RWO'S October 2021 Edition

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SHE HUSTLES TALKS

HIGHLIGHTING WOMEN ENTREPRENEURS

In This Edition...

- CENTRAL NEW YORK’S FAB 5 - SHE HUSTLES TALKS COVER WOMAN MISS US INTERNATIONAL CORRIN STELLAKIS - WHAT ABOUT THE MEN WITH STEVE KNITTLE - WOMAN ON THE RISE MELISZA CAMPOS - HAPPIER AT HOME’S DEBBIE BERNACKI AND MUCH MUCH MORE!

A True Superwoman JULIE HAHN






COVER STORY 18

A REAL SUPERWOMAN: JULIE HAHN

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edition

{ TABLE OF CONTENTS }

REGULARS

REGULARS

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WOMAN WHO INSPIRES Jennifer Soto

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COACHING WITH KRISITN

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WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? Steve Knittle

300

B.MOR

298

HER EDGE

WOMAN ON THE RISE Melisza Campos

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CNY’S FAB 5 On The One Ecodessa Urban T Who Wants Smoke It Takes A Village

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SERVICES FOR SENIORS

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VOICES FOR IMPACT

238

UNSTOPPABLE WOMAN

268

AGAINST ALL ODDZ

340

130

LADY “O”

216

304

KARMA SPEAKS

222 BUSINESS TALK

TRAVEL WITH AGNESS WINE CELLARS MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE FIT TO REIGN

SPECIAL FEATURES

146 SHE HUSTLES TALKS Corrin Stellakis ANIMAL CARE SANCTUARY CORNER Debbie Bernacki Tiffany Amalfi-Speck The women’s Fitness 120 AFTERNOON COCKTAIL Connection Dark Moon Esscentuals 234 ONE TOUGH MOTHER 254 DIVI9 CHAT ALL ACCESS

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FINANCIALLY SPEAKING

290

HOPING & COPING

126

QUEEN OF ARTS Maya Ben-Meir

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TAMMY’S TIDBITS

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228

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FASHION & BEAUTY 280

DR J’S BEAUTY

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REGULARS (CONT) 330

AS I LIVE AND GRIEVE

386

MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

308

YOU MATTER

322

BLISSFUL BALANCE

268

TAMMY’S TIDBITS

326

MENTALLY THINKING

314

WELLNESS 360

318

LIFE IN BALANCE

310

BLISSFUL IMAGE

332

MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE

228

HEALTH & WELLNESS

272

THE ALTERNATIVE

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Photo by Brody Wheeler


{ FROM THE PUBLISHER }

Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.” — Tina Fey

I

t always feels amazing when I get to launch a new edition of Rochester Woman Online magazine. You would think after doing this for almost 12 years now, that it would get boring, but it doesn’t!

This month, I am truly excited to be able to bring you a real life “superwoman” for our cover story... Julie Hahn. You can read all about her journey personally and professionally and why RWO truly felt she was an incredibly inspiring woman for our cover starting on page [20]. PLUS, a HUGE congratulations to her for winning a seat as a Monrow County Court Judge. In this edition you can also enjoy our latest She Hustles Talks special women entrepreneurs section featuring some amazing lady bosses including cover women whos is definitely Fit To Reign, Corrin Stellakis starting on page [ ]. Plus, you can check out other amazing women including Debbie Bernacki, Tiffany Amalfi-Speck and more!

T T

ON OUR COVER

In the latest edition of Rochester Woman Online we are pleased to bringing you the newly elected Monroe County Court Judge, and a real “superwoman”, Julie Hahn who was photographed by lead photographer Brody Wheeler at her home, and on a few rooftops in Rochester, NY.

Now who is up for joining us for some of our incredible upcoming events? WOW do we have an amazing lineup including Pop Ups in the ROC & CUSE for the holidays and and then on to December 12th where we will be in Syracuse for the Catwalk For Kidneys at the Marriott Downtown Syracuse for the Northeast Kidney Foundation and boy do we have a lineup of amazingness for you with models and designers from all over the country, an intermission from Laura Marino that will leave you speechless, and even some celebrity guests including singer Josh Shapiro! Ask me how to join us and promote your business to our amazing audience, or come and join us as a speaker and more!

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{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }

PUBLISHER

Kelly Breuer

CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN

Kelly Breuer

LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER PHOTOGRAPHY

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

ADVERTISING SALES

Brody Wheeler Brody Wheeler Michele Ashlee Murray Yaravitz Julie Oldfield

Laura Marino Melissa Danko LucaBear Friends Pet Photography

Dr Pam Denton Robin DeWind Bonnie Floyd Steve Knittle Alana Cahoon Lisa Wagner Judi Swanson Denise “Karma” Clifford Dr Shanelle Benson Reid Johnny Williams Tammy Vreeland Rumella Cameron Beth Parry Cindy DeCarolis Bre Morris Angela McGhee Debbie Bernacki Terri-Ann Graham Kristin Bauer Gross Randy Agness Amanda Ashley Matthew Albert Christine Piacentino

Julie Hahn Omenessa Akomolafe Kathy Gleason Tracy Simone

Kelly Breuer

SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR

Network Rochester

WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT

Network Rochester

Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the Greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com. The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2021 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.





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YOUJULIE ARE HAHN ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP PHOTOS BY BRODY WHEELER & STUDIO

Tell our readers a little bit about yourself and your background. Who is Julie Hahn? I am a wife and mother of four children. I have a step-son who is 13 and triplets (two boys and a girl) who are 11 years old. My husband Greg and I have been married for twelve years. In my professional life, I am an Assistant District Attorney with the Monroe County District Attorney’s Office. I have been an Assistant District Attorney for nearly 23 years. Currently, I serve as Chief of the Major Felony Bureau, which is responsible for the prosecution of violent crimes and homicides in Monroe County that are not domestic related. I have served in this role since 2016. I have been a Bureau Chief since 2008 in other bureaus within the office, and also served as Deputy Chief of the Major Felony Bureau. Where are you from? Tell us about where you grew up and your family. I grew up right on the border of Irondequoit and the City of Rochester. My parents divorced when I was very young, so I was raised primarily by my mother. My older brother and I lived with her and saw our dad on weekends, but she was our primary caretaker. Being a single mom, she worked multiple jobs to make ends meet. My brother and I had to learn to take care of ourselves at a young 18

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age because our mom had to work. I cooked, cleaned, did the laundry and my schoolwork. We didn’t have a lot. We lived in a small apartment and had to work together to keep the household running. My mother depended on us to help her and we did the best we could. Where did you go to school and what made you choose your career path?

I graduated from Bishop Kearney High School in 1991. I earned my Bachelor’s Degree from St. John Fisher College in 1995. I earned my law degree from the University at Buffalo School of Law in 1998. I passed the New York State and Massachusetts bar exams in 1998 and became a licensed attorney in January of 1999, which is when I started my career at the District Attorney’s Office. I knew at a young age that I wanted

to be a lawyer. A friend of my mother was a court reporter and I recall going to court one night with her so we could meet her friend to go to dinner. As I watched the proceedings, I was impressed by the role of the attorneys in the courtroom. I was only in fourth grade, but it intrigued me. I liked that the attorneys were advocating for people and wanted a fair resolution to the case. That really drew me in and I made up my mind that I was going to be a lawyer when I grew up. I chose to be a prosecutor at a young age. I was very close with my mother and she would often comment on criminal cases happening in the news, or reports of crimes that happened in the community when I was growing up. I recall thinking who represents people who have suffered harm, or those who have been killed and don’t have a voice anymore? How do they get justice? I learned more about the role of a prosecutor and felt that was a good fit for me. I always had a sense of fairness, especially having an older brother and advocating for myself when I thought my mom wasn’t being fair. It may sound cliché, but I had a fire inside me to pursue justice and fairness at a young age and it has stayed with me to this day.


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“Doing the right thing on behalf of the community makes me hustle. I take my role as a prosecutor very seriously and know my obligation is to seek justice. Justice is not a one-size-fitsall approach.”

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{ COVER STORY } “I was only in fourth grade, but it intrigued me. I liked that the attorneys were advocating for people and wanted a fair resolution to the case.”

What makes you hustle and empowers you in your career? Doing the right thing on behalf of the community makes me hustle. I take my role as a prosecutor very seriously and know my obligation is to seek justice. Justice is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Justice can mean a dismissal, treatment, community service, jail time, or sentences in state prison. I have to consider all aspects of a case: the facts, the law, safety to the community, the impact on the victim and the accused. I often make difficult decisions that take all of these aspects into account in order to serve the community the best way I possibly can while always fulfilling my obligation to seek a just result. I am empowered by the results I achieve for people in the courtroom. The cases I personally handle involve some of the most serious and horrific crimes where people have been killed or seriously injured. Families are often devastated and going through the criminal justice process is daunting and complex. I guide them through the best way I can and strive to achieve justice for them. Many people are so appreciative and grateful for the time and effort I put into their case and made sure their voices were heard. I feel that I help make a difference in their lives by working hard on their behalf and achieving justice for them. My work is very rewarding. How do you balance work and life responsibilities, especially when you have such a demanding career and are now running for County Court Judge.

My husband and I are truly a team. We have a big family and they are our priority. We work together to make sure they are taken care of and where they need to be with all of their activities. My husband has been very supportive throughout my career. He gives me the time and space I need to focus when I am doing murder trials. He’s also good about the late night calls I get to respond to homicide scenes. Greg is very supportive of my run for County Court Judge. He is a tremendous help in so many ways. Working together is how we balance work and life responsibilities, and he has helped me so much with the campaign. Who inspires you to live your best life? My children truly inspire me to live my best life. We are very fortunate to have healthy and amazing kids. The triplets were born premature at 26 weeks and spent 2 ½ months in the NICU at Strong Hospital. They had many health issues and complications that ultimately resolved. Those days were very difficult, but we had faith they would pull through and come home and they did. We are so fortunate that they do not have any health issues now. When the triplets were babies, my older son Gianni always wanted to help take care of them and look out for them. As they have grown, he has truly fulfilled his role as a big brother. The kids are a reminder to value every day and be grateful for the blessings in life. What do you feel are the most important attributes of successful

leaders today? Listening is such an important thing to do in order to be successful at anything. Taking the time to listen to others and appreciate what they are saying to you does two things: it lets people know their voices matter and it allows the listener respond in a meaningful way. I think it’s also important to be able to make decisions and give people feedback about issues or questions they have. As a Bureau Chief, I am often asked about how to handle legal issues or present evidence in court. Giving people direction about how to navigate through those things helps them learn and become even more experienced about those issues in the future. If you don’t take the time to truly listen and give people meaningful direction or feedback, nothing really gets accomplished and people walk away unsatisfied and unprepared on how to deal with their issue. Where do you see yourself a year from now? 3 years? 5 years? As a Monroe County Court Judge. What would you say are the top three skills needed to be powerful and empowering leader in the judicial system? Be a good listener, have patience, and be decisive. Who would you define as your female hero and why? My mother is my hero. She died when I was 17 years old during my senior year of high school. We were very close and her death was devastating to me. My mother was diagnosed with AIDS ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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COVER STORY } } { { SHIFT+CONTROL “ I recall thinking who represents people who have suffered harm, or those who have been killed and don’t have a voice anymore? How do they get justice? I learned more about the role of a prosecutor and felt that was a good fit for me.”

when I was 13 years old. It was 1987 and I just started high school. My brother and I were shocked by her diagnosis. I will never forget the day she told us and it literally felt like someone punched me in the stomach. There were so many things that people did not know about the disease back then, which made it even harder to process. One thing I learned quickly was there was a stigma against people with HIV and AIDS. It was seen by many as a disease affecting the gay and lesbian community or those that used intravenous drugs. People treated me different. I was called names. Those days were very tough. My mom fought against that stigma and went out into the community to educate people about the disease. She would tell people how she did not fit into the stereotype people had about those who suffered from HIV and AIDS. Her message was for people to move past the stereotypes and realize that anyone can be infected with the disease and to view those affected by the disease as human beings; people who come from all walks of life who are deserving of kindness and compassion at a time in their lives when they are dying and the world around them is turning against them. She worked with her doctors in this endeavor, Dr. Bill Valenti and Dr. Steve Schiebel. They were early pioneers in treating HIV and AIDS in this community and trying to spread awareness and a sense of compassion. I got to know both of them well, and unfortunately Dr. Schiebel passed away a few years ago. Despite how hard she fought, my mother 24

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succumbed to the disease. She died on December 27, 1990. She is my hero because she inspired me to be a voice for others against all odds and always have a sense of compassion for others. Before she died, she encouraged me to be strong and stay the course to achieve my goal of becoming an attorney. Losing her was very hard for me, but I did what she told me to do, and I carried the example she set for me all along the way which brought me to where I am today. What made you decide to want to go on the journey to become a judge especially after such a successful career in the DA’s office?? Much of my career has been focused on handling complex violent crime and homicide cases. I have gained so much knowledge in my experience with handling these types of cases, and I have worked with people from many different backgrounds throughout my career at the District Attorney’s Office. I have worked to make a difference in people’s lives. I have the opportunity now to bring my life and work experience and dedication to the County Court bench as a judge. The cases that are handled in Monroe County Court involve some of the most serious crimes that occur in the community. I have always recognized the importance of having judges in County Court who know the law, know how to handle these types of cases and make decisions that take the community into account. I’ve done that for nearly 23 years as a prosecutor and my experience makes me well suited to continue to serve the community as a County Court Judge.

What has been your biggest obstacle and your great success in your career? The biggest obstacle for me in my career was getting people to take me seriously when I first started as an Assistant District Attorney. Some attorneys were condescending or referred to me in a derogatory way. Of course, this was very upsetting, especially since I was just starting out. I told myself the best way to prove them wrong was to be the best trial attorney I could be in the courtroom. I made sure I was always highly prepared every time I appeared in court and never missed deadlines or gave anyone a reason to think I was someone who could be taken advantage of. If I did not know something, I researched the law and asked questions of my supervisors. I think my greatest success is that I have evolved into a strong trial attorney who handles the most serious crimes that happen in the community. I have had a very successful career and worked very hard to become the trial attorney I am today. Beyond my trial results, I have confidence in the decisions I make with respect to the cases I handle and those handled by members of my bureau and that has come from years of experience. Not every case results in a trial. Some cases result in a guilty plea, other cases may not have enough evidence to move forward, or some cases are not prosecuted because there is evidence the person charged did not commit the crime. In my experience, I have to consider all aspects of a case: the facts, the law, the impact on the community, the victim and the accused. I make often difficult decisions that take all of those aspects into account


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{ {SHIFT+CONTROL COVER STORY } } “My mother is my hero. She died when I was 17 years old during my senior year of high school. We were very close and her death was devastating to me.”

in order to serve the community the best way I can while always fulfilling my obligation to seek a just result. What goes through your mind when you think of women who have sat on the bench before you will? What would you do the same or be different? What do you feel will make you a successful Judge? They have all worked hard to be where they are, and I think everyone can respect that. In my experience, the best judges are the ones who listen, are patient, take the time to research issues related to a case, treat others with respect and know how to read people. I have had a lot of practice doing these things over the course of my career, and I believe these characteristics will make me a successful judge. What do you feel are some of your greatest strengths and assets? Paying attention to detail and multitasking. I think this holds true both in my everyday life and in my work. When I am working on case, I really focus in on the details to see how the facts all fit together. I also look to see what more I can do to add to the case. Trial work involves putting everything together from different sources: police, civilian testimony, medical testimony, forensic testimony, and so much more. You have to know how to present the case in a way that the jury can easily follow 28

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and understand. For me, I am always building from what each piece of evidence shows to a jury to give them a true picture of what happened. To do this, you have to multitask and be organized. Having four kids certainly gives me plenty of practice in my everyday life. What motivates you to work hard? I’m motivated to seek justice and do the right thing on behalf of the community

What has been your favorite thing about the career path you have chosen? The work I do is interesting and exciting. Although the cases I handle are horrific, they are always interesting. I have created a niche for myself in handling cases that involve DNA and other types of forensic evidence and that has always been an interest of mine. I also work on cold case homicides, which I really enjoy. Additionally, I have on-call duties to respond to homicide scenes three months out of the year. I work along with homicide investigators at the scene and that has always been interesting. What makes you laugh the most? My kids! One of my boys is a serious joke teller. He comes up with his own jokes all the time. I love it when the kids are just being silly. They all make me laugh!

I serve. I have never lost sight of the fact that the decisions I make have lasting impacts on the victims, the accused and the community, and if you’re not motivated to work hard to ensure you are doing the right thing then the community is not served well. What is your proudest accomplishment? My f a m i l y i s m y p r o u d e s t accomplishment.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be and why? Relax! I don’t have much time to do that at all. My life right now consists of family, work, home and campaigning. I’m always going. I would enjoy one day to just do nothing but watch my favorite movies. What advice would you give to the next generation of female leaders? Always make yourself available to those you supervise. Take the time to listen and actually help come up with solutions to problems or issues. Don’t get discouraged by setbacks. Work


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COVER STORY } } { {SHIFT+CONTROL “My children truly inspire me to live my best life. We are very fortunate to have healthy and amazing kids.”

hard to overcome obstacles and show your worth to the world. Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? Chocolate! If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? I would be able to clone myself so that I could get everything done all at once! What is some of the advice you share with young women entering a maledominated profession? People may underestimate you for a variety of reasons. Be prepared and prove them wrong through the work that you do. Hard work, preparation and dedication to your craft will earn

you the respect of those in the profession. Where will we see you in the future? As a judge in Monroe County Court. What else would you like our audience to know about you? My husband and I enjoy ballroom dancing when we get the opportunity to do it. He was previously a ballroom dance instructor, so we have a lot of fun when we dance! I also love rock music, football, and of course supporting my kids at their events. What has been your most memorable case while an Assistant District Attorney and why? The most memorable case of my career is a cold case homicide that was solved

last year. It involves the death of a 14 year old girl in the City of Rochester in 1984. The case was unsolved for 36 years. I’ve been working on the case since 2011 with the Rochester Police Department and the Monroe County Crime Lab. Being able to solve that case was truly the highlight of my career. As Chief of the Major Felony Bureau, what have you accomplished in your time there? I have helped younger attorneys evolve into well rounded trial lawyers who are dedicated to doing the right thing and seeking justice. Some have gone on to become judges or supervisors themselves. I’m very proud of the work my bureau does on a daily basis.

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P & W

r e t s e h Roc a z z i P Style

STE IN

homema


A Z Z I P S G N WI

BEST BS U S K EA ! N W O N T

ade Italian sub bread!

IT’S ! S U O I C I L A H FIS

fish frys, calamari, shrimp, fish sub

N A I L I TA S R E DINN


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MELISZA YOU ARE CAMPOS ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Tell our audience about who Melisza Campos is and where she came from? I am a mom of three awesome kids, a wife, daughter, sister and friend. I work for one of the best food retailers in the world and am a master facilitator for a world-class training organization. I am constantly driving out my inner self-critic (because it’s real and always there) to take on challenges with fierce ambition, fun and focus. My purpose is to focus on love, elevating others, boldness, and excellence to empower my family, organization, and other people to make the world a better place. I came from an amazing family that always has lifted me up, and I try to create that for my husband and kids. What makes you hustle? I value excellence, which means I take ownership for what I do and dream. You can’t have one without the other. As a Latina, I hustle to impact our community in small ways, and to lift others, particularly people of color, with me. How did you end up as the Priority Owner for Incredible Customer Service for Wegmans for Rochester NY Metropolitan Area? I have had a deep love for Wegmans for many years, and I was all in when I came on board.

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In my roles in marketing and operations, I always focused on doing the right thing for our people and customers, and I think that was noticed. I was willing to be humble, dive into a new industry, not be the expert, understand the operation, and be curious. It was extremely difficult to do this when I was an expert in my field of human development and facilitation.

human will be the ones that thrive. It’s so exciting to work on a place of strength for the company. How do you balance work and life responsibilities, being a female leader? There is absolutely no such thing as balance, because life is dynamic and unpredictable. It’s about compromise and aligning your actions with what’s important to you. I live by the quote from Jocko Willink, “Discipline is freedom.” I focus on simplifying life so I can do more and enjoy precious time with family. I try to make it easier to put food on the table, still find time for our family to connect and experience life as a unit, and exercise to stay sane. Who inspires you to live your best life? My husband; he is one of the most incredible humans, and makes me want to be a better person.

What are the roles and responsibilities associated with this job? At Wegmans, we are known for our incredible customer service because of our caring, knowledgeable people. We are looking at how we want to evolve that service to grow customer relationships through more personal interactions that add value. I’ve heard that the companies that feel the most

What would you say are the top three skills needed to be powerful and empowering woman in this day and age? In my experience, it takes a lot of people to accomplish meaningful and complex work, so the ability to build and navigate relationships, think critically through strategy and planning, and communicate in a confident manner builds credibility.


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{ SHIFT+CONTROL } }} { BLACK WOMEN WOMAN ON THEROC RISE “My purpose is to focus on love, elevating others, boldness, and excellence to empower my family, organization, and other people to make the world a better place.”

What goes through your mind when you think of women who have done this before you? What would you do the same or differently. It’s always easier to have hindsight. I am grateful for the women who have come before me, because they were the true pioneers who fought for more family friendly practices to equalize the playing field, equal pay, and equity in general. I am more successful in the business environment because of them. What motivates you to work hard? Passion and vitality for life. I live life to the fullest and with energy so I can be the best version of me. That sounds Pollyanna, but it’s truly difficult to do this on a consistent basis. I am fulfilled when I get results and win; connect and find moments with people I love;admire and/or care about and live with faith, inspiration and enthusiasm even when I don’t feel like it. As a mom, I am motivated to model the way for my three kids, too. What is your proudest accomplishment? Besides becoming a mom, I would say being selected to be part of the Changemakers exhibit at the RMSC. That validated the work I have done over many years at Dale Carnegie, as well as in the community. When I went to visit the exhibit with my kids, it was one of the most moving experiences to see their reaction and pride when they saw my part of the exhibit. I live to be an example for them. What is one thing you have done that not many people know about you? 40

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When my husband and I first got together, he was the lead singer in a band, and I was a “band aid” for years. I would travel with the band on the weekends. We lived in Philadelphia, and he worked many jobs to make ends meet. I had an entry-level job at Dale Carnegie. We built our life together and it wasn’t easy, especially in the beginning. What is your favorite thing about the career path you have chosen? It’s pretty simple…I have always focused on impacting others in different ways - that’s the human experience. People have told me that I have a divine sense of what is needed in the present and future based on what I have learned in the past. I attribute that to being a tireless maximizer at heart, an observer of people, and a master facilitator. Do women in your profession have a hard time getting promoted? As a realistic optimist, I am always aware of the barriers I face, and take personal responsibility to crash through them by determining what actions I need to take. Being a woman of color definitely has it’s challenges, no matter what profession you are in, and it always will. There are unconscious biases, judgements, and perspectives you have no control over. Having a pioneer mindset is hard, and necessary to overcome these challenges. If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be and why? I think the older I get, the simpler I become. I would love to spend the

day with my family doing something fun, with a lot of laughter. What values are most important to you as a leader? Love and excellence. Love, because it’s the opposite of fear and judgement. Love in action is building trust, helping others, and having compassion. Excellence is a standard, and not perfection, which is rigid and unattainable. These two values guide my behaviors (most of the time) and my personal standard. What family member do you call when you have good news to share and why? I am so lucky to have a close-knit family and would probably text them all at once! That would be my husband, parents, and brother. They are my biggest cheerleaders. If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? I think I would be Flash so I could get the kids to all their activities a lot quicker and gain more time. I would also have a lasso of truth like Wonder Woman to ensure my interactions always reside on the side of truth and what’s right. What is your favorite childhood memory? I love weekly traditions that create memories. Every Saturday night, our parents would have a “talent show” in clapping no matter what I did. #19 Do you use your influence and


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{ SHIFT+CONTROL } }} { BLACK WOMEN WOMAN ON THEROC RISE “I value excellence, which means I take ownership for what I do and dream. You can’t have one without the other.”

our living room, dedicated to showing off all our talents, including my brother and cousins. I remember my mom and dad always sitting on the couch clapping no matter what I did. Do you use your influence and offer your support to help other women succeed? 42

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I am so fortunate to work with WOCHA (Women of Color Honor and Ambition) at RIT. This is a program that really helps create those future leaders by giving them the tools to be successful in the current business environment. It is so fulfilling and a privilege to impact younger women of color before they even enter the

business world. Where will we see you in the future? Making a difference, impacting people, and getting results.


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The DiMarco Group has be and family-operated f is well-prepared

Photo by Brody Wheeler


een proudly family-owned for over 100 years and for the next 100! Since 1908, the DiMarco family has been in the construction business and today, that foundation supports: • Admar Construction Equipment & Supplies • Baldwin Real Estate • DiMarco Constructors • J. DiMarco Builders • DiMarco Realty Services • VentureX

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DiMarcoGroup.com


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JENNIFER SOTO YOU ARE ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO PHOTOS BY JULIE OLDFIELD

Tell our audience a little about who you are, where you came from, and what your background is? I was born in Arecibo, Puerto Rico. My grandfather migrated from Cuba to Puerto Rico during the Revolutionary War, and he married and started a family. My grandfather had children in which one would be my mother. My mother and fmarried in Puerto Rico at a young age, in which they went on and had 4 children ( all girls ). Well, the oldest of the four daughters was me. I grew up in a small town of people where literally everyone knew each other. I remember walking in groups of kids through a passageway in the back of our community to reach the next street over and go to school. All the moms used to watch out for each other’s kids. I remember growing up watching my father working on construction and doing mechanic work as a side hustle and watching my mother take me with her to do all kinds of direct sales companies like Avon, May Kay , Beauty Control etc. As a child it opened my mind to a whole other world of possibilities and earnings. The first sale I made was at the age of 9. I drew a Little Mermaid picture, colored it and sold it to a student for 15 cents that I used to buy my own candy in our snack store at school. I arrived In Rochester NY at age 11 with my family, a dream of doing better and none of us knew how to speak English at all. When I started school I remember being bullied and/or made fun of since

I did not understand anything that was spoken to me. My mom and dad quickly found a job and I would help with my sisters getting them ready for school and setting myself up for school. After my experience with the kids at school and watching my mom and dad continue to push, I told myself I would do the same. Just a few short months after that I could hold up a conversation in English and help translate for my parents. From that point on I started my journey In

Rochester, NY. I currently have a background in Management, Sales and Training. I have a total of almost 12 yrs of experience in telecom communications and a technical background. As of the present day I have been self employed for two and half years now and love it. What makes you hustle? What makes me hustle? That depends on which perspective you’re looking at. Some of the things that make me hustle

have always been providing my children everything they need or want. As a child I saw my parents do the same for us. They instilled in us the desire to always want more for our children. Additionally, to provide a good example and foundation they can learn from. Another reason I hustle is to demonstrate and prove that not everything that people presume, or think is going to happen, will happen. I am a big believer of the phrase “ YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES DO NOT DEFINE YOU THEY REFINE YOU”. I believe that if women believe that, they could do anything they set their mind and heart to. Lastly, I hustle because I deserve the freedom to be available for my family, I deserve a shot at having something of my own, I deserve the chance to tell my kids I did it and so can you and hope they feel proud of the mom they have. Tell us a little about your history, your wife and family. Although my history has not been perfect I am grateful for each experience in life. It has taught me many lessons and has led me where I am today. I was a young mom with my first child ( a son ) at age 15. My parents, although not happy, were very supportive. I did not have a welcoming attitude from the other side of the family. In fact I was faced with many opinions and other options besides keeping my baby. I made the decision to keep my baby and continue ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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BLACK WOMEN ROC} } } { {WOMAN WHO INSPIRES { SHIFT+CONTROL “ I got where I am today because I saw an opportunity to have control over my life, income, abilities and potential.”

to go to school and work at the same time. Like many of us, some of my 1st jobs were in retail stores or fast food restaurants to support my child. I was lucky enough that although things did not work with my son we still managed to co-parent. At the age of 16 I notice that i have always had an Interest In the same sex. I was more comfortable and could be myself. Coming from a heavy Religious background this was an absolute no. My parents were always in church and raised us that these feelings were Not ok. I tried telling my parents once and I was terrified. My father was very old school and the perfect example of tough love. My mother was strict and stern in her beliefs as well. It did not go as I planned. Needless to say I suppressed those feelings and never talked about it and continued life like “ I Should “ the “ Right “ way. By the age of 17 in a half (2004 ) I got married to a man that would show me a whole other world and emotions that I could not have even envisioned. By the time I turned 18 I had already experienced : Isolation from friends, Physical Abuse, Mental Abuse, Humiliations, Disrespect and a broken heart on top of a child made out of the marriage. It was an absolute toxic maze that no matter where I looked I could not get out. During my years within this marriage I learned what it was to survive on very little to Nothing. I went without eating so i would not take away from my sons food, I knew what it was to walk under snow storms and take off my winter gear to put it on my son so he would be warm, as i carried bags, i 48

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walked under 90 degree heat to get my license, i learn to put a smile up for my son so he would know im ok. I learn to make up stories like “Mami got Cool Shiny Hair clips so i don’t have to do my hair to hide 9 staples in my head Or Cool Mummy bandages on my arm so i could play scary mummy with him. You become numb, and Conflicted of your life and what it could have been or whether you did something wrong. Is that person right in any way, shape or form? And all of this as I am hiding many of it from friends and family. By Age 19 - 20 (2006- 2007 ) I worked up the courage to move out and leave, get my own house start it a better job, To find my self back In that very maze that i had finally stepped out of. This person now has scaled up into a whole new level of uncertainty. Although i had my own place now i experienced stalking, Traspassing in my house through back doors, Walking into a dark house not knowing what would happen when i turn the light on. After so much trying to start over i was back at square 1. It was not until 2011 that the final episode of that fragment of my life played out. That last incident i decide it to fight back. After a bruised face, a black and blue hand print on my neck and several cuts, and Holding on to my fainted breath while still holding on to now child number 2 of 10 months that she would not get hurt. That i fought back, managed to get out the house and finally justice was served. I was giving a stay away order of 5 yrs which with that i could file for divorce. I realize at that moment that Fear hold us back from so many things sometimes. If we

just fight back, give your self a chance and believe things might just happen. Age 25 -26 ( 2012 - 2014 ) i decide to give my self another shot at life, family and happiness. At this point i have trust issues, not confident, scared, and with lots of anxiety. But i try not to allow that to hold me back. I start dating again, after 1 yr in half of this new relationship that start it with support, fun, company and filling the void of loneliness i found my self pregnant again and both of us drifting apart. Personalities were changing, priorities were changing, aspirations were changing and we just did not want the same things. But this time I was not going to live unhappy. I had a decent job, a new residence and my first 2 kids were happy. So we made a decision to co- parent once the baby came and i choose ME this time. In September 24th 2014 I met the person that would sweep me off my feet, make me smile and Push me to things i would not thought of doing on my own. Today she is who i call My wife, my back bone, Protector, safe place, supporter and BEST FRIEND. My wife is very strong mind it. She has a degree in criminal Law, She currently is not in that field but she is a supervisor of a leading Telecom communications company on a commercial level. She is very chill and driven with everything she does. Although she loves cars, shopping for the latest things, and doing family activities. Her New absolute everything for the last 4 years has been our son. Which we had through IVF after getting married in august 2016. My wife is very


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BLACK WOMEN ROC} } } { {WOMAN WHO INSPIRES { SHIFT+CONTROL “I hustle because I deserve the freedom to be available to my family. I deserve a shot at having something of my own. I deserve the chance to tell my kids I did it and so can they and hope they feel proud of the mom they have.”

