Rochester Woman Online November 2023 Edition by Rochester Woman Online

NOVEMBER 2023

SEPT/OCT 2023

NOVEMBER EDITION

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REGULARS 212

REGULARS

234

WOMAN TO WATCH Dr Ashley Cross Kathy Mincer

294

HER EDGE

270

I’M NOT THAT GIRL ANYMORE

190

KIM IS MANIFESTING

258

QUEEN OF ARTS Trina Bruno

132

BOSSY

168

BEHIND THE LENS

208

BLACK WOMEN VOICES

258

CNY ENTREPRENEUR ReikiRoma

222

ONE TOUGH MOTHER

198

LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT Love Fern Bakery Vita Bella Organic Salon

310

THE LORI FACTOR

180

WOMAN ON THE RISE Toni of RocHaus Collective

HEALTH & WELLNESS 248

WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? A’Donnis Howard

236

WOMAN ON THE RISE ZONTA of Rochester

278

WARRIOR WOMEN

204

WOMAN WHO INSPIRES Stephanie Woodward

304

MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE

244

ANIMAL CARE CORNER

144

CHAMPIONING INCLUSIVITY Cobblestone Arts Center

151

SPECIAL FEATURE Businesses of Perinton Square

138 76 322 314 268 282 226

LONEGVITY

318

PASSION MENTOR

MINUTES MATTER LIFE IN BALANCE MENTALLY THINKING MENOPAUSE MINUTE COACHING WITH KAREN HEALTHY WOMAN

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178

16 COVER STORY Anarsha O’Mealy

34 CNY INFLUENCERS The Ingrams

50 IN HER OWN WORDS Gina Gingello

83 SPECIAL SECTION Eat & Drink in the ROC

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{ FROM THE PUBLISHER }

Dear Readers,

Welcome to the November 2023 edition of Rochester Woman Online Magazine! This month’s cover is graced by the phenomenal Anarsha O’Mealy, a serial entrepreneur and beauty mogul whose journey and accomplishments serve as an inspiration to us all. Her story exemplifies the spirit of empowerment and resilience that characterizes the women we feature in this issue. This edition is packed with special sections highlighting the vibrant gastronomic scene in the ROC, offering tantalizing insights into the best places to eat and drink. Additionally, we delve into the businesses of Perinton Square, showcasing the innovative ventures and success stories within this thriving community. We take pride in spotlighting remarkable women, from local entrepreneurs to business leaders, sharing their insights, tips, and invaluable information sourced from our local experts. Moreover, our editorial team has curated a myriad of exciting events that you won’t want to miss - a testament to the dynamic energy of our city’s culture. Are you or someone you know a standout woman deserving of recognition? Do you have a business you’d like to promote in our next edition? Reach out to us today! Rochester Woman Online Magazine is dedicated to championing and celebrating the achievements of extraordinary women while providing a platform for businesses to shine. Thank you for being part of our community and for supporting the incredible women and businesses that make Rochester a vibrant and inspiring place. Sincerely, With gratitude and inspiration,

Kelly Breuer

Publisher, Rochester Woman Online Magazine

T T ON OUR COVER Our November 2023 cover woman, Anarsha O’Mealy was photographer by Christopher “Goodknews” Cardwell at locations around Rochester, NY and from her local offices.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023

Help YWCA Deliver Gifts & Smiles For The Holidays! It’s time for Adopt-A-Family! Brighten the holidays for the women and famlies we serve. Wish lists are available for adoption here:

Your generosity enables YWCA of Rochester & Monroe county to continue our 140-year legacy of addressing systemic issues of racial and gender equalities, while acting fast when women and families need the security of safe, affordable housing.

{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }

PUBLISHER FREELANCE EDITORS CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER PHOTOGRAPHY

Kelly Breuer Marisa Zeppieri Kelly Breuer Christopher “Goodknews” Cardwell Sandy Arena Robyn Baty Andrea Westerlund Greg Quail

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

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Lisa Ireland Nicole Doyley Dave Schantz Karen Messina Nicole Overcamp Chance Lowry Lisa Wagner Dr Ashley Cooper Dr Tunya Griffin Karen Messina Christine Piacentino Lori Bruton Karen Putz Bonnie Floyd Sandy Arena Kelly Metras Laura Ponticello Kim Fisher Kaitlyn Vitozzi Sheryl Vega Andrea Westerlund

Robin DeWind Gina Gingello Desire Cruz Kathy Mincer LS Fitzgerald A’Donnis Howard Denise “Karma” Clifford Lorene Benson

Kelly Breuer

SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR

Network Rochester

WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT

Network Rochester

Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the Greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www.rochesterwomanonline.com. The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2022 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.

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YOU ANARSHA ARE ENOUGH. O’MEALY BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I“GOODKNEWS” PHOTOS BY NSPCARDWELL STUDIO PHOTOS BY CHRISTOPHER

Unveiling the Layers of Entrepreneurial Brilliance Rochester Woman Online is thrilled to present an exclusive cover story featuring the extraordinary Anarsha O’Mealy, a trailblazing serial entrepreneur whose journey from beauty mogul to real estate investor has been nothing short of inspiring. In this in-depth interview, Anarsha shares her insights, challenges, and the remarkable milestones that have defined her remarkable career. Anarsha, could you share about your upbringing and background? My family hails from Jamaica, and I am a firstgeneration American. Growing up in Rochester within a traditional household, my parents upheld strict standards and had high expectations. While it was challenging, I came to value the structure and discipline instilled in me. I have always had a strong connection to my roots. I’ve always admired how my parents were able to come into this country, not being familiar with the culture or lifestyle and blindly yet somewhat strategically step into the unknown. I intentionally try to make stepping into the unknown a norm. Especially in areas that I know promotes growth. My families entrepreneurial spirit and ability to take major risks has always been my 16

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guiding light. Have you always had a natural inclination towards leadership and entrepreneurship from a young age? I’ve always known I didn’t fit in and I always stood on what I thought was the direction I should go in even if it contradicted popular opinion. I have been introverted and pretty quiet all my life. Yet, no did not always know that I was a leader. I always been creative, self-motivated and individualistic. I think the things

I’ve always expressed myself artistically and been a creative. For as far back as I remember I was braiding hair, drawing or engaged in some other artistic pursuit. I had a full clientele from an early age but I didn’t realize I was actually running my first business. It was initially just for fun and a creative outlet for me. Creating, building and expanding is what keeps me going. I would say I chose the entrepreneurial path for the freedom to do so and limitless possibilities. I prefer entrepreneurship because it doesn’t put me in a restrictive box when it comes to my daily tasks. It’s also doesn’t put a ceiling on your growth and expansion potential. I feel like I have to constantly learn new skills, being in business allows you to be a lifelong student. Can you share the moment when you first achieved a six-figure income? How did that milestone impact your life and career?

I created whether it be a design in someone’s hair or a beautiful relaxing space is what attracted the attention of others. The leadership skills came later in life as I had to create systems and a team in business. What inspired you to start your entrepreneurial journey, and when did you realize it was the right path for you?

I have worked in quite a few salons before branching out on my own. My first space was actually in the living room of a small apartment I had at the time and this was where I achieved my first six-figure year. When I realized I was making over $100,000 I knew it was time to get a storefront. The business has outgrown the space and I wanted to separate my personal and business spaces. I

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“I think aspiring

entrepreneurs should always CHALLENGE themselves by placing themselves in environments that encourage GROWTH. This is often uncomfortable but there are great rewards on the OPPOSITE side of discomfort. 20

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”

{ SHIFT+CONTROL { COVER STORY } } “I’ve always known I didn’t fit in and I always stood on what I thought was the direction I should go in even if it contradicted popular opinion”

I was making six figures for quite a while before I told anyone. Outside of opening my first salon, initially my lifestyle did not change. I was pouring all my earnings back into the business. I’m the early years I believe that maintaining a low-expense lifestyle can make or break success. Even on the long term assets should significantly outweigh liabilities and cover any liability costs. As a successful entrepreneur, especially being a minority woman leader, what advice do you have for others aspiring to reach a similar level of financial success? I would say you can create and materialize any vision you have in mind for yourself or your company. If you have a burning desire to realize a goal, it can be done! Focus, discipline and keeping your vision at the forefront of your mind daily will get you there. You don’t have to have it all figured out along the way. The answers will come as you collaborate with others, research and continue to gain knowledge in your field and stay grounded in your purpose. However, It definitely requires daily work. I would say create the routine that works for you and try to have a list of daily tasks that you need to complete everyday. An accumulation of small wins make a huge impact. Discipline and determination are the major keys. The first stages of building may require lifestyle changes. For me prayer, vision boards, in-taking daily motivational content, reading and sacrificing regular entertainment were some of the things

I had to incorporate into my lifestyle. You’re also known for creating Slay Beauty Bar. How did this idea come to fruition, and what makes it unique in the beauty industry? Slay Beauty Bar which have now evolved into Slay Beauty Suites was my first salon. I wanted to create an attractive space where clients could come and relax, meet with other professionals and get transformational hair and beauty services. My goal was to not only have them leave looking better but also delivering a feeling of overall wellness by the end of a Slay Experience. We also have modern equipment and booking systems that make the client experience seamless as well as current. In line with our commitment to fostering growth and innovation, we have transitioned to providing suite rental options for beauty professionals. Our newest location is in Henrietta and will be comprised of beauty rental spaces, creating a collaborative environment that fosters entrepreneurship and creativity. In your journey, what have been some of the most significant challenges you’ve faced as an entrepreneur, and how did you overcome them? In the beginning it was challenging for me to delegate tasks, especially in things I was good at because I wanted things done in a certain way and I didn’t know how to put people in place or even ask for help when I needed it. Initially it was challenging for me because in many ways your business is a part of you so

you want it to reflect you and what you have in mind at all times. With time I’ve learned, in order to scale, create balance and have an effective business putting people in place is crucial. Another challenge in the beginning was eliminating distractions. When you’re in the process of building or scaling a business the ability to focus in on your goals is a major component in your success. Although complete balance is something we all are pursuing but varies based on the individual, managing distractions and keeping people, places and things around you that are in line with your ultimate vision is certainly beneficial. Could you share a specific instance where you had to adapt and pivot in your career, and how did it affect your business? A few years back managing all the properties, being a full time hairstylist, managing the salon and having a healthy balanced personal life consumed most of my time. When I retired from being a hands-on hairstylist into full-time management of the businesses, the transition was a huge transformation for me. I had to remove myself from being physically at the Salon to taking care of the daily tasks and operations from behind the scenes. Clients were used to seeing me at the location and when you’re present onsite it was easier to make sure the vibe and quality of service was regulated. I had to learn how create systems and hire new staff to accommodate the change. As an entrepreneur you need to know and take ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 21

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“Rochester is very special to me. I grew up in the city of Rochester and I’ve always felt a need to give back and reinvest into the community played a major role in shaping who I am today” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

e action when it is time to pivot. These changes at the right time can make of break the long-term trajectory of your businesses. You’ve ventured into real estate investing. What led you to diversify your business portfolio in this way? Real estate investing is actually the primary foundation of the businesses. Slay Beauty Bar’s first location was my first real estate investment. I then starting buying residential investments properties after that purchase. I appreciate the equity that’s built over time, renovating and decorating spaces, creating housing for families and providing short term housing for guests. Real estate allows me to be creative as well as connect with others while making passive and long term profit. Unless you strategically create your retirement plan, as an entrepreneur you don’t have everything set up for you. Real estate allows me to create additional streams of income that will support not only the present but the future. Real Estate also allows me to provide spaces and services for others which is an impact that provides long lasting value. It’s really about helping others. As an Airbnb host, what tips can you offer to others looking to be successful in the short-term rental business? 1. Understand your target audience and local rental market to determine demand and pricing. 2. Familiarize yourself with local regulations and zoning laws to ensure 22

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compliance with rental property rules.

landscape.

3. Ensure your property is wellmaintained, aesthetically pleasing, clean, and equipped with essential amenities to attract guests.

Tell us about your experiences and insights into being a successful businesswoman in Rochester. What makes this city special for you?

4. Create a strong online presence through platforms like Airbnb, VRBO, etc. to reach a wide audience of potential guests.

Rochester is very special to me. I grew up in the city of Rochester and I’ve always felt a need to give back and reinvest into the community played a major role in shaping who I am today. A lot of my mentors, colleagues, friends and professional network are Rochester natives.

5. Provide exceptional customer service, clear communication, and a seamless booking process to encourage positive reviews and repeat bookings. 6. Set competitive and dynamic pricing based on demand, seasonality, and local events to maximize profitability. 7. Understand that it’s semi-passive. Consider hiring a property manager or using property management software to handle bookings, guest communication, and maintenance tasks efficiently if you don’t plan on investing a lot of your time in the business. You’re a registered minority womenowned entrepreneur. How has this status influenced your business and your mission? Being registered as a Minority WomenOwned business allows the business to have access to grants, contracts and networking opportunities that we may not have connected with otherwise. We took this extra step because it of the increased visibility but also being a proud women led business owner I would like to highlight the importance of diversity and inclusivity in the entrepreneurial

Being familiar with some of the financial challenges, lack of exposure to resources and poverty rates in the city of Rochester motivates me to be a contributor to positive change. I like to help others in any way I can whether it’s providing education about the home buying process, providing an employment opportunity, connecting them to resources or simply providing a space or beauty service. What does a typical day in your life look like as a multifaceted entrepreneur and CEO? Most days can be pretty involved. With tasks layered on from managing multiple entities I have to schedule in downtime, self-care and create a rhythm that allows operations to flow. My mornings are substantial as they set the time for the day. I typically have a quiet moment of reflection, meditation, intention setting and prayer before making phone calls, checking emails or responding to any of the days messages.

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COVER STORY }} { LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } { { SHIFT+CONTROL

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“I also understand that not all beauty professionals have the desire, flexibility or resources to travel but I think social media has certainly bridged the gap in exposure.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

I have a conversation with my parents every morning before getting into the business routines for any given day. As I get into the business portion of things there is alot that goes on behind the scenes. Most of my obligations are clerical. However, occasionally you can catch me involved in hands on operations like assembling furniture, installing a chandelier, designing an accent wall or drawing the layout for a new project. I’m pretty multifaceted and over time I’ve learned to do things in contracting, design or programming that I wouldn’t have expected to become a part of my skillset as a byproduct of being in real estate investing or business.

I also understand that not all beauty professionals have the desire, flexibility or resources to travel but I think social media has certainly bridged the gap in exposure. Personally, I try to tailor the content I engage in so it aids in introducing me to new ideas.

What motivates you to keep pushing forward during tough times, both in your personal life and business? I feel that I am obligated to succeed and I believe that I have been created to maximize my potential on earth to the best of my ability. Being centered in the belief that a part of my purpose is to help others, inspire and be a bright light keeps me going. No matter what happens I stand firm in my “Why?”. When you’re rooted in purpose you must stay aligned with your inner calling. Challenges may arise but returning to and remembering your bottom line is key. Unwavering faith.

The beauty industry is highly competitive. How do you stay innovative and ahead of the curve in this field? In the beauty industry I believe it is important to attend hair shows, seminars, pay attention to trends on social media and network with experts in the field. I continuously travel to different cities/countries to broaden my perspective of the past, present and future of beauty. Paris happens to be one of my favorite.

internal creativity and wide-ranging mind. Some of the most captivating beauty trends were birthed from visionaries with natural gifts and insight.

Professional furthering education courses are also important. Outside of this, I think that being creative in the beauty industry can be stemmed from a persons natural gifts,

It is this generations responsibility to lay the framework so our successors can be better. There are more opportunities available now than ever before. If you feel like there’s more in you or you have a vision to behold. The pain of not seizing opportunities or taking even a small step in that direction can be more crippling than the challenges ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 27

{ COVER STORY }

“Being a part of this moment in time makes me happy. I appreciate the opportunity for this interview.” on the way to realizing your dream. What makes you happy? Outside of pursuing growth, goals and purpose my family is very important to me. Pouring into family, friendships and being a positive impact in any given persons’ day that I encounter makes me happy. Some of my personal interests include travel, fashion, spa days and spending time with my yorkie-poo are great pastimes that brings me joy. I am also pretty adventurous, when my friends want to explore a new site or city, take a helicopter to have champagne 28

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in the middle of the Grand Canyon or try a new restaurant with exotic foods, I’m the one. I enjoy learning and new experiences. I am thankful to be granted an opportunity at life during the season that we’re in, the world is progressing in many ways more than ever before and becoming more connected. The possibilities are endless. Being a part of this moment in time makes me happy. I appreciate the opportunity for this interview.

Anarsha N. O’Mealy Stush International Properties 346 East Ridge Road Rochester NY, 14621 www.Anarsha.com (585) 576-7364 https://www.airbnb.com/users/ show/27530277 Slay Beauty Bar LLC. 346 East Ridge Road Rochester NY, 14621 Www.Slaybeautybarny.com (585) 576-7364

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MEET

EVELYN & CHINO INGRAM

Meet two of Central New York’s power influencers, creators of The Castle 603 and The Ingram Castle Foundation, The Ingrams. Let’s see what they had to say about their non-profit, transforming a Syracuse landmark, and more!

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“This is a great story! It all started when Chino and I were looking for a unique venue in which to stage my birthday party.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Could you share a bit about your backgrounds and what inspired you to venture into the project of transforming The Castle. The Castle project is very personal for us. Chino was born two doors down from the church and played in its parking lot as a young child. I have been in Syracuse since college graduation and have made Syracuse my home. Both Chino and I feel a strong sense of belonging to the Southside and are passionate about improving the community by reviving this abandoned landmark that played such an important role in the history of the Southside. We have complementary backgrounds that couldn’t be better suited for The Castle. I have a marketing, human resources, and business background. For the last several years, I have served as Director of Community Relations for the Syracuse Region of Wegmans Food Markets, overseeing activities in the community investment and media relations arenas and serving as the company’s regional spokesperson. Chino’s career has been in retail management with oversight of store operations, sales targets, and personnel management for national retail chains including Saks Fifth Avenue and Men’s Warehouse. Currently, he is the General Manager of a custom men’s clothing store called Mr. Shop at Turning Stone. Chino attended Cheyney State University, a historically black college in Pennsylvania. I am a graduate of both Syracuse University’s Newhouse School of Communications and Le Moyne College’s Madden School of

Business. I also received an honorary degree from Onondaga Community College to recognize accomplishments in the community. Both Chino and I are very active with many initiatives and nonprofits in the community. Together we founded Simply Ingram, LLC in 2020 for the purpose of restoring and transforming the South Presbyterian Church into The Castle as a successful and sustainable business venture. I will oversee event planning and Chino will manage all operations. The Ingram Castle Foundation was also established as a

wedding was a complete surprise to all guests (including our families and the minister). We looked at event spaces that would be well suited for both the birthday party and the wedding. We found a location about 30 minutes from Syracuse. It was a church that was renovated into event space. During that process, both Chino and I wished there was a venue with this uniqueness in Syracuse. A few months after our nuptials, we saw a television story that mentioned a church, formerly known as the South Presbyterian church was for sale by the Greater Syracuse Land Bank. We instinctively looked into each other’s eyes and knew they needed to buy and develop this eloquent building. In July 2020, we signed a contingent purchase agreement with the Land Bank and renamed it ‘The Castle’ because of its regal appearance. Can you describe your vision for The Castle and its role in bringing the community together?

