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SANDRA DOORLEY: BEHIND THE SCENES

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“Abuse causes the loss of one’s self. It’s the reconnection to and redefining of one’s self that takes some time to figure out.”

T

his month’s edition of Rochester Woman Online has us thinking pink and purple for both Breast Cancer and Domestic Violence Awareness. We have an issue filled with incredible stories of survival, great services and resources and not one, but two amazing cover women!

Our Think Purple cover features the current Monroe Country DA, Sandra Doorley. In this edition we go behind the scenes with Doorley to talk about her new initiatives including a Heroin Addiction Task Force here in Rochester.

You can read all about it starting on page [24].

Then we have an incredible special insert this month on Breast Cancer Awareness with an inspiring woman named Cara Cappello. She is a breast “previvor”. Wondering what that means? Div into her amazing article starting on page [ ]. Plus, read about Elizabeth Wende Breast Care and why it is important to get a mammogram, sotries of inspiring survivors and more!

T T

ON OUR COVER

On our cover this month we have the Monroe Country District Attorney, Sandra Doorley photographed by RWO lead photographer Charlene Mann downtown Rochester at the County Courthouse and the DA’s offices.

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ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER EDITION 2019

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Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women.

Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic

magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com.

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{ {SHIFT+CONTROL COVER STORY } }

INTRODUCING DA SANDRA DOORLEY

BY LUCY SACCHETTI I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY

Elected in 2011, Sandra Doorley is the first female District Attorney in Monroe County history. In 2015, Doorley was reelected to her second four year term.

Prior to assuming office, Doorley served the District Attorney’s Office with distinction for nearly twenty years, successfully prosecuting thousands of high profile criminal cases and compiling an impressive record of victories. After joining the office in 1992, Sandra Doorley served under two consecutive administrations in the following capacities:

(2008-2011) • Homicide Bureau Chief (2008-

• Chief of the Felony DWI Bureau (20042005) • Deputy Chief of the Major Felony Bureau (2005-2008) • Second Assistant District Attorney (2008) • First Assistant District Attorney 22

2011) In January 2011, Sandra Doorley was honored by the

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER EDITION 2019

New York State District Attorney’s Association with the Robert M. Morgenthau Award in recognition for her “professional accomplishments, honesty, integrity and commitment to the fair and ethical administration of justice. In July of 2015, at the District Attorney’s Association of the State of New York Summer Conference, The New York State Prosecutor’s Training Institute awarded Sandra Doorley the Prosecutor of the Year Award. At a later conference, Sandra Doorley was sworn in as PresidentElect of DAASNY, placing her in line to be President in July of 2020.

Sandra Doorley is a graduate of the Syracuse University School of Law and performed her undergraduate studies at the University at Albany. She currently lives with her family in Webster.

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SANDRA DOORLEY

BY LUCY SACCHETTI I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY

INTERVIEW WITH SANDRA DOORLEY: BEHIND THE SCENES

In September, I had the opportunity to meet with Sandra Doorley, Monroe County’s District Attorney, about the ongoing heroin epidemic. She shared the efforts she has been making to mitigate its effects. As a mother of someone who struggles with addiction, taking the time to discuss her endeavors means a great deal to me.

Addiction affects not only the individual, but the people around them, who could be family, friends, and co-workers, for example, and it is considered a disease due to how it affects the brain’s structure and processing, causing the individual to have a noticeable change in behavior. As a result, oftentimes, loved ones of someone struggling with addiction will say that it feels like they are interacting with a completely different person—and the truth is, they sometimes are.

One of the biggest concerns about addiction is the possibility of overdosing. In 2018, there were 1,133 reported overdoses in Monroe County, 166 of which were fatal.

As of August, this year, there have been 559 reported overdoses, 82 of which were fatal. Unfortunately, not all overdoses are reported, and 94.4% of those who fatally overdosed were found to have fentanyl in their system, a substance that is sought out

for “a really great high.” These statistics are tragic, knowing that they affect more than just the individual; along with non-reported overdoses, there are also those who struggle with addiction who don’t overdose, which remains unreported as well.

One effort being enacted this year, Bail Reform, designed to both help those who cannot afford bail and to ameliorate the criminal justice system, had unintended

consequences: for those struggling with addiction who committed a less severe, non-violent crime, who are then allowed to be exempt from bail are at risk when released. Since they have had time away in jail, their system has lost tolerance; after being discharged, it is likely they will overdose, not realizing how much their tolerance has decreased. Before Bail Reform, those struggling with addiction were rerouted through Opioid Stabilization Part, informally

known as “opioid court.” Having a bail set prevented them from being able to leave while they waited for an open position in rehab, which can take a while. Though Bail Reform is a step toward addressing the inequity in the criminal justice system, now what do we do for those who need help who are falling through the cracks?

Sandra is pushing for the Marchman Act, now a part of Florida’s laws, that determines in cases of emergency whether or not someone suffering from addiction is of sound mind to exercise self-control; if not, authority can temporarily be given to another to make decisions for them, for example, a parent choosing to send their child to rehab.

Along with the Marchman Act, other efforts are being made to help Todd Baxter of the Monroe County Sheriff ’s Department, who is working on having Monroe County Jail, to be one of the best inpatient treatment facilities. Deputy Mike Ricotta talks to individuals after their overdose. And in 2017, Doorley created the Heroin Task Force.

Whenever an overdose occurs, fatal or not, law enforcement is now required to fill out information about it, 1) in order to keep track of the individual, 2) to find patterns and consistency between packaging, and 3) for cell phone numbers to track dealers.

With this information, which is relayed to the Crime Analysis Center, the task force can then begin a long-term investigation.

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“Here we came together at an intersection, though from different walks of life, and shared both a mutual concern and future hopes for changing the current perceptions and treatments of addiction.”

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{{ COVER COVER STORY STORY }} “Doorley created the Heroin Task Force. Whenever an overdose occurs, fatal or not, law enforcement is now required to fill out information about it.”

The task force includes persons from the Rochester Police Department and two investigators who work full-time. Since its beginning, it has made great progress—the numbers are mostly consistent, but they aren’t getting worse, and have gone down a little. The Medical Examiner’s numbers have improved also, but there is still is some discrepancy depending on the case.

I extol Sandra for her efforts in criminal justice reform and the opioid epidemic; since her initial term as District Attorney in 2011, she has been instrumental in the Heroin Task Force, and is now working toward implementing the Marchman Act.

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE: THE VOID IN BETWEEN In regard to criminal justice and the opioid epidemic, we as a county should always strive toward bettering the system and making efforts and communication more accessible.

In 2014, my son Vincenzo Zagari hit his rock bottom after being shot by a Monroe County Sheriff while running away from the scene of his shoplifting. After his arduous stay in the hospital, we were faced with a new nightmare: navigating through the criminal justice system.

Since the shooting, we have made great strides in regard to recognition in the community with what is needed, but at

that time, I felt as if the criminal justice system has failed us. The notoriety of his case stirred up an animosity and antagonism in people that bewildered me. I had been struggling for years, trying to just save my son from a deadly drug, yet was met with stalwart opposition wherever I turned.

When he was shot, my son was no longer seen as a young man struggling for his own life; rather, he was treated as if he deserved his predicament, persecuted daily by media outlets and treated horrifically. As a mom, words cannot describe my furious indignation. Numerous statements came from other parents, asserting that he should have died that day, or that the officer involved in the shooting should have aimed better

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER EDITION 2019

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COVER COVER STORY STORY }} } { {{SHIFT+CONTROL

{ COVER

“The task force includes persons from the Rochester Police Department and two investigators who work full-time.”

and shot him in the head. However, what people failed to realize was that my son actually did die on the ground that day.

At the scene, the EMTs refused to perform CPR on Enzo, who had been shot six times.

A quote from the ambulance report: “…

Even though he was in agonal distress, [an] EMT determined he did not need CPR at the time, [since] he was ‘just a heroin addict.’” Hearing this as a mom tore me apart—even in this critical moment, taking his last breath, he was deemed undeserving of CPR? Though many stated that they tried to save his life, private investigation and reports proved otherwise: people judged a young man simply because he made the wrong choice. This goes to show that the 30

stigma towards addicts is still prevalent and can have deleterious ramifications in an emergency. Reading those reports took my breath away and made me sick to realize how deep the anger ran in the community for these kids struggling to stay alive with a dangerous drug. After he was taken to the hospital, my identity shifted from a parent of a drug addict to a parent in the throes of the judicial system; my son’s identity changed as well: in a sense, his addiction ended that night, and he became a ward of the state—in other words, a criminal.

The damage from the bullets put my son in a coma, making him fight for his life as he was rushed into multiple surgeries over the

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER EDITION 2019

course of twenty-two days just to stabilize him. As a mom of a sick or injured child, the only thing I could do was cry and pray that he would survive what he had just gone through. I was not thinking about him facing the courts and going to prison, I just wanted him to live.

When he was deemed “well enough,” by the Monroe County Director of Nursing, he was relocated to jail without treatment while going through the hell that were his court proceedings. He wasn’t allowed bail in the beginning, and when we requested a hearing to set bail it was set at a million dollars per indictment leaving us paralyzed as to how to help him. Not receiving medical

R STORY }

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“I extol Sandra for her efforts

in criminal justice reform and the opioid epidemic; since her initial term as District Attorney in 2011, she has been instrumental in the Heroin Task Force, and is now working toward implementing the Marchman Act. ”

{ COVER STORY }

“Sandra is pushing for the Marchman Act, now a part of Florida’s laws, that determines in exercise self-control; if not, authority can temporarily be given to another to make

care or addiction treatment in jail and being unable to bring him home to recover, I agonized, wondering if he would even survive his proceedings. Additionally, the same drugs that he became reliant on from his addiction he now relied upon for his pain management.

At his first hearing, Enzo was unconscious when he was wheeled out, attached to an IV due to his pneumonia from collapsed lungs. His legs were swollen after losing a kidney and was barefoot. His initial appearance in such a weakened state made me gasp audibly; every sheriff present promptly put their hand on their gun, prepared and wary of my reaction.

The outside world was no better than the harrowing interior of the courtroom hearings—putting it nicely, I lacked support from the community. Not only was I slandered on the radio, but I also had co-workers I had known for years who turned up the volume on the radio to remind me. Daily routine existence was agonizing as well: while grocery shopping, other shoppers would slam their carts into mine. And traversing to and from the courtroom, I would be swarmed by the media, the assistant DA commenting on everything I was doing wrong as a mother, and once inside, the judge chastised me for an hour in front of the media.

I had been broken down and felt the courts actively opposed me personally. Enzo’s shooting was such a high profile case, that even though it brought such backlash from the community, it also opened a gate into seeing the culminating opioid epidemic through a different set of eyes: his case was around the time of the deaths of Matthew Stratton and Philip Seymour Hoffman, which began to awaken the public’s eye 34

into realizing that indeed opioids were an epidemic. But before I realized the path that had unfolded before me, I hated the judicial system.

I hated it.

Bridget Davis, the officer who shot Enzo, laughed about the case and never attended

When the elections came up, Patrick O’Flynn lost in the run for Sheriff. With Todd Baxter’s election, many of her efforts still went unnoticed, such as her advocacy for child abuse. Instead, Sandra was seen as someone who “wants to put people in jail.” Understanding how media can really skew the public’s perception of a personal experience, I decided to get to know Sandra as a person.

Throughout all this, my father became gravely ill. Though heart-wrenching, his illness forced me to stop dead in my tracks. Being his caretaker, I had to let go of my obsession with saving my son, after which, Enzo realized that I wouldn’t and couldn’t do his time for him. He was presented with an urgent choice: get sober or die.

As I stayed with my father until the moment of his death, once in prison, Enzo joined AA, headed by volunteers who really encouraged sobriety. This was a bittersweet time—though my father passed away, and Enzo was in prison, Life gave me the chance to view Enzo as my son again instead of a broken person I needed to save.

any of the hearings. I felt so violated that my deep-seated resentment shifted to include Sandra Doorley. At the time, I didn’t understand that Sandra worked in an office, making decisions based on cases, not personal interactions, nor did I know the difference she wanted to make in the community. During her time in office, she developed cancer, putting her through her own journey of personal transformation.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER EDITION 2019

In my life, interpersonally and culturally, I’ve been a witness to the changing times. It was easy for others to throw out blame against the wrongfully accused, which I experienced on both sides, censuring the judicial system and Sandra, but also receiving judgment from the community. Walking through the fire taught me that the judicial system’s seeming hostility wasn’t personal. It also taught me that not everyone survives tragedy, especially one like addiction. My Enzo made a choice to live but was forced to make that choice. I am so proud of him, and I hope that I can give love and understanding to those who are struggling with addiction and the judicial system. The solution to

{ COVER STORY }

n cases of emergency whether or not someone suffering from addiction is of sound mind to e decisions for them, for example, a parent choosing to send their child to rehab.”

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{ {{SHIFT+CONTROL COVER COVER STORY STORY }} } “Sandra was in a political position; I was in a personal one. And in spite of those differences, taking the time to learn about another’s perspective not only opened up my own world but also taught me newfound compassion and appreciation.”

overcoming the opioid epidemic is not “cracking down on crime” and having addicts serve sentences in prison; rather, the key to combating the shame that comes with addiction is compassion, empathy, and knowledge—encouraging research and making it accessible for families and communities, teaching that addiction is indeed a disease since it changes the structure of the brain and genuinely affects the ability to rationally assess a situation and make a logical decision. I hope that no one else has to endure what we did, and that my story will help change the narrative for addiction treatment and outcomes.

“When ‘I’ is replaced with ‘we,’ ‘illness’

becomes ‘wellness.’” -Malcolm X INTERSECTION It amazes me how the vast and varying roles people are in come together. Sandra was in a political position; I was in a personal one.

And in spite of those differences, taking the time to learn about another’s perspective not only opened up my own world but also taught me newfound compassion and appreciation. Of course, I felt alone: the impersonal structure of the system was designed for justice, which can often exclude the very human aspects of life. But once I met Sandra and realized how much the opioid epidemic breaks her heart, my perception of her changed because the

context of interaction changed—here we were, human to human, expectations and social roles set to the side for safekeeping.

Human to human, we grieved the far-reaching effects of addiction, which has increased the incidence of domestic violence, and all the families, friends, and communities who have been affected by it; here we came together at an intersection, though from different walks of life, and shared both a mutual concern and future hopes for changing the current perceptions and treatments of addiction.

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{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE }

WILLOW DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CENTER

BY MEAGHAN DE CHATEAUVIEUX

This October, and every October, we renew our commitment to our vision of a community free from violence, where healthy relationships thrive. We support survivors at every step of their journey to a safe and empowered life.

We know that survivors can and DO heal from the trauma of domestic violence.

At Willow Center, thousands of people walk through our doors each year –– and each one carries a traumatic story of violence and abuse at the hands of a loved one. Yet each one also carries a story of triumph over adversity, of courage and strength and hope.

The experience of one young woman has stayed with me for many years because she had everything going for her. They seemed from the outside to be the perfect couple.

She had been a star athlete on the honor roll. He was class president. They dated through college, got married and had three children. Their social media posts were filled with images of an idyllic home life, filled with love and laughter. Yet, in so many insidious ways he had taken control of every aspect of her life. If you looked closely at the photos, you could see it in her eyes – the fear and dread.

Yet what she told us – when she finally 42

escaped from his grasp – was that no one would believe her. She tried to tell family, friends, their neighbors. He had convinced everyone that she was unstable.

He apologized to the neighbors for the yelling, and made it seem like he was the victim. Controlling how other people see the survivor is a tactic of abuse. Gaslighting is not uncommon, which may cause survivors to question their own experience of abuse. To begin to think “maybe I

did something to deserve this.” No one deserves this. Everyone deserves to be safe.

For many survivors, the recognition that what they are experiencing is, in fact, abuse, can be difficult. What, exactly, is abusive? Where do you draw the line?

What marks the difference between an unhealthy relationship and a dangerous one? Which red flag or act of abuse is the moment you decide, “enough”? For many

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER EDITION 2019

survivors, abuse starts after they’ve made a commitment to what they thought was a healthy relationship – to live together, to get married, or to have children – and then the abuse rises up around them until it’s all they can do to keep from drowning.

Domestic violence impacts everyone, whether we know it or not. Domestic violence is in every zip code and every demographic. It is a deliberate pattern of behavior aimed at gaining and maintaining power and control over an intimate partner, and it can include physical, sexual, and psychological attacks, as well as economic coercion and isolation.

It’s tempting to think ‘that could never happen to me’ and yet, it can happen to anyone.

Chances are it is happening to you or someone you know and love. Strong and independent people all too often find themselves trapped in an abusive relationship.

Survivors have such incredible strength and resilience to endure the abuse and find a way to break free from violence.

You may be the first person a survivor ever shares their story with, especially if you are a medical provider, hair stylist, bank teller, coach, parent or trusted friend. You may be their lifeline. Believe them. Listen to them. Say “I’m sorry this

{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE } “This October, and every October, we renew our commitment to our vision of a community free from violence, where healthy relationships thrive. We support survivors at every step of their journey to a safe and empowered life. ”

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER EDITION 2019

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{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE } “What, exactly, is abusive? Where do you draw the line? What marks the difference between an unhealthy relationship and a dangerous one? Which red flag or act of abuse is the moment you decide, “enough”?”

is happening to you. I care about you.

This is not your fault. You have the right to be safe. I’m here for you.”

If we are serious about ending DV, we all need to join together to ensure every survivor has access to the services and supports needed along their unique journey to safety and empowerment. We need to ensure that every person in our 46

community has the tools to recognize abuse for what it is, to respond in a safe and supportive way when someone discloses abuse, and to refer survivors to the right resources.

relationship, and they will need your non-judgmental support at every step.

We all have a role to play in ensuring that our community is one where healthy relationships thrive.

Ask “What do you need to be safe right now? How can I support you?” And keep asking. It may take time for a survivor to find the resources to escape an abusive

More information and resources can be found online at willowcenterny.org.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER EDITION 2019

Emotional Verbal Financial Physical No type of abuse is okay.

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{ DV PANELISTS }

MEET OUR PANELISTS PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY

OCTOBER 10 D O M E S T I C V I O L E N C E AWARENESS EVENT On Thursday, October 10th, Rochester Woman Online had an incredible THINK PURPLE event and panle discuss for Dmestic Violence Awareness at the Rochester Wedding Barn and Events Venue in Rush.

The over 2 hour panel discussion featured DV survivors or “victors” as they called themselves, moderator and appelate parole attorney and Diva #1 for RWO, Cheryl Kates, Monroe County DA Sandra Doorley and our truly inspirational Key Note Speaker, Maisha Beard just to name a few.

I wanted to take a moment and showcase these amazing panelist in case you couldnt be there with us. It truly was a night of inspiration and strength and true “victors”!

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{ DV PANELISTS } “A night filled with inspiration, courage, empowerment and most of all women and men coming together to help stop Domestic Violence in our community.”

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{ DV PANELISTS }

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{ DV PANELISTS }

CHERYL L. KATES, ESQ. Cheryl L. Kates, Esq., attended Syracuse University College of Law, graduating in 2002. She also has a Bachelors Degree from St. John Fisher College in Political Science.

After becoming an attorney, she continued on with the organization as part of the legal team in both Rochester and Syracuse, NY. Ms. Kates is formerly a professor of law

Cheryl completed her Masters Degree in Public Administration f r o m Wa l d e n University. She i s c u r re n t l y a Licensed Practical Nurse and has been since 1990. Cheryl has completed the requirements for a certificate in Investigative Criminal Profiling studying with renowned Criminal Profiler Pat Brown.

Cheryl is the former president and co-founder of Edge of Justice.

This was a not-forprofit organization dedicated to the advocacy of inmates. The NFP was dissolved in 2007. She also served as the Interim Director of the NY Civil Liberties Union in Syracuse, NY, on a volunteer basis.

received the Martin Luther King Drum Major of Justice Award from the Statewide Coalition of Families of Prisoners for her outstanding courage, commitment, and leadership for advocating for inmate families.

This is an award that she values dearly.

Cheryl L. Kates is also the editor of Rochester Woman Online.

She is a print ad and runway m o d e l . He r duties at the publication i n c l u d e marketing, live reporting, creative direction and runway coordination.

Additionally, she is also a promoter in the Hip-Hop genre in her spare time.

at Bryant and Stratton College and Rochester Business Institute teaching paralegals.

In 2004, Cheryl L. Kates, Esq., ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER EDITION 2019

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MAISHA BAIRD A licensed cosmetologist and educator of 28 years, Maisha Beard has become a well-respected entrepreneur within the Rochester community. She has coached and trained other cosmetologists so that they may become successful stylists and business professionals in the beauty business industry. A woman of great compassion, empathy, strength and a continual willingness to serve, Maisha utilizes her gifts of poetry and inspirational speaking as a way of reaching those who may share similar life experiences.

Maisha pursued higher education and earned a Bachelor of Science in English/ Creative Writing from The College at Brockport in May 2018, and is currently pursuing a Master of Arts in English/Creative Writing. She is also an Urban Fellow/ Graduate Intern at the City of Rochester’s Mayor’s Office of Special Projects and Education Initiatives. Maisha’s goals include: becoming a college professor, writer for major publications, and speaking and inspiring audiences around the world.

Some of Maisha’s volunteerism includes: Mayor Lovely Ann Warren’s “Inspiring Women” event where she mentors young

women between the ages of 16-21 on career choice, goal attainment, and intrinsic motivation, panelist for the “Cool Women-Hot Jobs” mentoring program at the Young Women and Girls Charter School, the Genesee Valley Women’s Foundation, “Voices of Experience” after-school educational program, and an inspirational speaker for REOC’s cosmetology department.

Maisha also speaks at events that bring awareness to Domestic Violence and Breast Cancer.

Maisha’s dedication to the prevention of Domestic Violence is due to her childhood experiences. Growing up in a household fueled with poverty, drug/ alcohol addiction, and domestic violence, Maisha found herself defending her mother from her father as early as the

age of 12. During those horrific times, she developed childhood depression, and low self-esteem.

Inspiringly, Maisha’s mother escaped the violence of her father and began the healing process. Maisha’s father ultimately checked himself into a rehabilitation program in the 1980’s and as of now, he has changed the lives of over 10,000 men in the California jail system.

Dr. James Beard, a former batterer, has dedicated his life to DV prevention and travels around the world speaking and educating as a Domestic Violence Intervention Specialist. Maisha’s mother is a Nurse and has dedicated her life to serving her community.

One of Maisha’s missions is to speak about how DV affects children, by sharing her family’s story of trauma, redemption, and healing. Her brand, “Mai’ Musings” is where Maisha offers her expertise as a writer, speaker, and author. Her mission is to help people, specifically women, synergize life, love, and purpose. Maisha’s love for humanity is the driving force of her life.

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MARIA CHIARILLI Abused for 25 years, one could say Maria Chiarilli is The Face and now the Voice of Domestic Violence. After being attacked on January 22, 2011, survived by God’s Grace and Mercy, she vowed to make a change.

That night, she claimed a new life. Seeing a Heavenly Site was when Maria recognized that the lack of awareness, support, education and involvement/action weren’t the only things wrong with society, … this world as we know it. There is a missing piece to this whole domestic violence epidemic, and that “that” piece is Jesus!

Maria also continues to persevere as an aspiring Motivational Speaker, hoping that sharing her story, experience and expertise will inspire, empower, motivate and give strength to that certain someone who needs help. A non-profit, “Domestic Choices, is in the future, which will provide alternative options to the victim who is trapped in unusual, less common situations, that keeps them in an unsafe environment.

Real life situations are not always so cut & dry. Domestic Choices was created to give

Maria’s life should have ended on that dreadful night, but instead her Faith in God and the power of His Love have helped her to overcome this calamity. Today, she inspires everyone she meets with her courage, convictions and indomitable spirit. As she was once a Victim, she is now a Survivor, … a Warrior, a Victor! She has a Mission, a Passion, a Purpose, a Goal, a Dream. Despite the devil being a constant obstacle, always working overtime, Maria continues to strive and thrive.

As an aspiring author, she persists in writing her book, “Silent Me”, a story much bigger than most people’s own personal narrative.

She believes that what she went through, she went through so others wouldn’t have to, …. So that all her pain, trials, as well as mistakes, will enlighten others, encourage and give strength to them to overcome and get through, … to survive and thrive.

“We don’t have to be Superwomen, but when we put all our Faith in God, and let Him handle His business, we can sure feel like one”!

women a greater awareness of the choices they can make to free themselves from the “Silent ME” lifestyle. Maria works hard on her efforts to make Domestic Choices a Doorway to Freedom. And as crazy as this may sound, Maria says, “despite the horrific attack, and all the other trial and tribulations and negative experiences I has gone through in my life, I wouldn’t trade any of them for nothing in this world, because they put me on the path I am on now, and they inspired me to be the person I am today.”

Maria Chiarilli, who also goes by 15ANG3LS, is also the mother of 7 children, 4 boys and 3 girls. …along with several grandchildren.

She lives in the country in the family home, with her youngest son, Chavez, who was disabled in a devastating car accident in 1998, that left him paralyzed and on a respirator.

Though he can’t walk or even move his arms, Chavez’s strength and determination continue to inspire those around him. His sister, Tiffany, once wrote on a Instagram post, with a picture of Chavez: “I have 4 brothers, 3 of which are steadily keep in the gym, but Chavez turned out to be the strongest”. “This” would be the same strength that Maria uses to justify every aspect in her life, when there is a question of her Faith or courage. Chavez is Maria’s inspiration.

Maria has several “invisible disabilities”, from the attack, that keep her down a lot. She says, “This has taken all the normalcy out of my life. I get so very frustrated.” So now, she is looking into the possibilities of combining “Invisible Disabilities” with “Pain Awareness” and somehow making them part of “Domestic Choices”, which is currently just about domestic violence. She goes on to say that “three” go together.

Maria says her mission is To Help The “Silent Me’s” Find Their Lost Voices. And Her message is;” It’s Not Your Fault and Don’t Waste Your Pain.

15ANG3L’S website is currently under construction but will be published soon.

The address is: www.domesticchoices.life

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NANCY SUNG SHELTON “Mommy when I grow up, I want to be just like you!”

When these words hit my ears, it shattered the fragile glass that was my heart. My Sun, the child who I carried for 9 months with no one knowing. The child that I gave birth to at the tender age of 15 years, all alone and by myself in my bedroom. My gift, the SUN that walked next to me as I ran away from the nurturing home provided by my parents and into poverty and pain.

I remember the wall of achievement that my mother had in the dining room. It was a shrine of all my scholarly successes.

That wall was crowded with my awards, plaques, and medals, my parents celebrated me and invested in my future success.

I was a top student, a leader among my friends, never got in trouble, I was a happy and welladjusted suburban kid.

I met an older man and he convinced me that I was beautiful. He was charismatic, smart, and had an edgy sense of style.

I was fascinated with him, and just could not believe that this older guy would find me equally as interesting.

This man treated me like a woman, and when he asked me what I bought him for his birthday, all I had to offer was the gift of my innocence. My first

time being with a man resulted in my sweet little SUN who at 4 years old, told me, “Mommy when I grow up, I want to be just like you!”

After my Sun’s father abandoned us, at aged 16, I left home to live with a new man. This man gave me instructions on how navigate the system and poverty, what to say and not to say to adults, how to hide the fact that he was living with

slaps, chokes, slams, punches, kicks, scratches, spittle, dominance, stature, and soul tearing words killed me little by little. While beating me in the middle of a crowded street, I heard the laughter of the onlookers, I realized there was no help for me and he would eventually cease my existence. My beautiful Sun saw all of the abuse and cried quietly as I soothed him to silence to not draw the attention of this man.

I was a high school drop, a welfare recipient, a teen mom, a runaway, a domestic violence victim, a hopeless, broken person.

us, and who to go to for this or that.

He trained me on how to be his tool.

It didn’t take long for his grooming to turn to violence. Unbeknownst to me, he was struggling with addiction and in my naïve state, I didn’t understand why he would become irrationally angry.

Chastising me like a child, berating me for my mistakes, and constantly accusing me of cheating on him, I was confused, I didn’t have the skill to battle his manipulation and viciousness. His

“Mommy when I grow up, I want to be just like you!”... this was a pivotal moment.

NO! I need to be a better representation of a mother, woman, and person for my Sun. I did not want this life for him. I found the dormant courage in my spirit and just left... I went back to school received my G.E.D. and then several degrees. I regained control and resumed the path that was destined for me. I am no longer a “survivor”, as I fight against injustice and victimization of others every day in the work I do, I am a thriving as a community “WARRIOR” and “CONQUERER!”

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SIERRA MONAE

Sierra Monaé, a Rochester native, is one of the hottest radio personalities in upstate NY that’s heating up the airwaves.

Sierra who has been deemed “The voice of the city” by her listeners and has always been a public figure.

Her background in hosting major events and concerts in the Rochester area, made her domestic violence situation a lot more difficult because

she was in the public eye constantly.