My wife is very caring , loving , helps in any way anyone she can. She has a very good heart. Completely Romantic and attentive.

how that end effect is going to feel or the fact that i can celebrate the fruits of my labor home with my family and noone did that but me.

As a parent she is strict and very focus on education. She teaches the values of life and also the values of self care.

#5 Name a tramatic event in your life and what you did to overcome it? A tramatic event i went through was when my son decided to move out with his dad at 16 to try a different school. I felt betrayed, I felt scared because mom is always supposed to be there to protect you, I felt broken like a child was stolen after so many years of vested energy and love while he was with me, and i felt not want it. I was depressed for a while, didn’t have the energy to do much. My family and business were hurting over this.

My family Consist of 4 children ages 18, 11, 6, and 4. We have 3 boys and 1 girl. My oldest is a high school graduate out of the house and living on his own, which i am very proud of him. Like with any teenager you have your moments but as a parent you don’t give up and continue to push. My daughter is 11 she a total diva, She has a bubbly personality and very energetic. My 6 yr old he is like the old soul of my kids. He is goofy, very loving and caring, and very emotional. Our smallest one the 4 yr old he is very strong mind it. Has a tough character, and can be very sweet. He too is very energetic. Both boys have a love for dinosaurs and sea animals that is incredible the information they know at their age. How did you get to where you are today? What gives you strength? I got where i am today because i saw an opportunity to have control over my life, income , abilities and potential. I didn’t give up when it got tough or confusing i continue to push.I asked questions, do research what ever it takes. You have to be willing to do what you have to do, to get where you want to be. We are all in a journey in life going through different failures, mistakes and rough patches but success would not be attainable if we didn’t have any of those. What gives me strength is knowing

I decided that was enough i looked at my self and said you are as strong as you are do to your own experiences . Allow him to built those same coping factors, and solutions on his own. I said he will be fine because he will see you fine. But you have 3 other children that need you in this face of their life. Start it a completely different outlook on things. What challenges have you faced this year, especially in business, and how have you pivoted? Some of the challenges i have experience this year are,: covid 19 like all of us in one way or other it pretty much has affected everyone. In the very begining sales slowed down. Customers had priorities and that was understood. But as a business owner you have to find ways that you not only connect with your customers on a understanding level but also continue to move your business. This year i have not being able

to do many home parties, or allow no one in my home store due to safety health reasons in my home. What I have done is I have research whether through web tutorials, or books I have read information on algorithms in social media how they work what are the drivers, and things to do to allow your algorithm to prioritize You on social media allowing for viewers to go up . In doing that not only your viewers go up, but also your sales because you are generating an organic list of new people that are joining your lives but also giving those other customers that break that although they might not want they have to have. I have also gone up on my live videos , this allows Consistency and the ability to replace some of those home parties that now your doing live. What motivates you and keeps you moving forward ? This is simple - my family motivates me, having the freedom to attend school activities, getaways with my wife, have a fun filled day, being there when they get home, or just being able to help my wife more because i am available and have the flexibility to switch my schedule. Also the ability to help others do the same. Being able to take a another woman/man just like me. Giving her or him the tools and the support she or he needs to work at their dreams, or aspirations. It motivates me because i am changing someones life. Where do you see yourself personally and professionally in the next 3-5 years? ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ SHIFT+CONTROL BLACK WOMEN ROC} } } { {WOMAN WHO INSPIRES “Although my History has not been perfect, I am grateful for each experience in life because it has taught me many lessons and has led me where I am today. ”

Personally i see myself maybe living in a warmer area . Also I would like to built a non profit organization or platform that i can help reach those that are either a Domestic violence survivors or current victims. Maybe through my personal story I can help someones life. I would also love to go back to school. Professionally I have a plan to double or triple my team . Additionally double to triple my income in 3 to 5 years. iIwould love to own a store from as well. This way i can run all sales from there whether in person or via social media and work from home only if i choose too. What made you choose a MLM as your business model and why Paparazzi Jewelry? In today’s Era everything is digital, everything is via computers or some type of electronic device. MLM its perfect for that with MLM you have the ability to control your earnings, your exposure, your time and your future vision. I choose paparazzi because I love their Business Model - They are all about change. Changing your look, the way you feel about your self, changing peoples future and lives. Our Passion is to inspire dreams, empowering talents and teach goals. Now although the jewelry might not change the world alone. Those of us that sale the jewelry absolutely can. You can provide the gift of become financially free, what about that mom that struggles to get sports gear for her son. The parent struggling to pay bill 54

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or just that person that has not taken a vacation in years. Now lets look at a customer that gets a major self-esteem boost the moment the wear the jewelry. Lets look at that woman in the parking lot that’s having a rough day and you walkup to her and say here you go and gift them a piece to turn their day around. Not to mention that paparazzi is unsaturated there is still plenty room for growth. Is the only MLM company currently that earns a full 45 % commission on every sale not including team building compensation. The earnings are also uncapped so there is no limit you make as much as you want at your schedule. They provide resources / training / tools and so much more to allow you to be successful. And their product is good quality , very affordable to all customers and always changing keeping up with the trends. What are some of the pros and cons of being a female entrepreneur, especially doing events, and with social media? Pros - As a female Entrepreneur i feel like we are more patient, we can Connect easier , I feel being a woman your also less intimidating and easier to approach, We put everything into perspective when speaking to others in Social Media you can create a lot more content, You can also get more Creative. Cons -Family needs as women we are required more, so its important to set a schedule for your self, Some customers might test your skills or intelligence simply to know if you know your information, when doing events if you dont have the proper equipment to carry your stuff it

could be challenging, In Social media there is a heavier presence of woman than man doing MLM or other categories. You have to make your self stand out. Do you have any helpful advice to someone interested in starting their own business/franchise? Do something you love. It will be that much easier to invest your time into it. Make sure to recognize your strengths and weaknesses and lead with strengths. Make both short and long term goals. The short term goal will give you that reassurance that your doing it and long term goals are bigger hard to reach. But they should always be attainable/ doable and measurable . If you needed to start all over again tomorrow and you had just one thing to change, add or subtract, what would it be ? The only thing i would do differently is prepare my self better when growth happen and do a lil more research on certain categories. Tell us about one moment in your life that has had a lasting impression on you and formed who you are today. I have to say when my mom use to do MLM companies. That right there set the tone for questions and possibilities. That essentially grew with me into curiosities and then when i finally understood I kept pushing for my self. Tell our audience one thing about yourself that not many others know. I like to eat yogurt with pretzels or I am terrified of the Dentist ( everytime I go I panic).


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BLACK WOMEN ROC} } } { {WOMAN WHO INSPIRES { SHIFT+CONTROL “I would like to build a non profit organization or a platform where I can help reach those that are either Domestic violence survivors, or current victims. Maybe through my personal story I can help someones life.”

How do you balance work and life responsibilities? I try to set a schedule for the day and if possible the week, when planning life stuff or any family activities I am sure to input everything on my phone calendar so i plan everything accordingly.

what’s going on and why maybe certain things cant or can be done.

What is your favorite part of your business and why? My favorite part is meeting new people on my lives getting creative, and having fun while you work.

Intimacy because no matter what either of you are doing personal or business you can not forget one another and who is always in your Corner- supporting,

Understanding to be able to understand sometimes it might not work or they might, or sometimes things get hectic or even overwhelming.

Who knows you best? Of course I have to say my wife knows me best . Who is someone that inspires you and why? Someone that inspires me is one of My upline Earica Cole - She is just like you and I , she start it the business out of a closet space, but no matter what came her way she had and she saw a vision. Today she is a multi millionaire and only in the business for 4 years although she is she still takes the time to train, still takes the time to talk, challenge and meet people. I have met her in person and even spend a week in training bootcamp with her and she was just another one of the girls. But her drive and ambition for success can be contagious. What’s the most crucial thing for a healthy relationship? Communication, Understanding, and Intimacy. You have to be able to communicate on a personal and business lever to let your significant other know 56

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helping or just proud of you. Tell us the story of how you met your wife. I was actually friends with my mother in law for about 4 years prior to ever meeting my wife. I saw wife picture on her desk and i admit it she was cute. After a while when i became single i use to mess around with my mother in law and tell her fake stories about her daughter and I dating. She would tell me to leave her alone or start laughing it was very innocent. But we never saw

each other . After a very long time. Her son was going through some medical problems and my mom in law was not eating well, very worried and stress. So my wife happen to reach me via email because all our emails were very generic in our job and my mother in law had mention my name before. She emails me concerning her mom and tells me to keep her post it how she is doing and if she eats. We would literally talk once or twice a day to check and that was it. Once my brother in law got better and she did too. We stop emailing for 2 weeks and all of a sudden i receive an email checking on me and how i was doing. At this time i was a single mom with 2 kids and expecting a 3rd. I told her how i was doing thanked her for checking on me and we kept it at that. The next morning I sent her a good morning via email and she replied good morning “how was your ride into work”, We told each other it was odd not emailing since we got use to it. So then we start it email each other just to say hey and normal conversations. After 2 months of emailing back and forth we decided to finally meet. It was so funny i was very pregnant trying to walk cute and it was such a fail attempt and she was sooo shy because we spoke only on email. After a few months of emailing, texting, and seen each other I slipped and said I LOVE YOU in a email. It is safe to assume i almost broke the computer trying to get the email not to go through so she wouldn’t panic.


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BLACK WOMEN ROC { {WOMAN WHO INSPIRES { SHIFT+CONTROL } }} “ I told her I don’t want to lose you. I told her I was finally being me. How I felt when we were together was the real me, and that I was ready to take a stand for what I felt and this time.”

The thing was she was feeling the same way and just didn’t know if her feelings were going to be responded back. So my accidental email was actually a push we need it. We started talking a little more about our feelings in person. We were trying to figure things out and i was so confused as to why she would even like me with my penguin walk and huge belly. One day we met to talk and when i went to leave i put something in my car and turned around, To have a kiss stolen from me and of course i respond it. I swear that night i couldn’t even sleep and my face hurt from smiling. Shortly

after that she wrote me a letter pouring her heart out in one of our regular meets she gave it to me and she told me she would never force me into anything but she want it to let me know how she was feeling about me and that it would be my choice, at that point there my heart knew i wasn’t willing to lose her for nothing or noone. I told her I don’t want to lose you. I told her I was finally being me. How I felt when we were together. That I was ready to take a stand for what I felt and want it this time. I said Yes to her. In the very beginning my parents took a little to adjust but they knew I just want

it to give them the respect of telling them first. Now they absolutely LOVE her. What is the best part of your marriage/ relationship? She is my best friend I can laugh , joke, cry, vent, be goofy, get frustrated , share secrets with her . We became best friends before we became couple. What is one thing not many people know about you? I am scared of any dog that is not my own lol - personal I am not a fan of packaging / shipping my orders takes a long time. - business.

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KEEPING FAM

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MILIES CLOSER

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TENDER LOVING FAMILY YOU ARE ENOUGH. CARE BY NICOLE HEROUX I PHOTOS BYWILLIAMS TERRI-ANN GRAHAMBY NSP STUDIO

Tell our readers a little bit about Tender Loving Family Care and the Services for Seniors program. Our mission at Tender Loving Family Care, Inc. is to provide compassionate, quality care and services to meet the needs of our fast growing community. Tender Loving Family Care, Inc. is committed to quality, individualized patient care and proudly dedicated to providing the finest health services to date. Our team of professionals takes pride in our ability to provide support that extends beyond superior care. We believe in addressing the total needs of our patients. We recognize that being friendly, compassionate, and courteous, is just as important as our patients emotional, spiritual, family, and cultural needs. At the core of our success is the very special working relation that exists between the Agency’s employees, administrators, medical staff, and our team approach to the delivery of home health care services. In the current climate, what types of services are you seeing the biggest increase in that you provide your clients? An increase in Family Type Home and Social Adult Day services has become more sought after in our community during the current climate. More people are turning to home care instead of institutionalized settings to care for their loved ones. What makes TLFC different from other home care providers and what 62

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sets you apart? We recognize the importance of a caring family environment. We support our patients’ right to be informed and to exercise their freedom of choice regarding their care. We are further committed to providing leadership in the field of home health care through cost containment quality programs and by sharing knowledge and skills with our staff and peers, and through being actively involved in the community programs.

How did TLFC get started? It all began with Annika D’Andrea, Founder and CEO of Tender Loving Family Care Inc., who has a passion for caring and helping others. She realized from an early age that she was born to serve a special purpose and didn’t believe there was any other way. The passion to care for others was born in her. Annika loves to care, and doing what she loves makes it possible to thrive. Her personal and professional life is guided by the principles of integrity, honesty, quality,

commitment, respect, and dedication. At around six years old, she started helping and caring for those in need. At that young age, she would help people in my church and the community with any tasks that she was physically capable of doing. As an adult, Annika had first hand experience of what it’s like to care for a loved one, without having the resources and support available to provide respite and other much-needed services. Through all of her experiences and strong purpose to make sure others have the best home care services, Tender Loving Family Care was born. What is the mission behind TLFC? Our mission is to always provide compassionate, quality health care services to meet the needs of our fast growing community and serve our communities by providing exceptional care. To make a difference in people’s lives by providing exceptional care, service, and support. To continually create a healing environment where passionate people thrive and excel. What do you feel are the most important attributes that TLFC offers that are different from its competitors? Tender Loving Family Care, Inc., (TLFC) is a New York State Licensed Home Care Services Agency, offering compassionate care to individuals who need extra help to stay independent. We understand everyone’s desire to remain independent, and we actively work with our clients to ensure they live a well-dignified life in the comfort and surroundings of their


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{ SERVICES FOR SENIORS { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “We recognize the importance of a caring family environment. We support our patients’ right to be informed and to exercise their freedom of choice regarding their care.”

own home. TLFC offers in-home care for the young and elderly. Tender Loving Family Care, Inc. takes a comprehensive approach to providing home health care by offering complete solutions in the comfort of your own home. Our services and programs are designed to educate patients and caregivers on their medical condition, injury, or illness in an effort to maximize independence. More and more older people, electing to live independent, noninstitutionalized lives, are receiving in-home care services as their physical capabilities diminish. Younger adults who are disabled or recuperating from acute illness are choosing in-home care whenever possible. As hospital stays decrease, increasing the numbers of patients who need services when they return home. Patients and families can feel confident that Tender Loving Family Care is committed to providing the best quality service and programs. Our focus is always our patients and families’ satisfaction. We provide service in Monroe, Orleans, Ontario, Livingston, Genesee, Wayne, and Wyoming Counties. Our company is based on the belief that our customer’s needs are of the utmost importance. We are committed to meeting those needs. As a result, a high percentage of our business is from repeat customers and referrals.

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What would you say is the most important service you provide to the families? We offer Home Health Care, Family Type Homes, Respite Care, Care Management, and Child Care programs. All of our services are important because we demonstrate compassionate care in all that we do and offer. What activities and amenities do you provide in your “homes”? Our Social Adult Day Program provides a bulk of our activities with a wide range of different experiences providing for the physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual needs of our residents. Our Family Type Homes feature private rooms, spacious and cozy community living rooms, library and dining rooms. Delicious and nutritious meals are prepared in house by the live in operator. What keeps you going, especially during these times of difficulty? The support of our TLFC family and the heartfelt desire to serve our community. Tell us something people may not know about TLFC. We also offer Child Care services to our community. What is the difference between TLFC and typical senior living facilities? Our facilities are small scale homes. Residents are free to occupy the spaces as they wish. We have 4 full time residents in the house and offer short term respite care up to a month. The

house is run by a live-in Operator. As a resident you are part of our family. What Kind of Training Does Your Team Undergo? Our PCA staff is trained and supervised by our RNs. We provide continuing educational in-services throughout the year. With specialized training in dementia care. Our Social Adult Day Program staff is also trained in CPR and basic first aid and emergency preparedness. TLFC also has its own PCA training facilities for those that wish to start a career in caring. . What Role Does Family Play? Family is vital to our business. Everyone of our staff, Caregivers, and clients are a part of our extended family and we treat them as such. How has the pandemic changed how you operate? The pandemic has brought us closer together as a TEAM striving to provide the best possible services to help our community. Where will we see TLFC in the future? Growing. We never stop learning, and with learning comes growing. I believe Tender Loving Family Care will expand to more markets and serve many more clients. I also believe we will develop innovative programs to keep our communities and our clients engaged and build upon our group of companies to offer a wider range of healthcare services.





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SYRACUSE’S FAB 5 YOU ARE ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Tell us about the Fab 5 and how it was created. My name is Tamike Goode-Otis, and I am the former Director of KeyBank Business Boost & Build powered by JumpStart. As part of that position I planned and executed, in collaboration with our local partners, business pitch competitions across four markets Upstate to offer Main Street businesses the same opportunity to pitch as high revenue generating companies. The program ended officially on 6/30/21. However, the Syracuse pitch was the very last pitch competition under the Boost & Build brand with a $10,000 Grand Prize award. We coined the finalists the Fab Five because five women of color secured their spots over 25 other impressive applicants. The theme of the pitch was “Pitch Your Pivot”. The Fab Five demonstrated not only a viable and profitable business pivot but also kept the community in mind and created products or services that greatly gave back to the community. How were finalists selected? First, we partnered with CenterState CEO, UpState NY Black Chamber of Commerce, South Side Innovation Center, Upstate Minority Economic Alliance and WISE to form a review and selection committee and to also assist with promotion. We promoted the pitch application going live for two weeks before it did by leverage the networks and contacts of all of our partners. Then, we created a simple, online application. Businesses had to be in the city of Syracuse, be in business a minimum of two years, have less than $250K annual revenue, be for profit and demonstrate a viable pivot that kept their business operational through COVID. There were 6 individuals on the selection committee. We were intentional about 68

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having at least 2 reviewers to live outside of the city with no affiliation or connection to the businesses. We utilized a rubric for scoring which served as the baseline for informed discussions to select our winners. Anyone who had a personal or personal relationship with any of the applicants, had to recuse themselves from scoring their application. We had a total of 30 applications. After one week or reviewing all applications and a spirited 3-hour long selection meeting, The Fab Five made the final cut. What did they get out of the pitch competition and how has it helped their business over and above the prize money? One component of our pitches is offering technical assistance and business advisory services as part of the process. All finalists were required to attend 2 virtual training sessions and a 3-hour in-person Pitch Training Bootcamp where they were given both individual and group training and attention on perfecting their pitch. Lekia Hill, Founder of www.3eslifestyleonline. com also offered monthlong promotions and a “Top Story” feature for our grand prize winner. Even more than that, the promotion and exposure that comes from such a public event like this is priceless. Our finalists have reached out to me to say the response has been overwhelming and so many members of our community are coming forward to actively support and promote their businesses. Finally, there is nothing like debt-free capital for your business. Between the Fab Five, and through grant funding from the KeyBank Foundation, we infused $20,500 in debt-free capital to their businesses. For small business owners, this can change the trajectory of their business.

What was the mission of the pitch competitions? As I mentioned earlier, historically, business pitch competitions were opportunities for primarily high revenue generating or potential tech companies. The mission of our pitch competitions was to provide access to these same kinds of opportunities to Main Street businesses. Because many women led or BIPOC led business lack the resources or services to assist them in maximizing their success, we made those services and resources available in tandem with the pitch competition. In fact, our training sessions were made available to every who applied, not just those that were selected as finalists. Something that impact numbers and stats don’t show is the sense of confidence that comes from being a part of something so impactful. The sense of now having a team and seeing how your community actively supports your business is such a boost of confidence. That often translates to even more success in business and the willingness to pay it forward to other upcoming small business owners. During the promo video shown at the pitch event, you alluded to continuing the work of holding pitch competitions, what are your plans? Well, there has not yet been a formal announcement, however myself and partners, Chantz Miles and Adie AkuffoAfful, are finalizing the legalities of our new corporation to serve and support Main Street businesses through business pitch competitions, technical assistance, business advisory services and eventually an Impact Investment Fund. Be on the lookout for impACT Equity Inc. very soon!


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ON THE ONE YOU ARE ENOUGH. JASMINE COAN BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

WINNER - 1ST PLACE $10,000 Who is Jasmine Coan ? Tell us about yourself and your background. I was born in Germany, raised in Brooklyn and moved to Syracuse, NY as a young girl. My parents relocated here to provide a better life to my sisters and I. I graduated from Nottingham High School, Cazenovia and LeMoyne College. Music has always been at the center of my life. After graduating LeMoyne College, I decided to pursue DJing. I attended a year program at Scratch DJ Academy in NYC and I’ve been DJing ever since. I am the official DJ for the Syracuse University Women’s Basketball team and Destiny USA. I also DJ’s for other amazing organizations such as the SU Men’s Basketball team, American Heart Association of Greater Syracuse, Gwen Inc., Downtown Committee of Syracuse, Hope for Heather, The Upstate Chapter of the ALS Association, Sisters Empowering Sisters, Girl Scouts of America, Inc. and many more. I am a mother to 2 amazing daughters, Nyla and Nadia. I also have a passion for cooking! Tell our audience about your business and how you came up with your business. I am the owner of On The One, a DJ center located in Destiny USA. The mission of “On The One” is to provide a safe space dedicated to anyone looking to explore the art of DJ’ing. My goal 70

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is to educate and mentor aspiring DJ’s, and provide workshops for young girls and women to empower them to enter the DJ industry. On The One is a place anyone can go to when seeking to book DJ services and a center of resources for DJ’s in and around the CNY area. When I wanted to learn how to DJ, I found it difficult to learn from DJs that were already around. I searched online for classes and NYC was the closest place. I knew then that I would one day make the process easier for anyone that wanted to learn in CNY.

What does being the winner of the Fab 5 mean to you? Being a winner of the Fab 5 means the world to me! Not only has it connected me to amazing women but it provided my business with the support and resources it needs to be successful! What makes you hustle? My mother! My mother was a woman who made who made things happen. I think of her in all that I do and make it happen. How do you balance work and life responsibilities, being a female

entrepreneur and woman leader? Finding balance is continuous but there’s several things that help me. First and foremost, I focus on staying grounded spiritually. My daughters and I say: Philippians 4:13. My significant other reminds me I’m not alone and he helps me with anything I need. I also love to surround myself with women that can relate and I learn from them as well. Who inspires you to live your best life? My daughters! I want them to know that following your heart is always best and pursuing your passion is not easy but worth it. What do you feel are the most important attributes of successful leaders today? Successful leaders today must be bold but humble. Be fearless with your ideas and confident in what you know but also understand where your weaknesses are. What would you say are the top three skills needed to be powerful and empowering leader in this day and age? Three major skills to be a powerful and empowering leader is practicing optimism, being relatable and teachable. What goes through your mind when you think of women who have done this before you? What would you do the same or differently.


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{ SHIFT+CONTROL { CNY’S FAB 5 } } “Successful leaders today must be bold but humble. Be fearless with your ideas and confident in what you know but also understand where your weaknesses are.”

When I think of the women who have come before me I think of their mental strength. I think if it’s hard for me, it had to be harder for them. It pushes me to build resiliency within myself and my daughters. What motivates you to work hard? I am motivated by leading by example. I want other people, girls and women especially, to see me in pursuit of my dreams. That pushes me to work hard.

What makes you laugh the most? I love laughing! The television show “Martin”, Jim Carrey and Jerry Lewis make me laugh the most. If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be and why? I would spend a day exploring the biggest castle in Germany. I loves castles and

What is your favorite thing about the career path you have chosen? Music has been therapy for me throughout my life. I love that I get to center my career around the very thing that gets me through everything!

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? I love that powers is plural! I would be able to run faster than anyone because that’s so important, time travel and be able to reverse anyone’s biggest mistake. Why did you choose Syracuse to start your business? I have always believed Syracuse is a place of opportunity. It never crossed my mind to start anywhere else. I do plan to grow my business to other places but Syracuse will always be home, my foundation.

What is your proudest accomplishment? I am most proud of opening On The One. It was just a thought for many years. To now see it in action has been the most rewarding out of all experiences in my career. What is one thing you have done that not many people know about you? Most people do not know that I’ve been an actual clown several times in my life, LOL. I love making people laugh.

you have good news to share and why? My sisters! Growing up I was the most mischievous of the three of us. They’re the first to know I’m still out here doing good, Lol!

Germany has the most. What advice would you give to the next generation of minority female leaders? My advice is to give value to yourself first. Start doing it as early as you can and in every area of your life.

Where will we see you in the future? In the future you will see me operating as a franchiser, a motivational speaker, restaurant owner and founder of a nonprofit. What else would you like our audience to know about you? Follow me on Instagram: @ OnTheOneCNY and @DJBellaJ

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WHO WANT SMOKE YOU ARE ENOUGH. TAMICA BARNETT BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

SECOND PLACE - $5,000 Who is Tamica Barnett ? Tell us about yourself and your background. I was born on the East Side of Syracuse. I graduated from Henninger High School in 2002. Earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration from St. Bonaventure University in 2006. I am currently employed as a Syracuse Firefighter. I have 10 years on the job. I was recently promoted to Lieutenant, making me the first black female Lieutenant in the history of the Syracuse Fire Department. In 2019 I was elected as a Commissioner of Education for the Syracuse City School District. I currently serve as the Vice-President of the School Board. I have a 13 year old son named Aj, a 3 year old fur baby named Blanco, and I was recently engaged this past February to my best friend Vernon Williams Jr. Tell our audience about your business and how you started your business. Who Want Smoke BBQ & Catering was started because I recognized a true need in our community and for years I did it for free. I am also the commissioner and Director for a youth basketball league at the Boys & Girls Club- Biddy Basketball. Each year we would have a banquet with about 300 in attendance including

players and families. I and a few volunteers would prepare the food each year. Once I decided to launch my catering business, I knew the community would support me and my new adventure. What makes you hustle? Honestly, I hustle because I know what it’s like to be broke. I know what it’s like to be hungry, and over worked and underpaid. It’s hard to be a peace when you can’t make ends

meet, when you are unsure if you can feed your family at the end of the week. My parents worked hard when I was a child but the struggle is real. I don’t want my son to have to worry; I don’t want him to have to work as hard as I have to work. My goal is to set a solid foundation so that my future grandkids can rest easy at night. How do you balance work and life responsibilities, being a female

entrepreneur and woman leader? For me the balance is being a mother, a friend, and an entrepreneur and woman leader. I set boundaries, and prioritize. It doesn’t always work, there are days that I am still unbalanced but it gives me a basis to prioritize what most important to me. Who inspires you to live your best life? My son inspires me to live my best life. If he’s happy, I’m happy. Also, the youth in the community; they are always watching. I know this because when I was a child there were several individuals that I looked up to. What do you feel are the most important attributes of successful leaders today? Integrity, Empathy, Networking, and Accountability What would you say are the top three skills needed to be powerful and empowering leader in this day and age? Interpersonal Communication, Active Listening, Collaborating What goes through your mind when you think of women who have done this before you? What would you do the same or differently. Honestly, I don’t know of any




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“Once I decided to launch my catering business, I knew the community would support me and my new adventure.”

other female Grill Masters. #WhoWantSmoke

government, so I can allocate funds to places I think its needs the most.

What motivates you to work hard? When you work hard for what you have, nobody can take anything away from you. I am working toward generational wealth. I need to break the cycle. I truly don’t want my son to have to work this hard.

What advice would you give to the next generation of minority female leaders? It may not be easy, but you can do it.

Where will we see you in the future? Possibly opening a restaurant once I retire from the Syracuse Fire Department

What is one thing you have done that not many people know about you? Myself and my friend Rasheada Caldwell single handedly registered over 600 elderly residents in the City of Syracuse to receive their COVID vaccine.

What else would you like our audience to know about you? I’m an open book.

What is your favorite thing about the career path you have chosen? I am constantly breaking glass ceiling and creating pathways for more dynamic women to come after me.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be and why? I would like to be CFO for the federal 80

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Why did you choose Syracuse to start your business? Because my grassroots are here, and I knew I would have a strong support system What does being part of the Fab 5 mean to you? It means a lot to be able to stand with other dynamic woman

What is your proudest accomplishment? Raising a well mannered, polite son while juggling a career, politics, and running a business

What makes you laugh the most? When I hear other people laugh. I laugh uncontrollably.

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? I would want to be able to read peoples minds.

What family member do you call when you have good news to share and why? My father first usually, and then my sisters.


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IT TAKES A VILLAGE YOU ARE ENOUGH. TANIKA JONES-COLE BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

THIRD PLACE - $3,000 Who is Tanika Jones-Cole ? Tell us about yourself and your background. A native of Syracuse, NY, a mom of two adult daughters, my oldest daughter has a daughter although I refuse to be called “gramma” lol

How do you balance work and life responsibilities, being a female entrepreneur and woman leader? Ha Ha, what’s that? Being a female entrepreneur owning a 24hr childcare program the days never end. And even after the children go home, it doesn’t

Tell our audience about your business and how you came up with your business.. Families with children ages 6wks - 12yrs old who live or work in Onondaga county. It Takes A Village was birthed out of the need for safe, quality childcare that is open 24hrs a day 7 days a week, that provided transportation and aimed to meet the pain points of families who work and/or are continuing their education. What makes you hustle? I received two calls this week from large families who are currently staying in the homeless shelter and needed childcare during the evening and on weekends. It’s the moms like this who make me hustle hard every single day! That is just one of the many examples but of course the hugs from the children, the laughter, singing, dancing, and the milestones we get to be a part of truly make the hustle seem more like a lifestyle.