501c3 entity with the vision of being a regional training center. What drew you to the historic church in Syracuse as the location for The Castle? This is a great story! It all started when Chino and I were looking for a unique venue in which to stage my birthday party. During the planning process, we decided to get married at the birthday party. The

Our vision is to restore and transform this grand, 30,000 square foot building into a multipurpose event and training center that will sustain a successful, Black-owned business while creating new jobs for people where they live, helping lift the Southside’ economy, and serving as a resource for local nonprofits and residents. Like the church did in the past, The Castle will be a meeting place for people of all backgrounds from across and beyond the Central New York region. It will fill an event space gap in the market with an inviting, historic building that will draw interest ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 35

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“The business of running a business is hard and often underestimated. Find businesses that align with your values and align yourself with them.”

from individuals, organizations, and businesses that have never patronized the Southside, bringing renewed attention to the community and local businesses. A vision should build upon the experiences of the past, so let’s talk about The Castle’s history. During the Civil Rights era, the church was a safe haven and spiritual retreat for Blacks migrating from the south. Later, it served as a sanctuary where individuals of all religions and backgrounds were welcomed and came together. In the 1960’s, although many buildings on the Southside were razed as part of what was called ‘urban renewal,’ this grand church survived. Over time, the church could not be sustained by a declining, impoverished Black congregation. In an effort to save the building, it was sold to a treasure hunter whose sole interest was to remove and sell its Tiffany stained glass windows and chandeliers. This church, which once was a landmark in the hearts of generations of people who lived in the area was shattered and left to deteriorate for nearly 20 years. Thankfully, the church was purchased by the Greater Syracuse Land Bank in 2015, which successfully advocated for its placement on the National Registry of Historic Places. That’s where Chino and I came in. We entered into a purchase agreement with the Land Bank and, fast forward, have been able to raised several millions in grants, contracts, and contributions toward The Castle’s restoration costs. We understand The Castle is a multiuse facility; could you elaborate on

the various community-centered activities it will host? The Castle business will consist of elegant event space in what was the church sanctuary, a sophisticated public lounge, and a community training and development center called The Ingram Castle Foundation (TICF). The 9,000 square foot event space will host a variety of events including receptions, galas, conferences, plays, and concerts. The lounge will occupy 5,200 square feet and offer entertainment options in a casual yet classy atmosphere, providing opportunities to network, relax, be entertained, and socialize in an ultralounge atmosphere. The Ingram Castle Foundation (TICF), will occupy the entire lower level of the building and will have eight fully equipped conference rooms for use by nonprofit organizations to provide job and personal health and training programs for area residents. The purpose of The Ingram Castle Foundation is to provide education, training and community outreach initiatives that directly impact the residents of the South Side of Syracuse and other community members. The Ingram Castle Foundation is to be a regional training center that will offer training courses aligned with many of the skills needed for employment at The Castle including customer service skills, culinary skills, bartender techniques, project management, event planning etc. Other courses offered will be CPR training, Fire Safety and Security skills. TICF will be known for offering value added training courses that community members can use to enhance their personal and professional lives. The Ingram Castle

Foundation is an avenue for health and wellness initiatives with emphasis on diseases that disproportionately affect people of color. When do you anticipate The Castle will realistically be up and running and available to the community? The current schedule is to begin construction in the second quarter of 2024 and to open The Castle’s doors for business in the summer of 2025. What fundraising initiatives do you have in place or plan to implement to support The Castle’s development? I’m so glad you asked! We invite everyone to join us on New Year’s Eve at 8:00 pm for a “A Royal Met Gala.” Come in your Met Gala inspired attire and let’s bringing in the New Year with style and sophistication. We are thrilled that celebrity host Trina Braxton of WE tv’s “Braxton Family Values” will serve as celebrity host for the gala. The gala will be at the Oncenter Convention Center in Syracuse. Visit the event website for event information and to purchase tickets “A Royal Met Gala” | December 31, 2023 - January 01, 2024 (eventcreate.com) Can you explain the concept of the Founder’s Circle and how it’s related to The Castle? The Founders Circle is an exclusive sponsorship package designed to foster a collaborative spirit of giving for The Castle project. It provides an opportunity for those who want to financially support

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{{ CNY INFLUENCERS}} SHIFT+CONTROL “It is our desire to give back to the community and build a successful event business all came together when we saw the article about the Land Bank’s sale of the South Presbyterian Church.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

the building’s renovation. Sponsorship benefits are exclusive to donors providing gifts at three associated levels, each with distinct elements of recognition. Givers at each level will be classified as Founders Circle members and have access to different levels and types of membership privileges. I encourage your readers to learn more about the Founders Circle by visiting our website at https://www. thecastle603.com/founders-circle . What inspired the idea for The Castle, and how did you decide on its unique concept? It is our desire to give back to the community and build a successful event business all came together when we saw the article about the Land Bank’s sale of the South Presbyterian Church. It was as if a path has been laid out for us. Just walking through this grand building, we knew we wanted to create a space and offer opportunities fit for royalty and equal in elegance to the historic structure itself. Hence the name, The Castle. In the long term, what is your vision for The Castle and its impact on the community? We view The Castle project as a placebased economic and community development project that will build a sustainable business, create high quality jobs, support the Southside’s economic revitalization, and be a resource for local nonprofits and residents. All while bringing back to life a prominent, highly visible 40

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historic building that will celebrate and help preserve the community’s history and sense of self-renewal. What motivated you to create a space that’s specifically centered around minority ownership and community engagement? As African Americans, we feel strongly that what makes Black history so powerful is that at any point, you can be part of that history by making a difference in your community. To us, making a difference means removing barriers and creating opportunities to move our community forward. It means creating opportunities for other Black residents to pursue their goals and create generational wealth. It also means lifting visible examples of success like The Castle to spur others to embrace opportunities that build wealth and benefit the community. We also feel strongly that it is important to create opportunities for people to come together to enjoy one another and discover their commonalties regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, or ideology. How will The Castle engage with local artists, performers, and creative talents in the Syracuse area? The lounge will feature live entertainment on a consistent basis. This will provide opportunities for local, regional and national talent to perform in an elegant and sophisticated atmosphere. The event space will also provide the capacity for larger events in which performers can showcase

their talent to a larger audience. Are there any collaborations or partnerships you’re planning with local businesses or organizations? We have multiple community collaborators and are continually fostering others. The Greater Syracuse Land Bank has been an essential and welcome collaborator in moving The Castle project toward groundbreaking. CenterState CEO has been a great resource for business guidance. We are working with Syracuse University and Onondaga Community College to create student training opportunities at The Castle in marketing and communications and culinary arts respectively. SUNY’s Educational Opportunity Center is collaborating with us in developing workforce training and development programs. And, the Syracuse Community Health Center, American Heart Association, and American Diabetes Association are all collaborators in developing education programs to improve the health of Southside residents. What challenges have you faced in the process of transforming the historic church into The Castle? The most significant challenges revolved around the COVID pandemic. We embarked on our journey with The Castle project right at the onset of the pandemic. There were many unknown factors that stalled the project. State and federal governments halted new grant opportunities. Foundations

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“The Castle will be a meeting place for people of all backgrounds from across and beyond the Central New York region. “

and corporations redirected giving programs to pandemic-related priorities and individual giving was suppressed for months. Regardless, we remained committed to moving forward and took the time to put together a development team and increased our marketing, community outreach and grant development efforts. Because of these efforts and the team we put together, we were able to complete the schematic designs for the project 2022. A little over a year later, we are entering the final architectural design phase. Could you share some key features or unique aspects of The Castle that set it apart from other venues? First and foremost, The Castle is a grand and stately structure. There’s a tall, 60 square foot tower entrance and three large and stunning stained glass rose windows and an eloquent balcony in the main event space. The building also houses a large pipe organ, one of the first built by the Austin Organ Company in 1905. For any readers who are architecture enthusiasts, the building is a late 19th and 20th century revival/Romanesque church of high style religious architecture with a mix of Picturesque English Romanesque massing, stepped Flemish gables, and rough-cut masonry in the Richardsonian Romanesque style. The Castle is a national historic designation and has a rich history spanning more than twelve decades.

Finally, and importantly, The Castle will offer its patrons an event space unlike any other in size and elegance in the region and a unique upscale lounge featuring local, regional, and national entertainers from a wide variety of genres. From soul to hip hop and from big band to jazz, the lounge will appeal to adults with widely diverse entertainment interests. What are your plans for sustainability and environmentally conscious practices at The Castle? We p l a n t o e n s u r e w e a r e environmentally conscious in all aspects. We will explore ways to demonstrate this commitment when construction starts.

presidents, local foundations, and many other community and civic groups and leaders. We also met with the Southside’s Neighborhood Collaborative about the project and are constantly engaging in one-onone discussions with community residents. Our media and social media efforts and special events like the gala are intended to educate the community about the project and engender the sense that The Castle is for and of the community. We welcome and encourage new collaborations with organizations and individuals. Of course, we strongly encourage participation through financial contributions to our capital campaign.

Are there specific cultural or educational programs that you intend to offer at The Castle?

Are there plans to host events or programs that celebrate the rich history of the church building itself?

We have a plethora of ideas for programming. We will continue to generate ideas throughout the design and construction process. We will reveal these ideas at the appropriate time. Be assured we will offer impactful programs that will appeal to a diverse audience.

Certainly.

How can the community get involved in supporting or participating in The Castle’s activities? Chino and I have been very intentional about engaging the larger community in our vision and plans. We held early meetings with the mayor and other local politicians, CenterState CEO leadership, regional bank

What role does technology play in enhancing the experience at The Castle, if any? The role of technology is critical to this project. We are already in discussion with companies that can assist us to ensure we have the best technology available. From the conference rooms being equipped with the latest audiovisual equipment to the event space having the best sound system available, technology is key. What do the Ingrams do when they aren’t working on this massive project? ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 43

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“In July 2020, we signed a contingent purchase agreement with the Land Bank and renamed it ‘The Castle’ because of its regal appearance.”

This project is a “side gig.” Quite a massive side gig I’ll add. We both have full-time careers which we find rewarding. We also spend time with our son and we enjoy travelling. Could you tell us about any specific 44

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upcoming events or milestones for The Castle that the community can look forward to? We invite everyone to the New Year’s Eve Royal Met Gala at the Oncenter starting at 8 pm. In terms

of milestones, we look forward to the groundbreaking ceremony for the Castle when construction begins; now scheduled for the 2nd quarter in 2024.

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YOU GINA AREGINGELL0 ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUXPHOTOS WILLIAMS PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO BY IGREG QUAIL

Gina Gingello: Unveiling the Depths Beyond the Notoriety Gina Gingello, daughter of the enigmatic Sammy G Gingello, carries an untold story within her. Her childhood resonates with echoes of a father who was more than the shadow cast by the media’s portrayal. In a candid conversation with Rochester Woman Online, Gina takes us on a poignant journey through her life and the poignant legacy of her father. Unveiling Roots and Memories “My name is Gina Gi n g e l l o , a n d m y childhood was a treasure trove of memories,” she begins. Her father, Sammy G Gingello, a figure synonymous with Rochester’s underworld, was more than just the notorious persona depicted in the media. “From the time I could walk, I would go to the gambling joint, run around, and play. My father was my best friend and still is.” Her inspiration to pen “Sammy G: The Untold Story of My Father” stemmed from a profound desire to humanize him. “I wanted people to know him as the father, son, brother, and uncle he was,” she shares, seeking to paint a portrait that transcended public perception. 50

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Father Beyond the Notoriety Amid the public’s perception of her father, Gina saw him differently. “As a father, he was fair and just. He never faced charges related to murder, and he always extended a helping hand to those in need. His roots never left him,” she affirms, highlighting the stark contrast between public portrayal

and personal reality. Reflecting on cherished moments, Gina recalls the invaluable conversations with her father. “He heard me out, allowed me to voice my opinions, but in the end, Dad’s word was final.” Unresolved Mystery and Resilience The unresolved mystery of her father’s murder in 1978 remains a haunting

reality. “Until my last breath, I’ll keep his name alive. I pray someone will be charged with his murder. Not everyone involved has passed away,” Gina laments, her determination to seek justice unwavering. The Writing Journey and Revelations The process of writing the book posed emotional challenges. “Opening old wounds and confronting buried feelings was tough,” she admits. Surprising revelations surfaced during the research, like her father’s artistic talent, winning an art contest—a facet of his life previously unknown to Gina. Her collaboration with the co-writer unearthed layers of her father’s persona that were hidden even to his closest confidants. “Discovering his artistic side shed new light on his multifaceted character,” Gina notes, revealing the complexity beneath the surface of her father’s public image. Legacy and Community Response Since its release, the community’s response to her book has been overwhelming. “An outpouring of love,” she exclaims, indicating the impact her father’s story has had on those who delved into its pages. The book’s reception spurred a ripple effect, inspiring others to share their

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“We can’t rewrite history. Stand by your deceased loved ones and seek closure. Someday, all questions will have their answers.”

stories and memories of Sammy G. “Many reached out, sharing anecdotes that showcased the kindness and generosity my father displayed,” she shares, her voice filled with gratitude for those who came forward to honor her father’s legacy.

it sparked a discourse challenging the one-dimensional narrative constructed around her father. “Dismantling stereotypes and misconceptions has been an unexpected yet gratifying outcome,” she reflects, noting the shift in public perception catalyzed

Personal Battles and Family Dynamics Gina acknowledges the divide within her family regarding her decision to publish the book. “Some supported it, while others opposed it. Yet, it was something I had to do— for myself and especially for my father.”

The book’s reception offered Gina a glimpse into the compassionate side of the public. “Their empathy and understanding despite the controversial subject matter have been a testament to human empathy,” she emphasizes, finding solace in the collective empathy exhibited by those who engaged with her story. Seeking Closure and Moving Forward Gina’s book hasn’t just been a memoir; it’s sparked new discussions and investigations into her father’s unsolved murder. “People are conducting personal research, and I’ve passed information to the Rochester Police Department,” she reveals.

She describes navigating the complexities of family dynamics while delving into her father’s past. “Balancing familial respect and the need to unveil truths was a delicate tightrope walk,” Gina confides, the weight of her words underscoring the intricate emotional terrain she traversed. Confronting Public Perception “The most challenging part was telling the truth about us both,” Gina shares. Her journey involved unveiling raw, unfiltered truths about her life intertwined with her father’s, baring her soul to the public gaze. As the book resonated with readers,

crime hasn’t been easy. “Everyone has their opinions. Writing this book has opened not only people’s eyes but also their hearts,” she reflects.

by her book. Coping with the Legacy Navigating the stigma associated with her father’s prominence in organized

Her hope remains unswayed—she yearns for closure, not just for herself but for her family and her father’s memory. “Someday, all questions will find answers,” Gina asserts, her voice infused with unwavering resolve, a beacon of strength for those in similar quests for closure and truth.

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“Her HOPE remains

unswayed—she yearns for closure, not just for herself but for her family and her FATHER’S memory. “Someday, all questions will find ANSWERS.”

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“Gina’s book hasn’t just been a memoir; it’s sparked new discussions and investigations into her father’s unsolved murder.” A Legacy Beyond Notoriety Offering advice to those grappling with reconciling family history with public perception, Gina emphasizes moving forward. “We can’t rewrite history. Stand by your deceased loved ones and seek closure. Someday, all questions will have their answers,” she shares, imparting wisdom drawn from her personal journey. As the interview draws to a close, Gina extends a heartfelt thank you 58

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to those who’ve supported her on this transformative odyssey—Greg Quail and Melanie Gangarossa. In this feature, Gina Gingello emerges not just as the daughter of a notorious figure but as a beacon of resilience, seeking closure and truth, etching her father’s legacy beyond the confines of public notoriety. Her story stands as a testament to the unyielding power of love, compassion, and the quest for truth.

You can read the full story by purchasing “Sammy “G” The Untold Story of My Father” on amazon, or visiting her at one of her upcoing local book signings or events. Note: Some of the photos were taken on location at the Holiday Inn Downtown Rochester, 70 State St, Rochester NY

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STEHANIE WOODWARD PHOTOS BY ANDREA WESTERLUND & OTHERS

Stephanie, can you start by telling us a bit about yourself and your background as an attorney? I’ve been affectionately labeled a ‘Rochester Boomerang.’ My roots are in Greece, where I was born and raised. I stayed close to home for undergrad, attending St. John Fisher College studying business and English. During my junior year, I had the incredible opportunity to intern for Senator Tom Harkin from Iowa, the driving force behind the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) in Congress. This was a significant honor for me, and I eagerly relocated to Washington, D.C., where I gained valuable insights into the world of politics, Disability Rights, and the responsibilities of adulthood. My time working with Senator Harkin revealed the ongoing challenges that individuals with disabilities face, despite the ADA’s passage in 1990. This revelation ignited my determination to attend law school. I knew that becoming a lawyer would enable me to enforce and expand the rights of people with disabilities, a cause I am deeply passionate about. How did you first become involved with the Disability EmpowHer Network? In November 2020, I had the privilege of co-founding the Disability EmpowHer Network alongside my remarkable friend, Leah Smith, a dynamic leader in the Disability Community. OWe were surrounded by the love and support of countless women with disabilities from across the nation who recognized the importance of our mission and eagerly

joined us in our efforts. What is the core mission and purpose of the Disability EmpowHer Network? Disability EmpowHer Network is a nonprofit run by and for girls and women with disabilities and we empower girls and women with disabilities through mentoring and transformational learning experiences. We recognize that disabled girls have significantly lower high school graduation rates and disabled women have higher unemployment rates than their nondisabled peers. We also know that girls and women with disabilities are less likely to have successful disabled women mentors. Through multi-stage skill-building, empowerment, and

mentoring programs, we address these issues while also empowering disabled young women to live to their fullest potential and have the confidence to lead. Could you elaborate on the educational and employment challenges that disabled girls face, which your organization aims to address? There are so many that it’s hard to know where to start. Here is just a handful of facts that alarm us and motivate us to create change: Studies consistently show us that girls

with disabilities have lower self-cognition and lower self esteem. Disabled girls and women are also more likely to experience depression, isolation, and abuse. In addition to these emotional and psychological hurdles, research findings highlight several other disparities faced by girls and women with disabilities. We tend to have significantly fewer educational opportunities, often experience overprotection during childhood, and encounter difficulties in forming and maintaining quality intimate relationships compared to our non-disabled counterparts. Studies emphasize that girls with disabilities have an increased need for positive adult role models with disabilities, as there is limited visibility of successful disabled women in our culture. Furthermore, there are fewer socially sanctioned roles for women with disabilities within our communities. When it comes to violence, disabled girls and women are at a higher risk of experiencing various forms of violence and abuse, including physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. On the economic front, data consistently reveals that women with disabilities contend with higher rates of unemployment, and those who are employed frequently earn less than their non-disabled peers. These statistics underscore the pressing need for initiatives ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 61

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“I hope that my efforts make it easier for future attorneys with disabilities and for disabled people seeking legal representation.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

aimed at empowering and supporting girls and women with disabilities, addressing the multifaceted challenges they face. What motivated you to specifically work with disabled girls and women in mentoring them? As a young woman with a disability, I had no successful disabled women role models to look up to. I did not see myself represented anywhere. As an adult, I often did not see other women with disabilities leading in many of the spaces that I was in. I was often the only disabled woman in the legal spaces I was in, but even in Disability Rights spaces - the women weren’t leading. I saw that the majority of the workforce in organizations focused on Disability Rights or disability services consisted of women with disabilities but there was a stark contrast when looking at the leadership positions. CEOs, the executive directors, the leadership teams are predominantly occupied by men or nondisabled women. This never made sense to me because disabled women are completely capable of being effective leaders. This led me to ask “What’s going on? Why aren’t we leading?” So I started researching data and statistics about women with disabilities in leadership roles. Delving into research, I scoured through reports on women in leadership positions and those addressing multiply marginalized women, yet found an astonishing absence of information focusing specifically on women with disabilities in leadership roles. Instead, the data I found unveiled unsettling 62

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realities - girls with disabilities face lower high school graduation and college enrollment rates compared to their peers. As girls with disabilities grow up to be disabled women, we’re often unemployed at higher rates and when we are employed, we’re grossly underpaid. These disheartening facts, coupled with my personal experiences of growing up without a disabled woman mentor and feeling isolated in many leadership spaces, served as the driving force behind my commitment to uplifting and empowering girls and women with disabilities. We are fully capable of leadership, and it’s essential that we build a network of support to help us achieve our full potential. Building self-confidence can be challenging. How did you build the confidence to be a leader in a field where disabled attorneys are relatively few? I have had a lot of difficult conversations and spent way too much time trying to educate other lawyers (many who did not want to be educated), and I cannot say that I was always confident doing these things - but I knew that I did not want the things that happened to me to happen to other people with disabilities. I hope that my efforts make it easier for future attorneys with disabilities and for disabled people seeking legal representation. My journey in the legal profession was anything but a smooth ride, thanks to the biases and misconceptions of others in the field. I’ve had clients express their astonishment that I could practice law while using a wheelchair, even though most legal work primarily involves

sitting - a concept that seemed lost on some. I’ve also worked in law firms where the office spaces were anything but accessible, and when I spoke up about issues related to ableism and discrimination, some managing attorneys seemed more interested in reprimanding me than addressing the problems. On top of that, I’ve had mediators pat my head as if I were a child. Throughout all of these challenges, I held onto my self-worth and remained committed to not tolerating unfair treatment. I found myself in countless tough conversations, and I spent way too much time trying to educate fellow lawyers, even when some of them resisted the lesson. I won’t pretend I always felt confident in these moments, but i was driven by my determination to prevent others with disabilities from enduring similar experiences. My hope is that the efforts I’ve made will pave a smoother path for future attorneys with disabilities and for disabled individuals seeking legal representation. Can you share some of the programs and events that the Disability EmpowHer Network offers to girls and women with disabilities? Disability EmpowHer Network currently has 6 programs geared towards disabled women and girls. EmpowHer Camp is a year-long multi-stage skill-building, empowerment, and mentoring program for girls and nonbinary teenagers with disabilities. EmpowHer Camp is made up of a week of camping in the Adirondacks, a yearlong community impact project with support from a disabled woman mentor, then a weeklong reunion trip

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“As a young woman with a disability, I had no successful disabled women role models to look up to. I did not see myself represented anywhere.” to Washington, D.C. the next summer. We have two in-person Rochester-local monthly group meet-ups for disabled girls (EmpowHer Roc) and disabled women (EmpowHer Roc+). EmpowHer Expressions is our virtual public speaking and career coaching program for disabled women. Through a partnership with the Christopher& Dana Reeves Foundation, we uplift the stories and perspectives of women with paralysis in our blogging program called EmpowHer Stories. Lastly, Letter from a Role Model is our mentoring initiative that matches women and girls with disabilities (ages 8 -100) with a successful disabled woman to write them a letter of encouragement. In addition to these 6 programs, we also

partner with the Toledo Museum of Art each June for Disabled Women Make History and Art, which is an art show featuring pieces by disabled women artists. We’re excited to continue to develop more new programs and events for disabled women and girls.

on equipping disabled girls and women with a diverse set of skills. These skills encompass vital areas like effective communication, goal setting, teamwork, decision-making, negotiation, budgeting, cooking, emergency preparedness, and many more.

What kind of skills do you help these young ladies develop to lead independent and successful lives in their communities? Based on our firsthand experiences, we know that disabled women and girls often miss out on the opportunity to cultivate essential life skills, not only for achieving independence but also for becoming leaders. Our programs are intentionally designed to address this gap by focusing

With that said, each participant has different skills they want to develop to be successful, so we focus on helping each of them reach those goals for themselves. We empower them to take charge of their personal growth, nurturing the skills they seek for their own success. Moreover, our dedicated team places a strong emphasis on teaching our participants the concept of ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 63

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SHIFT+CONTROL } { THE{ INFLUENTIAL WOMAN } “Disability EmpowHer Network currently has 6 programs geared towards disabled women and girls. EmpowHer Camp is a year-long multi-stage skill-building, empowerment, and mentoring program for girls and nonbinary teenagers with disabilities.”

