. 7. Create an eye pleasing pattern to your feed. This is your look book, make it count! Make it attractive, make it cohesive! Many times I will see a great picture but when I click to the profile it is a mess. It looks like they have several people posting and it looks unorganized and it overwhelms.
3. Be consistent! Stick to a schedule and do not stop, it takes months to gain momentum. You’ve got to go the extra mile.
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10. Hire an influencer. These are people
{ GETTING SOCIAL WITH KATIE } “Being Famous on Instagram is the Same Things as Being Rich in Monopoly. It does nothing for you,aside for a temporary warm & fuzzy feeling.”
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{ TALKING SOCIAL } { GETTING SOCIAL WITH KATIE } “It doesn’t take an expert to see if a person has real followers or not.”
that get paid to promote you. There are a lot of fakes out there, so be sure it is truly an influencer.
poor overall results, remember you want actual customers not a weird scheme to look a certain way.
11. Don’t copy. EVER. Be yourself. Be authentic. What works for one person will not work for everyone.You can get inspiration elsewhere, but if all you do is try to emulate another person that has a huge following, you will be disappointed.
13. Use Instagram stories & Highlights for special behind the scene sneak peeks into your business. Try Instagram TV if you have a lot of video content.
12. Find other accounts to do a collab with. Cross promote each other, do a giveaway together. Create a follow-loop with a group of people and create a big giveaway where one of the rules is that each account must be followed to enter. Beware of followloops, this another quick fix that garners 432
14. Use the location feature on your posts, this is another way to get local customers. 15. Focus on your business and hire an expert. Social Media is a time consuming thing to focus on, if it isn’t your actual job and you can afford to do so- delegate & outsource!
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I hope you found this information helpful! I am offering a very generous special this month to RWO readers- sign up with me for only 100/month! You will receive a bio makeover, posts to both Instagram & Facebook 5x per week, I will create a pleasing page & help you develop the perfect content for your brand which includes graphic design work. Contact me today at 585-200-2793 or meliakatie@ gmail.com for a free consult. You can visit my site at www.dreamcatchersocial.com to read client reviews and check out other services I offer.
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{ COVER STORY }
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{ COVER STORY }
COVER WOMAN TITIANA BOGAR BY CHERYL L. KATES I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN FORD
Titiana Bogar is a familiar face in Rochester Woman Online. We thought our readers should get to know her a little better, like we have had the pleasure of doing over the past year,
and shoots you a curve ball veering to the left! Titiana attended a friend’s party of highlighting the “Passion Through
Like many, you’ve seen her on the runway with RWO, checked out her photos in our pages and even read some of her articles in “Something For the Sister’s”. But, that’s not all Titiana brings to the table.
Many women experience trauma in their upbringing. It can become the vehicle for self-destruction or the road to empowerment. Titiana used her obstacles to “find her rainbow” and share it with others to help them break the chains they find themselves bound by.
She is an inspiration to others, and she has an inspiring story to tell. When she’s not with RWO Titiana is a customer service representative for the New York State at the Department of Health and a small business owner. She is also a representative for “Passion Through Love”. She, like others, found herself with medical reasons to foster her change of career midlife where she had spent twelve years in the medical field and then she had to come up with a back-up plan. Facing a crisis such as this is not an easy task. Even more so if you don’t have time to plan for it. But sometimes life does that
themselves in a position at different times in their life where they lose themselves. The process to learn to become yourself again can be a tedious one.
At age 14, Titiana was raped by someone close to her and then became pregnant. She overcame being physically, mentally, and emotionally abused by a man she loved. Her biggest obstacle was overcoming being in a place of losing herself and then teaching herself how to shine again. She shares this gift of peace and tranquility she has learned to achieve with others.
Love” products and the rest is history. Titiana especially liked the fact this company allowed her to help other women become open about their sexuality. So many women find
Titiana is very close with her family. Her children inspire her to “ keep going”. Her sisters Li-Tonya and Daisha were her first “ true loves” and were the first two people to help keep her focused when she lost everything. They are her best friends and have been there for her through it all. Titiana also credits her grandmother (Nana) Shirley
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“Many women experience trauma in their upbringing. It can become the vehicle for self-destruction or the road to empowerment.�
{{ COVER COVER STORY STORY STORY }} { COVER } “ Women often have a sense of comparison and competition with each other. We often are the ones tearing each other down.”
( may she rest in peace) as being her rock. She helped shape her into the fabulous woman she is today. Shirley, her heart and soul, passed away April 30, 2016.
publisher by that time. Which she is well on her way to achieving. She started writing to help herself
The experience of losing someone who was very important to her, shattered Titiana’s world. Titiana indicates after her passing is when she lost herself. Shirley would listened without judgment or criticism and was the foundation in Titiana’s world. The person who always assured her “Everything will be ok”. Ti t i a n a i s n o t done yet. She has aspirations in the next five years to become a wellknown real estate owner hoping to establish offices in Rochester, NY, Atlanta, Ga., New Brunswick, NJ., and most importantly Durban, South Africa where Titiana’s mother is from. Titiana is also working on her second book and plans to be an honored 442
winning poet! She progressed to penning short stories and finally she published her first book. Writing is a vehicle t o a i d e Ti t i a n a in expressing her feelings. Feeling closed out is not a healthy place to be. Suffering from depression places you at times where you can feel and even think about ending your life. Titiana’s first novel is a tell all fiction book. It is all about learning who she was as a person. This was done through the real struggles she experienced and most of all learning to overcome those hardships.
when suffering from depression. Her roots in writing launched from writing poetry and being an award-
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Despite there being, a multitude of books which were written surrounding these principles, Titiana hopes when reading her book, it assists others who find themselves where she was and gain strength to live again. She envisions her story as something which will help another to share their story.