Fear of ridicule and public backlash has kept her quiet about the abuse for 2 years. Until now, when she decided to speak as a panelist at the RWO Domestic Violence Awareness THINK PURPLE event.

We congratulate Sierra for having the strength and courage to tell our audience her true story of survival and inspiration and how she had the courage to stand up to her abuser and say no more!

She is a true “victor” and has been an amazing member of the Rochester Woman Online team.

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LUCY SACCHETTI Lucy Sacchetti, Founder of Rebuilding Shattered Lives, decided to launch the support group after her son’s tragic ordeal with a heroin addiction which ultimately led to his shooting and prison term in 2014. The motivation behind her efforts came with the stark realization that families in crisis were not only struggling with the continuous upheavals’ addiction brings to one’s doorsteps, they were also thrown to the “wolves” with stigmatism. During her very public ordeal, she was faced with a lack of empathy from a very opinionated society in which she was somehow to blame for her son’s choices.

to be none.

Rebuilding Shattered Lives started out as a group for those who needed a shoulder to cry on with no judgement. Over the years efforts to rally, change laws, meet with elected officials and simply help people understand what parents face during crisis, the group transformed into a safe haven for those who felt abandoned by society as they mourned their loved ones.

This led to a passion to somehow change mindsets and educate the community on the struggle’s families face during such trials.

Lucy Sacchetti, formerly known as Annemarie Zagari, passionately set out to understand what had just happened to her life which was torn apart from the inside out. A suburban mom of two, whose life seemed “perfect”, turned into a nightmare in which there was no escape as she struggled to keep her son alive while a society raged on his choices.

During this tumultuous time her father had developed terminal cancer and she now faced another heartache in which there was no control. “I only knew to pray” were her words as she made the decision to become an Ordained Minister with the intention to spiritually guide the brokenhearted, lend a compassionate heart where there seemed

With the passing of her father in 2016, Lucy took a step back to mourn the loss of a very important presence in her life. Since then she quietly started reach out to people who just needed to be heard and spiritually counsel families on loss, helping them to grieve with out judgement and helps to educate those who need an understanding in a place of heartache where most feel lost and lose a sense of identity. In 2017, Lucy separated and divorced her husband of twenty plus years and faced another spiritual loss. Her identity was forever changed, but one thing

remained the same. Concentration of “why me” was a theme that was present in each tragic event and the healing process was never fully complete until she realized that she was her biggest enemy. With each loss she faced she realized that no matter the event, the pain is the same. “We all have to go through the stages of grief no matter what. When the soul dies, all we know is that we are in our own grave and we either decide to get up or stay put. I decided to get up and change my story”. Today she spiritually guides those who need an understanding of self. She helps those who are willing to transition from victim mentality to survivor mentality and keep going forward with a renewed sense of love…self-love. “I want to help people to come to a place where the biggest love of their life is themselves, one of the hardest battles amongst anyone facing crisis is self-love.

During my darkest nights, I never questioned anyone else’s behavior, it was always “why me? When I stopped asking “why me” and changed the story to “What am I missing in myself? What is it that keeps me from moving forward and staying in a stagnant position in life, with the same people where I keep getting knocked down? When do I decide it’s time to stop falling into that self-made grave?

When I changed the questions, I changed the outcome! Today!

By the Grace of God, and blind faith I climbed out of that grave and became a survivor. When I decided to stop abandoning myself, my life changed!” #foreverhopeinGod

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CHASTITY SINGLETARY Chastity Singletary is a mother of one child.

Her daughter is in the 5th grade. Chastity is an MCC Alumni. With having received her Associate ‘s degree in Human Services and is also a Bachelor’s degree grad from American Intercontinental University, she has waited many years to write her book and tell her story. Fearing judgement of those she loved if she did. But then that day came, she finally did it.

After finishing her second degree, she felt it was time to tell her story. It was time for others to hear her story. After writing her first book that speaks up against the Sexual Mental and Physical abuse within families, she immediately began writing her second book about Domestic Violence.

With now selling over 400 copies since her release of her first book in April, she believes that breaking stigmas and educating families on the seriousness of Sexual, Mental and Emotional trauma is key to decrease many Mental Ailments such as PTSD, Anxiety/Depression just to name a few.

Chastity is a Victim Advocate for Rape, Domestic Violence and Discrimination.

Her business is called Gidae. Gidae means HOPE in Korean.

She believes that in life, we ALL have hope for something. And for Victims, sometimes having HOPE is their only chance at surviving the obstacles that maybe hindering

them and leaving them in a debilitating state.

With receiving many certifications such as a Hypnotist Consultant, Reiki Master and Life Coach, Chastity has done this all in the name of Advocating and spreading knowledge through her speaking for her Community. While just recently launching her Podcast that speaks on topics such as Stress, getting real about Anxiety and much more, she is set to launch her first Magazine spread next month. Her magazine will be of

currently working. One project includes Collaborating with the City School District to increase awareness within the Health Education department.

Diversity and Inclusion. Men and Women coming together and speaking their truth.

There is POWER when we speak affirmations, knowledge and wisdom to others. There is POWER when we encourage and motivate others. Never stop the fight of trying to do good. Our Community needs us along with many Communities. Chastity will never stop fighting to spread the knowledge.

She will never stop fighting to let others know her story and to learn others story along the way. So, lets EMPOWER and ENCOURAGE one another on the way!

Sharing their stories and obstacles. This magazine will show the world that if they can overcome, that others can also. Chastity works tirelessly in her Community as well as in her family. Giving when she can and continuing to better herself. Connecting with many like-minded individuals and spreading awareness of Diversity and Inclusion. There are many future projects that Chastity is

Speaking on topics they do not cover in current Health Classes such as Mental Health and Self-Care. Chastity’s life has not always been this accomplished. She has struggled in her past of Domestic Violence herself, Anxiety and Sexual Trauma, it took her on a road of despair, insecurity and debilitating depression that overshadowed her life.

It took perseverance and learning to reprogram and refocus on her life and learn self-worth from within for her to overcome those obstacles. Believing and learning to love herself first.

Now that she has learned this skill. She wants to motivate, empower and encourage others that they can to overcome any obstacle that may come their way. The most important thing to remember is Unity and Support. These are big factors that can bring people together. Increasing in numbers, advancement and education.

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TIFFANIE TARTANGLIA

Tiffanie Tartaglia is owner and stylist if Salon Bella Vita in Pittsford, NY. Born and raised in Fairport New York, Tiffanie pursues her hairstylist career 24 years ago after graduating from Shear ego cosmetology school.

She was hired by Redken 5th Avenue as a traveling hairstylist educating thousands of hairstylists across America.

She became a color specialist and design specialist a few years of becoming an artist for Redken 5th Avenue. Working the larger

scale shows bring away 5 times to 7 times a year ,6 days at a time for 19 years she decided her children’s activities needed her attention.

She stayed in Pittsford opening a salon and let her children be the stars to shine. She will go back as promised when her children leave for college.

Tiffanie and her two children ,Rocco 14 Emma 12 are survivors of domestic violence.

Finally after 14 years Rocco was listened to and Emma as well, giving both the children the choice to be

around the verbal and physical abuse . They are finally free. T iffanie is pursuing her second run at Mrs. New York State with Domestic Violence, and Willow Domestic Violence Center as her platform and focus.

She feels she can represent this problem and be a voice for the voices that are silent, or that have been silenced. There’s a long road ahead, but she feels there needs to be more laws for prevention and more protection for children.

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NICOLE SIMONE BACKUS Abuse is experienced in many forms - sexual, physical, emotional and even mental. Far too often those experiencing abuse don’t know it. The people around the abused aren’t always aware of the signs or don’t know how to be supportive.

In the United States, an average of 20 people experience intimate partner physical violence every minute. This equates to more than 10 million abuse victims annually. (NCADV) Domestic violence statics continue to rise, especially in communities that are not educated on the signs or provided with actionable solutions. Nicole Simone Backus is working to address this epidemic in her community and beyond with her company Sunmoonrising Films LLC. Nicole Simone Backus is an American actress, writer, producer, director, and SURVIVOR. With her pen and through her lens, she brings narratives to life that not only reflects her personal experience but also those in her community.

Nicole’s third feature film, “A Friendship That Binds,” is the story of two friends bound by loyalty

defying society’s take on acceptable relationships and boundaries. This newly-released film highlights several forms of abuse and how the experiences impact the lives of each character. Nicole knows too well how abuse can affect a person’s life. She experienced sexual abuse by the hands of a family friend and domestic abuse during two long term relationships that caused physical, emotional and

mental anguish. This eventually pushed Nicole into a downward cycle of poverty and digression in her career. This cycle also took a tremendous toll on her children causing rebellion in the household.

Nicole refuses to view herself as a victim but a VICTOR! She believes her voice can inspire other women to help end the cycle of

abuse through film, self-love and empowerment. Born and raised in the Bronx, New York until the age of nine, Nicole moved to Glens Falls, New York where she fell in love with film. After many years of doubt and low-self esteem, Nicole found the strength, courage, and faith to start over. Nicole gives credit to the strong women in her life who became her pillar of strength and the village she leaned on in her time of need and encouraged her to see her worth through her struggles.

Her inspiration to write her second series, “These Streets Don’t Love You Like I Do,” was due to her periods of homelessness, domestic violence, and poverty. Nicole found that writing and producing that series allowed her to overcome those burdening obstacles in her life. Founding her company Sunmoonrising Films LLC. in 2018 was a dream come.

Nicole continues to work behind the scenes with a screening and project set to release later this year.

For more information on Nicole and her latest projects, follow her on Twitter @SMR_FILMS, Instagram @Sunmoonrisingfilms and online at SunmoonrisingFilms.com.

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Cara Cappello BREAST PREVIVORS

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CARA CAPPELLO

BY CHERYL L. KATES I PHOTOS BY MARISA NICODEMUS

CAPPELLO IS A PREVIVOR TO BREAST CANCER What is a previvor?

Cara describes this for Rochester Woman Online.

“Previvor” refers to an individual who carries a strong predisposition to cancer but has not yet developed cancer.

These individuals proactively sought out knowledge to determine if they inherited a gene mutation by having genetic testing performed. I believe knowledge is power and knowing about an inherited mutation gives people the power to take steps that may help reduce one’s risk for cancer or detect cancer at an earlier and more treatable stage.

Breast and ovarian cancer risk can be greatly reduced through increased monitoring, preventive drug treatment, or preventive surgery”.

Cara personally experienced this journey. In the fall of 2018, after receiving genetic testing, she found out she was in a group of people who are at a high risk for breast cancer.

A procedure is available to reduce

the risk of getting breast cancer. The procedure is a Prophylactic Bilateral Double Mastectomy, where both the breasts are removed. Cara indicated a large part of her decision to undergo this procedure was her husband and 2 children who need her to be around.

After undergoing the surgery, Cara received the test results back from pathology reports. She received all

the validation she needed to assure her she made the right decision. The pathology report showed pre-cancerous cells were present in her right breast.

It was just a matter of time, before Cara developed breast cancer.

Cara says, “I am so glad I underwent genetic testing. It saved my life and prevented my developing breast cancer.

In our community, there is not a lot of awareness available to inform people about what a Previvor is. As I was going through my Prophylactic Mastectomy journey, I really wanted to connect with others going through the same preventive surgery. I was looking into support groups for previvors like myself. There are many support groups offered to breast cancer survivors but not for previvors. I knew there were others out there like myself, who learned they were at high risk for development of breast cancer and elected to have a prophylactic mastectomy.

Our journey is different than someone going through breast c a n c e r, b u t we still have a journey and need support and advocacy.

I longed for connection to others. I needed to feel I was not alone in this journey.

I decided I needed to start my own support group to make things happen.

This is when I created Breast Previvors ROC. In this journey, it is so important to be able to talk with others that get what you are going through on a local level”.

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“I am so glad I underwent genetic testing. It saved m

my life and prevented my developing breast cancer.”

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“I really wanted to connect with others going through the same preventive surgery.”

Breast Previvors ROC is an organization dedicated to supporting women affected by gene mutations which make them a high risk for breast cancer. Women who are considering lowering their risk of having breast cancer by having a Prophylactic Mastectomy. Through the community and friendship, the group strives to allow women to stand tall and empower each other in our journeys of being a Previvor! The organization hosts monthly meet ups and connects women experiencing this through their Facebook page. In the future, Breast Cancer Previvors will have 82

a resourceful website with a lot of information which is currently under construction.

Cara has a background in esthetics/ nails and also worked as a dental assistant. For the past nine years, she enjoys her position as a “stay at home” mom. She is married with two children. She credits her husband as being her biggest supporter. They are married 15 years and during her preventative surgery he was able to take off work and be with her for a month while she recovered. Cara states, “ He is my rock”.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER EDITION 2019

Cara overcame many rough times including her parents divorcing and caring for her father after he suffered a stroke and kidney failure.

Her first scare with cancer came from skin issues. While in her 30’s after undergoing 24 biopsies Carrie underwent having pre-cancerous areas removed.

Her journey with preventative breast cancer started at the Elizabeth Wende Breast Care. Learning she had the Chek2 gene mutation, began her journey as we stated above. Having the breast removal surgery is the

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{ COVER STORY } “In this journey, it is so important to be able to talk with others that get what you are going through on a local level.”

first step in the process. Cara also underwent reconstructive surgery which took place last month. She is still recovering from this surgery.

Cara plans to continue to grow Breast Previvors ROC with the hopes of building partnerships with other organizations like the Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester, Elizabeth Wende Breast Care, the Pluta Cancer Center Foundation, Strong Memorial Hospital and Rochester Regional Health.

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If you are interested in attending the support groups, they are offered monthly. There are women of all ages and the women are at all different stages in the process. To learn more visit BreastPrevivorsROC.com

consideration to sharing my story with others. In this journey it is so important to be able to talk with others that understand what you are going through. I want the community to know there is support”.

Cara by saying, “ My hope is to spread the message of whatever you are going through you are not alone.

Support your local Breasties. With your help, we can make a difference in our community. I appreciate your

For more information email them at info@BreastPrevivorsROC.com

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{ COVER STORY } “ In this journey it is so important to be able to talk with others that understand what you are going through. I want the community to know there is support.”

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“ My hope is message of wh going through alone. Suppo Breas

to spread the hatever you are h you are not ort your local sties.”

PROVIDING SUPPORT FOR BREAST CANCER PREVIVORS BEFORE AND AFTER A PROPHYLACTIC MASTECTOMY.

Breast Previvors ROC is an organization dedicated to supporting women who are breast cancer previvors in the Rochester community. Previvors are individuals who are survivors of a predisposition to cancer such as a gene mutation or have a family history of cancer, but who have not yet had the disease. Together we should stand tall and empower each other through community and friendship, supporting one another on our breast cancer previvor journey.

We host monthly support groups as well as connecting women through our private Facebook page.

Support your local Breasties!

Contact us at info@BreastPrevivorsROC.com Visit us at www.BreastPrevivorsROC.com

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MYTHS OF MAMMOGRAPHY

BY ELIZABETH WENDE BREAST CARE

A screening mammogram is an important step in a woman’s preventative healthcare routine.

Unfortunately, there is a lot of misinformation regarding screening mammography and breast cancer.

local patient population only 4% of the patients we diagnosed last year had a known gene mutation.

MYTH Screening mammography should not

Below are the most frequent myths I encounter when dealing with my patients. Dr. Lisa Paulis, Elizabeth Wende Breast Care

Out of every 100 women who have a mammogram; 95 will be told that their mammogram results are normal, and 5 will be asked to return for additional mammogram and/or ultrasound testing. We feel strongly that women should be aware of these statistics to make an informed decision on how they weigh the risk of being one of the women who potentially needs additional workup versus the risk of not screening.

MYTH Annual screening mammography is only important for patients with a family history of breast cancer.

THE FACTS Seventy-five percent of women diagnosed with breast cancer have NO family history of the disease. In the general population 12% of women will develop breast cancer in their lifetime and 42,000 Americans will die from breast cancer this year.

Women who are at a higher than average risk due to personal or family history, prior atypical biopsy results, certain genetic factors etc. may benefit from additional screening (ultrasound, MRI) and/or genetic counseling.

However, the absence of risk factors should not prevent a patient from pursuing screening imaging. In our 90

additional testing in order to determine a true result. In mammography, false positive results can mean anything from additional mammographic views, after which most patients will not require further workup, to ultrasound or minimally invasive biopsy procedures.

Of note, 12% of the cancers we diagnosed in our community in 2018 were in their forties.

be performed in younger patients (ages 40-50) due to false positive results.

MYTH Mammography is ineffective in screening for cancer in women with dense breast tissue.

THE FACTS A false positive is an area that appears abnormal on initial imaging but represents normal tissue on subsequent studies. False positives can generate

THE FACTS Breast density is determined by the proportion of fat and glandular tissue in the breast. The more glandular tissue a patient has, the more “dense”

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the tissue is graded. Each patient is assigned a breast density classification on their mammogram which ranges from entirely fatty issue to extremely dense glandular tissue. Small breast cancers can be harder to identify on traditional mammograms in patients with dense tissue, however a newer technology called tomosynthesis (3D mammography) spreads out the tissue to improve detection. Additionally, screening breast ultrasound provides another way to “see through” the density and find small masses.

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Mammograms remain the most accurate tool available to diagnose ductal carcinoma in situ or DCIS which can be the earliest form of breast cancer we can identify. In patients with dense tissue, consideration should be given to screening mammography accompanied by ultrasound to offer the most comprehensive benefits of imaging.

Major health organizations, such as the American Cancer Society, as well as our local imaging community continue to recommend that women

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should be screened annually beginning at age 40. For more information go to mammographysaveslives.org and talk to your healthcare provider.

As the first dedicated breast clinic in the US, Elizabeth Wende Breast Care has been serving the greater Rochester, NY area since 1975, with the latest technology and experienced breast imaging professionals.

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EWBC now has Genetic Testing & Counseling in Rochester &Carthage. See our video at ewbc.com ewbc.com

SERviCES AT ouR CARThAGE & ROCHESTER offiCES Latest 3D mammography with results while you wait Screening ultrasound for women with dense breasts Diagnostic Evaluations Genetic Counseling Bone Densitometry

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JILL GRESS

BY JILL GRESS

I was one of those kids that learned way too early about cancer was, I was just 13 when it affected my family and rocked my world. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at 42. It was a different time when people didn’t talk about this diagnosis, almost like it was a bad word. There were no pink ribbons, no walks, no advocacy organizations and no support. I remember going to a store that specialized in bras from post mastectomy and watched my mom cry in the dressing room.

All I wanted was for her to feel better and for a while she did.

My mom started having some back problem but she ignored it because we were in the process of planning my wedding. She was so excited to help me plan it so I thought that all was ok. After getting back from my honeymoon I found out that her breast cancer had metastasized to her bones. She told me she postponed telling me and her starting her treatment as she wanted to have hair for my wedding day.

very vigilant in self breast exams and annual mammograms. Each year I passed one my mom’s diagnosis dates, I felt I was safe.

When the BRBC genetic testing first came out, I was scared to have this done thinking I would be positive. I got great advice from my OB/GYN, don’t take the test until I was confident in the treatment should by test come

Less than 2 years later she died at age 52, I was just 24 and 4 months pregnant. The first time I felt my son move was at the funeral parlor. It was so heartbreaking that she wouldn’t be here to help me through the rest of my pregnancy, delivery and become a mom.

back positive. It took me 3 years to finally come to terms that if it comes back positive, I would be prepared to do the recommended treatment which included surgery and medications. I was shocked when mine came back negative.

While relieved, I knew that only a small portion of breast cancer was genetic so I remained vigilant.

Because of my mom’s diagnosis, I was

In April 2018, again my world went upside

down. During an annual mammogram, something was seen. This wasn’t unusual, it happened before, but this time the biopsy was positive. I was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer.

For a few days, I was so ovaerwhelmed with so many emotions and just hid in my room. I was just a few years older than my mom when she died, was I facing the same short timeframe as she did?

I then realized I was doing, dealing with the way my mom had to go through and I didn’t want that.

There was so much more available to someone being diagnosed than ever before.

I have a house full with my husband, son, Josie (our dog) and the pussycats, our 5 Siamese cats that we have coined the Siamese Catpack (Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennet, Sammi Davis Jr, Dean Martin and Joey Bishop) all Lollypop Farm alumni. I didn’t want this diagnosis to affect them.

I volunteer a lot of my time, being on the Board for Sepsis Alliance and volunteering at Lollypop Farm. And from my work with both of these organizations I realized there are a lot of support/advocacy groups out there that could help me. I believe that we should give back as much as we can and I didn’t want that to change

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“In April 2018, again my world went upside down. During an annual mammogram, som positive. I was diagnosed wit

with my diagnosis. I was too strong of a person to let this get me down, so I started reaching out to support groups and learning everything I could.

My husband and I have one of those very special relationships. He has always called me his princess so often you will find me wearing a tiara! Many of our pictures of us are of us joking around, he is my best friend. He was my rock as I went through all my doctors’ appointments, surgery and even walked with me during a breast cancer walk this year. The one 96

comment that stuck with me through my treatment that he told me, I love you all of you with or without breasts.

I knew there were a lot of support out there and breast cancer wasn’t a bad word anymore. I had the ability to make decisions on my treatment along with my family and doctors. Because of my family history, I decided on a double mastectomy with latissimus flap reconstruction which was done at the same time. This reconstruction utilized my own tissues/muscles which

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was important to me. With some of the research coming out that some implants are causing some types of cancer I was happy with my decision.

The one thing I learned from all the support organizations, there is no right or wrong decision on treatment plan, you need to do what works for you. Everyone is different. While I had some setbacks during my recovery, I am finally on the other side and am not looking back. I do have a new normal, but that’s ok. I am here to have a new one!

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mething was seen. This wasn’t unusual, it happened before, but this time the biopsy was th Stage 1 breast cancer.”

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{ WOMEN WHO INSPIRE } “I believe that we should give back as much as we can and I didn’t want that to change with my diagnosis. I was too strong of a person to let this get me down.”

I do have days where I worry about metastasis, but I don’t want that to define me, I want to define it. I have made a commitment to myself to try something new as much as I can. I have taken meditative classes, yoga classes and even went ziplining in Costa Rica. For someone with a slight fear of heights that was huge! I love to travel and have always dreamed of going to Scotland, so that is on my bucket list.

I am back to working full-time doing what I love, marketing research. I love to learn about people’s behaviors, attitudes and opinions. I guess that is why I did so much research ahead of time prior to even meeting my first doctor. Being one’s own advocate is important in this journey.

The experience that I went through helped me guide my mother in law when 6 months later she was diagnosed with Stage 1 Breast Cancer.

I don’t hesitate to share my story with anyone. I do not want anyone to think they are walking alone on this path. There are so many wonderful organizations that can help someone through their diagnosis, treatment and support.

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{ WOMEN WHO INSPIRE } “The one thing I learned from all the support organizations, there is no right or wrong decision on treatment plan, you need to do what works for you.”

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EILEEN HOOPER MCCONVILLE

BY EILEEN MCCONVILLE

It was the beginning of the summer in 1997 and I was interviewing, looking to go back to work after being home with my kids for the last 5 years. My son was about to start kindergarten, my daughter was 3, and we decided it was time. I was still breastfeeding my daughter just at night, and when I found the lump one day in the shower, I initially thought it was just mastitis. But I had had that before, and it hurt – a lot.

This lump didn’t hurt, and it was definitely different. We had a lot going on, so I ignored it for a couple of months, and didn’t say anything to my husband. At the end of August we were at the State Fair, and I was drawn to the Susan Komen table, where I started to ask some questions. The cat was out of the bag, and my husband insisted I call the doctor.

My grandmother had breast cancer when I was in high school, and I think I was just avoiding it because from the little research I had done, I kind of knew this wasn’t good.

I went and had a mammogram nothing showed up. The doctor could feel the lump too, so they did a needle aspiration, which came back inconclusive. They scheduled a biopsy for almost a month out, and in the meantime, I got a job in Rochester (we were living in Fayetteville, New York).

I started my new job in early October, and on my second day told my manager I had a previously scheduled doctor’s appointment the next day. My husband asked if I wanted him to go with me; I said, ‘No, it’s fine’.

My parents happened to be in town visiting though, and they insisted on going with me.

The surgeon did the biopsy, and sent some of it right to the lab for a frozen section. To this day, I’m not sure why he did that, except 100

perhaps he could tell from the looks of it things that it was cancer. Several minutes later, I got the diagnosis of breast cancer. It was the Thursday before Columbus Day; they told me they could get me in for surgery on Monday. I spent Friday meeting with an oncologist and plastic surgeon, and called my new manager to explain that I was going to be out for about a month. I had been given the option of having a mastectomy

and chemo, or a lumpectomy and chemo and radiation. My tumor was the size of a golf ball and considered Stage 2B, so I opted for mastectomy and reconstruction.

The following Monday, 4 days before my 31st birthday, I had surgery, and 2 weeks later I had my first chemotherapy treatment.

I went back to work about a week after that, had my second chemotherapy treatment, and then we moved to Canandaigua before Thanksgiving. I changed oncologists and

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plastic surgeons, and had my last two chemotherapy treatments at Strong Hospital, finishing up right before New Year’s.

My tumor was estrogen receptor positive, so when I finished chemotherapy, I was put on Tamoxifen. I was lucky in that I didn’t experience a lot of side effects. Yes, I lost my hair, and back then the anti-nausea medication was not all that great, so I did get sick. My white blood cell count was annihilated from the chemo, so I had to give myself Neupogen shots each day for a week after each chemo treatment. I was on Tamoxifen for five years, and again, other than some occasional hot flashes, tolerated it well. I didn’t even get kicked into early menopause, which I was kind of hoping for! But all in all, I was still able to take care of my kids and work my full-time job. Looking back, I’m not exactly sure how I managed to do it all – maybe it was a blessing that I was so young and energetic!

When I finished treatment, it was a weird ‘what do I do now’ feeling. I had genetic testing done, which came back ‘no mutations found’, and was working to find my new normal. I participated in various breast cancer walks, including a 3 day walk from Baltimore to Washington, DC to celebrate the 5th anniversary of my diagnosis. About 10 years after my diagnosis, I got involved with the Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester, first attending their Brown Bag lunches on Fridays, then helping start the Young Survivor Soirees, and serving on the Board of Directors as the Young Survivor Committee Chair. I then became a member of the Advocacy Committee, which I am still a part of today.

My kids are now 27 and 25; while didn’t really understand what was happening back

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{ WOMEN WHO INSPIRE } “My grandmother had breast cancer when I was in high school, and I think I was just avoiding it because from the little research I had done, I kind of knew this wasn’t good.”

then, and I don’t think they remember much, they did many of the walks with us! Once my daughter was in high school, she started asking questions about my diagnosis and prognosis, and she became interested in getting more involved too.

She participated in Relay for Life walks at college, volunteered at Camp Good Days, and then became a camp counselor there.

She obtained her Master’s in Public Health with a concentration in Epidemiology (the study of epidemics) and currently has a fellowship with the National Cancer Institute in Bethesda, Maryland.

I won’t say my diagnosis was a GOOD 102

thing, but so many positive things have happened in my life since (and maybe even because?) I had breast cancer. One positive is that I have met so many amazing, strong people – men and women – because of being in this ‘club’ that I likely wouldn’t have met otherwise. I actually met one of my best friends in a Myspace group for survivors (hey, it was the mid-2000’s!). I definitely have a different perspective since my diagnosis, and I don’t sweat the small stuff – that’s my goal anyway!

So many advances have been made since I was diagnosed 22 years ago – new diagnostic methods, new treatment protocols – but I

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am still seeing friends be diagnosed each and every year. I’ve also lost several friends and acquaintances to this relentless disease. For all of them – us, really - I continue to advocate for the eradication of this disease, and try to support those who have been diagnosed in any way I can. I am extremely fortunate to be able to say I have not had a recurrence, but I know there are no guarantees. I try to live each day to the fullest, and be grateful for all the good things in my life.

{ WOMEN WHO INSPIRE } “I won’t say my diagnosis was a GOOD thing, but so many positive things have happened in my life since (and maybe even because?) I had breast cancer.”

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MELINDA HARTMAN

BY MELINDA HARTMAN

I am lucky.

Yes, that’s right. I’m lucky.

When I woke up on Thursday May 24th, 2012, I was a woman with breast cancer. But I didn’t know it.

Luckily, I noticed a lump in my breast when I was taking a shower. And I almost immediately knew that it wasn’t going to be good news.

go with me for the second biopsy. Amy made me laugh. She distracted me. She didn’t ask me difficult questions. She held my hand while the needle went in.

(As an aside, when they stick a needle in your armpit, it hurts!) She told me that she would be there for me. And she was.

By Tuesday afternoon I had a diagnosis.

I already mentioned my sisterin-law. She was a complete rock star. She accompanied me to appointments, checked in on me, helped me take care of wounds that wouldn’t heal, and arranged her schedule around mine.