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interdependence. We recognize that true independence for anyone includes the support of our communities, whether it comes from family, friends, or other sources. We want each of our participants to have the confidence and knowledge to voice what support they need and how they would like that support. How does Disability EmpowHer Network collaborate with other organizations to achieve its goals? Disability EmpowHer Network collaborates with many different organizations to help achieve our goals and the goals of our partners! Here’s just a few examples of our partnerships: - We partner with the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation to amplify the voices of women and girls with paralysis through our blogging program, EmpowHer Stories. EmpowHer Stories is open to girls and women with paralysis who have a story to tell and want help developing their story. We help women hone in on their ideas and refine their writing. Every month we select three individuals to work with our editor to develop their blog ideas into fully written pieces. Our editor is a proud disabled woman who can provide peer support as well as technical advice throughout the writing and editing process. Once the blog is finished, the piece is sent to the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation to be published on their website. Upon publication, the blogger receives a $100 stipend. Through this program, the Reeve Foundation meets their goals of publishing blogs by people with paralysis and we are able to help

disabled girls and women learn writing and editing skills, uplift their voices on a large platform, and help them to increase their income! The women are able to then further their careers and expand their resumes by sharing their published blogs. - Quantum Rehab, a premier global innovator of consumer-inspired power wheelchairs, partners with us to hire brand ambassadors. Our goal is to help girls with disabilities obtain work opportunities and Quantum Rehab is committed to authenticity in their advertising. Through our partnership, Quantum Rehab has hired three of our teen participants! Quantum Rehab also sponsors our EmpowHer Camp program for teen girls with disabilities and allows us to borrow power wheelchairs during our EmpowHer Camp activities. - Charlee Marie & Me Craft Studio is a local disabled woman owned business that creates incredible products including mugs, water bottles, ornaments, bags, and more. Since we are committed to uplifting disabled women, we proudly order all of our water bottles and other products for our programs and fundraising from Charlee Marie & Me and they generously discount their products for us because they believe strongly in our work. Could you tell us about the impact of COVID-19 on the disabled community and how your organization has adapted to address these challenges? Disability EmpowHer Network came into existence during the pandemic, and while I’ll always be thankful for the time, space, and motivation the

pandemic afforded me to finally kick-start this nonprofit organization, it’s crucial to acknowledge that COVID-19 had far-reaching and profound impacts on our community. People with disabilities faced heightened risks due to underlying medical conditions, living in congregate settings, social and healthcare inequities, and more. We lost many incredible individuals during the pandemic, and the Disability Community endured significant disparities in healthcare and social support during lockdown. For the girls and women in our programs, the pandemic brought about a different kind of struggle – isolation. The feedback from parents who have been involved with Disability EmpowHer Network has been consistent: since the pandemic began, girls with disabilities felt more isolated, more depressed, and a growing need for a connection to someone who truly understands them. These experiences guided our program development and inspired us to launch our ‘Letter from a Role Model’ initiative, a mentoring program that pairs girls with disabilities with successful disabled women who write them letters of encouragement. This initiative provides a unique opportunity for girls with disabilities to connect with and relate to a real-life role model. Our role models are carefully matched with the girls based on their backgrounds, interests, disabilities, and personalities. They share stories of their own challenges in their youth and how they overcame them, filling each letter with encouragement. Receiving an actual letter brought a delightful sense of connection and excitement ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 67

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t to the girls during the pandemic. The letter also serves as a tangible keepsake, a source of inspiration they can turn to whenever they need a confidence boost. While it starts with just one letter, many recipients end up writing back to their role models, kickstarting a meaningful pen pal relationship for mentoring.

to the Greece School Board and her advocacy paid off. Not only was she successful in getting evacuation chairs for her own school, but for the entire school district! Giana’s advocacy Giana’s advocacy will have a long lasting impact on students and staff with disabilities for years to come.

What role does advocacy play in the work of Disability EmpowHer Network, and could you share some recent advocacy efforts or achievements? Advocacy is a fundamental pillar of all our programs. We empower girls and women with disabilities to advocate for themselves and for issues that they care about. Whether it’s advocating for a new plan with your healthcare practitioner or for accommodations at school or for federal legislation - whatever her goal is, we’re here to help her get there.

Another example is Anja. Anja is from Illinois and she was a member of our very first class of EmpowHer Camp. Like Giana, Anja was concerned about school safety - specifically for students with disabilities during active shootings. Anja noted that her own school’s active shooter plans did not account for students with disabilities and she rightfully worried that disabled students would be left behind. Anja decided that she wanted to advocate for legislative change to specifically address the fact that disabled students are seen as afterthoughts when preparing for shootings. She initially wanted to get a federal law passed requiring schools to take action to plan for the needs of students with disabilities during active shooter drills, but when looking into this issue, she found that while we all know this is a problem, no data exists to demonstrate exactly how bad the problem is. She realized that it would be very hard to convince Congress to pass a law without hard data demonstrating why it was necessary. Our young leader - a sixteen year old Sophomore student - decided that she would address this problem by getting the data herself. She partnered with a national disability-led research company and was the lead researcher on a study that interviewed over 390 students with disabilities from across the country and more than 240 teachers and administrators about the plans schools have in place for students with disabilities in case of a school shooting.

Two examples of successful advocacy come to mind immediately for me. Giana is a fifteen year old from Greece, NY who has participated in several of our programs. As a part of EmpowHer Camp she was required to create and complete a community impact project related to emergency preparedness and people with disabilities. Giana recognized that as a wheelchair user she could not evacuate her school during emergency situations because the elevators do not operate and she had to wait for the assistance of first responders before she could get out of the building. For her project, Giana decided to challenge her school community to do better. As a freshman, Giana advocated for her school to get emergency evacuation chairs which are devices that allow a person with a mobility disability to be safely and easily transported down stairs in the event of an emergency. After months of advocating in her school, Giana presented 68

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The results, as you can imagine, were horrifying. Since her paper was published, it’s been downloaded more than 3,000 times. Anja has presented her findings to FEMA and the Administration on Community Living, she’s been featured in national publications for bringing light to this important issue, and just last month, on the International Day of the Girl, Anja was invited to the White House where First Lady Dr. Jill Biden recognized Anja for leading change and shaping a brighter future. How can individuals and businesses support your mission and get involved with your organization? We’re all about inclusivity and building connections. We offer a diverse range of opportunities for you to get involved, and we’re always thrilled to welcome individuals who share our passion for making a difference. If you’re a girl or woman with a disability, you can apply for or join any of our programs that resonate with you. We’re also always on the lookout for new volunteers to join our committees, participate in our events, become EmpowHer Champion fundraisers, or contribute in a way that suits your unique talents and schedule. We wholeheartedly appreciate the monetary and in-kind support individuals provide to our programs, whether it’s through donations, sending items from our Amazon Wishlist, or running personal fundraisers on social media. Our dedicated team is here to connect with you, understand your interests, and help find the perfect way for you to get involved. Businesses are a big part of our journey too, and we’re enthusiastic about collaborating with them in various capacities. We welcome corporate partners at different levels and have some fantastic ways to

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“Disability EmpowHer Network collaborates with many different organizations to help achieve our goals and the goals of our partners!” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

express our gratitude for their support. If your business is eager to embrace inclusivity and empower disabled women, we’re here to offer guidance and connect you with the incredible women in our network. Together, we can make a real difference and create a more inclusive and supportive community for everyone. In your journey, who has been your biggest source of inspiration or support? There is one experience with my dad that has significantly shaped my life and how I view my place in the world. It’s a bit of a story, so bear with me. When I was young my dad was an entrepreneur, but spent a lot of his time volunteering for nonprofits. When I was about 11, my dad had space in a warehouse. At the warehouse, he had these HUGE crates of bolts, nuts, screws, etc. that could only be moved with a forklift. He would lift me into these big crates and give me bins to sort parts into for hours while my dad would work on “hot boxes.” Being the chatterbox I am, I would sort and talk and watch my dad tinker with these silver metal boxes, and finally it occurred to me to ask him what in the world he was doing. He tells me that these are the boxes that keep food warm when volunteers deliver meals to old people who live alone and can’t cook. When the boxes break, the organization calls him, he picks them up, and in his spare time he fixes them. Then I asked him if they pay him a lot and he told me that they pay him nothing. And I got all upset because I was sitting on a 6 foot pile of bolts, sorting tiny pieces, for HOURS while he worked for free?!?! At this point he tried to tell me that life isn’t all about money, and I understood

that, but I was just not hearing it. I was sitting on a mound of cold, metal pieces while he fixed hot boxes for free and I couldn’t comprehend why we had been doing this for HOURS every week. That night when we got home and he made me print out graph paper to demonstrate our life expectancy. His graph should have 70 years and mine should have 90, he said. Each year gets 12 boxes to represent each month. He insisted his graph paper should get 70 years because “tall people don’t last as long” and mine should get 90 years because I was short and technology was rapidly changing to make people live longer, so he assumed I should be able to make it 90 at the very least. I made two grids as instructed. Then he told me to color in the boxes of the months we’ve already lived. I was 11, so my grid only had a little over 10% of the page colored in. He was about 35, so half of his grid was colored in. When I finished coloring, my dad said “okay, so the space that’s colored in is time that’s already spent. You can’t get that time back. And the white space, that’s the amount of time we have left to change the world. You have a lot more white space left than I do, so you can do a lot more. What you’ve got to ask yourself is, if you’re not here to make the world a better place, then what the hell are you doing here?”

hanging on a corkboard in my room under the title “Time Left to Change the World.” To this day, whenever I feel uncertain about what I should be doing, I go back to that moment and ask myself “if you’re not here to make the world a better place, then what the hell are you doing here?” Being a leader in a male-oriented field, have you faced any unique challenges or obstacles due to your gender and disability? All the time. In the legal world I have had mediators pat my head instead of shaking my hand, in my first year practicing a judge actually kissed me on the head which left me feeling humiliated and powerless, and there have been countless times that bar events and courtrooms were not wheelchair accessible. There are also microaggressions that I deal with regularly, such as people telling me that they think I am “so brave.” When I ask them why they think I am brave, they say “for living in wheelchair.” Then I ask “What was my other choice?” This is when they usually stop speaking or say “well, I could never do that.” They think I am brave for living in a wheelchair, but my other choice is not living. That’s not a compliment. That’s just implying that they think my life as a disabled person is worse than death.

That’s when I understood. I understood the hot boxes. I understood why we volunteered to cook at shelters. I understood why he was committed to hiring recovering drug addicts and alcoholics. I understood a lot of things at a deeper level than “because it’s the right thing to do.”

Statements like this are not uncommon - disabled people hear them all of the time. It’s microaggressions like these that make the work that we do at Disability EmpowHer Network so important we want to uplift and empower girls and women with disabilities. We want disabled girls and women to know that they can and should lead incredible lives and that their disability is not a barrier to happiness or success.

I saved those grids for years. They were

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“100% Graduation Rate: We are endlessly proud of all of the participants in our programs and the success they each find, in particular we are proud to have a 100% graduation rate for EmpowHer Camp.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

young girls and women with disabilities who aspire to pursue careers in law or advocacy? Do it. Take your space. Remember that your voice matters so do not let others silence you or allow you to second guess yourself. And connect with mentors with disabilities who can provide guidance, share their experiences, and offer invaluable insights. Could you highlight a few milestones or achievements of the Disability EmpowHer Network that you are particularly proud of? It’s difficult to pick just a few, especially since some of the most special milestones and achievements come from seeing the growth of the disabled women and girls in our programs. With that said, here are just a few milestones that have been especially meaningful: Expansion of Team: One significant milestone was securing funding that allowed not only allowed me to work at Disability EmpowHer Network full time, but also two more full-time staff members to join the team within just two years of starting the Disability EmpowHer Network. This achievement marked substantial growth and sustainability for our organization, allowing for expanded impact and services. In-Person Program Launch (EmpowHer Roc): Given that our organization began during the pandemic, most of our activities were conducted virtually. However, starting the EmpowHer Roc program in the Rochester area last year marked a wonderful milestone. This program provided an in-person option for disabled girls and young women, giving them the opportunity for face-to-face interaction and support. This expansion into physical meetings was a meaningful push forward in offering hands-on support and personal connections, enriching the programs. EmpowHer Roc Success and Program Expansion: The idea for the EmpowHer 72

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Roc program originally came from one of the EmpowHer Camp participants who advocated for more support, which demonstrates the empowerment and advocacy skills that we instill in our participants. The success of this program inspired interest in an adult program, leading to the launch of an adult-focused initiative at the beginning of 2023, EmpowHer Roc+. This expansion ensured that the Disability EmpowHer Network could provide opportunities for disabled women of all ages, fulfilling a crucial need for continued support and empowerment. 100% Graduation Rate: We are endlessly proud of all of the participants in our programs and the success they each find, in particular we are proud to have a 100% graduation rate for EmpowHer Camp. These milestones are a testament to Disability EmpowHer Network’s commitment to making a positive impact on the lives of disabled women and girls, providing valuable resources, support, and opportunities for growth and empowerment. What is the ultimate goal or vision for the future of the Disability EmpowHer Network, and how can people help you achieve it? Our vision is simple: We believe in a world where girls and women with disabilities recognize their value and believe in their ability to be leaders. To bring this vision to life, the Disability EmpowHer Network is committed to supporting disabled girls and women at various stages of their lives, whether that involves graduating high school, succeeding in college, securing employment, managing their healthcare, pursuing leadership roles, or any other aspiration. We want to be a constant source of support and guidance throughout these journeys.

My hope is that our goals for the future of Disability EmpowHer Network will always be growing and evolving so that we can continually meet the needs of the disabled girls and women in our network. “Nothing about us without us” is our mantra. We do not make any decisions without the input of the people we serve. All of our programs were born from wishes shared from the girls and women in our network. I hope that we can continue to grow and expand organically by listening to the ideas and aspirations of girls and women with disabilities. People can help us achieve our goals by joining our efforts. Disabled girls and women can join our programs. Nondisabled people can support our efforts in many ways such as volunteering with us, reaching out to us when you have employment opportunities, making a tax deductible donation to our organization, hiring one of our incredible participants to speak at your next event, spreading the word about our work, inviting us to collaborate with your company to increase opportunities for women with disabilities, and so much more. Reach out to us and we’ll gladly find a way to collaborate with you to help uplift and empower girls and women with disabilities! On a personal level, my goal is for Disability EmpowHer Network’s goals and direction to be created and led by the girls and women we serve. I do not want Disability EmpowHer Network to be mine - I want every person involved in Disability EmpowHer Network to have a sense of ownership in our organization and know that their ideas for our future matter. We’re currently in the process of strategic planning and I am excited that so many individuals are contributing to our strategic plan and helping to shape the course for our next five years.

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AT FIRST WE WEREN’T YOU ARE ENOUGH. CONCERNED... BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY JOANNE RYAN BY NSP STUDIO

“At first, we weren’t concerned—we thought she was just entering a “moody” phase of preadolescence. But when these moods lasted longer than a few days, we knew something was happening. I’d ask what’s wrong sweetie and she would say nothing. But we could see she wasn’t herself, she had become quiet, almost withdrawn on occasion, and then we noticed she wasn’t eating. She got agitated every time we tried to ask her what was wrong, or told her that she needed to eat something… Our sweet and usually happy outgoing 12-year-old girl had become sullen and withdrawn. When we asked her if something had happened in school or on the bus or with her brothers, she didn’t give us a reason, just a sinking feeling that something was wrong.”

Medical Center and Rochester Regional Health. We serve families with all diagnoses, including mental health. The mission of the Ronald McDonald House Charities is very simple and yet profound… we care for families while their child is ill or injured. We keep families close and whole during their child’s treatment by clearing all logistical barriers and providing a safe and comfortable place to stay, meals, and transportation at no cost to our families. We also offer referrals and educational opportunities so parents can understand their child’s diagnosis. We provide what our families desperately need—a “home-away-from-home” when they face a medical crisis because we believe all families deserve access to high-quality and equitable care.

This was shared with me by the parent of a child suffering from anxiety and depression. Prior to her daughter’s diagnosis, this Mom endured sleepless nights and painful uncertainty, wondering: Is this serious, or are we reading too much into it? Until, one night their usually happy 12-year-old stood at the end of their bed, started to cry, and said I just don’t want to be here anymore. They knew they had to do something. Fortunately, that very brave little 12-year-old was able to articulate her feelings before she decided to act on them. Mental health and Wellness are so fragile and today more than ever, children are at risk.

In addition to our 2 Houses in Rochester NY and our 2 supportive meal vouchers and healthy snack programs, we offer 4—and soon to be 5—Family rooms within Rochester’s hospitals where family members of children in the hospital can find support, respite and nourishment. We are very proud of the fact that we opened here in Rochester the first Mental Health and Wellness Ronald McDonald House Family Room in the nation. This Family Room is a dedicated space for families of pediatric patients receiving care in the Department of Psychiatry at Strong. The Family Room provides a respite space with a play area, laundry machine, and kitchenette with snacks and coffee. We work closely with the Department of Psychiatry to ensure our Family Room also provides relevant and helpful psychiatric resources, computers, and printers for families to use.

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At the Ronald McDonald House Charities of Rochester, we have prioritized supporting families through their child’s mental health diagnosis, and I would like to share with you 10 ways that you can support your child’s mental health. These ideas come directly from a wonderful and informative article published online by DISCOVER Mood & Anxiety Program and written by Madeline Langham (source: 10 Tips to Help Child’s Mental Health - Discovery Mood & Anxiety Program). 10 ways that Parents Can Support a Child’s Mental Health As parents, it’s important to ensure that our children feel supported through each stage of development. While professional intervention can be warranted in situations where children are having great difficulty coping with life, there are many ways that parents can support a child’s mental health including modeling healthy coping skills, keeping communication open and honest, and watching for changes in your child’s behavior. 1. Model healthy coping skills. You can help your children learn how to deal with their emotions in a healthy way by modeling coping skills at home. You can engage in these skills with your child or talk them through doing them on their own. Activities such as deep breathing, using stress balls, making art (painting, coloring, doodling) or going for walks can be great strategies for coping with feelings. 2. Watch for behavior changes.

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“We know Minutes Matter, and that feeling supported through a crisis is essential to successfully navigating that crisis.”

It’s very normal for kids to go through changes in behavior while progressing through different developmental stages. However, if you notice that your child has become more withdrawn or isolated from their friends, family or routine, it may be a sign that they’re experiencing a situation or feeling that they don’t know how to process on their own. Check in with your child and let them know you’re there and ready to support them however they need. 3. Keep communication open and honest. It’s important that your child knows they can approach you with any issue, and that they will be received and listened to with love and support. Simply letting them know that you are there to support and listen to them without judgment can increase the likelihood that they’ll come to you when they have a problem. 4. Create a routine and set clear boundaries at home. Uncertainty about day-to-day schedules can lead to a lot of stress or anxiety in a child’s life. Creating a general routine at home can provide some relief and peace for your child, whether it’s a schedule for daily meals or a weekly movie night. Having clear boundaries is also important for your child to know what is expected of them at home and can minimize feelings of frustration from both parent and child. 5. Let them know they are loved and supported.

For a child, one of the most important things you can provide is an environment where they know they are loved and important. They know they are supported no matter what they do, and this increases their feelings of security and safety in the home. 6. Provide positive feedback and encouragement Kids love to receive positive feedback and learn that they’ve done something well. Knowing they’ve done something well increases feelings of pride and confidence, which can stick with a child long term. In addition, providing positive reinforcement for behaviors will often encourage children to repeat that behavior. 7. Encourage joyful movement. Physical activity provides a necessary outlet for kids, which is important for both physical and mental health. Helping children find a type of movement they enjoy, even from an early age, is a great way to ensure they remain engaged and interested. Participating in movement together with your child can also be a great way to get them involved. 8. Talk about emotions and feelings regularly. Kids learn so much by watching their parents, including behaviors when it comes to emotional expression and regulation. Rather than simply saying your day was “good” or “OK,” try to discuss different emotions you felt throughout your day when talking with your child. Talk to

them about the moment you felt stressed in a meeting or frustrated with a coworker—and then talk to them about how you handled your emotions in that situation. This teaches them that these feelings are normal, provides suggestions on how to handle the feelings and gives them the vocabulary to talk about a wider range of emotions affecting them. Don’t be afraid to bring up the subject of mental health with older children and adolescents. 9. Involve them in decision making. As adults, we feel we know what’s best for our child, and so children are often left out of the decisionmaking process. Of course, it may be more appropriate for the parent to make the final decision. However, finding ways to include your child in making decisions can help them feel that they are heard and valued in their home. Something as simple as asking them whether they think you should prepare rice or macaroni and cheese with dinner can show them they have a voice and give them the confidence to use it. 10. Get professional help if needed. Recognizing when your child needs help is a crucial skill to have as a parent. There may be times when it can be overwhelming or frustrating to try to handle your child’s behaviors or respond appropriately to their emotions. Don’t be afraid to find and ask for help—it can be a great benefit to both you and your child. Here in Rochester, we are so fortunate ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 79

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“It is our privilege to be in such a unique position to help families with children and adolescents who will be treated for a mental health diagnosis at The Center.” to have access to state-of-the-art pediatric care. In 2024, the University of Rochester Medical Center will be opening the first-ever psychiatric urgent care clinic for youth in our region, made possible by the generous support of the Brighter Days Foundation and other generous donors. The Brighter Days Pediatric Mental Health Urgent Care Center will be located at Golisano Children’s Hospital and right next to our Ronald 80

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McDonald House Charities of Rochester’s Mental Health & Wellness Family Room. The Center’s services will be family-centered—aligning perfectly with our mission. It is our privilege to be in such a unique position to help families with children and adolescents who will be treated for a mental health diagnosis at The Center. We know Minutes Matter, and that feeling supported through a crisis is essential to successfully

navigating that crisis. If you believe your child needs support through a mental health crisis, reach out to your pediatrician today.

ENJOY FLIGHT WINE BAR PHOTOS BY ROBYN BATY PHOTOGRAPHY

In The Beautiful Cornhill Neighborhood

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“They are all wonderful wines but bubbles are always a favorite and makes every day a special occasion.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Calling all wine enthusiasts. Come and join us at Flight Wine Bar located in the heart of Rochester’s historic Corhnill neighborhood. Flight Wine Bar, and owner Sue eueter invite wine enthusiasts to embark on a sensory voyage, merging exquisite wines from all over the world, with a quaint, welcoming atmosphere. This hidden gem seamlessly intertwines an extensive global wine selection with a curated menu of small plates creating an unparalleled epicurean experience. Whether a seasoned connoisseur or an eager novice, patrons are welcome at all levels of expertise. Plus, they even offer other options including local hard cider and even Kambucha!

What inspired you to take over a wine bar, what is your background? I started my love for wine at Deer Run Winery on Conesus Lake working with George and Joan Kuyon. Through that position I was able to meet many store and restaurant owners and work at several venues. One day I heard a new wine bar was opening in PIttsford NY. I showed up with my resume and met Nicole McLean at Via Girasole Wine Bar who offered me the manager position. I stayed

Join us as we uncover the allure and sophistication of Flight Wine Bar in Rochester Woman Online magazine’s exploration ofsome of the city’s hidden food and drink treasures. Can you tell our readers about Flight Wine Bar and what makes it a unique establishment in Rochester? Flight Wine Bar is 100% woman owned (by Susan Reuter), who was born and raised in Rochester and very excited to be able to work with so many Rochester charities and networking organizations. I am enjoying coming up with Rochester themed flights and finding more local products to feature on the menu.

there for over 5 years. When covid hit I branched into new positions but was very excited to get back into the wine world. Could you share with us the story behind your decision to purchase Flight Wine Bar, especially being a female owner? I have had many hospitality jobs and loved every one of them. Each position taught me something new that led me

to want my own business. I decided if I was going to keep working this hard, it should be for myself with my ideas and passion. What types of wines are your specialties at Flight, and what sets them apart from other wine bars in the area? While I know that I need to offer the usual varietals, I am always looking for something unusual. We currently have a White Malbec, White Pinot Noir and a NYS sparkling red that are all huge hits. I also love to create a flight connection with Rochester. For example we have a “Jazz Flight” because I just love the jazz community in Rochester. Can you recommend some of your personal favorite wines available at Flight, and why do you love them? It is so hard to pick a favorite when I created the menu. They are all wonderful wines but bubbles are always a favorite and makes every day a special occasion. Flight Wine Bar is known for its innovative wine flights. Can you explain how these flights work and what makes them special? I like to pair the flights as 3 wines that all compliment each other. It is so fun to try new things. Flights give everyone the chance to try and find a new favorite wine.