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that if one of the parents call me I am answering my phone even if we are on a Caribbean island sipping Pina coladas! Ha Ha! Who inspires you to live your best life? My inspiration comes from all those who are winning! I know that if they can win, I can too!! What do you feel are the most important attributes of successful leaders today? I n t e g r i t y, H o n e s t y, Empowerment, accountability, and courage just to name a few

quite end there - you may get a text or call from a mom who needs some “motherly” advice, or to share some exciting news about them getting a new job, moving, or that the baby just took his/her first step. However I do try to find time to vacation with my family who totally understand

What would you say are the top three skills needed to be powerful and empowering leader in this day and age? Active listening, team player, and the ability to delegate #8 What goes through your mind when you think of women who have done this before you? What would you do the same or differently. I think that every woman who has the ability owned and operated a business, raise a family and maintained good mental health are all SUPER HEROS!! What motivates you to work hard? Setting an example for my children is motivating. Creating generation wealth and opportunities motivates me. And impacting the lives of the


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{ SHIFT+CONTROL { CNY’S FAB 5 } } “Setting an example for my children is motivating. Creating generation wealth and opportunities motivates me. ”

families we serve motivates me.

People who doubted me

What is your proudest accomplishment? I have many proud moments from raising two amazing daughters as a single mom building a successful business, but the most recent accomplishment I am most proud of is expanding my business during the most difficult time in history. We never closed, we continued to serve families in a safe manner when the rest of the world shut down. It Takes A Village Childcare Center was on the frontline!

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be and why? I would lay on a beach on an island

What is one thing you have done that not many people know about you? I became an entrepreneur at 8yrs old when I went door to door on my street selling free brochures I collected from the local unemployment office while there with my mom. I would sell them for a dime, a quarter or whatever but the most impressive part of the story is that PEOPLE BOUGHT THEM! Needless to say my mom was very embarrassed when she found out. Lol! What is your favorite thing about the career path you have chosen? That my family is a part of “The Village”. My daughters and my mom work with me and are just as passionate about the service we provide as I am. What makes you laugh the most?

What advice would you give to the next generation of minority female leaders? Invest in coaching and mentorship,

to positively impact lives every day through the work that I do. Why did you choose Syracuse to start your business? There is a huge need in Syracuse for quality childcare. There are more children who need childcare then there are childcare spots available, and when you throw non-traditional work hours into the equation there really is a need. What does being part of the Fab 5 mean to you? The Fab 5 are 5 DYNAMIC, Syracuse female entrepreneurs and I am honored to be one of them! Where will we see you in the future? It Takes A Village is continuing to enroll new families and has a waiting list on 1st shift… EXPANSION is definitely part of the discussion

it’s a game changer! What family member do you call when you have good news to share and why? Ahh man, you want to start a war! Lol! My daughters, my mom, dad, gramma, and my favorite cousin Nikki! Lol! If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? I am a super hero! I have the power

What else would you like our audience to know about you? In addition to owning and operating It Takes A Village I also mentor current and aspiring childcare owners across the U.S. Sometimes being a business owner can be a lonely role, your family and friends aren’t able to relate. In the childcare industry many feel they have little or no support. I am happy to be a resource so feel free to contact me.

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CAERESA RICHARDSON YOU ARE ENOUGH. ECODESSA LLC BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

FOURTH PLACE - $1,500 Who is Caeresa Richardson ? Tell us about yourself and your background. I’m from Buffalo, NY and relocated to Syracuse as a college student. I’ve lived in plenty of cities for work but have made Syracuse home with my husband and daughter. My professional background is in engineering but I have a diverse career path which has ultimately led me into pursuing entrepreneurship. Tell our audience about your business and how you came up with the name Ecodessa. Ecodessa is a concept boutique based in Syracuse that carries women clothing and accessories from sustainable fashion brands around the world. The name is based on my grandmothers name, Odessa, and the ecofriendly values that myself and my customers have. What makes you hustle? My family, my community, and my faith are the two main motivators in life. Knowing that there are other young girls, particularly Black girls, who are looking at me and seeing their face in mine inspires me to continue pushing boundaries and breaking ceilings in the spaces that I am in for them.

How do you balance work and life responsibilities, being a female entrepreneur and woman leader? Taking time to reconnect with my values and my sense of self is important. I understand the importance of hard work but also appreciate having fun and knowing when it is time for me to get quiet and recharge. Who inspires you to live your best life?

My daughter. It is important that she sees a woman who enjoys her life and enjoys having her in her life. What do you feel are the most important attributes of successful leaders today? Resilience and collaboration What would you say are the top three skills needed to be powerful and empowering leader in this day and age?

Communication Resourcefulness Innovation What goes through your mind when you think of women who have done this before you? What would you do the same or differently. One woman from the past who inspires me is Shirley Chisholm. I admire that she put herself out there in a way that was very brave; knowing that she would most likely fail. In doing so she inspired generations of women to continue her efforts which I believe has contributed to where we are today, having the first woman of color as Vice President of the US and many other “firsts” for women in politics. I would not do anything she did differently. What is your p r o u d e s t accomplishment? Having my daughter. I never saw myself as a mother or thought this was something I would be capable of doing. Seeing her grow everyday and knowing that she is a piece of me created by me is incredible. What is your favorite thing about the career path you have chosen? The personal freedom it has given me to chart my own course in life. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ CNY’S FAB 5 } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Ecodessa is a concept boutique based in Syracuse that carries women clothing and accessories from sustainable fashion brands around the world.”

What makes you laugh the most? I laugh & smile a lot but my husband can usually get the loudest laugh & brightest smile out of me.

What does being part of the Fab 5 mean to you? I am truly honored to be a part of this group. I think it is just representative of

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be and why? Hang out on a carribean beach with my family. I love the sound of the waves and the mixture of the sun and seasalt breeze is just pure magic to me.

Where will we see you in the future? I am still charting that course but I do hope that it includes the level of happiness & freedom that I currently have.

What advice would you give to the next generation of minority female leaders? Go for it. Remember to have fun. Also, everything will be ok. What family member do you call when you have good news to share and why? My oldest sister. She’s always been my “person” If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? I would have wings and would be able to fly Why did you choose Syracuse to start your business? The simplest reason is because I live in Syracuse however, ultimately I have found that it is a great place to easily test ideas which is important in the early stages of your business.

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of color. Each of us represents the large amount of talent that exist in community’s around the world. Most of this entrepreneurial talent is untapped and unrealized due to lack of financing and capital.

the huge need to create opportunities that finance and provide access and capital to startups led by women

What else would you like our audience to know about you? I love helping people achieve their goals. Particularly in leadership and business. Because of this I am a career coach for emerging leaders at Gwen Inc and a business coach at the WISE women’s business center. Through Gwen’s company I have led the You Can’t Fail Leadership Learning Community, a cohort development program for professional women of color, and this year we graduate our 4th cohort. It is something I am immensely proud of because it allows me to help an incredible woman in our community, Gwen Webber Mccloud, establish a legacy through this program and her nonprofit profit You Can’t Fail, Inc.


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{ CNY’S FAB 5 } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “The name is based on my grandmothers name, Odessa, and the eco-friendly values that myself and my customers have.”

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LATISIA HALL-CANNON YOUURBAN ARE ENOUGH. T SYR BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

FIFTH PLACE -$1,000 Who is Latisia Hall-Cannon ? Tell us about yourself and your background. Latisia Hall-Cannon is a wife, mother of 2, STEM professional, entrepreneur and change agent. She is a Syracuse native, City of Syracuse School District and Syracuse University graduate that is still living her best life right here in Syracuse, NY.

grants exposure to those things that are important to and have an impact on the urban community. Tell our audience about your business and how you came up with your business.. Latisia started her business as a way to solve the problem of diversifying

How do you balance work and life responsibilities, being a female entrepreneur and woman leader? Latisia balances being a Mom, career-woman and entrepreneur by setting priorities based on her values and on the immediate needs of her roles and responsibilities. She is relentless about ensuring that her family is well cared for, her career stays in progression and her business flourishes. All of these things don’t happen all at once and at the same intensity but with time and effort spent on each, she believes it is possible.

Latisia has had a longstanding career in in the field of biotechnology having worked for the majority of her career for a global fortune 500 biopharmaceutical company serving in roles of increasing responsibility as well as within different functions. Latisia is now a Product Quality Engineering Manager in the defense industry. She is a leader for Diversity & Inclusion within the corporate spaces in which she works. Latisia is also the CEO of UrbanT which is a media production company that serves as the center of connection for the urban community. UrbanT promotes social activities, cultural celebrations, and meaningful conversations as a way to elevate our collective urban experience. It is the go to source of information on social, cultural, and educational events in and around Syracuse and 102

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What makes you hustle? She hustles because she is passionate about ensuring diversity, inclusion and equity for the Urban community. She understands the power of having information, networking with those outside of your immediate circle and in taking ownership of ones own life and accountability of ones own community.

spaces and opening them up to her community. After being frustrated by not seeing people that looked like her at various personal and professional development event she decided that she would start UrbanTsyr, a subsidiary of UrbanT, to provide visibility to her community.

Who inspires you to live your best life? Latisia’s children inspire her to live her best life. She often talks to them about the capacity and capabilities that they have and then she leans into that message by internalizing that for herself as well. She moves in a way that is in direct alignment with what she is teaching and wants them to see.


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{ CNY’S FAB 5 } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Latisia is now a Product Quality Engineering Manager in the defense industry. She is a leader for Diversity & Inclusion within the corporate spaces in which she works.”

Her effort to be authentic leads her behavior and her children are privy to not only hearing about how they can rule the world, the get to watch their mother do just that. What do you feel are the most important attributes of successful leaders today? Speaking of authenticity, I believe that it is the most important attribute of a leader or successful person. These days, anyone can discern when someone is being less than truthful and people are hesitant to follow or buy-in if they feel that they cannot trust you. People revere others that show that they are not always right or know all of the answers but are moving forward in that truth anyway. What would you say are the top three skills needed to be powerful and empowering leader in this day and age? Three skills that a powerful and empowering leader must have are communication skills, emotional intelligence (exhibit empathy) and resilience. All are needed for the variety of challenges that a leader may face at any given time. What motivates you to work hard? I am motivated by the pursuit of excellence. I feel an obligation to be and do the best that I can because I was given unique and special gifts to share with the world. If I don’t work hard and give it all that I have, I feel like it was an effort wasted. Excellence is a way of life for me and I bring that essence into every space.

What is your proudest accomplishment? My proudest moments have to be when I am told how kind and supportive and generous my children are. Not smart or talented, but kind. It matters to me that they show everyone love and respect. I appreciate that they have learned that no one is above them and that they are not above anyone else. It pleases me to know that they value people of all walks of life and accepts everyone as equals. I am happy that they can look beyond what may be obvious to see the beauty that undoubtedly everyone has. What is one thing you have done that not many people know about you? Most people don’t know that I am overcoming severe insecurity, imposter syndrome and severe fear about my worth. I have evolved so much over the years that this part of who I am may no longer be evident but it exist in a tiny corner of my mind and slam the doors to those unhealthy thoughts daily but pressing myself to stretch. What is your favorite thing about the career path you have chosen? My favorite thing about my career path is that it allows me to show up as a leader in spaces where people who look like me are few and far between. I don’t mind being a trailblazer as long as I can demonstrate my value and the value that others with diverse experiences can bring to the table. What makes you laugh the most? These days my children make me

laugh the most. They are hilarious! Whether I am laughing because they did or said something silly or they experienced a new thing and their take on it was laughable or they light me up with joy seeing how they love and care for each other. I laugh a lot, this is my happy place. If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be and why? If I could choose to do anything for a day, I would surround myself at an event where I interviewed all of the major Black and Brown movers and shakers from all around the world and in each industry. I am inspired by success and excellence and want to share the secrets to being at the top of any game. What advice would you give to the next generation of minority female leaders? I would advise the next generation of Black and Brown women female leaders that they are worthy, they were born that way and no one or nothing can change that. I want young women to come to understand that they have inexplicable value that early in life so that they can get to the business of building their confidence to breakthrough and share their unique talents, unapologetically with the world. What family member do you call when you have good news to share and why? I call my Mom and sister to share good news. They actually hear good news and bad news first. They are my ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ CNY’S FAB 5 } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Latisia started her business as a way to solve the problem of diversifying spaces and opening them up to her community.”

best friends and trusted confidants. I know that they forever have my best interest at heart, want the best for me and are tireless supporters of all of my crazy ideas. If you were a superhero, what powers would you have? If I were a superhero, I would have the power to change minds. My work largely centers around growth and elevation. Having the power to change minds would enable me to show people the power that they can activate if they would only believe. Why did you choose Syracuse to start your business? I chose Syracuse to start my business because this is my home. It has always been and for the foreseeable future, will be. This was the community that raised me and now I am in a place to nurture it, the harder question to answer would be why wouldn’t I start a business in Syracuse? What does being part of the Fab 5 mean to you? Being a part of the Fab 5 was a 106

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whole experience. I am so inspired by the other 4 women and their commitments to their businesses and to the community. I and am glad to have had the opportunity to share in the Pitch Your Pivot event

a global media powerhouse celebrating the diverse voices and perspectives from all around the world. It will be renowned for its original creations and series and it’s impact on culture through futuristic media. What else would you like our audience to know about you? The audience should know that I am in it for the long-haul. I find purpose and passion in sharing information and I no matter where the road takes the UrbanT business, I am dedicated to always contributing to my community in positive ways.

with them. Where will we see you in the future? In the future, I see UrbanT growing to


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315-752-6585 urbantsyr@gmail.com urbant.biz Urban Community




{{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS}} } { WOMAN ENTREPRENEUR SHIFT+CONTROL

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WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? {{ WOMAN ENTREPRENEUR { SHIFT+CONTROL } }}

STEVE KNITTLE - A HEALTHY LIFE CHANGE PHOTOS BY MURRAY YARAVITZ

Tell us about yourself. Who is Steve Knittle and where are you from? I was born and raised in Geneva NY. I have one sibling, a brother. I currently live in Newark NY with my wife, Kristy, and our dog, Raven. I recently hit a milestone birthday as I turned 40 in October. I am employed as a security guard at DelLago Casino in Waterloo NY. What started you on your fitness and health journey? In 2015, after our wedding, my wife and I made another commitment to each other which was to become healthy. I have always struggled with weight issues and being heavy is a fixture in my DNA. At my heaviest I weighed 436lbs. I knew I needed to make a change but I also knew I needed it to be a life style, long term change. What motivates you? I’ve always been intrigued and interested by bodybuilding. When I first started my journey 6 years ago, I would watch videos with motivational speeches embedded into them. Watching those each morning gave me this incredible drive. It really was a huge help to get me energized and pumped up to get to the gym to start my workouts. Shout out to Makaveli Motivation for the help! Tell us about one person who inspires you and why? I’ve always been inspired by Jay Cutler! He is a 3 time Olympian

and was one of the first guys that I inspired to be. During my journey, I came across a friend that works for Jay Cutler’s company. That same friend sent me a shirt autographed by Jay Cutler himself on an Arnold Schwarzenegger T-Shirt none the less! How ironic! Literally a two in one bonus!.When I first received this shirt I couldn’t wear it, so I framed it in a shadow box that hung on my wall in my home gym for a couple of years. This past Summer, I took

it out of the box, tried it on, and it actually fits now!. Since starting your journey, what is the one thing you are most proud of accomplishing? The pants I was married in was a size 63” waist. I am now wearing a size 38” waist. What are some of the things that you have been doing to help with your fitness and health goals?

Exercise, dieting, and mental health actually. Exercise is vital to get moving but the most important thing was eating a strict diet and keeping your mind focused. You have to be mentally prepared to challenge yourself on a daily basis, almost minute to minute, in order to accept a change in those habits you previously developed in order to make a lifestyle change. It’s definitely not a quick fix. It’s hard work. There are always temptations. Smells of food waifs through the air, people ask you to come over for parties, cookouts, etc with all that subtle pushing to eat. It can be frustrating and challenging. How much weight have you lost to date and over how long of a period of time? I began my journey in the end of October of 2015, so just about six years ago. Just prior to that time period, I had weighed in at 436lbs and today I am at 285lbs. That is a total weight loss of 151lbs. It definitely didn’t happen over night. I am currently on course to loose another 50lbs as I prepare for my first bodybuilding show in June of 2022. What are three things that should be encouraged during the weight loss journey? Most importantly patience! You have to be patient about trusting the process, even when you don’t see those results yourself. Trust the process and continue to have dedication and discipline. Lastly, support. You need support from your family and ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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“At my heaviest I weighed 436lbs. I knew I needed to make a change but I also knew I needed it to be a life style, long term change.”

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TENDER LOVING

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{{ WOMAN ENTREPRENEUR { SHIFT+CONTROL } }} WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? “The pants I was married in was a size 63” waist. I am now wearing a size 38” waist.”

friends, but you need the support from your own self! Trust me, you’ll hear it all and some of it will sting, but, even the negative support can become the fuel and energy needed to push you to draw out the positive. Figure out how to drown the noise and tune into the right type of vibes you need to break through and amp up. How do you celebrate your successes along the way? Simply, enjoying some good food that is actually loaded with calories and a high fat content. Some times that consists of a good cut of steak or ice cream or chips or even cheese curds or candy! A bit of rest and relaxation with my wife, also. What has been the best advice you have been given to help you loss weight and maintain the weightloss? No one is going to care more about you than YOU. Stop worrying about the opinions of others because they truly don’t matter. They do not know what is best for YOU. Do you feel Diet or Exercise are More Important for Weight Loss? They are both equally important. You can’t have one without the other. You need exercise to lose weight, but you also need a healthy food based diet in order for your body to start losing the weight. Perfect ying/yang effect. What significant changes have you made in your life now to maintain your healthier lifestyle?

My eating habits have drastically changed. I am Italian and was brought up on the family style feasts with endless amounts of pasta being readily available. I rarely eat pasta or bread now and when I do indulge, I feel it! I haven’t eaten fast food in months, dare to say over a year and even pizza is a rarity. Fruits, vegetables, and lean meats have become the major players nowadays. What type of exercise and diet have

made the most significant changes in your life? I have seen the most improvement for myself by working with weights 4-5 days a week along with 30 mins of cardio after my workout. The other days when I’m not lifting with weights, I will do 1 hour of cardio after fasting. I’ve also seen significant changes by severely cutting out alcohol and caffeine consumption and increasing daily water intake. I also have learned how to cut calories without compromising taste. For

example, I will use almond milk as a replacement for 2% or even a combination of fat free milk with almond milk. It’s about choice and choosing healthier versions. How did you learn to set realistic goals and how do you maintain them. When I first started this journey, I met a trainer and nutritionist at the gym I go too. Unbeknownst to me, he had been watching my progress from afar and one day he befriended me and then offered some ongoing advice. He taught me to set small goals in order to achieve that BIG GOAL! I would tell anyone to set small weekly goals of a weight loss of 2lbs per week and maintain that as long as you can. In the end, all those small goals add up! What are your plans for the future? I really would like to get a couple of sponsors in the fitness industry interested in me and my fitness goals to allow me to compete in my first ever bodybuilding show experience. My ultimate goal is to step on that stage at a bodybuilding competition and be proud of the amazing journey I have had. To look back at that very moment and remember where I started from, that young kid with no confidence and realize how much I’ve accomplished not only in fitness but in so many other aspects of my life.

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{{ WOMAN ENTREPRENEUR { SHIFT+CONTROL } }} WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? “You have to be mentally prepared to challenge yourself on a daily basis, almost minute to minute, in order to accept a change in those habits you previously developed in order to make a lifestyle change. ”

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Rochester’s Jazz Station Broadcasting Live on 90.1 FM

Streaming online at jazz901.org

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WHAT’S YOUR S WHAT IS YOU


SUPERPOWER? UR PASSION?


{ SHIFT+CONTROL } { COACHING WITH KRISTIN }

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LIFE IN TRANSITION BY DANIELLE MENSING

Life in transition. There has been a collective transition since the pandemic began. Transitions like entering a new job, building a business, changing careers, moving locations, ending bad habits and starting good ones… For many, the pandemic was the final straw that broke the camel’s back. We all started to look inward at our lives and make changes for the better.

a reminder to us all that life is fragile. For me, it has reinforced being a woman of clear pur-pose and how powerful purpose transforms… How could I make a bigger impact? Do more with the time that I have?

the world that have made significant accomplishments in their lives and have gone through their own adversities but have made it through those challenges and made positive impacts through their work.

I had conversations with entrepreneurs,

In the last year and a half, I matriculated into a two year grad program and then boldly graduat-ed with my MBA in one year, while working full time and growing my podcast. Talk about transitions…

“The Great Resignation” and “remote or hybrid” work are popular buzz words. Proud to be among this group seeking better opportunities as I started a new job as a Regional Director of Advancement for a University. I love the work I get to do! My passion for fundraising has aligned with my personal mission as well as introduced me to the most amazing individuals and organizations that impacted lives. I am also the Founder of Voices For Impact, the podcast. Last year, I created a podcast to help people thrive by creating content that encourages a growth mindset and reimagines how people can find their purpose. At that time, I did not consciously realize that I was building meaning into my life along with building a platform. I was being redirected to a new purpose while helping others find theirs. I have always maintained a personal mission and every decision I have made in my professional and personal life has aligned with that but I was searching for something deeper. The pandemic is

I recently came across this quote: “Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties… out of your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something.” - John Gardner

artists, educators, athletes and changemakers about how they found their purpose and what gives them meaning. Voices For Impact turned into a platform that gives people tips on overcoming challenges and keeping a positive mindset by sharing real stories of leaders in our local community and from around

Isn’t that the truth? “Meaning is something you build into your life.” A common mentality that is expressed in almost every Voices For Impact episode is bravery and going after what you want in life without fear of failure. Enjoy the process, enjoy the journey, and while building on your goals, entering a new chapter, starting a new job — you are building meaning.

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{{ VOICES FOR IMPACT SHIFT+CONTROL } } “Emotion is not a weakness, but an absolute strength. The most empowering thing you can do is speak your heart’s desire and say what is on your mind.”

You may believe in karma, you may believe in God’s plan, you may believe in the scientific laws of nature. Know this as you are going through life’s changes — Today’s low point sets us up for tomorrow’s high. “He who has why to live, can bear with almost any how”. - Viktor Frankel I hope you feel motivated to take on the day after reading this article and for more daily inspiration listen to Voices For Impact on Apple, Spotify, and iHeart Radio podcast platforms. Subscribe and stay connected on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and LinkedIn @ VoicesForImpact. 128

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DID YOU KNOW? Podcasts are really effective at selling, spreading awareness, and building good reputations for companies. It’s an intimate medium where listeners develop real relation-ships with hosts, so when hosts recommend products in their own voices, audiences are more likely to try their product. Voices For Impact has attractive demographics for advertisers, with listeners that are more of an affluent, educated consumer than average, according to Edison Research. My current list of sponsors include Always Chasing Better Coaching, Kefi Market-ing, EmPowered Nutrition, among others.

Email voices4impactcuse@gmail.com if you would like to get your message out to a new audience by sponsoring an episode or sharing your story to help encourage people to find their passion and purpose. Danielle Mensing, MBA currently resides in Syracuse NY and works as Regional Director of Advancement at a University. In addition, she volunteers for several organizations in the community, is a Board Member for Skaneateles Festival and Association for Fundraising Professionals. She is also a Central New York Business Journal’s 40 Under Forty honoree.


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ARE ENOUGH. THEYOU EXPERIENCE HAD ME BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO BY OMENESA ORUMA AKOMOLAFE

Since I returned from the hospital from Kidney Failure, I have become a different person. Not so far out(because I try daily to become a better version of myself), but a lot better of a person, in terms of my eating and self-care habits. I have been on sick leave for a week now. I finally went to work last night and I could notice that I didn’t only have an experience of being sick,, but the experience had me. Being in the hospital, sick as a dog, throwing up for days, fear and trepidation of if I was going to make it all not, being a patient. .....all of that had me. I am usually a fast-paced person. I do everything in a hurry and I surprisingly have almost perfect results. I say almost because I guess that small percentage of imperfection is coming from being fast-paced 😆, but I do a good job and present satisfactory results at the end. Nevertheless, being at work last night, I noticed I was slower in walking. I was calmer in talking. I was more empathic towards my patients(Because I was recently a patient). I was more calculated in using my body mechanics. I was careful of not bending but rather kneeling. Not only that, but I was intentional in how I used my arms to hold my patient while robbing lotion on their back or helping them with positioning. I did it lovingly, so I wouldn’t bear pain in my arm or cause pain to them. I was good to myself. I was thinking about my body and kidneys. I was treating them nicely by not sprinting everywhere, but walking carefully. I kept 130

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in mind that my kidneys are healing, and so with care, I’ve been carrying myself. I did everything gracefully, from changing my patient’s diapers, to going an extra mile in getting a straw for a patient who asked for it, but I knew he didn’t need it. I did everything I have always done, but differently. With compassion and grace. The experience or sickness went through me. It made me a better person. I was a

patient and could now understand some needs and demands of my patients. I could see how I wanted to be treated by my Nurses and Doctors. I could understand their pain and their incessant need to use the call bell. I, too, pressed that bell like a maniac when I was in the hospital. I can suddenly relate. I have also noticed that I eat differently, and I now keep water by my bed side. I drink a lot of fluids, and for

every drink I drink other than water, I drink a glass of water to match it. I envision washing my kidneys with love. I envision keeping my body hydrated. I also speak to my kidneys daily. I thank them for being there for me. I thank every part of my body for functioning properly, and I decree and declare that they will be healthy. As I treat them with respect, they too will treat me with respect. This is a powerful routine I have begun. Words of affirmations. Body scanning. Very refreshing and liberating. There are so many changes that have occurred in my life lately, in just under a week. From calling people I haven’t heard from in years, to guarding my peace and not having unnecessary conversations pr confrontations. All these new pacts came from the threat of losing my life, and now that God gave me a miracle, I intend to stay alive. That’s going to happen by not only prayer, but by action. I will need to play a role in my longevity. Not only have I become a better Caregiver to my patients, I have become a better Caregiver to myself. I remember when my mother was dealing with breast cancer. I swore I would never have anything to do with the medical profession. My father looked at me and said, “You will do very well”. The moment I became a Certified Nursing Assistant, I understood what he meant. Now that I have fought for my life as a patient, I understand more. Sometimes we experience situations, and in return, situations experience us.


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Assisting Clients with their P Busines 200 Canal View Blvd, Suite 102 Rochester, NY 14623 W W W . B L A K E T


Purchase, Sale, Refinance, and ss needs. Phone: 585-299-4240 Fax: 585-299-4209 W E B B E R . C O M


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YOU ARE ENOUGH. “RECONNECTION” BYAMANDA NICOLE HEROUX PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO BY ASHLEY WILLIAMS I PHOTOSI BY BEAU RYAN (BEAUYEAH.COM)

2013 I took a journey that changed the course of my life. I was twenty seven years old, and in need of serious soul searching. My domestic life, and my desire to wholeheartedly pursue my passion were clashing; and the angel and devil rested upon each shoulder were at war. Life felt heavy, and my soul felt empty. I was torn between who I was, what I was becoming, and who I wanted to be. Through a kickstarter campaign I was funded enough money to support my first D.I.Y tour with Nashville being the main destination. In twenty one days, I performed fourteen shows that spanned from Washington DC, Virginia Beach, South Carolina, Atlanta, Alabama, Tennessee, Ohio and New York. From destination to destination in my tiny Honda Fit I traveled, alone, with a car full of equipment, two cases of sponsored Vodka, a case of water, and a damaged heart. My intention was to open a channel of musical connections that would bloom future opportunities. The freedom to explore new territory on my own terms without the compromise or persuasion of another felt empowering. I traveled and explored by day, played my shows in the evening, and followed the suggestions of the locals to take in the beauty, history, and flavor of every city I visited. That time by myself brought awareness as to what energy I have to contribute to the world, how 134

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fearless I can be, and what makes me feel most alive. Much like the story “Eat, Pray, Love” It was that very quest that led me to the clarity I soo desperately needed. I felt inspired, rejuvenated, ready for change and to reclaim my life. It was the first time I was able to admit aloud how unhappy I truly was in all the days leading up to that very trip.

the bar and struck conversation with the bartender as I ate my dinner. With him I shared my journey, and the rest of the shows, places, and plans I looked forward to carrying through. At the time, I had no place set in stone to stay in Nashville, and the man was kind enough to link me to a former employee and friend who had just recently left Memphis to begin her next chapter in Nashville. On the back of the receipt, he scribbled her name and number, and told me to call her at 4P that Sunday to arrange my stay, and So I did. Three days later, I arrived at her doorstep and my journey through Nashville began. I was greeted by three beautiful souls; two girls and one guy, who graciously took me in as a complete stranger, and allowed me to crash on their couch for seven days.

My transition began the moment my feet hit Memphis, TN. I arrived in the late afternoon, just a few hours prior to my first performance at a venue called Jack Magoos. I parked my car and set my feet ten off of Beale for the first time as an adult and musician. There was a band playing in W.C Handy Park, and the street was alive with flashing colorful lights, people actively bustling their way from venue to venue up and down the strip. After performing my first show, I sat at

That week I played through my shows, busked on the streets, and made a wealth of connections. It was the first time in a long while that I felt a sense of belonging. Midway through what was supposed to be my last day in Nashville my phone had been stolen at an afternoon show that I was performing at, downtown at the National Underground on Broadway. I panicked. Everything I had recorded throughout my journey, my GPS, my contacts, bank information, etc was LOST in the hands of another, and to top it all off, the following day I was


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{ AFTERNOON COCKTAIL } { SHIFT+CONTROL } “To connect on a human level with yourself is SOO essential. From our former selves we can grow, and choose to discard whichever pieces no longer fit our frame.”

scheduled to perform at a venue in Indianapolis. My new friends who were there to support me at my performance consoled me as they witnessed my emotional meltdown. It was in that moment that everything came to a head. I was vulnerable, I was angry, I was worried, and my husband at home wouldn’t even pick up the phone out of spite. My life felt like a complete sham and I hated myself. Don’t worry though, there is a happy ending. In order to see things differently, we need to see different things. What I saw that day was a small group of compassionate people pulling together for someone they didn’t know for more than a week. An old phone with a GPS was given to me, and that evening we cooked dinner, went for a walk in Centennial Park, and went back to the house to throw back a little moonshine as we poorly salsa danced in the kitchen, and filled the house with laughter. I never made it to my show in Indianapolis the next day. I did, however, end up extending my stay and became a temporary fourth housemate for three extra nights. If it weren’t for that tragic moment, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to foster what has become one of my most treasured friendships. If it weren’t for that bartender in Memphis, I never would’ve arrived at his doorstep. Within a year of that trip I found myself back in Nashville, this time having had left my husband and feeling out whether or not making a permanent move would 136

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be right for me. Six months later I toured my way through again, and I continued to visit every six months consistently up until the birth of my child. ************************************* ******************* Fast forward 8 years to now; I sit here writing at the airport after just having spent eight days retracing my old tracks in Memphis and Nashville with my sister to commemorate her 50th birthday. It’s been nearly a decade since we’ve last traveled together alone, and the first time that I’ve been apart from my son and partner for more than just a couple of nights. This was also our first trip since the Global Pandemic.

together we shared a beverage before hauling an UBER to take us to the heart of downtown Nashville. Exhilarated, and eager to show her around, we hopped from music venue to music venue, reunited and prepared to take on the city.