Luckily, I had a good friend who I could call. Eileen told me to breathe. She told me it probably wasn’t anything, but I shouldn’t ignore it. As a breast cancer survivor herself, she knew the right words to say.

She told me that no matter what I found out, she would be there for me, and she would help me through it.

Luckily, I had a great doctor who was able to get me in immediately. I went for a mammogram the next day, which was immediately followed by an ultrasound, which was immediately followed by a biopsy. They wanted to do a second biopsy but it was the end of the day and there wasn’t time and it was the Friday before Memorial Day, so I had to wait until Tuesday to go back.

I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I didn’t want to tell people what I was going through without a definitive answer.

Luckily, I had an amazingly supportive sister-in-law who dropped everything to 104

before my diagnosis, my parents moved into an in-law apartment in my house.

I can’t imagine how difficult it was for them to watch what I went through.

But they took care of me, no questions asked. They scooped cat litter, brought my remote to me from all the way across the room, and didn’t argue with my completely unreasonable demands and decisions.

I had breast cancer.

I could write about all of the horrible things that happened to me throughout my treatment. The pain, the nausea, all of the side effects, hair loss, edema, rash, blood clot, heart damage, neuropathy, chemo brain…..the list goes on and on.

Instead, I’ll write about how lucky I was.

First and foremost, less than 2 months

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I had so many friends and family to help me. People brought over food. They cleaned my house.

If Amy wasn’t available, Becky stepped right in and was my chauffeur. She was a sounding board for all of my fears. My dear friend Sue lives in Michigan so she wasn’t around. Instead, she sent me “useless” things in the mail to amuse me. There was a pamphlet from the 70s with all of the things you could make with a bath towel. And a children’s book written in Polish. But my favorite useless thing came after I lost all of my hair: some bobby pins and hair ties.

After my treatment was over I couldn’t stand to look at myself in the mirror because of all of the damage and scars that were left over. And I was lucky to have an amazing friend and tattoo artist

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TeeJay who brought beauty back to my body. I was able to take back some of what breast cancer had taken from me.

But I was so much luckier than all of that.

had access to a therapist to help me through all of the chaos that I couldn’t control. And though I didn’t need it, I had life insurance.

I had health insurance. I had disability insurance. When I went on disability, I was able to go onto my husband’s health insurance. I had a guarantee of a job when I was done with disability. I had the financial ability to take the time off of work that I needed to recover. I

It is sad to think that those things make me lucky. That there are so many women (and men) who have to worry about all of those things instead of being able to concentrate on getting better. I know people who worked through chemo not because they felt up to it, but because

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it was either work or lose their house.

It was either work or have no health insurance.

I hope that someday breast cancer will be a disease of the past. And I hope that in the meantime, everyone is as lucky as I am.

{ SHIFT+CONTROL } } { WOMEN WHO INSPIRE “It is sad to think that those things make me lucky. That there are so many women (and men) who have to worry about all of those things instead of being able to concentrate on getting better.”

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ROBIN HERTZ

ENTREPRENEUR/ HUMANITARIAN

BY ACTOR/ PRODUCER/ DIRECTOR DANIEL BALDWIN I PHOTOS BY DANIEL BALDWIN & MICHELLE DIBERNARDO

PLEASE TELL OUR READERS ABOUT ROBIN HERTZ? Robin: I am a 52 year old woman, A mother of 2, Daniel Baldwin’s other half, a medical intuitive and a child of GOD. A medical intuitive?

Robin: Yes, since about the age of 6, but it wasn’t until I was 32 years old that I figured out why I was and what my true purpose in life was to be.

It was in a hotel room in Nashville that my grandfather came to visit me. I remember hearing his unmistakable voice, “Robin, in your prayers you’ve been asking what your ultimate purpose in life is.

It’s that you are a messenger”. It was in my grandfathers words that early morning that I had my moment of clarity.

You see, I had spent a lifetime already having what I call “Knowings”. They varied from complete strangers on the beach who I knew were going to drown to close family members who I could see were sick and didn’t know it yet. As a little girl until about

the age of 9 I thought everyone had these abilities, but by 10 I realized that no one else could see what I saw.

It was due to this fact that I stopped sharing my visions with others unless I was very close to them.

Oh and you should know, my grandfather who came to visit me that morning? He had passed away 16 years before.

and we had taken them for several years, but something wasn’t right.

Something felt wrong. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I knew I was not supposed to go on this trip.

Lorraine said, “We have to go, it’s for the kids.”

Reluctantly, I agreed to go then a week before our departure I got very sick, the worst flu of my life. (Sometimes our bodies tell us).

So there we were in Aspen Colorado my son Grant was 11 his sister Audrey 8 along with Lorraine her husband and their 2 children.

For 3 days we skied and had a good time but I was never really at ease. I still had that feeling we shouldn’t have come.

After Nashville I spent the next decade evolving, honing and refining my gift. Learning to keep my ego out of it and listen openly.

Let me explain.

It was the winter of 2005 and my best friend Lorraine called me to plan our annual family ski trip. We both had two children the exact same age

Day 4 was our last day of skiing and the whole group wanted to go to a section called crazy train.

I immediately said, “No!” The feeling of apprehension and anxiety was intensifying. I knew crazy train was a very bad idea. Against my intuition there I was heading down crazy train with little Audrey who kept falling down.

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{ CNY { {SHIFT+CONTROL COVER COVERSTORY WOMAN }} } “Yes, my grandfather told me my ultimate purpose in life, my other half, Daniel Baldwin, convinced me that I needed to share what he calls, “My GOD given gift.”

By the time we finally got to the bottom I was totally surprised to see that no one else was finished with the run before us.

Grant had taken a 15 foot fall and landed directly on his back. Ski patrol medics were summoned and cleared Grant to ski on.

We waited for 15 or so minutes. I was getting very concerned.

Although the ski patrol had cleared my son I decided to take him to the hospital to get checked out.

Then they all came down the run at once. Lorraine skied over and said, “Thank GOD you didn’t see that’ Grant took a pretty bad fall. He went over what he thought was a hill, but was actually a jump.”

The emergency room doctor examined Grant and ordered x rays and a CAT scan.

Grant was cleared and sent home.

The doctor said, “you’re so lucky

he didn’t break anything but expect him to be sore for the next few days.

That night as we were making dinner my sons only complaint was that his shoulder was hurting.

I remember glancing at him and suddenly it overwhelmed me “they missed something, I’m bringing him back” A storm was in the forecast and the snow had already begun to fall. On the drive back to the ER I called and told the nurse that “I was there this afternoon with my son, I’m bringing him back. I know you

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“Daniel calls me “Love Shine” I’m here to do both.”

missed something. I need you to check all of his internal organs, like his spleen”.

Two hours later, and a battery of tests, a ruptured spleen was being repaired in the operating room.

After sewing up my son the surgeon came out and said, “you were lucky, 116

had you waited till morning he would have bled to death in his sleep”.

That was the last time I second guessed a having a “Knowing”.

So would you say you were a seer?

Hmmm? I guess in some ways you could say that. I am primarily a medical

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intuitive. The problem is I don’t always have total control over it. I’ll see someone and it will pop in my head and come flying out of my mouth.

One day I’m in a Wegmans and I’ll see someone who is in bad trouble medically. I’ll just walk up and tell them. There are also times when I have to look away because I can see

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“I am a 52 year old woman, A mother of 2, Daniel Baldwin’s other half, a medical intuitive and a child of GOD.”

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“The study of Breast Implant Illness and it’s ramifications are in their infancy. This is

this person does not have long to live on the earth. It’s so sad when that happens.

What do you mean?

It all starts by my looking at someone. If I see something? Then I scan them. It helps if they are open to it. I can many times tell what organ is in duress, what vitamins or minerals they are deficient in. What systems in the body are weak.

ago. I like many woman just wanted my nice full breasts back. You know, the ones pregnancy and nursing two children robbed from me. Little did I know that the surgery that emotionally made me feel better about myself was

Anything else you want our audience to know Robin?

Robin: Yes, my grandfather told me my ultimate purpose in life, my other half, Daniel Baldwin, convinced me that I needed to share what he calls, “My GOD given gift” I have decided that they are both right. I am here to help. To deliver the messages I receive to those who want to listen and grow.

I am here to serve. If you need to contact me, please don’t hesitate, I can help you.

Daniel calls me “Love Shine” I’m here to do both.

What’s next for you Robin?

I ’m s h o o t i n g a documentary right now.

It’s about BII. (Breast Implant Illness)

I had my implants done over a decade 120

I will undergo my explant surgery this month and can’t wait to feel better again.

If you need my help with this message me on my blog, twitter or instagram.

It’s like a super fast download of information and energy. I can usually come up with a pretty good treatment plan right away but if we exchange numbers and get a more in-depth medical history I can help them get better.

The study of Breast implant illness and it’s ramifications are in their infancy. This is a very real problem that has exploded on the scene worldwide in the last few years.

have become a bit of an expert in the field and am here to help anyone who needs it.

actually a ticking time bomb. With over 20 potentially toxic materials in the plastic casing alone, I have been on an quest since inception that has taken me to Europe and many many states in search of answers. I

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Instagram AskRobinHertz Word Press AskRobinHertz@wordpress. com Twitter AskRobinHertz

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s a very real problem that has exploded on the scene worldwide in the last few years. ”

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{ CNY { { SHIFT+CONTROL COVER COVERSTORY WOMAN }} } “I am here to serve. If you need to contact me, please don’t hesitate, I can help you. ”

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{ IN HER OWN WORDS }

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{ IN HER OWN WORDS }

MEG PETTI

BY MEG PETTI

You have a purpose more significant than you know. My story is hard to hear, read, tell, but I do for the others that might need this today or tomorrow. I am just like you, I was a teenager, and now I am a mom.

I have a beautiful home with my four kids and my husband. I am an entrepreneur, and by looking at me, you would never know I was a Rape Survivor. My name is Meggan, and I look like a normal typical woman. We talk and walk by these women daily. I am vulnerable and share my story because if it just helps one person, that’s all I need, and I know that is what I am meant to do.

The summer before my Senior Year, I worked at a gas station to pay my bills, my car, and so I could buy what I wanted. That year I was young, and I wasn’t super confident in myself.

Middle School and High School is a rough place when you’re picked on.

While at work at one point in time, this older cop was pursuing me, which made me super uncomfortable. He pressured me a lot and did not like taking no for an answer. I was finally able to tell him no, I would not meet him through text message, but that was not going to be the end of it.

He eventually met me at work and insisted I talk with him. So I did. He had an open Smirnoff In the truck and pressured me to drink it until I did. I was so uncomfortable with the whole situation, but I figured I could take one or two sips, and that would stop him from asking. What I didn’t know It had sleeping pills in it. Once I started losing my vision, I knew this was not going to end

well. I had thoughts of running away but was terrified if I did what might happen. I desperately texted people to help me, and nothing worked.

So I prayed. I went in and out of consciousness, and the unthinkable happened next.

The next day I woke up at home, not knowing how I got there. Just remembering bits and pieces. I went

to my friend’s house because I was so confused about what had happened and needed to talk to her. She knew I was raped when I didn’t want to believe it. My two friends and their mom brought me to the hospital immediately. I had decided I would press charges, and I didn’t want to go initial because of the feelings of shame and people knowing. I know my name had to be protected, but it wouldn’t be living in a small town. I was slandered in the community and the media.

At this point, with the investigation and leading up to the trail I had severe PTSD, d e p re s s i o n , anxiety, night terrors, and was extremely afraid of the dark. I had to leave NY because I was too scared to live. When I lived on my own, I was too frightened to leave my car at night, so I would sleep in it until the sun would rise. That would not be my life forever, and I am thankful for that every day. Those low points gave me the strength to be the woman I am today.

One day I knew the time would come, I would have to face him, and

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{ IN HER OWN WORDS }

“My story is hard to hear, read, tell, but I do for th

I did. He was found guilty. A lot of the pain I had been going through for the past two years had resolved.

I knew I could live the next 8 to 10 years without fear. Coming forward was the hardest part of my life, but probably one of the leading causes of my healing. I do not believe that all cops are corrupt. I have many friends that are cops, and they are the kindest people I know.

I have worked on myself in many areas for healing, and it never stops.

I did much counseling and sharing my story with other women. I turned to therapeutic oils and CST Therapy currently. Therapy helps me to work through more walls and barriers. I am always working on my personal development with audiobooks or in-person training because I know I can continuously improve my mental and physical being. Please, if I am speaking to you, never be ashamed to seek help or personal growth. You are worth it.

Every man, woman, or child that has been challenged with rape, violence, or abuse, you are a Survivor, not a victim! Your here today to spread the word. You’re here to help someone make it one more day. To help them cope when they are at their worst. You have a purpose more significant than you know. You are stronger than you know. It’s time to be that inspiration to others by using your story to help them get where you are.

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{ IN HER OWN WORDS }

he others that might need this today or tomorrow.”

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{ GLENNA’S { IN HER OWN CBDWORDS CORNER} }

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{ GLENNA’S CBD CORNER }

CBD EXPLAINED

BY GLENNA COLAPRETE I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY

Glenna’s CBD Best Oil was organically developed by Glenna Colaprete-Hudson, who has suffered with chronic neuropathy since 2003. She was in desperate need of findinga healthy choice for pain relief that had no undesirable or life threatening side effects While visiting family in Denver, Colorado, she was introduced to CBD oil It was a life-changing discovery! Since then, it’s been her mission to research and cultivate CBD products that are safe, effective and 3rd party tested. Her drive and passion became a budding reality when she developed Glenna’s CBD Best Oil in 2015

deciding factor”. Glenna takes special consideration in selecting ingredients that go into the products, which are tested in a FDA certified clean lab and 3rd party tested for purity and quality. Each product is cared for from Seed to Sale with consistent organic practices.

CBD has been proven to help alliviate anxiety, insomnia, migraines, tourettes, epilepsy, neuralgia and arthritis pain just to name a few.

Glenna’s CBD Best Oil has 3 brick and mortar stores located in, Eastview Mall, 12 Corners n Brighton and Ridge Road in Webster Woods Plaza. Glenna’s CBD is excited to announce they are currently harvesting their first NY Industrial Hemp crop for their premium oil.

Each plant is planted by hand, organically grown and l carefully nurtured by Glenna’s CBD family and team . There are no pesticides or harmful elements used in the growing process. The land has not been used in over 15 years and is organically eligible for certification (pursuing certification). The harvest was completed this week, again by hand and is now drying/ curing before the precious oils are extracted.

Glenna’s CBD Best Oil has a dedicated team, ready to share their experience and knowledge to each and every customer.

They are iknowledgable in CBD and are passionate about helping people find relief through the healing components found in Glenna’s CBD. Reviewers denote how the staff had, “an encyclopedic knowledge of CBD” and “product knowledge as a

CBD or cannabidiol is one of over 100 cannabinoids found in the industrial hemp plant that Glenna’s CBD Best Oil uses.

CBD EXPLAINED

Cannabidiol (CBD) is a cannabinoid.

Cannabinoids are powerful compounds in the hemp plant, that aid in providing amazing relief for numerous health ailments.

CBD is one of the major phytocannabinoids along with tetrahydrocannabinol which is THC (up to 0.3% THC is allowed in full spectrum industrial hemp products).

CBD accounts for up to 40% of the hemp plant’s extract. A phytocannabinoid such

as CBD or THC is one of the different chemical compounds found in hemp that acts on cannabinoid receptors in cells that alter neurotransmitter release in the brain.

All cannabinoids, including CBD, work with your own endocannabinoid system (ECS), Endo (which means within the body) and Cannabinoid (the active ingredient that it acts upon). ECS includes Cannabinoid (CB) receptors, which regulate pain and inflammation. ECS controls coordination, movement, pain, emotions, mood, thoughts, appetite, our immune system and basically controls homeostasis. The human brain has multiple cannabinoid receptors with two called CB1 and CB2 (also found in mammals, fish, reptiles and birds). CB1 is predominantly found in the brain and CB2 predominantly found in our CNS (central nervous system) & immune system. CB2 may be responsible for the antiinflammatory effects of CBD hemp extract.

CBD gives you the benefit of cannabis without the high associated with THC. CBD does work with other receptors besides CB1 and CBD 2, mainly affecting serotonin (feelings of well-being and happiness) and vanilloid receptors (a molecular gateway to the pain pathway). This potentially enables CBD’s anti-inflammatory and pain reduction qualities.

“Hemp has a very low amount of the psychoactive constituent Δ9tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) but higher quantities of CBD, which may offer a range of medicinal benefits without the cognitive effects and abuse potential associated with THC.” NIH Important Cannabinoids include: ● Cannabidiol (CBD)

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{ GLENNA’S CBD CORNER }

“CBD has been proven to help alleviate anxiety, insomnia, migraines

● ● ● ● ● ●

Cannabinol (CBN) Cannabigerol (CBG) Cannabichromene (CBC) Cannabidivarin (CBDv) Cannabidiolic Acid (CBDA) Naturally Present Terpenes

CBD is administered in a variety of mediums.

Tinctures are administered sublingually, i.e. under the tongue and are absorbed very quickly into the tissue and bloodstream via the mucous membranes in the mouth.

Capsules are swallowed, absorbed through the gastrointestinal tract and metabolized by the liver. . A topical absorption of salves, lotions and creams are absorbed intothe affected skin, tissues and joints. The skin has many CB2 receptors that interact with cannabinoids and CBD has strong antiinflammatory properties. Dosing amounts and time periods are varied per person and ailment. Start out with 1 dropper or 1 capsule a day to assess effectiveness and gradually increase as needed.

A Neurotherapeutics review and other studies found that CBD may help to reduce or alleviate the following ailments: ● Anxiety, Depression & Mood ● Arthritis (including Rheumatoid Arthritis) ● Asthma ● Autism ● Cancer (Recent studies have shown that CBD reduces cancer cell viability in many cancer types such as neuroblastoma, glioblastoma, melanoma, leukemia, colorectal, breast, lung, or prostate cancer) ○ Colon, Pancreatic, Prostate, ● Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE), Concussions & other brain injuries ● Dementia ○ Alzheimer’s, Huntington & Parkinson’s Disease ● Epilepsy ● Fibromyalgia ● Headaches & Migraines 138

● Inflammation ● Inflammatory Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and Crohn’s Disease ● Insomnia and Other Sleep Disorders ● Multiple Sclerosis and other Musculoskeletal Pain ● Neuropathy (and Pudendal Neuralgia) ● Pain (including chronic pain) ● PTSD ● Skin Issues: Acne, Psoriasis, Eczema & Rosacea ● Smoking Reduction ● Tourette’s Syndrome CBD may benefit a person or pet’s health in a variety of ways by providing natural pain relief and anti-inflammatory properties. The Journal of Experimental Medicine found that CBD significantly reduced chronic inflammation and pain in some mice and rats. The researchers suggested that the non-psychoactive compounds such as CBD, could provide a new treatment for chronic pain, quitting smoking and drug withdrawals.

CBD may be a promising treatment for people with opioid addiction The researchers noted that CBD reduced some symptoms associated with substance use disorders. These included anxiety, mood-related symptoms, pain, and insomnia.

1. “Opioid abuse is a significant global

public health problem. Of the over million opiate-dependent subjects today, only less than a quarter of such individuals receive treatment. CBD’s selective effect on drugseeking behavior was pronounced after 24 hrs and endured even two weeks after the last drug administration following shortterm CBD exposure. The fact that drug craving is generally triggered by exposure to conditioned cues suggests that CBD might be an effective treatment for heroin craving, specially given its protracted impact

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on behavior. CBD has already been shown in various clinical studies to be well tolerated with a wide safety margin in human subjects.

CBD thus represents a strong candidate for the development as a potential therapeutic agent in humans for opioid craving and relapse prevention.”

2. “While CBD seems to have direct effects

on addictive behaviors, its therapeutic potential could also be enhanced by several properties that contribute indirectly to addictive disorders. For example, its antianxiety properties are well known at doses of 300–600 mg and CBD seems to have antidepressant and anticonvulsant effects”.

After researching the safety and effectiveness of CBD oil for treating epilepsy, the FDA just approved the use of CBD (Epidiolex) as a therapy for two rare epileptic conditions and other neurological symptoms and disorders Researchers are studying the effects of CBD on various neuropsychiatric disorders. A 2014 review noted that CBD has anti-seizure properties and a low risk of side effects for people with epilepsy. Findings suggested that CBD may also treat many complications linked to epilepsy, such as neurodegeneration, neuronal injury, and psychiatric diseases. A Current Pharmaceutical Design published study found that CBD may produce effects similar to those of certain antipsychotic drugs, and that the compound may provide a safe and effective treatment for people with schizophrenia.

Further research is necessary.

The British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology found evidence that CBD significantly helped to prevent the spread of cancer. The researchers also noted that the compound tends to suppress the growth of cancer cells, promote their destruction and has low levels of toxicity. CBD has been shown to be Antineoplastic (acting to prevent, inhibit or halt the development of a neoplasm aka a tumor).

{ GLENNA’S CBD CORNER }

s, Tourette’s, epilepsy, neuralgia and arthritis pain just to name a few. ”

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{ GLENNA’S CBD CORNER }

“Glenna’s CBD Best Oil has 3 brick and mortar stores located in, Eastview Mall, 12 Corners they are currently harvesting their first NY Ind

Doctors often advise people with chronic anxiety to avoid cannabis as THC can trigger or amplify feelings of anxiousness and paranoia. No further definitive evidence links CBD to adverse affects. CBD also has a better safety profile compared to other cannabinoids, such as THC. For instance, high doses of CBD (up to 1500 mg/day) are well tolerated in animals and humans. In contrast to THC, CBD does not alter heart rate, blood pressure, or body temperature, does not induce catalepsy, nor alter psychomotor or psychological functions.

A Pediatric Anxiety and PTSD study concluded that CBD oil can be an effective compound to reduce anxiety and insomnia secondary to PTSD. Type 1 diabetes results from inflammation that occurs when the immune system attacks cells in the pancreas. Research published in 2016 by Clinical Hemorheology and Microcirculation found that CBD may ease this inflammation in the pancreas. This may be the first step in finding a CBD-based treatment for type 1 diabetes. A paper presented in Lisbon, Portugal, suggested that CBD may reduce inflammation and protect against or delay the development of type 1 diabetes.

Acne, eczema, rosacea treatment is another promising use for CBD (Glenna’s CBD Best Oil Even & Clear). These conditions are caused, in part, by inflammation and overworked sebaceous glands in the body.

CBD is seen as a potent “universal” anti-acne agent, possessing a unique “triple anti-acne” profile. This is especially promising, because the currently available, most effective antiacne agent, isotretinoin, is known to cause serious side effects. A 2014 study published by the Journal of Clinical Investigation found that CBD helps to lower the production of sebum that leads to acne, partly because 140

of its anti-inflammatory effect on the body. Sebum is an oily substance, and overproduction can cause acne.

Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease found that CBD was able to prevent the development of social recognition deficit in participants.

Meaning that CBD could help people in the early stages of Alzheimer’s by reducing the buildup of plaques and tangles, and therefore a viable potential as treatment options for Alzheimer’s disease. Turmeric and Extra Virgin Olive Oil have shown promise with easing Alzheimer’s disease impacts as well.

Many small-scale studies have looked into the safety of CBD in adults. They concluded that adults tend to tolerate a wide range of doses well. Researchers have found no significant side effects on the CNS (Central Nervous System), the vital signs, or mood, even among people who used high dosages.

A person can use CBD oil in different strengths and mediums to relieve various symptoms. We offer tinctures (sublingual), capsules, creams,salves andlotions to be applied topically on the skin. Triple Relief Salve & Serenity Lotion work great together on localized muscle, tendon and joint pain as well as an everyday lotion. Our Healing Salve & Lotion with Colloidal Silver (anti-bacterial) also work well on muscle, tendon and joint pain along with

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER EDITION 2019

burns, cuts and other wounds.

GLENNA’S CBD BEST OIL FULL SPECTRUM, BROAD SPECTRUM & ISOLATE CBD

Glenna’s CBD Best Oil Premium Products are derived from NY & Colorado Hemp Farms since 2016. ○ Industrial hemp is defined as the cannabis

{ GLENNA’S CBD CORNER }

n Brighton and Ridge Road in Webster Woods Plaza. Glenna’s CBD is excited to announce dustrial Hemp crop for their premium oil.”

e cannabis plant with less than 0.3% THC. ○ Glenna’s CBD Best Oil offers Full Spectrum CBD (whole plant 0.3% max), Broad Spectrum (cannabinoids but 0% THC) as well as Isolate (0% THC) products.

■ Full spectrum (or “whole plant”) products contain CBD as well as terpenes and other cannabinoids such as CBG, CBN and

0.3% THC or less. Full spectrum products are the most popular do to the “entourage effect”. Entourage effect is the synergy of all the cannabinoids and terpenes working together to help achieve pain relief and restore homeostasis.

■ Broad Spectrum also contain various cannabinoids and terpenes but 0% THC ■ Isolates contains only CBD and 0% THC. ● Glenna’s CBD Best Oil products are cultivated using organic practices and solvent free raw materials for consistent, high quality CBD products from seed to sale.. ● Certificate of Analysis (COA) is provided for all Glenna’s CBD Best Oil products (3rd party testing confirms free from visual mold, mildew, metals, pesticides and foreign matter). ○ Many raw and synthetic forms of CBD, including crystalline isolate are flooding the US market from China and Eastern Europe, contain heavy metals, toxins, and/or other chemicals. ● “Full Spectrum” products include cannabinoids and terpenes including CBD and up to 0.3% THC. “Broad Spectrum” products include CBD plus other cannabinoids and terpenes but 0% THC. “Isolate” products include only CBD (0% THC). ● Hemp seed oil or MCT oil are the “carrier oils.” Carrier oils dilute the concentrated hemp extract (which includes the pure

CBD and doesn’t reduce the effectiveness) to improve the taste of the product, makes the CBD more efficient and increase the bioavailability of CBD. Bioavailability refers to how much the human body can process of a substance at a time, after which all the benefits are wasted (analogous to Vitamin C). ○ MCT Oil (medium-chain triglyceride) is a fatty acid composed of a 6-to-12 carbon chain. It is one of the most effective carriers for CBD sublingual use (tinctures). Medium chain fatty acids go directly to the liver, where they can give you an energy boost (Keto approved).

Glenna’s CBD Best Oil full spectrum tinctures are available in the following strengths: ● 300 mg (used by many for anxiety & pain) ● 500 mg (also used by many for pain & insomnia) ● 1000 mg ● 1500 mg ● 2000 mg Glenna’s CBD Best Oil Water Soluble Concentrates can be mixed into different foods or drinks or taken with a pipette or dropper (1500mg or 3000mg isolate).

Recommended dosages vary between individuals, the concentration (mg) of the product and the health issue.

Any medical information published on this website is not intended as a substitute for informed medical advice and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional. If you are on medication, please consult with your doctor before taking CBD hemp extract to prevent potential medication side effects. ?????

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{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }

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BEFORE

{ DISHING WITH THE DIVA’S }

EUROTHREADING PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY & CHERYL KATES

Who doesn’t hate the double chin look?

also meant down time. All of that has changed.

As we age as women, unfortunately our skin starts to sag, wrinkles and fine lines start to appear and we can become more self-conscious.

Recently, I had the opportunity to accompany Kelly Breuer, Diva 2, to Dr. Vega’s Med Spa in Bushnell’s Basin where she was receiving newest, non-invasive facelift procedure called eurothreading. She was also

With the emergence of medical spas everywhere, one can barely keep up with the new products let alone the treatments available. It is a long process to look at all of the options, do the research and then carefully consider what option is right for you.

There are lasers, fillers, Botox, fat removal and the list goes on and on. Many procedures are not performed by a trained medical doctor, so be careful when researching what you want done and by who.

In the past, these procedures were all something which were very costly and not available for just anyone. It also meant going under the knife and having surgery, which

receiving lip filler and threading as well.

The procedure was quick(roughly 45mins-hour), painless and produced instant results.

All of the staff was very knowledgeable about what they were doing. The

office setting was very comfortable and welcoming.

It was interesting to watch Dr. Vega at work. I was very surprised at the results that were achieved with this non-surgical procedure.

WHAT IS EUROTHREADING? EuroThreads are resorbable surgical sutures composed of biodegradable polymers. The treatment is minimally invasive and produces instant results.

Polydioxanone (PDO) sutures are used for biomedical applications, particularly in cardiothoracic surgery because it is fully absorbed by hydrolysis within 4 to 6 months and doesn’t create any scar tissue.

The foreign body stimulates collagen synthesis and the skin structure created will hold for 12 to 15 months. This is according to the eurothreadlift.com website.

Dr Vega told us that he has seen results still effective afer 2 years.

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{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

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DIVA #2 It truly was an amazing experience.

Dr Vega and Christina McDonald (nurse practicioner) were incredible and made me feel so comfortable every step of the way. They explained in detail the entire process, what they were doing, and how it should feel before during and after the procedure.