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{ EAT & DRINK IN THE ROC { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “Flight is very proud to offer so many local options on our menu with the beverages and the food.”

What are some of the most popular wine flights that customers can enjoy at Flight? I think the most popular and asked about flight is “Identity Crisis”. It is made up of 3 wines that should be red but fermented without the skins which make them white wines. One of my favorite flights is the “Pride” flight made up of sparkling white, rose’ and red wines. Rochester is known for its diverse food scene. How does Flight Wine Bar complement the local culinary offerings? Flight is very proud to offer so many local options on our menu with the beverages and the food. Some local favorites are Hedonist Chocolates, Tony’s Popcorn, Tre Dolce desserts, F. Oliver’s flavored oils..... Could you tell us about any upcoming events or special promotions at Flight Wine Bar in the coming months? We really LOVE our special events. It is so much fun to have events that are outside the box. We have monthly “Wine Time” events with Rochester Woman Online that always bring us new friends along with so many regular friends. Our private events are becoming more and more popular. We host everything from work happy hours, to special birthday parties, engagements, bridal showers..... Everything is listed on our Facebook and Website calendar. Wine and food pairings are always a highlight at Flight. What are some of your favorite wine and

food combinations on your menu? Red wine and chocolate. Bubbles and anything. As the owner of Flight, how do you curate the wine selection to cater to a wide range of tastes and preferences? You have to have something for everyone. There is a favorite wine for everyone and I try to have them all. If I don’t have every type of wine by the glass, I try to have other options by the bottle. Some days customers do not know what they want and I always start with “what kind of wine do you like?” From that we can help them find a new wine they will enjoy. Flight Wine Bar is a go-to place for wine enthusiasts. Can you share some tips for those looking to explore and appreciate wines more deeply? On an everyday basis I always suggest trying the flights. It is the best chance to taste 3 wines you haven’t had before. If guests want to appreciate wines on another level, that would be the ticketed wine pairing events. That is where we can really go outside the box and pair great wines with food that we do not serve on our daily menu. In what ways do you engage with the local community and support local wineries or businesses? I love to support as many local businesses as I can. We promote the menu items on the menu and place every logo at the bottom of the menu. If you look at the bottom of our menu you will see wineries, breweries, kombucha, and many local food items.

The ambiance at Flight is often praised. How would you describe the atmosphere and design of your wine bar? We constantly hear that Flight has a “Great Vibe” along with the words “cozy, friendly and clean” alot. I am so very lucky to have wonderful staff and we are all working together to give each customer the best experience we can. What’s your vision for the future of Flight Wine Bar, and what plans do you have in store for the coming months to enhance the experience for your customers? My ultimate goal is to be the Favorite wine bar in Rochester. I am always working on the next menu, wine pairing event, partnerships with other local businesses/charities and any reason to have a party. Keep up with our Facebook, online calendar and email blasts to see what is coming next. Links to following for our events: h t t p s : / / w w w. f a c e b o o k . c o m / FlightWineROC h t t p s : / / w w w. i n s t a g ra m . c o m / flightwineroc/ www.winebarflight.com

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“Flight Wine Bar is

100% woman owned (by Susan Reuter), who was born and raised in ROCHESTER and very excited to be able to work with so many Rochester charities and networking ORGANIZATIONS.

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SALENA’S MEXICAN YOURESTAURANT ARE ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

What inspired you and your husband to open a Mexican restaurant in Rochester, and how has the journey been over the past 25 years? My husband and I started working at Salena’s around 1999/2000. We met at the restaurant and became friends when Salena’s expanded to its current location. Before then, we hadn’t worked at the same location at the same time. Fast forward, we became more than friends, had a baby, got married…

have fun with our menu and recipes. Salena’s has become a beloved spot in Rochester. Can you share some of your most cherished menu items that have stood the test of time? My personal favorites are the enchiladas mole, the stuffed avocado, and the chicken wings! And don’t forget the house margaritas!!

We never expected to own the restaurant! When the previous owner offered for us to purchase the restaurant, we were surprised, to say the least. At that point in our lives, I was teaching Special Education at Halpern, and he was working in group homes for the disabled. We knew that we wanted to open our own business, but to jump into Salena’s?! Spoiler, we did! We are in our 13th year and cannot list all of the things that we have learned -things that have changed, and challenges that we have overcome. I talk about some of them in my Getting Real with BOSSY episode- you can listen if you want the dirty details! My favorite part of the journey has been the influx of Mexican restaurants, and not just because we love Mexican food. Because so many places have opened, we are able to source things that were inaccessible before. This allows us to

With your incredible tequila collection, what are some of the customer favorites when it comes to tequila and handcrafted drinks? We are huge fans of the distillery El Pandillo. We fell in love with it back in 2016 when we first met the owner, Felipe. We were honored to

tour the distillery in 2019 and were amazed at the innovation. Felipe is 3rd generation master distiller and wanted the opportunity to do things his own way- which resonated with me. Plus he was using energy efficient methods and decreasing waste in production which was also close to my heart. I learned so much from him from a business perspective. We favor G4 tequila, and are thrilled to finally be able to carry Terra Alta, which has been my personal favorite since the tasting at the tour of El Pandillo! For those that don’t know about liquor laws, we are not allowed to serve anything that isn’t purchased through a distributor, and the producers can only sell through a single distributor in NY, which leads to difficulty sourcing products. Sometimes they are not sold through any upstate options, and other times, Rochester just doesn’t get a market share. So come try Terra Altamineral water from Felipe’s property is added to the production instead of all deep well water, and you can taste the minerality which gives it a unique flavor profile. G4 is made with rainwater and you can smell the freshness of the rain in it! As for handcrafted cocktails, our mezcal old fashioned and our el diablo are my personal favorites, even though I am a straight tequila woman at heart.

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{ EAT & DRINK IN THE ROC } { SHIFT+CONTROL } “As for handcrafted cocktails, our mezcal old fashioned and our el diablo are my personal favorites, even though I am a straight tequila woman at heart.”

Could you describe the experience of catering offsite? What type of events do you typically cater, and what makes Salena’s catering unique? Leading up to the pandemic, Salena’s was regularly hosting catering events for 500 people, and we were cooking quarterly for the Strong Museum’s Happy Hour, which was 6000 items served at once! Catering has been coming back, and we are seeing orders getting larger again, which is exciting because we LOVE catering for events! Salena’s offers catering for parties of 10 to 2000 with the option of having an event on-site in our event space for up to 65 people. We have 3 tiers for packages, and we offer a build-yourown a la carte option as well. Not only do people get more than enough food for their event, but we can cater for mixed dietary needs! Salena’s has celiacfriendly, vegan and vegetarian-friendly, and dairy-free-friendly options, plus our kitchen is nut-free! It makes it extremely convenient for family and office events when you may have one or two people with different dietary needs. Tell us about your tequila classes and tastings. How did this aspect of your business come about, and when can customers experience a tequila tasting? Tequila classes are my favorite thing. It started from the necessity for teaching staff- 10 years ago, tequila was not commonplace, but Salena’s had a huge collection of offerings. We wanted staff to understand the differences which include the flavor changes between growing agave in high or low 94

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areas, the additives that can be used to change the product, the extreme length of time that it takes for a single plant to mature, the different ways the production can change the flavor, and how to use all of these ideas to our benefit when picking which tequila different people should try. Salena’s Tequila Class & Tasting grew from that- it used to be offered quarterly, and then we moved to monthly. We do private events for birthdays or office celebrations, which led to Tacos & Tequila Team Building Seminars! Now you can use us for a half day to a full day, and do something different with your teams! Post-pandemic, people are looking for that creativity in team building and we are just the place for it! Some people are worried that they will get intoxicated throughout class. We serve less than 2 margaritas worth in total, and you do not have to drink the full tastings! In fact, you do not have to drink at all! Are there any new or unique items on your menu that you’d like to highlight? I am passionate about our mole sauce. I eat mole at every Mexican restaurant we go to, which is every Mexican restaurant we can find. I explain mole to people as being like Italian red sauce- recipes vary throughout Italy, through families, and at every Italian restaurant here. Mole recipes are handed down and vary geographically, so it is a fun way to travel through taste. I am proud of our vegan and vegetarian offerings that we have been able to

expand on over the last few years. And I am also proud of our celiac-friendly offerings. As a large family, we know what it is like to try to dine out with a variety of dietary needs, and we want to offer a place that other families like ours can eat safely with everyone having amazing options! Also our new corn ribs are an amazing addition! They are a unique twist on elote and so fun! What role does authenticity play in preparing your Mexican dishes, and how do you source your ingredients? We are authentic to Salena’s. Most of our guests have never been to Mexico, but we travel as often as possible. As I mentioned earlier, authenticity is geographical- we are not a coastal representation of Mexico, but more central Mexico. When we travel to Tequila and Jalisco, we find extremely similar recipes to ours. Sourcing had always been difficult for us, until the boom of Mexican restaurants in the area a few years back. We are excited to be able to source things that were unavailable before, like peppers and cheeses, which allows us more options on the authenticity front. Much like alcohol distribution that I mentioned before, we don’t get to control what is available to us. The recipes at Salena’s began as Maria’s recipes, which some readers may not know. Salena’s was purchased from Maria’s in 1998, so if you eat at Maria’s, you can see the similarities that are still there! We have tweaked ours over

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{ EAT & DRINK IN THE ROC } { SHIFT+CONTROL } “I think that the food scene in Rochester has evolved much like the food scene across the globe. Dining out was not a regular occurrence for many 25 years ago.”

time, so they are not identical, but the similarities are fun to experience. By the way, check out Maria’s in Webster! Salena’s has been a part of the Rochester community for a long time. How have you seen the food scene in Rochester evolve over the years? I think that the food scene in Rochester has evolved much like the food scene across the globe. Dining out was not a regular occurrence for many 25 years ago. It was something you did to celebrate! Now, dining out is something we just do- as friends getting together, as families feeding our kids before or after their activities, and as couples looking to get away. As solo diners just not wanting to cook! As more people are dining out for more reasons, more options have evolved, which is great for people looking to source more items. One thing I miss is the diner scene from 25 years ago when food was affordable and everything was home-cooked! As with all supply and demand, the price goes up because more people are buying the product. Which leads to cost-cutting and buying pre-prepared foods to serve. At Salena’s, I keep the integrity of the food we offer. Everything is prepared by our team. The hardest part of this is keeping prices affordable while still offering everything homemade. Some of our favorite local establishments are the Union Tavern in Seabreeze, Fiorella in the public market, and I-Square in Irondequoit. My kids

are “restaurant kids” so they are food spoiled. They rarely eat fast food, and when they do, it is pretty much just French fries because they just don’t like it! Our family are huge fans of Thali, Naantastic, Pita, and Roam Café. As you see, we don’t lie about supporting local and dining small. We understand the difficulties restaurants have faced in the past few years, and spend our dollars appropriately. Salena’s values are Kindness, Service, and Integrity and my family carries those values outside of work as well. Rochester is only as strong as our local businesses, so eat small! Can you share any interesting stories or memorable moments from your years of operation in the Village Gate area? I have worked at Salena’s since 1999 and have owned it since 2011. The amount of stories I have would cover a series of books! We often joke about writing one. Some of my favorite events at the Gate were the graffiti festivals that the previous owner held back in the late 90s and early 00s. I love that there is still a small sense of randomness at the Gate- you may wander and find jugglers practicing in the atrium, photographers taking pictures, etc. It is less organic than it was 20 years ago, but people still feel drawn there. There was a light festival about 10 years ago that was amazing and unexpected. And I miss the music in the courtyard

that Bop Shop put on during the summers before they moved their location. My favorite story was in 2014. We had only owned the business a few years and were seriously in debt. I left work around 9 and went home and to bed. The phone rings, and it is our manager- there is a fire on the 3rd floor of the building but on the other side. There wasn’t cause for alarm- we figured the sprinklers and firefighters would take care of it. Aaron got up and went in, and I went to sleep. I was woken up by a phone call. Aaron said to come in now! Thankfully my parents had moved in waiting to close on their new house… I got to the Gate and the restaurant was dark and it was raining inside the windows. We were not allowed inside and left thinking everything was gone. We were bankrupt. The next day, we called all the people. Servpro came in, and we hired a company to do our insurance claim. We all sat together in a dry/clean area, and we were told that it would be 6 months at least before we could even rebuild. The water main for the building was over Salena’s and when the firefighters tried to put the fire out, it blew. They repressurized it, and it blew again. Drowning the restaurant in black pipe water. I asked the Servpro reps what would happen if they came in tomorrow and there were no walls. They laughed at me and said “Honey, that would change everything, but it isn’t realistic” ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 97

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{ EAT & DRINK IN THE ROC { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “We cannot cater to all preferences. As I talked about earlier in the interview, we are authentic to Salena’s and where Salena’s recipes come from.”

so I sat quietly, planning. We put up a Facebook post and sent a few texts. The next thing we knew, people were showing up from everywhere. People we didn’t even know that loved the restaurant with work gloves, safety glasses, Sawzall’s… The next day, the walls were gone, Servpro left, and our insurance agents learned who they were dealing with. We gutted the restaurant and rebuilt it in 21 days with the help of the community.

just because they are not the place for me!

It was the most detrimental moment in the years pre-pandemic, but also the most beautiful.

Are there any special promotions or events that you host regularly for your loyal customers? Our top 100 loyalty guests and their families are invited to a private party every January where we feed them and give them free drinks as a thank you! Loyalty guests also get $50 for every $500 they spend throughout the year. We also have daily happy hours throughout the restaurant! And monthly specials to celebrate 25 years in Rochester!

For more “fun” stories, check out my podcast interview on Getting Real with BOSSY! Mexican cuisine is known for its diverse flavors. How do you ensure that your dishes cater to a wide range of tastes and preferences? We cannot cater to all preferences. As I talked about earlier in the interview, we are authentic to Salena’s and where Salena’s recipes come from. While always looking to improve and meet people where they are in their desires for flavors. We also cannot have a 10page menu and still stay in business. We want our guests to leave happy and satisfied with the recipes we have created, the atmosphere we create, and the affordability and quality of the food they choose. We know that we are not for everybody! However, the way that people respond to that baffles us. There are plenty of places that I don’t prefer, but I would never leave them a negative review online 100

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On that note, I urge all the readers here to go leave a 5-star review for their favorite local places! Every 10th of a star is said to be more than $10,000 in revenue. So please only leave 5-star reviews or close the review app- Rochester needs strong businesses to grow strong! The people that rely most on reviews are travelers!!

from Get Caked Bakery that is AHMAY-ZING, but my favorite is our homemade flan and tequila pie- you will not be disappointed with dessert at Salena’s!

In a world with increasing dietary preferences and restrictions, how does Salena’s accommodate customers with specific dietary needs? I think this has already been covered, but we offer specific menus for Celiac, Vegan, and Vegetarian guests. It allows them to comfortably order without navigating the symbols throughout our main menu.

Salena’s is not just a restaurant but a part of the local culture. Can you share any initiatives or community involvement that you’re passionate about? Since we purchased the restaurant, we have chosen to carefully spend our advertising dollars in ways that support the community. We do things like giving free food to Rochester schools for family events. We support Saving AJ which offers childcare to families in crisis, and Save Rochester which donates food and supplies to the community, through donations and outreach. We feed the youth at the Black Box Theater after their performances and support Teen Empowerment’s yearly staff appreciation party. We advertise with Magical Journey Through Stages, a not-for-profit youth theater group. We partner with grassroots organizations whenever possible and try to be cautious of how we spend our money. We get our embroidered Salena’s swag from Imprintable Solutions which provides internships and personal support for local youth. We have an annual Polar Plunge team, the Frozen Margaritas, that has raised over $60,000 for the Special Olympics.

What are the most popular dessert options on your menu, and do you have any unique Mexican dessert creations? We have vegan Spiced Mexican Cake

In 2014, I started BOSSY with Kelly Bush, owner of Marshall Street Bar & Grill and the Union Tavern. BOSSY is a support group for women business owners that began from our desire for

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“Fast forward, we became more than friends, had a baby, got married… We never expected to own the restaurant! ” a place to feel able to be real, raw, and honest about being a woman business owner. We are expanding this year to a co-ed branch of BOSSY, because we found that there was also a need for a place where male business owners could be vulnerable and honest. In 2015, I started RYCE, the Rochester Youth Culinary Experience, which was a nonprofit restaurant designed and created with local high school students. We opened in 2017 and closed shortly after. We also internally promote all of our positions, knowing that our staff are from the neighborhood that were are in. Grit and opportunity are life changers. I cannot always teach grit, but we are in a position to afford opportunity and we do not take that for granted. Some of our best leaders would not have been given an opportunity at all by most employers, and I take pride when I see 102

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them excelling today. Salena’s truly believes that Rochester is only as strong as its small businesses. And we walk the talk. Looking ahead, do you have any plans for expanding or enhancing the Salena’s experience for your customers in the future? Salena’s has not existed for 25 years in Rochester by being stagnant. We are constantly evolving and looking for ways to improve. We understand that dining out is a choice and that we are providing an experience. Experience is more than just food so our work is never done! We began the Taqueria program in 2019. This was a way for us to address many of the recurring issues we had faced over the decade prior, including reach, consistency, food and labor costs, and internal promotion availability. The

pandemic put a wrench in the expansion, and we opened a test store in Greece last October. It was not sustainable, so we have closed it, but we were able to work out many kinks and are looking for more locations to expand to! Salena’s is a family. That family consists of anyone who walks through our doors, which is both guests and staff. Families have their ups and their downs, but we have learned that our loyal guests are with us, are honest about where we are at, and support our team. Some are at baby showers and weddings, and bring gifts at Christmas. Others email me directly (kelly@salenas.com) when there are compliments or complaints instead of turning to the internet if things are not perfect. Families support. Salena’s supports. Whether it is a celebration, a commiseration, or just a quick meal, we are here and happy to be a part of it and look forward to being a part of it all for a third decade.

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FLIGHT YOUWEST ARE ENOUGH. WHISKEY BAR BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Can you share the story behind Flight West Whiskey Bar and the decision to shift its focus from wine to whiskey? We will always have a great wine selection, but feel the whiskey world is just getting started. With so many new distilleries and whiskey styles coming to market, the flavor profiles and cocktail ideas are endless.. What is Flight West’s mission, and how does it reflect in the experience you offer to your customers? We want everyone to love whiskey as much as we do. We try and break down any past bad experiences you may of had with it and try to find that whiskey that hits your sweet spot. Maybe you like a sweater bourbon, or a light whiskey, and a slight smoked scotch. We try and find that styles that suite you palate. Could you highlight some of your specialty whiskey-based drinks that customers can enjoy at Flight West? Mercedes - We pride ourselves on our Old Fashions and Manhattans. There are a lot of ways these classics can be done wrong, but we do them right. What are some of the standout items on your food menu that visitors must try? Mercedes - Every week Chef Franco 106

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Paulino comes up with a themed specials menu, which runs Thursday through Saturday. If you are here on the weekend we highly recommend ordering from the specials menu, it is a great way to get to know different types of regional cuisines and try something new. Can you tell us a bit about your background and how it influenced

With over 400 selections to choose from, how do you curate your extensive library of spirits and wines on tap? Mercedes - Our extensive library is lovingly curated by our bartenders, past and present. Turns out they like to drink, and boy are they good at it. We tend to lean towards the esoteric, if we haven’t heard of it, we want to and we want to introduce our guests to it as well. What makes Flight West unique when it comes to the expertise of your mixologist, and how does he stand out from others? Mercedes - Our mixologist is a creative perfectionist and a self proclaimed history buff, she dives deep into the history of each spirit and the world of cocktails. Our seasonal cocktail menus are extensively researched, planned, and tested. Everything is built with seasonal house-crafted fresh ingredients.

the creation of Flight West Whiskey Bar? I think all of us share some sort of love with food and wine, and for us, walking into a barrelhouse and smelling the fresh oak and aging whiskey almost stops time. The history, culture and stories that come from whiskey, just take you back to a simpler time.

Could you share insights into your most popular items on both the drink and food menus? One of our most popular food menu items is our Kung Pao Calamari. Calamari is a Rochester menu staple, but our take on the dish, inspired by Asian flavors, is a refreshingly different crowd pleaser. One of our more popular cocktails

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{ EAT & DRINK IN THE ROC } { SHIFT+CONTROL } “We try to keep everything simple and inviting.... To me, the best thing about whiskey is the conversations it sparks.”

s is our Bad Blood. Inspired by classic whiskey and amaretto sours with a touch of cherry and cinnamon. A bourbon cocktail that makes even non-bourbon drinkers fall in love. We also make a pretty mean Espresso Martini.... In just three words, how would you describe the atmosphere at Flight West Whiskey Bar? Elevated, Casual, Inviting

tasting events in the works for the new year, so be sure to check our social media pages to stay up to date on what we’re planning. Are there any signature cocktails or dishes that are exclusive to Flight West?

What kind of events or special experiences can customers look forward to at your establishment? We are in the process of setting up a schedule to do more whiskey tasting classes. Teaching everything from the basics, to all the many styles and regions. Do you offer any whiskey or cocktail tastings for patrons who want to explore new flavors? Mercedes - Exploring our whiskey and wine flights is the perfect way to find something new. The house favorite is the Featured Whiskey Flight, which changes frequently to include the newest, most exciting, and interesting whiskeys our bartenders can find. Our knowledgeable bartenders are happy to help guests navigate our extensive collection to find a new favorite whiskey or wine. We have a few

Mercedes - Our Barrel Aged cocktails program is a Flight West staple. We barrel several cocktails including a Negroni, Perfect Manhattan, and Cadillac Margarita. The oak barrel brings out a touch of sweetness and adds an extra layer of complexity to the cocktails. Can you tell us about the decor and ambiance of Flight West and how it complements the whiskey bar experience?