Those combined components made it an interesting and enlightening journey. For the first time in five years I was able to let loose; no curfews or babysitters to have to rush home to, temporarily relieved of all work obligations and domestic duties. It was an opportunity to revisit my former self, pre-covid and before motherhood.

NEVER in a million years did I imagine that the very following day that opportunity would come knocking.

Together we bounced around both cities, explored and absorbed as much of the Southern history and culture as we could take in. It felt invigorating, and it once again reminded me of who I was, and more importantly, who I still am at my core. Connection and reconnection were the main themes that rang in my head throughout our entire journey. Late Tuesday evening my sister arrived at the home of my treasured friend whom I previously mentioned. In our rental car she pulled into the driveway, and

Throughout one of our many conversations, I expressed my gratitude for the connection that bartender in Memphis had made between myself and my friend. I never did see that man again, nor did I recall his name, but expressed how I soo badly wished I could see him face to face again one day to thank him for the positive impact his kind gesture had on my life.

With heads throbbing, we hit the road the following morning and drove two hundred miles to Memphis. After settling into our AirBNB, we made our way towards Beale Street to dine. A Memphis native overheard us indecisively chatting along the way as to what we wanted to coat our stomachs with, and recommended that we go try Blues City Cafe for some Southern BBQ. So we did. When we arrived we were seated by the host, and were eventually greeted by our server, who was also the bartender. He told us his name, and that he’d be right back with our drink order. His voice and his energy were all too familiar.


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AFTERNOON COCKTAIL COCKTAIL }} {{ AFTERNOON “ What does matter, is that I had the opportunity to actually look that man in the eyes and tell him that what he did made a difference, that he mattered, and that his impact had been felt.”

I looked at my sister, and I said “I think that’s him. THAT’S the guy!!” When he returned I asked him, “Hey, this might sound strange but…..any chance you worked at a place called Jack Magoos about eight years ago and had a friend named ____ that used to work at the same place who moved to Nashville?”

to actually look that man in the eyes and tell him that what he did made a difference, that he mattered, and that his impact had been felt. It was an incredibly powerful moment, and one of the highlights of my trip.

When he replied “Yes” I swear my jar dropped and tears filled my eyes. I briefed him about the story to which he could only somewhat recall.

The irony of life. RECONNECTION in its finest hour.

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Even despite all the personal work I’ve done in the past year, the work I’ve done to maintain balance within my personal and professional life, the struggle is STILL ongoing. As women we often try to be everything for everyone and put ourselves last. Whether you getaway overnight to some place an hour away, or take a week-long trip to some place far away; make it a priority for your well being to give yourself a break and to set aside some time to reconnect with yourself and what truly makes you feel happy to be you.

I then looked at him and said, “ I’ve long wished for this moment to have the opportunity to THANK YOU, and here you are standing right before me. What you did that day made such a difference in my life, and I am soo grateful for having met you that day.”

Whether or not he remembered me doesn’t matter. From what I’ve gathered from our second encounter is that his act of kindness wasn’t something out of the ordinary. What he had done for me, I’m sure he has done, or would’ve done for anyone else. He was just being him. What does matter, is that I had the opportunity

and exhilarated. Most importantly, never underestimate the power of impact. Just one, small kind gesture can impact someone’s life in ways you’ve never imagined.

Be good to yourself, and don’t lose sight of your happiness. We have one life to live, and it is up to you to live it the best way you know how. To connect on a human level with yourself is SOO essential. From our former selves we can grow, and choose to discard whichever pieces no longer fit our frame. However, don’t lose your grip on those mainstays that make you feel alive, validated, happy,



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Corrin Stellakis FIT TO REIGN

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CORRIN YOU ARE STELLAKIS ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO PHOTOS BY LAURA MARINO

Tell us about yourself, and your background. When and how did you get into pageants? My name is Corrin Stellakis and I am the owner of Fit to Reign, a business dedicated to empowering women. Fit to Reign is located in North Syracuse, NY, but I also coach women from all over the country virtually. My pageant career started at a local level with the Miss Jr. Oz pageant. I was 14 years old when I won the title of Miss Jr. Oz and that experience inspired me to continue in pageantry. In 2014 I competed in my first large pageant, Miss New York Teen USA. I won this title at the age of 16 and it completely transformed my life. As a girl who grew up on a horse farm in central NY, I was thrown into the world of beauty, modeling, and pageantry. I found a passion for it and have competed ever since.

in Communication, Psychology, and Christian Counseling from Liberty University and I am a certified personal trainer. Fit to Reign services includes pageant coaching, personal training and programming, self-development coaching, model coaching, interview, and public speaking preparation, and makeup artistry.

What was it like hearing your name called as winner for your first pageant title? I felt surprised, humbled, overwhelmed, blessed, and full of joy! It was such an exciting moment!

What makes you hustle? The desire to improve myself and help others discover their purpose and pursue their passions. Tell us about your business “Fit to Reign”. How did it start? What is the mission behind it? Fit to Reign was developed in 2016 to help women become mentally, intellectually, socially, spiritually, physically, and emotionally fit! My goal is to empower women from all walks of life to become the best possible versions of themselves. I have a degree 146

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What does the word empowerment mean to you? Empowerment means emboldening others, motivating them, and helping them to believe in their ability to make an impact! When I empower women I instill confidence in them and inspire them to declare victory over their lives!

What did you choose for your platform for Miss US International and why? My platform is Fit to Reign. I am dedicated to inspiring and motivating other women to rise above. Miss USI’s motto is “cheer all women!”

What do you feel are your greatest strengths? What about some of your weaknesses? I would say that some of my greatest strengths are communicating, living in faith, prioritizing what is most important, and staying organized. I love socializing and I enjoy deep conversation. I love to talk, but I also love to listen. I have learned how to trust God with everything that goes on in my life. A strength of mine is letting go and letting God! I believe that if you prioritize what is most important, that you will find that you have an abundance of time for other things that tend to come up. Lastly, I am good at keeping order in my life. I arrange my schedule and I plan ahead so that I can maximize my time. I am always on time if not early to my events.


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“Empowerment means emboldening others, motivating them, and helping them to believe in their ability to make an impact! When I empower women I instill confidence in them and inspire them to declare victory over their lives! ”


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{{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS }} SHIFT+CONTROL “My clients always inspire me! Their dedication, commitment, and hard work push me to be a better coach.”

My weaknesses you ask?… Cannolis, Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, and Kit Kats ;) What do you to hope accomplish during your reign? I hope to travel to as many places and attend as many events as possible! I want to make the most out of this year and impact lives by instilling confidence in everyone I meet and empowering individuals to reach their destiny! I hope to be a voice for many in need, and create more awareness on the Miss International pageant system, and what opportunities it presents to women. What do you take away from your pageant experience each time you compete? I learn more about myself every time I compete in a pageant and I gain wonderful, lasting friendships after each pageant experience. I have met most of my closest friends through pageantry. Who are some of the people that empower and inspire you and why? Priscilla Shirer is a huge inspiration to me! She is a strong, bold, knowledgeable woman of faith that leads others into a close relationship with the Lord. She makes God her first priority and because of that experiences great blessings! She has inspired me to lead my own women’s Bible study on Monday nights! I love getting together with a group of women who want to grow closer to their Lord and Savior. My clients always inspire me! Their

dedication, commitment, and hard work push me to be a better coach. I love their passion for their platforms and their heart for the organizations they represent. I am honored to work with such amazing, empowered women from all over the county. “What is your ‘why? ‘” Why do you compete? Why did you create Fit To Reign? I compete to challenge myself and develop myself. I compete for the opportunities pageantry offers and the friendships I can create through the process. I compete to network and gain connections with people from all walks of life. I created Fit to Reign because of my love for pageantry and what it does for women. I wanted to encourage all young girls and women in the pageant world, and give them the tools they need to succeed. I created Fit to Reign because I wanted to help women reach their fitness goals, and feel confident in their own skin. I created Fit to Reign because I wanted to spread the message that we are Queens because we are daughters of the One True King, Jesus Christ. How did working through the pandemic change you for the better or worse? How did you get creative? How did it affect your reigning status? The pandemic took a toll on all small businesses and mine was no different. I took the extra time that I had while I was not working with clients and I stayed productive. I worked on my personal development so that when the world started running again, I would have more to offer my clients!

Fortunately, while the gyms were closed down, I was still able to work out in my fitness studio throughout the pandemic so I did not skip a beat! I also had more time to connect with people over social media and post often. I helped people with at-home workout programs, and I transferred most of my in-person clients to virtual sessions. The pandemic was a challenge, to say the least, but when you are Fit to Reign, you keep striving toward your goals and you make things happen! What role do you think social media plays for you personally and professionally and what is your favorite platform? Social media plays a huge role in my business’ success! I connect with women from all different pageant systems, all across the country via social media. I have a much larger outreach thanks to social media platforms. Most of my clients I have never met in person. Social media makes it possible to get to know my clients and what their needs are without ever seeing them in person, face to face! Social media helps me spread my message and share what Fit to Reign is all about. It also allows me to stay connected to members of my Fit to Reign family and stay updated on all of the fun, and exciting things happening in their lives. Instagram is my absolute favorite platform because of its versatility and easy use. Name one special moment during your career that has stood out to you. The moment I was announced as Miss Earth USA in 2016 will always be a ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS}} SHIFT+CONTROL “I learn more about myself every time I compete in a pageant and I gain wonderful, lasting friendships after each pageant experience. I have met most of my closest friends through pageantry.”

highlight in my pageant career. As I hugged my runner up, the clasps on my gown broke open! The hook and eyes went flying! I caught my dress and saved myself from exposure. Women from backstage and other contestants rushed to help me, but there was no saving it. The sash was at first placed on the wrong shoulder, and the crown did not fit! Thinking her crown was smaller, my predecessor generously took her own crown off of her head and tried placing it on mine. Proving to the world that the crown was not too large, but rather my head was too small, the crown fell over my head and onto my neck. Flowers in hand, holding my dress and crown up, I celebrated my moment, and was overwhelmed with excitement! This moment has become a YouTube sensation with nearly 16 million views! It was a beautiful disaster, a moment I will never forget! What’s the biggest factor that has helped you be successful both in and out of the pageant world? Being well-rounded and grounded. I work on my strengths as well as my weaknesses. I am always growing and learning. I aim to be relatable and authentic in everything that I do. What do you have planned for the next 152

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year? What about five years from now? Over the next year, I will be preparing for Miss International 2022! Next November I will be competing for 3 weeks in Japan representing the United States of America. I will be spending

My goal is always to reach more and more women in the pageant industry and help them become Fit to Reign. I am currently working on writing my first devotional/Bible Study book for women! I hope to have that published in the next 5 years. I may also further my education through Liberty University’s online programs. What was the hardest decision you ever had to make? Taking a leap of faith, becoming an entrepreneur, and opening my business Fit to Reign at the age of 19! It was a huge investment of time, energy, and money, but it was all worth it! I love what I do so I never have to work a day in my life. What motivates you? Embracing my full potential motivates me to work harder, invest in myself and my business.

this next year traveling and attending as many events as possible to represent the USI pageant organization. Five years from now I will still be competing in pageantry and expanding my business.

What’s the most important discovery you’ve made about yourself in the past years during your pageant journey? You are only ever competing against who you were yesterday! There is always room for improvement. Keep setting the bar high! Prepare like you have never won, and perform like you have never lost!


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DEBBIE BERNACKI PHOTOS BY JULIE OLDFIELD

Tell our audience about who you are, where you came from, and what your background ? I am a passionate entrepreneur and advocate , driven to be a life-long learner and always challenge myself to achieve and help others. I come from a very close family, growing up in in Greece, NY in an Italian household with 3 siblings. As I grew up, I was drawn to anything that challenged myself, whether that was running for student council, trying out for sports, or taking advanced classes. My parents modeled nurturing behaviors, which is something that I brought forward in the parenting of my own four children. I am a proud mother of four children: Christian (27), Lauren (26), Andrew (19) and Elliot (18). Throughout my life, I always put my children first. As they grew up, they witnessed and participated in the establishment and growth on my companies. They encouraged me to achieve, and always celebrated my successes with me. My interest in the healthcare field was grounded within me when I volunteered in a hospital when I was 15 years old as a candy striper. I am the first woman in my family to go to college since they immigrated here two generations ago. My heritage is the majority Italian, but also Spanish and Egyptian. In our

family, years ago, women were expected to stay home and raise the family. I hit a turning point when I was a sophomore in high school and my mother asked me to do some research on the school computer to help my older brother determine what career he should pursue. While doing research for him, I decided I also wanted to get an education and pursue a career. 4 college degrees later, I am happy that I advocated for myself

at that time. The majority of my nursing career in the hospital was as an emergency department nurse, working in the fastpaced world of acute and trauma care. I was the Director of Nursing for a local licensed home care agency, and a Vice President at the Jewish Home of Rochester. However, the entrepreneurial drive has always been within me and am one of the Simon Graduate School of Business at the University of Rochester

business simulation contest winners, and the Up and Coming Businesswoman of the Year. What makes you hustle? When someone tells me I can’t, I say, “watch me”. The drive comes from within me, always wanting to keep moving upward in every aspect of my life. I’ve had many setbacks in life, including divorces, abuse, failures in loyalty from family and close “friends”, but never will succumb to being a “victim”. Instead, those moments have fueled my drive. I believe that God put those barriers in my life to build the person that I am today and am thankful for all of those challenges. I get great joy in looking back and seeing the what I have built, and how that will help others. What made you decide to start your business happier at home and what is the mission behind it? I had wanted to start an in-home care agency, but it was always on the back burner. It was my own family experience caring for my mother that affirmed my need to improve upon in home care. In 2007 my mother, Angela Marcello, was diagnosed with glioblastoma, brain cancer, at age 64. During her illness, my family and I tried to provide the daily care for her that was necessary to keep her at home. Being on the ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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SHIFT+CONTROL {{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS}} “When someone tells me I can’t, I say, “watch me”. The drive comes from within me, always wanting to keep moving upward in every aspect of my life.”

consumer side of things, I experienced how confusing and frustrating it could be to navigate home healthcare. With the care that my mother had, we were faced with a different caregiver each day, disrespectful behaviors, and caregivers that didn’t seem like they wanted to be there. I knew the delivery of home care could be improved upon, and also felt a need to make a difference in the lives of others that were going through the same challenges we went through. I decided to start Happier At Home and told my mother that I was going to do this before she died. I have become an advocate for our most vulnerable in the community, and the good that came from my mother’s death is that she has had a positive impact in the lives of those that are in similar situations to hers and their family members. Our mission is to improve the lives of individuals in need of home care and help them remain home and independent for as long as possible. What are some of the things you find help you to be a successful business owner and in now creating a franchise? Part of what has helped me to succeed in any business that I have started is that I don’t recognize or acknowledge “barriers”. Whether that has been not having as much startup money as I was told I should have, not having background knowledge of how to start a franchise system, or not knowing the processes that others have used to become a franchisor. Instead, I jumped in with both feet, prayed educated myself and surrounded myself with excellent professionals that believed in me.

If you could interview one of your mentors who would it be and what would you ask them? I have a mentor, who is the founder and COO of Painting With a Twist, Nancy Bigley. She has been a great support in the development of my franchisor system. However, if I could interview the most important mentor of my life, it would be my mother. The business decisions seem to be much easier for me in comparison to how to handle day to day relationships and situations. When I have a dilemma, I pray to my mother, and always think about what her advice to me would be. Have you found social media to help or hinder you in promoting your business especially during the pandemic? I have found social media to be essential in promoting my businesses, both the local corporate location of Happier At Home and the national franchisor of Happier At Home. This has been especially true during the pandemic.

year, especially while expanding, and how have you overcome them? Challenges that I have faced this year include limitations in those willing to go back to work. This has affected my local company, as well as nationally, and all our competitors. I have combated this with specific recruitment boot camp trainings created by Happier At Home’s Vice President of Training and Field Operations, Marie Rodriguez. She has created programs that she steps our franchisees through, in which they are held accountable for completing. This helps them with recruiting and hiring and has shown to be successful with a pilot with our franchisee in Alabama. What motivates you and keeps you moving forward ? I love to keep moving onward and upward. I enjoy business, so really love to set goals, and work toward those goals. Additionally, I think I am afraid to fail so am sure to keep driving forward.

How did you come about doing television segments? I began appearing on Fox News, Good Day Rochester about 8 years ago. At that time the executive producer talked with me about Happier At Home and my background. He realized that the senior population is growing and that healthcare, especially home care is an unknown in so many ways for the community. I began monthly appearances as the Nurse Expert, and now am on weekly educating the public on caregiving and any issues involving seniors.

Where do you see yourself personally and professionally in the next 3-5 years? The two seem to be closely tied together for me. As the franchisor Happier At Home grows nationally, I see myself adding senior executives to support in the development and growth of the company to continue to expand nationally. As I add the support for this growth, I will continue to be the vision for the company, but also be able to step back a bit to enjoy my family and friends. I value taking care of myself and work out 6 days a week and will continue to do so.

What challenges have you faced this

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{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS} } SHIFT+CONTROL “I have found social media to be essential in promoting my businesses, both the local corporate location of Happier At Home and the national franchisor of Happier At Home. This has been especially true during the pandemic.”

and different from others? In the Rochester area, the fact that this local company has now been established nationally, that is a unique aspect of Happier At Home and me as a businesswoman. Many of the big players in the area in companion care are franchises themselves, whereas Happier At Home was started right here in Rochester, NY! In addition to providing in-home care, we also provide care advocacy, medication management solutions and virtual visits. This is a unique busines model. What are some of the pros and cons of being a female entrepreneur, especially in dealing with the elderly or ill and their families? I have never accepted or fell victim to the differences in the way I may be treated as a female CEO and entrepreneur. As I have worked with boards greatly made up of men, male executives and colleagues, I behave in the same intelligent and professional that I always have prided myself as being. The benefit of me being the business owner, is that I am in charge of my fate. I am not the subject of others’ decisions to promote me to a better position, I am only limited by myself. Being a woman in an industry dealing with the elderly, the ill, and their families is also a benefit because people perceive you as caring perhaps more so than a male. I cannot think of a con to being a female entrepreneur! Do you have any helpful advice to someone interested in starting their own business/franchise? My advice to anyone starting a business would be to try to create something 166

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unique, in a field that you have a passion for, that solves someone’s problems. Become the expert in that field and immerse yourself in it. Becoming a franchisee is a great option, as the business model is established and proven. As a franchisee, you have a blueprint of a business that will allow you to start the business hitting the ground running. Support is provided for training and continues throughout the term of your franchise. If you needed to start it all over again tomorrow and you had just one thing to change, add or subtract, what would it be ? If I were to change one thing it would be to not hesitate to start Happier At Home. I would have started the business and also the franchisor system earlier in my lifetime. Did you always know you wanted to be in this field and help others? I have always been a caring person, and always have looked for ways to build something for myself. As an example, at about the age of 11, I started a paper route and was responsible for the collections, and management of the customers. I’ve always had the characteristics of a nurse and an entrepreneur but just didn’t know how those things would culminate to a career or business in my life. Tell us about one moment in your life that has had a lasting impression on you and formed who you are today. I was married very young and was the “victim” of mental and emotional abuse. This was a foreign thing to me. My parents had a beautiful, loving

relationship and I only expected the same for my marriage. Perhaps it was naivety, or perhaps it was my resistance to giving up on my marriage, but I stayed with him for 7 years, while attending Alternatives for Battered Women meetings and marriage counseling, all the while enduring a day in and day out emotional rollercoaster. Friends and family were concerned about my well-being, to which my answer was that “we are working on it.” All at once it hit me, if I stay, he won’t change, and my children will learn this is normal behavior. It has greatly affected who I am today, as I built up incredible strength and assertiveness to leave him. I believe that this strength and assertiveness has attributed to my successes in life. Tell our audience one thing about yourself that not many others know. Not many people know that I was once certified in asbestos abatement.  How do you balance work and life responsibilities, being a female leader? When my children were young, I involved them in the work that I did. I talked with them about the business I was building, what I was doing each day in the business to build it, and even when I had setbacks. I did not want to sacrifice my children for my business, but also knew it was essential that I succeeded in order to remain in the home we were in after my divorce. I taught my children the life lessons that I was learning, as I was learning them. They are my biggest fans and always celebrate my successes with me. Often times I worked late at night after I put the kids to bed, but never missed sports games or school


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{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS} } SHIFT+CONTROL “I am a passionate entrepreneur and advocate , driven to be a life-long learner and always challenge myself to achieve and help others.”

events. Each day we sat down and had dinner together, and prayed before we ate, thanking God for our meal and asking Him for strength and guidance to accomplish what He wants of us. What goes through your mind when you think of women who have done this before you? What would you do the same or differently. When I think of women that have done this before me, I feel connected with them and feel I understand there is something special in them. Part of what has caused them to succeed may be luck, but by far, if they did 170

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not work diligently and have the drive within them, they would not have succeeded. I would also push through and focus on the goal to achieve to get where I want to be! What is your favorite part of your business and why? My favorite part of the business is the independence that it provides. I am able to have flexibility in my schedule for the most part, which allows me to participate in family functions and work remotely most of the time. What was your main goal in starting

Happier at Home? My main goal in starting Happier At Home was to actually be an entrepreneur and work for myself. Helping patients and family members so they didn’t have to go through what my mother and my family went through during her illness is the way that I was able to accomplish this. Where do you plan on going with Happier at Home? What is your ultimate goal? My ultimate goal is to growing Happier At Home across the nation, in every state and then abroad. --


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I


am always here for you! 585.755.5775 Contact me today! cell:

Your Neighbor ∙ Your Friend ∙ Your Realtor 33 S Main St ∙ Pittsford, NY 14534


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TIFFANY AMALFI-SPECK PHOTOS BY MELISSA DANKO & EDITING BY LUCABEAR AND FRIENDS PET PHOTOGRAPHY

Tell our readers a little bit about yourself and your background. Who is Tiffany Amalfi Speck? Tiffany Amalfi-Speck- If I had to describe myself, I would say that I am a little bit nice and a little bit of spice all wrapped up in a not-so-big package! I was born and raised in Rochester, NY. I attended Syracuse University and obtained my Bachelor of Science in Psychology. I then moved to Philadelphia and received my Master’s Degree in Social Work at the University of Pennsylvania. I married the most incredible man, Dave Speck, in September 2020. We jetted off to Nevada to elope in the Valley of Fire State Park. We have four rescue dogs- Lucius, 10, Maximus, 7, Lucabear, 14 and our newest addition Bo, 7. I grew up in a close knit Italian family. As the eldest of three children, I quickly learned to lead and to speak my mind. My parents and grandparents have always been very supportive of my choices and journey thus far. My nieces and nephews are an integral part of my life and I enjoy every second watching them grow into little perfect humans. I have an incredible group of friends and coworkers. My full time job is at BioMarin Pharmaceutical where I am a Field Based Clinical Coordinator supporting patients with a rare disease, phenylketonuria. Prior to that, I was a Pediatric Social Worker at the University of Rochester Medical Center for ten years. My passion is animal rescue and I recently started Lucabear and Friend’s Pet Photography in April of 2021.

How did you create Lucabear Photography? Lucabear, formerly Luca, is a gorgeous husky mix that I volunteered to transport (my first rescue transport) through Brindle Posse Rescue, Inc on October 26, 2020. We had lost our husky, Lima, just a few months before. Lee was also a Brindle Posse pup. Luca was living on a porch in Jamestown year around. He was incredibly overweight, has COPD

and most likely, Cushing’s Disease. We knew our time with him would be limited so I started to bring him to different events to be photographed and frankly, I just didn’t love how they were turning out. My parents had surprised me with a professional camera for my birthday a few years back as photography had always been a passion and hobby for me. I decided that I would start to

take Lucabear’s pictures myself and if I could do it for him, I could do it for other animals in need of a home. Rescue is something that I fiercely believe in and I had seen too many animals be overlooked because their photos were not getting enough attention. That was it! I started Lucabear and Friend’s Pet Photography and decided to photograph those in need of a furever home at no cost to anyone- the rescues, the foster parents, the shelters or boarding facilities. There are no strings attached. I simply take the photos, edit them and send them back to be used as needed. It is one of the best decisions that I have ever made in my life. I also offer private sessions at a very reasonable price because I want to give back to those that gave their cherished pets a home. Photographs are special to me and I believe they have the power to change lives and capture a memory forever. What makes you hustle and empowers you in your career? I have always had this innate gift to move. I rarely sit still. My patients empower me to do better, to help them with their challenges, their frustrations, their journey. Rare disease is challenging and many of my patients have cognitive impairments due to their disease. To see them flourish keeps me going; it always has. I have been a ball of energy since I can remember. I begged my parents to let me get a job as soon as I turned 14yo. They always said “Once you start working, you will never stop, just enjoy it”. I didn’t listen. My first job was as a hair salon secretary. I would walk there ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS} } SHIFT+CONTROL “I decided that I would start to take Lucabear’s pictures myself and if I could do it for him, I could do it for other animals in need of a home.”

after school. I made $5 per hour and I loved every second of it. How do you balance work and life responsibilities, especially when you have a full time job, your own business, a family and are rescuing dogs? Balance has always been something that I have struggled with. I am a “yes” girl. If there is a patient that needs to be seen in person, I am there. If there is an animal that needs photos to find a home, I am there. If one of my boys needs to go to the vet or just needs an extra snug, I am there. My husband is the one that actually keeps me grounded. He reminds me when I need to breathe, when I need to take a break and when I need a day to just be. I am also big into health and fitness so my “me time” is at the gym or walking my dogs. I pop in my airpods, throw on some Taylor Swift and take it all in. Who inspires you to live your best life? As mentioned before, I come from a big Italian family. I was, and still am, incredibly close with my grandmothers Alice Vinci and Carol Amalfi. We lost my nana Amalfi a few years back but I know she’s still cheering me on. I am very close with my parents. They have encouraged me to go to college, study abroad in Italy, travel, travel, travel. I’ve had incredible mentors, teachers, managers and friends throughout my time on this earth and I am lucky for that in so many ways. My husband is always telling me to “do you, babe”. I am supported by so many people and I can’t say how lucky I am for that. Tell us about your boys. How did they come about making him a part 180

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of your family. Lucius is and will always be my first. He was listed on Criagslist as a free lab/rottweiler puppy. He was only six weeks old. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing but he is my best first choice entering the rescue world ten years ago. Lu is incredibly smart and is more human than dog. He has been by my side, both literally and figuratively, since the day I got him. Maximus is my gorgeous amber-eyed hound-pit mix. He came from Jacksonville, NC at the age of about 2yo. He is very street smart and I guess he had to be after he was picked up as a homeless unclaimed stray. He is the biggest snuggler and our most fierce protector. Max is our cirus dog. He can jump 8ft into the air just to catch a ball! He is our most sensitive and most cautious of our four babies. Lucabear’s life started out extra rough. At the ripe age of 2yo, he was surrendered to the Jamestown Humane Society with a bullet in his shoulder. He had been shot and abandoned. He was adopted out and lived a good life for many years. About five years ago, one of his owners passed away and his other owner was ill and elderly. Luca was loved but could not be cared for like he needed. Since he “loved being outside”, that is where he was kept but he was fed, A LOT, because that is one thing that his remaining owner could do to show him love. We have had him for one year, though there were times we weren’t so sure he would make it due to his health and he has not slept outside for more than a nice cat nap in the grass since the day he got here. He is feisty, lives to be sang to and pet all over his head and face. Bo is a sad

story and one that I cannot dive into too deeply as authorities are still involved. He came from Upstate NY after his previous owners decided to rehome him as he needed “human connection”. Bo was living outside in a shed. He was severly emaciated and had unbelievable inexcusable infections in his ears, face, snout and eyes. He was neglected more severely than I have ever seen but he is doing great. He has gained 29lbs since we got him two months ago. All of his infections have cleared up, minus his ears. His ears are very bad to the point that he may need to have his ear canal removed due to persistent years of infection. He also has entropion so his eyelids are flipped under and are scratching his corneas. That repair is coming up in just a few weeks. He is the best dog. He listens so well and is incredible with other animals. Bo has complied an army behind him, Brindle Posse Rescue, Inc and his original loving mother as well as her family and (now my) friends as well as hundreds of supporters and for that, we are forever thankful! He is safe and loved and will remain that way until his time is up on this earth; as are all of our boys. Where do you see yourself a year from now? 3 years? 5 years? Honestly, I hope too much doesn’t change in the next few years. We have had a lot of change with the pandemic and our household composition. If anything, I would love to be the goto rescue photographer for rescues. If I were the first to come to mind for a rescue when they needed to find a home for an animal, that would make me incredibly happy.


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{{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS}} SHIFT+CONTROL “I am a “yes” girl. If there is a patient that needs to be seen in person, I am there. If there is an animal that needs photos to find a home, I am there.”

What made you decide to want to go on the journey to taking pet photos and working with Against All Oddz Animal Alliance? To be honest, I didn’t know about Against All Oddz Animal Alliance until Vanessa was placed there. I had reached out to them, as I did with many many rescues in the Rochester and Buffalo area just to introduce myself and Lucabear and Friend’s Pet Photography. To pure luck, Matt and Kim responded to me and graciously agreed to let me come out to the sanctuary to photograph a few of their dogs. That’s where it all began! What has been your biggest obstacle and your great success? I think many rescues probably think Lucabear and Friend’s Pet Photography is too good to be true. Afterall, how many things in life are actually free? As time goes on, I hope that word of mouth and ongoing social media posts prove that my services for all animals in need of a home are actually free of cost and that it is simply a passion of mine to help find furever homes. I would love to grow my business even more! To date, since launching just six months ago, I have photographed 46 animals, horses and cats included and 32 have been adopted! I’d like to think that my photos helped find them homes and I believe the odds are in my favor! What do you feel are some of your greatest strengths and assets? I love deeply and believe greatly in all things good. I have always tried to speak up when I see something wrong. I’m the type of person to quickly jump in and help anyone in need. Some may describe me as a bleeding heart social worker and for that, they would be

correct. Speaking up for those without a voice, the neglected, the mistreated, the unwanted; human and canine alike, has always been one of my biggest attributes. This is the main reason that I went into social work. There are simply just too many people (and animals) that need a support person, an advocate and a mentor to help get them onto the right path and that is simply my mission in life, in a nutshell. What motivates you to work hard? Success! I am a bit of a competitive person and I love to see people (and animals) succeed. Whether is is decreased phenylalanine levels or an animal find a furever home; it keeps me going. I strive to do right and to see others do well in their life. What is your proudest accomplishment? My most proud accomplishment is my family and of course, Lucabear and Friends. To see my boys flourish from neglect and abuse to healthy, happy, trusting, friendly beings makes me smile daily. My husband has a huge hand in this as he is my equal, my partner and he continues to give me the green light to bring home the toughest of cases. We are only five dogs in but I don’t see us stopping any time soon. What is one thing you have done that not many people know about you? I love to travel and so far, have been to nine countries and 35 states. I lived in Florence, Italy and took every opportunity to find my roots. I traveled to the church that my great grandmother was baptized in in Italy. I found my other great grandmother’s signature at Ellis Island. I have been to the Amalfi Coast three times and though I thought

it was pretty spectacular to see your last name on everything being sold and advertised, the people there did not seem to care what my surname was ha! What makes you laugh the most? My husband Dave makes me laugh the most. He is constantly cracking jokes and takes everything with ease. He’s the best thing I’ve chose in my life. Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? Sadly, it is probably my phone. Staying connected to my family, my friends and my coworkers in important to me. I like to be on the up-in-up with what’s going on in the world and of course, in my circle. It’s my way of staying connected to the rescue world- constantly sharing animals in need of a home and of course, offering to do shoots! Where will we see you in the future? I hope to continue on my current path. I hope to continue to support those with rare diseases. I hope to grow Lucabear and Friend’s Pet Photography to help more animals find their furever homes. I hope to welcome more rescues into our home with time. Four pets is a lot and I want to enjoy every second with them. When the time comes for them to cross the rainbow bridge, I can only hope that we are still in a position to open our homes and hearts to others in need of love because that is what every being deserves; a loving safe home where they are the priority and the focus. So for now, I will continue to do what I do best, advocate and do my best to help those less fortunate. It’s what I was put on this earth for and so far, it’s been an incredible journey! ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS }} SHIFT+CONTROL “. Bo has complied an army behind him, Brindle Posse Rescue, Inc and his original loving mother as well as her family and (now my) friends as well as hundreds of supporters and for that, we are forever thankful!”