Afterward, I was in a little discomfort later that evening as rhe numbing wore off and I tried to lay down.

The area where the threads were snapped into place felt tender, but nothing intolerable. I didnt have any bruising or swelling except for a minor amount (which is to be expected) in my upper lip from the filler.

It didn’t hurt at all and literally the results were noticeable instantly. No more jowels. No more tiny lips. No more marrionette lines. I walked away looking 10 years younger with no surgery.

Christina knew exactly how to inject the filler into my upper lip to give it just enough plump so it looks natural and truly amazing now, only three weeks later.

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I am beyond pleased with my results and have gotten many compliments on how amazing my skin looks, and how much younger I look. I love the fact that is really looks so natural and noone would ever know that I had anything done.

I hope everyone will join me in February as I celebrate my birthday with a Diva’s Nite with Vega Med Spa. They will have 1-NITE ONLY specials on Eurothreading, Fillers, and more!

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

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“It didn’t hurt at all and literally the results were noticeable instantly. No more jowels. No more tiny lips. No more marrionette lines. I walked away looking 10 years younger with no surgery.”

{ WOMAN OWNED BUSINESS }

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{ WOMEN ON THE MOVE }

RAISING YOUR VOICE

BY TERRY DANIELE

It’s a typical campaign meet and greet―high volume, high energy―when a subtle change in barometric pressure and a communal sense of anticipation drift across the crowd. In this era of smart, highly- motivated-to-docommunity-work, women, ‘We Can Do It’, Terry Daniele arrives.

There’s no explaining this phenomenon. We start believing again. She’s a number person and a do-good-for-the-world advocate. She knows Monroe County.

the political arena.

A LIFE REIMAGINED Few candidates are impassioned to serve because they believe they literally owe their lives to Monroe County. County social workers assigned to Terry due to reported abuse, determinedly found her every

“I’ve worked hard my entire life,” Terry says. “I am running because I want to make a difference for everyone in Monroe County. We can and must do more to meet the needs of all our residents―not just the privileged few.”

Terry brings a level of honor (and, yes, glamour) to the local political scene that we have sorely missed.

And, at a time when many have given up, believe our system is broken beyond repair and find participation in political life joyless, Terry makes us take another look, take another chance.

Terry is running for Monroe County Legislator in District 5, a district that is not often contested by a Democrat.

But while she is a proud Democrat, this race is about local issues, not the divisive party politics or rancor on the national stage, and she is well prepared. She has done the research, met the people and studied the issues. She is ready to bring her drive, intelligence and integrity to

found two businesses before earning a bachelor’s degree in American Sign Language-English Interpreting from RIT. She has provided interpreting services for number of organizations and served as supervisor of interpreting services for BOCES 2, assisting deaf moms, dads and children. Now happily remarried, she is the proud mother of two highly successful children and is eager to repay the community that has been so good to her.

time the family moved, which was often. Their efforts and kindness saved Terry and have motivated her since.

“I know the importance of a strong Monroe County government, one that is fiscally responsible and protects its citizens, especially children,” she affirms.

Terry worked with her husband to

ENSURING THAT E V E RY B O D Y WINS Terry was first encouraged to run for office in 2017. She’s been knocking on doors ever since and is determined to meet as many voters face to face as she can. Her message is clear.

“We need to create jobs, sustain small businesses and farms, use PILOT programs wisely, keep our graduates here, and make sure that tax dollars are spent on programs proven to

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improve quality of life,” she states.

“Many of our current representatives are simply not effective anymore.

They’re entrenched in old, tired, back-room practices. Our taxes just keep going up. Where’s our return on investment?”

Terry’s first priority is addressing the County’s $1.2 billion operating budget. A 2018 audit by the New York State Controller revealed that 156

“(t)he County’s financial condition has been deficient for a number of years” including 2014, 2015, 2016 and 2017.

“We must demand transparent accounting practices,” Terry maintains.

“Despite the County’s assurances to the contrary, what we have is obfuscation; waste; and a disturbing lack of reporting and accountability.

The New York State Comptroller has criticized the way the county’s general

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fund monies are moved from one account to another without following normal accounting practices and without clear explanation. How much is being spent and where?”

“The Legislature is supposed to provide checks and balances,” she continues. “People expect some level of care for their taxes. They deserve representatives who will be visible, responsive and effective - who will

{ WOMAN OWNED BUSINESS }

marges

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{ WOMEN ON THE MOVE } “Many of our current representatives are simply not effective anymore. They’re entrenched in old, tired, back-room practices. Our taxes just keep going up.

Where’s our return on investment?”

, responsive and effective - who will listen and take action. We must collaborate to get clean, affordable energy at the best prices; complement the superb higher education our area is renowned for, with outstanding vocational and technical training; and compete for, retain and properly

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compensate the best candidates for County jobs. This is our civic duty.

It can happen only when we work together, work tough and work lean.

Politician is a bad word today. Hardworking, hard-charging Terry Daniele will redefine it – putting “represent”

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back in “representative” and “serve” back in “public servant”.

And if, as they say, Democrats fall in love and Republicans fall in line, there is plenty to love here, and the line is out the door and around the block.

{ WOMEN ON THE MOVE } “Politician is a bad word today. Hard-working, hard-charging Terry Daniele will redefine it – putting “represent” back in “representative” and “serve” back in “public servant” .”

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La Luna Italian Restaurant & Banquet Center for all of your event needs!

Weddings, Corporate Functions, Galas, Rehearsal Dinners, Holiday Parties, Bridal/ Baby Showers.

60 Browns Race Rochester, New York Call (585) 232-5862

{ THE FITNESS DIVO }

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{ THE FITNESS DIVA }

WELCOME LAY’ LAH BUNNY FITNESS

BY LAY’ LAH I PHOTOS BY CHRISTOPHER CARDWELL

Hi! My name is Lay’lah Fisher, certified fitness instructor/health & wellness coach located in Rochester, NY.

Although I no longer body build, I have continued to do what I truly love and that is coach people along on their fitness journey.

I started my fitness journey at age 24, when I felt that I wasn’t making the healthiest choices for myself by overindulging in fast food and sweets.

After realizing how my eating habits affected me both physically and emotionally, I decided to make some changes. Around my heaviest weight of nearly 200lbs I began a routine of healthy eating and consistent cardio. Once I started seeing results, I knew I needed to take my fitness journey to the next level.

People were always inquiring about my slimmer appearance, so I began coaching on an individual basis. I got into bodybuilding competitions and competed for two years, winning third place in my first competition.

needs. I now have the most energy I have ever experienced, and I feel amazing physically too. My confidence is thought the roof at home as well as in the gym. I want to share my knowledge and experience with others. I want to help people change their mindset and lead healthier, happier lives as well!!

I think that working out should not only be fun but challenging. I began to design a workout routine for people across all fitness levels. When I am in the gym I feel like a superhero; strong, fearless, and unstoppable. I want my clients to feel the same way!!

I want to empower women to know that they should never be afraid to look or feel strong!

Recently I introduced a plantbased lifestyle into my nutritional

I encourage anyone that is considering kickstarting their fitness journey to contact me at Laylahbunnyfitnss@gmail.com

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“When I am in the gym I feel like a superhero; strong, fearless, and unstoppable. I want my clients to feel the same way!!

I want to empower women to know that they should never be afraid to look or feel strong!”

THE FITNESS DIVA

My goal is to inspire others and guide them into the right direction to a healthier lifestyle.

Call me TODAY! (585) 201-2356

{ SHE ROCS }

AT S.H.E. SALON

BY KAITLYN FRANCISCO

At S.H.E. Salon & Academy we’re leaders in all things lash artistry! Fiercely committed to quality eyelash extension application and styling. S.H.E. is a team of experienced and state-licensed and insured cosmetologists and estheticians. Through our expert lash application, we strive for both excellence and safety for our clients. We source our own supplies, using exclusively high-quality, vegan and cruelty-free lashes in addition to non-toxic, medical grade glue. We even offer carbon-free glue for sensitive skin.

Carrying multiple adhesives and brands of lashes allows for perfect formulas crafted specifically for each client individually.

with multiple dimensions: length, thickness, curl, and texture. Eyelash extensions are applied to each natural lash, one extension per lash. Natural lashes have their own life cycle. Every natural lash grows until it meets a specific length (around 3/8 of an inch on average), then it falls out and a new hair will grow in its place. These cycles last 30-60 days.

The average person loses 1-5 natural lashes per day. Eyelash extensions will “grow, rest, and shed” with the natural lash’s life cycle.

Lash extensions, when applied properly,

Lash application is an art.

Here at S.H.E. we operate on this belief and reject the idea of a one-size-fits-all experience. We want clients to leave each appointment with maximum satisfaction, no matter how long it takes.

At S.H.E. we specialize in one thing: perfect lash artistry. Most salons specialize in a multitude of different services, which we also tried! However, we found that specializing in one thing allows us to become true masters of the craft. Like many beauty services, eyelash extensions are not the kind of thing you want to risk having a bad experience with.

S.H.E. uses special techniques that ensure healthy, beautiful lashes that last long and feel fantastic. We are committed to making every visit and every lash exceptional.

EYELASH EXTENSION FAQ’S: What Are Eyelash Extensions?

Eyelash extensions are made up of single fibers 170

and day-to-day routine, refills should only be required every 2 to 4 weeks.

How long will it take to apply eyelash extensions and how is it done?

The application process for lash extensions normally takes about 90-120 minutes for a full set of lashes and 45-90 minutes for a refill. You will lay comfortably on a massage table with your eyes closed while relaxing ambient music is played in the background. During application, your lower lashes will be covered and the extensions will be applied only to your upper lashes one at a time.

How do I choose the look I want?

Your technician will consult with you to understand what type of style you are interested in and what look will work best with your natural lashes. The overall look of the lashes can range from very natural to very voluminous!

will NOT cause damage to natural lashes or their life cycle. Lash extension refills are recommended every 2-4 weeks to remove loose or grown-out extensions and apply new extensions to new natural lashes that have grown in.

How long will a set of Eyelash Extensions last?

When applied by one of our amazing professionals, eyelash extensions will last the length of the natural growth cycle of your own eyelashes. Depending on your activity

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How do I take care of my new eyelash

extensions?

• Wash lashes with water with in the first 24 hours of application.

• Avoid hot steam or sauna • Use S.H.E. Salon lash wash daily to remove any eye makeup and cleanse the lashes.

• Do not perm eyelashes or manually curl.

• Brush with a clean mascara wand daily.

• No oils and no mascaras!

What happens if I choose to have my eyelash extensions removed?

We do offer a service to have the extensions

{ SHE ROCS } “S.H.E. is a team of experienced and state-licensed and insured cosmetologists and estheticians. Through our expert lash application, we strive for both excellence and safety for our clients.”

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removed involving a short thirty-minute appointment in which we apply a gel remover. The gel remover is applied on top of the extensions without touching the skin and allowed to sit for 10 minutes. Once the adhesive is dissolved the extensions are gently wiped away with lint free applicators exposing the natural lashes.

What’s happening in the academy?

S.H.E. Salon & Academy is located in Fairport. S.H.E. Salons lash extension educator and salon owner, Kaitlyn has over 10 years experience with lash extensions.

Kaitlyn has been a licensed esthetician for 10 years and has been lashing since graduation!

Kaitlyn still does lashes on clients today and specializes in mega volume. She is a 6 Time Certified Lash Extensionist. Kaitlyn has trained with brands such as Novalash, Xtreme lash, Borboletta, Lavish Lashes, Lash God, Lashbox L.A. and more ! Kaitlyn is also an INSURED AND CERTIFIED EYELASH EXTENSION EDUCATOR. Her eyelash extension education certification was received through NALA, The National Association of Lash Artists. Kaitlyn is always assisted by her sister Cara who is also a NALA certified and insured lash educator.

Cara and Kaitlyn have been working side by side for over 4 years!

S.H.E. Salon & Academy’s lash courses are ACCREDITED through NALA. Accreditation is the review of the quality of higher education; the tool used to monitor, assess and evaluate the quality of education a student receives at a lash training facility. Accreditation is not just granted to any training course. NALAs Process of accreditation was developed using five years of global research. This means S.H.E. Salons lash classes are performed meeting some of the highest standards in the world !! Attending a course that is NALA accredited can give you the confidence that this program is the BEST it can possibly be for students. Accredited programs are held to a higher standard. As a NALA certified educator, Kaitlyn has studied all 7 learning styles that differ from person to person. S.H.E. Salons courses are taught involving every learning style, so that there is something that benefits every individual!

You can leave feeling proud that you will be properly prepared for a successful career in the lash industry. S.H.E.s education extends beyond the classroom, and the instructors will always be there to help you, even after 174

attending the course.

What is exceptional about S.H.E. Salons training manual?!

S.H.E. Salon Lash Bar & Lash Academy’s training manual was created using years worth of research. Not only will you learn lash extension application techniques, but also ingredients in the products and the science behind how and why they work. On top of so much more ! Kaitlyn has blended together techniques from 6 different reputable lash brands as well as her experience lashing over the past 10 years!

WHAT WILL BE TAUGHT IN CLASS: • Basics of lash extensions • Variety of classic and/ or volume techniques • Natural lash safety • Infection control • Allergic reactions • Health and anatomy of the eye • Problem solving and troubleshooting • Classic and volume weight calculation • Proper eye preparation for lash extension application • Natural lash growth cycle • Proper isolation • Perfect bonding tips • Correct fan placement • Eye styling • Building fans • Lash mapping • Lash designs • How to work faster and more efficient • Health codes • Licenses and insurance • Practice on a live model • Work evaluation and constructive criticism for future practice • Price evaluation and business growth advice LASH CLASS 101 is a beginner training for classic lash extensions. This technique uses a 1 to 1 ratio of lash extension and natural lash.

VOLUME LEVEL 1 is an advanced training for volume lash extensions. This technique uses 0.030.07mm lashes. This technique is also known as 3d- 7d.

S.H.E. offers certifications for classic lashes, hybrid lashes, and volume lashes.

Trainings are held at the S.H.E. Salon location every other month. S.H.E. Salon is also willing to travel and train more

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frequently! S.H.E. Salon & Academy is expanding its location in the next few months and hoping to host even more lash workshops then! One thing S.H.E is really looking forward to is hosting classes on lash designs, creating symmetry in faces with lash extensions, colored lashes, glitter dipped lashes, Swarovski crystal lashes and more !

What makes our business so special?!

We have a different concept in our salon than most others. Every technician that works at S.H.E. starts off as a commission based employee while they train and perfect their skill. Once they have advanced, Kaitlyn helps guide them into independent contractors, allowing them to be their own boss. The reason for this is to help every technician become an entrepreneur and enjoy the luxuries of running their own businesses all under the same roof. This way they can collaborate as a team but also have the independence of making their own schedules and being able to come and go/ take time off as they please. Kaitlyn believes that encouraging happiness and FREEDOM to her technicians is what creates a drama free environment where each person thrives on their own but also together ! At S.H.E. Salon we envy the motto “Leaders do not create followers.

Leaders create more leaders.” We believe each technicians authenticity should SHINE as well as their freedom of speech when it comes to building personal relationships with guests. We also collaborate with other salons and other lash technicians, making friends with all of them. Collaboration is the new competition. After all, we’re stronger when we stand together! We believe this is what makes our academy exceptional and sets our training apart from the rest.

At S.H.E. our hearts are 100% invested into EVERYTHING we do and EVERY person we meet!

Best advice for a lash tech just starting out: Patience and perseverance is EVERYTHING! No matter how hard or time consuming it may seem in the beginning just keep going, never be greedy, don’t give up and most importantly ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF !

Check us out on Instagram! @shesalon_rocny

{ SHE ROCS } “S.H.E. uses special techniques that ensure healthy, beautiful lashes that last long and feel fantastic. We are committed to making every visit and every lash exceptional.”

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SHE SALON, LASH BAR AND LASH ACADEMY

BY CHERYL KATES & KELLY BREUER

What exactly is a lash extension?

You might ask. A lash extension is a synthetic fiber your lash technician “glues” to your natural lash to provide thicker, voluminous lashes. There are many options to choose from. You can opt for a natural look or go over the top with lashes ranging from 6mm-18mm lengths. Long or short, curvy or classic, varied in colors and the option to add embellishments.

Lashes are fun, sexy and in!

Not every lash technician is good at what they do.

Lash extensions is an investment in your beauty ritual. They must be maintained.

Fills are required (every 2-4 weeks). If you are like me, using the false lashes from the drug store is not an option. Who the heck can get those things on straight or right up to the lash line? The adhesive sometimes doesn’t stick and then the corners of your glamourous lashes come up. Then what? Your flawless look of beauty becomes flawed.

What do we look for when we go to a salon? I like the salon to be fun. A place where you feel glamorous the moment you walk in, even before the

transformation begins. There are salons or there are SALONS. SHE Salon is definitely a SALON. The technicians are all beautiful. The have the latest fashions on, from their outfits to their shoes. Kaitlyn, the owner of SHE Salon was sporting pink hair for Breast Cancer Awareness month.

You could automatically feel she was going to make you beautiful. That

makes a difference in your experience.

When someone feels excited about what they do, it transforms your experience. You feel they want to be there, it is not just a job. They believe in their craft. Knowing the technician is up on the latest trends, immediately puts your mind at ease and you feel trust for their ability. Let’s face it, when you are in a salon, you generally don’t always see what they are doing

until the end, the moment when they hand you that little hand held mirror and in your mind you are thinking “ I better be beautiful”. Everyone has experience, you know, when you get that sinking feeling when you aren’t. Our face is our brand. It’s our identifier. You must trust your stylist/ technician, as one mistake could have devastating consequences. You know immediately when you walk in SHE Salon, you are going to leave saying ( like the pillow in the lobby), “ I got 99 problems but my lashes aren’t one!

So many to pick from!

Do I w a n t classic lashes, soft volume lashes, maybe a hybrid full set? Do I want to be bold daring and courageous and spring for the Mega Volume full set? Choice, choices. Diva 1 went for a mixture of the classic and soft volume while Diva 2 went bold with the Mega Volume.

Applying lash extensions is a tedious job. They are applied one-by-one.

SHE Salon developed their own products. It’s a one stop shop for everything lashes, from the product

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{ DISHING WITH THE DIVA’S } “This is the second time I have attempted getting lash extensions. They are absolutely beautiful.”

line to the aftercare.

Diva 1, Cheryl L. Kates, is not a fan of the false lashes bought in a store.

She shares, “I hate wearing fake eyelashes when I am on the runway or in a photo shoot. I cannot put them on. Yeah, they look pretty, but your lucky if you can even see after

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putting on dramatic versions for the best pictures. I tend not to use them.

This is the second time I have attempted getting lash extensions.

They are absolutely beautiful. I like that they are low maintenance. It is not too difficult to maintain going in every 3 to 4 weeks is doable. There

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is a dramatic change to your overall presentation when you add the lashes to your appearance. SHE Salon did a wonderful job and I am loving the results! Diva 2 concurs...”My lashes are absolutely amazing and I haven’t even lost many after 3 weeks!”

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INTRODUCING DR PAM DENTON

BY DR. PAM DENTON I PHOTOS BY KATRINA GRADY BRAND STORYOGRAPHY

Dr. Pam Denton, Leadership Consultant and Transformational Speaker, specializes in activating higher performance in business with the female form of leadership. Her mind-body approach to empowerment has helped thousands of women transform into authentic and confident leadership, succeeding to become unstoppable in reaching her full potential. Dr. Pam, author of She Means Business, speaks globally about female empowerment for business success and the importance of evolved leadership for modern day advancements.

She builds events for companies and her signature events are For the Love of Business Network, The Intuitive Expo, Transform Business Summit and Inspire Leadership Conference.

More on Dr. Pam visit www.pamdenton.com Inspired to become an entrepreneur because she have always known deep inside of her soul that she was. It was a feeling of passion

that resonates from the inside out and there is no backing down with business challenges. It was in Dr. Pam’s first job out of college

that she realized working for a corporation was not for her. Dr. Pam Denton was designed to run her own business. Listening to an inner voice that told her

to step forward and lead as a businesswoman.

When asked to elaborate about her business she stated “I vision, design and implement transformational leadership and business events that inspire collaboration, connection, creativity and team synergy for accelerated success in the modern age. We provide consultation for the strategy, speakers and facilitators and create with companies powerful change-maker events branded and messaged for business advancement. As a Transformational Speaker, I speak about the female form of leadership and coach female executives to evolve leadership strategies that activate higher performance”. Dr. Pam has been in business for 18 years.

When asked what does women empowerment m e a n t o D r. Pa m she empathized that female empowerment is overcoming the odds and moving through the challenges of business and life with the female power tools

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of authenticity, connection, collaboration, intuition, and creativity. It is a process and unfolding, women leading with a sense of confidence derived from inner strength, purpose, and mission.

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is to step out fearlessly and allow the business journey to shape you into a strong and courageous woman who knows what she wants and decides how to go out and get what she wants. Surround yourself with positive people in community so you can walk through the challenges and succeed.

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Dr. Pam Denton can be reached by email at drpamdenton@gmail.com

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Activating Higher Performance With Positive Transformation For Modern Day Advancements

NOVEMBER 3, 2019 / 10AM-5PM EMBASSY SUITES, DESTINY / SYRACUSE, NY

A full day positive transformation experience for you and your team.

Join us, because more people are doing business with businesses and leaders that have deeper meaning, positive attitude and purpose.

Power Packed Transformation Speaking

6 Break Out Sessions With Keynote Leaders

Vendors And Transformation Stations

Network Cafe And Collaborate

Tickets on sale now at https://inspireleadsyr.eventbrite.com / More info at PamDenton.com ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER EDITION 2019

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{ BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }

IT’S PURE BARRE PURE BARRE ROCHESTER UNVEILS NEW STUDIO DESIGN & ANNOUNCES GRAND RE-OPENING October 2019 – Pure Barre, the largest and most established barre concept in North America, is undergoing a refresh of its network of over 500 studios across the continent, including its Rochester, NY location. The refresh includes brand new studio buildouts and an overall enhanced experience for Pure Barre clients.

With an updated look and feel, the Rochester studio will continue to offer Pure Barre’s signature method through a variety of class formats, now within an enhanced studio where students have the ability to strengthen, connect and better their lives. Pure Barre Rochester will feature revamped studio elements such as modernized construction, new studio flooring, beautiful millwork throughout the lobby entrance and premium lighting.

The improvements are both functional and uplifting to support an elevated community experience.

“Think fresh space, same pace. Our dedicated team of instructors and

educators continue to bring a premier and unparalleled barre and fitness method to our Rochester community” said Christine Limuti, co-owner of Pure Barre Rochester. “At Pure Barre Rochester, our mission is to empower you to be your best self.”

To celebrate the grand re-opening, Pure Barre Rochester is offering any new client (and invite a friend to join you!) their first Foundations class complimentary. Plus, through the end of October you can receive

the first three months on either unlimited class agreements for 25% off! For more information on classes and upcoming events, please visit https://www.purebarre.com/location/ pittsford-ny ABOUT PURE BARRE Pure Barre is the largest, most established barre franchise with more than 500 studios across North America. With a dedicated following of 550,000+ clients, Pure Barre features an effective total body workout focused on low-impact, high-intensity movements that lift and tone muscles to improve strength,

agility and flexibility for every body.

For more information, visit www. purebarre.com.

Pure Barre Rochester E: pittsford@purebarre.com P: 585690-6102 W: https://www.purebarre.com/ location/pittsford-ny Follow us @purebarreroc FIRST CLASS FREE* Join us at the barre. Start your transformation today with your first Foundations class FREE! *New and local clients only (present ID at check-in). One offer permitted per client.

Cancellation policies apply. Expires 7 days from first use. Valid through 10/31/19.

Pure Barre Rochester E: pittsford@purebarre.com P: 585690-6102 W: https://www.purebarre.com/ location/pittsford-ny Follow us @purebarreroc

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@casefacemarie FB: Casey Marie caseymdupont@gmail.com

Model. Model Coach. Creative Director. Coordinator. Stylist.

CM

{ LIFE IN BALANCE }

ATTUNEMENT TO MIND & BODY

BY SARAH KACZOR GRECO

Yoga classes can be glorified stretching classes. To me, Yoga is attunement to mind and body. Should it not be an opportunity for us to be in union and attuned to ourselves?

Asana practice alone is not enough. As a yoga teacher, I want to offer more than a flowing choreography and a good stretch. Why are we doing what we do in a yoga posture?

How does it relate to our life away from the mat? Yoga can change life for the better right?

When I tell my class what to do, how to be and what to think, they are right there with me – in union. And they are listening to me! Rarely are they listening to themselves. As a yoga student, you may like that I tell you to relax; that I tell you to love your body; that I tell you to be grateful; that I tell you to let go into the moment.

But how long do you follow my telling once you leave my class?

What I want, as a yoga teacher, is to support my students finding union with themselves – not with me. I want them to feel empowered to be with themselves and their bodies from an inner source of knowing. This means 194

I can no longer just go through the motions of asana practice.

I’d been going through the motions for almost 10 years. And in order to gain experience in hands-on assists for these moves, I found myself at a Phoenix Rising Level 1 Training. The pictures in the advertisements were promising and showed examples of what it was

take rather simple positions and then, coached verbally how to pay attention to my body’s experience and its wisdom.

As I held my arms overhead, I was asked to notice what my body was feeling at that moment. EXHAUSTION! WHAT?!

Holding arms up was something I did everyday and for much longer than what I was experiencing in that moment. I was devastated to experience complete ov e r w h e l m i n g exhaustion in my arms and shoulders.

I felt disappointed in myself. How could I be so out of shape, weak and tired?

I was a yoga teacher with ten years of experience and now I felt humiliated. How could I have missed this exhaustion in my body?

I wanted to learn. However, what I discovered about Phoenix Rising Yoga (and myself) were surprisingly different from my expectations and more rewarding than I could have hoped.

Fit and strong, I attended my first Phoenix Rising Therapeutic Yoga Class as part of training. Instead of just being told where to put and how to hold every detail of my body, I was asked to

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The experience was so significant that it was to change my life.

With further coaching, I saw how this experience was a metaphor in how I was living my life. I saw my body overworked and under cared for in my daily schedule.

Chores, physical career, working out, and adventure recreation, demanded constant performance from my body.

Yet, in return, my body typically received disappointing returns or feedback. It could never live up to my expectations or the demands I made of it: Olympic

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Alpine Ski Champion, 6-pack abs, and cover-model beauty model.

truth: My body and I needed to form a much better relationship.

Regardless of going through the motions of asana practice for ten years, I had failed to be truly present with my body or myself. My ego and expectations created a denial of my body’s experience, intelligence and wisdom. It was the scapegoat for every fault and weakness.

And now here in one moment of great awareness coaching, I saw the truth – how my mental conditioning convinced me that my body was the enemy and prone to dysfunction. That I needed to ignore its signals and messages for glorified ideas in my head. I saw the

Now I have become a yoga educator.

I am very aware that by offering the Phoenix Rising approach to the student’s experience of yoga, I’m offering them opportunities to be attuned to themselves, tapping into their body’s wisdom, and eventually becoming more authentically empowered in their lives. Yoga with awareness is embodied presence – a way of being with the body where we can consciously receive much more from yoga than a good stretch. I want to help those I serve to focus at that level of awareness so that it provides the opening

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for a potential life changing experience like mine. Now, in my yoga classes, students experience what, in Phoenix Rising Yoga, is known as Dual Process – movement and awareness coaching for self-inquiry – so they too can learn to listen to their bodies, gaining greater opportunities to enhance their lives away from the mat when they leave my class.

Sarah Kaczor Greco is a member of the Phoenix Rising Faculty and will be leading Therapeutic Yoga Teacher Trainings in Webster and New Hartford in 2019 and 2020. For more information, email Sarah@pryt.com

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Live, love, play at The Circle Play Cafe!

Join our Circle at The Circle Play Cafe!

A space for community, play and fun for caregivers and children ages 0-6!

Our 2,800 sq. foot indoor play area provides a safe and fun play space for kids six and under. In addition to our main play space, we have two separate play areas; one for children over three and one for infants, 0-18 months.

We offer a relaxing and judgement-free zone where parents and other caregivers can build relationships and share experiences, all while being able to see their children play from any vantage point!

Hours of Operation: Monday: 9:00 am - 2:00 pm Tuesday: 9:00 am - 2:00 pm & 4:30 - 7:30 pm Wednesday: 9:00 am - 2:00 pm Thursday: 9:00 am - 2:00 pm & 4:30 - 7:30 pm Friday: 9:00 am - 2:00 pm Saturday: 9:00 am - 12:00 pm Sunday: No Open Play

1276 FAIRPORT ROAD, FAIRPORT, NY 14450 • 585.348.9207 • HELLO@THECIRCLEPLAYCAFE.COM

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{ FALL FASHION FORWARD }

SJ’S FALL FASHIONS PT 2

BY KELLY BREUER I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN FORD

IT’S NEW. IT’S YOU. IT’S SJ’S. SJ’S mission is to bring a dynamic yet timeless style for women and men. Their collection of clothing and accessories offer a sophisticated versatility, bringing confidence and splendor to their clientele.