We try to keep everything simple and inviting.... To me, the best thing about whiskey is the conversations it sparks. Everyone has a story or a memory involving whiskey, and we love to hear them. How do you source unique and rare whiskies for your collection, and are there any hidden gems that patrons should be on the lookout for? We are always looking for the next “Hidden Gem” we will bring in pretty much every whiskey available to us. And by doing this, we have developed relationships with distillers and distributors to carry everything new and the super rare. What are the guidelines for customers who may be new to whiskey but want to explore your offerings? We try and gauge their whiskey level, and find out some whiskeys that may have had in the past and liked, or disliked and try to build a profile around that. We offer many whiskey flights as well, and that’s always a great way to learn and explore different flavors and styles. What inspired the name “Flight West” for your establishment, and how does it connect to your concept? We always associated the name “Flight”, with tastings and the ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 109

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“We always associated the name “Flight”, with tastings and the adventure of trying new things. The “West” came from being on the westside of town.” adventure of trying new things. The “West” came from being on the westside of town. Can you share any upcoming plans 112

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or initiatives for Flight West that customers should be excited about? We really want to do more educating and teaching of whiskey. We will be sharing in the near future some

plans to have “Whiskey Classes” at Flight West.

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YOU BLITZ ARE BAR ENOUGH. ROOM BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

What inspired you to open a sports bar and restaurant in the heart of Perinton Square? My husband, Steve and I have been living in Perinton for years and we noticed that there weren’t many sports bars in Perinton. We wanted a nearby place where we could go watch the game. His friend, Scott, owned a bar downtown but was looking to move to the suburbs. So, we suggested he move to Perinton, and we could all open a bar and restaurant together. Now, all three owners live here in Perinton and are loving it! Can you share the story behind the name “Blitz Bar Room” and its significance? We rattled around a bunch of names related to sports. We asked our friends and social media for ideas too. One of the names that we liked and that a close friend suggested was Blitz. We love football! Also, I play paddle (platform) tennis and like to blitz a lot. What are some of the standout signature drinks that customers love at Blitz Bar Room? We have a featured cocktail menu, it’s great for those that want to try something different or are looking for some suggestions. A few drinks that customers love are the Tickled Pink, Fantasia, and the Bulleitz Old Fashioned.

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Could you highlight a few specialty food items that set your menu apart from other bars in the area? Our menu is classic American bar food with some healthier options and specialty items. Our chicken wings are deliciously crispy, and we have 14 different sauces, including Korean BBQ. Also, we have some mouth-watering burgers, like Blitz Burger which has cheese, Fat Tire beer cheese, jalapenos, bacon, and meat sauce. In addition, we serve

authentic Korean kimchi (I’m Koreanso kimchi must be authentic!) in our rice bowls or as a side. Finally, our customers love our fish tacos, Bangin’ Shrimp, and fries! Since your recent opening, which nights have proven to be the busiest, and what do you attribute this to? Our busiest times are when the Bills are playing- thanks Bills Mafia! We have had some amazing giveaways - thanks to our beer and liquor distributors!

Also, Trivia Night with DJ Trivia on Thursday nights pulls in a large, fun crowd- thanks trivia fans! How did you come up with the idea of hosting trivia nights, and what makes them unique at Blitz Bar Room? We love trivia and we fancy ourselves smarties! In fact, we came in second last week (thanks to our new friends). Bill and LuAnn from DJ Trivia put on a great show with their fun personalities and good music! You mentioned there are three partners. Can each of you share a bit about your background and how you came together to start this business? Yes, there are three of us: Scott, Steve, and Meghan. We all have a background bartending. Scott has previously owned two bars, Toasted Bear and Yaegers. Steve and Scott have been good friends for years and I’m married to Steve. We decided to bring our talents together: bar management, information technology, and artistic talents together to create a neighborhood cozy sports bar and restaurant where all are welcome. What’s the overall atmosphere and theme you aimed to create in your sports bar? Our goal is to foster an inviting, comfortable atmosphere to watch major sports like football and baseball,

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{ EAT & DRINK IN THE ROC { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “Absolutely delicious food! Drinks were one point. Probably some of the best fries we’ve had. Definitely recommend!”

but also broadcast tennis, pickleball, and paddle tennis on big TVs! Our fun, friendly staff aim to serve great drinks curated by our team of bartenders and excellent food created by our chef, Jamie. In addition, we wanted comfortable seats with high back chairs and a soft bench. Plus, we longed for a space where people could hear each other talk. So, we added some soundreducing devices to still have the high ceilings and hard surfaces, but be able to hear each other. So far, it’s helped!

We have been having several private parties lately, which has worked out well. We cater to almost whatever the groups want- heavy appetizers, buffet, open bar, drink tickets, presentation link onto our 160” tv, etc.

Are there any particular sports or teams that you focus on when it comes to broadcasting games or events? We focus on football: Bills, Bills, Bills! Cowboys and Steelers, and Syracuse Orange too. Also, we show all sports, especially racquet sports. We usually have the Tennis channel on one or two tvs. Te l l u s a b o u t a n y upcoming events, promotions, or special activities you have planned for your patrons in the coming months. We will continue to show all the major football games. Also, we would like to have a paddle tennis tournament watch party soon! Trivia on Thursdays will continue as well.

Some upcoming events are: December 6: Singles Mingle What kind of feedback have you received from customers about their experiences at Blitz Bar Room?

Thanks to our amazing community, we’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback! We are honored to hold a 4.3 star on Google Reviews. Two customers wrote: “Absolutely delicious food! Drinks were one point. Probably some of the best fries we’ve had. Definitely recommend!” Food: 5/5 | Service: 5/5 | Atmosphere: 5/5 - G.A., September 2023 “This establishment is amazing with fantastic food and drink! After having a horrible experience again at another bar we walked out and ran over to Blitz only to be blown away! Service was fantastic and 2 of the owners were there and 1 working the bar. Wife got a burger and I got a garage plate that was not on the menu but look for it soon as it is a winner and enough for 2 mountain men. Huge TV’s and great environment without blasting music. Having only been open for 3 months you can tell a lot of thought and effort went in to making this place a stand out!” Food: 5/5 | Service: 5/5 | Atmosphere: 5/5 - M.G., October 2023 Can you elaborate on the efforts you’ve made to create a welcoming and inclusive environment for all patrons? ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 117

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“We spent much time and effort into researching the market before we started this venture, and we continue to do so as the trends change.” We constructed a bar and restaurant that is inclusive to all- our neighbors, visitors, all genders, races, children, and special needs. Our location in the Perinton Square is helpful to those that live near us- many walk here. Also, we have plenty of free parking for those who drive to visit. We welcome all genders and races. We have highchairs for children. Finally, we have a wheelchair accessible ramp. What steps have you taken to support the local community or engage with them? We believe in helping our local community. Although, we have only been open for three months, we donated to Fairport Music Festival which raises money for Golisano Children’s Hospital, Sustain Inspire Survive (SIS) which provides financial 120

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assistance for those battling breast cancer, participate in the Rochester Beer Pass which helps the homeless, and we are holding a fundraiser for Good People Deserve to Win Too. We are committed to continuing to support and engage with our community. How do you stay updated with the latest trends and developments in the sports bar and restaurant industry? We spent much time and effort into researching the market before we started this venture, and we continue to do so as the trends change. Currently, we are working on a winter drink menu and updating our food menu. They should be out soon! What future goals and expansions do you have in mind for Blitz Bar Room?

Many people have asked if the Blitz is a chain. We are not a chain restaurant. Some even think they’ve been to it in New York City. They haven’t. We only have one location so far. However, we are open to expanding into a second location in the future. Time will tell.

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LUIGI’S YOU COFFEE ARE ENOUGH. & SWEETS BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO PHOTOS BY ANDREA WESTERLUND

Can you tell us what inspired you to open Luigis coffee shop? I have owned the building next door for seven years and always felt it was a great spot for a coffee shop. Our little community of East Rochester really needed a local coffee shop for the community to gather! What challenges did you encounter during the process of starting your coffee shop, and how did you overcome them? Not really any challenges, just waiting for my contractor to have time, little things like rearranging electrical, but for the most part everything went smoothly. A lot of people who were genuinely excited but constantly asked “when is your coffee shop opening?” did put a little pressure on me but I tried to focus on the bigger picture and being patient that it would open when it was supposed to (after I got my 2 youngest off to college) Is there any special significance or personal story behind the name “Luigis “ for your coffee shop? Yes its named after my dog, who is a Jack Russell Chihuahua mix and who looks like a little old Italian man; but ironically there used to be a Luigis Restaurant in East Rochester back 124

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in the 1950s. Could you describe some of the unique specialties or signature drinks that you offer at Luigis coffee shop? The initial focus was just to offer a good locally roasted cup of coffee(Evening Star Roasters) with local milk(Pittsford Dairy) , chai(The Chai Guy) and locally made pastries (Baker Street Bakery/Savoia / Donuts Delite/ GoodysGoodies ) . We also offer Misceladoro Expresso from Italy,

What sets Luigis coffee shop apart from other coffee shops in the area? There are no local coffee shops nearby, they are all franchises, We source local and offer a delicious cup of coffee for the community to enjoy while supporting other small businesses in Rochester. We are focused on keeping it simple and basic, We are trying to bring back the Italian culture to East Rochester! We play Italian music, we have the Italian word of the day and we have a large Italian flag out front. How do you source your coffee beans, and do you prioritize any particular regions or types of beans? We get our beans from Evening Star coffee roasters in Avon NY; they roast small batches of arabica coffee beans from the worlds finest countries & from individual farms.

We will offer some seasonal drinks but right now just want to offer the convenience for the community with an Italian flare. Are there any exclusive or seasonal items on your menu that customers should look out for? During the holidays we plan to offer some favorites such as peppermint mochas; gingerbread lattes and also would like to offer coffee flights!

Do you have any plans to expand your menu or offer additional services in the future? No we would like to keep it simple and focus on quality and experience, we have only a few employees you usually see a familiar face when you come in! Can you tell us about the atmosphere and ambiance you’ve created at Luigis coffee shop? We would like to have people feel like they are in Italy! We play Italian

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“It’s named after my dog, who is a Jack Russell Chihuahua mix and who looks like a little old Italian man; but ironically there used to be a Luigis Restaurant in East Rochester back in the 1950s.” music, we have Italian pictures as well as lots of pictures of East Rochester history. Are there any community events or initiatives that your coffee shop is involved in? We just opened in October but we plan to be involved in community events in future and will probably collect food for our community resource center during this holiday season. How do you ensure sustainable and environmentally friendly practices in your coffee shop? We definitely use as as many sustainable products as we can ,we recycle and reuse as well! What’s your personal favorite item on 128

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the menu, and why do you enjoy it? I love our Italian Macaroon coffee! Its an Evening Star original flavor and its so tasty without being too sweet. Its one of the shops most popular!! Do you host any coffee-related workshops or events for your customers? We plan to do some events in the future. How do you stay updated with the latest trends in the coffee industry and incorporate them into your offerings? I have reached out to a lot of local shops in Rochester, follow coffee content all over Instagram and I’m in a lot of coffee owners groups for support and inspiration!

As the owner, are you a coffee drinker yourself, and do you have a favorite coffee preparation method? I prefer just a regular drip coffee while I am shopping /cutting hair or just taking a walk! Make sure to stop by and visit them at 230 W Commercial St, East Rochester, NY 14445

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YOU ARE ENOUGH. WELCOME BOSSY BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO BY KELLYI METRAS

Welcome BOSSY women! We are so excited to host this column and we cannot wait for you to learn more about us, about BOSSY, and about the people that we have met and get to team up with along the path our lives have taken. You will get to see snippets into our parallel life paths, which led to owning businesses with our spouses, and ultimately to creating a space for women business owners to feel heard and valued in a way that is real, raw, and honest.

Today. I am sitting with Kelly B. at the Union Tavern. We had scheduled 3 hours to devote to BOSSY, in between an autism assessment appointment and hosting a Rehearsal Dinner. Her daytime employee had a family emergency, so we moved the co-work to Union Tavern so she could serve the bar and tables. On the way, I got a call from a friend in crisis so I sat in her parking lot for 45 minutes, waiting for the Kelly’s table to come in and order so we could get work done.

BOSSY started in 2014 with a happy hour, which grew quickly to a monthly happy hour with a private Facebook group. We then started to host seminars when certain topics would repetitively come up and that grew into a yearly conference. We find it hard, but utterly important, to carve time to work ON your business instead of always IN your business. This seems to be one of the hardest things to explain to non-business owners. The amount of internal time that we plot, plan, strategize, and ponder when it comes to work, and how hard that is to do while in the trenches just trying to keep the doors open. One of the things we are most proud of is Getting Real with BOSSY, our podcast centered on what it is really like to be a small business owner. We have monthly episodes and have shared 22 stories. (Shout out to Jazzcast Pros, our producer, for keeping us organized and on time!) In this column, you will read about real life, real issues, and real business. So, let’s start today!

it is not an emergency. In the middle of all of it, Kelly is placing an order for a large catering that needs to be prepped tomorrow. Today is her office day, so she still needs to pay bills, to prep for next week, and answer 8 million emails. Seriously, so many emails. Some will read this and think “That’s what you get for owning your own business.” Or “At least you make your schedule.” Or “It takes hard work to make all of that money.” We don’t discount that this life was a choice and that it is hard and that it is what we asked for. This is our job, and our jobs change by the hour. We just want people to understand that owning your own business means that you are always ON, no matter where we are. Which includes vacation, lunch, sleeping… The table that came in today asked Kelly why she was never here. She chuckled and said, “I am always here, but usually in my office’” in which they replied “hiding?”. She was kind enough to smile.

While Kelly is waiting tables at lunch, I am watching her navigate the weekend schedule to work around the family emergency. A table is asking her a thousand questions about the building, the business, and the neighborhood, which I know she adores teaching people about, but the order needs to get sent to the kitchen, the drinks need to be made, the food needs to get ran, and both her personal phone and the business phones are ringing off the hook. I am secretly silencing her personal phone and hope

Collectively, we have owned 9 businesses and have over 25 years of ownership experience- including startups, buyouts, growth, and closures. We move past the “must be nices” and start getting real. Come along as we share the true story of small business owners and leave with another tool for the next time you feel alone on this journey. Business ownership also leads to unexpected knowledge: what YOU are an expert at! Reach out to gettingrealwithbossy@gmail.com and subscribe today! ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 133

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DEFINING LONGEVITY Psychological Health & Longevity Exploring the Connection BY LISA IRELAND

“As a mother of two young adults, my concerns naturally gravitate towards their psychological well-being. In today’s world, various factors converge to challenge our mental health. “

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“It is our mission at the Longevity Science Foundation (LSF) to make longevity medicine and care accessible, ultimately enabling people to live longer, healthier lives.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Introduction. As a mother of two young adults, my concerns naturally gravitate towards their psychological well-being. In today’s world, various factors converge to challenge our mental health. Every generation has had its share of trials and turbulence, but the issues that modern-day Americans encounter seem to be more nuanced and complex than ever. Statistics reflect the predicament we find ourselves in: the prevalence of generalized anxiety diagnoses and depression has been surging over the past two decades, affecting over a quarter of those aged over 18, according to the National Institute of Mental Health Disorders. Multiple components fuel the mental health crisis we experience. The abundance of overstimulating content disrupts our dopamine regulation, while inadequate physical activity takes a toll on our psychological health. Loneliness has reached epidemic levels, leaving individuals increasingly disconnected from their peers and their loved ones. New challenges continually emerge, further compounding mental health problems. My intent is not to demonize the current lifestyle options and the possibilities we are privileged to have at our disposal. Rather, I want to underline the fact that if we look at the daily habits of our compatriots across the country, we’ll find many opportunities and openings for mental health illnesses to creep in. The COVID-19 crisis and ongoing global conflicts have exacerbated these issues. Anxiety and depression diagnoses quadrupled during the pandemic, and while the COVID crisis has subsided, the prevalence of both conditions continues to go up. Given these circumstances,

addressing diseases that compromise our psychological well-being becomes crucial. It is our mission at the Longevity Science Foundation (LSF) to make longevity medicine and care accessible, ultimately enabling people to live longer, healthier lives. We look at the problems associated with psychological health through the lens of lifespan and healthspan optimization, as both life quality and expectancy show significant dependency on mental wellbeing. Our colleagues from the University of Oxford published a study suggesting a chilling conclusion: those with severe mental health illnesses face a decrease in life expectancy ranging from 10 to 20 years, equivalent to the impact of smoking over a pack of cigarettes a day. In addition, Time magazine reported several extensive cohort studies that, in turn, indicate that both men and women with mental health challenges live, on average, 10 and 7 years less, respectively. In this article, I want to look at the various ways mental health issues accelerate biological aging, examine the concept of psychological aging, the connections between aging biology and mental health, and suggest strategies for improvement. Self-perception and Psychological Age. Let’s begin by examining the implications of self-perception and our subjective understanding of age. In a 2020 paper published in Aging magazine, researchers Maria Mitina, Sergey Young, and our Scientific Advisor, Dr. Alex Zhavoronkov, investigated the concept of psychological aging and the impact of self-perception on biological processes. The steady global

increase in life expectancy allowed for a larger variability in our perception of age. People see themselves and others as younger or older than their chronological age suggests. Mitina, Young, and Zhavoronkov report that the subjective age we assign to ourselves significantly influences behavior, choices, well-being, and, ultimately, lifespan. Feeling younger is associated with improved mental and physical health, enhanced cognitive functions, and better outcomes in handling illnesses and their symptoms. The National University of Singapore carried out a study that illustrates the importance of subjective outlook. Their research focused on Chinese elders in Singapore, and their findings demonstrate that subjective assessments of life quality and well-being are inherently linked to health and longevity outcomes. Seniors in good health and high spirits have higher odds of survival than seniors with good health but a less optimistic outlook. Similarly, seniors with poor physical health but positive spirits have a greater chance of survival than their counterparts with poor physical health and negative perspectives. Mental Health and Biology of Aging. Biological aging, a driver of many debilitating diseases that escalate healthcare costs and national debts, stems from a complex amalgamation of different factors. The connection between biological aging and mental well-being goes beyond our tendencies to compromise health when affected by psychological issues. There are intricate biological processes that link psychological disorders and aging. To put it plainly, ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 139

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“Let’s begin by examining the implications of self-perception and our subjective understanding of age.” mental health problems affect our chemistry and make us age quicker. Research from King’s College London (KCL), an LSF partner institution, demonstrated that individuals affected by mental health illnesses have blood markers indicative of a higher biological age (relative to their chronological age). According to Julian Mutz, the postdoc research associate at KCL, those with anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorders were found to be biologically older by 0.7, 1, and 2 years, respectively. Mutz highlights that increased biological age in psychologically unwell individuals could also explain a different correlation: people with psychological conditions see a higher prevalence of age-related illnesses. In their previously-mentioned paper, Mitina, Young, and Zhavoronkov link stressful events with specific responses of the immune system. Stress can be a trigger for increased production of proinflammatory agents, small proteins that are, in turn, associated with various agerelated illnesses. This connection works the other way around, too: age-related 140

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diseases are often a major source of stress themselves. The authors also bring up the fact that depression corresponds with higher cortisol levels, eliciting negative responses from the immune system. A Call to Action. It is essential to realize your own capacity for personal health and lifespan optimization. Genetics do play a role, but it’s a lot smaller than commonly believed. What’s far more likely to have a profound impact on our health is epigenetics - our bodies’ response to environments and behaviors we subject them to. Mental well-being is a fundamental component of a long and healthy life, and a positive outlook along with healthy habits are tied to a variety of health benefits. Recalling our previous article on Blue Zones, a sense of purpose and meaningful existence bring down the likelihood of developing mental disorders and decrease mortality risks. Maintaining strong social ties and community involvement are other known ways of optimizing lifespan and healthspan.

As important as personal choices are, we cannot fight the ongoing mental health crisis without collective action. Venture capitalists, angel investors, and nonprofit organizations like ours help propel important therapies and treatments that aid humanity in tackling mental illnesses. The investment firm LongeVC, run by our founding team, is among those who recognize the importance of psychological well-being for longevity, investing in companies like Freedom Biosciences, which develops psychedelic-based therapeutics. Our organization, the LSF, had a grant call on psychedelics, allowing scientists all over the world to submit research aimed at solving brain health issues, including those of a psychological nature. The LSF, in collaboration with our first academic partner, KCL, and Aging Research at King’s (ARK), explores the intersection of longevity and mental health, promoting innovative approaches to complex and treatment-resistant conditions through psychedelics. Join us in the fight against psychological diseases and biological aging by supporting our work. Together, we will add years to our life and life to our years.