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“ If I were the first to come to mind for a rescue when they needed to find a home for an animal, that would make me incredibly happy.”

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(585) 737-0340 I LUCABEA


ARANDFRIENDS@GMAIL.COM




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THE WOMEN’S FITNESS CONNECTION PHOTOS BY MURRAY YARAVITZ

Tell us a little about yourself and your new business. I am a retired teacher and cheerleading coach with the Greece Central School District. I both taught and coached for 30 years and had much success as both a teacher and coach. I started as a Physical Education major in college and then switched majors with a focus in science. My love for fitness has been lifelong. After retiring from teaching I began getting various fitness certifications and licenses and worked at Rochester Athletic Club for women for 9 years before it closed in 2020. This resulted in me teaching virtually and then starting my own fitness business.

believe that we make our own luck through hard work and dedication. I feel empowered because I refuse to back down from a challenge. I don’t look at some experiences I have had as failures. They have helped me to shape my decisions going forward from that point.

Where are you from? Tell us about where you grew up and your family. I was born in Greece, NY. I attended Greece schools and then had my entire career in Greece. I am the youngest of seven children. My dad was a supervisor in Emulsion Coating at Kodak and my mom was a homemaker. What makes you hustle and empowers you in your career? “Success breeds success.” I have always been driven to succeed and have found success in many areas of my personal and professional life. Because I have experienced many high points along the way, I have been able to handle those bumps that invariably pop up in life. I don’t believe in luck. I

What made you decide to open a fitness business and why did you name it theWomens Fitness Connection? When COVID hit, Rochester Athletic Club for Women had to close down temporarily. Some of us continued to stream classes for our members through Zoom or Facebook Live. As the date

for reopening kept getting pushed, the harder it was for the clubs to hold on and finally in August of 2020, the ownership made the tough decision to close permanently. Members reached out to me to find somewhere that I could teach classes. I then contacted a friend of mine who owns a dance studio and began renting space in October of 2020 to teach all women classes. I talked a few of my RAC instructor friends to teach some classes as well and TWFC was born. I became an LLC and we operated at that studio until we began to see an increase of women wanting to join. We moved to our own location on June 1, 2021. I named the business TWFC, because I wanted to have a place where women can connect with others of like mind who want to have the ability to work out in a clean, safe, no judgement environment. For me, at this time in my life, I am taking a leap of faith that women want a place to go and we are seeing that to be true. I am trying to build a community, riffing off of what RAC was able to do but with a much smaller budget on my own. Who inspires you to live your best life? My members inspire me everyday. Their energy and faith in our vision here at the studio keep me motivated to offer the ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{{{ SHE HUSTLES SHIFT+CONTROL SHE HUSTLES TALKS TALKS} }} “For me, at this time in my life, I am taking a leap of faith that women want a place to go and we are seeing that to be true.”

best possible experience for them. I am truly living the dream of owning my own business and contributing something to our community by offering a place to help women achieve their best life. What are some of the services you provide to your clients? What is your favorite one and why? We offer close to 30 fitness classes a week and starting soon we will be offering cycling classes as well. The fact that we can offer a variety of class options to get people motivated with outstanding instructors on board is my favorite thing. What has been your biggest obstacle and your great success in your career? My dad passed away on my 18th birthday, delaying my ability to start college right after high school. I needed to work for two years to put money away so that I could attend school. It took me seven years to be able to finish my degree, having to stop two years in to work again so that I could complete college. That taught me how important persistence is if you truly want to reach a goal. I have experienced many successes over my life in my careers. As a teacher, my successes were my

students’ successes. I was honored as the district Teacher of the Year in 2007 and was in Who’s Who of American Teachers 5 times. As a coach, my program was successful. My teams won 14 County titles,15 Sectional titles and two National titles along with over 50 local competition championships.

writer, publishing several articles. I was named Who’s Who in Cheerleading Coaches sponsored by American Cheerleader Magazine for 10 years. I was inducted into the Greece Olympia Sports Hall of Fame in 1998 and my program was inducted into the same Hall of Fame in September of 2019. I was given the Greece Athlete o f t h e Ye a r Lifetime Coaching Achievement Award in 2006. I became the New York State Cheerleading Judges Association President in 2016-present

I was named the National Cheerleading Coach of the Year in 1996 and spoke at conferences across the country. I was honored as a Section Coach of the Year 9 times. I was named to the American Cheerleader Magazine’s Board of Advisors and became a contributing

What do you feel are some of your greatest strengths and assets? I will not give up. I am extremely goal oriented and have the ability to visualize and carry out plans. I am a strong leader and work hard to relate to others. What motivates you to work hard? I am self motivated. I am motivated to reach a goal and when I reach the goal, it motivates me to reach another goal. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{{{ SHE HUSTLES SHE HUSTLES TALKS TALKS} }} SHIFT+CONTROL ““Success breeds success.” I have always been driven to succeed and have found success in many areas of my personal and professional life.”

What advice would you give to someone wanting to start their own business, especially in the health and wellness field? Be sure that you have a clear vision and a good business plan. Don’t be afraid to reach out for guidance. Starting a business is not for the feint of heart. You must be prepared to take risks, both financially and personally. You must know your demographic, audience and what your location can support. Doing your homework is key. Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without?

Chocolate What do you have planned for the future? My immediate plan is to establish this business solidly and see where we are in two years. If successful, perhaps expanding the business to either a larger facility or another location. Why did you select this particular location for your business? When I walked into the location, I immediately visualized what the space could be. It was bright, airy, and a perfect location with lots of traffic. There was a

Dunkin’ Donuts in the plaza. And while that seems odd to be excited about a donut joint near a fitness studio, I knew that lots of eyes would be on my place when DD customers came calling. It is a great gathering place for the members after class as well. Tell us one thing about yourself that noone else knows... I am actually an introvert who pushes myself to be an extrovert. I have suffered with anxiety since I was a child as a result.

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SHIFT+CONTROL { { SHE {HUSTLES SHE HUSTLES ENTREPRENHERS TALKS}} }} SHEHUSTLES ENTREPRENHERS

DARK MOON ESSCENTUALS Tell our audience a little about who you are, where you came from, and what your background is? My name is Aly Vanderlinde and I was born and raised right here in Rochester. I graduated high school and immediately started into the workforce right after graduation. I became a single mom in 2000 and 2007 to two amazing boys! I think all mom’s say that right? lol In 2010 I became unemployed and with 2 young boys I didn’t have a lot of options, so I took advantage of an Unemployment program and went to college at MCC. They cut the program I was on that allowed me to attend college without having to return to work while attending school, so I was unable to continue college and went back into the workforce. I was hired at URMC and worked there until 2020 and lockdown happened. What makes you hustle? Besides being a single mom, my Dad taught me that you always work-two or three jobs if you have to get the things you want. I have this drive inside me that needs to see my business and myself succeed. To show my sons that you don’t have to do what the rest of the world says you have to. That they can do what they want and as long as they handle their business they can succeed. What their vision of success is. How and what made you start your business Dark Moon Essentuals? I used to swatch nail polish on social

media for Indie nail polish brands. Sometimes I’d do 3 or 4 manis a day with polish, nail art-it was a whole thing. The more I did it, the drier my nails and cuticles got and so I found myself spending about $100 a month on nail oil. So I started researching nail oil recipes. I found a lot of recipes with oils that what I now know are “filler” oils (inexpensive oils that are used to keep a recipe cheap. Those oils didn’t

moisturize my nails and cuticles like I needed, not to mention they were greasy because of how “heavy” the oils are. So I did more research and Cuticle Crack™ was born! And it was just downhill from there! I loved research ingredients for my Cuticle Crack™ and thought to myself “If I can make this why can’t I make other things?” and a year later Dark Moon Esscentuals was born!

How did you get to where you are today? What gives you strength? How did I get to where I am today? Hmm, good question...When COVID hit and I lost my job, I decided I didn’t want anyone to be in control of my ability to earn an income but me. Whether is was working for minimum wage, and needing assistance because it wasn’t enough to support myself and my two boys. Or losing a job because someone has the power to fire you and wants to use it. That’s where my strength comes from. My boys, and wanting to be in control of my own destiny, my own fate, and if I fall on my face I am the only one I can blame! What are some of the challenges you face regarding being a female entrepreneur? For sure, I believe that women have a disadvantage when it comes to being an entrepreneur, just look at the statistics. But I don’t think that should hold a woman back. I find that finding other female entrepreneurs to look up to, or emulate, or learn from is a challenge for me. As well as imposter syndrome. That is one of my biggest challenges right now- trying not to talk myself out of going for it and keeping at it. How have you pivoted in business over the past year? The shutdown made me decide to be a full time small business owner and since ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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SHIFT+CONTROL { HEIDI’S LAW } }} {{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS “ How did I get to where I am today? Hmm, good question...When COVID hit and I lost my job, I decided I didn’t want anyone to be in control of my ability to earn an income but me”

that has happened I have found myself making more product, and getting more orders. Business has more than doubled than in my first couple years of business- and most of it is word of mouth because I am not great with going on social media. I’m thrilled! What motivates you and keeps you moving forward ? My clients for sure! When I was a younger single mom, I stopped taking time for my skin, and time for myself. Being so busy working and raising the boys alone, I felt guilty for even thinking about taking a long bath, or putting on a facial mask. And that’s if I even found the time! My clients are the same. They’ve forgotten what Self Care and time to themselves is. Even if they aren’t parents, they are uber busy with jobs and responsibilities that keep them from thinking they have time for themselves. I get emails and DM’s from my clients telling me what a difference my products have made to them, and I celebrate with them! Where do you see yourself personally and professionally in the next 3-5 years? Personally I see myself living in a beach house down South, where I can wake up to the sound of the surf every day! Professionally? I see my business expanding. My product line expanding. And most importantly, the number of women who are finding time for Self Care expanding. :) What are your tips for growing a company? 206

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1. Patience learning how to make all the little moving parts work. Even if you took business in college, it’s nothing like what I’ve learned and am learning since I started my own business. 2. If you have a support system, rely on them. Don’t try to be a hero and think that you have to do everything yourself-business, family, etc. If someone offers you time to yourself, take it and enjoy it! And last but certainly not least, don’t fall prey to imposter syndrome. You deserve all the success you have! What are some of the pros and cons of being a female entrepreneur, especially with social media? I’m not quite sure as far as myself, I think that you are expected to “look” a certain way, act a certain way, etc. I see it slowly changing, but the other day I heard someone say “Wow! She’s heavy! I didn’t expect her to look like that!”. I’m not sure what heaviness has to do with what the person sells, or does on social media, but I’ve never heard it about a guy! Do you have any helpful advice to someone interested in starting their own business/franchise? Be patient and don’t compare yourself to others in your business or any other sort of business. It will only bring you down-unless you thrive on that sort of thing. Just do the best you can, work hard in whatever way you work best and you’ll do amazing things! If you needed to start all over again tomorrow and you had just one thing

to change, add or subtract, what would it be ? I would organize better before I started my business! Tell us about one moment in your life that has had a lasting impression on you and formed who you are today. Hmmm... well there were several. My dad and gram had the biggest impact on my life. Working no matter what. Two or three jobs if they had to. And that made the most difference, because no matter what I put my all into what I do. Especially into my company- Dark Moon Esscentuals. Tell our audience one thing about yourself that not many others know. I play Pokemon Go even though my boys don’t play it anymore! LOL How do you balance work and life responsibilities? It’s not easy. I guess because I don’t have much of a social life I can focus on the other things. But I make sure that I’m taking time for Self Care now. It’s very important to take care of ourselves, because if we don’t we can’t take care of those we love when we finally crash and burn! What is your favorite part of your business and why? Besides the formulating new products? My clients! I have a Facebook pageDark Moon’s Luna-tics, and I’ve built up an amazing and very supportive community. I love knowing what’s going on in my clients’ lives. It’s not just about the selling of stuff. I love knowing what’s going on with them after they’ve gotten their products.



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{{{WOMEN SHE { SHIFT+CONTROL COVER HUSTLES WHO STORY TALKS ROC }}}

“I have this drive inside me that needs to see my business and myself succeed. To show my sons that you don’t have to do what the rest of the world says you have to.”

Who is someone that inspires you and why? Rachel Rogers! I listened to her book We Should All Be Millionaires and I just got so inspired! She’s strong, she’s smart, and she stands up for those of us who don’t know how yet! I want to be a millionaire in 5 years, and to give back to other women in small businesses. What inspired you to develop your idea? When I was a kid I was told I couldn’t be who and what I wanted to be when I grew up. I watched others in my

family have things I could only dream of. Go on vacations, and do things I wanted to. For years I listened to that negative voice in my head. Then when I developed Cuticle Crack™ and found people loved it, I decided I wasn’t going to let the past make my decisions anymore!

What is your favorite product and why? I’d have to say it’s a toss up between my Triple Whipped Body Butter and my Gawgeous Dahling (a gentle sugar facial scrub made with activated charcoal and Moroccan Red Clay that’s uh-mazing!)

What was your strategy in starting your business? It was awful! I made the product and then little by little pieced my business together. I’ve finally gotten it, almost, to where I want it to be. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS} } SHIFT+CONTROL “It’s very important to take care of ourselves, because if we don’t we can’t take care of those we love when we finally crash and burn!”

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INTRODUCING FIT TO RIEGN BY CORRIN STELLAKIS

​Hi ladies! My name is Corrin Stellakis and I am the owner of Fit to Reign. What is Fit to Reign? It is a business that is dedicated to helping women achieve their goals and become the best possible versions of themselves. It is a place where women inspire and empower one another.

can help them to overcome challenges and achieve their goals. They learn to form healthy personal boundaries, constructively make decisions about the future, have an increased awareness of personal responsibility, and improve communication and coping skills. I am there for my clients and together, we

F ​ it to Reign is about helping women become mentally, intellectually, socially, spiritually, physically, and emotionally fit. Everyone struggles with one, if not all, of these areas, and I am here to help in every aspect. I am a self-development coach, make-up artist, pageant coach, and personal trainer. I work with women on a one-to-one basis. Fit to Reign Studios is dedicated to creating a comfortable atmosphere where women can reach their goals and feel confident with their progress. ​I lovingly refer to Fit to Reign as “The Beauty and The Beast.” I believe that women are both strong and beautiful. On one side of Fit to Reign Studios there is “The Beauty.” This is where I help women develop in many different areas. ​As a Self-Development Coach, I connect with young women on a personal level to foster a deepened self-awareness and self-understanding. My clients learn tangible tools that

build a unique relationship. I listen, advise, inform, respect, challenge, and support my clients. Through Fit to Reign Self-Development Coaching, they will learn to honor themselves, overcome obstacles, achieve goals, and grow into the successful, happy, and

confident young women that they are meant to be. ​Do you know of a young lady that struggles with social anxiety, organization, negative feelings about herself, choices around dating/sex/breakups, the formation of healthy personal boundaries, decision-making about the future, setting life goals, communication, coping skills, or a sense of personal responsibility? Do you find that she is over critical of her appearance? Is she struggling with school, friends, and finding a balance in life? Is she concerned about “fitting in?” Does she have a difficult time managing stress or finding joy? Does this young woman need a better understanding of who she is and how valued and loved she is? Does she have leadership potential, but does not know how to utilize and channel her spiritual gifts? I would love to help her develop into a strong, confident, and capable young woman. With degrees in communication, psychology, and counseling, I am well equipped and prepared to help her grow and develop. I enjoy building a bond and relationship with my clients founded on trust and respect. Fit to Reign SelfDevelopment Coaching will be the best decision you have made for her. ​Another area of concentration is interview preparation where I teach ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ FIT TO REIGN } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “My clients are in all different states, of all different ages, and all have a unique personal goal. I love seeing each of my clients meet their goals and achieve their dreams by helping them become Fit to Reign.”

women techniques on how to create a lasting impact in any interview and how to communicate their ideas through verbal and nonverbal means. The interview philosophy at Fit to Reign creates focus, helps to increase vocabulary, instills confidence, helps you create a presence, express your personality, connect with the interviewer, and helps you to leave a lasting impression in any interview. You will gain interpersonal skills, critical thinking skills, be able to communicate your ideas more effectively, and increase thoughtprocessing speed.

and fluid movement patterns. ​One of the most popular areas of coaching at Fit to Reign is pageant coaching! Pageants allow women to gain life experience and new skill sets, as well as make lasting friendships,

​At Fit to Reign women also learn how to speak in public with confidence. I assist my clients in writing, editing, and performing their speech. How you communicate with the audience is very important, so I will teach you how to create that personal connection with the audience while you are speaking. You will learn techniques on how to ease your nerves, communicate your thoughts thoroughly, inspire and command an audience. ​As a professional model, I offer model coaching for young girls and women looking to create a profession in the modeling industry. It is important to learn a model walk, and techniques to get the best angle in front of the camera. During your training, I will work to develop your confidence, a strong walk, striking poses, facial expressions, great posture, 218

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and professional connections. As a 2-time international, 2-time national, and 4-time state titleholder, I know what it takes to prepare for and win the crown. During the preparation process, I will assist clients with filling out the necessary paperwork, work

with clients on interview and public speaking skills, fitness level, walking and posing, image/wardrobe, and platform development! ​On the other side of Fit to Reign is “The Beast.” This is where I coach my personal training clients. The “Beast” is where women transform their bodies and become physically Fit to Reign. In the personal training studio (“The Beast”), I assess each client on their current fitness level and then construct a personalized program to help them reach their goals. Each client is different, therefore each client will have a different fitness plan. I work with my clients on endurance, strength, balance, and flexibility training. At Fit to Reign, my main goal is to make you feel confident, healthy, and strong! ​Although I have a physical location in North Syracuse for Fit to Reign, I also know that sometimes it is not convenient for many women to come to my location due to proximity, or simply time restraints. For this reason, I offer video chat sessions all over the country! My clients are in all different states, of all different ages, and all have a unique personal goal. I love seeing each of my clients meet their goals and achieve their dreams by helping them become Fit to Reign.


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A GOOD BUSINESS PLAN IS NEVER DONE BY RUMELLA CAMERON

A business plan is a very important and strategic tool for entrepreneurs. A good business plan not only helps entrepreneurs focus on the specific steps necessary for them to make business ideas succeed, but it also helps them to achieve short-term and long-term objectives. The purpose of a business plan is to create an effective strategy for growth, determine your future financial needs, attract investors or lenders and manage change. Consider your business plan a roadmap to guide you as an entrepreneur to see the big picture, make important decisions, and improve overall performance and success. Each year you should block out time to revisit your business plan to go over the goals that you had set for yourself to achieve that year and reflect on what worked and what didn’t. This gives you the opportunity to plan for the upcoming year and use this as a management tool going forward. Updating your business plan is essential to keep all your information up to date. It may need updating to show a change in a physical location, alter your business goals, add a new business partner, or similar adjustments. Challenge yourself to take a hard look at your business plan to understand whether the contents are still applicable or not. Formulating a business plan should be the first step when starting a new business. Business plans typically

include detailed information that can help you improve the business chances of success, like market analysis, competitive analysis, customer segmentation, marketing, logistics and operations plans, cash flow projection, and an overall path to long-term growth. If you’re an existing business it’s necessary to update your business plan on a regular basis. You can use it as a management tool to track your progress, make changes and make good business decisions.

Some would ask when is a good time to revisit your business plan and when should you update and make changes to it? Entrepreneur.com recommends that you should update your business plan at least once a year. This big update to your plan should include a review of your value proposition; a look at new market segmentation; and a look at the larger potential market for whom your products or services could provide a solution. You can also do a monthly update, which involves

reviewing the difference between the actual results you achieved over the course of the month and the planned results you had hoped to achieve. Whether you’re looking to expand and are seeking funding, perhaps there’s a stronger or new competition, or maybe your business plan no longer reflects your current state anymore. There could be a number of reasons why it would be time to review and update your business plan. Entrepreneurship is often an endless exercise in decision-making and crisis management. Sitting down and considering all the ramifications of any given decision is a luxury that entrepreneurs can’t always afford. Putting together a business plan requires entrepreneurs to ask themselves a lot of hard questions and take the time to come up with well-researched and insightful answers. Even if the document itself were to disappear as soon as it’s completed, the practice of writing it helps to articulate your vision in realistic terms and better determine if there are any gaps in your strategy. Many businesses are created out of passion, and while passion can be a great motivator, it’s not a great proof point. Planning out exactly how you’re going to turn that vision into a successful business is perhaps the most important step between concept and reality. Keeping your business plan updated is ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ BUSINESS TALK }} { SHIFT+CONTROL “You want to ensure you update your plans periodically to address any legal and regulatory changes, as well as to make certain your company is continuing to make the choices necessary for success.”

vital because no company can succeed unless it stays current with the times and unless it evolves. The goals that you have for your organization will be different when you first get started then the goals you have once your organization is already underway. You want your plan to reflect the latest goals that you hope your company will accomplish so you have clear and measurable objectives to work towards. If you need help with updating your business plan, you can join us on November 17th for our upcoming Business Plan and Mindset Workshop. 224

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Working with Conversance Business Solutions to keep your plan updated is a smart choice. You want to ensure you update your plans periodically to address any legal and regulatory changes, as well as to make certain your company is continuing to make the choices necessary for success. Conversance Business Solutions is a full-service administrative support, and consultancy firm, serving businesses from small to mid-size nationwide. Our team specializes in various virtual assistant services and onsite support tailored to meet each of our client’s needs. Whether we work as an extension

of your team for one-time projects or long-term engagements, we bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. We hope these tips were helpful. Get in touch with us today at 585-484-0038 or visit us online at www.conversance.biz to find out more about the ways in which our team can help you.





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ALL ACCESS} { {SHIFT+CONTROL }

THE NEXT CHAPTER BY DR SHANELLE BENSON REID

THE CURRENT CHAPTER

It has been a great run ACCESS Readers! But it is time to say goodbye. I’ve enjoyed sharing my perspective, wisdom and at times foolishness with all of you. I’m beginning a new chapter in my life and closing the door on a few narratives of the past. For over 20 years, I’ve been a teacher. I love education and every aspect of the field. However, it is time for me to leave the teaching profession: PreK, K-12, Adult Ed, and Higher Ed, my work in the classroom is done. I thought the ending would be sad, but in truth, I am excited about the next phase of my life. Philosophically, I never believed in the structure of public education. Our entire system is inadequate and antiquated. As a student, I recall thinking to myself; nothing this teacher says is encouraging me to get excited about education. I’m not interested in math, I’m not interested in science, I’m not interested in social studies, and I’m not interested ELA, I guess, I wasn’t interested in school, but I trusted the process, so I pressed on. As a practitioner, we like to believe that education has evolved. We’ve incorporated manipulative, charts, graphs, and visual representations. We allow movement, flexible seating, alternate assessments but the curriculum remains the same. Other aspects of society have improved, however the most important societal component has not; education has

remained the same. How can we justify not revolutionizing our current educational system while our students have evolved, our society has advanced and other industries have adapted?

As I turn the page to this new chapter, I will be focusing on my businesses and my community. I’ve often divided my time, talents, and ability but those days are no longer. I am ready to prioritize the life I’ve prepared for in this season. My trajectory is Onward, Upward and Beyond.

ONWARD

Just when you think life could not get any better, boom, you are catapulted into the greatest stage of your life. You are finally free. Free to move forward, to grow, to develop into the woman you knew you would become. I stand erectly, boldly, confidently prepared to lead, to rule. I am Queen. I am Strength. I am Power. I am Woman!

UPWARD

MY NEXT CHAPTER

By the time this article is available, I will have won an election or learned from being a candidate for elected office, either way, there are no losses. This has been an incredible journey. What I know for sure, the political process is frustrating, exhausting, exhilarating, and depressing. This process has been extremely difficult, but I would not change anything. I am certainly better for it.

Climb higher, I will get there. Reach, stretch, maintain momentum. Keep rising, I am nearing the top. I decided. This is my mission. My time is now. This is my moving forward process. Daunting, defeating and depressing at times, but I am destined. I am divinely designed for ascension.

BEYOND

My inability to see it does not discount its existence. Travel afar, surpass expectations, blaze the trail, and make my mark. I knew I was built for greatness. I have known my entire life. All of my work has steered me to this point. Now I take the next step, the rest of my life awaits. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ ALL ACCESS } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Cherish Each Moment — I choose to experience life moment by moment.”

All ACCESS

I deserve the best of me. I started small, but here I am. I am patient yet determined. It may be frightening, and I may be terrified but significance and success are on the other side of fear. This is my revolution, my transformation. My gift to me. I am the creator. My tomorrow will thank me for the things I do today. I am ready! This is my next chapter. STEP 1: Take Responsibility — I acknowledge the problems and begin moving forwards STEP 2: Eliminate Judgment — I am 230

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no longer my worst critic STEP 3: Acknowledge Feelings— I know what I am feeling and know why I am feeling STEP 4: Be Patient — I trust the process STEP 5: Gain Self-Awareness — I choose to know me better STEP 6: Practice Gratitude — I am still standing, and I am grateful. STEP 7: Serve Others — someone else needs what I have to offer.

STEP 8: :Start Small — My choices and changes begin my revolution. STEP 9: Trust Life — Only good will come to me. I am in awe. STEP 10: Forgive Yourself — I know better and I do better. STEP 11: Cherish Each Moment — I choose to experience life moment by moment. STEP 12: Love — I love you and there is nothing you can do about it. I love me and there is nothing you can do about it.





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LESSONS IN THE LIFE OF ONE TOUGH MOTHER BY CHRISTINE PIACENTINO

What is “One Tough Mother”? The Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy Community and the rare disease community knows. That’s not to say that the mothers in these communities do it alone; some do. There are fathers known as “Super Dad” What makes us these monikers? Most of the people I have met are resilient and tenacious, and no or can’t is a word that is not readily accepted. I have my reel of snapshots that highlight both resilience and tenacity. The first snapshot was an initial appointment with an orthopedic doctor to have Jonathan fitted for night foot braces. Night braces are essential to keep heel cords stretched for more extended mobility. As he examined Jo n a t h a n , h e looked at me and said, “I don’t know if I could handle having my son receive a diagnosis of Duchenne muscular dystrophy; I would be in the psych ward.” My 4-year-old and I left that appointment as fast as we could. I immediately called my son’s pediatrician to find another doctor. Jonathan wore night splints until adulthood. The second snapshot was attending one of my first annual Parent Project

Muscular Dystrophy Conferences. This conference put the world’s leading experts in Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy in the same room with parents. At the time, there was not a standard of care for Duchenne patients. I remember sitting in the conference auditorium listening to two doctors screaming at each other about the pros and cons of using corticosteroids like Prednisone or

Deflazacort. I came home from the conference and told my husband we were screwed and on our own! The medical community could not agree on the use of Prednisone or Deflazacort. We spent months researching be benefits and the side effects of both drugs. Prednisone was readily available in the United States. Deflazacort was not approved in the United

States but supported in Europe. As a result of our research, we decided to give Jonathan Deflazacort. At the time, our options were to import from Mexico or Europe without a Doctor’s expertise. Upon further research, we found a doctor doing a study on Deflazacort in Toronto, Canada. We traveled to Toronto every 6 to 8 months. The doctor retired in 2012, and we were able to import deflazacort from the UK until EMFLAZA (Deflazacort) was approved in the US by the Food and Drug Administration. The third snapshot was the agonizing decision of enrolling my son in an experimental drug trial for a drug for his specific genetic mutation. It was a tough choice to enroll in an experimental drug trial. We didn’t know if the drug would work or change Jonathan’s trajectory in the disease. We also did not know what side effects my son would encounter. We also didn’t want to stop deflazacort, which we knew was beneficial. We decided to wait until the safety trials for Duchenne patients concluded. The decision was a little easier for us ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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“What is “One Tough Mother”? The Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy Community and the rare disease community knows.”

as the drug was an oral delivery in a suspension liquid and not an injection or an infusion. There was also the larger question. Would this new drug extend our son’s life or further limit his life span? Even more so than the current prognosis at the time was the early 20s. There were three trial sites, Philadelphia, Cincinnati, and Salt Lake City. Of course, the site furthest away from Rochester was accepting patients. My husband and son traveled to Salt Lake City for evaluation to determine if Jonathan met the criteria to participate in the trial. Once a p p r ov e d f o r inclusion, my husband and son traveled once every 4, 8, and 12 weeks through different trial phases. My husband shouldered the burden of all the trips to Salt Lake City. In 2009 the trial was stopped. Jonathan had responded well to the drug and maintained his function while on it. Jonathan experienced a decline when not on the medicine. The University of Salt Lake restarted the trial in 2010. The study coordinator moved to Columbia University in 236

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2014. Jonathan and I travel once a year to New York City to continue monitoring. After 15 years in this trial, we are still waiting for approval in the United States. Approval has occurred in Europe. Jonathan is now a 28-year-old adult with the pulmonary function of an average healthy person. This functionality is very rare in Duchenne. Due to his

success. Jonathan felt it necessary to testify in front of the Food and Drug Administration in 2017. He was speaker number 6 at the open public hearing. My last snapshot is a recent conversation with Jonathan as I put him to bed. Jonathan lost his mobility at 22 and now relies on aides or me to help him shower, dress, etc.