Now, Rochester Woman Online is teaming up with the fabulous fashionista’s at SJ’s to bring you incredible fashions each season!

This is our Fall Fashion Series Part II featuring incredible styles and combinations we know you will love.

SJ’S has many styles and designs ranging from women’s and men’s clothing, to exquisite jewelry and accessories.

Located in the heart of the Village, SJ’S is known for providing timeless and exclusive style for a variety of ages.

Their friendly team makes the effort to get to know the customers and find pieces for them to feel confident and powerful. They proudly carry over 30 US based vendors, including local artists from the Rochester area.

We invite you to come shop with us and take in the full SJ’s experience!

Live locally. Shop locally.

25 South Main St., Pittsford NY 14534 | Tel (585) 248-0640 | sjsvillageboutique@gmail.com Charlene Mann Photography and Rochester Woman Online teamed up to bring you this incredible feature, and we are excited to be able to offer this unique and fun type of marketing opportunity (which we can do for you too...). Photos, feature, models, live feeds...all provided for you! Feel free to contact us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com for more information.

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{ FASHION FORWARD } “Gabriela’s focus is on providing patients with the highest level of dental care available anywhere in the region. ”

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{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }

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{ FASHIONS FOR THE MEN }

INCOGNITO MENSWEAR PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY

P R E M I U M CLOTHING, WITHOUT PREMIUM PRICING!

For top-notch service, style and quality, Incognito suits you!

Rochester’s hippest men’s clothing store can be found in Penfield at Incognito Menswear & Tux Shop.

Whether you’re looking for a suit, coat, dress shirt, jeans, sweater or a new wardrobe, check out their huge selection of vintage, recycled

and new clothing.

If it’s a sport coat for the office, a tuxedo for a wedding or a suit for a funeral, you are sure to arrive appropriately dressed when you are an Incognito Man. If you don’t know what you want, at least you know where to go. Incognito is at the Four Corners of Penfield, NY. Choose from Hickey Freeman, Ralph Lauren, Banana Republic and more!

Visit their shop and experience our tremendous selection of suits, sport jackets and accessories

Rochester Woman Online and Charlene Mann Photography had the pleasure of working with the amazing team and models from Incognito Menswear to bring you an incredible Fall Fashion photoshoot .

We hope you enjoy these incredible photoshoot that we styled at Rochester Wedding Barn & Events Venue in Rush, NY. Go Incognito for all your menswear needs and make sure your man is dressed to perfection!

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{ SPECIAL FEATURE }

THE POND’S EDGE PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY

Besides the fact that this venue is literally one of a kind, Pond’s Edge offers an astounding capability to support a multitude of types of photoshoots, ranging from wedding photos to senior portraits.

ONE-OF-A-KIND Pond’s Edge Venue was built by hand, with a vision like no other. If you want an outside venue, do NOT overlook this one.

COMPETITIVE PRICING

This venue has very competitive pricing for your photography, making it that much more appealing!

FAMILY OWNED

Pond’s Edge Venue has the unique ability to host a multitude of events.

Just take a look! With the size of this venue and sheer number of backdrops, it’s perfect for any event!

Created and owned by a family man, this venue understands the importance in the little things.

CONTACT THEM TODAY Phone: 585 869 5383 Email: pondsedgevenue@gmail.com

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6165 Brownsville Road Farmington, NY, United States

If you have questions, special requests, or multiple needs, contact us and I’m sure we can work something out!

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{ WOMAN ENTREPRENEUR }

RITA PETTINARO

BY CHERYL L. KATES I PHOTOS BY MICHAEL CRISAFULLI

Rita Pettinaro is a phenomenal businesswoman, who has lived the example of having a forever evolving career. She earned her stripes as the Vice President of Sales (but also has a background in marketing) where she worked for 25 years. She always dabbled in real estate, beginning around the time she was 30. She began flipping houses. She then purchased some rental properties. She continued buying homes, remodeling them and then reselling them. This provided her with the foundation of her current career as a real estate agent. Looking back, she realizes real estate was where her passion lies, and she wished she went into real estate in the beginning, when she was fresh out of college. Her former position required her to do international and domestic travel, so 258

she saw the world. She finds because she engaged in the market as a house flipper, she learned a more in-depth view of the market and this contributes to her success today.

sampling wines in her travels. In Europe, when everyone else went to visit the touristy places, Rita was on a quest of her own to find the next great bottle of wine.

Our phenomenal woman, Rita, is involved in a wine business called “Wine Sense and Women’. As a child, Rita helped her father make home-made wine. She learned the process. She felt her father was so talented.

The family had their own cantina. It was nothing fancy, just functional. Rita often wonders, did she really enjoy the process?

Or was it the ability to spend extra time with her father? These experiences are what started her love and appreciation of the land, the grapes, the barrels, the fermentation process and the bottling. She enjoyed

If that’s not enough, Rita is a food connoisseur. She loves to cook. Naturally, she began learning and experiencing wine pairing. Her background and love for the art, led her to “Women For Wine Sense”.

This organization meets once a month, providing education to the participants about wine pairing. The dinners feature wines from all over the world and the local chefs pair the wines with the best foods.

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Rita shares saying, “Amazing things happen!

The friendships- well the best group of

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{ WOMAN ENTREPRENEUR } “I am not a person that sits down and prepares a business plan and figures out every angle. I don’t dot all my I’s and T’s before I start something. If I waited for that, I would never make a move.”

Rita is also a supporter of local charities.

She experienced a tragic occurrence in her family where her family member was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Rita never heard of this type of cancer prior to this. What’s most devastating is this type of cancer is rarely discovered until the patient is in stage 3 or 4.

Her sister-in-law, started the local chapter of an organization about this cancer here. Rita supports fundraising events and educating people on this health issue.

his intelligence is off the charts. His kindness cannot be measured. He tells the truth. He tells it like it is.

He is humble and states the facts, no emotions about it. He is annoying and loving, all at the same time. He taught me how to do the right thing and keep it simple. He uses science and math to

She says, “What an amazing kid he is. Perfect in every way. He taught me more than I taught him. He has problems with social skills and reading people’s faces and emotions. However, 260

Rita describes saying, “A woman would come to her and say how she wanted an outfit and she would design and make it. Simple as that. Nothing fancy. She didn’t advertise or have social media.

She didn’t take pictures of her dresses or suits.

She had a gift that went beyond a small sewing room, but she didn’t have the means to go big. She didn’t care. She had confidence that I never saw in anyone else. She had style and sophistication, grace and elegance. She hates it if I bought an item of clothing and it wasn’t well-made or was made of cheap fabric.

Rita has lived a phenomenal life. She first immigrated to the US from Argentina. She struggled as a young woman being bullied at school. She didn’t speak English, so she suffered from having a language barrier. Her life was full of challenges. She also went through getting divorced and having to rebuild her life.

Rita is also a mother.

Her experience with mothering was challenging, as her son was diagnosed with Asperger’s.

a side business designing clothes for women. She was amazing.

She was a feminist, although she didn’t carry the label.

answer any of your questions”.

Rita indicates her mom is the most significant person in her life. Through watching her , immigrating to the US, not speaking English and obtaining a job at Hickey Freeman, Rita learned how to survive. Her mother also had

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She fought for women’s rights, one woman at a time. She quietly was head of household. She had respect when she walked into a room. She earned this because of how she carried herself and her soft words of confidence. If there was a restriction on something for women, she would question it. No emotions, no tears, no anger. She would say, “ Now that’s silly and we will not be

“One more thing, if you are a woman- support all women, even if you don’t believe what a certain woman is fighting for. Support her.

Don’t put other women down. Don’t trash other women. Support, support, support!”

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will not be abiding by those rules’.

She used to push me to go to college, when most moms were telling their daughters to find a man to support them. She would say, “Don’t get married until you can support yourself and two more people”. This was just her number and her saying. My dad died when I was 18, and left my mom with very little money , no life insurance and two kids going into college. How did she do it? It was all sacrifice and love for her kids.

She is all power and wisdom and perseverance and strength.

She is now 95. She still wants to look good and sharp. She is still teaching women to make a mark and a difference in this world. She teaches me the healthy balance of living. I get my domestic skills and professional skills for her, my mom”.

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Rita sets goals and she achieves them.

She said, we at RWO will find her in the top 5% of real estate agents in 5 years and opening a surprise business of her own.

She advises stating, “I am not a person that sits down and prepares a business plan and figures out every angle. I don’t dot all my I’s and T’s before I start something. If I waited for that, I would never make a move.

My advice for entrepreneurs, just do it. Move forward, learn and keep growing. Keep trying. The worst thing that can happen- you have to rebuild, big deal. As long as you are alive and healthy- keep going. Don’t forget along the way love everyone.

Be kind, show mercy and grace, have tolerance and peace in your heart.

And if people give you a gift-pay it forward. Do what you love the

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money will come.

One more thing, if you are a womansupport all women, even if you don’t believe what a certain woman is fighting for. Support her. Don’t put other women down. Don’t trash other women. Support, support, support!

If you want to trash a certain woman, go into their office, or go to their home, do it privately- but in public don’t bash your sister- ever”.

Rita started from nothing and has built her own empire. This article just touches on the amazing things she has accomplished. Hopefully, you will take away that you can be anything you want to be. Don’t wait.

Jump in, headfirst and get started!

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{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }

AMANDA’S ESTHETICS

BY AMANDA PAGAN I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY

Making people feel and look beautiful has been the drive behind my passion in the esthetics field ever since I attended Continental School of Beauty in 2001 and recieved my Esthetics license. After that, my first esthetics job was at Shear Ego and I ended up spending about ten years there.

This was the beginning of my career where I started to build a foundation of providing my clients with the best service and developed my passion for making them feel and look beautiful.

Between then and now I have had the pleasure to spend some quality time at a couple other salons and now I am excited to say that I am self-employed. I have been renting space at Rose Water Day Spa for almost 2 years now; time flies when you’re having fun! I have a lovely following of clients and I continue to look forward to continuing to grow!

Over the years I learned that one of the things I enjoy about being an esthetician is keeping up with not only the trends of the beauty industry but being open minded about new services so I can grow with my clients.

For example: beginning in 2016 and 2017 there was an increase in the demands for lash services and brow services as some trends focus more on those areas. At that point I was working in Operations Management

and Human Resources in a Medical Primary Care Office and I had a very important decision to make. To meet the needs of my dear clients I knew I had to leave the office and pursue esthetics full time. It was a big step, and in order to strengthen my base of clients I had to expand my services from the more traditional

waxing and skin care treatments to include a broader range of services and procedures.

In 2017 I took my first lash extension certification was through Lavish Lashes and I loved it! Following the basic classic lash training I went to Lash Boutique in Boston, MA where I became certified in volume

lashes. It was one certification after another, growing and learning along the way. The most recent certification I attended was Mega Volume training with Lash Box LA. This is not where my training ends, I love to learn and help develop new ways to make my clients feel and look beautiful always staying up to date with what is new.

Specifically, the demand for lash tinting with lash lifting that has been a popular service for clients that do not want the maintenance of lash extensions or for clients that are allergic to lash extensions.

The training has been moving along well for me, I feel so fortunate to be able to bring this knowledge and provide these services to my community and the people I care about. The next biggest trend I embarked on was the technique of giving clients natural looking brows when they did not have brows, or had patches missing, restoring those who did not have a complete brow shape.

And then yet another big step: in January 2018 I got certified in the art of Microblading with The Microblading Club! I didn’t end my microblading knowledge there since this is a very intricate procedure I decided to attend more classes to increase my skill. I attended a Master Microblading Course at Nouveau Contour to extend my knowledge for my clients; Microblading truly is an art form! Recently, I was honored to receive one-on-one training by

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“I fell in love with the esthetics field and it has been a very emotionally rewarding profession. I really do love what I do and do what I love.”

{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } “We talk... we laugh... I am a listening ear for them and I make them feel happy so when they leave they feel even better than they did coming in.”

an advanced microblading artist to learn ombre brows, hybrid brows, and shaded brows.

However, some of my wonderful clients don’t prefer microblading so I recently took a certification in brow lamination to offer an alternative.

E y e b r o w lamination is really interesting, it originated in Ru s s i a a n d i s slowly becoming more known in our area. It turned out that this is an ideal procedure for clients that want fuller thicker looking brows without having to be microbladed.

This is also a great alternative for clients that have health concerns that prevent them from getting microbladed.

Eyebrow sculpting is yet another service I have been working with for quite some time andI am happy to offer. Throughout all the eyebrow and eyelash training don’t forget that I still also specialize in brazilian

waxing and I see quite a lot of clients for those types of services!

rewarding profession. I really do love what I do and do what I love.

Making people feel good and happy in turn makes me happy.

I am never bored being an esthetician; every client’s needs are different and the connections I make with them are priceless.

We talk... we laugh...

I am a listening ear for them and I make them feel happy so when they leave they feel even better than they did coming in.

I also enjoy being an esthetician because the field is constantly evolving; there is always something new to be learned in the beauty industry and I will continue to educate myself to provide my clients with the best quality service which they absolutely deserve!

IG: Amanda_Esthetics W e b s i t e : Amandaesthetics.com F a c e b o o k : amandapaganesthetics

I fell in love with the esthetics field and it has been a very emotionally

{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }

STUDIO ON IVY

BY KATE SHADE I PHOTOS BY MICHAEL CRISAFULLI

Growing up you dream of what you want to do with your life and who you want to become… I knew I wanted to be a hairstylist when I was 13. In 2006, I attended Shear Ego School of Hair Design and worked at a few different salons building my skills and clientele until 2011 when I decided to go off on my own to rent at a salon in Fairport.

I was inspired by the antique claw foot tables.. the curvature of the lines in all my furniture and the elegance in the design and craftsmanship of that time period.

Mixing those elements with softer earthtone colors and a sprinkle of glam I truly created my dream salon. The Studio on Ivy is a beautiful, professional, and

Throughout those years I built an incredible clientele that has pushed me to want to advance my education and skills even more. In 2015, I became a Goldwell Color Specialist and have done continuing education through them, on my own and with Matrix.

As my career progressed and my kids got older I knew I needed a change and that’s when in 2018 the idea for The Studio on Ivy came to mind.

What better way to be home for my kids and to truly build my business the way I want it then to build a studio right next door?

With lots of planning, paperwork, sacrifice .. not only with time but with friendships.. the studio finally started coming together. My contractors were Amazing and it was incredible to see how quickly things progressed and my vision come together.

Construction started June, 2019 and was completed mid August 2019 with the Grand Opening August 20, 2019.

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very warm and inviting escape for my clients as well as myself. I love working in an environment that brings me joy and peace and I love having my clients feel that too.

Every detail from the crystal chandelier

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and candelabras.. to the over sized mirrors.. to the beautifully done pictures by photographer Julia Rabkin truly capture my vision and what I saw for this salon. This past year has truly been life changing, aside from owning my own salon I’ve been so incredibly fortunate to have been able to work with and network with some of Rochester’s most talented people.. makeup artists like Jess Kohlmeier and Nicole Parimeter.. models from both Rochester and Buffalo and photographer Julia Rabkin who has truly helped me grow as a stylist by stepping out of my comfort zone.

This past year has led to multiple magazine publications, working with models who have gotten signed with major modeling companies and with incredibly talented fashion designers. For how amazing this past year has been I can’t wait to see what’s to come! I have such a love and passion for hair.. the people you get to meet along the way and the life I’m getting to live. I’m always looking to meet new people and expand my clientele.. being able to help someone achieve a new look with something as simple as a cut or color is a great feeling.

For all my work.. pricing and to get in contact please check out my website at www.katieshanedesigns.com.

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{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } “This past year has truly been life changing, aside from owning my own salon I’ve been so incredibly fortunate to have been able to work with and network with some of Rochester’s most talented people.”

Italian Restaurant · Live M

137 W Commercia East Rochester, New Y (585) 385-8 www.lemoncell

Music Venue · Cocktail Bar

al St (9.28 mi) York 14445-2151 8565 lo137.com

{ THE GENRICH GREEN THUMB }

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{ THE GENRICH GREEN THUMB }

“FALLING” IN LOVE WITH YOUR GARDEN…

BY DEB GENRICH I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY

Autumn and the Fall season is a stunning time of year; the brilliant foliage colors in all their glory, cooler temperatures that beg for cozy sweaters, the anticipation of Thanksgiving and the opportunity to express gratitude to others. It’s also the season for buttoning up the garden to guarantee next year’s spring awakening…

egg can quickly become a population explosion).

Bonide’s “Eight” is my favorite go to product.

3.

Remove annuals from your garden beds once temperatures have dipped into the 40’s, most will not

The following ten tips summarize some great habits to practice in Fall to increase the success of a lush garden and landscape in Spring !

5. Always a popular question: cutting back perennial ornamental grasses – you can do this late fall or early spring. Lots of time the grasses are stunning in a winter landscape for architectural interest, but sometimes they can get beaten down from wind, heavy rains or wet snows – again use your judgment.

1.

Apply Fall Fertilizer to the lawn – it builds strong deep roots for a better lawn next spring; specifically formulated to deliver nutrients needed to repair damage from the heat, drought and stress of summer. We love Scotts brand fertilizers in our garden center.

2.

Br i n g i n a n y houseplants you might have had out on your deck; most tropicals/indoor plants can’t handle less than 50 degree night time temps. It’s always a good idea to spray with an all purpose insecticide before bringing in – so many bugs live outside without damaging plants that can have a detrimental effect when the plants come back into a closed environment without air movement, humidity swings, etc. (one

was there. Remove old foliage to control diseases and improve the appearance of your beds. There are some exceptions (clematis, late fall bloomers like Montauk daisies), sedums/hens and chicks that are very short – you have to use judgment.

Fall is the ideal time to split and divide perennials, as they become dormant.

6. Dig up non hardy bulbs: canna lilies, elephant ears, dahlias, gladiolas. They can’t stay in the ground with our harsh winters; cut back foliage, shake off soil, store somewhere dry and cool to rest before re planting next spring (again after chance of frost). survive without showing cold damage (spent flower heads, blackened leaves), and start to get moldy. Once a hard frost hits (usually around October 20th), almost all annuals will be spent.

4.

Cut back perennial gardens, we usually recommend 4-6” above the ground so you can see that something

7. Apply anti desiccant spray to evergreens – we recommend Wilt Stop, holds moisture into evergreens, rhodies, and protects against frigid cold and winds. Think back to February 2014, sub zero temps the whole month – had we been able to predict that forecast we would have recommended this to every one of our customers !

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8.

Once leaves begin falling, raking is important so the lawn underneath doesn’t get suffocated. A matted layer of leaves actually smothers and will eventually kill grass plants. I personally am not a big advocate of mulching and composting with leaves because oftentimes they are harboring disease and fungus. One prime example that was prevalent again this season is the black tar spot on the maple leaves. It is a disease and you’re potentially continuing to spread disease by composting with it. Best scenario is to rake, bag and dispose !

9.

Another fall landscape task revolves around cutting back shrubs and pruning trees – no hard and fast 284

rules of thumb on this EXCEPT that in general you never want to cut back more than 1/3 the total height of a plant. For example: if your rose of Sharon is 6’ tall, you would not trim back more than 2’ at one time. The second thing to keep in mind is that the appropriate time to prune almost every flowering shrub is immediately after it is done flowering. If you look at your rhododendrons right now, they’ve got buds set already for next spring. If you cut back now, you are cutting off next year’s flowers. That being said, if you’ve got something that’s growing out of control and or hanging over your sidewalk where it’s a nuisance or hazard, go for it and then keep in mind to try to keep it in check

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in the future. Just understanding that you may be sacrificing some of next years’ blooms.

10.

Probably the trickiest plant to prune that everyone likes to talk about is the hydrangea ! There are so many different varieties (approx 49 species !) that all have their own idiosyncrasies, our best advice is just don’t cut them back ! Or stop in to our garden center and we can provide additional specific advice.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson so wisely said, “Each moment of the year has its own beauty”.

{ THE GENRICH GREEN THUMB }

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{ DR P’S POSITIVITY }

ARE YOU LIVING LIFE BY DEFAULT OR DESIGN??

BY DR. SRADDHA PRATIVADI

How to tell if you are allowing fear to keep you from your true potential.

Are you living your life by default or design? Very few people achieve their potential or even go after the dreams they REALLY want to achieve. This always bothered me, and I wondered what the world would be like if we all brought our unique genius to the surface. Allowing for this full expression from each person would surely lead to a better world.

hope that this sheds a light on an aspect of your life that requires a breakthrough.

Let’s understand the definitions of default versus design and then explore some key distinctions between the two! Read and re-read this carefully! If you still need guidance, I’d be happy to personally review this with you and confidentially review your specific concerns. But let’s get into it here.

In fact, even in my medical practice, when I started asking this critical question – “What do you want, what do you really, really want?” – the women I cared for often got honest with themselves for the first times in their lives. I was able to facilitate and witness transformations that otherwise, I believe, would not have been possible.

But why is this question so powerful? “What do you really, really want?”

Because it allows us to enter into a new way of living our lives. A life lived by design and not default. I loved this idea so much, I decided to offer this to you as the key idea for this month. Living a life by design takes courage, and fear kills this potential, leaving most people to tolerate a life by default.

Let’s learn more about this, and I deeply 288

Default has many meanings but for here, I think the computer definition is most interesting. It is a selection that is automatically made and used by a program in the absence of a choice made by the user. How does this look in life?

It means you are just allowing your past conditioning and those around you to just push you along in life. You are not making any doing things by design.

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Creating a life by design helps to keep it away from chaos and give order to it through a plan that comes out of your vision for yourself. This requires you to come up with ideas and organize them into a dream or fantasy in your mind.

Daydreaming is not such a bad thing after all!

DEFINITE DESIRES Living by default comes about by being decision-less.

Decisions allow us to focus on the actions that will help us most meaningfully create the life we really want. What do you make a decision about? What you really want. Decide what your burning desire is. And the go for it!

A life by design is characterized by a burning desire to be, do or have something – Connect to who you really are and decide what you want. This requires you to make decisions. Decisions allow you to direct the course of your life. They won’t allow you to control everything that happens to you, but it will keep you from wasting large segments of time on things that do not serve you.

DEFINITE PLANS A life by default is directionless. If you are directionless, you will find yourself years down the road looking back and wondering where the time has gone and why you are still stuck. Don’t allow yourself to stay stuck. Please at least chat with a coach like me. It will

{ DR P’S POSITIVITY } “Riches don’t respond to wishes. They only respond to definite plans, backed by definite desires, through constant persistence.” -Napolean Hill, Think and Grow Rich

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{ {DR P’S POSITIVITY ELITEMIND PRO }} “A life by default is directionless. If you are directionless, you will find yourself years down the road looking back and wondering where the time has gone and why you are still stuck.”

make all the difference.

Design involves definite plans– create 6 action steps that you will do daily. They can be imperfect, but as you take action, you will be led on a self-correcting path to your goal.

Everyday, I lead a 6AM club and we read the persistence chapter of Think and Grow Rich.

You can get access to this at bit. ly/6AMClub. I see key transformations to people who plug into this free resource daily. In this key reading, having definite plans is key to the attainment of whatever goal you choose.

DISCIPLINE Those who live by default ove r w h e l m i n g lack one key quality, persistence which is achieved through disciplined application of the 4 steps of persistence.

A life of design involves disciplined acts of courage, – give yourself a command and follow it.

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Someone who is living by default focuses only on the difficulties whereas those who live by design have their minds laser-focused on the destination.

“Riches don’t respond to wishes.

They only respond to definite plans, backed by definite desires, through constant persistence.” -Napolean Hill, Think and Grow Rich And the key here is to understand a pivotal point. Those who live life by

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default have allowed fear to occupy their minds and do not courageously move forward toward their dreams.

Ask yourself – do you allow fear or courage to define your actions?

This one simple piece of awareness can help you breakthrough in your business and life.

Dr. Sr a d d h a Prativadi is a multifaceted Business and Personal Development Consultant, combining her background in medicine, modern success philosophy, h y p n o t h e r a p y, energy medicine, transformational coaching and Integrative leadership to help you get the results you really want in your life and business. Trained by and continuing to serve with the elite masters of the personal development world, working with Dr. P produces massive results. Get your free book and free coaching call with her today at DoctorP3.com

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{ HER EDGE }

MY FRIEND KIM

BY ROBIN DEWIND

I used to love Thursday nights. I’d pour myself a full glass of Cabernet and watch Scandal at nine o’clock.

Watching Kerry Washington drink her red wine in that tall, full sized bowl, with the slight taper at the top was the end zone to my tough day. Just watching her sip and ponder her case in her cashmere sweater made me run for the corkscrew. I did not have a luxury apartment, fabulous lounge wear or even a President in pursuit of me, but I did have my glass of wine.

I could be “Liv” if only for an hour, I could feel fabulous.

outing in the fall with my girlfriends.

I learned to love Riesling; crisp, sweet and readily available in our region. After laughing and stumbling through six lake wineries, twenty-four tastings, and half a box of crackers, I was fully dating. I bought grape coasters, a wooden rack for my apartment and a sign that said “Of course size matters, no one wants a small glass of wine”.

There are few relationships in life more complicated than a woman has with her wine habit.

I never had a real appreciation for wine.

I was a beer and vodka gal in my twenties, but early on when a boyfriend made a bold move by bringing me bottle of Beringer rose for my birthday, it was like a first kiss. I felt alive. As the bottle slowly emptied, like sand through an hour glass, I grew a lot nicer and felt a whole lot prettier.

Well you know the rest of that story.

As I grew up, so did my taste in wine, and in men.

Wine and bottles of it became an annual 292

Wine was moving in.

Drinking wine became a ‘thing’. When I’d go out with friends, we would order a bottle, sometimes two. “Staying in” was code for I’m feeling fat, wearing sweats, watching a movie and drinking wine. Over wine is where we women tell our deep dark dirty secrets. It’s a truth serum, and a relaxant that’s better

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than any pill.

When I met my significant other, he ordered a bottle of wine on one of our first dates that cost more than the top I had on. I wasn’t convinced that price mattered, but it does. Over the last decade, we have shared our favorite times over a glass. We celebrate, mourn, laugh, love and learn about good wine together. I was finally home.

But my love affair with wine changed when I moved back to the suburbs. In neighborhoods where the lawns are perfectly cut wine had earned a reputation; “mommy juice”. Bunko, book club and Pampered Chef parties were all a ruse, an excuse for women to get together to drink wine. Women were drinking wine out of boxes, cans, and coffee mugs as a way to self-medicate though their hectic thankless days filled with kids, driving and aggravation. Pressure to perform at work and at home suddenly killed the romance of wine. Women needed wine just to get through it all.

I had fallen into all of the whining myself.

I bought a 52 bottle capacity stainless steel wine refrigerator as the centerpiece of my new kitchen. Drinking wine

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{ HER EDGE } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “I’m happy to say my torrid affair with wine is now over. I’m currently happily in love with a reasonably priced Sauvignon Blanch called Kim Crawford.”

became an activity. I’d invite girlfriends over to see my new house, and have wine. Groceries, gas, Target and wine are always in the budget.

Talking about wine was like walking into a confessional. My mom friends would tell me in the bleachers and on the sidelines about their guilt over needing a glass or two every night. We would discuss our strategies to cut calories and cut down on our wine consumption.

Wine became the culprit for our tight jeans and our lack of ambition to work out and our inability to restrain when it came to eating Oreos and ice cream at night. We were a not-so-secret-society of wine lovers who had grown from

drinking wine on weekends to indulging anytime between Wednesday and Sunday.

It was all wines fault.

Wine gave me a horrible headache, made me toss and turn in my sleep and I gave little thought to pouring a glass without any reason. Wine was everywhere. Netflix and a bottle on a Friday night became the great escape, and a better option than going out.

There is nothing worse than getting up the next morning and seeing an empty bag of Boom Chicka Pop popcorn in the garbage and Amazon telling me my order is “on the way” for some spur of the moment cosmetic purchase I had already forgotten about .

Admit it ladies, we have all been there.

I’m happy to say my torrid affair with wine is now over. I’m currently happily in love with a reasonably priced Sauvignon Blanch called Kim Crawford.

I share and savor Kim with good friends, loved ones, or sometimes we sit at home and celebrate alone after a successful day.

As with any good relationship, this is one I want, rather than need. There are boundaries, respect, and compromise.

We are slow and steady, and I never take my friend Kim for granted.

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CONTACT ROBIN DE WIND TODAY! I ROBINDEWIND@GMAIL.COM

{ MEET THE DOCTOR }

SARA ZIMMER, MD PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY

Meet Dr. Sara Zimmer who’s a graduate of the nation’s military medical school and did her internship in Internal Medicine and then served as a military doctor for the US Marine Corps for 3 years. Dr. Zimmer completed a 4 year residency in pathology and served 4 years at a US Naval hospital as a staff pathologist. After leaving the Navy, she worked at a community hospital in North Carolina as a Staff Pathologist.