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COBBLESTONE YOU ARE ENOUGH. ARTS CENTER BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS PHOTOS NSP STUDIO PHOTO OF LORENEI BY SANDYBY ARENA

Championing Inclusivity and Collaborative Partnerships For four decades, Cobblestone Arts Center has been a beacon of artistic creativity, inclusivity, and empowerment in the picturesque community of Canandaigua, New York. Founded in 1983 by Lorene Benson and her husband, this nonprofit organization emerged from a passionate vision to fill the void of arts education and cultural enrichment in the area. Inspired by her background in dance from the Mercury Ballet in Rochester, Lorene identified a lack of arts programs upon her family’s move to Farmington. She stumbled upon a historic building in Victor, initially abandoned but later transformed into the vibrant space that now hosts a myriad of arts education programs. This transformation was a year-long endeavor, refurbishing each room to reflect its 1835 origins, before opening doors to 500 eager students and welcoming over 40 enthusiastic teachers. At the heart of Cobblestone’s success lies its unwavering commitment to 144

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inclusivity. The center’s programs extend far beyond traditional boundaries, actively engaging with diverse communities and advocating for equal opportunities in the arts. The wheelchair dance company, established in the 1980s, symbolizes the center’s pioneering spirit and dedication to breaking barriers. Through such initiatives, Cobblestone has not only provided a platform for individuals

with disabilities but has also sparked conversations about inclusivity and representation in the arts on a broader scale. Moreover, Cobblestone’s collaborative efforts with various local agencies, businesses, and civic bodies have

strengthened community ties and amplified the impact of their programs. Working hand-in-hand with the Town of Farmington, Victor, and local businesses like Corby’s Collision, Dunkin Donuts, CNB, and Nolan’s, the center has woven a robust network of support, fostering a culture of shared responsibility and collective growth. Over the years, the center has blossomed into an economic hub for artists, providing sustainable employment opportunities for over 60 staff members and serving as a space for local artists to teach and showcase their talents. With a keen focus on collaboration, Cobblestone engages with various agencies, businesses, and local organizations to ensure a holistic approach to community involvement and support. A Glimpse into the Future: Innovation and Expansion As Cobblestone gears up for its imminent expansion, the anticipation of increased enrollment and enhanced facilities marks an exciting chapter in its journey. The forthcoming addition of 3400 square feet not only signifies

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“The tireless efforts of Lorene and the entire team have not only transformed lives but have also set a precedent for arts education and inclusivity that extends far beyond their local sphere.” growth but also underscores the center’s dedication to accessibility and accommodation for all students, including those with disabilities. This expansion reflects Cobblestone’s proactive approach in meeting the rising demand for arts education while ensuring an inclusive learning environment. Looking ahead, the Winter Festival scheduled for December 9th promises to be an event celebrating local artistry, further bridging connections between the center, its artists, and the broader community. Simultaneously, the grand opening of new spaces symbolizes a milestone in Cobblestone’s evolution, a testament to its perseverance and adaptability over the years. Empowering the Next Generation Cobblestone’s impact goes beyond its physical space. Through initiatives like 148

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the summer camp employing teenagers and offering them opportunities to work alongside artists and students with disabilities, the center instills values of empathy, creativity, and leadership in the younger generation. These experiences not only foster personal growth but also equip young individuals with valuable skills and a sense of purpose, encouraging them to become catalysts for positive change within their communities. As Cobblestone celebrates 40 years of transformative impact, the center continues to serve as a shining example of how art can be a catalyst for change, empowerment, and boundless creativity. As Lorene continues her tireless advocacy for arts education and inclusivity, her vision extends beyond the confines of Canandaigua. Her efforts to collaborate with state

directors and Albany officials to replicate Cobblestone’s model in other agencies across New York State highlight a visionary approach to expand the reach and impact of inclusive arts education far and wide. In essence, Cobblestone Arts Center stands as a testament to the transformative power of art, fostering a community where creativity, compassion, and inclusivity thrive, creating ripples of positive change that resonate across generations and geographical boundaries. Expanding on Cobblestone Arts Center’s commitment to inclusivity, partnerships, expansion plans, community engagement, and empowering the next generation, this addition aims to provide a more comprehensive view of the center’s multifaceted impact and forwardthinking initiatives.

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BEHIND THE LENS WITH PHOTOGRAPHER ANDREA WESTERLUND

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“My process is crazy, I’ll admit it. Usually, it begins with me shouting “I HAVE A VISION!” to the nearest living creature (usually my cat). ” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Can you tell us about your specialty in photography and what sets it apart from other styles? When I first started with photography, I would take photos of anything and everything, but I was always drawn toward photos of people. So, as time went on, I found myself less satisfied with landscapes and more interested in portraits. My style developed entirely at random. It wasn’t a conscious decision, but as I was learning to edit, I just happened to edit all my photos in a certain way. There’s a richness to my photos that I like. I love contrast and bumping up that saturation! I tend to shoot in very rich locations as well — rich in terms of texture and color — definitely not affluence. If I had to identify a signature shot that represents my style, it would be “the laughing photo.” I love nothing more than capturing pure joy and authentic happiness with my camera. Those are the images I really love. How did your journey into photography begin, and what motivated you to pursue it as a career? I’ve been a social media gal for ages. I cannot count the number of Instagram accounts I’ve had over the years. For a long time, I took photos with my phone and a tripod, but finally (for my 32nd birthday), I bought myself

a DSLR camera. I fell in love. It was a “where have you been all my life” kind of moment. I almost wept because after 32 years I’d finally found “my thing” so to speak. I’ve always been a writer (as a hobby, passion, and as my career) so

I thought that’s what I was meant to do. But, I only enjoy writing when I’m writing about something I’m interested in. On the flip side, I would take boring corporate headshots all day and be happy as a clam. No part of the process bores me — I love it all!

Can you share some memorable moments or experiences from your photography career that have shaped your approach? There’s not a specific moment that has shaped my approach per se, but I will say that I’ve been lucky to work with models and regular people that just…enjoy having fun. Even the ones who are nervous about being in front of the camera can still have fun once we start shooting. One of my favorite “subjects” (and friend), Yaz, will just randomly start dancing during our shoots. Those are where some of the best shots come from. So, it’s always my personal mission to make my subjects laugh and have fun. That’s what I want most. Beautiful photos are great, but I want to make someone feel like a superstar having the best day of their life. That’s how I know I’ve done a good job. Describe your creative process when planning and executing a photo shoot. What goes into creating the perfect shot? My process is crazy, I’ll admit it. Usually, it begins with me shouting “I HAVE A VISION!” to the nearest living creature (usually my cat). I truly believe that inspiration strikes from on high, because I honestly don’t know where else these ideas come from. A lot of the time, I’ll get the most random ideas for photoshoots from music, other creatives, or even just the environment. I like to play and see what I can create. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 169

{ SHIFT+CONTROL BEHIND THEMOTHER LENS }} } } { LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT { ONE TOUGH “My favorite moments are what the model sees as “between shots.” The moments they aren’t posing, aren’t “ready,” maybe aren’t even looking at the camera.”

I drive or walk past something beautiful, I always snap a picture with my phone so that I can find the spot later. But the perfect shot always has the same three ingredients: epic light (golden hour if I can manage), a beautiful backdrop (flowers area always a plus), and a model who doesn’t take themselves too seriously. Rochester is known for its diverse landscapes. How has the local environment influenced your photography style? This has been FUN. Rochester is a photographer’s dream. You can shoot grungy, urban shots and then, 10 minutes later, be in a field of sunflowers. But, if anything, this diversity has helped to cement my style even more. I’ve discovered the things that I always include (texture, color, laughter) regardless of location. It’s helped me to become more confident in my style so that I can create work I love no matter the backdrop or location. And I’ve learned to look at the world with a photographer’s eye. I don’t see blank concrete walls or tall grass on the side of the road without also seeing how it could work in a photo. Could you share some of your favorite photography equipment or techniques that you rely on for your work? I feel like I’m just at the beginning of my photography journey (5 years in!), so I think of all my equipment as quite basic. Unless I’m shooting an event, I always shoot with a 50mm lens. It just makes everyone look amazing. And it’s the cheap “nifty fifty” too! You definitely don’t need fancy gear to create beautiful work. 170

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My camera is old, old, old (Canon SL2 — I’m a Canon girl for life). I don’t even think they make it anymore, and my lenses are all budget-friendly. But, light is the one thing I cannot shoot without. If you learn to look for “good” light and follow it, a beautiful photo will almost always come out of it. Find some shade, wait for a cloudy day, or head out during golden hour and you’re sure to find some beautiful shots. What challenges have you faced as a photographer, and how have you overcome them? My biggest challenge has been purely mental. When you’re a new photographer, it’s so easy to go online and think “Well, I need this camera and these lenses…now I need lights and I never went to school for this.” All that is complete and utter crapola. People are making a full-time living creating content with a smartphone. No one needs the $10,000 camera. They’re nice, sure, but you don’t need it to create great work. I’ve learned that the important part is me and my technique and style, rather than any equipment I have or don’t have. After all, there’s hundred and hundred of models of cameras and lenses and lights. There’s only one me. Your portfolio includes a wide range of subjects, from portraits to landscapes. Do you have a favorite type of photography, and if so, why? Portraits, portraits, portraits. I love photographing people. There’s just so much variety that I feel a landscape or nature scene doesn’t give. Humans are complex and interesting to me, so I love taking pictures of them.

Who are some photographers or artists that inspire you and have had a significant impact on your work? I really love fashion photography. Annie Leibowitz and Ellen von Unwerth are favorites. Street photographers are really inspiring as well. Trevor Wisecup and Sean Tucker are great. But I also get inspired a lot by just normal content creators. Allegra Shaw, Alana Davison, Zoe Sugg. They all shoot their own content or work with photographers to create beautiful images. But the reason they’re so inspiring is that they have such a distinct style. Regardless of who’s taking the photo, the content always looks cohesive. Also, I absolutely can’t answer this question without mentioning Hope Taylor. She’s an educator in the photography space, and has been a huge inspiration to me. In the age of digital photography and social media, how do you maintain a unique and recognizable style in your images? This is a potential trap that everyone falls into I think. It’s impossible these days to be truly original, but I think if you focus on images that make you smile as an artist and make others smile, then you’ll be fine. No one can ever take the exact same photo twice. There will be someone out there copying your style or you’ll unknowingly recreate a shot that’s already been done. But it’s still your work. I think steering clear of the overdone models and locations is a good start, but if you love something (even if it’s been done a thousand times), just do it. There’s no new idea under the sun, but each photographer

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“But I also get inspired a lot by just normal content creators. Allegra Shaw, Alana Davison, Zoe Sugg. They all shoot their own content or work with photographers to create beautiful images. ” is unique in their vision so it all comes out in the wash. Can you walk us through the process of capturing the perfect candid moment during a portrait session? The process is so simple: never stop shooting. Model fixing her hair in her cell phone…snap it! Walking to the next destination? Snap a few photos! My favorite moments are what the model sees as “between shots.” The moments they aren’t posing, aren’t “ready,” maybe aren’t even looking at the camera. I take hundreds of photos in a session and usually deliver around 60 to a client. At least half of my memory card is filled with unusable shots (eyes closed, weird expressions, etc.), but between the weird…that’s where the magic happens.

Do you have any advice for aspiring photographers looking to establish themselves in the industry? There’s a lot of discrepancy on this in the photography world. Some say you should never shoot for free. Some say that’s the only way to get started. I’m in the latter camp. Get a camera and shoot anyone and everything you can. If people are your desired subject, approach local businesses and offer to help them create content for social media. Local boutiques and restaurants always need to create more content to promote their business. Offer them a free hour in exchange for credit on their social media. If you want to photograph seniors and families, start going to your local schools’ sporting events and shooting there. Share the images on social media and tag anyone you

can identify. Collaborate, collaborate, collaborate. You’ll become a household name in no time and that when you can slowly start charging for your services. What projects or goals do you have for Blossom Photography in the future? Any exciting plans you can share? I’m planning on starting holiday minisessions this year! I’m so excited. It can be so hard (especially with kids) to sit down for an entire hour-long photo session. These mini-sessions will let busy families pop in for 15 minutes, get that perfect Christmas card photo and be on their way. Keep on eye on Blossom.Photography for news on that. Or sign up to my email list to be the first to know! ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 175

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“No one needs the $10,000 camera. They’re nice, sure, but you don’t need it to create great work.” Finally, could you share a memorable story or experience from one of your recent photography sessions that left a lasting impression on you? I was recently shooting with an aspiring model who admitted she always hates 176

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photos of herself. I hear that a lot. So, I just did my thing and when she saw the photos, she was overjoyed! She said “I never like photos of myself, but I look amazing!” That wasn’t just me, she’s a gorgeous girl, but that’s

why I do this: I want people to see what I see — that they’re amazing, beautiful, and 100% worthy of some professional photos.

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{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } {{ SHIFT+CONTROL MINUTES MATTER }} “We don’t JUST do hair. Yes, it is our main focus, but every part of the RocHaus Collective Modern Organic Luxe design was purposely curated to stimulate creativity and community.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Can you introduce RocHaus Collective and explain how the concept of combining art and a salon came about? Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve had a unique ability to see beauty in ALL things. I’ve been blessed with a wild imagination and heightened perception. I am a collector of found objects. Even a uniquely shaped smooth stone or tiniest fallen leaf catches my attention as a rare thing of Beauty to behold. Hair is just an extension of that artistic point of view. The RocHAUS Collective (RHC) is a combination of all my favorite things under one roof. Stunning interior design, heartfelt connections with people, inspired art, delicious food, bespoke drinks, and of course, hair services. Our salon was created to offer a premier experience! Our focus is to provide the highest level of service and quality to our clients. I feel so Blessed to be where I am today. Most people do not start a new business at 55 years old. I have a passion for empowering everyone around me to be their best. I am beyond grateful for everyone who helped me get here. You can never fail with a great team around you. I also give GOD all the glory. The Best is yet to come. We look forward to your visiting our new home. What are the core services offered at RocHaus Collective, and how do they intertwine with the art concept?

At its core RHC is a HAIR Salon. We offer standard hair services such as highlighting, modern color, balayage and precision cuts, but we want our clients to have an experience beyond your average salon. We worked to create a place that offers not only great service, but a place where people WANT to come to get

pampered, reconnect, relax, shop, and feel a sense of community. When clients enter our home, we want them to feel welcomed and inspired. Could you share a bit about the creator, Toni Coleman, including

your background and experience in the beauty industry? My name is Toni Coleman, I am the founder & creator of RocHAUS Collective Boutique Salon. I am a Rochester native, a wife, a mom, a chef, and a creative soul. I’ve been a successful hairstylist here for over 30 years. Early on in my career, I was fortunate to work as an international traveling stylist teaching advanced education to other Hairdressers. Over the years, I’ve worked and trained under the guidance of some of the WORLD’S TOP hairdressers. Through my dedication, commitment, and natural talent, I’ve become a master stylist. I have experience working with a wide range of hair types, textures and trends; however, I am naturally drawn to and love creating through color. To me, it’s a form of art. My experience coupled with my love of people opened many doors for me, and I’ve had the pleasure of serving some of Rochester’s most elite families. What sets RocHaus Collective apart from other spas and salons in the area? We don’t JUST do hair. Yes, it is our main focus, but every part of the RocHaus Collective Modern Organic Luxe design was purposely curated to stimulate creativity and community. Nowadays, so many clients bring their laptop with them to appointments. I knew without a doubt that I wanted a large wooden communal dining table for them to work at comfortably. On our first day, I watched two complete strangers connect and engage in deep conversation while ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 181

{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } { SHIFT+CONTROL } “Every moment that I get to genuinely connect with another human being makes me feel truly happy. In making someone feel beautiful, heard, and cared for, I find peace that heals me too.”

sipping homemade lattes with biscotti from our beverage station. Our space is filled with many organic textiles, vintage finds, and both local & internationally sourced beautiful art and jewelry. Each time you come you will DISCOVER something New. Are there any unique specialties or signature treatments that clients can experience at your establishment? Hair is a texture, not a race. As an African American woman, I grew up as a minority in my suburb. I know firsthand what it feels like to be singled out for being different which is why I created an allinclusive salon and a place where anyone can come to get their hair done and feel welcome. I love incorporating specialty scalp massages and deep conditioning treatments into my hair service routines. This can boost blood flow circulation contributing to stress relief and overall healthy hair growth. Every moment that I get to genuinely connect with another human being makes me feel truly happy. In making someone feel beautiful, heard, and cared for, I find peace that heals me too. We also made the conscious decision to use many environmentally friendly products in our shop. RHC offers several different color options for even the most sensitive clients. We are so excited to say our salon uses ECHOHEADS in our shampoo bowls. These help to filter out both physical sediments and harmful chemicals, but most importantly, reduces water and energy usage by up to 65%. We have also installed an air scrubber that works throughout the entire salon to purify the air. It helps to remove viruses, bacteria, and other contaminants from the air and on surfaces. We’ve also 182

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partnered with Neuma, the cleanest haircare company. Their products are 100% vegan, containing no synthetic fragrances or toxic chemicals EVER. We’ve created an environment that nurtures your hair, skin and soothes your spirit, knowing that we are helping to sustain Our planet. The name “RocHaus Collective” is distinctive. How did you come up with this name, and does it hold any special meaning? Choosing a name that reflected everything that I felt in my heart was no easy task. But one night, it came so clearly to me in a dream, and when I awoke, I knew it was absolutely perfect. I adore Rocks. I collect them wherever we travel. They are my touchstones. My personal memory keepers. I love how gorgeous marble is formed. It’s a metamorphosis, a result of a combination of rocks under extreme intense pressure and temperatures, causing a change to its texture and make up. Life will ebb & flow. Presenting many trials and tribulations. But this gives opportunity for New Transformative Moments. God is my ROCK and Foundation. The name RocHAUS Collective is to foremost honor HIM. It’s also a play on Rochester, my hometown. I knew right away that this space would be more than just a Salon. It would be a Social gathering spot uniting people from our community. I just love how the German spelling of house is so bold. HAUS-represents the fact that us stylists NEEDED a home. I wanted to create a safe haven and oasis for hairdressers and clients alike. Collective because the salon would be a collaboration of many independent artist joining forces under one roof.

What inspired you to choose the Pittsford area as the location for your salon and spa? Owning my own salon wasn’t always part of my life plan, but as we all know, life is ever changing. About four months ago, the salon I worked at for 20 years decided to close. After a lot of prayer, self-reflection, soul-searching, and encouragement from friends and family (mixed with a little fear), I realized it was time for a pivot. After that, everything just started falling into place and aligning and that’s how I knew I was on the right path. Available business space opened TWO doors down from where I was working. It wasn’t even listed yet, but it just called out to me. So, I, along with the incredible TRIBE of women that I worked with on a daily basis for over 10 years, KNEW this was a sign and that it was meant to be; I had to do it. I had to open my own salon. And you know what? When things are meant to be, everything falls into place just as it should with ease and grace. We had a very short amount of time to complete construction and open our doors. Fortunately, each one of my colleagues and their families had the exact skills that were necessary to build RHC - a plumber, electrician, printer, mason and landscape architect. Can you believe that we completed this entire project in 12 short weeks? This was beyond coincidence. It was DESTINY. And now we are still all together, but in a new, fresh space. Your tagline is “luxury hair, boutique, lifestyle.” Can you elaborate on what this means and the experience you aim to provide to clients? We strive for collaboration not competition. We take pride in not

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“ Ever since I was a LITTLE GIRL, I’ve had a unique ability to see BEAUTY IN ALL things.

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{ LOCAL { SHIFT+CONTROL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } } “Our salon was created to offer a premier experience! Our focus is to provide the highest level of service and quality to our clients.”

only providing exceptional services, but also building lasting and meaningful relationships. When you walk through our doors, we see you as more than just a client, and we strive to provide an atmosphere where you leave a friend. If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be, and why do you feel these words represent you? Magnamic – my personality is larger than life. I attract and bring people together.

One of my friends recently described me as part artist, part magician, part life coach, part community facilitator and all heart.

Can you share some success stories or memorable moments you’ve had while running RocHaus Collective? We’ve officially been open for less than a week, but you would never know it. The salon has been busy and full of life from the moment we opened our doors. On our opening day, there were so many flowers from clients, friends and family that it looked more like a florist shop than a salon. The outpouring of support has been humbling. Each chair was full and, we sold so many of our home décor and gift items that we already have to order more.

Could you tell us more about the artistic elements incorporated into RocHaus Collective and how they enhance the client experience? When you enter RHC, it feels like the lobby of a high-end hotel. Every detail was purposely curated, and carefully hand selected to stimulate a relaxing, but creative atmosphere. Everywhere you look, your eyes are met with a refined artisanal style. From the gorgeous handmade Moroccan Zellige tile at the beverage station to the oversized brass arch mirrors

Toni, how do you keep up with the latest trends and innovations in the beauty and salon industry to ensure that your clients receive cutting-edge services? Our staff has worked together for over 10 years which is an absolute rarity in the beauty industry. We are committed to our craft, ensuring that every visit to our space is an exceptional experience filled with top notch customer service. We continually attend Advanced education to stay focused on the latest trends

Loyal – I am true to myself, my friends, my family, my colleagues and my clients. Artistic – I am very artistic individual from not only the hair I style and color but the food I make, the space I design and decorate, to the clothing I wear. I have an eye and appreciation for beauty with a little bit of flair.

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at the styling stations to the natural marble orbital light scones. To me, these are not just tiles or mirrors or lights. The tile represents how we each embody beauty even within our imperfections, the mirrors are reminiscent of traveling through a tunnel with light reflecting to create continuous movement and the sconces represent the moon directing our paths through darkness. These are just a few examples. You’ll have to come visit us for the full experience!

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023

and innovations within the salon industry. We will be hosting Many in Salon classes featuring talented artists from all over the World. This also provides us the opportunity to connect with other salons in our area. Can you give us a glimpse into any upcoming projects or expansions for RocHaus Collective that readers can look forward to? We have a lot of fun events planned around food, jewelry and lifestyle, so be sure to follow us on Instagram @rochauscollective or visit our website at rochaus.salon

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KIM IS

MANIFESTING BY KIM FISCHER

Embracing Fear: How to Boss Up Even When You’re Shakin’ in Your Boots

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“Alright, let’s get real. Fear ain’t exactly a confidence booster, especially when you’re trying to rock the leadership game.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Alright, let’s get real. Fear ain’t exactly a confidence booster, especially when you’re trying to rock the leadership game. But guess what? It’s in those spine-tingling moments of fear that the true leaders strut their stuff. Here’s the lowdown on how embracing fear and taking action despite your jitters can morph you into the badass leader you were born to be. 1. Flaunt Your Vulnerability Yep, you heard that right. Vulnerability is your secret weapon. Embrace your fears like a boss, and watch how it builds bridges with your team. Show ‘em that even the big shots have their wobbly moments. It’s a power move that screams authenticity and builds a solid foundation of trust within your crew.

their pulses race. Spark a culture of boldness and innovation that’s not afraid to trip and fall because, hey, that’s where the juiciest lessons are hiding.

and bring home the bacon. Lead by example and watch how your crew rallies around your bold moves, ready to take on the world with their hair on fire.

4. Bounce Back Like a Boss Life’s gonna knock you down, but leaders bounce back higher than ever. Show your team how it’s done by embracing the stumbles and turning

6. Serve Up Some Empathy Feeling the fear ain’t just about you; it’s about getting in sync with your team’s struggle bus. Let your own vulnerabilities open the floodgates of empathy and understanding. Create a safe haven where your squad feels seen and heard, and watch how that empathy fountain turns your workplace into a hotbed of camaraderie and kickass collaboration.

2. Grow Some Guts Courage isn’t about being fearless; it’s about flexing those muscles when your knees are knocking. Channel your inner daredevil and show your team what it means to take risks with a swaggy swagger. A leader who’s all about courage sets the tone for a squad that’s ready to conquer the world, one heartpounding leap at a time.

them into killer dance moves. A resilient leader knows that setbacks are just pit stops on the road to greatness. Bounce back, baby, and show ‘em how it’s done.