Jon weighs 137 pounds, although I can still lift him if needed, I rely on the help of a ceiling lift at home or rent a patient lift while traveling. This night the sling was not evenly placed, causing one leg to fall asleep and the other leg to get a full stretch in his upper thigh muscles. He said, “Amazing what good care looks and feels like.” “I’m still pretty flexible.” The University of Rochester Medical Center Neurology Clinic is a Certified Duchenne Care C e n t e r. T h e Certified Duchenne Care Center Program seeks to ensure standardized and comprehensive Duchenne Care is consistent across all the care centers i n t h e Un i t e d States. The UMRC received its designation in February 2019. Duchenne Care Centers don’t follow the normal practice of receiving specialized care in silos. In the end it does pay off to be a seeker of knowledge and to never, ever give up.


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BREATHE FIT BY DR. PAM DENTON WITH HILLARY WELLES

Did you ever have your windows cleaned and then say, “I didn’t realize how dirty those windows were!” What do dirty windows have to do with your daily performance? Your energy is like the window – you often don’t realize how unclear, unfocused, or scattered you are until you begin to take some positive action to clean out stressors and gain clarity . SuperCORE BreatheFit coaching offers you that positive action – a practice of breathing techniques that releases stress, clears brain fog, calms your nervous system, and opens the way for clarity in your work environment and daily life. Why is breath-work important for breakthrough? Physically, you can live for several weeks without food. You can live for several days without water. But you can only live for several minutes without oxygen. When you are stressed, your breathing becomes shallow and you may even find yourself holding your breath. Imagine what this does to your mental function, your stamina for long meetings, and your ability to clearly transmit and receive information. Oxygen feeds the energy cycles of our body and helps it to cellularly regenerate. When you are feeling stressed, tired, depressed, overwhelmed, or unsupported, breathing is the most efficient way to create a bridge to an overall sense of support, energy, clarity, and well-being. But here’s the problem: when you’re feeling stressed and overburdened, the last thing you want to do is sit and breathe – right? You might want to grab a cup of coffee, a cocktail, a cigarette, or a sugary snack. You might want to

argue with a team member or blame someone for your stressful situation. These are “fight or flight” ways to avoid or deny the intensity of what you have to deal with at work. And they don’t help! They all serve to amplify rather than reduce your overall stress level. That’s where SuperCORE BreatheFit coaching comes in. 1. SuperCORE BreatheFit coaches recognize the importance of breath for stress release and for overall physical, emotional, and team health.

Close your eyes. Notice your breath just the way that it is, without changing anything. Are you breathing? Are you holding your breath? Can you feel the breath move through your body? What is the rhythm of your breath? Is your breath shallow and quick?

2. SuperCORE BreatheFit techniques are scientifically designed to release stress and build energy. They are like building blocks that stack on each other to create a desired outcome.

Are you breathing through your mouth or through your nose?

3. BreatheFit coaching is especially effective in a group. When the whole team is breathing together and releasing stress, there is a cumulative effect. Our coaches are trained to lead your team to a place of increased clarity, connection, and cohesiveness.

Do you care about your breathing?

As BreatheFit coaches, we direct you to breathe using certain techniques and rhythms. Coached breathing will allow you to: ● Activate body awareness ● Access and release stored stress, fatigue, overwhelm, tension, and pain ● Harness the power of breath to move through obstacles and attain clarity ● Connect with your team on a new level Do the following exercise to check in with your level of breath awareness. EXERCISE: Checking in with Your Breath

Is your chest rising and falling, or is the movement only in your belly?

Now that you have taken a moment to check in with your breath, it’s time to ACTIVATE a breathing practice! When practiced 15 to 30 minutes per day, BreatheFit will give you a foundational method for establishing well-being in the workplace. Contact us to sign up for a complimentary consultation and set up a customized introductory BreatheFit program for you and your team! All BreatheFit programs are offered online and can be done right from your office. https:// supercorefit.com/ Want to know more? Check out our book CORE Intelligence: Driving the New Era of Leadership! https://www.amazon. com/gp/product/B094KL6MBW/ ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_taft_p1_i0

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STARTING AT $199 INFLUENTIALWOMANONLINE.COM


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MEET DANIELA MALAVE BY KRISTIN BAUER-GROSS

As an actor, on camera talent and business coach to models and actors, my column here often shares auditioning tips, acting advice, confidence building strategies, and projects related to my “Courage to Dream” mission which is to empower women and girls to go after their dreams.

“Expecting Isabel,” in NYC at the Barrow Group. I learned how to act because of my teachers, Seth Barrish and Lee Broch, but they taught me the most important lesson of all that has helped me in every area of my life. That vulnerably is strength and that I’m enough. Being cast in that production was such a full circle

This month, I am thrilled to share an interview with Daniela Malave. Daniela is both an incredibly talented actor and small business owner of Tres Fiori. Tres Fiori creates custom life-like flower cupcakes that are a feast for the eyes and almost too beautiful to eat. How did you first get started or interested in acting? I was always a performer since I was a kid. My Dad plays a Venezuelan instrument called, El Cuatro, and I would always sing with him in Spanish. My Mother started a children’s choir in Venezuela, Los Niños Cantores, which then became the 4th largest children’s choir group in Latin America where my brother and I would participate. I then started ballet at six years old when my love for dancing began, and began acting in middle school in the 8th grade. What has been your top 2 favorite shoots o notable moments in your acting career? I have so many memorable experiences. My two most notable, favorite moments was when I was cast in the Off-Broadway production of,

incredible experience and I hope to do it again soon You are the owner and founder of an organic handcrafted baking business; can you tell readers about that? My company, Tres Fiori, is also specific to being gluten free. I started it because I couldn’t find desserts that had clean ingredients and that were gluten free as I have a terrible gluten allergy that causes inflammation throughout my body. It also introduced me to the art form of buttercream flowers. I had no idea that I even had this hidden talent, which is why I tell people, women especially, that if you feel a pull or intuition to start something, do it. You never know! What is it like juggling your acting career and baking business? It’s incredibly difficult and I have to pick and choose projects that are worth my while. I’m grateful that the bulk of my income is through Tres Fiori and I’m doing something that is fulfilling. For many years I did work to just pay bills and get by. I love being my own boss and my customers are amazing

moment. My second most memorable moment was being cast for AE’s ( The Simms, Super Mario Brothers, World Of Warcraft) I tried for years to break in the gaming world of VO and my dream finally came true. It was an

What changes would you like to see in the tv/film and advertising industry? I’m so sick and tired of the lack of work available for Latinx actors. It’s changing slowly but the progress is like molasses. The work available is stereotypical, “maid, welfare mom, ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ COACHING WITH KRISTIN } { SHIFT+CONTROL } “ I say there’s nothing worse than regret. I would rather fail miserably trying then not trying at all. ”

drug addict etc… Then the roles that are kick ass, they want you to perform in an accent. It’s annoying, outdated, and frustrating. How has the pandemic affected pursuing acting positively, negatively, or both? It’s wild, I actually booked a lot of work during the pandemic. I performed a play in the pandemic. It was one of the hardest projects I was involved in. It was a bilingual play that we decided to make into a film through the bilingual theatre group in Philadelphia, Teatro Del Sol. I was my own costumer, makeup artist, director, and editor at times. It was a wonderful experience. I also booked two online Equity readings, and did a web series, QuaranTeam. It was also during this time that I booked AE’s Knockout City. I stayed pretty busy considering the circumstances and Tres Fiori also took off. What would you say to women who feel like something is holding them back from pursuing modeling or acting or any dream that feels a little bit impossible? Perhaps, they feel they are not tall enough, slim enough, talented enough, connected enough, young enough, smart enough or any other type of feeling “not enough”? 248

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I say there’s nothing worse than regret. I would rather fail miserably trying then not trying at all. You, as you are, is your “IT,” factor. There’s not a single person in the world like you. Don’t self-sabotage before giving yourself a chance

What role have you seen Kristin Bauer-Gross play in helping others pursue their model and acting dreams? Kristin takes all of the bulk work out of trying to figure out this industry. From proper headshots, finding an agent, networking, and auditioning. It can take a performer months, even YEARS to figure it out. She’s literally a one stop shop and is genuine in seeing people succeed. Kristin was my first booking agent when I first started, and she booked me a Halloween Wig photoshoot as Amy Winehouse. Remember that Kristin?! Lol! Catch Kristin’s free IGTV series “Talent Toolbox” on Instagram @KristinBCoaching Get Kristin’s FREE Printable Checklist to make Packing and Preparing for Photoshoots a breeze at: www.KristinB.com/ checklist

\Where can people connect with you online and in social media? Tres Fiori @tresfiori personal IG @daniela_malave_actor DanielaMalave.com


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TIME FLIES BY TAMMY VREELAND

The first Sunday in November is quickly coming upon us. And what is the significance of that? It is the day; Daylight Saving Time ends. A concept I had a hard time dealing with when I first moved to New Jersey. I grew up in Indiana, in a time where we didn’t change our clocks. Time always continued without us trying to manipulate it. When I moved to New Jersey, I had to change my way of thinking. Even though it was only one hour, it still seemed wrong to me. As seasons changed, it was a given that certain times would be brighter or darker. I had never really given it much thought to change clocks back. Perhaps a way to make summer longer and winter shorter, but not the actual days themselves. But the hassle of remembering to change every clock you ever owned seemed daunting. Especially if your car doesn’t automatically change for you! By the time I would have to change it, it had been so long since I last changed it, I would completely forget how I did it! Which, in turn, would usually make me lose the entire hour I was supposed to be gaining! I grew up in a large farming community, only to arrive in a less farming community, which was using the daylight savings to help farmers. I wonder how Indiana did it all those years? Apparently, we were a little late in realizing we needed it. Indiana started using Daylight Savings time on April 2nd, 2006 (I guess making it start on April

1st everyone would have thought it was a joke) Whereas New Jersey started using it on April 12th, 1966. Let’s see, we were behind the times so we had to catch up to get with the times by taking time away? If that isn’t enough to make your head swim, I don’t know will! Maybe we should just concentrate being on time. (thank God we aren’t talking about leap year - that’ll have to be a whole other article!) Personally, I would like to slow down time in general. Doesn’t it feel like time flies? After saying that, I was curious who may have been the first to coin such a phrase. It was first recorded in 1800, but Shakespeare used a similar expression ‘the swiftest hours as they flew’. While doing my research for this article, I did come across something fascinating. Time flies as we get older is an actual thing! They say that the reason we feel as if time is flying by, the older we get, is because we cannot view the same volume of images in the same amount of time as we did when we were younger. I guess when everyone told us to make the most of our time while we are young actually had a basis for something that will occur when we are older. I’m not sure how I feel about that. On one hand, I’m glad it’s just not me feeling time flies. On the other, I guess it makes me appreciate the time I have even more. Soon you will have an extra hour to spend. What will you use that time for? An extra hour to sleep in? Or perhaps a free hour to start that exercising you had put off all summer. After all, that

New Year’s resolution is right around the corner! When you think about it, it’s kind of cool for this time of year not to ‘save time’ but ‘spend’ it on our family and friends. The holidays are coming up, which is a perfect time to spend time. (Seems like we spend on everything else, getting ready for the holidays, why not time too?) Why don’t we take some time and check out the upcoming National Holidays which may coincide with time… November 11th is National Veterans Day - A special time to remember our Veterans and what this day means to us all! November 15th is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day - Not particularly a ‘fun’ time, but when you need more room for all that holiday cooking, it will be time well spent! November 17th is National Take A Hike Day - Although you may think now may not be the time for this, due to all the planning you have before the holidays. When in reality, it may very well be the thing that will relieve your stress while giving you the chance to clear your mind and spend time on enjoying the surrounding beauty. November 19th is National Play Monopoly - Fortunately, this day falls on a Friday this year. What better way to celebrate this National Holiday by getting together with some friends and having an old fashion game night? We all know, a good game of Monopoly takes ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ TAMMY’S TIDBITS } SHIFT+CONTROL “The first Sunday in November is quickly coming upon us. And what is the significance of that? It is the day; Daylight Saving Time ends.”

time and with daylight savings over, you now have an extra hour to play! November 25th is National Play Day With Dad - Ironically, this happens to be on Thanksgiving this year where more than likely most will be watching “plays” right along with Dad during the big game, as dinner is cooking. Which is a tradition tried and true by 252

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many and nothing wrong with it. But perhaps, before the big game or even after, bond with dear ole Dad in a good card game, video game, or even figuring out a Lego set, which is fun for both and keeps them out of Mom’s way. In the end, it really doesn’t matter how you spend your time. As long as it is time well spent. Meaning, time is short as it does seem to fly. And even though we

may turn our clocks back, it still keeps ticking forward, regardless. Give yourself the time to enjoy this time. For we tend to say there will be plenty of time later, when in reality - there truly is never enough time.



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SMELL THE ROSES BY RAQUEL WALKER

Scents possess the powerful qualities of impacting our emotions, tapping into our memories, and improving our sense of well-being. The simple routine of smelling your tea or coffee before that first sip, notice its impact; this may be how you typically start your day. We often focus on the caffeine entering our system to get us going, overlooking the comfort of its familiar scent. As a massage therapist, I enjoy the careful curation of scented candles. It warms and welcomes each client, bringing them to a calm meditative state before even experiencing the balancing aura of touch. SMELL THE ROSES Stop and smell the roses. It is such a comforting cliche. A singular reminder of the importance of solitude; rest, reset and recharge. My middle sister hopped into the car two weeks ago, and as she did, her message to me was, “slow down, it came to me to tell you to slow down” I had no idea which way to process that statement. We continued to pick our sister up and were on our way to celebrate the month of birthdays, our middle sister’s day in particular. As we ate, I mused over this message to slow down. I drove slower, and I ate more deliberately. I tried to absorb small things I may have usually missed as I muttered “slow down” between mouthfuls of cauliflower wings and beer. SCENT AWAY I’m sure every family has a collection of odd phrases they toss around humorously. Mine is like a call and response. The kids ask, “where are you going?” when they see me hustling about

the house getting dressed, I respond, “crazy” sometimes, I ask if they want to come other times, I don’t. This day as soon as I replied, my sixteen-year-old replied, “I’m coming!” This was the first time either of my boys had ever taken me up on my shenanigans, and I was on a mission. I wanted to get out of the house quickly, to enjoy each moment at a slow pace. It had been a long emotional week of the full moon, feminine, and life cycles. It was almost overwhelming, and I was seeking and creating my healing. I smiled at my son in the passenger seat. He had no idea what I was up to, and that just punctuated my excitement. In less than 15 minutes, we were parked and crossing University Ave to enter Design Scents. I heard about this candlemaking experience, but this would be my first time. We enter and get the rundown. There are over 100 scents! I wanted to get right to candle-making, so I grabbed my clipboard and began to write down all my favorite scents. I had a theme in mind; I wanted to create a smell that took me back to my childhood, a time in life that things moved much more slowly. The present complexities of life were then masked in the title of adulthood that I had neither desire nor reason to explore or understand. I had heard about the cannabis scent, and that was a must on my list. We would need to narrow it down to three for the candle, no matter how many I fell in love with. They helped with that by creating pathways using my list, highlighting what would work well together.

I selected a few favorites from my childhood: cloves and mango. I smelt the coconut, but it wasn’t comparable to my childhood memory. I continued choosing; summer lawn, bamboo, rosemary, and rose petals. We were each given a plate with our top two or three oils; my top three were cloves, mango, and cannabis. My son chose burnt sugar and mango. We were given measuring tools to pour our oils into. As we progressed through the process, we ‘sniff tested’ our oils to determine if they were formulated in the direction that we liked. I ordered a two for one Mimosa and began to craft my scent. I started with cannabis oil. My root chakra, my island home, my father, mangoes for my mother, and my many feasts in the backyard, and cloves, which remind me of the pimento spice used generously in many island dishes. The business owner explains that the olfactory nerve is responsible for the way our sense of smell takes us back to moments and memories and that the definition of smell is said to be the first to develop. The variety of things I do to maintain a healthy balance has an entourage effect; each element works together for our highest good. These elements, tools, or experiences serve as our reminder to not only stop and smell the roses but also skip through a few puddles and unburden ourselves of this thing of adulting. A warm, familiar scent makes a short trip of this at any moment or location. It whisks you away, alters your present reality, and leaves you feeling a bit more whole.

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2021 YEAR-END TAX PLANNING BASICS BY LAURIE A. HAELEN

As the autumn chill begins to permeate the air and pave the way for winter’s frosty temps, it is not likely that you are thinking about taxes. However, the window of opportunity for many tax-saving moves closes on December 31, so it’s important to evaluate your tax situation now, while there’s still time to affect your bottom line for the 2021 tax year. IRAS AND RETIREMENT PLANS Ensure that you are taking full advantage of tax-advantaged retirement savings vehicles. Traditional IRAs and employersponsored retirement plans such as 401(k) plans allow you to contribute funds on a deductible (if you qualify) or pre-tax basis, reducing your 2021 taxable income. Contributions to a Roth IRA (assuming you meet the income requirements) or a Roth 401(k) aren’t deductible or made with pre-tax dollars, so there’s no tax benefit for 2021, but qualified Roth distributions are completely free from federal income tax, which can make these retirement savings vehicles appealing. For 2021, you can contribute up to $19,500 to a 401(k) plan ($26,000 if you’re age 50 or older) and up to $6,000 to a traditional IRA or Roth IRA ($7,000 if you’re age 50 or older). The window to make 2021 contributions to an employer plan typically closes at the end of the year, while you generally have until the April tax return filing deadline to make 2020 IRA contributions. ROTH CONVERSIONS Year-end is a good time to evaluate whether it makes sense to convert a taxdeferred savings vehicle like a traditional IRA or a 401(k) account to a Roth account. When you convert a traditional

IRA to a Roth IRA, or a traditional 401(k) account to a Roth 401(k) account, the converted funds are generally subject to federal income tax in the year that you make the conversion (except to the extent that the funds represent nondeductible after-tax contributions). If a Roth conversion does make sense, you’ll want to give some thought to the timing of the conversion. For example, if you believe that you’ll be in a better tax situation this year than next (e.g., you would pay tax on the converted funds at a lower rate this year), you might think about acting now rather than waiting. In addition, usually a partial or incremental conversion over a period of 3-5 years if preferable to a one-time lump sum conversion. This type of strategy enables you to spread the tax consequences over several years and allows you to accelerate or decelerate the pace, depending upon your income in any specific year. (Whether a Roth conversion is appropriate for you depends on many factors, including your current and projected future income tax rates.) I N D U LG E C H A R I TA B L E INCLINATIONS If you are a) charitably inclined and b) age 70 ½ and older, you can take advantage of a QCD (qualified charitable distribution). A QCD is a direct transfer of up to $100,000 of IRA dollars to a qualifying charity (501C3). What this means is that the charity benefits from your gift, but you do not have to claim the distribution as income. It is an excellent strategy to reduce taxable income AND help a favorite charity. Please note that even though the SECURE Act increased the RMD (required minimum distribution) age to 72, you are still able to take advantage

of a QCD at age 70 ½. SPECIAL CONCERNS FOR HIGHER-INCOME INDIVIDUALS The top marginal tax rate (37%) applies if your taxable income exceeds $523,600 in 2021 ($628,300 if married filing jointly, $314,150 if married filing separately). Your long-term capital gains and qualifying dividends could be taxed at a maximum 20% tax rate if your taxable income exceeds $445,850 in 2021 ($501,600 if married filing jointly, $250,800 if married filing separately, $473,750 if head of household). CHANGES TO NOTE Recent legislation has modified many provisions, generally for 2018 to 2025. • Personal exemptions were eliminated. • Standard deductions have been substantially increased to $12,550 in 2021 ($25,100 if married filing jointly, $18,800 if head of household). • The overall limitation on itemized deductions based on the amount of adjusted gross income (AGI) was eliminated. • The AGI threshold for deducting unreimbursed medical expenses is 7.5% in 2021. • The deduction for state and local taxes has been limited to $10,000 ($5,000 if married filing separately). • Individuals can deduct mortgage interest on no more than $750,000 ($375,000 for married filing separately) of qualifying mortgage debt. For mortgage debt incurred before December 16, 2017, the prior $1,000,000 ($500,000 ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ FINANCIALLY SPEAKING { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “When it comes to year-end tax planning, there’s always a lot to think about.”

for married filing separately) limit will continue to apply. A deduction is no longer allowed for interest on home equity indebtedness. Home equity used to substantially improve your home is not treated as home equity indebtedness and can still qualify for the interest deduction.

casualty losses attributable to a federally declared disaster.

• The top percentage limit for deducting charitable contributions was increased from 60% of AGI to 100% of AGI for certain direct cash gifts to public charities for 2021.

Talk to a professional When it comes to year-end tax planning, there’s always a lot to think about. In addition, there are several proposals on the table that may change some of the numbers that are accurate as of this writing. A tax professional can help you evaluate your situation, keep you

• The deduction for personal casualty and theft losses was eliminated, except for 260

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• Previously deductible miscellaneous expenses subject to the 2% floor, including tax preparation expenses and unreimbursed employee business expenses, are no longer deductible.

apprised of any legislative changes, and determine whether any year-end moves make sense for you. Laurie A. Haelen, AIF®, is Senior Vice President – Manager of Investment and Financial Planning Solutions, CNB Wealth Management, Canandaigua National Bank & Trust Company. She can be reached at (585) 394-4260 x41970 or by email at lhaelen@CNBank.com.


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keeps us focused on what you need most.

What does it mean to be a local, independent, community bank? It means that our focus is on our customers and communities, and that our commitment is to remain flexible, nimble, and responsive in times of need. At Canandaigua National Bank & Trust, we’re here to provide financial education and advice when you want it, along with care and compassion when you need it. And, as always, we continue to bring you the services and solutions to meet your needs now and for the future. Today, and every day, CNB is investing in you, your business, and our community.

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LILY THE CROSS-COUNTRY CAT BY JOHNNY WILLIAMS

Lily is a beautiful calico lady who has traveled many miles in her quest for a safe, happy, loving home. During the height of the pandemic in 2020, a wonderful woman named Jennifer Friedman found Lily injured on the side of the road. She rescued Lily and discovered that she had a “tail pull” injury, which made her urinary incontinent – meaning she was unable to hold her bladder when it was full.

in her vicinity would not take a cat with Lily’s condition. Jennifer desperately expanded her reach, searching for any organization willing to take in Lily. Finally, she found Animal

But Jennifer went forward with taking Lily in anyway. Lily was just too beautiful and too sweet to give up on, especially for a problem that Lily was likely mostly unaware that she had. Jennifer went from vet to vet, trying all kinds of different ways to help Lily get back control of her bladder – including acupuncture. While there was some improvement, Lily still needed to have her bladder manually expressed several time a day to help avoid accidents. But when life began returning back to normal and it came time for Jennifer to return to work and travel for her job, she no longer had the time and flexibility to give Lily the care she needed. However, shelters and sanctuaries 264

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and eventually find her a home. There was only one problem… Jennifer and Lily were located across the country in California. But Jennifer had a heart of pure gold for Lily, and volunteered to fly Lily to East Smithfield, PA, to ensure her safe arrival and future. She got a plane trip to Baltimore, and drove the remaining several hours to bring Lily here. As advertised, Lily is a beautiful, sweet, happy cat. Ashley and the feline behavorial team is working on developing a special plan for Lily to ensure the best possible outcome for her to have long happy life – including training her to wear diapers and expressing her bladder on a schedule. To make matters slightly easier, Lily is an indoor/outdoor cat as well!

Care Sanctuary. Feline Care Director Ashley Bartholomew corresponded with Jennifer and it was decided that ACS was capable of helping Lily continue to recover

More updates will become available for Lily as this plan develops. She has settled in wonderfully and is already a favorite amongst the staff!


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THE ACS CORNER} } {{ SHIFT+CONTROL “ Lily was just too beautiful and too sweet to give up on, especially for a problem that Lily was likely mostly unaware that she had.”

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HEY ALL, IT’S MICA & BUSTER BY MICA & BUSTER

Hey all… I’m Mica! So I’m a long time resident now with AAO and I swear, I’m ready for my permanent home! I’m a 2.5-yearold Husky/ Shepherd mix and I’m so much more than just a pretty face… though I certainly am that! So I was with another rescue that didn’t train me and instead was ready to put me down. They even had a date scheduled for my demise when AAO took me instead. I admit, I was a handful. I had these impulse control issues and when I felt uncomfortable, excited or scared, I would jump at people’s faces and occasionally… I connected. But I don’t do that anymore! Promise!! Haven’t acted like that in almost a year! Now I listen so well. You name it, I do it. Fetch, walk, Place, lay down, roll over, agility… I’m an athlete and a scholar. I love the sanctuary and everyone there. I have learned a lot there. But I really think I’m

ready for my forever home now where I can be a part of a family and go on hikes and all sorts of activities. I’m in my prime and am ready to find my forever family.

This is Buster checking in again guys! How is everyone? I’m doing GREAT! Everyone loves me here

and while I like everybody… I am somewhat of a ladies’ man! So my parents like me so much and see how well I do here that sometimes they debate (nicely) whether I should be here forever. I’m 7 and unlike Mica… I’m not as high maintenance! I am a laid back dog that is more than happy to just chill so long as I’m getting my walks and exercise. I don’t need to be running around all the time fetching things and running through those cones the way crazy Mica does. Just walk me and watch a movie with me… I’m all about the Netflix and chill. So my parents aren’t nearly as worried about finding me a home as they are Mica… but at the same time, if I can find that perfect family or person that I can grow old, or older with, they’d be thrilled for me!

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ALTERNATIVE HYPNOSIS BY JACKIE MONAHAN

Tell us about yourself, and your background. After graduating from HS (a year early), I borrowed someone’s car, drove to “Kodak, and got hired on the spot.” This was supposed to be one year then going to college. Twenty-Eight Years later I left Kodak to go to RIT full time and I LOVED school. Next, I did many jobs but never really found something that I loved as much as Kodak as a “National Accounts Corporate Trainer.” UNTIL I was hired as a corporate employee at AVON as a District Sales Manager covering the east and west districts in Rochester.

they were the best. AND GUESS WHAT Happen? My Tremors went away and I started losing a lot of weight. The more I learned about Alternative Hypnosis, the history, and the success rate, I did not want to stop going and wanted to be a part of the “Hypnosis World.” I love how it teaches people a natural and healthy lifestyle. Besides losing weight, Alternative Hypnosis provides one of the most important services, near

What motivates me personally and professionally? Personally – I love to take on challenges, such as recently restoring our 170-year-old Victorian home which included a lot of interior and exterior challenges. However, the results are very rewarding.

Both companies provided me with great professional experience. My hard work was recognized by winning “The Circle of Excellence Award.” I now realize my success in both positions was because; My goal was to help companies grow sales and people improve their lives. All of this prepared me for my current career as a Hypnotist, which I Love. What made you decide to join Alternative Hypnosis? As someone who has struggled with weight after two miscarriages and a stillborn. Then a radical Hysterectomy to remove Cancer. I dealt with a lot of stress issues. Then I started with tremors, which had me going to all kinds of doctors, even Neurologists. I was tired of all the meds and became desperate to get “ME” back. So, I checked out “Alternative Hypnosis” because I heard 272

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Wart removal, Sports improvement, and test anxiety for students, Pain management, etc. We first offer a FREE screening to determine your needs and how bad you want to make that change. Sometimes clients do need to provide a doctor’s approval for specific needs. Fortunately, Hypnosis popularity is growing and is now being recognized by the medical field. It is common to have doctors send clients to us.

and dear to my heart: “Helping people live a happier and healthier life but also make it fun.” Tell us about what types of services you offer at Alternative Hypnosis. Alternative Hypnosis offers several programs. With all the stress of today’s world, the most common needs are for Weight Loss, Smoking, and Stress issues. There are many others such as Tinnitus,

Professionally - I want to feel like I’m making a difference and helping make improvements. At Kodak; I loved monitoring and training teams to accomplish their sales goals, across the US for Kodak’s National Accounts and before that was for Kodaks call center. I consistently monitored the numbers to ensure we were consistently making measurable improvements. It was very motivating to continue growth within each account. As a Corporate employee at Avon, I loved helping people realize their strengths to become independent. When people became financially independent it increased their overall self-worth and that is what motivates me. Now with Hypnosis, “My Accomplishment feelings” are off the charts. When someone tells


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{ THE ALTERNATIVE }} SHIFT+CONTROL “Empowerment means having a clear path and plan with steps towards an accomplishment or goal.”

me they have no desire to smoke, then after a few quick sessions; their smile says it all and shows me that I am in the right place. I love listening to people tell me how much better they feel. I am grateful to be able to help people to improve their lives overall. What does the word empowerment mean to you? Empowerment means having a clear path and plan with steps towards an accomplishment or goal. It first takes being given the freedom to take the ball and run with the project. Going towards a preset goal and knowing how to deal with any roadblocks that may change the planned path. If you had the chance to start your career over again, what would you do differently? I would have jumped right into the world of natural healing. I’ve always had a strong interest and study in how the brain works and Hypnotism uses many of those abilities that people don’t even know about. My life would have been so much easier if I only knew then what I know now. I grew up in a world where you went to one company and stayed with that company till retirement. I wish I did that with hypnosis. Better late than never! What do you feel are your greatest strengths? “Training, Teambuilding and overall People skills.” Especially now as a hypnotist, it is a partnership to determine needs then improve someone’s life by creating a healthier future. There is so much to learn in the “Hypnosis World” and I love constantly absorbing more, 274

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by reading, seminars, etc. So that I can continue to grow. Who has been your greatest inspiration or role model? I love when women overcome challenges and always turn lemons into lemonade. Instead of dwelling on the negative, they strive to overcome it. Katharine Hepburn created change by wearing pants in public and from then on, women were able to have a choice. It was a huge step for women back then. The woman that we all admire for her strengths is Oprah. Nothing was handed to her but she continued to strive for what matters most: helping people accomplish more than they realize possible. “What is your ‘why? ‘” Why did you decide to become a female entrepreneur and why now? I am tired of working for people whose goal is to earn an income from my work. I spent many years working with people who might do less but get paid more. I now realize that the more you show you can do- The bar will continue to rise higher. At Alternative Hypnosis, It’s natural to do my best and, I consistently feel great knowing positive results. How did working through the pandemic affect you for the better or worse? I did get VERY caught up in the pandemic and embarrassed to say I was on unemployment. The situation created so much stress, that I needed help. That is how I ended up going for Hypnosis, looking for natural help. The pandemic was/is the worst but it put me on the course to a future as a

Hypnotist. I have learned so much that I am sure God was creating this path that landed me with this rewarding team and career as a hypnotist. Yes, the pandemic was awful but I choose to look for the rainbow after a storm. Name one special moment during your career that has stood out to you and why. While I was training – One of my best friends, in the Rochester area landed in the hospital with a heart attack. Doctors told her it was a “Heart Break – Heart Attack” because of the stress she was dealing with. At first, I felt helpless because I was so far away- But while I was talking to her on the phone, while she was at the hospital. She was telling me about the incident and her stressors. The more she told me I could tell she was getting more and more stressed – I said: “Lena, stop! – Let me hypnotize you over the phone to get you to relax.” One of the things I did was tell her to keep her eyes closed tightly. I continued talking until I assumed she was resting, by the sound of her breathing. The next AM I called to see how it went. We were both so thrilled that it worked and she got a great night’s sleep. However, the nurse came in during the night and woke her up. At first, she could not open her eyes (I left out the part that you can open your eyes if you need to, which I do for face-to-face appointments.) Eventually, she talked with the nurse but peacefully fell right back to sleep. This was another situation that made me realize: Hypnotism is the career I need to be in. If you were to write a book about yourself, how would you name it


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{{ THE ALTERNATIVE }} SHIFT+CONTROL “Alternative Hypnosis provides one of the most important services, near and dear to my heart: “Helping people live a happier and healthier life but also make it fun.””