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While serving in the military she met her husband of 21 years. Dr. Gregory Zimmer is an emergency doctor at URMC. Their household is complete with 3 children ages 7-16, a rescue hound dog and 2 rescue cats. Practicing yoga, long trail walks/hikes, kayaking, paddle boarding, and reading books are her passions when she is not chauffeuring 3 children to their various activities. A job she wouldn’t trade for the world!

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Dr. Zimmer will be providing BOTOX/Xeomin at affordable prices to 1nc1ude all who are interested in treating fine lines and wrinkles. She is excited to redirect her career to aesthetic medicine.

Her favorite quote is “Start each day with a grateful heart”. We are truly grateful for her!

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{ INTRODUCING }

SAMAHER ALBA PHOTO BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY

Permanent Makeup/Microblading, Lash/Laser Provider Samantha has over 15 years’ experience in Cosmetology. She is a Permanent Makeup/Microblading Artist with training by World Microblading and Advanced Training Certified with PMU by Anna. She is also certified in lasers & eyelash extensions.

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Her expertise is in Microblading, Lash Extensions and VelaShape lll (body contouring). Clients love her kind compassionate heart and amazing spirit. We think she is pretty special too!

Favorite Procedure- Microblading

Helping people brings her joy and taking care of her three girls’ ages, thirteen, ten and seven, her dog, Gucci and bird, Sunny. Sam loves to cook and entertain.

Favorite Pet- Dog

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Favorite Product- Glenna’s CBD Best Oil, Best Triple Healing Salve Favorite food- Lebanese food

Favorite saying- “ To be, or not to be”

MICROBLADING

SPECIAL PROMO

$349

INCLUSION WELLNESS SPA I 811 RIDGE RD, WEBSTER NY 14580 I ASK FOR SAM I 585.347.6100

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{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }

THE LITTLE HERBARY

BY SARAH WRIGHT

THE LITTLE HERBARY: FROM ROOT TO BUD Elixir: A magical or medical potion.

Provision: The act of supplying or providing something for use, or an amount or thing supplied or provided.

Introducing The Little Herbary, your local cannabis and hemp product shop and juice bar. Located on the corner of South Ave and May St. in the flourishing Mount Hope/Highland Park neighborhood, The Little Herbary fits comfortably with the area’s blend of residential, commercial, and park land.

If I asked you to name a plant that will grow just about anywhere, is highly moisture-absorbent, can carry an electric charge, and helps to eliminate soil toxins, what would be your choice? If it’s hemp, you’re correct. Hemp fibers can be used to make clothing, paper, plastics, and tough but light building materials.

Hemp seeds are nutritionally dense, hemp milk is glutenfree and easy to digest, and hemp flour is full of fiber, vitamins, and minerals.

A strain of the Cannabis Sativa plant species, hemp is growing in popularity as a multipurpose material.

Different strains are grown for different purposes; some for their seeds, some for their fibers, some for their effects on the body and mind. Cannabis in general has been used for thousands of years for a myriad of purposes, and today is making great inroads on the wellness scene, particularly as CBD, or cannabidiol.

On the day of my visit, the sun isn’t quite beating down, but it’s getting close. The Lilac Festival is in full swing; only the pollen particles seem to outnumber the pedestrians. The shop is indeed little, but gives the feeling of being much larger, and is blessedly cool inside. The area is lit with a soft wash of pale golden light

from overhead and from the large windows, in which glass terrariums hang. Plump succulents nestle in stone bowls and philodendron lets down its tangled hair. That’s how everything feels in The Little Apothecary- relaxed, bright, airy.

There are lots of products to choose from, including lip balm, topical salves, drinks (both bottled and made in-house), candies, coffee, mushroom supplements, nut butter, oils, and pet products.

The elixirs and shakes all have attractive names, and a CBD oil shot can be added to any of them. Feeling dimmed? Have a Fire It Up, with ingredients including coffee, hemp protein, and almond butter. Feeling yourself? Visit the Edge of Desire, featuring dark cocoa, cherries, and chili pepper. I decide on a Guiding Light, a pale yellow drink with crushed ice and two sprigs of lavender crossed neatly on top. Simply put, it’s the definition of refreshing. I consider asking how much for a bucketful to go.

With the guidance of manager Tony, I tried two topical salves, one with lemongrass and eucalyptus on my wrist, another called Fire and Ice on my forehead and temples. The latter smells of nutmeg, with a hint of campfire. Ayani Botanicals, one of The Little Apothecary’s vendors,

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{ HEALTHY WOMAN }

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“Introducing The Little Herbary, your local cannabis and hemp product shop and juice bar. Lo neighborhood, The Little Herbary fits comfortably with the

is in for a visit, and I chat a while about cannabis research with Ayani representative Pat. Recreational marijuana is still illegal in New York, but cannabis products as medicine already have a strong foothold.

Thus far, there are over 100 recognized cannabinoids, chemical compounds that connect to receptors in the brain.

These influence how the brain handles neurotransmitters. Cannabinoids can be mixed in countless ways, with differing ratios, to produce differing effects. The most famous cannabinoid is tetrahydrocannabinol, or THC, which produces the “high” many associate with cannabis in general.

However, each cannabinoid has its own properties, and few produce any psychoactive effects. CBD is extracted, usually from industrial hemp, with two methods: ethanol extraction and CO2 extraction. Cannabinoids are not only present in cannabis varietals like hemp, but in liverwort and plants in the sunflower family, like the purple coneflower.

The Little Herbary carries fresh flower from strains bred to contain no or only trace amounts of THC. This is one reason why cannabis is the correct term, rather than marijuana. It does not make you feel high or slow you down.

Hopefully, it just makes you feel better.

Cannabis products can be eaten, drunk, applied, inhaled, even injected. Medical uses for cannabis, particularly CBD, include: • Pain relief. Arthritis and 310

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{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }

ocated on the corner of South Ave and May St. in the flourishing Mount Hope/Highland Park area’s blend of residential, commercial, and park land. ”

headaches are commonly mentioned maladies that may be helped with cannabis products.

• Cannabis has anti-inflammatory properties. Remember those neurotransmitters? Components of cannabidiol can inhibit the release of inflammatory substances called cytokines.

• Anti-anxiety. Even without the psychoactive element, some users report a calmer mental state after using cannabinoids.

• One of the more well-known medical breakthroughs with cannabinoids is their pronounced antispasmodic effect, allowing greater freedom for those suffering from seizures.

Of course, it is always recommended that you talk with your doctor before using any cannabis derivatives. Cannabis isn’t right for everyone, and if you think it might be useful for you, you want to use the right kind from a legitimate source. There have been reported allergic reactions, so treat these substances with the same caution you would use with any product.

The Little Herbary aims to bring good research, good products, and good vibes to Rochester. If you’re in the market for cannabis-infused foods and supplements, this is the place for you. The Little Herbary provides a haven for Rochestarians who want to learn about the properties of cannabis for health, and how it can make a difference in their bodies and minds. It is a cheerful place, and shows that cannabis can be helpful, friendly, even tasty.

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A LITTLE EXTRA SUPPORT

BY AMBER PESHKIN

FOR ANTI-AGING AND AGE-RELATED SYMPTOM RELIEF.

Even those of us who practice the healthiest diets and lifestyles could use a little support as we age.

A healthy diet and active lifestyle are really the only foundations for setting ourselves up to be able to squeeze every ounce of enjoyment out of our twilight years. There are glaring differences between the quality of life of those who practice a healthy lifestyle and those who smoke, are sedentary, consume too much alcohol or eat unbalanced, nonnutritious foods. An unhealthy lifestyle can lead to diabetes, weight gain, heart disease, cancer, and depression. Inversely, a healthy diet and active lifestyle can quell all of these health concerns.

But what about those of us who are already eating whole foods, drinking plenty of water, exercising regularly and getting adequate sleep? What can we do to supplement a healthy lifestyle when symptoms seem to be getting the best of us? Are there plants and herbs that we can take to help our bodies and minds cope with getting older?

We will quickly discuss a few of my favorite herbs that help soothe, support and strengthen some of our most vital bodily systems and may even relieve some symptoms.

Struggling with cognitive tasks? Are you experiencing short term memory problems?

Can’t ever remember where you left your keys? There are several herbs that help boost cognition and memory. My favorites are Lion’s Mane mushrooms and Rosemary.

Lion’s Mane mushrooms stimulate Nerve Growth Factors (NGF) in the brain and stimulate new neural pathways and even neuronal cell growth. Lion’s Mane mushroom gives our brain more pathways to deep thinking and problem-solving areas of our

brains and has even been shown to increase cognition, memory and attention span.

Rosemary has been shown to temporarily increase memory and improve cognitive function in adults. The kicker is, that you don’t even have to consume it. Simply smelling fresh rosemary or spraying rosemary essential oil into the air improves memory and recall. Rosemary can also be infused with water as a tea as a little brain booster.

Do you find it harder for your body to cope with environmental stressors? Does a busy or stressful day leave you feeling drained? There are several Adaptogenic Herbs that have been proven to help our bodies adapt to stress. These herbs lower our cortisol and osteocalcin levels. Osteocalcin is released from our skeletal systems when we encounter stressors or are in perceived danger and is the hormone responsible for turning on our “Fight or Flight” system.

Once engaged this system triggers the release of Cortisol which wreaks havoc on our bodies.. Prolonged high cortisol levels result in sustained elevations of blood sugar, substantial loss of calcium from bones, depression of important immune responses, high blood pressure, loss of muscle mass, increased fat accumulation, and even loss of cognitive function. If stress leaves your feeling tired and drained, we recommend a combination of Rhodiola Rosea and Ginseng. These herbs will lower cortisol levels in your blood and help balance and maintain healthy adrenals and hormone response and at the same time provide a stimulating effect on the body and mind, helping to relieve stress-related tiredness.

If stress is keeping you on edge, wired and you are having difficulty with anxiety or insomnia we recommend Ashwagandha as a form of support. Also an adaptogen, Ashwagandha lowers our hormonal fight or flight response but is non-stimulating and very soothing to our central and peripheral nervous systems, helping us to relax and soothing out worries.

As we age our bodies produce less NK cells, these are referred to as natural killer cells.

NK cells seek out pathogens like viruses, bacteria, and even cancer cells and eliminate them. Echinacea is rich in alkylamides which stimulate the production of NK cells and may help your body fight off sickness and disease by boosting the immune system.

Heart disease and vascular health are a concern of many Americans as they begin to age. Garlic, raw, or in a capsule form should be taken every day as a cardiovascular aide as it may help to prevent or even treat coronary artery disease, hypertension, hypercholesterolemia, and atherosclerosis.

Gotu Kola, which is my personal favorite herb, helps our body heal and is especially beneficial for strengthening our veins, arteries, and capillaries. Gotu Kola also increases circulation and decreases body swelling. The benefits of Gotu Kola are far-reaching and can help a myriad of age-related symptoms but I like to focus on Gotu Kola as a cardiovascular toner.

One of the major symptoms that everyone is guaranteed to experience as they age is aches and pains. Old sports injuries, achy backs, osteoarthritis, and inflamed joints seem to catch up to almost everyone at some point. There is an abundance of anti-inflammatory, analgesic, and osteosupportive herbs at our disposal. Our favorites here at the Herbary are Turmeric, Boswellia, Rhemennia, CBD, and Goldenrod.

Depending on whether the pain is caused by a mechanical issue, osteoarthritis or an immune system disorder there are herbs that can help reduce the swelling, block the pain, increase bone density and even aid in the healing process. If you want to get into the nitty-gritty of how these herbs can be used as an extra line of support when your body is hurting, swing through to the Little Herbary and our staff will happily answer all of your questions and help you get onto an individual herbal protocol designed to target symptom relief.

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{ PLATTER CHATTER }

TASTEFUL CONNECTIONS

BY SANDRA HALLOWAY

It was the summer of ’85 and there were two young women with a $1000 each and a dream. “We can do this better” they would exclaim after a long, hard day of labor in various restaurants, party venues and banquet facilities, selling events, executing events but never truly having control of the outcome of the event. With little money, a leased Ford Aerostar van and a 700 square foot space in the Oxford Square area they set about making their dream come true.

CATERING! Creating events for corporate and social occasions, servicing many guests at the same time in a style better than what they expected, preparing healthful, delicious savories, concocting favorite sweets at their in-house bakery, having fun and building relationships along the way….Catering Connection!…Life was GOOD. Our first big break was a small event at the Strong Museum for a history class from SUNY Brockport.

Cheese and crackers, maybe a little fruit, fresh vegetables with dip and they were willing to pay $250. These were simple times when food was made, trayed and laid on a table… no tiers, elevation, rotating serving pieces, fancy disposableware, designer linen, no hummus (what was hummus?) and as long as it was delivered and set up on schedule, all was well. About a year and a half into the business, one of the partners left to explore other opportunities taking the original name with her. “Now what?” thought remaining partner Sandra.

Family to the rescue! Sister Eileen left her dream job at Kodak tower to join the business, bringing with her a great sense of 314

organization, secretarial skills and a love of food and entertaining. Mother Marilyn began commuting weekly from Derby, NY a southern suburb of Buffalo to lend her culinary and baking talents, boundless energy, cost-saving ideas and common sense to the operation. In 1986 Tasteful Connections Inc. was born, establishing itself as a women-owned, family-owned catering company serving up large portions of hospitality to the Greater Rochester area and beyond.

It’s the summer of 2019 and Tasteful Connections Inc. is beginning it’s 35th year in business. Where has the time gone?

We have moved the business three times to accommodate the growth and needs of the catering company. We have survived a lawsuit from the original partner (nobody received anything besides a big headache and lawyer’s bills), we were robbed at gunpoint in location #3, three accidents with company vehicles, an ice storm, many debilitating snowstorms, driving on sidewalks to avoid traffic and be on time for deliveries, wrestling a 20# top round of beef from the client’s family dog, and buying out a grocery store’s

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bakery department when our beautiful handmade desserts were demolished in an unfortunate collision. We’ve weathered the ups and downs of the economy, the revolving door of employees, the “feasts and famines” of meat and produce costs, the evolution of technology, the government- imposed compliances, ever changing policies, laws and rules. It doesn’t seem that long ago that we refused to use a fax machine because it would make us hurry up. It wasn’t that long ago that we referred to computers as the anti-Christ. It wasn’t that long ago that we bought our first cell phone that weighed 5 pounds and was bigger than a bread box. It wasn’t that long ago that a mouse was something that chased us up on the tabletop, or branding was something that happened to cattle, or marketing was something we did at the store while tossing items into our shopping cart.

Through all this time and all these changes, we remember the words of a very wise woman as we began in business. “Take care of your clients and take care of your staff and you won’t have to worry about anything.”

People! Persistence! Pride! That’s why we are still in business. As a unit, the people of Tasteful Connections today have an unbeatably strong work ethic, they are a team, they answer the phone during business hours and beyond, they do what they say they’ll do when they say they’ll do it, they are well informed, talented, knowledgeable , creative, kind and most importantly THEY CARE. With the onslaught of Pinterest,

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“As a unit, the people of Tasteful Connections today have an unbeatably strong work ethic, they are a team, they answer the phone during business hours and beyond, they do what they say they’ll do when they say they’ll do it, they are well informed, talented, knowledgeable , creative, kind and most importantly THEY CARE. ”

{ { PLATTER QUEEN OF CHATTER ARTS } } “We provide experience, resources and professionalism for the simplest and most complex events. We are a proud bunch. ”

Etsy, Food Network, food trucks, “foodies”, and the fact that every donut and bagel shop, pizzeria and sub shop, fast food/slow food restaurant, gas station and grocery store claim to “cater”, it has become ultra important for us to continue to educate the consumer about “catering” vs. “catering”.

Tasteful Connections is a REAL caterer!

We create events from start to finish. We customize menus, create themes, develop décor, provide trained professional staff, offer licensed, insured bar service and delicious, healthful food prepared in a health board approved commercial kitchen. We provide experience, resources and professionalism for the simplest and most complex events. We are a proud bunch. We are proud of what we do and how we do it. We are proud of our longevity. We are proud that through 318

the business, we can enhance the lives of others. Supporting the local community and beyond is a big part of who we are.

We remember the first time a non-profit agency asked us to do an event “in-kind” we had no idea what they meant. Well, it means for free! Maybe there would be a sponsorship or advertising benefit attached, or maybe it would provide some exposure for our business. We have been doing a lot of catering “in-kind” ever since. Some of our favorite benefactors are Ronald McDonald House, Asbury First UMC, Richard’s House, RAIHN, George Eastman Museum, Geva and the Strong. We are grateful for the patronage and support of the community and beyond. We treasure the relationships that we’ve formed and the friendships that we have made through the business. No

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one knows what tomorrow may bring. but we’ll have plenty of memories of food, fun, and friends to last us a lifetime!

To learn more about Tasteful Connections, Inc. please visit our website at tastefulconnections.com and/or call our office at 467-4400 Monday-Friday from 8 am-4 pm and speak with a real, live catering consultant. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram and be in touch to learn how a REAL caterer can make your life easier, hear about our party room that can accommodate 50 guests and find out what’s cookin’ in our kitchen!

Link up with Tasteful Connections for Professional Catering

Connect with dedicated consultants  Rely on the expertise and knowledge of experienced staff  Partner with dependable people that care  Relax and enjoy the efforts of a real caterer 

{ ZIPPIN AROUND }

HUDSON

BY SARA DELLEMANN

Hudson was diagnosed with Ewings Sarcoma in June 2018 at just 2 years old. His pelvis tumor was compressing nerves in his pelvis and spine and he lost control of bowel/bladder functions and developed right foot drop (foot paralysis)as well. He is slowly regaining limited function of his foot but still remains unable to feel or move his toes making it difficult to get his foot into a boot or shoe that doesnt open wide enough.

ever easy.

He was given a less than 30% chance of survival due to the size

But despite everything he went through today (just 6 months after t re a t m e n t ) y o u would hardly know.

He has many scars and he stumbles and trips more than normal kids but he is determined to just have fun and be a kid.

And now thanks to ZAF he can put on his barn boots and winter boots just like the rest of the kids too!

In most shoes I can slid my finger down far enough to straighten his toes but its impossible with a boot.

Before his childhood cancer diagnosis he LOVED his little rain boots, he LOVED mud and he LOVED helping in the barn. It was one of my most heart wretched moments when he wanted to wear them one day and I couldnt get his feet flat inside of them. He wore them for a bit but I was very worried he was going to injure his foot or toes.

An injury he really didnt need in the middle of his intense cancer treatments. Hudson’s childhood cancer journey wasnt 322

minor ones), intense condensed chemotherapy (most of which required him to be hospitalized for), multiple 3 hour ambulance rides from our home near Green Bay to his hospital in Madison, 31 days of radiation to his pelvis, multiple bouts of infections and pnemonia, and a grueling stem cell transplant in spring 2019 that included a week in the ICU.

of his pelvis tumor and because it has spread to his lungs. He under went 2 major surgeries (lots of

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Written by Sara Dellemann mother of Hudson Turk; Age 3; from Mishicot, Wi

{ ZIPPIN AROUND }

WOMEN AT THE HEART

BY JILL A GLIDDEN-VERWEIRE

My son Stephen was hit by a car while riding his bike when he was 14 years of age. Stephen suffered a traumatic brain injury as a result of that accident. This brain injury affects his right side.

He can no longer walk on his own and spends most of his time getting around in his wheel chair.

Stephen wears and ankle-foot orthosis (AFO) it is a thick plastic brace that he wears on his right

foot that goes from his toes to his knee.

It is difficult to squeeze his foot with the AFO into his shoes without crushing your fingers in between the shoe and AFO. It becomes frustrating for him and whoever is trying to put it on. After Jill created her first Zaf for her husband she knew we too could benefit and use Zafs, so she

offered to make Stephen a pair.

With Jill’s Zaf ’s it is so easy to get his shoe on. We just place his foot in the unzipped shoe, pull the top of the shoe over his foot, zip and done, easy peasy!

Lori Burnett, mother of Stephen Burnett Jr. 24 Brockport, NY

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1-800-886-ZAFSZIPAROUN 324

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NDFOOTWEAR@AOL.COM

{ INTRODUCING... }

MONICA BREAKINGBURY

BY CHERYL L. KATES

AND BEAUTY WAS HER NAME Have you heard the latest? Monica Breakingbury is the proud owner of Laser Skin Care of Rochester. You may recognize the name from RWO’s 3-part series highlighting some of the treatments offered at her medical spa. The services were amazing. Three months later, I cannot believe the incredible transition I encountered after going to see the ladies at Laser Skin Care. My skin is rejuvenated, healthy and I look at least ten years younger than the day I first walked through their door. RWO now brings you this tell all expose on the woman behind all of it, Monica Breakingbury.

Monica shares by saying, “I always expressed an interest in medical esthetics.

Growing up, I saw a lot of dermatologists due to personal struggles with acne.

It was horrible and embarrassing. The acne cleared up, but to my horror it reappeared while I was in my 20’s. I learned what to do and what not to do throughout the years when caring for my skin. My passion emerged from my struggles; skin care. My career began with me working for Monroe BOCES. I spent 9 years working with children who have autism.

After having my son, while staying home to be a mom, I enrolled in school studying esthetics. I also studied nail technology. I started working at American Laser Skincare where I certified in laser. I started off as a part-time technician, to master esthetician, and then to management. I worked and managed some of the top Laser Spas in Rochester. I worked alongside the medical 328

director for American Laser Skincare who also owned two med spas in NYC. I learned a wealth of knowledge from her when she came in to perform injectables”.

Monica felt after managing a few med spas it was time to have her own. At the time she was preparing to do so, her previous employer offered her the opportunity to take over Pittsford Laser Spa. The experience was not all glitz and glamour, from the remodeling, to taking on an existing business and encountering challenges such as rebranding. Monica experienced the stress of learning how to manage it all, life, a business and family illness. Her mother

became sick 2 months into the venture.

She was a breast cancer survivor, who was then diagnosed with melanoma. She battled on and off with this for years. Monica emphasizes wear your sunscreen! Monica lost her mom, her best friend. Monica recalls days when she tried to work and held back tears while treating clients. She is stronger now and has mastered dealing with loss, being a mom, getting her business up and running and getting over the few bumps in the road along the way.

Monica hopes to expand her business over the next five years adding additional services and staff to keep up with her growing clientele. She enjoys being a small business

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owner, so she has no plans of expanding to where she has multiple locations. She enjoys having the ability to interact with everyone who comes into her clinic. She never wants to expand to the point where she is unable to do that.

Monica says, “My clients mean the world to me, each and every one of them. I truly love talking to them and seeing them when they come in. Our clients are like family.

They really are. I also love seeing their results. Client results and client care are my top priority”.

Monica looks back and feels accomplished.

She did it! She found a career doing something that was personal to her and also something she loved. She mastered the juggling game and finally found some balance. She overcame the loss she experienced and took all her energy and focused on rebranding her new business.

Monica offers some advice for other women starting out on the journey of following your dreams saying, “There were times in my career I have to admit that I wanted to.

People were not always nice. The road was not easy at all, but I worked very, very hard to get where I am at. Soak up knowledge like a sponge. Never stop learning. Never give up and never stop believing in yourself or your dreams!”

If you want to learn more, stop in Laser Skin Care of Rochester October 24th from 4-7pm when they are having an open house with special pricing. I’m glad I did!

{ INTRODUCING... } “The road was not easy at all, but I worked very, very hard to get where I am at.

Soak up knowledge like a sponge. Never stop learning.”

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{ DISHING WITH THE DIVA’S }

THE TRIBELLA - TREATMENT #3

BY CHERYL L. KATES I PHOTOS BY MICHAEL CRISAFULLI & CHARLENE MANN

As I’ve reported, I was a skeptic when starting these three laser procedures three months ago.

I’ve looked at before and after pictures when researching the oh so many facial treatments available in medical esthetics. I accompanied Diva 2, on many a times doing Diva’s Reports at various spas.

Kelly is usually the guinea pig for these procedures. I usually pass. I was always afraid to try any facial procedures, because having someone screw up your face is obviously disastrous. You’ve

seen the pictures online of Botox gone wrong. Additionally, I think there is a myth regarding the cost of these procedures which with popularity growing, the prices are now becoming affordable. In the past, it was mostly rich white women who opted for these types of procedures. Who can afford thousands of dollars? Guess what even we can afford them now!

I experienced problems with rosacea where at times my cheeks become very red. It takes tons of concealer to mask it when

it happens. Additionally, bags under my eyes. This, I am really subconscious about as those bags add years on your appearance.

I also had two faint brown aging spots starting which no one seemed to notice but me. It was time to jump in headfirst and see what could be done about all of this.

As you have read in the last two months articles, I began treatment at Laser Skin Care of Rochester. The spa is located on Monroe Avenue, behind One Clothier so the location

{ DISHING WITH THE DIVA’S } “The staff at Laser Skin Care really take the time to explain everything and make sure that you understand the aftercare required after undergoing a procedure.

There was no uncertainty throughout the procedures. I always knew what to expect.”

{ DISHING { SHIFT+CONTROL WITH THE DIVA’S } } “If you have any type of skin problems, I definitely recommend you make an appointment with Monica at Laser Skin Care of Rochester. You will not be disappointed.”

of the spa is convenient for me.

The atmosphere is awesome. You feel right at home as everyone is so pleasant and welcoming. The staff at Laser Skin Care really take the time to explain everything and make sure that you understand the aftercare required after undergoing a procedure. There was no uncertainty throughout the procedures. I always knew what to expect.

The three-part treatments for skin 332

rejuvenation, TriBella and skin tightening I underwent were not painful. It was a relaxing experience and I definitely saw favorable results which were above and beyond what I expected. Each visit was about 90 minutes. The most one experienced unfavorably was the redness for about a day after the procedure.

As I said, the results of these treatments were absolutely amazing!

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If you have any type of skin problems, I definitely recommend you make an appointment with Monica at Laser Skin Care of Rochester. You will not be disappointed.

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

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2423 Monroe ave Rochester, New York 14618 (585) 417-5189 www.laserskincareofrochester.com

{ MIND, BODY, SPIRIT }

WOMEN LEADERS THRIVE! MAKE YOUR MARK

BY ALANA CAHOON

These fabulous gals have each made their mark as industry leaders. Some with bold branding, others with heartfelt motivation.

You’ll have the chance to listen to them live at the upcoming ‘Women Leaders Thrive in Monroe County’ workshop series on November 6th. Get a glimpse into their stories now, and be inspired.

CAITLYN AUGUSTINE, Co-founder, Eat Me Ice Cream Eat Me Ice Cream. Seriously? Is this the name of an ice cream?

And why am I writing about it. After all, this is a holistic column.

years of royalties.

Today you can find their product in 6 states, 70 grocery stores, and 10 restaurants.

Woohoo!

Asked why they chose “Eat Me” as their brand name, Caitlyn responded, “The main inspiration is from Alice in Wonderland.”

Adding, “It comes with directions … eat me.”

The branding of Eat Me Ice Cream is quirky, irreverent, and tongue in cheek. It

It’s what comes after the name. The flavors.

Like Lavender or Lilac or Spring Garden. And trust me, they’re really good. I know. I’ve tried them.

They shifted career paths making custom craft ice cream at the Public Market for a local bakery.

It was a cool trip to Nicaragua where they found themselves in a unique position creating Island Style Ice Cream for Tranquilo Cafe. This 4 month stint turned into 3 338

How cool is that. She’s speaking my language.

Former CEO of a multi-million dollar agency now a Bodhisattva. And the name of her former company … Brand Cool.

FYI. A Bodhisattva is someone who has taken the vow to devote her life to awakening through offering compassion to the world. She’s a good person to have as a friend!

Sue shared with me how Mindfulness and the Bodhisattva path of serving the world played a big role in her company’s success.

“Before a staff meeting I would offer a short guided meditation. Mindfulness became part of the company culture.”

These are Vegan, Dairy Free, Plant Based pints of ice cream that you can find at your local Pittsford Wegmans Superstore.

But it’s the co-founders, Caitlyn Augustine and Amber Odhner who really fit the bill.

Caitlyn began her career as a masseur/ massage therapist, while Amber began as a yoga teacher and artist.

Buddhist teacher exploring the intersections between wisdom, compassion, climate, social innovation and the workplace. Former B Corp Leader, Founder and CEO of an integrated marketing agency now a division of Butler Till.

makes a mark!

SUE KOCHAN, BODDHISATVA, Former Owner, Brand Cool When I looked up Sue’s Linked In profile.

Here’s what I found:

She adds that her Buddhist practice set her company in a new direction. Her work had to be close to her heart. They began to focus on the energy efficiency and renewable energy industries. This led to tremendous growth.

Buddhist teacher, Bodhisattva in training and retired CEO

As she pondered closing her business, an opportunity knocked on her door. During a casual lunch meeting with her colleague from Butler Till, she discovered who would be taking the reins.