3. Dare ‘Em to Dream Big Taking action despite your fears sends a clear message: “We ain’t scared of dreaming big around here!” Encourage your crew to kick their comfort zones to the curb and take risks that make

5. Lead the Rebellion Time to ditch the stale leadership manuals and lead your rebel yell. Actions speak louder than words, so show your crew what it means to hustle hard, grind with passion,

7. Own Your Glow-Up Chase that fear like it’s the last bus home, and watch how it shapes you into a lean, mean leadership machine. Embrace the challenges, smack them in the face with your can-do attitude, and watch how your personal growth becomes the North Star for your whole crew. Show ‘em how it’s done, and watch ‘em follow suit with their own glow-ups. 8. Spark the Revolution Your fear-facing antics aren’t just for show; they’re a spark that ignites the revolution within your squad. Your journey from scaredy-cat to lioness is a story worth telling, and it’s one that inspires your crew to kick their fears to the curb. Be the ignition switch that sets the fire of determination ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 191

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“Chase that fear like it’s the last bus home, and watch how it shapes you into a lean, mean leadership machine.” blazing, and watch how your squad turns into a force to be reckoned with. In Conclusion... When you grab fear by the horns and ride it like a wild stallion, you’re not just leading; you’re becoming the fearless leader your team needs. So, 192

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toss aside those doubts, show ‘em what you’re made of, and watch as your journey from fear to fierceness shapes not just your leadership style, but the entire culture of your squad. Time to strut your stuff and show ‘em who’s boss.

For more information, reach out to Kim Fischer at https:// kimismanifesting.mykajabi.com/

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YOU LOVE, ARE FERN ENOUGH. BAKERY BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Can you tell us a bit about the story behind Love, Fern Bakery and how it all began? About three years ago, I picked up a piping bag for the first time in twelve years and fell in love with designing edible works of art. Love, Fern got its name and high-quality tastes, ingredients, and standards from my family legacy. What inspired you to start a bakery in Rochester? I had worked at a local bakery that taught me the basics of cake decorating, many years ago when sugar cookies were no where near popular yet. I dabbled in the craft and I had a lot to learn still. As time went on, cookies grew in popularity as did means of learning and creating these works of art. I knew it was something I wanted to be part of. What makes Love, Fern Bakery unique compared to other bakeries in the area? I was named after my late grandmother, Fern who was an incredible cook and even better baker. Everything that leaves my kitchen from the baked goods down to each ingredient, the packaging, and tags is a love letter direct from me to you. Signed, Love, Fern. I think you can taste the love put into everything the moment you take a bite. It makes a difference and sets my product apart.

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Could you share some of your most popular specialties or signature treats? I started with hot cocoa bombs which have their signature edible glitter to add a little pizazz, and of course, my most popular decorated sugar cookies but have expanded over the years to add “drop” cookies , gourmet chocolate chip cookie cakes with decorated cookies on top and my most prized mastery yet: French macarons. I also do cupcakes, cakes,

cake push pops (my creation), and cake pops from time to time. Do you have any unique or seasonal items that customers should look out for? Yes!! I do holiday pop-ups for Halloween— where it all began, Thanksgiving (presale is up on my website now), Christmas (my favorite holiday— just call me Mrs.Clause), and beyond! Keep an eye on www. lovefernbakery.com and sign up for

my newsletter to keep track of popups, seasonal offerings, and more! What’s the most challenging aspect of running a bakery, and how do you overcome it? I am a very small operation and it is essentially just my mom helping me (thanks Mom!) with baking and I do ALL the decorating myself. Being a one-woman show can be challenging but, my love of what I do and passion for seeing my customers smile makes all the late nights worth it. Could you describe the atmosphere or vibe of your bakery for our readers? If Mackenzie Childs decorated a bakery and it smelled of all your favorite comforting sweets and treats with a cute crazy puppy to keep you company, that is my bakery. It is also my home and I pride myself on keeping a clean, comfortable, loving atmosphere I think people can taste the love and effort I put into everything I make. Are there any special events or promotions that customers can look forward to at your bakery? Absolutely!! As mentioned above, my Thanksgiving holiday presale is going on now and I will also have my Christmas presale which includes a cookie advent calendar everyone is sure to love!

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“Being a one-woman show can be challenging but, my love of what I do and passion for seeing my customers smile makes all the late nights worth it.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

How do you source your ingredients, and do you prioritize using local or sustainable options? I am a firm believer in scratch-made being the best. I buy the top-of-the-line ingredients and if I need something and don’t have it or can’t buy it? I make it! I have a passion for canning fruits & veggies and that has helped my bakery! I made fresh blueberry jam from locally picked berries and used that for the filling in some blueberry macarons. I truly believe it’s the attention to detail and knowing every ingredient I use individually that sets my bakery apart. I put my very best into everything I make and if it’s not good enough? I remake it. What do you love most about being part of the Rochester community and serving its residents? I grew up right here in the community that I get to serve and there is something really special about that. Rochester is a city to watch for sure. We have such an eclectic population and are an absolute foodie destination (garbage plate, anyone?!) I love being a part of such an incredible food scene! Not only do I get to contribute to it but,

I learn so much from other amazing chefs and businesses right here in Rochester and that is invaluable.

make cookies for her and to be able to partner with such an amazing local business like Comedy at the Carlson!

Can you share a memorable customer story or interaction that stands out

What is your personal favorite holiday or special occasion to celebrate at Love, Fern Bakery? It’s got to be a tie between Halloween and Christmas. I adore Spooky Season and Hocus Pocus is one of my all-time favorite movies. Not to mention, my very first Love, Fern pop-up was on Halloween, it holds a special place in my heart business-wise but, I have always loved Christmas. I love how cozy it is, I love the true magic that makes you feel like a kid again and I love the spirit of giving and gratitude that comes with the season. I love making people smile and I love bringing people together through my baked goods.

to you? Every customer is my most important customer but, one that sticks out to me is being able to make cookies for one of my all-time favorite comedians: Fortune Feimster. It was an honor to

Are there any upcoming projects, collaborations, or expansions that you’d like to share with our readers? Yes! My website will be stocked all December with goodies available within 48 hours. A Christmas presale for decorated cookies will be coming soon as well. Text “cookies” to 585-469-6277 for updates! Keep an eye on my social media and website to ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 201

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“Everything that leaves my kitchen from the baked goods down to each ingredient, the packaging, and tags is a love letter direct from me to you. Signed, Love, Fern.” see where I’ll be popping up next! I’m open to joining any holiday markets or events if anyone wants or needs a bakery to join too! How do you stay inspired and innovative in the world of baking and pastries? I’m a Pinterest girl. I love looking up ideas online and seeing how I can put my spin on them with decor and recipes. I also get lots of amazing 202

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requests from my clients and I love helping to bring their vision to life! Lastly, who or what has been your biggest source of inspiration in starting and running Love, Fern Bakery? That would have to be my late grandmother, Fern. Although I never met her, I carry her name and feel a connection to her, especially when I’m baking and creating or tweaking

her recipes to make them better. She as well as my mom have been an integral part of my journey. The success of my business wouldn’t be possible without the help of my mom. I’m so thankful to come from a line of such strong, passionate women.

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VITA BELLA ORGANIC SALON

“Our biggest goal is for them to come in & relax while knowing their self care is a healthy choice.”

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“All of the products we use are eco friendly and sustainable for environment while always being recycled!” BY NICOLE HEROUX I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO PHOTOSWILLIAMS BY ANDREA WESTERLUND

Can you start by telling us a little bit about yourself and your background in the salon industry? I am 53 yrs old, a mom of 3 adult children Abby, a Nicu nurse in Pittsburgh Pa, Andrew a junior at University of Dayton and Gillian a sophomore at Syracuse University. I have 5 furry kids and a wonderful supportive husband Brian . I have been a hairstylist for over 30 yrs working at salons in Rochester then at home while my children were growing up and now an owner of Vita Bella Organic Salon. What inspired you to start Vita Bella Organic Salon, and how did the idea come to fruition? The idea came when I realized I had created a safer, chemical free environment for my family and home and doing hair wasn’t the same experience. Using the colors; sprays chemical services was undoing all the practices I was utilizing in my house. I knew there must be a safer yet effective solution . I researched some other salons /products and discovered I could create that safe environment for my clients and decided it was time to find a property and open my own place . Could you share the main focus and philosophy behind Vita Bella Organic Salon? The main focus is first the client having a personalized experience, Our salon has separate rooms for all of our service

providers. Our clients receive one on one attention in a relaxing space . We want their visit to be be more of an experience instead of just a hair appointment. Our philosophy & goal is to provide a safe and chemical free experience because everything we put on our bodies gets into our bloodstream. Why did you choose to emphasize organic products and practices in your salon? Everything we put on our bodies/scalp has an impact on our overall health

and the future of our longevity. Our country unfortunately allows too many chemicals in our foodand our skincare products; we need to take control and find products that are safer and cleaner; less odor, better for us and better for the environment. Becoming a woman-owned business in the salon industry is noteworthy. What motivated you to take this path?

Thank you; I always admired my mom who devoted her whole life to her family but it dawned on me she never did anything for herself. I have the same values as she did , my family is my number one priority but I also wanted an opportunity to make a difference in the world and use my talents to help my clients while being an example for my children. How do you believe being a womanowned business contributes to the unique identity of Vita Bella Organic Salon? As women we need to be advocates for our health on so many levels. I want to not only give my woman and male clients the safest experience but also to be an inspiration for the younger generation to pursue their passion in the healthiest manner possible. What sets Vita Bella Organic Salon apart from other salons in Rochester? Walking in the door people always comment “How Amazing it smells!”Always have essential oils or one of our locally made candles going! We have created a small boutique styled intimate space, rich in East Rochester history. We give one on one attention not only for their hair but their overall health as well. We have a retail area that we allow local business owners /artisans to sell their products free of charge . We want your time at Vita Bella to be an experience not just a hair appointment. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 205

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“As women we need to be advocates for our health on so many levels! “ BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Can you describe some of the organic products and treatments clients can expect at your salon? We use Oway hair color and styling products from Italy . Farm to salon is their motto; everything is grown/fair traded or biodynamically created. No ammonia /peroxide; no smell ever! We also use So Pure color from keune /Neuma styling products . We love enhancing our clients hair with beautiful rich colors; very safe highlights ( no bleach) and precision haircuts. We also have a barber , Matt Alampi he’s been in East Rochester community for many years! Some of our favorite services include Scalp Treatments where we can see your scalp with our Tricho-derm analyzer ( 700xmagnificstion) We do a wonderful relaxing scalp treatment in our exclusive room with steam & scalp massage. Sustainability is becoming increasingly important. How does Vita Bella Organic Salon incorporate eco-friendly practices into its operations? All of the products we use are eco friendly and sustainable for environment while always being recycled! Most glass bottles; limited packaging & our cleaning products are environmentally friendly too . 208

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Could you share some of the most popular services or treatments offered at your salon? Clients come for safer hair color option; whether it’s personal choice, illness; pregnancy or sensitivities! Most people

What is your personal favorite service to provide, and why? I love transformations. Changing someone’s overall look; giving them a new layer of confidence while educating them on all the information and products I’ve learned over the years to maintain their new style. How do you ensure that Vita Bella Organic Salon remains up-todate with the latest beauty and wellness trends? We definitely still go to classes whether in person or online; education is key in the beauty industry and it changes quite often. I’m always reading and researching to know what’s happening and how we can improve our practices and the products we offer. What can clients expect in terms of the overall experience when they visit your salon? Our biggest goal is for them to come in and relax while knowing their self care is a healthy choice.

don’t even know that there are safer choices and this was our goal to share that you can cover grey hair without all the harsh chemicals.

Are there any special events or promotions that Vita Bella Organic Salon offers throughout the year? We try to host different events either

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“The idea came when I realized I had created a safer, chemical free environment for my family and home and doing hair wasn’t the same experience.” promoting new services or having guest speakers educate our clients on alternative health approaches; like Ayurveda. One of my favorites! Love hosting holiday events all while hoping to give back to our clients for their loyalty and support. Can you tell us about any community or charitable initiatives that your salon is involved in? We donate to all local Eastrochester events /fundraisers; we collect food for our East Rochester community resource center . We also engage with other

salons in the area to make donations for the homeless community . What future plans or expansions do you have in mind for Vita Bella Organic Salon? Right now we are in a good place ; still growing and hoping to continue to educate our community on healthier beauty alternatives; that’s the biggest goal. Finally, what advice would you give to aspiring entrepreneurs, especially women, looking to start their own

business in the beauty industry? I would say “don’t let anyone tell you you can’t!” Listen to that little voice! I opened this salon with only 10 clients; no business experience & only one other stylist. When something feels right have faith and go for it! It’s taken awhile; lots of ups and downs but I’m so proud to call this mine and to be able make a difference in my little corner of the world. Check us out at vitabellaer.com

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DR. ASHLEY CROSS & YOUTHE AREHUB585 ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Can you share the mission and vision behind theHub585 and how it came to be? The mission of The Hub585 is to provide a relationship centered community for marginalized youth and their families to hope, heal and thrive. Our vision is to see a restored community where youth and their families have moved from systemic trauma to a place of power and belonging.

Can you describe the challenges families often face in navigating through a complex system, and how does your organization provide support? Navigating through a complex system can be an overwhelming and daunting challenge for many families. The intricacies of government agencies, legal requirements, and social services often leave families feeling lost and

What inspired the choice of the name “theHub585” for your organization? Honestly, I originally wanted the brand to communicate that we were a “Hub of resources” for youth and families. We have recently gone through an extensive strategic planning process that really defines our real identity as an organization. So, now we are in the process of rebranding our organization to match that brand. Stay tuned Could you tell us a bit about your background and what motivated you to start this initiative? Very long story short, my grandmother is the pioneer of my family and began fostering when I was a very young child. Since then, everyone in my family has done foster care. So, this is not a career for me, it’s a passion, a calling, a lifestyle. My bio and story can be found at https://www.thehub585.org/aboutthe-founder/

frustrated. At The Hub585, we understand these challenges and have made it our mission to provide vital support to guide families through these complexities. Our dedicated team offers a compassionate and knowledgeable hand to help families access the resources and services they need. We provide advocacy and guidance in dealing with various agencies and organizations, simplifying the process

and ensuring families can access the support they deserve. Additionally, through our hope-centered curriculum we focus on preparing youth in foster care for adulthood. Our commitment is to stand by youth and families, alleviate their burdens, and help them build a path towards a brighter future. By offering a supportive and understanding community, we enable families to not only survive but thrive in the face of challenges within the complex system. What types of programs and services does theHub585 offer to the community? Our organization is dedicated to delivering comprehensive support programs that address the essential needs of youth and families on three crucial fronts: physical, relational, and familial support. Through our CarePortal initiative, we bridge the gap by connecting families involved in the system with compassionate community members who can provide the assistance they require. In addition to this, we run a diverse set of programs to cater to the specific needs of youth in foster care. Our mentoring program offers guidance and support, while our dynamic summer camp provides a healing environment. We also offer respite services for youth in foster care, giving them the essential breaks they need. For those in crisis situations, we ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 213

SHIFT+CONTROL { {WOMAN TO WATCH} } “Our mentoring program offers guidance and support, while our dynamic summer camp provides a healing environment.”

extend a compassionate hand through our crisis support and counseling program. But our latest milestone is the inauguration of our Community Supported Foster Home, a beacon of hope for teenage girls on the brink of aging out of the foster care system. At The Hub585, our commitment is unwavering, and our programs are designed to create a network of care, providing a foundation upon which youth and families can build a brighter future. Could you share some success stories or examples of families your organization has helped? Darnell came to the Hub585 as a Camp Hope participant. Throughout the 7 week Summer Camp, Darnell struggled to adjust to the program rhythm and expectations. Only a few days into the program, the staff learned that Darnell was in the middle of a transition between foster care and returning home to be with his mother. Once learning this, The Hub585 staff quickly connected to Darnell’s mother to see how our program and staff could best support them during the transition. She voiced struggling getting Darnell to camp because their transportation was still in the process of being approved. So, in the meantime The Hub58 began providing Darnell with transportation to camp to ensure he arrived on time and was able to begin the day with his peers. Still, Darnell struggled. He showed up for most of the 7 weeks tired, and unmotivated to participate in the program. In fact, Darnell was unable to participate in the final field trip of the camp and missed an 214

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opportunity to go to Seabreeze with everyone else. Darnell’s lack of motivation and program engagement was only a sign to our staff that Darnell needed more support, more time, and more consistency. This lead our staff to reach out to Darnell’s mother and see if Darnell would like to participate in our Life Launch Mentoring Program. To our surprise, Darnell wanted to participate and completed the full mentee onboarding process. Since August 2022, Darnell has been matched with a married couple, the Liquori’s. He has consistently met with his mentors and our program staff and now his mother reports an immense change in Darnell’s disposition and behavior. But that is not all, Darnell’s mother shared her appreciation for the support that has wrapped around her and Darnell. She recently reported that she is about to purchase her first car and is planning a road trip with Darnell and his siblings that will be their first family vacation. Through our hope-centered and restorative approaches, Darnell and his mother now have a community and a safety net. Because of our philosophy that “hope is a social gift,” Darnell and his mother will always know where they can find hope. What partnerships or collaborations have been instrumental in achieving your mission? Our partnership with the Department of Human Services is absolutely pivotal

to our mission. We firmly believe that the collective resources within the community, local churches, and faith-based organizations are more than sufficient to offer the support and care that system-involved families require. As a result, we’re dedicated to forging a community-driven response, placing the emphasis on the power of the community rather than relying solely on government intervention. Furthermore, our strong collaborations with esteemed organizations, including the Society for the Protection and Care of Children, Encompass, Black Men Achieve, The Boys and Girls Club, and Teen Empowerment, bolster our efforts and ensure a more comprehensive and effective approach to supporting and empowering youth and families in need. These partnerships help us create a network of resources and expertise that can truly make a difference in the lives of those we serve. How do you envision the future of theHub585 and its role in the community? My vision for The Hub585 is to be at the forefront of a transformative movement. We envision ourselves as the catalysts, igniting a communitywide response to address the plight of children facing neglect due to the profound impact of poverty, racism, and isolation. We are driven to play a pivotal role in cultivating a movement that empowers our community to rally together, becoming champions in the mission to restore and fortify families in need. Our aim is nothing short of creating lasting, positive change, while inspiring others to join us in this crucial endeavor.

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{ {WOMAN TO WATCH} } SHIFT+CONTROL “Our dedicated team offers a compassionate and knowledgeable hand to help families access the resources and services they need.”

Are there any upcoming projects or initiatives that you’re particularly excited about? I’m particularly thrilled about our new initiative, the Community Supported Foster Home, designed specifically for teenage girls on the verge of aging out of foster care. In Monroe County, the stark reality is that out of 228 foster homes, only 9 are take teenagers, making this project an absolutely critical endeavor. The data speaks volumes, revealing the odds that youth aging out of foster care face - from homelessness and poverty to the perils of incarceration. Our mission is to help address these odds and provide a hope centered approach that helps prepare youth for adulthood. Can you elaborate on the impact of theHub585 on the local community and its residents? At our core, our mission is to cultivate a relationship-centered community. We firmly believe that the most precious resource on the planet is relationships. It’s our unwavering conviction that families grappling with poverty and ultimately caught in the cycle of child neglect haven’t consciously chosen the lives they lead. Their circumstances have arisen because, unlike many of us, they lack the meaningful connections and safety nets that are so often taken for granted. The Hub585 is at the forefront of making a significant impact by

helping youth and families transition from a state of crisis to a network of meaningful connections. We are dedicated to providing the essential relationships that can serve as the cornerstone for these individuals’ transformation, empowering them to break free from the grip of adversity and build a future filled with hope and opportunities.

What advice would you give to individuals or organizations looking to make a positive difference in their communities? It’s essential to recognize that the responsibility for addressing the challenges in our community doesn’t rest solely on the shoulders of one individual or organization. It’s a shared endeavor that demands the

active participation of everyone. Never underestimate the incredible power and significance of your involvement. Each person’s contribution, no matter how small it may seem, is a vital building block in our collective effort to create positive change and make our community a better place for all. How can community members get involved or support theHub585’s work? The initial step towards making a difference is to join one of our enlightening Vision Tours, offered free of charge. These tours provide a deeper understanding of our impactful work and how you can get involved. We host these tours on a monthly basis, and you can access the event calendar and register at https://www. thehub585.org/events/. We look forward to welcoming you and sharing our mission with you firsthand. Your participation can be the spark that ignites positive change in our community. What values or principles guide your approach to family preservation and child protection? The value I place on families is deeply rooted in my faith, recognizing that God’s own esteem for families is unwavering. It’s a fundamental truth that God’s intention was never for the government to shoulder the primary responsibility of raising children, nor did He intend for families to be torn asunder. Instead, God’s ultimate goal is that of healing ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 217

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“The mission of The Hub585 is to provide a relationship centered community for marginalized youth and their families to hope, heal and thrive.” and restoration, and this profound belief shapes and directs the work I do. My faith serves as a guiding light, inspiring me to contribute to the healing and restoration of families in need, in alignment with a higher purpose. What role does Dr. Ashley Cross play within the organization, and how has your leadership influenced its growth? As the Founder and current Executive Director of the organization, my 218

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primary role is that of a Visionary Leader. I cast the vision for the organization and have focused on assembling a team of compassionate individuals who share my dedication to driving our mission forward. I’m proud to say that I’ve been successful in surrounding myself with some of the most brilliant and kind-hearted individuals I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting. Their commitment and collective brilliance are instrumental in bringing our vision to life and making a lasting impact in our community.

Can you share any upcoming events or initiatives that the community should be aware of? Visit our website’s event’s page at https://www.thehub585.org/events/

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NEW BORN SCREENING PANEL BY CHRISTINE PIACENTINO

Imagine you are an expectant mother. You are excited to bring this new life into the world and hope it comes as a wonderfully healthy baby with all ten fingers and toes. The baby’s lungs, brain, heart, and spine fully function, and there are no known congenital disabilities. Within 24 hours of your baby’s birth, they will most likely be given a newborn screening test performed. The purpose of newborn screening is to detect potentially fatal or disabling conditions in newborns as early as possible, often before the infant displays any signs or symptoms of a disease or condition. Such early detection allows treatment to begin immediately, which reduces or even eliminates the effects of the state. Many of the conditions detectable in newborn screening, if left untreated, have severe symptoms and effects, such as lifelong nervous system damage, intellectual, developmental, and physical disabilities, and even death. My son was born typically; he had no known issues at the time of his birth. The newborn screening panel didn’t find anything concerning at the time. It was only when he began to grow and develop that I noticed his milestones were delayed. I first saw that his speech was delayed. The pediatrician thought he would catch up, so at 18 months, my son was enrolled in the early intervention program, where he could receive speech and physical therapy. His speech caught up, but by the age of 4, the physical therapist noticed how my son climbed the stairs. The therapist wrote a report to the doctor. At Jonathan’s 4-year checkup, they 222

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began an odyssey of diagnosis. In our case, the diagnosis was relatively fast. However, many families wait three or more years to obtain the diagnosis. The first test was a blood test called a CPK test. This tests how the muscle enzyme creatine kinase leaks into the bloodstream. A standard test shows 100. My son’s CPK test was 26,000. The results indicated that there was some muscular dystrophy.