“Surviving the Storm and always looking for a silver lining.” I have been in some rough situations and yes, they have all made me stronger. I wish I had a dollar from everyone who told me: “You need to write a book.” Hopefully, my experiences could be educational if shared with others. I now realize I need to accomplish things important to me, because I am important too. Many times, my big heart gets in the way and hopefully, my book will help others learn from my mistakes. And pay attention to the roadblocks. What do you feel makes a good woman leader? Being a Role-model and sharing goals with others. Identify needs, train, guide, then partner and monitor, delegate, and teach more when needed. What do you have planned for the next year? What about five years from now for your business? My goal is to completely take over the E. Syracuse location before 2022, then open satellites in the Rochester area. I have always had a 2nd job. However, this does not feel like a J O B. Having a 2nd or 3rd location will keep me busy as something I love doing. As things with the pandemic change our lives, I will also offer Zoom sessions (Per request) however that would be a last resort. Though, there are no boundaries with Zoom. What was the hardest decision you ever had to make? The hardest decision I had to make was when I decided to leave Kodak after 28 years, to go to School/RIT full time. The standing joke was: If I ever cut a finger,

I would squirt Yellow Blood. (Yellow as a Kodak Trademark color) Kodak was more of a family-type atmosphere -vs- Work. How do you personally define business success? Is it money? Freedom? Influence? Creative expression and innovation? Something else? Business success requires dedication, planning, and the ability to be driven and committed to accomplishing goals while remaining flexible. Being able to go home at the end of the day no matter how many hours; I need to feel like I made a difference. To me, that is success. What education or experiences did you have that prepared you for being a female entrepreneur and business owner? Many years with very diverse business experiences in corporate America and going to Rochester Institute of Technology, with an extensive and aggressive curriculum, has prepared me for my next career. I have always felt customer service and people skills were extremely important. Customer satisfaction is the best kind of advertisement for any business growth.

at Road Atlanta where I was invited to change careers. I was all signed up for Skip-Barber racing school and had sponsors. However- I could not leave Kodak to be a racecar driver. In the winters, I was able to arrange my work schedule so that I could ski daily, and I loved my old MG. With all those things in my history, when I turned 60, I did something outrageous, out of character for me and it did not fit my character or lifestyle. I worked on my bucket list and bought a Harley Davidson after taking a class. It is very thrilling to again feel that wind in my face. How has Alternative Hypnosis affected your life? Alternative Hypnosis has affected my life 100%. I do most everything healthy now. I now take better care of ME and realize that if I’m not emotionally or physically well, then that is a dead end. I’m the only one who can make changes and improve my life and now I do. I realize that I deserve more – I deserve the Best and so do YOU! Most of all: It helped open my mind and eyes to what I want to do for a career: “Help people improve their lives.”

I also earned a variety of certificates along with my Bachelors of Science degree - with honors. Most were related to Business, People skills such as Leadership, Change, Management, etc. What is something not everyone knows about you? I’ve always needed speed and feeling the wind in my face is so freeing. With that; I once drove a formula continental ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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SHIFT+CONTROL { HEIDI’S LAW } }} {{ THE ALTERNATIVE “ The more I learned about Alternative Hypnosis, the history, and the success rate, I did not want to stop going and wanted to be a part of the “Hypnosis World.”

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WHAT DOES BEAUTY MEAN TO YOU? BY DR. ANIKA SIMONE JOHNSON

Beauty is commonly described as a feature of objects that makes these objects pleasurable to perceive such objects include landscapes, sunsets, humans, and works of art. But what does BEAUTY mean to you? The six-letter word has many definitions. Depending on your specific lens, how you view yourself and the world. It is said beauty is the eye of the beholder. Beauty is more than appearance; it is more than the outer layer. We have all heard many times that beauty is skin deep but is it also deeper than that. Beauty is not always about our outside looks, but it also includes our personality. Beauty is not only what the media portrays as a stunning symmetrical face or thin physique. How many times have you encountered a beautiful person to the naked eye and experienced their bad attitude? Beauty can be described in various ways. Beauty could mean a summer breeze on a hot day, a food dish you have prepared for the first time, or a newborn baby you have created out of love with your significant other. How can we embrace our beauty and beauty standards in the world today? Let’s dive into it! Beauty to me is self-love and inner/ energy reflecting from the inside out of a healed spirit. Bodacious, Effulgent, Ambitious, Unique, Tenacious, and Youthful is how I

describe what Beauty means to me! Bodacious: be bold, to go for all the things you desire without hesitation, fear, or doubt. You have what it takes to conquer your dreams and goals. Effulgent: shining all the brightness from the smiles, positive energy, and inspiration to those who cross my path. I am the champion of goodness, and you are too. Ambitious: always have intrinsic motivation to be successful and the desire to achieve your goals. Unique: remaining confident in your authentic self, focused on being your best self, and knowing you are not in competition with anyone else. Let’s face it, there is no one like you and that is a beautiful thing. Tenacious: showing determination and persistence by any means necessary. Simply because you deserve it, you can achieve and ultimately maintain it. Youthful: exuding enthusiasm to take better care of your mind, body, and spirit daily. So, what does BEAUTY mean to you? Drop it in comments on IG @allthingsdr.j.beauty or FB: All Things Dr. J. Beauty. Be sure to visit us for more Beauty highlights via www.drjbeauty.com

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{ HEIDI’SBYLAW { { SHIFT+CONTROL BEAUTY DR J} } } “Bodacious: be bold, to go for all the things you desire without hesitation, fear, or doubt.”

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LIVING WITH CHRONIC PAIN HOW TO HEAL NATURALLY BY ALANA CAHOON

It may be from an injury, an illness, or from an unknown source, but living with chronic pain can sometimes feel like … hell on earth. I was in a car accident at the age of 16. I was skipping school on the Friday before spring vacation. Bad idea! It was a beautiful spring day, and a group of friends decided to go to the beach. Lucy and I were sitting on the trunk of a friend’s car when the driver got in and started the engine. I thought this would be a good time to get off the car but just as I began to slide off, she began to drive forward.

my ability to walk and talk and study. And then as a typical teenager, I forgot all about the situation. I dedicated myself to studies and preparing to go to college. The past was in the past. But today I live in chronic pain, and have lived this way since the age of 26. I’ll never forget the moment when my back locked on me! That’s when I discovered through an MRI that I had slipped discs in my back and neck. In

A week had passed before I gained consciousness. It was Easter Sunday. And people were there bringing me chocolate. Only I had no appetite. I spent the next six months regaining 286

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Your research may even lead you toward a new career path, as it did with me!

#2 Source Wound

My story illustrates how I discovered that the source of my pain was from an accident that happened many years prior. Knowing this leads you toward not only healing the pain, but the initial trauma. #3 Compassion You must be kind to yourself! I suggest you do this in every area of your life. Pain can sometimes prevent you from doing the things that bring you joy, and awaken the inner critic. Resist the urge, and instead lean into it. Bring natural healing with loving kindness.

Now if I had some background in physics or engineering I’d probably be able to describe what had happened in a more scientific way. Essentially, I did not land on my feet but on my head. I recall a brief moment of consciousness in the front seat of the car with my head bleeding on my other friend’s lap. The next thing I knew, I was in the hospital, on a metal table with strange doctors speaking in a foreign language standing over me.

#1 Education Gaining knowledge provides you with confidence and guidelines to work with. Whatever your pain is, look it up! Search under reputable sources like Mayo Clinic or WebMD.

fact, I was told that I had lost the natural curvature in my neck. I have spent much of my life learning techniques to prevent, heal, and manage this source wound. If you are like me, and suffer from chronic pain, you may want to try out these techniques. Healing Naturally May you be inspired, find relief, and live a life of joy!

#4 Relaxation Breathe deeply. Relax. Be in the present moment. Meditate. This is a natural remedy for any kind of pain! The following meditation incorporates natural healing energy. Your very own! Meditation As you close your eyes, and bring your awareness to your breath, following it



{ MIND, BODY, AND SPIRIT } “I hope that you, too are inspired! Let your pain be your teacher. Learn to heal naturally.”

as you breathe in, and as you breathe out, focus on where the pain is. If it is in your lower back, for example, bring your full attention to that area. Imagine the air that you are breathing going to that area, filling it with fresh clean air, healing it with your exhale. Imagine the air becoming healing energy. If you believe in a higher power, ask that its healing energy join yours. Imagine it moving into the area of pain, doing all the work. You simply relax and guide the energy.

PTs actually incorporate a little bit of chiropractic techniques in their work. But it’s far less aggressive. And you almost always walk away with homework as in physical exercises to strengthen and lengthen your body. You’ll also be given tips to avoid future incidents. # 8 Massage Therapy I have to admit this is my favorite! I come out feeling not only better

#5 Yoga Stretch. Breathe. Flow. Strengthen. Stretch. Meditate. Yoga is both a physical exercise and a mental practice. Both bring you into the present moment, and fully into your body! Most asanas will be perfect for your spinal health, but with any physical injury or pain, modifications may be necessary. Ask your teacher. And if so inspired, train to teach yourself! #6 Chiropractic This was the first modality that managed my back and neck injury. It has many positive aspects worth exploring. #7 Physical Therapy This is a practice I highly regard. Some 288

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physically but mentally relaxed and spiritually rejuvenated. Look for a massage therapist that is right for you. You may prefer a lighter touch or a more firm massage style. I’ve been seeing Adrian now for a year and look forward to it every month! #9 Nutrition While your diet may not be the source of your pain, it may impact it. Learn to

limit foods that increase inflammation like dairy. Stay at a healthy weight. Excess weight may add excess pressure. Take a look at any prescriptions you may be taking, and read their side effects. You might actually discover a direct link to persistent pain. # 10 Natural Health While all of the tips above may fall under this category, I’m giving it its own heading because my source wound was the motivation for me to become a Certified Natural Health Pr o f e s s i o n a l . Underneath this umbrella, I continued to quench my thirst for knowledge with studies and training in meditation, yoga, nutrition, reiki, energy healing, mindfulness, and exercise. I hope that you, too are inspired! Let your pain be your teacher. Learn to heal naturally. Alana Cahoon is the Amazon #1 Best Selling Author of Mindfulness, Mantras & Meditations: 55 Inspirational practices to Soothe the Body, Mind & Soul. www. AlanaCahoon.com.




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{ TRAVEL WITH AGNESS WINE }CELLARS } { FINANCIALLY SPEAKING } { SHIFT+CONTROL

PLAN A FINGER LAKES WINE TOUR NOW BY RANDY AGNESS

In the time before I starting winemaking we would often take a drive into the Finger Lakes. Be it for wine events like Naple’s Grape Festival, Riesling Festival in Canandaigua, or the Finger Lakes Wine Festival located at the Watkins Glen Super Speedway, we had unbelievable and very memorable times tasting a great number of wines in a short period of time. All of us has over the past year or more, miss visiting our favorite wineries due to the Covid 19 pandemic. Over this time, Finger Lakes wineries have been busy and are becoming even more famous in the process taking on both the national and worldwide all comers in wine competitions and submission of wines to rating services. And it’s not only just submitting, but winning the elusive and treasured gold and double gold medals along with best of varietal or best of show gaining significant international recognition. Or providing more than the Riesling to include Dry Roses and Cabernet Franc. The quality of the grape’s grown in across the vineyards has been the very best in 2019 and 2020 and showing up in the wine’s vintages being produced. One thing that has always necessary happens is trying find a place to eat before heading down the wine trail and when needing a break to catch a bit to eat. Now its always been an easy choice being a morning stop great

restaurants Simply Crepes being right on 332 or the Main Street making it a great starting point. If you’re not a fan of crepes, then you will quickly become one. And if you like crepes, you’ll love a vast variety of the different combinations for every possible tastet. As well as several outstanding restaurants depending on your appetite desires including the newly rebuilt Lake House, NY Kitchen as well as dining at the end of the tour for

Italian at Il Posto, or takeout at Thai by Night. Transforming meals paired the widest selection of Finger Lakes wines has been Kerrie Slater’s passion since joining NY Kitchen with a great supporting cast with great Riesling and red flights. Paul Guglimo, radio host and local Italian sauce producer, has recently been running a various interactive cooking classes exciting all those participating. Check the NY Kitchen website regularly for what’s going on. Operated by NY Kitchen, the Finger

Lakes Welcome center in Geneva on Rt 5 & 20 is open providing a variety of snacky options are available from all local producers and they have the capability to run wine tastings and of course this place is significantly beautiful and with a scenic view from the top of Seneca Lake where you even dip your toes into the prestine waters of relax in an Adirondack chair enjoying the sunshine. If you want more than 41 Lakefront Hotel (formerly the Ramada Geneva) offering a fantastic view of Seneca Lake while having a full breakfast menu and a place to return to after a day of tastings. And both being a great launching off point to head either east or west along Seneca Lake wine trail. When finishing your tour, ending up in Geneva is a rather nice place to be. I can highly recommend Geneva on the Lake, the Belhurst Castle and Kindred Fare to enjoy absolutely delicious meals to cap the evenings activities. I stopped recently into the Ports Café on NY 14 South of Geneva and found quickly by locals as a hidden gem of a restaurant. More people have been coming to the FLX group of restaurants including FLX Table for a limited groups as a large family table farm to table restaurant. At this time of year, most of the festivals are done, but the Wine Trails have some memorable events including on ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ TRAVEL WITH AGNESS WINE }CELLARS } { SHIFT+CONTROL “. I find that a personal touch is vastly appreciated by our guests when stopping by for a tasting.”

Seneca Lake – Deck the Halls, and Cayuga Lake – Holiday Shopping Spree. And many of the individual wineries have scheduled fun events thru the end of the year and others have cancelled events due to the serious nature of the latest Delta variant of the Covid virus. This makes planning even more important before you just head out. If you’re working with a limo or bus company discussions about the locations and number of locations should be verified. It’s not that the wineries are closed, just the timing of the visit. Like all other businesses, the ability to hire enough employees to staff the tasting room. The goal is try and level out the flow 294

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of visitors against peak demand. It’s not unusual to see even the owners of the wineries in the tasting room helping out serving those visitng. Personally, We’re a rather small winery and it’s not uncommon is see me pouring and chatting with our visitors be it at the winery or area restaurants. Visitors find it quite astonishing chatting with a winemaker telling stories and answering questions. I find that a personal touch is vastly appreciated by our guests when stopping by for a tasting. That had been always been the case with our on-site wine shop tasting or at off-site events and festivals since beginning

our operation as we started without a permanent home. Need help planning your wine tour – try the Finger Lakes Tourism Alliance, consider reviewing the various wine trails, but also look at the growing number of startups like Agness Wine Cellars to try something new.. I have been trying to help by telling everyone wanting to visit about the beauty of traveling the rolling hills and valleys of the Finger Lakes along the lakes with the extraordinary scenic views of the vineyards expectally during the fall havest season.


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Agness Wine Cellars Tasting Room

NOW OPEN 265 NY 14 Lyons NY 14489 AGNESS

@ Toganenwood Estates

A Tradition of Excellence Are you ready to go out and have fun again? OPEN: Saturday 10 - 2 pm, Sunday Noon to 5 pm


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GO EASY ON ME BY ROBIN DEWIND

My daughter came downstairs with her phone in hand and made me abruptly stop what I was doing to listen to Adele’s new song on YouTube. I was annoyed and impatient and trying to get ready for the new day. I love Adele but not at 6:30 in the morning. Her dramatic voice was booming out as I sipped my coffee. While listening to the song, the refrain caught my attention. “Go easy on me.” My daughter explained that the lyrics were about the breakup of the singer’s marriage and the pain of explaining her decision to her young son. My teen was involved in her own soul-crushing breakup which was probably motivating her enthusiasm to share the song at such an early hour.

asking for forgiveness, she simply said “go easy on me.” I have spent my life being hard on myself. No wonder the thought of asking to ‘go easy’ took me by surprise. Putting unrealistic standards on yourself is a safe place to hide. No one can criticize you for not trying. The reality is we all want and need a little grace. We live in a society that says its okay to not be perfect, but in our imperfect moments we are judged. Pointing the finger and casting doubt feels good, temporarily. It is protection from having to look at our own ugliness.

Our Friday mornings are usually not this deep. Rides, practice schedules, weekend plans and ‘what are we eating for dinner’ conversation usually gets us to the garage. The drive to school can be silent.

If we own our decisions, we might be able to go easier on others. Most of the time, we are not ready or willing to do that. Flaws are messy and complicated, and no one wants to see them on Facebook. It is why we have filtered our lives for the outside world. We do not let anyone see our pain. How many “friends” know what is really going on in our lives. Adele may have changed that.

This was the most we had talked without “talking” about the boy in days. We played the song a few more times and chatted about why so many people were reacting to it. By the time the evening rolled around it was obvious, Adele had touched a nerve with 34 million people. Everyone on Twitter was apparently crying. Her unexpected pain and honesty were disarming. She was simply asking for a little empathy, as she reflected on her breakup. There was no bitterness, anger, or resentment. She was reaching out in love and owning her hard decisions. She chose herself first and instead of

She broke up her family, chose her own happiness and wrote a song about it. Instead of sounding selfish it felt relatable. Admitting vulnerability is painful. Fall is almost over, and my patio furniture must be moved inside. I am saddened by the thought of winter, so I am leaving it sit out, if only for another week. I am holding on because the new season frightens me. What will work look like, can my clients survive, how much Netflix can I watch, how much cold monotony can I stand? My daughter will be leaving soon. I cry for no reason; in the bleachers or the car as I watch her walk into school. She

drives me crazy and there are days I want to scream, go to college already! Then I stop and take a deep breath. I will miss her. I already miss her. Now I must figure out what to do with my life. It scares me. I am losing my mother a little each day to Alzheimer’s. It is death by a thousand cuts. I hate this disease and what it has done to the smartest woman I know. I cling to the good days and protect her from the bad. She does not know I’m her daughter anymore. She has no memory of me, but she always says, ‘I know I love you’ and I am grateful. We are all parting with someone or something a little bit each day. A marriage, a career, our normal way of life. It feels impossible to share without fear. That is why people cried. Finally, someone was real and unafraid to ask for a little kindness while she figured it all out.My ‘Adele moment’ came 15-years ago when I also chose my own happiness over a vow. I was incapable of sharing my decision to break up my family with anyone. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I left with a toddler in tow and a decision that would impact her forever. The choice was mine and I do not regret it. I try to go easy on her. Leaving did not make me happier; it just gave me the chance to try to be. I have learned that opinions, questions, and judgement are for people who are still too afraid. I will go easy on them. It has taken years for me to get here. So go easy on me. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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FINALLY, SOMEONE WAS REAL AND UNAFRAID TO ASK FOR

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CONTACT ROBIN DE WIND TODAY! I ROBINDEWIND@GMAIL.COM


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TO BOOST OR NOT TO BOOST BY BREANN MORRIS

THAT IS THE QUESTION.

of a sales approach.

Wondering the difference between boosted posts and paid ads through Ads Manager on Facebook and Instagram? It really comes down to strategy and objectives. Before choosing to boost or create a paid ad in Ads Manager, ask yourself what you’re trying to accomplish with this specific campaign and who you’re trying to reach. For example, if you want audience engagement on your page or to develop your brand awareness, boosting a post is a great way to maximize visibility and grow your audience. On the other hand, to create more advanced ad types and campaigns, utilizing Ads Manager is most helpful in creating a customized paid ad.

When you boost a post, it’ll show up in your audience’s Facebook news feed as an ad. You can also select Instagram as an ad placement for your boosted post. To boost a post, you’ll decide on 3 key components:

Boosted posts— Boosted posts are existing posts you’ve posted to your timeline that are performing well, so you choose to boost them and place some money behind them in an effort to reach more people. Boosted posts differ from Facebook ads because they are not created in Ads Manager and don’t have all of the same customization features. Boosted posts are more likely to be shared because they are a Facebook newsfeed post rather than an ad which usually has more

1. Who you want to reach: You’ll

ad: Once you click boost and your ad is approved, people in your target audience will see your ad in their news feed for the duration you’ve set. Paid ads through Ads Manager— Facebook ads that are created through Ads Manager offer more advanced customization solutions. What MORE can I do with Facebook ads through Ads Manager than boosted posts? • Choose different ad placements: With Facebook ads through Ads Manager, you get the added benefit of choosing placements in a variety of different places: Facebook News Feed, Instagram Feed, Facebook Marketplace, Facebook Video Feeds, Fa c e b o o k R i g h t Column, Instagram Explore and Messenger Inbox. (See the link above for the specifics on each of these)

2. Your max budget: Determine exactly how much you want to spend over the course of your entire campaign.

• Use specific ad objectives: Choosing an ad objective early on will help you to focus on which campaign type best aligns with your current business goals. The full ads system in Ads Manager lets you choose from a wide range of objectives like store traffic, conversions, and lead generation, just to name a few.

3. How long you want to run your

• Maintain creative control: You can

pick a target audience of the type of people you want to connect with through choosing things like location, age and gender.

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{{SHE SHE TALKS SHIFT+CONTROL }} } HUSTLES {HUSTLES B. MORTALKS } “Wondering the difference between boosted posts and paid ads through Ads Manager on Facebook and Instagram? It really comes down to strategy and objectives.”

design an ad that fits your goals. For example, if you’re selling a product, create carousel ads, add specific descriptions and a call-to-action button that’ll drive more of your audience to take action. There are simply more creative tools offered within Ads Manager. • Use advance targeting capabilities: Ads Manager has access to advanced data for targeting and custom audience creation and allows you to measure your campaign. You can choose traits such as geographic location, gender, age, and specific interests for targeting. They also offer lookalike audiences, a 302

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feature that allows you to target new audiences like your existing one for growth opportunities. Now that you know the technicalities behind each option, you may be wondering which is better. My answer to that is it depends on your goals and objectives. Ask yourself what are you trying to accomplish? For instance, are you trying to capture information through targeting a very niche audience? I’d recommend Ads Manager for that. On the contrary, are you simply looking to build brand awareness through targeting folks who like your page and their

friends? That’s a perfect scenario for a boost. One of the things I like about boosted posts is that since it’s content already living on your page, it feels less like an ad and more like a conversation. That being said, I appreciate the innovation that Ads Manager provides when I need it! I think the perfect ad campaign consists of a little of both, based on your determined goals. Cheers to creating ads that bring your brand to life and tell a story that only you can tell! Bre



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TRUE FEAR, A ROOSTER TALE BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD

Can I just say that one will never know true fear, until being attacked by a rooster. This is something that stays with you for all of your days. How do I know this you ask? Well let me take you back, way back to the days of a girl who wore old hand me down overalls, boots and a dusting of dirt, grease and hay particles as a cloak. As a kid it was my job to collect eggs, and keep the chickens fed. Not such a hard task, you may say to yourself. But you probably have never been eye to eye with a rooster, his talons and pure fear in your heart. It didn’t start out this way, in fact I loved taking care of the chickens. As a lonely little girl who moved to an old country home where there was a mean old goat, a Jersey cow named sugar, and one ole white chicken running around alone. Of course she needed a friend. As two lost Souls wandering around, I made it my job to entertain this chicken. “Don’t chase that chicken!” I would hear from the same direction as the hammering, or the welder. “You will give that chicken a heart attack.” It was never said don’t figure out a way to catch the chicken, just don’t chase her. I’m not sure how long it took, hours or days in convincing the bird we were friends, but I did. The exact day is And will forever be etched in my head, as it has become folklore And handed down as the tale of the day I had a standoff with my mother at the front door, chicken in hand. I wanted to bring her inside. I had been 304

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left home with no bike, you see my brother and Shelly were sent to get my mom cigarettes, Because her car wouldn’t start.

inside, but from then on the chicken and I understood our friendship and thus began the beginning of my love for chickens.

Back then you show up at the gas station and let Harold know your mom needs smokes. He would smile, hand over the cigarettes, sometimes a lollipop, and utter “say hello to your mom, Shirley for me.” This time tho, I was left at

It was not too long after that that my dad Inherited a flock of chickens. We also received eggs to incubate in the cellar, where the fat fluffy cat Ashley was standing guard the day they began to hatch. Another tale for the books as he ate until his belly dragged upon the floor and tiny yellow fathers hung from his grin, like a badge of accomplishment. My mother again fell over ranting about “Kerry’s gonna kill this cat when he gets home!” Although he never did.

home. So I walked out back, picked up my chicken and proceeded up the creaky ole front steps to enter the kitchen. All would have been grand if my mother wasn’t pacing the floor having nicotine withdrawals waiting for her loot. So of course when she heard me staggering up the stairs, reaching for the door, she immediately came to see. I stood there for hours, listening to the horrors of what my mom was going to do to me when I put that chicken down, so I couldn’t. I Jist stood there. The chicken never did come

Time lapse to adult chicks, hens as well as roosters were hatched. When the roosters matured and became territorial it was time to thin the herd so to speak. Did you know chickens really do run around with their heads cut off. I learned that to be fact as I crept out of my bedroom window to see why I wasn’t included in the festivities. My brother still calls it the bloodbath massacre. He was there to help reduce the male population in the flock, and we were able to fill our freezer. I can still hear my mother’s voice “oh I’m not eating that, I’ll only eat store bought chicken!” And that’s exactly what she did. She wasn’t much of a farmer. She grew up in Rochester, on Joseph Ave. So the farm and her always had some underlying issue they needed to come


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KARMA SPEAKS }} {{ SHIFT+CONTROL “Can I just say that one will never know true fear, until being attacked by a rooster. This is something that stays with you for all of your days.”

to terms with. I could write tales of the city gal gone to the country, but that’s not today. Now that we had a freezer full of chicken, and one rooster left to protect his flock, you would think all was well on the home front. Wel, this guy took his job very seriously and I now became a threat to his ladies. My once simple task of go collect the eggs, make sure they have clean straw, was now the traumatic event I dreaded each and every day. His beady little eyes watching me sideways, to his puffed up chest and this long sharp daggers hanging off the back of his legs were all I could think about. Being attacked and hit with these razor blades and pecked at is enough to make 306

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a little girls heart beat right out of her chest,her legs run so fast, and her mind to replay a chicken so big attacking her, that from then on the smell of fear when entering the coop was enough to provoke yet another attack. The trauma, and anxiety, the disappointment in not completing a task. The doubt from the man who counted on you to “just feed the chickens.” Became panic attacks and failed attempts to show that rooster who’s boss. After a few lectures and me promising I wasn’t being lazy, I’m being attacked, my dad found out first hand for himself. Needless to say, the flock went to an all female hen house that day. And the fear still lingered there Every Time I opened

the coop door. I felt his presence there lurking waiting to attack. As time went on, the feeling became less. Never gone, just less. You don’t really know fear, until you are attacked by a rooster. Fast forward to this year.I once again have chickens, and along with hens come roosters. I inherited two initially. And I can now admit that I have also handed down the true essence of fear unto my niece Amelia, who came to pet the chickens and visit with aunt Karma. She left with a scratch on her cheek, crying in fear. The fear of a rooster attack. And we added a chicken to our freezer that day.


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HANDLE WITH CARE BY JUDI SWANSON

I read a story about Kristen Driemeier and Heather Steighorst, two Missouri teachers, who sent the following note home to parents that said “If your family is experiencing difficulties at home, I would like to provide additional support at school. If your child is coming to school after a difficult night, morning or weekend please text me ‘Handle with Care.’ Nothing else will be said or asked. This will let me know that your child may need extra time, patience or help during the day.” The teachers had gotten the idea from a website called “Teachers Pay Teachers” and used it to help support students and families. Parents and guardians would have a simple system to alert the teachers that the incoming student was struggling. What a powerful to show is compassion, understanding, and love. “Kindness begins with the understanding we all struggle.” Charles Glassman Handle with care is usually attributed to objects that are fragile and could easily be broken or damaged. When you have knowledge that an item is fragile you handle it in the manner needed to keep it safe and to preserve the totality of the object. The idea of transferring this care to humans is powerful and helpful in a plethora of ways. There have been times where I felt fragile and need extra support or distance from those around me. I did not want to talk about what is going on so in order to let anyone know I was in a “handle with care” moment would require more than I could share or give. Sometimes I would sort through and take actions to give me what I needed and all was well. Other times the feelings would grow until they burst all over the place. Perhaps if I had set up a system for myself and all those in my circle where we could share we needed a “handle with care” situation might have helped the

person struggling and those around them to have knowledge so they could show caring. There also have been moments where I knew something was not right with someone in my life so I would have the internal talk of what to do. Where they okay, perhaps under the weather, should I say something, should I not. People have different levels of comfort when it comes to how support is shown to them as I have some friends who love lots of TLC and others who will clam up and hate (yes hate) if any TLC comes their way. I wanted to show support. Sometimes I was uncertain about how to show my care. Actions you can take if someone you know is struggling emotionally is to: 1. “Validate their emotions”. Listen really listen to what they are saying. Reflect the feelings you are hearing back to them. 2. “Just show up.” Yep just be there for them. Check in with them. Go for a walk, watch a movie, bring them a meal. Let them know you are there. 3. “Be a good listener.” Which goes back to number one. If you are listening, really listening to them they will know. 4. “Keep things confidential.” UNLESS they are talking about self-harm, suicide, or statements that concern you that they might be thinking of ending their life. If this happens reach take an action, call a hotline for guidance. Do something. The phone number for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 800-2738255. Otherwise you keep what they are talking about private unless they give you permission to do otherwise. 5. Other things include checking in with the person. Share the characteristics about them you admire. If needed offer practical

help. Offer to help them clean, do laundry and take care of a practice stuff. Steve Maraboli said “A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” Amazing humans I think it’s time we begin handling each ourselves and others with care. Now. No one wants to be struggling emotionally. No one. When we are struggling emotionally our brains experience pain. If you knew someone who received a physically injury most likely you would take an action to help. To be supportive. There is much prevention in our daily lives. Wearing seatbelts, brushing our teeth, looking both ways before crossing the road, eating healthy, getting some exercise. How about we include a preventive conversation for our emotions. So we can send a flare for help if we need it. For using “handle with care” (or some other cool code word) with people in your family, friends, work, school, or social activities. One text that sends up a flare for help. No questions asked. Your handle with care could mean others in your circle would “not to say or ask anything else. Extra time, patience or help is available.” For days where you are feeling isolated and lonely this can be a way to reach out for support. If what you need is to be alone with yourself and center it gives you the space to do that as well. We all desire different things when we are struggling. Humans are tough stuff. We take and handle a lot. Yet in our humanness there are times we are fragile. We need to be handled with care. May your handle with care with be with you.