When I talked with her, she described herself like this:

“It was simpatico with mutual trust and shared values.”

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Today Sue leads Dharma Refuge as the resident teacher and spiritual director.

NICOLE MAHONEY, CEO, Break the Ice Media I remember meeting Nicole as a budding entrepreneur at her first office in the Coal Tower at Schoen’s Place. Her father made the introduction, he himself being an entrepreneur.

Nicole’s broad vision to help businesses in PR & social media gradually narrowed to focus on tourism and marketing. It was this ‘niche’ marketing that grew her company from solo to a team of ten.

“It can be scary to shed customers once you’ve identified your niche. But making that commitment is the most important step to company growth.”

Nicole shared advice to other women when developing your branding/positioning.

“Be clear who you are and who you are not. Be brave enough to be that.”

Pivotal Successes: 342

• Airs a weekly podcast, ‘Destination on the Left’ now in it’s 150th episode • Celebrating the company’s 10 year Anniversary • Made the $1M revenue mark • Finalist for the Small Business Person of the Year Awards 2019 KATE BRODOCK, CEO, Women 2.0 “Take the leap!” Says Kate to any woman thinking about starting a company. “And follow it with planning and due diligence.”

Kate acquired Women 2.0, a San Francisco born company 3 years ago, and moved the headquarters to central New York. Their focus is on women in technology, specifically women founders who are growing a leading company.

“One of the biggest hurdles for women is getting access to certain funding. In tech funds, only 2% of venture capital goes to women! For women of color, it’s only .2% When you’re in startup world this has a big impact. So map out a plan how to resource your company.”

Women 2.0 has just started a VC fund.

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You can learn more, and educate yourself on other sources of funding, such as loans, crowd funding, and equity crowd funding at their rich content based website.

You can hear more from these leaders at the November 6th workshop, Women Leaders’ Thrive; Make your Mark. Learn how to make your mark in positions and industries typically dominated by men; and get advice for women on branding/ positioning yourself and your company.

This begins a 3 part series on November 6, November 20 & December 4 for women founders, owners, and aspiring leaders, offering you regional and national connections and behind the scenes insights from successful women business leaders to help you navigate your way.

Registration available on Eventbrite. Search ‘Women Leaders Thrive in Monroe County’.

Alana Cahoon is the founder & prosperity coach of Grow 2 B U, LLC; leading professionals to bring prosperity, joy & balance to their lives. www.AlanaCahoon.com

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{ HEALTHY WOMAN }

ID LIFE

BY TERESA ANN

Everyone has heard of DNA. It is the foundation for all living creatures, even plants.

Answers to these and much more are directly determined by your DNA.

DNA dictates inheritance, coding for proteins, and provides the genetic instruction for life and processes. It is necessary for us to develop, reproduce and survive.

At IDLIFE we help you get the answers. We know that health/ wellness is not a one size fits all solution.

What if the secrets of DNA w e re m a d e available to you?

We can help you reach your

Have trouble losing weight or keeping it off?

IDLife is not only a business; it is a way of life. We are a movement dedicated to positively impacting people’s lives p h y s i c a l l y, m e n t a l l y, s p i r i t u a l l y, emotionally, relationally and financially.

Digestive issues?

Just Take The Assessment.

Do you suffer from chronic pain or inflammation?

Are you sleep deprived?

Do you know which exercises your body responds best to?

Do you know the vitamins or proper supplementation you body needs to thrive or do you choose to consume a general multi and hope for the best?

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on this planet; each individually designed, unique in their lifestyle, environment, genetic makeup and personality. Our Assessment takes into consideration what makes you unique and creates personalized recommendations to get you the results you’ve always wanted. IDLife isn’t just about personalized vitamins, it’s about you and your lifestyle.

individually designed goals.

We can help you live your individually designed life. We can unlock the secrets.

What makes us Different? It’s You! There are almost 8 billion people

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER EDITION 2019

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{ HEALTHY WOMAN } “We can help you live your individually designed life. We can unlock the secrets.”

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{ KARMA SPEAKS }

SMILING AT THE SUN

BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD

“I wish I could get out into the sun today. At least I’ll be able to see it, sorta. But damn it would be nice to feel it. Well, one luxury at a time, right? Just seeing it does me good” I didn’t write that, these are not my words. They were sent to me by a friend. It was the last gorgeous day here in Rochester, record breaking high.

This was in response to a group text.

A group where some of us haven’t even met, except through this virtual world of words on my phone. A grown up game of show and tell where strangers meet and expose thoughts, all with one common factor; a friend.

I joked and made light and expressed “I’ll tell you the story of the Six months I didn’t even have a window next time we meet.

I’ll tell you, If you want to hear some stories of why I smile at the sun.” The response evoked my feelings, as he asked how it must have felt the first time I felt the suns rays kiss my face. So that morning, as I stood outside in the midst of the city’s horns honking, the sound of the train in the distance, and the sun reminding me that I have a gift, one I need to give away. One I keep hidden from most 348

until I am comfortable enough with myself, with them; and when they need this gift more than I.

transformation... if I accept that. I accept change; or I baske In self pity and wish the evils away ....

“Well, You my friend will have these times too. First ofs.. that’s the thing.

There can always be new firsts.

Feeling the sun for the first time as an active participant in the story I want to create. Not the one I want to watch, was liberating. It felt like a snake shedding its skin, or the cicada who has outgrown its hard crusty shell, and slowly makes an ugly entrance and sits, in the sun.

Feeling it for the first time …”

The feeling of wanting and waiting just to feel the warmth of the sun, the kiss of the slight breeze. The sounds

of cars and trains, birds. The smells again of outside for the first time.

Enjoying it from a different view, a new perspective. Stripping life of all and any luxury. The luxury of smelling fresh air. Hearing the sounds of the city, people laughing or even arguing. These are luxuries. Being self taught that it isn’t my hell, yet it’s my

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As I texted my thoughts to my friend, I heard a voice behind me, a man’s voice “Hey, you guys have to get here early to get these spots?”

He introduced himself as Lee, and was curious as to the food truck logistics.

He explained he recently traveled through Spain with nothing more than a backpack and his wife as a companion. We exchanged our views about the gifts life gives us, and I was pleasantly taken aback that out of the five trucks parked there, he chose me. He chose me to interact with, share reasons to look at life and feel the balance and the pull of the weight which can lead you down a path you create. To choose to see the

{ KARMA SPEAKS }

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{{ SHIFT+CONTROL KARMA SPEAKS }} “ He told me it wasn’t per chance, we are both kindred souls. I was meant to be on his path. I couldn’t agree more, as he left and said the words I spoke came straight from his heart. And I felt this to be true. ”

good, to smile at a stranger, and look up and let the sun kiss your face.

He told me it wasn’t per chance, we are both kindred souls. I was meant to be on his path. I couldn’t agree more, as he left and said the words I spoke came straight from his heart.

And I felt this to be true.

I watched the other trucks get ready for service, they didn’t meet Lee or hear the woman go by on her phone tell the recipient “I love you” as she hurried off to work. Or even see the city worker who I smiled at, nor did they know that at that moment I 350

received a text that said thank you Karma, for being you, please don’t ever stop.

I didn’t respond all day, as lunch service started and the heat wave brings out the hunger. It wasn’t until later that we spoke again. This time it wasn’t in the group, yet one on one.

You see my friend just had his legs removed, and is rehabilitating at the hospital, inside looking out. He wanted me to know that his lack of response doesn’t want to provoke me from not texting, or visiting or sharing.

We spoke about words and the gift

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of script and if I can reach someone with words “when they need it the most” potentially I may not even be there to see that.

That’s the thing, I don’t need to be .. as long as they have reached you, when you need them the most. If my time away from the sun, means that one day you remember my words, and you find a reason to smile, I don’t need to see it, as I too, will be smiling at the sun.

{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY }

WOMEN AT THE HEART

BY OLGA MONACELL

OF THE WALK TO END ALZHEIMER’S

Thousands of people from across the Rochester and Finger Lakes region participated in the Walk to End Alzheimer’s this October. Families whose loved ones have been affected by Alzheimer’s or another dementia came together in Canandaigua, Elmira and Rochester, determined to fight against the disease that cannot be cured, prevented or even slowed. Wearing purple and holding Promise Garden flowers indicating everyone’s connection to Alzheimer’s, participants raised funds for care, support and research. Here are some of their stories.

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terrible disease,” said Lauren.

RUTH MANN OF NEWARK began participating in the Walk to End Alzheimer’s in 2008, shortly after her husband Chuck was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s dementia.

He passed away in 2018. Now, she continues to walk with her children and grandchildren.

Ruth’s daughter-in-law, Norma Holland Mann, chaired the volunteer planning committee for this year’s event in the Finger Lakes. “For me, it is not just walking. It is getting together with people who share the

SANDY TRAMACERA OF WAYNE COUNTY walked with her extended family in memory of her mother, Irma Verstraete.

After Irma died, Sandy became an Alzheimer’s Association advocate, seeking support from New York State legislators for public policies that improve lives of individuals living with dementia and their family caregivers. “My family participates in the Walk to End Alzheimer’s not only to honor our loved ones, but also to support other families affected by the disease,” said Sandy.

same experiences. They make you feel like you are not alone,” said Norma.

LAUREN SNYDER OF PENN YAN walked with her daughter Bethany in honor of her parents. Lauren lost her mother Arlene Richmond to Alzheimer’s dementia in 2014 and her father Roger Richmond to Lewy body dementia in 2015. For several years, Lauren and her husband cared for her parents at home. Eventually, both Arlene and Roger had to be admitted to a nursing home. “My family walks to support critical research so that we can find a cure for this

MAUREEN MCGUIRE, longtime anchor at Rochester’s CBS-affiliated News 8 WROCTV, walked in memory of her parents, Dennis and Mary McGuire. Mary cared for Dennis who lived with Alzheimer’s and the strain of caregiving took a toll on her own health. “When my father learned of his diagnosis, he wanted to take part in a clinical trial knowing it wouldn’t benefit him, but might benefit us or our children or our grandchildren. He was committed

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to finding a treatment that would stop the disease on its tracks. It’s our family’s legacy to make sure that Alzheimer’s comes to an end,” said Maureen.

ISABEL GARCIA is a news anchor at the Elmira-based ABC/CBS affiliate WENYTV. Isabel and her family are caring for her father-in-law who lives with Alzheimer’s.

In the last few years, Isabel has been part of the volunteer planning committee for the Walk to End Alzheimer’s in Elmira.

Top fundraiser of the Walk to End Alzheimer’s in Elmira, Rose Carnegie of Pine City participated in the Walk in memory of her husband Bill. She cared for him at home for 13 years. Bill died in 2010. “I have been part of the Walk to End Alzheimer’s since Bill was diagnosed in 1997. I believe I have raised well over $250,000 in this time period,” Rose said.

A top fundraiser of the Walk to End Alzheimer’s in Rochester, Sue Ras of Brockport walked in memory of her husband Jim. He was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia when he was in his early 70s. Sue retired to care for Jim. After losing him four years ago, Sue made it her life’s mission to educate people about the devastating impact of dementia on families.

JAYA SHASHIDHAR OF ELMIRA is caring for her father-in-law. She is also a long-distance caregiver to her mother.

Jaya’s daughter Sharada, who is a vocal performance student at New School, helped organize a jazz concert to raise funds for Jaya’s team ahead of the Walk. “Dementia is affecting our parents. I felt I needed to do something about it and support the

{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY }

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Broccolo is knownyards, for creating “the best-looking using an environmental approach”.

{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY } “The funds raised by these women and their families make a difference in the lives of those facing Alzheimer’s and other dementias and help the Alzheimer’s Association advance promising worldwide research initiatives.“

research for a cure,” said Jaya.

FOR JESSICA KRUEGER OF RUSH, this was the first Walk to End Alzheimer’s.

Jessica’s mother Becky was 59 in 2013, when she was diagnosed with younger-onset Alzheimer’s. In the last six years, the disease progressed significantly. “I often reach out to the Alzheimer’s Association’s helpline, day or night, with big or small questions.

I also attend a support group for caregivers.

The advice and encouragement I receive is amazing. I don’t feel alone anymore. So, I wanted to give back to the Alzheimer’s Association for everything it does for my family,” said Jessica.

GAIL VALENTINO OF DANSVILLE 358

walked in honor of her mother Jackie who died of Alzheimer’s in 2017. “Caring for my mom and watching her steady decline has been THE most difficult thing I have ever had to do,” said Gail. This was Gail’s fifth Walk to End Alzheimer’s. She donned her purple and walked with her two miniature dachshunds—also dressed in purple.

Hundreds of volunteers helped the Association plan the Walk and rally participants in Canandaigua, Elmira and Rochester. “We would like to thank all the volunteers for their incredible efforts in making the 2019 Walk to End Alzheimer’s a success,” said Ray Jacobi, Alzheimer’s Association board member who lost both his mother and his mother-in-law to dementia and walked

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with his family in Canandaigua.

Thank you to all participants of the Walk to End Alzheimer’s in Canandaigua, Elmira and Rochester! The funds raised by these women and their families make a difference in the lives of those facing Alzheimer’s and other dementias and help the Alzheimer’s Association advance promising worldwide research initiatives. To learn more about the Walk to End Alzheimer’s or sign up for the 2020 event near you, visit alz.org/walk.

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{ GARDENING WITH BROCCOLO }

FALL CLEAN UP!

BY CHERYL L. KATES

As summer winds down, in the windy city, what a season we endured, hot, cold, thunderstorm, and rain. With the rain, comes weeds! You know, those pesky plants growing up invading our beautiful gardens.

With the controversies about what weed killer is safe? Or can it be applied when you have pets? Is the product good for the environment? What about cancer? If you are like me, who has the time? We all want our homes to have that curb appeal. Blooming flowers year-round, a special water feature, or just stateof -the art landscaping. It’s fun to try to do it yourself, but annuals or perennials? spacing? sun or shade? It can get a bit overwhelming to figure out all by yourself.

Let’s face it some of us just are garden killers. Plant it. It looks great for a few weeks, then what? Calling in a professional to help plan things out, schedule a maintenance plan, and guidance of what to plant, where can ensure you can enjoy your landscaping for many years to come.

What better place to check out then Broccolo Garden Center with Laurie Broccolo. They have the plants and the provide a wide-range of services, it’s a one stop shop for making your yard beautiful. That’s not all, Broccolo even has an event space which we will feature in upcoming months. Have your wedding there in their awesome event space: the barn. Get your engagement photos there, plan a photo shoot in the willow tunnel. Photographers grab your cameras create an out of this world shoot but shhh… it’s not yet a place where everyone uses so be a trendsetter! Got a 362

business event your planning or one for charity? Call Laurie, they can help you plan an event to remember. Support local business and guess what? It’s a womanowned enterprise, so you are helping empower women!!!

Broccolo is known for creating “the bestlooking yards, using an environmental approach”. They provide a free consultation

where one of the experienced pros come check out your yard and come up with a plan of getting it under control and making it beautiful. They have many services to help do this including a 5 visit lawn care program that inspects, treats and fertilizes, to design services to create an enjoyable outdoor space to enjoy for many years to come and there’s something for everyone’s budget. They can help find solutions to environmental problems, help you to plant flowers that attract butterflies or birds and then also

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schedule a maintenance program to keep everything looking great year-round.

The Broccolo team has a great challenge today as they are venturing over to Diva 1’s. Boy-oh-Boy do we have a jungle over here for them to tame! We live in the town of Pittsford and our yard is around an acre. When we bought the property, it was a hot mess and was unoccupied for over 6 months. There was a long road ahead of us, making our house into a home including interior remodeling and then yard clean up. It has come a long way, but we still need some professional help. We have a gravel driveway.

There was a horrible layout. There were sheds that were falling over. It was a long, long process to get the property up to par. We are getting there! We need help.

There is an overgrown flowerbed where ferns have taken over.

Seedlings from a nearby tree have floated over and now there are baby trees sprouting up everywhere. Its time for a do over. This entire bed is being cleaned out and hopefully by the spring this overgrown mess will be a beautiful waterfall. We will keep you updated on the progress. Life took over and the entire yard needs some maintenance because the weeds are taking residence. The yard needs a full make over. Broccolo stepped up and it took it on. As you can see from the before and after pictures they successfully tamed the jungle!

{ GARDENING WITH BROCCOLO } “Broccolo is known for creating “the best-looking yards, using an environmental approach.”

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{ GARDENING WITH BROCCOLO }

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Find Your InnerDiva...

MARIO’S HAIR SALON 1474 Monroe Ave Rochester, New York 14618 (585) 473-8593 marioshair.com

{ MENTALLY THINKING }

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

BY BONNIE FLOYD

October has been designated as national Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

According to the National Coalition against Domestic Violence, one in four women and one in nine men experience domestic violence.

Chances are very high that you know someone who has personally been affected by domestic violence, or that you have experienced it yourself. Domestic violence affects women from highly different backgrounds, including those who are financially destitute or affluent. It affects high school dropouts, as well as doctors.

forms, including the following: hitting, kicking, biting, slapping, shaking, pushing, pulling, punching, choking, beating, scratching, pulling hair, stabbing, shooting, drowning, burning, hitting with an object, or threatening with a weapon. Alternatively, it may manifest as withholding of physical needs, include interrupting one’s sleep, denying money, food, transportation or assistance.

Sometimes physical abuse is displayed when an abuser hits or kicks walls, doors,

Domestic violence can take many different forms. It may manifest as control, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and intimidation, isolation, verbal abuse, using male privilege, economic abuse, and/or stalking.

Controlling behavior is a way for the abuser to maintain dominance over the victim. It is the core issue in domestic violence. The abuser feels justified in their behavior. Controlling behavior may manifest as calling or coming home early to check up on one’s partner, monitoring one’s phone calls, or invading one’s privacy. It may also show up as attempts to convince a victim that they’re incapable of surviving without the abuser’s assistance.

Physical abuse may take many different 370

or other inanimate objects.

Sexual abuse may also take several different forms. It may appear as using force, guilt, or manipulation or not considering the victim’s desire to have sex. It frequently arises as exhibiting excessive jealousy, resulting in false accusations of infidelity. Sometimes is manifests as having affairs with an outsider and using intimate information

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to taunt the victim. It may also manifest as withholding sex from the victim as a form of control.

According to the AMEND Workbook for Ending Violent Behavior, emotional abuse is any behavior that exploits another’s vulnerability, including continuous degradation, intimidation, manipulation, brainwashing, or control of another to the detriment of an individual. This frequently involves the use of reality distorting statements or behaviors that are intended to induce confusion and insecurity in the victim.

Isolation is frequently employed as a tactic in relationships that are characterized by domestic violence. Perpetrators attempt to keep their victims away from family and friends, thereby causing victims to lose contact with the very resources that they so desperately require in order to leave an abusive relationship.

Victims themselves may also self-isolate for a variety of reasons, including fear of public humiliation or guilt regarding the condition of their relationship.

Verbal abuse is yet another form of mistreatment that women may receive from their partners. It may come across as coercion, threats, and blame; it is defined as the use of any abusive language that is used to denigrate, embarrass, or threaten a victim. Verbal abuse mat be manifested by name calling, telling

{ MENTALLY THINKING } “Sexual abuse may also take several different forms. It may appear as using force, guilt, or manipulation or not considering the victim’s desire to have sex.”

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{ {RWO’S MENTALLY MENTAL THINKING HEALTH} } “Any woman can find herself involved in domestic violence. If you do, please seek assistance right away.”

the victim that they are unattractive or undesirable, yelling, screaming. rampaging, terrorizing, or refusing to talk to one’s partner.

Financial abuse refers to efforts aimed at controlling the family income and either not allowing the victim access to money, or to rigidly limiting their access to family financial funds. It may also show up as attempts to control whether a woman loses the job that she has, or efforts to prevent her from obtaining employment. Financial abuse includes refusing to provide transportation to work or interfering with a woman’s ability to perform her job, such as repeatedly calling her while at work.

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Stalking behaviors are defined as those in which a person intentionally or knowingly engages in a course of conduct that is directed toward another person, and which causes that person to fear for their safety or the safety of an immediate family member. Stalking is also defined as actions that would cause a reasonable person to fear physical injury or death to themselves, or to one’s immediate family members.

Some may erroneously conclude that women who find themselves in a domestic violence situation should simply leave that relationship. If only it were that easy to do so. Statistics have shown that women are 70 times more likely

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to be killed in the weeks after leaving their abusive partner than at any other time in the relationship, according to the Domestic Violence Intervention program.

Personally, I have found myself involved in a relationship marked by domestic violence. Having done so, a full twenty years ago, completely shattered a lot of my preconceived ideas about the “type of woman” who finds herself involved in a domestic violence situation.

Any woman can find herself involved in domestic violence. If you do, please seek assistance right away.

{ WORTH MORE NATION }

WORTH MORE NATION PAGEANTS ARTICLE & PHOTOS BY SANDY ARENA

Worth More Nation is an organization that has come together through the helping hands and hearts of people in the upstate New York and around the country to empower individuals impacted by foster care to know their worth.

Our initiatives may be considered on the non-practical side of helping, if the deeper meanings of our work are not understood. Here is a little recap of our initiatives including some exciting and new programs in the works!

Miss Worth More Nation Pageants Our group hosts pageants for girls in foster care called the Miss Worth More Nation Pageant where we crown, gown and banner young ladies ages 6 to 25 whose lives have been touched, or may also be fully immersed in the foster care community. Our goal is to offer glitter-filled weekends where we learn dance choreography, participate in speaking and formalwear presentation workshops, develop community service platforms, join in professional photoshoots, and yes - get all dolled up. It is girlie and also very fun - if all things fancy are your thing!

But beyond the joy of pageant events, it’s empowerment. It’s empowering to put on a crown, a beautiful gown fitted just for you, and to have people fuss over your appearance. It’s empowering to hold a microphone in front of an audience to speak, to share your story, to be heard, to become visible. It’s empowering to glide across a stage head held high, and have an audience appreciate your poise, your 374

confidence, and your inner beauty as it shines on the outside. It’s empowering to connect with a community of girls and young ladies who have been where you have been and have walked the journey and all its chaos, confusion, trauma and heartache – no fault your own – alongside you.

Queens Crowning Queens Program Clearly we love our pageant events dearly and hold them close to our hearts. We believe so much in the effectiveness of our work that we decided to take it to the

nation with our new Queens Crowning Queens program.

Meet Desi our first Miss Worth More Nation National Queen! Desi grew up in foster care and has since aged out of the system which means she is no longer under the care of the system and is living on her own. Many kids who are removed from the system at age 18 are left to care for themselves and are in extremely difficult places – unprepared and without the support they desperately need to launch into successful adulthood. Because of the

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high incidence of homelessness and poverty resulting from these impossible circumstances, more and more wrap around programs and movements have been created to help young people achieve success through these changes.

Desi is from Oklahoma, and she shared her story on social media and captured the hearts of thousands - including us - with her heartfelt story of what her life was like growing up in brokenness, as well as her faith which sustains her now to know despite her past she is Worth More! Desi is making a difference inspiring other girls and being a role model. She is a true queen in every sense of the word.

We reached out to Desi and asked if we could crown her our first Miss Worth More Nation national queen.

She embraced the role and the queen accessories we sent her way thanks to the generosity of the pageant community and our donors and supporters from around the nation. We were able to outfit Desi with a beautiful gown from our Worth More Nation Special Occasion Closet, a Miss Worth More Nation banner, and a crown. She did the rest by scheduling this beautiful photo shoot to show off her new look.

Our new goal is to crown a queen from every state. We are looking for girls who have grown up in foster care and have aged out of the system who are willing to share their stories with the purpose of inspiring others. As we crown new Miss Worth More Nation queens from around the United States, we will share our queens’ stories and send them a gown, a personalized Miss

{ IN HER DEFENSE }

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{ GARDENING WITH BROCCOLO }

{ WORTH MORE NATION } “Over time, I get asked quite a few questions regarding personal defense. It is interesting the different types of questions that I will hear from all types of people, in all walks a of life.”

Worth More Nation banner, and a crown.

If you are a young lady who has aged out of the foster care system and would like to participate in this program, please reach out by emailing us at info@worthmorenation. org. We are also greatly in need of funds for this program to purchase the banners and pay shipping fees of the gowns and crowns we send to our new queens! Visit our website at www.worthmorenation. org/donate to contribute to this program.

WORTH MORE NATION HOLIDAY TOY DRIVE A little love goes a very long way, and especially during the holidays for children in foster care. Help us bless children and families this holiday season who are caring for multiple children and trying to make ends meet while brightening the season for children in need of love and care.

We are gearing up for our Worth More Nation Holiday Toy Collection Drive for Children Impacted by Foster Care again

this year. Last year we collected over 150 brand new toys, holiday attire and gifts for children and teenagers in foster care mainly through our upstate New York community and we are hoping to double our efforts this year.

Chandelier Boutique (1 South Main Street, Pittsford, NY 14534; 585-730-1156) and Rochester Woman Online Studios (811 Ridge Road, Webster; 585-727-9120; networkrocqueen@gmail.com) have agreed to join Worth More Nation as drop off sites for items donated by local families to help ease the process. We will begin collecting toys, gifts, sleep wear and holiday special occasion attire for children ages newborn through teenager November 11 through December 16. We will deliver gifts and items to agencies and organizations that serve the foster care community in the greater Monroe County and Rochester areas.

Our national contributors can also shop and ship to support our cause through our Amazon Wish List. Click here to Shop and Ship to our Worth More Nation facilities: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/ls/ref=cm_

wl_huc_title?ie=UTF8&lid=GSDSD6SC MF9K&ref_=cm_wl_huc_title&ty=wishlist Fashion Show Fundraiser We are hosting a fashion show fundraiser on January 12, 2020 at the Multi-use Community Cultural Center in Rochester (www.muccc.org). Save the date and plan to see our Worth More Nation ambassadors, models and local pageant girls hit the runway to help support our Special Occasion Closet for Girls Impacted by Foster Care. We will be showcasing the many gorgeous gowns and dresses in our closet that have been donated to us from the local and national pageant community. All money collected through this event will support our closet renovations to create a more beautiful place for the gorgeous gowns to be displayed and stored, and for our fittings.

Thank you to all the models, pageant queens and momagers who came out to our promo shoot at the Children’s Garden in Ithaca where we worked with Bob Schultz Photography to capture these gorgeous images of our closet selections. It was a glorious

occasion closet that is open and available for girls and women impacted by foster care.

In the past two years since Worth More Nation was founded, we have distributed over 150 gowns and special occasion dresses to girls, young ladies and women impacted by foster care. We have increased our distribution to send dresses nationally and are always in need of donations of new, almost new or very gently used gowns, cocktail and appearance dresses. If you have gowns to donate, please reach out. We have appreciated every queen and queen mom who has shared the beauty of their pageant closets to help girls find hope, self confidence and worth through the power of a dress! Visit www.worthmorenation. org or email: info@worthmorrnation.org We Want to Hear From You and an Invitation to our National Pageant Empowerment can be achieved when we share our stories. Worth More Nation wants to hear from young ladies and women - age 18 and older - who grew up in foster care and who aged out of the system or other care programs and circumstances how their lives have been impacted and how 382

hope and victory was found in the midst of pain. When we share, we break the power silence and shame may have over our lives in the midst of our difficult stories and unthinkable losses. Speaking out inspires others to find their brave and do the same.

Because we give voice, a sense of confidence and honor through pageantry and fashion initiatives, those sharing their stories age 18 and above are also invited to join our Miss Worth More Nation state queen program for women who have aged out of foster care so we may present to you a gown, a personalized Miss Worth More Nation banner with your first name and state, and a crown - quite simply to say we honor you; we see you; we hear you; you are worth more.

Our state queens over age 18 will receive a non-obligatory invitation to attend our national pageant to gather with other young ladies and women across the country to find empowerment in community, in the sharing of stories, and through fun pageantry activities like getting your hair and makeup done, wearing gorgeous gowns and dresses, learning to present yourself on stage and

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participating in empowerment workshops.

Email us at info@worthmorenation.org for more information, to share your story and to participate.

CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER The Federation of Social Workers has announced its honorees at this year’s Human Service Worker of the Year Awards luncheon including our very own Worth More Nation Assistant Directors Annaliese Arena and Claudia Williams who will be honored as the Next Generation Contributors!

We are so thankful for this great honor and for their work in human services and foster care with Worth More Nation. The young ladies will receive their awards at a special luncheon on November 1 at the Joseph A. Floreano Rochester Riverside Convention Center. The event is open to the public. For ticket information, email info@worthmorenation.org

{ YOU MATTER }

BELIEVE

BY JUDI SWANSON

Lexico.com defines believe in the following ways: • Accept that something is true, especially with proof.

• Accept the statement of someone being true.

• Have religious faith.

• Feel someone is capable of doing something.

• Hold something as an opinion; think.

This past week the word believe has been cropping up. The plethora of events going on in the world and in the United States there have been articles about what people believe. Individuals have been clashing about different belief values. It seems like people are shouting at one another about what they believe.