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COVER STORY { {{SHIFT+CONTROL COVER STORY STORY }} } { COVER } “She envisions her story as one which will help others to share their own stories.”
these principles, Titiana hopes when reading her book, it assists others who find themselves where she was and gain strength to live again. She envisions her story as something which will help another to share their story. Titiana shares her vision with our 444
readers every month in Something For the Sister’s. She uses her column as a place where women can be themselves and prides her space on being focused on the principle of “Let’s talk about it”! Her column, “Ask Titiana” also shares topics affecting women’s everyday lives. Hope you will read her column each
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month and find some great advice, inspiring stories and truly empowering statements of overcoming real life struggles.
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{ IN HER OWN WORDS }
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{ MISS TITIANA }
LIVING IN THE WORLD WITH A STATIC MIND BY TITIANA BOGAR I PHOTOS ON LEFT BY CHARLENE MANN FORD
Living in a world with a static mind, how do you be yourself with a judgement against yourself? We ask this question living in a world full of people who look down upon someone because of many ideas that people may have for one’s life. We are growing in a world where one of the biggest static is living in a world of the LGBTQ community. People have created a world where loving the same sex is wrong and that there is no room for that type of love. Well to those who are disgusted with this type of love let me proudly introduce you to a world where there is a community who is not acknowledge or look down upon. I believe in embracing everyone in respect of who they are and what they acknowledge themselves. I took the time out to talk to one of Rochester’s own great advocates for the LGBTQ community here in Rochester. Tamera Leigh is an advocate here in Rochester and she is well known for the Out-Alliance Group. Rochester native, Tamara Leigh, is the current Director of Operations and Public Relations at the Out Alliance, an agency that champions the rights and lifestyle of the LGBTQ+ community and Editor of their publication, The Empty Closet. Leigh attended Monroe Community College in Rochester, NY as well as Temple University in Philadelphia, PA studying Communications and Journalism. She served as Professional Development Specialist, Public Relations and Event Management Coordinator for the City of Rochester Department of Recreation and Youth Services. Leigh also acts as co-host of radio show, The Situation on WAYO 104.3FM and CEO of Roc Candy Media, an urban Public
Relations, Brand Development and Media Management firm. Tamara co-chairs, Rochester Black Pride and is one of the founding members of the WOC~ART (Woke Art) Collaborative. Tamara acted as PR and Development Team member of the ROC Awards, ROC the Park, and Nathaniel Johnson’s Designer Challenge Competition 2018 & 2019.
and protesting last for seven days. That movement sparked the worldwide fight for LGBTQ rights. We Remember the people who started all this, Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Storme. We rise up as a community over the discrimination. We fight for equity and we ROC- for Rochester 2. The theme is “what is your stone wall all about.” How did that concept come about? The parade theme is “What is your Stonewall?” Stonewall was the moment in history that people stood up and said no more. So, we are asking people what that moment was for them. 3. How did you come about becoming an advocate for the LGBTQ community? I’ve always felt like it was important to advocate for whatever community I’m a part of. For a long time that was urban youth while working for the City and with my intersectionality I was able to work with ROC Black Pride and carry that through to my work at the Alliance.
1. What is this year theme for pride? It’s We Remember: We Rise, We Fight, We ROC It pays tribute to the 50th Anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. Down in NYC the police harassed and beat up people from the LGBTQ community. One night they had enough and fought back. The marching
4. Recently you spoke at the 7th judicial district can you tell Sista to Sista and Rochester women online what the event was all about and your experience 4. I was asked by our historian, Evelyn Bailey to speak on panel. I do that a lot as a part of my job. This one, to my surprise, was at the Court, in an actual courtroom in front of a group of judges. It was honestly very intimidating walking in that room. I spoke from the heart and they seemed to be receptive. I tried to talk to them about what people of color and people of the transgender
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{ MISS TITIANA } “I believe in embracing everyone in respect of who they are and what they acknowledge themselves.”
experience still experience in rooms like that. In my mind that’s probably the most important thing I do. I managed to get a seat of the table, so each and every time I sit down, I have to speak for everyone that I can who hasn’t gotten to the table yet. 5. Being a part of the out alliance what is your biggest fear in this fight. I never realized how scary it would be to stand up and fight this fight. I constantly have to tell myself how important it is and what a blessing it is to have the opportunity to be here. But it’s overwhelming at times. I just trying to push through the fear. I don’t want to let anyone down. 448
6. Right now, what is something you would want to get out to the world about the community. There is a huge amount of racism in the LGBTQ community and a huge amount of homophobia in the black community. People caught in the intersection of those two worlds have a tremendous amount to navigate through. We are losing people because of it. Those are losses that shouldn’t happen and losses that we as a community can’t afford to take. Anytime you catch yourself saying something about the LGBTQ community, replace gay with black and see if you still good about hearing it or saying it. We’ve got to do better.
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****still feel good 7. Tell Rochester women magazine and Sista to Sista about some of the upcoming event for the community and if someone if someone like myself want to assist with the community or support how do we go about it ROC Pride is FULL of events. You can check out www.rocpride.com for all the info. The Out Alliance offers all kinds of programs and services that you can find at www.outalliance.org.