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PARAMEDICAL TATTOOING BY SHARLYN MARQUEZ

Paramedical Tattooing/Restorative Cosmetic Tattooing is the art of tattooing flesh tone pigments into the skin or scar to blend, minimize, and conceal discolorations. It is a specialized area of Permanent Cosmetics that is also known as Medical or Paramedical Tattooing. -aestheticink.com

Instructor, causing a lot of damage to her already delicate skin. Stacie took it upon herself to teach this form of art the correct way. Her passion for this specialty left me speechless! As soon as I could, I signed up for her class. While other students passed this class effortlessly, I was struggling. It took me

offer 3D Areola to those ladies that desire it. Instead of quitting, I would take extended breaks from this class whenever it was too overwhelming for me. Today I can say, I am happy I did not quit! Although I am not at the point to offer this service yet, I am getting pretty close!

over a year to finish the class. There were times I really wanted to quit! I wanted to give up on my passion to help breast cancer warriors for my selfish reason: it was too hard! Eventually I came back to my senses and remembered why I started Blissful Image in the first place! It wasn’t to offer Permanent Brows/ Eyeliner and Lips (although I offer those services, it’s not my ultimate goal. I’m being honest.) My purpose was to

While taking this 3D Areola class, I came across more people that offer similar services. People like Jody Stoski, Eric Catalano and Mandy Sauler. They offer an abundance of different services such as Scar Camouflage, Realistic Areolas and other services of that nature. I found their work intriguing! I found that this specialty aligns perfectly with the vision I have for Blissful Image. This industry is not to be taken lightly, afterall one should not offer these types of services right after receiving training. People considering going into this field should take this very seriously and realise that they will forever be a student in this field. I am so excited to announce that I will be taking multiple trainings in this field. It will take me time to master a skill before moving on to the next training so I will not be offering these services in the near future, afterall I have not mastered the 3D Areola technique yet ( I’m working on it.) I will however in the near future start offering Radiation Marker Camouflage. That service will be complimentary! For people

When I first opened Blissful Image, it was always my intention to get into Paramedical Tattooing. I started the Permanent Cosmetic aspect to start a foundation, after all learning the basics of the industry is very important and required. I thought I was going to quickly get into the Paramedical aspect of it. I thought it would be an easy transition being that I already have over 10 years of experience in the medical industry and I have a degree in the medical field. Man was I wrong! From the perspective of someone who is not naturally artistic, it is not as easy as it seems. In 2019 I decided to take a Prerequisite class from Stacie Rae for 3D Areolas, afterall it has been on top of my goals to accomplish. I met Stacie Rae at a conference and I LOVED her story. Not only is she a Traditional Tattoo Artist, but she is also a double breast mastectomy recipient that received a very bad experience from an Areola Tattoo 310

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BLISSFUL IMAGE }} {{ SHIFT+CONTROL “I feel that Paramedical Tattooing is a great alternative for people who simply prefer not to go through another surgery.”

that do not know what a radiation marker is: Radiographers often use small permanent black ink tattoos in order to position a patient underneath the radiotherapy machine. These small tattoos are positioned at the patient’s breast bone, and at points around the thorax. - https://theconversation.com I am looking forward to learning more about this aspect of the Permanent 312

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Cosmetic industry and look forward to the day I will be able to start performing these types of services. I feel that Paramedical Tattooing is a great alternative for people who simply prefer not to go through another surgery. Afterall, realistically those types of surgeries are not minor and the percentage of complications that can occur/difficulty of recovery are not minimal. I have seen my cousin’s struggles during her breast reconstruction surgery.

She elected out of her last surgery for her breast to be completed because it was too much for her. She was exhausted from the surgeries. Had I known then that realistic areola tattoos existed, I would have paid for her to have them done even if it meant flying out of Rochester, NY! Unfortunately she passed away a few years ago, otherwise her desire to feel like a complete woman would have come true.


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{ WELLNESS 360 }

THE IMPORTANCE OF BALANCE IN YOUR BY BETH PARRY

Over one-third of Americans aged 65+ fall each year. With each fall that happens, your risk of future falling increases. The fear of falling also significantly increases your risk of future falls. For many of us, falling does not feel like a risk factor at a younger age. The best defense of protecting our “future” self is being proactive at a younger age. Let’s first discuss the body’s process of keeping balance. The body has 3 primary sources of balance; proprioception, hearing, and eye sight. You can now see why aging can significantly impact our balance. Let’s talk a minute about proprioception. Proprioception is specialized sensory receptors on nerve endings throughout the body. They are found in muscles, tendons, joints, and the inner ear. These receptors relay information about the motion or position of our body in space. Proprioceptors detect subtle changes in movement, position, tension, and force within the body. Multiple diagnoses will 314

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interfere with your proprioception, aging being number one—brain injuries from stroke, Parkinson’s Disease, ALS, Huntington’s Disease. Arthritis, including disc degeneration, post joint surgery, or neuropathy, are all factors with proprioception loss. Your inner ear plays a significant

role in balance. Ever had an episode of vertigo? How did it impact your balance? I am assuming significantly, along with motion sickness. Your inner ear hosts a series of canals, fluid-like substances, and hair-like follicles that control that “balanced” feeling. The most important part of the inner ear is

the utricle and saccule that have tiny particles that tell your body the position of your head in relation to gravity. Sometimes these tiny particles come out of the canal, causing significant episodes of dizziness and whirling feelings. A diagnosis of Meniere’s disease can affect your inner ear leading to chronic dizziness. L a s t l y, y o u r eyesight can also play a significant role in balance. Yo u r e ye s i g h t provides input from your eyes to your brain. When your vision is imbalanced from one eye to another, it causes conflicting signals from each eye to the brain. The directional pulling in your eyes can stimulate nystagmus, which can cause significant dizziness. When your eyes are imbalanced, it can feel motion, even when sitting still. While there are multiple diagnoses for eye strain, nystagmus, and sight loss, aging is still the number one factor. Many extrinsic factors stimulate


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“The body has 3 primary sources of balance; proprioception, hearing, and eye sight. ”

imbalance like poor lighting, uneven surfaces, lack of awareness of your surroundings, medications, and improper footwear. So, let’s push forward to some preventative things you can do to maintain your balance. While it is not possible to completely guarantee a fall-proof life, you can substantially lower your risk of falling a few different ways. Physical Therapy is a great place to start. Physical therapy uses evidence-based exercises to improve your strength and keep you on your feet! You are more likely to fall if you are fatigued. Physical therapy is a safe and effective way to build your resilience and stamina. There are many ways to place you in a balance compromised position to retrain your body, your proprioceptors, and your brain to improve your neurological connections. Here are some ways Physical therapy can help you improve your balance: • CORE STRENGTH Core strengthening is a great way to maintain stability with your day-to-day living. The stronger your core, the more balanced you become. Unfortunately, core strength does not mean crunches. We mean functional core strength. Learning to engage and strengthen your pelvic floor and transverse abdominis. 316

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• BALANCE TRAINING: You can improve your balance with repetitive balance training. By progressing your exercises from easy to more challenging, you can retrain your brain and body to maintain balance. Starting with moving your feet close together to activities on one leg, closing your eyes, or moving around dynamically. The more you practice, the more your fall risk decreases. • GENERALIZED STRENGTHENING: Having strong muscles as you age benefits you in multiple ways: improve your metabolism, improve your day-to-day activities, improve your balance, and most of all, improve your bone density. So next time you are doing squats, smile and remember the stronger your muscles…, the better your fall risk! • POSTURE: As time goes on, our posture becomes more forward. Our shoulders roll forward, our backs curve forward, and our head slowly moves forward. You may not be thinking about this in your 30’s, but I will say, with all of the people on their cell phones and computers, I see many postural dysfunctions in people at very young ages. The more forward you are, the more

gravity works against you, not with you. Physical therapy can help strengthen the correct muscles to improve your posture and decrease your fall risk. Wellness 360 Physical Therapy and Massage Therapy is a great place to start for your physical therapy needs. We support your needs with one-on-one physical therapy treatments individualized for your needs. We also support your long-term goals by offering affordable group fitness classes in-studio, on-demand, and via zoom. We offer classes to support your aging needs, including bone health strengthening and balance and fall prevention. Find out more at www.wellness360fitness.com.


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THE PEOPLE PLEASER’S GUIDE TO THE HOLIDAYS BY KAITLYN VITTOZZI

My Sunday mornings are sacred. I work Monday-Saturday. Sundays are personal, quiet, and commitment-free. As a woman who is almost always scheduled, that unscheduled time is the rejuvenation I need. Someone had reached out to see if I would want to go running on a Sunday morning- I thought about it, and politely declined saying that my Sunday mornings were my only unscheduled time. He persisted. In that moment, this yoga teacher felt a wave of rage wash over her. How dare someone try to interrupt my down time? As the rage subsided, I found myself sitting on the couch, trying to write up long texts, explaining myself. Second guessing myself – maybe I should go, maybe I should give up just this one Sunday, I wouldn’t want anyone to think I was rude, unkind, or unaccommodating. I do need the exercise. The rabbit hole continued, if I say no he may even tell clients not to support me. I’ll be broke and alone. Does this spiral sound familiar at all? Guilt was what I was feeling. A feeling of not doing enough. And then the realization finally came to me. This is people pleasing behavior. I am a people pleaser and totally missed that I do this for the last how many decades of my life? As I looked at my overbooked social calendar, I knew I had to make some shifts, to avoid running myself ragged into 2022. The holiday season is one

of my favorite times of the years – how can I help myself enjoy it? How can I put my needs first? We all know many of us are too busy. Easily pulled into over-committing. To be realistic, if your people pleasing tendencies run deep – you really may need to do some deep inner work to get to the root of it. This article in no way replaces that. A therapist or life coach can help peel back some of those layers to really help you learn to love and support yourself, all twelve months of the year. Here are a few shifts I’ve made for myself over the years, I hope they work for you. 1. What do you want? This is the most important step. I see a lot of women, with all the scheduled selfcare in the world, without a whole lot of joy in their lives. Set a sheet of paper or journal out on a table with a writing utensil. Before you even start to answer the question, move your body! Go for a walk, take a yoga class, kickbox, dance, something that makes you huff and puff a bit. Now, coming from a more embodied self, write down what you want for your holiday season. Calm? Connection? More laughter? Fun? You can journal as much as you like but try to whittle the essence of it down to a word or a sentence that can serve as a mantra for the next few months. When the tug of committing to something you don’t want to creeps in, repeat your mantra to yourself. Example: Your why is “Peace at home.” When you get asked to participate in the annual cookie exchange that really is more of a chore than fun, and you envision

yourself rearranging the whole day for it, running in after a few drinks it and needing to quickly feed everyone at home, maybe even getting short with your spouse- remember your mantra and politely say you can’t make it. Alternatively, if you want to go but you’re getting asked to man a carpool for someone else, do what you want! 2. When is your you time? Without time to take care of yourself you won’t be able to accomplish the why. The saying no is the hardest part. Make some non-negotiable self-care time. Whether it’s three minutes of meditation in the morning or ten minutes of a walk, don’t let yourself get put at the bottom of your own to-do list. In the dark morning hours, sometimes I’ll even just sip my coffee in the quiet and admire my own Christmas lights in the living room. If you have time and space carved out for yourself that you can feel happy and confident about, when someone asks you to show up to something else, you have a reason to say, “no thanks.” I get it – sometimes it seems selfish or even flat out impossible to carve out some time for yourself, but once you get in a daily groove of it, it becomes a non-negotiable. 3. Drop the guilt. Some years our family goes out to dinner for Thanksgiving. Personally, I love the tradition. A full house can be wonderful for dinner, but a lot more work and we all usually end up eating ourselves sick because it’s food.all. day. I have several friends, whose ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ LIFE IN BALANCE } SHIFT+CONTROL “Sundays are personal, quiet, and commitment-free. As a woman who is almost always scheduled, that unscheduled time is the rejuvenation I need.“

opinions I’ve never asked – but have replied “you’re not supposed to go out to dinner for Thanksgiving!” If someone has limiting beliefs, it’s not your problem. Don’t let them get under your skin. You’re on different paths. Let them work through their own supposed-to’s on their time, not yours. Now go craft or sip a hot toddy. There’s no need to replay the conversation in your head. Your time is too valuable. If you can’t discharge that negative energy, try doing some 320

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hard, fast exercise like a short sprint or jumping jacks. “If we want to live a Wholehearted life, we have to become intentional about cultivating sleep and play, and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth.”- Brené Brown At the end of the day, saying no did not feel good. But it made me a healthier, happier, and more well-

rested version of myself. It prevented me from lashing out at any family members during Sunday dinner, and as my dog rested on my feet that Sunday morning, I knew this was exactly where I was supposed to be. It’s not too late to change your life this year. Call Kaitlyn for a free phone consultation to see how you can use yoga therapy to become healthier and happier. (585) 200-7209 or TozziYoga. com for more information. .




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DO CLEANSES REALLY CLEANSE? BY CINDY DECAROLIS

Google “detoxification” and you will get more than 200,000,000 results for detox cleanses, diets, teas, supplements, and books. A lot of people are making a lot of money selling cleanses. Traditionally, the word “detox” referred to a medical procedure to eliminate dangerous, often life-threatening quantities of alcohol, drugs, or poisons from the body. Recently, the term has been used to market products meant to purge toxins from the body to the health conscious.

Everything I have said above aside, I recently did a three-day juice cleanse at the cost of $200 for 18 juices. I did the juice cleanse primarily to have a personal experience from which to write this column. During the juice cleanse you drink six

According to the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, there is no convincing evidence that detox diets or cleansing programs actually remove toxins from your body or improve health. Both the Food and Drug Administration and the Federal Trade Commission have taken action against some companies selling detox products because they contained illegal or harmful ingredients and / or made false claims that the products could treat disease. Many people will do a cleanse to lose weight. The reason cleanses result in weight loss is due to the extremely low calories. However, it is mostly loss of water and sodium and not fat. Therefore, the weight is usually gained right back when you eat again. Doing a cleanse doesn’t teach you good habits, so most people revert back to unhealthy habits. Cleanses can lead to a yo-yo dieting cycle that stresses the body.

cold-pressed juices a day for three days, with a light dinner like a vegetable soup or greens for dinner. It was easy not to eat during the fast because it is a lot of juice and it is filling. During the first day I had a headache that was about a nine on a scale of 10. The second day I had a mild headache

all day, more like a four. At the end of day two I didn’t eat anything for dinner because I was so full from the juice and actually, starting to feel a little sick from all of the sugar from the apple and pineapple in the juices. The third day I felt better, clear-headed and no headache. I also felt a little less bloated. However, the juices tasted even sweeter and I had to force myself to finish them. Late that afternoon I started to have diarrhea – completely liquid and a kind of orange / yellow color from the carrots and pineapple. This continued for about six or seven hours – good thing I didn’t have to leave the house. (Sorry, gross, but you need to know!) I am not trying to dissuade you from doing a cleanse, if you feel that is right for you. And fresh, raw, vegetable juices can be incorporated into a healthy diet. I have a juicer at home and do use it occasionally. Usually when I have vegetables that are a little past their prime, but not yet too far gone to consume. My favorite combination is celery, cucumber, lemon, cilantro, and ginger. I don’t add apple or other sweet fruit. Also, I really like fresh squeezed grapefruit juice during the winter. Dr. Andrew Weil says “The best way to detoxify is to stop putting toxic things into the body and depend upon its own mechanisms.” I couldn’t agree ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2021

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{ BLISSFUL BALANCE } “Traditionally, the word “detox” referred to a medical procedure to eliminate dangerous, often life-threatening quantities of alcohol, drugs, or poisons from the body.”

It is also important to note that detoxifying, or minimizing your toxic load, is not just about what you eat and drink. Everything that you put onto your skin is absorbed into the blood stream and everything that you breathe in is absorbed into the body as well. Most of the products that we use for personal care and in our homes are filled with toxins. Following are some of the brands that I use because they are cleaner: • Toothpaste and soap – doTerra OnGuard and Dr. Bronner’s 324

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• Skin care products and cosmetics – Eminence Organics, doTerra, BeautyCounter • Home cleaning products – doTerra OnGuard and doTerra Abode cleaning lines • Laundry – doTerra OnGuard detergent and wool dryer balls (dryer sheets are one of the most toxic products in your home and one of the worst for the environment.) • Candles – I diffuse doTerra essential oils instead of burning scented candles. • Perfume – I use doTerra essential oils for fragrance.

At Blissful Balance LLC our mission is to help you live life healthier. You can follow us on Facebook @ blissfullbalanceroc and Instagram @ blissfull_balance. Listen to Blissfull Balance’s podcast on Spotify. Contact me at cindydecarolis62@gmail.com for health coaching. If you would like to order any of the doTerra products I mentioned please visit my website: https://www.doterra.com/US/en/site/ blissfullbalance or contact me for a complimentary consultation. Namaste


“Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.” - Buddha At Blissful Balance our mission is to help you to live life healthier. Let us help you to author your own health. Offering wellness workshops, individual health coaching and essential oils.

Please contact us for a complimentary consultation 585-532-6060 or cindydecarolis62@gmail.com www.blissfullbalanceroc.com Facebook @blissfullbalanceroc Instagram blissfull_balance


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TRACKING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH BY BONNIE FLOYD

In our society, it’s very common for us to spend enormous amounts of time, as well as money, looking after our physical health statuses. We’re careful to purchase organic produce, to weight ourselves on a regular basis, and to take our daily multi-vitamins. We allocate time for physical activity, whether by going to the gym, playing individual and/or team sports, or simply walking around the block for exercise.

questions about our daily habits and health practices. They carefully review our family medical histories.

We make sure to have annual physicals with our primary care providers, as well as to complete routine screening examinations, including mammograms, pap smears. and colonoscopies. If necessary, we take our prescription medications when needed, for a shortterm illness, or a chronic condition. We routinely schedule appointments to have our eyes examined, and our teeth cleaned.

However, for most of us, the concept of having an annual check-up for our mental health status appears somewhat foreign, even intimidating.We find it very difficult to comprehend that we would schedule an annual assessment of our mental health and well-being right?

Just as important as the proactive steps that we take to guard our physical health, we carefully avoid habits and practices that are known to be deleterious to our health. Of course, this includes not smoking cigarettes, avoiding excessive drinking, refraining from eating unhealthy foods, and limiting unnecessary weight gain. While it is very important to take excellent care of our physical health, it’s also essential to be regularly mindful of our state of mental health. The concept of having an annual physical is easily understood to us; our primary care physicians evaluate our overall physical health status.They ask us detailed

Our primary care physicians also inquire about any problematic symptoms that we may possibly be experiencing, as well as how long we’ve had such symptoms, their relative intensity, and their duration. They prescribe a course of treatment to address such symptoms, as well as provide a prognosis.

As a clinical health psychologist, I’ve received specialized training that highlights the critical role that our emotional well-being plays, both In the development and the course of diverse types of physical illnesses. I’ve chosen to subspecialize in maximizing psychosocial adaptation to chronic illness. My clinical experiences have shown that emotional factors are critically important to predicting how well diverse individuals will uniquely respond to the multiple demands of coping with chronic illness.Pre-existing diagnoses of anxiety or depressive disorders will impact how well individuals are able to deal with the long-term challenges of continued medical conditions. Personality characteristics will also exert

a profound influence on the ways in which individuals react to receiving their initial medical diagnoses, how they will choose to react when their symptoms possibly worsen, and the coping strategies that they employ when illness impacts their pre-existing lifestyles. I’ve spent many years observing the significant impact of emotional factors on overall adjustment to illness. As a result, I’m convinced that all of us need to regularly take inventory of our mental health and well-being. Physicians will agree that it’s easier to prevent an illness, than it is to treat one. I strongly maintain that there’s a parallel effect for the development, as well as the treatment, of mental health difficulties. It’s much easier to successfully treat symptoms of anxiety and depression when they are relatively milder. Failing to address symptoms of emotional distress at a less serious state of development will ultimately require utilization of much greater resources, of both time and money. In addition to taking excellent care of your physical health, stop to think about the current status of your mental health. Are you basically satisfied with your quality of life? Do you have meaningful, mutually supportive relationships? Are you engaged in the type of work that you find valuable and rewarding? Do you allocate adequate time for rest and relaxation? Do you make sure to budget time for hobbies and recreation?

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{ MENTALLY THINKING} } { SHIFT+CONTROL “More days than not, do you awaken with a sense of purpose in your life? Do you have interesting, meaningful ways to spend your time? ”

Furthermore, it’s important to periodically assess your level of selfesteem. Are you genuinely struggling with the same types of areas repeatedly? Have you truly made peace with your past, if it’s necessary to do so? Are you perhaps struggling with any form of addiction, whether it be to alcohol and/or other substances, working, 328

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eating, shopping, engaging in sex, or gambling? More days than not, do you awaken with a sense of purpose in your life? Do you have interesting, meaningful ways to spend your time? Are you basically satisfied with where you happen to be at this point in your

life, or are you always thinking that happiness is yet to emerge, at some future point? It’s certainly critically important to take excellent care of your physical health. While doing so, please don’t needlessly neglect your overall mental well-being.



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FROM WIFE TO WIDOW IN FIVE EASY STEPS BY KATHY GLEASON AND STEPHANIE KENDRICK

STEP ONE: EVENT Life was good – well, as good as it can be. Our finances were intact, our kids were grown and, most of all, my husband and I were good friends. He was just finishing his lunch when I realized he had stopped talking mid-sentence. In the instant my eyes moved from the TV to his face, I was one step closer to being a widow. STEP TWO: DIAGNOSIS Mere hours later as Tom rested comfortably on the anti-seizure meds given to him, I awaited results from diagnostic tests. Four words – Glioblastoma Multiforme Type IV – moved me immediately to the next step, as I absorbed the doctor’s remaining words. “Aggressive, unpredictable, incurable. Maybe a year.” STEP THREE: TREATMENTS My Google calendar transformed. Gone were my meetings, my lunches, my activities – replaced and augmented by new experiences of radiation, chemo, MRI, clinical trial, bloodwork (repeat daily).

calling hours, feeding the mourners after the funeral – wait! Why am I the event planner extraordinaire here? I’m the WIDOW! Who is going to take care of ME?! FOUR: REALIZATION Grief is not a “get over it” condition. It is a journey – full of stones, potholes, speed bumps and an occasional sinkhole, too. Realization = I will Grieve for the rest of my life. THREE: ADAPTATION Open eyes every morning, put feet to floor, shower, dress and move on and out. Whatever it takes to get through the day. TWO: ACCEPTANCE This is now my life. Whatever I choose to make it and whoever I choose to be – fierce, confident, advocate, mom, grandma and friend.

STEP FIVE: FINAL BREATH Eight months, almost to the day, I became a widow. Whew, was my first thought. Now I can … now I will … Now it will … NOW WHAT DO I DO???!?!?!?

ONE: ME, REDEFINED Oddly enough, this part of my journey took about eight months, almost to the day. Yet my journey is not over as, again, I believe I will grieve for the rest of my life. The grief itself does not change – I change. Most of the time, I believe I am moving forward with my life. Then I step into one of those camouflaged potholes and I must take a break from my routine – and allow myself to do what my mind and body are telling me I need to do. Cry, remember, regroup – or just take a nap. These moments have a unique, contemporary term – STUG (Sudden Temporary Upsurge of Grief). I really will have to try to insert that term into my daily conversation at some point.

STEPS REVERSED - COUNTDOWN FIVE: COMPLETE THE OBLIGATORY OBLIGATIONS Notifications, funeral arrangements,

I move through my days in what must appear to be, to most that know me, a perfectly normal “me.” And some days that is true. Other days, I might experience

STEP FOUR: QUALITY OF LIFE With the pronouncement of nothing more to be done my mind turned to quality of life. Resume his daily coffee – who cares what effect caffeine has? Enjoy this piece of pie, sweetie – and we will increase your insulin to mitigate the effects. You want to sleep in the recliner with the TV on all night – go for it.

a STUG (see what I did there?), pause for a moment, take a few deep breaths, and continue. I have been able to bring myself to this point in my personal grief journey. Many, many others continue to struggle with the anger, depression, and a myriad of other emotions. These people need us. They need us to listen, to mention their lost loved one by name, or merely to just be with them in silence. There are many treatments for grief, from reading or going on a vacation to seeing a therapist. Why is there no hard and fast process to get over grief? Two basic reasons: (1) Everyone’s grief is different and (2) Grief is not something you GET OVER. So, stop insisting someone do it and stop whispering behind their back that they just need to ‘get over it.’ You get THROUGH it, if you can – it may take weeks, it may take years, or it may take the rest of your life. The most we can hope for in our grief is to learn to adapt, to build a new routine, a new persona, a new life that includes our grief. This goal is realistic and, once achieved, or even close to reaching it you will find your grief easier to bear. You then learn to build on that, and eventually you can look back and feel so proud of your journey. --“Grief does not define me but it has transformed me.” Shannon Brooks Kathy Gleason, with her daughter, Stephanie Kendrick, host a podcast, As I Live and Grieve, with a goal of making grief a more comfortable topic of conversation, such that we all learn to live with our grief. Download their podcast on your favorite podcast app, or visit their website at www.asiliveandgrieve.com.

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FIGHTING THE OPPRESSION OF WOMEN’S VOICES BY LISA WAGNER

Over the past several years, women’s voices, both creatively and verbally, are becoming increasingly oppressed. We are feeling the fear of men who see us embracing our power and scrambling to keep their status quo intact. As Gary Zukav states, “All suffering is created by the greed for power.” Laws are being passed to snuff out any control we have over our lives and our bodies. Meanwhile, the laws for men who assault women remain fiercely inadequate. So, what is IS our calling in this arena that strives to quiet our voices? Use them! Use them loudly, lovingly and with deep conviction and passion. It can take practice and may not feel comfortable for many who are used to staying in the shadows quietly, behaving as we’ve been expected to for centuries. It’s what we’ve been taught. It is up to us to break that cycle. Art has been a beautiful way for me to navigate my emotional frustrations in a man’s world. I could create a painting that emotes the defeat I have so often felt. With my abstract acrylics, I was able to write my feelings on the canvas and cover them up with the colors it makes me see. Even if it’s just the underpainting. Without any hint as to what I was striving at, women are drawn to those pieces inexplicably (to them). When I explain the meaning or impetus behind it, they resonate on such a deep level. I’ve done the same with my mental health series. Inevitably, those affected by the disease are always pulled in by them before they even read the title. When we reach down deep into the 332

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feelings we emit when we are being oppressed or falling victim to sexism of all shapes, sizes and blatant overtures we can almost always relate to another time we were made to feel small and insignificant. That we need to “know our place.” This is an opportunity for us to discover our own strengths and voices. For victims of abuse, this takes incredible bravery to achieve. Yet, it inspires us to do the same. Their ripple is like a tidal wave we cannot ignore. We are being called to honor that and stand united. We are a force to be reckoned with. One of my favorite authors, Marianne Williamson speaks of this in her bestselling book, “A Woman’s Worth.” She so beautifully writes, “When a woman rises up in glory, her energy is magnetic, and her sense of possibility is contagious.” We each need to set the bar high so that all women feel of value. That their light has the ability to shine as brightly as any other living being. What is your form of creativity that can be a contributing part of women gaining and living in their powerful light? Maybe it’s writing, drawing, job creation, cooking, party planning, floral arrangements, etc? The possibilities and means are infinite. Ask yourself right here and now what you can do to help others stand proudly in their light without shame or trepidation? If you can’t think of something immediately, that’s okay. It just means you may have to dig deep to find the answer. I highly suggest having a journal handy to record your ideas, dreams and thoughts. This allows your heart and mind to connect to your spirit fully and to clear it for

more gems of information. There are messages inside of you about your calling to greatness. The Universe is continually conspiring to help you achieve your deepest desires, especially ones that fit your true calling. You are always being asked to shine! We all benefit from that loving ripple; even our oppressors. No one can deny your light when it is a beacon. Light will always defeat the darkness. It is your authentic power. In The Seat of the Soul, Gary Zukav says, “Humbleness, forgiveness, clarity and love are the dynamics of freedom. They are the foundations of authentic power.” Plus, this lovely nugget; “Authentic power is building something inside of you, which you cannot lose and that no one can take from you.” No one! Begin today by feeling into your voice and how best you can use it to be of service. As each of us lives in our glory, we create giant permission slip for all others who were insecure or made to feel worthless again and feel as perfect as God intended them to be. We all have that much power when used in the service of light and love. It breeds compassion, empathy and the loss of shame for those help captive by its cruel grasp. Our vulnerability in proudly standing up for what is right is true solidity. You are filled with that magnificence. There will be those who you repel. They aren’t ready for their own truth. That’s on them. Never let it deter you or believe that it’s personal. It never is. This is their own insecurity that makes them feel uncomfortable in your strong presence. They are being asked to rise


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{ SHIFT+CONTROL } { MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE } “There will be those who you repel. They aren’t ready for their own truth. That’s on them. Never let it deter you or believe that it’s personal. It never is.”

water and sodium and not fat. Therefore, the weight is usually gained right back when you eat again. Doing a cleanse doesn’t teach you good habits, so most people revert back to unhealthy habits. Cleanses can lead to a yo-yo dieting cycle that stresses the body. Everything I have said above aside, I recently did a three-day juice cleanse at the cost of $200 for 18 juices. I did 334

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the juice cleanse primarily to have a personal experience from which to write this column. During the juice cleanse you drink six cold-pressed juices a day for three days, with a light dinner like a vegetable soup or greens for dinner. It was easy not to eat during the fast because it is a lot of juice and it is filling.

During the first day I had a headache that was about a nine on a scale of 10. The second day I had a mild headache all day, more like a four. At the end of day two I didn’t eat anything for dinner because I was so full from the juice and actually, starting to feel a little sick from all of the sugar from the apple and pineapple in the juices. The third day I felt better, clear-headed


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