From what I am observing is there is not much listening and understanding about why a person believes what they believe. The conversation gets stuck because both parties feel entitled to their belief and somehow a different belief is a challenge. Do people think the louder they talk the more likely someone will agree with them?

A few weeks ago I went with friends to see the new home of our former neighbor. Her new home is gorgeous. As the night wore on we laughed a lot, bantering back and forth. At one point the conversation turned to the current events in our country. In the group there is diversity in regards to political beliefs and other high profile issues. We used patience and respect to listen to one another. Did we acknowledge the different beliefs we held? Absolutely. During the discussions we also found some common ground.

Core values of how every person deserves to be treated. It took talking, listening, not getting defensive (which for me can 384

be difficult as I am passionate about what I believe). When the evening ended I felt like I had grown in a good way as a human.

My guess is my friends had evolved as well.

Using patience, understanding and finding common ground helped to increase the friendship bond between us. I found taking the energy to listen helped me to better understand a different point of view than the one I hold.

Conversation and compromise unites.

Disagreement with discussion can increase

understanding and connection. Shouting and shaming diminishes and destroys.

After that night I decided to take stock of what I believe. Here is a beginning list: • I believe everyone in the world is trying to do and be their best. In my career as a social worker there are many individuals past and present who have circumstances that are challenging, traumatic, extreme. The fact that they get out of bed each morning and try is incredible. There is a quote “be kinder as everyone you meet is fighting a

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battle you know nothing about”. You do not always know the background of who you are interacting with. Even people who appear to have it all together might not.

• I believe we should always support and emphasize the positive in ourselves and others. Not one of us is perfect and we will never be perfect. Building ourselves to feel empowered is important, valuable, wonderful.

This holds true for other people in your life.

Positive brings more positive for everyone.

Reflect when you were around a child learning how to walk, tie their shoe, or run. Did you mock, put them down, shame them? Did you encourage them with a “you can do this” or “good job”? Do your words and actions build confidence? Or would you say you should be walking better, you are tying your shoes wrong, why are you not running yet? My guesstimate is that you empowered the child.

Empower yourself. Empower others.

• I believe that no matter who you are and what you have done that I will treat you in a respectful way. I respect myself.

My self-respect will carry one to every individual I come in contact with, EVEN if it is an individual that I do not care for what they have done, are doing, or if they are being disrespectful to me. This can be incredibly hard at times. When I hold myself to this belief and act accordingly my soul feels strong, empowered, balanced.

• I believe in being kind to ourselves. That self-care is a priority.

• I believe in being kind to each other.

• I believe in taking a stand if someone

“What do you believe in that is true to you? To do your best to live each day being the best person you want to be.”

{ YOU MATTER } “I respect myself. My self-respect will carry one to every individual I come in contact with, EVEN if it is an individual that I do not care for what they have done, are doing, or if they are being disrespectful to me.”

is disrespecting, demeaning or mocking someone. I use the power of my words in a respectful way to ask them to stop.

It is uncomfortable when you are hearing someone put down someone. There were times I did not take an action and speak up. Those moments haunted me and I was upset with myself. When I do speak up I am still uncomfortable. It is a better discomfort. Even though I feel scared I am taking an action that feels good.

• I believe we need to take care of the precious Earth we are using during our time on this glorious planet.

• I believe there are magical, mystic, forces of nature, the universe, spiritual occurrences and connections happening. There are times for all of us that things align that cannot be logically explained. Enjoy the magical 386

moment for the good that it holds.

• I believe the in the potential and possibility of each person. The only people who hold us back from fulling our dreams and desires is us. Each person has qualities, smarts, abilities that only they hold. We are all capable of change.

• I believe we do not bring in any bad stuff into our lives. There is lots of crappy stuff going on in this world. No human wants horrible things in their life. We need to stop shaming and demeaning others for their circumstances. We need to stop shaming and demeaning ourselves. Compassion is a mighty powerful emotion when we choose to use it.

• I believe in saying “what can I do to help” when someone is struggling. If what they

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need is something I can do, I do it. If it is something I can’t do then I problem solve to who or what might be able to help.

There is great power in reaching out to help someone. When people have offered to help me during my struggles I felt cared for and supported. The kindnesses that have been bestowed upon me I freely share with others.

So amazing person take time to ponder about what your core values are. What do you believe in that is true to you. To do your best to live each day being the best person you want to be. To be kind to yourself when you are not. We are all evolving creatures just trying to do our best! Every one of us is imperfectly perfect doing the best we can on the learning curve called life.

May what you believe be with you!

{ WORD OF MOUTH }

SMILING AT THE SUN

BY DR SAM KHALIL

People with gum disease (periodontitis) have a greater likelihood of high blood pressure (hypertension), according to a study published today in Cardiovascular Research, a journal of the European Society of Cardiology (ESC).

Senior author Professor Francesco D’Aiuto of UCL Eastman Dental Institute, UK, said: “We observed a linear association -- the more severe periodontitis is, the higher the probability of hypertension.

The findings suggest that patients with gum disease should be informed of their risk and given advice on lifestyle changes to prevent high blood pressure such as exercise and a healthy diet.”

from 26 countries were included in the meta-analysis.

Moderate-to-severe periodontitis was associated with a 22% raised risk for hypertension, while severe periodontitis was linked with 49% higher odds of hypertension. Lead author Dr Eva Munoz Aguilera of UCL Eastman Dental Institute said: “We observed a positive linear relationship, with the hazard of high blood pressure rising as gum disease became more severe.”

This study compiled the best available evidence to examine the odds of high blood pressure in patients with moderate and severe gum disease. A total of 81 studies 388

Professor D’Aiuto said: “There seems to be a continuum between oral health and blood pressure which exists in healthy and diseased states. The evidence suggesting periodontal therapy could reduce blood pressure remains inconclusive. In nearly all intervention studies, blood pressure was not the primary outcome. Randomised trials are needed to determine the impact of periodontal therapy on blood pressure.”

Regarding potential reasons for the connection between the conditions, gum disease and the associated oral bacteria lead to inflammation throughout the body, which affects blood vessel function. Common genetic susceptibility could also play a role, along with shared risk factors such as smoking and obesity.

High blood pressure affects 30-45% of adults and is the leading global cause of premature death, while periodontitis affects more than 50% of the world’s population. Hypertension is the main preventable cause of cardiovascular disease, and periodontitis has been linked with increased risk of heart attack and stroke.

“Hypertension could be the driver of heart attack and stroke in patients with periodontitis,” said Professor D’Aiuto.

“Previous research suggests a connection between periodontitis and hypertension and that dental treatment might improve blood pressure, but to date the findings are inconclusive.”

in blood pressure following gum treatment.

The changes occurred even in people with healthy blood pressure levels.

Average arterial blood pressure was higher in patients with periodontitis compared to those without. This amounted to 4.5 mmHg higher systolic and 2 mmHg higher diastolic blood pressures. “The differences are not negligible,” said Dr Munoz Aguilera. “An average 5 mmHg blood pressure rise would be linked to a 25% increased risk of death from heart attack or stroke.”

Just 5 out of 12 interventional studies included in the review showed a reduction

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Professor D’Aiuto said: “In many countries throughout the world, oral health is not checked regularly, and gum disease remains untreated for many years. The hypothesis is that this situation of oral and systemic inflammation and response to bacteria accumulates on top of existing risk factors.”

He noted that the study investigated gum disease as a potential risk factor for hypertension, but the reverse could also be true. “Further research is needed to examine whether patients with high blood pressure have a raised likelihood of gum disease. It seems prudent to provide oral health advice to those with hypertension,” he said.

{ WORD OF MOUTH }

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New York 14625 I (585) 218-4110 ssequipment.com

{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE }

UNMANAGED LIFE

BY GIOVANNA WALTON

Since October is Domestic Violence Month, I decided to write about it. There are many misconceptions people have about domestic violence. Some believe that it only happens with low income families, minorities, the uneducated, married people or only to women.The truth and the reality is that it happens in rich families, the educated, married, boyfriend/girlfriend, teens, any race, any religion, same sex partners and believe it or not, it also happens to men. With men, it isn’t discussed or talked about like it is with women.

The other misconception is that domestic violence is only physical. That is where many get caught up in bad relationships. The other signs are Emotional, Psychological, Verbal and Sexual. These signs are the ones that are overlooked and most people don’t connect them to Domestic Violence.

The reason why they’re overlooked and not connected is because it’s gradual. Someone may be having a bad day and because they said they’re sorry, it’s all good. Until it happens again and again. The last misconception is that people quickly judge others that are in it. They say, ‘Why doesn’t she just leave?’

Or ‘If that was me...!’ If it was ONLY that simple. Unless you’ve experienced it yourself, you will NEVER KNOW the trauma that a person faces. There is a tremendous amount of fear in a Domestic Violent relationship. It can take a strong person and weaken them over time. It is NOT easy to escape.

I knew a woman who befriended a friend of her husbands. Her husband was away and they both agreed to help him out. One day, Dick said he had an emergency and had to go to the apartment he was staying at, to get his clothes, and could she pick him up.

He said they ‘shut the house down’ because of drugs and the house was raided. In her head she questioned it because there was no tape. So she asked him about it. He had the right answer so she didn’t think anything 394

of it. She and her husband were kind and helpful people. They weren’t ones to turn their back on anyone. So she picked him up to take him to where he wanted to go. The problem? He didn’t have anywhere to go.

So, reluctantly, she took him to their house where she told him he was to stay for a very short time. It wasn’t long after that, that she realized this man had some serious issues.

One day, her husband happened to call and she told him what happened. He didn’t want him staying there either. She understood but at this point, she couldn’t tell her husband she was trapped. She understood her husband’s concern and by this time, she figured out how something wasn’t right with this guy. Things weren’t adding up and when she questioned him, he always seemed to have the right answer.

She got off the phone with her husband and told the guy that her husband (also this guys ‘friend’), didn’t want him staying there. Then it began.

Dick became very angry and threatened to call her mother-in-law to tell her they were having an affair. Her mother-in-law knew he would be lying. He wanted her phone. She threw it to him and said go ahead because she wouldn’t believe you. He got enraged, he picked her up, choked her, punched her, threw her across the room and stepped on her. He stopped and realized what he did.

He got her up and now she was terrorized.

NEVER, in her entire life, has anyone done that to her. He apologized to her.

She forgave him, hoping that it was a fluke.

Unfortunately, it didn’t stop there. He eventually raped her. She had nowhere to turn and she was utterly alone and secluded with this demon. He was running from parole, which she found out later and he was now paranoid. So he watched and studied every move she made. Sounds like a movie, right?

THIS was her nightmare. He went with

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her to her job and waited in the car until she was done working. This went on for a few months and almost every day. She never knew what would set him off. He barely let her out of her site or allow her to talk to many people. He would have to see her phone and if she said no, another choking, another beating would come. She had to watch every move, what she said and how she responded to him. Somehow, he knew things, almost as if he had her bugged. The beatings didn’t stop. He would get mad over the stupidest things like food in a Wegman’s bag in the refrigerator, that she didn’t get a chance to take out. The WHOLE refrigerator HAD to be cleaned. One day, she was making steak for dinner. He said something mean and she gave it right back to him, so he threw the whole steak outside.

He was escalating fast. This was going on since The middle to late July and it was now the middle of September. They were in the car driving and one of her friend’s called.

She said, ‘Hey boyfriend’, as a joke because that’s what they did. Her husband knew it too. After she got off the phone, Dick slammed her head up against the window, he continued to do it while screaming at her. He was punching her, too. A guy in another vehicle stopped and asked if there was an issue but Dick got out of the car, holding up traffic and confronted the guy.

By this time, her husband knew what was going on. He had taken it hard. He was helpless. He knew the reason it was happening was because of him. He didn’t know this guy was like this or he would have NEVER introduced her! One day, her husband called her to say he was coming home earlier than anticipated. She was ecstatic! She told Dick. He didn’t seem too happy but he held it together. It was October now. Her husband would send letters to her but never let on that he knew.

{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE } “There are many misconceptions people have about domestic violence. Some believe that it only happens with low income families, minorities, the uneducated, married people or only to women.”

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Dick decided to ride with her to work and while she was there, he rummaged through her car like he always did. This time, he found a letter that her husband sent a few days before letting her know a friend of theirs was coming home. He discovered the letter. He confronted her about it. She said she didn’t think it was important and why did she have to show him or tell him when she got letters from her husband, anyway? The day she got the letter she was short on time and on her way to her next job. She read it on the way to work and forgot about it. Dick didn’t say anything until...

said, ‘Jesus, please forgive Dick because he doesn’t know what he’s doing’. He dropped the knife. He hung his head down. He walked into the kitchen saying that HE, himself deserved to die.

The next day, when she came home, he locked the door behind her. He had her trapped. He took her and threw her into the dining room, where she fell over on a chair. He was relentless. He wouldn’t stop choking and hitting her. She was a rag doll. He got a knife and held it close to her neck. He scraped it against her, cutting her. Then he stabbed her arm, legs and the back of her neck. He brought her into her bedroom and asked her if she had any last words to tell her husband and children before she died. You see, he thought she was going to choose him over her husband.

He didn’t want her to be with anyone else but him. While he had the knife, poking her with it, he asked her again. ‘Do you have anything to say?’ More than anything, she loved Jesus and she knew that even if she died, she would be in heaven. She

Why didn’t she call sooner? FEAR!!!!

Women in domestic violent situations are held captive, not only physically but mentally and emotionally. If and when he/she threatens to kill you, believe them, they will.

She went to work the next day. The wounds still there. She hid them under her clothes. She knew she couldn’t go back home after that. She had been working with some people for a while, to help her come up with a plan of escape and his arrest. She couldn’t afford sloppiness. She couldn’t risk for him to catch on about the plan because he would come back to kill her.

Domestic violence is a gradual process.

It starts out with things like controlling who you hang out with or what family member you see. Then, gradually, you’re not hanging out with any friends and then you find yourself alienated from family members.

Then it’s controlling who calls you, having a baby so they can keep you in one place, while they run around. Economically, they control the finances. They make it so you can’t live on your own AND totally dependent on them. The ‘victim’ will do what they need to do to keep the peace.

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They’re main goal is to keep them happy so the abuse doesn’t start. When the abuse DOES happen, the ‘victim’ blames themselves. Eventually, the continued abuse wears at their self worth. Judging them or telling them ‘if that were me’ will NEVER help in this situation. Narcissists are these people too. They NEED to be reassured that IF and WHEN they DO leave, they will have a support system in place and that the abuser will leave them alone.

This is where it becomes sticky. Most times there isn’t any support because of the alienation of friends and family. In their mind, the only way out is to kill the abuser. They know the choice is either to kill him/her or they will be killed. Women are doing time for that now. They would be right. Many women have died from an abusive relationship. The DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE states that in general: ‘More than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 3 men (28.5%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in there lifetime’.

So, if you want to help, get them in contact with the right agencies. Educate our women and men to these types of people.

These are Narcissists to the extreme. That doesn’t mean that they don’t have other mental health issues but learning about the narcissist and what signs or red flags to look for will be a step in the right direction!

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{ GLOW FASHION }

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{ GLOW FASHION }

THE POWER OF AN OUTFIT

BY REBECCA & DANIELLE PEPLINSKI I PHOTOS BY GLOW FASHION

Your clothing communicates volumes about you as a person. Without even realizing it, it tells a story about who you are. But style does more than just send a message to others, it impacts how a woman thinks about herself. When a woman makes a decision of what to wear, it truly sets the tone for her day.

Research shows how it affects her behavior and overall outlook.

dress became a personal goal. In the crazy midst of raising kiddos, an idea became a vision and a vision became a reality. Every woman can

The power of YOUR outfit comes down to your personal taste and style.

It could be that you feel most powerful when you are wearing something comfortable, it could be when you put on a pair of killer heels, or it could be when you wear something super trendy or fashionable.

The power of an outfit is connected to your mood, confidence and self-esteem. When a woman puts on a piece of clothing that feels great, fits well and looks amazing, it creates confidence because she feels beautiful. She’s in charge and ready to take on her day.

Ultimately, It’s about what you feel your absolute best in.

The power of an outfit inspired two stay at home mothers to start a conversation of opening a fashion boutique. Both women at one point in their life believed that mothers couldn’t dress fashionable or sexy.

The idea of erasing the stigma of “mom clothes” and how mother’s

It’s an unspoken glow that radiates from within. All woman are familiar with this feeling. With a void in the market for clothing that fits this lifestyle, Glow wanted to inspire others by curating a special assortment that helps all women to feel like they are their best self every time they get dressed.

To contact Glow Fashion email customerservice@glowfashion.com

relate to that amazing feeling you get when you’ve nailed your outfit.

{ GLOW FASHION } “ The power of YOUR outfit comes down to your personal taste and style. It could be that you feel most powerful when you are wearing something comfortable.”

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the

POWER of an outfit www.glow-fashion.com

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@glowfashionboutiques

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{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE }

ADDING MORE COLOR TO YOUR LIFE

BY LISA WAGNER

How Creativity and Color Can Change Your Vibration

Adding more color to your life can change how you feel and how you perceive your current life situation. Being an artist, I am graced with being surrounded by possibilities to create vibrancy into my space and my daily life. It’s what I DO. Having been an office manager and bookkeeper in my life before full-time artist status, color wasn’t normally part of the work grind. It left me feeling depleted and in a state of lack. Color has brought life to my being in a way that nothing else really did before (minus my loved ones, of course!). So, how can it change your life, even in the most difficult of times?

One of my work joys is teaching art to experienced creatives all the way to novices. The one common thread for them is having a “fear of color.” There is a boldness to using highly pigmented paints without reservation. Most folks need is a gentle nudge to overcome that fear. Once they venture into using color, there’s rarely anyone who turns back permanently. They begin to realize that just by applying their paints, they had a hit of dopamine. Their energy increases, as does their vibration. The smiles are a mile wide, even if they felt trepidation in the application or with my instruction. It somehow has a healing quality for them in areas where they were lacking self-confidence or even a feeling a joy regularly.

When I teach intuitive painting, students are instructed to choose colors that make their hearts happy just by looking at them.

There is no requirement for them to work well together or have a commonality. That’s wonderfully secondary. What is required 404

is that they have a deep satisfaction in their choices as they’re opening the jar and placing it on their palettes. It’s so fun to start the class this way! Everyone marvels at the other’s choices and how they strangely always work together. Often, we may have never imagined using that palette selection and end up falling in love with them, too.

It’s always lovely food for thought!

When students come in fearful of applying their necessary colors, my job is many times to talk them off the color ledge first. We forget that nothing material-wise in art is that precious. They can always be repurposed or reworked. So, why the fear? In my own observations and inquiry with my students, it is usually related to the thought that they might mess it up. What if it’s wrong or looks like nothing in their heads? What

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if there’s no going back once it’s on the substrate? Oddly enough, those “mess ups” pan out to be some of the prettiest bits of their work. They also show growth and a beautiful willingness to at least get in the arena. Most folks prefer to play it small and go unscathed. Art doesn’t allow for that. Thank goodness!

As children, that box of 64 crayons or that outfit filled with every color under the sun attracted us like bees to honey. I actually loved rainy summer days so that I could use those crayons and every marker known to man. I would spend the entire day making animals in every color and then outline them in the opposite color. I’d sometimes lose track of the day or even stopping to eat because I was lost in the joy it brought me. It’s a wonder why we lose that playful attitude towards creativity.

Why in the world would we want to push that away when it was part of our voice and our purest essence?

That necessary evil of growing up plays a huge role in the hibernation of our truest selves. I’m just not so sure it’s healthy or a balanced way to live.

I first began back at my art once my son was born. I had been out of the art loop for about 12 years and missed it desperately. I could tell that I was missing a huge chunk of my soul. How could I tell my children it’s important to be creative when I wasn’t living my own truth? This is what prompted me to take a course through our local continuing education program at nights. My first pieces were timid and devoid of any real color. I was oddly afraid to use my paints. What if I ruined that piece of paper? What if others in the class or my instructor wondered what the heck I was doing in this class? Who did I think I was to call myself “creative?” That sneaky Imposter Syndrome was alive and

{ TRAVELING WITH ROCHESTER WOMAN }

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{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE } “In life, it is crucial for us to creatively add that full spectrum of colorful presence in our lives, even if we just dip a toe in at first.”

well. Fortunately, I was blessed with the kindest instructor and classmates anyone could ask for. Judy Soprano changed the course of my life in a positive and profound way. She taught me that it’s just paper and that I was here to create and carve out a special time just for me. As the mom of five kids, she understood the demands on me as a new mom. She also understood that I was scared to come out of my protected little corner. She prodded me with gentle critiques, showing me all that I had done well. Areas where I was unafraid to use color.

and human being. If I didn’t help everyone solve all that ailed them, I was a terrible at life. Why I needed to do this is a whole other article. What I do know is, it never served me or the people I was believed I was helping. It deprived me of living in color and deprived my loved ones of me working to be my highest self. Plus, it doesn’t help others to do their own work in a way that honors them and their hearts.

Subsequent instructors nudged me more, until I finally began my love affair with bold applications and trying hard subjects or new mediums. This is what has allowed me to instruct others through their own journeys into color and pouring their hearts out on their canvas. It’s a sacred and heart-healing process. Each student is guided either through inner guidance or something greater than themselves. I have seen students who are struggling with depression, health issues, shyness, family or work situations come out of each class feeling more whole and stronger than when they walked in. Their color choices also tend to speak to where they are in their lives and help me guide them through their work.

When we grind for so long as adults and especially women, doing all that is expected of us, being the best at everything for fear others will think less of us, it leaves us unhappy, stressed and out of alignment.

Life spins out of control while we rush around trying to “fix” all of it. How do I know this? Because I’m a chronic fixer. If my life didn’t model Martha Stewart’s, I thought that I had failed as a wife, mother 406

light in. When light shines through the darkness, color appears. There is an actual safety and trusting in that when we allow. I think of all the times I was operating from fear, whether it be from my resistance to adding color to my work or being afraid of a new art form or social situation. I had built solid resistance. It took time and coxing from loved ones to help me see that the light was just waiting on me to allow its presence in my life, illuminating the spectrum of colorful joy I was missing by not jumping in the arena with a willingness to get beat up a little bit so that I could be lined in gold.

In life, it is crucial for us to creatively add that full spectrum of colorful presence in our lives, even if we just dip a toe in at first. Once we see that it’s safe to wade in, we open ourselves to new possibilities and learning opportunities that help our hearts to grow so that they may be of service to others. We can focus on giving instead of getting and passing on that light that adds delight to another person’s life, helping that positive ripple to reach those still locked in their own cell, devoid of life. When I am teaching, it is a moment of service that is invaluable to the person in front of me as they apply blissful color to their canvas.

Creativity and color help reveal to us what it is we are here to see and heal. In Japan, when clay or ceramic pieces break, they use gold to repair them. The pieces are then considered more beautiful and valuable.

When we have cracks in our own veneer and allow them to become an integral part of who we truly are, that’s where we let the

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When you decide this for yourself and that you are worthy of living out loud by adding color to the canvas of your life, the flood gates of abundance open up for you to savor and spread into the universe. In art or in life, when we focus on what is going right, we get more of that so that we may share it with others. It’s a colorful force that can change the world.

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{ ASK THE DOCTOR }

PIRIFORMIS SYNDROME

BY LARRY PESHKIN

Piriformis syndrome, first described in 1928, arises when a hypertonic or irritated piriformis muscle compresses the proximal sciatic nerve. This pressure may cause symptoms such as radiating pain, numbness, tingling, or local inflammation and pain.

The piriformis muscle originates on the anterolateral surface of the midportion of the sacrum (tail bone) and inserts on the superior medial aspect of the greater trochanter on the femur. When the hip is extended, the piriformis functions primarily as an external rotator of the thigh, with secondary contributions toward flexion. The muscle also assists in abduction when the hip is flexed to 90 degrees. The sciatic nerve has a variable relationship to the piriformis muscle. In the majority of the population, the sciatic nerve travels deep to the muscle. Approximately one fourth of the population is anatomically predisposed to piriformis syndrome because their sciatic nerve passes through the muscle, splits the muscle or both.

Sound familiar? More commonly this is diagnosed under the general category of sciatica. In our Irondequoit practice, this can account for about 20% of our

patients and may be seen in over a third of our low back patients.

Piriformis syndrome shares several common characteristics and may even co-exist with other lumbopelvic problems which can include hip pathology, fracture, lumbar compression fracture, discitis, trochanteric bursitis, sacroilitis, sacroiliac joint dysfunction, lumbar radiculopathy, spinal stenosis . So what causes Piriformis Syndrome?

The piriformis muscle becomes hypertonic and inflamed from

either trauma or being overworked from mechanical restrictions in the low back, sacrum, and pelvis.

Many of these cases arise from a mechanical imbalance that has gone for a matter of weeks or months without any therapeutic management. From there the inflamed muscle can irritate the sciatic nerve causing numbness and radiating pain.

Ok, so how can It be fixed? Issues

that are mechanical in nature can often times be fixed with mechanical treatment, including but not limited to chiropractic, deep tissue massage, and physical therapy. In my professional opinion, I usually recommend it in that order. Deep tissue massage will not only break up the adhesion causing muscle hypertonicity but help the muscle function the way it needs to. Chiropractic care will help restore and promote proper joint function and also ease any tension on joints and connective tissue as well as restoring balance to your body mechanics.

Finally, physical therapy will restore the relationship between the muscles and joints to help strengthen the injured body part and prevent reinjury. Surprisingly, we have a very high success rate with these kinds of treatments.

Obviously, the best option is to prevent this from happening in the first place. Drink water. And I’m not talking a glass of water in the morning, I’m saying drink at LEAST one liter of water a day. Move. Movement builds strength. Strength will prevent injury. Building strength is as easy taking a walk several times a week. Other activities include

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GENTLE & HEALING CHIROPRACTIC CARE

Achieve the healthy, active life that you have been missing

2164 HUDSON AVE., ROCHESTER, NY 14617 585-467-7070 I WWW.IRONDEQUOITCHIROPRACTIC.COM

{ THE SUITE LIFE }

GRAND CRU BEAUTY Kate Ford is the owner if Grand Cru Beauty located in Suite 3 of Prime Salon & Spa Suites.

full set sends the client home with an aftercare bag with all the

Kate is new to the beauty industry having graduated from Continental Beauty School’s Esthetics program in 2018.

To m a k e a n appointment to visit Grand Cru Beauty visit www. grandcrubeauty.com.

Also check out Instagram kateford585 for a portfolio of Kate’s work!

Kate also has a bachelor’s degree in business administration from Cleveland State University.

Cheers!

She incorporates her hospitality background in her esthetics work by making every client feel pampered and that they are the most important!

Kate offers lash extensions that are customized to each client using classic and or volume techniques. Kate also believes that having great lashes is a 2 way street, and with every 412

Kate also offers special occasion makeup, using airbrush makeup techniques. Also available at Grand Cru Beauty--waxing and spray tanning.

products the make them last the longest between fills!

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THE SUITE LIFE } } { {SHIFT+CONTROL

ELIZABETH LEMMER I have enjoyed over 14 years as a hair stylist and salon manager, salon market education in corporate salons.

control over my work life balance, that led me to exploring salon

I am able to deliver individualized service such as sensory friendly salon for all individuals. I offer customized coloring techniques, haircuts, perming, waxing, and up styling.

At age 2 my son started to not hit all of his developmental mile stones and I was expecting my second child.

My s o n w a s diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and severe sensory processing disorder.

He found i t e x t re m e l y overwhelming to be in a salon with noises, smells, and lighting. I felt compelled to find a fit for him and also for me. After his diagnosis and the arrival of my daughter.

I felt compelled to find the right fit for us as a family. I wanted to be able to continue my career but have

salon environment to anyone in a controlled customized salon suite.

I find it so fulfilling knowing that my journey has led me to this next chapter of salon suite life.

rental.

I enjoy now being able to offer ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER EDITION 2019

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THE SUITE LIFE } } { {SHIFT+CONTROL

PERFECT 10 NAILS Nicole has always had a passion for the beauty industry. Growing up Nicole’s older sister was a cosmetologist and she wanted to follow in her footsteps. In 2016 Nicole graduated from Shear Ego with her certification in nail technology.

only Nicole gives the working woman a chance to work their

Nicole is located at 301 exchange Blvd. suite 6 located in Prime Salon and Spa Suites lower level.

You can book with her by going to www. primesuitesrochester. com and clicking on her suite.

After 2 1/2 years of working as a nail tech Nicole decided to get her esthetics license so her clients could come to a one stop shop.

Nicole enrolled in Continental and got her certification in esthetics. Nicole owns the award winning Perfect 10 Nails. Nicole loves that her clients come to where they can relax in a clean inviting atmosphere.

By booking by appointment 414

Nicole is the winner of the 2018 ROCAWARDS best Nail Tech in Rochester.

appointments into their schedule which creates appointments with little to no wait time.

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