2024. New York State is the second in the nation after Ohio to include Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy in the mandatory screening. Diagnosis as a newborn can ensure that therapies can begin as early as possible. Medicines that treat the specific mutations that cause Duchenne can be started as early as possible, thus increasing quality of life and ensuring the optimal standard of care.

To obtain a precise form of Muscular Dystrophy, another blood test would need to be performed. In 1998, the initial blood test didn’t test the entire genetic sequence. There were only specific markers that were tested at the time, which would potentially identify the particular type of Muscular Dystrophy. Jonathan’s test came back inconclusive. To obtain the specific diagnosis, a muscle biopsy would need to be taken. Jonathan’s biopsy identified that the muscular dystrophy he had was Duchenne. I remember when he was diagnosed, asking my doctor how the diagnosis could been discovered earlier. He answered that maybe someday, Duchenne could be part of the New Born Screening panel.

New York State has paved the path in advancing Duchenne newborn screening, notably through a pilot program from 2019 to 2021. The pilot study was a collaborative effort between PPMD, the New York State Newborn Screening (NYS NBS) program, Northwell Health Hospitals, New York-Presbyterian Hospitals, the National Institutes of Health (NIH)-supported Newborn Screening Translational Research Network (NBSTRN) housed at the American College of Medical Genetics and Genomics (ACMG), along with generous funders. The pilot identified four infants with Duchenne or Becker muscular dystrophy and one female carrier within New York State and helped PPMD’s Duchenne newborn screening package pass the Advisory Committee on Heritable Disorders in Newborns and Children (ACHDNC) Nomination and Prioritization earlier this year.

Twenty-six years later, that time has arrived. On October 25th, Governor Hochul signed the New York State Senate and Assembly bill S6814/ A5042, making Duchenne newborn screening mandatory for all babies born there. Approximately 210,000 babies are born in New York State every year, which means that New Born Screening in NYS is expected to identify at least 21 babies with Duchenne annually beginning in

Additionally, New York is home to two Certified Duchenne Care Centers, the University of Rochester Medical Center and Stony Brook, ensuring that babies diagnosed with Duchenne in NYS receive optimal

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{ SHIFT+CONTROL } } } { ONE TOUGH MOTHER { LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT “Families with newborns identified through the newborn screening program will benefit from monitoring their child’s development, receiving appropriate physical and speech therapy, genetic counseling, and carrier screening for family members.”

care and support. Niki Armstrong, Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy’s (PPMD) Senior Director of Community Research and Genetic Services, passionately emphasizes the significance of this bill being signed into law in NYS, stating: “Families with newborns identified through the newborn screening program will benefit from monitoring their child’s development, receiving appropriate physical and speech therapy, genetic counseling, and carrier screening for family members. Early initiation of care will allow these families to establish strong relationships with their care teams 224

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and explore all available treatment options. With universal newborn screening, diagnosis becomes equitable. Families will not have a three-year diagnostic odyssey or learn of the diagnosis at age six when eligibility for an approved gene therapy treatment is no longer an option.” Lauren Stanford, PPMD’s Director of Advocacy, acknowledges the profound and far-reaching impact of the Duchenne community in the passage of this groundbreaking legislation. She warmly states: “We extend our heartfelt gratitude to the determined families and dedicated clinicians who provided compelling testimony to the New York State

legislature and committees throughout this process. It is your unwavering dedication, passion, and tireless efforts that have played a truly pivotal and transformative role in achieving this historic and momentous success.” This is another pivotal step forward for newborn screening for Duchenne, but it’s just the beginning. Our vision is to ensure that all babies in all states have the same opportunities for diagnosis and care. PPMD continues to work towards including Duchenne on the federal Recommended Uniform Screening Panel (RUSP), promoting newborn screening for Duchenne in other states, and expanding additional Certified Duchenne Care Centers nationwide.

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INTRODUCING NORTHEAST YOU ARE ENOUGH. PAIN SOLUTIONS BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Chance Lowry, can you share a bit about your background and how Northeast Pain Solutions was founded? I am originally from Waterloo, NY. I completed my Doctorate and a Master’s degree at the University of Western States in Portland, OR. In 2019 I moved back to upstate NY and joined my father Brian Lowry in his clinic, Lowry Chiropractic & Wellness Care in Geneva NY. At this time, we added the service Softwave Therapy to our clinic. We were the 36th clinic in the US providing this service, and the only clinic in NY ( there are now over 500 in the country!). As we continued to use the treatment for a variety of conditions, we were amazed at the quality of results we were receiving on so many different injuries. As we expanded and grew, we had patients coming from Rochester, Syracuse, Ithaca, Long Island, PA, and Ohio, at one point we had patients flying into town to receive the care because they were so limited on where they could receive this treatment. As the need for our services grew, we recognized the need for more locations to better serve patients. In 2020 we had so many patients coming from Rochester, that we decided that it would be easier on our patients if we had a Rochester location to reduce commute times and cost of travel. I had known Dr. Will ( who runs our Irondequoit location) from the gym while he was going through school. I was overall impressed with his mindset, compassion, and dedication, so we opened the doors, I ran the Clinic

for 6 months while Dr. Will finalized school, and then we brought him on board! What led you to establish Northeast Pain Solutions as Rochester’s premier soft wave and chiropractic clinic? We recognized the need in Rochester and surrounding areas for wellstructured clinics that could provide quality care at affordable prices.

Healthcare costs are rising, access to doctors is decreasing and it seems that people are more and more frustrated with healthcare due to the large disconnect between patients and doctors. I can’t blame them! Knowing where to go and what care to seek is often hard. At Northeast Pain Solutions, we bridge that gap, you have direct access to our doctors. Our doctors sit with you, talk to you, and get to know you. Our staff

educates and supports our patients even if it’s a condition we don’t work with, we aid in your navigation of this complicated medical world. Our offices are very efficient both with cost, time, and accessibility to care. We pride ourselves on being able to provide same-day appointments for those in need. You shouldn’t have to be famous or wealthy to have our full attention. Could you explain what “softwave” means in the context of your clinic’s services? Softwave is the brand name of the therapy we offer. It is a regenerative treatment modality that was manufactured in Germany and brought to the US by a company called Softwave Tissue Regenerative Technologies. The phrase “Softwave” is used to separate it from other modalities commonly referred to as “shockwave therapy”. While many shockwave devices are helpful for certain conditions. Softwave is unique in its FDA II clearance and patents that truly make it a regenerative therapy and set it apart from the rest. Our joke in the office is, that a Honda Civic and a Lamborghini are both cars, but they are not “the same”. Softwave is a “shockwave therapy” but it falls more on the Lamborghini side of things. What unique pain solutions does Northeast Pain Solutions offer that set it apart from others? Our unique service is our Softwave therapy and experience in using it. We were personally on the ground ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 227

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“Softwave is unique in its FDA II clearance and patents that truly make it a regenerative therapy and set it apart from the rest.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

floor of the innovation and use of this technology. We are actually very close with the Chief Medical Officer of the company ( Matt Diduro ) and have done training and consults with Doctors all over the country. We also provide Nonsurgical Spinal decompression, we have rehab and science-based Chiropractors who are founded in using adjustments and modalities to get you out of pain, as well as provide you education and rehab to keep you that way. We also have lots of future plans for advancements in medical technology. What motivated you to open multiple locations for your clinic? Access, Access, Access. Our goal is to help as many people as we can, obviously, we run a business and have families and mouths to feed, but our business model is to help as many people as we can with quality care and affordable prices. The more success we have with patient outcomes, the more success our clinics have. Could you elaborate on your main goal in providing patient-centered care? Being patient-centered is complex in business models, clinics have so many moving parts and so many things to focus on, sadly, often times patients fall through the cracks. OUR NUMBER ONE concern is you. We have set up systems and management to make sure our Doctors need only focus on you, the patient. We eliminate the barriers to care, which typically are accessibility, affordability, and fear. Pain can rear its ugly head in so many aspects of life: psychologically, emotionally, financially, and in intimate relationships. Our

doctors recognize this and want to be there to help with all of it. Which symptoms or conditions does the soft wave process effectively address? Softwave is extremely versatile and used across many medical professions, from wound care to cardiology. In our clinic, we focus on spinal and orthopedic concerns. The most common injuries we address are tendonitis, bursitis, rotator cuff/ shoulder injuries, knee injuries, elbow injuries, wrist injuries/ carpal tunnel, plantar fasciitis, lower back pain, neck pain, and neuropathy. Who is the primary target audience for Northeast Pain Solutions? Honestly, we work with children up to our elderly population. Injuries do not hold fast to one set group of people. We work with individuals who are motivated to get out of pain in order to continue to live active and healthy lifestyles. Sometimes that means getting an athlete back on the field, sometimes that means aiding a grandmother in being able to get up and down pain-free to play with grandchildren. Please tell us more about your specialized light energy products and how they benefit patients. Our Softwave Therapy works by using uniquely generated sound waves. These sound waves penetrate into your cell membrane and create a localized stem cell reaction. Stem cells are blank cells that make up all tissues in the body. The more we increase these stem cells, the quicker you heal. Our therapy also increases the local blood supply. Many injuries struggle to heal because

they do not get proper nutrients and oxygen delivered via blood. Our therapy also alters inflammation responses to eliminate pain. What types of chiropractic services do you offer at Northeast Pain Solutions? We offer Chiropractic adjustments, Nonsurgical spinal Decompression, Softwave therapy, injury-specific rehab, Nutrition and training, normative recovery systems, cupping, sports massage, and more to come! Can you describe the technology and techniques used in your chiropractic treatments? The key to all treatments is knowing when and where to apply which treatment to a patient. We do not hold to one technique or system of care. We adapt to the individual. Sometimes that means softwave therapy, sometimes it may mean decompression therapy or spinal adjustments. How do you ensure that your clinic remains at the forefront of pain management and chiropractic care? We follow the athletes. While in college I double majored in sports medicine, something we see in the athletic communities is advancements in medical care well ahead of what everyday individuals have access to. Our clinics bridge that gap, we provide the same quality of care and technology to a stay-at-home mother of 3 kids as we would Patrick Mahomes, and we make it possible for these individuals to afford the care! We are constantly reading, selfeducating, and developing- We already know our next steps in services we would ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 231

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YOU ARE ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

like to offer to provide an even better patient experience and outcomes. Could you share some success stories or patient testimonials to illustrate the effectiveness of your services? “Where do I begin? I have had chronic lower back pain for 10 years and have seen every specialist doctor available for treatment options. Only being in my late 20s limits my options greatly and nothing has brought me relief. UNTIL I found Dr. Will on a great recommendation. Not only was he able to get me in same day as a new client but his flexibility and understanding with scheduling is unlike anything I have experienced in healthcare. Although I was skeptical at first, after merely a single treatment of decompression and shockwave therapy, the results were clearly noticeable. My pain level had decreased significantly and I was able to walk with a normal gait again. I truly cannot recommend Dr. Will enough. If you are looking for a non-invasive alternative treatment to pain management this is the place to start! 12/10 recommend!!” -Alexa Siapanides“I have had a chronic injury for 7 years. Seeing Dr. Will is the only thing that has helped me heal. The soft-wave therapy is incredible. It reduces my pain and inflammation. After a treatment, I feel immediately improved and the healing layers over time. Dr. Will is patient and thorough & offers hope to people with chronic pain and injury. He has also treated another family 232

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member who is an athlete with softwave therapy, cupping, and other modalities. All of this has helped support the physical demands of intense training and heal injuries. Worth every penny! If you have an injury, want to try to avoid surgery, or just reduce pain see Dr. Will.” -Julia CiaramitaroAre there any innovative approaches or future developments in pain management that you are excited about? So many it is almost overwhelming. The platform of regenerative medicine is constantly developing and we will develop with it. Red light therapies, PEMF as well as Hyperbaric Oxygen therapies are at the forefront of our next steps. What advice do you have for individuals seeking pain relief and considering your clinic’s services? It cost nothing to ask. We pride ourselves on being available. Call us, message us email us. We will answer any and all concerns ahead of time. Don’t let injuries stop you from what you love to do. We can’t help you if we don’t know you. Can you provide insights into the support and education your clinic offers to patients for long-term pain management? We don’t just send you on your way after you have completed care with us. You are set up with all the tools you need to continue living a quality pain-free life. Every patient is unique,

so this process is designed unique for every individual. In addition to the tools given to you for long-term results, you are also apart of the family, and welcome back anytime for advice and adaptions to old problems or new ones. How do you stay involved in the Rochester community and contribute to its well-being? Members of our organization have been involved in a wide variety of community events and social projects. Rotary, Library organizations, Church groups, Chamber Of Commerce, suicide awareness campaigns, and food drives. We are also very integrated into the local health and wellness scene. What are your future plans and expansion goals for Northeast Pain Solutions? By 2025 we would like to have 5 convenient locations for our patients to access. We also already have plans for the addition of more therapies and providers for our patients to have access to.

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KATHY MINCER Can you tell us a bit about your background and what led you to your current path? I was born and raised in a small town, Coatesville, Pa, then at the age of 13-14 we moved to Naples NY. Here I graduated in 1981, having my first child and got married. Within the next 2 years had to more children. Today I’m remarried to a wonderful man of 34 years and have 5 grandchildren. It was not always peaches and cream, there where many ups and downs. 2) How did you first become involved with Young Living Essential Oils? Finally in 2011, finding myself in a hospital bed, I knew I needed and wanted more out of my life. I started on a journey to better myself, was not easy, but worth it. 6 months into this journey I was introduced to Young Living Essential Oils. A dear friend said these may help me, she gave me a drop of peppermint oils in the palm of my hand, and I breathed deeply several times. I was like OMGOSH!

This is a book with 15 other women’s story from struggle to purpose. Never meeting these ladies before and now that we have wrote a book together, we are sisters. We want the readers to take away that there are always women out in the world who struggle, but that they can overcome their struggles. They can read the stories and if one resonates with them, they can reach out. Also, for our families to understand what

Well from there out I needed to learn more about theses little bottles. We use everything YL for personal care, home, pets and supplements. Today I am very happy to say it’s been almost 12 years that I have been on my sobriety journey, October 1, 2011, and I’m healthy, happy and have a blessed marriage. Your book, “Warrior Women,” is intriguing. Could you share more about it and explain the concept of turning life lessons into a legacy?

we came through and it is possible to go through challenges in their life’s. What motivated you to write “Warrior Women.” And what message do you hope readers take away from it? I met the main author and founder of the project, Desire Cruz at a networking event that her husband invited me to. I have to tell you the story of how we

knew we were met to meet. I had asked Desire how her mom named her. She said, “a song by Neil Diamond, Desire.” I was blown away because that is how I named my daughter, who’s name is also Desirea. So needless to say, we hit it off and became good friends. When she reached out to ask me to write a chapter in her book, I did not hesitate to say yes. Our goal is to support other women who may be struggling and knowing that it is possible to turn there life around. Could you provide some insights into the significance of essential oils in your life and how they’ve played a part in your journey? When I stopped putting all the poison in my body, there came issues that were being hidden. I was put on some things that I knew I did not want to be on. That’s why I was so grateful for my friend to introduce to Young Living. It is all natural! We contained to learn more about them and what they could provide for us. Getting rid of toxic chemical in our home was a HUGE step. Then took steps into the personal care products. What you put on your body goes into your body. As an advocate for wellness and holistic living, what are some practical tips you could offer our readers for maintain a healthy lifestyle? Do your own research. Everyone is different, ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 235

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“Everyone has a choice. We need to listen to our bodies; they will tell us what we need. I myself see more of the younger generation really paying attention. Using nature ways with there children. And yes, I’m going to say this, God gave us plants for our healing.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

I offer 1 on1’s for anyone, we have a conversation, I take notes and then send them over what we call a “Wishlist”. This is a suggested list just from our conversation. They will be able to read about each product and decide what they think they may want to try. I’m ALWAYS available for any questions. What challenges have you encountered on your path, and how have they shaped your personal and professional growth? People not believing in using essential oils for there wellness. We share testimonies a lot, because we have so many. I used to let it bother me but, I have grown personally and professionally. I continue to share. And we are a walking testimony from where we use to be, and where we are now. Have also invested in some personal development, I needed to be professional in building a business. In your option, what does the future hold for wellness and self-care practices, and how do you see yourself contributing to this movement? Everyone has a choice. We need to listen to our bodies; they will tell us what we need. I myself see more of the younger generation really paying attention. Using nature ways with there children. And yes, I’m going to say this, God gave us plants for our healing. Can you share a particularly inspiring or transformative moment from your journey with Young Living Essential Oils? In 2018, I went to the convention in 238

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Salt Lake City, Utah. Mind you this country girl has never flown, but I wanted to experience it. With a fly buddy and lots of calming oils I did it. Listening to the founder Gary Young speak, AMAZING MAN! Visiting the Lavender farm, seeing how the oils are distilled, listening to the farm mangers and scientists on our Seed to Seal process, and able to plant a Lavender plant. That just confirmed everything that I had learned.

South Africa and is in 34 countries.

Who is a women that has inspired you personally, and why has she been such an inspiration in your life? This would be my leader and friend, Kathryn Faso. I met her shortly after joining YL. She was always there for me as a teacher, education in the oils, hosting classes with me and be a guest speaker for me. I can call her anytime with YL questions or just need a friend to talk to.

Looking forward to being a sponsor for a event, New Year, New You with Influential Women Business Network. Staring in October myself and some of my team members will start a coaching program for professional and personnel devolvement.

How do you balance your professional commitments, writing, and your advocacy work in the wellness industry? I don’t go anywhere without my calendar. My part-time caring for the elderly is always set hours, so I work around that. I always set time aside with husband and time in nature. Are there any upcoming projects or initiatives you’re excited to share with our readers? I was a sponsor in the very first Diamond Moments magazine, also the next month I will have a full page add, and a banner the following month. It is a magazine that was started by a beautiful lady, Sanet van Breda from

I am also a co-author in a book called The Art of Connection, Gratitude it is the fourth book in the series. Also, it is in the Library of Congress. Will be out by Christmas. I will also go live with Diamond Beauties for a talk and then it will be created into a chapter in a book called, Diamond Moments.

All along with sharing and teaching folks on a healthy journey. What advice would you give to women aspiring to follow their passions and make a positive impact in their communities? Believe in yourself! If you have something on your heart, you go with it! It’s your dream and no one can stop your DREAMS! Can you describe a typical day in your life, including any self-care rituals or practices that help you stay grounded and motivated? I’m able to wake up with a positive attitude, due to my nighttime routine to make sure I have a restful sleep. I take a probiotic, set up my diffuser and write out my gratitude list form the day. In the morning always start a diffuser,

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{ IN HER OWN } WORDS } { IN WORDS HER OWN

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“Our goal is to support other women who may be struggling and knowing that it is possible to turn there life around.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

“This is a book with 15 other women’s story from struggle to purpose. Never meeting these ladies before and now that we have wrote a book together, we are sisters.” , put oils on the bottom of my feet, thieves, peppermint and valor, take my supplements and our antioxidant drink, Ningxia Red. On a few days a week, I go take care of a special elderly lady in her home, oh and she uses YL product also. If there comes a time when I need extra 240

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support due to something going on< I have learned what to use. Lastly, could you offer a glimpse into your vision for the future and the legacy you hope to leave behind your work and advocacy? My hope is that people find ways

to their own natural wellness. Our wellness journey has done so much for us and I will always share what I learn on my journey. For more infomration contact Kathy at kathymincer.oils@yahoo.com

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PLEASE WELCOME CRICKET BY THE ACS TEAM

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{ THE ANIMAL CARE CORNER { ANIMAL CARE CORNER } } “Cricket came to Animal Care Sanctuary on April 29th, 2021. She patiently waited a very long 2 years, 4 months, and 3 days until her special day of adoption that finally came on September 2nd, 2023.”

CRICKET - ROCHESTER In the heart of our city of East Smithfield, within the warm walls of our shelter, resided a feline friend like no other Cricket. Named after the gentle chirping of crickets on a calm summer night, Cricket was a charming tabby cat who had spent a considerable portion of her life within the shelter’s embrace. Cricket came to Animal Care Sanctuary on April 29th, 2021. She patiently waited a very long 2 years, 4 months, and 3 days until her special day of adoption that finally came on September 2nd, 2023. Cricket came in on a rehoming

status from a woman that had found her and was unable to keep her. Although Cricket was a bit cautious when first coming into our care, her affectionate personality won the hearts of all ACS staff and volunteers. We were sure she was going to be home quickly, especially if the adopter had other cats. Cricket is good at keeping her company feeling welcome and loved. She enjoys pets from her humans, she’ll greet you at the door, she loves other cats and thrives in their company. Cricket has beautiful light green eyes that meet you with pure love. Having been in the shelter for years, Cricket often found herself overlooked

as potential adopters were drawn to the younger, more energetic cats. Despite this, she remained a beacon of positivity, radiating warmth and affection to everyone she met. The shelter staff grew fond of her, appreciating her gentle nature and unwavering spirit. As an effort to help Cricket find a home, she was featured during our August WETM news segment, “Pet of the Week”. It was here that Cricket found her new family. A WETM employee met Cricket on the day of her segment and decided they would like to be Cricket’s new family. As Cricket found her new ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 245

SHIFT+CONTROL } { THE {ANIMAL CARE CORNER } “Her story is a reminder that every soul, no matter how long they’ve waited, deserves a chance at happiness.”

family. A WETM employee met Cricket on the day of her segment and decided they would like to be Cricket’s new family. As Cricket found her new home and nestled into her family’s affection, it was evident that she had struck the perfect chord. We are so excited to have seen Cricket finally land a home with her new adopters, OH and another cat and a bunny! Her story is a reminder that every soul, no matter how long they’ve waited, deserves a chance at happiness. Her journey from a lonely shelter cat to a beloved family member was a testament to the power of love and patience, and the power of giving a shelter animal a second chance at finding their tune in the world. Cricket has finally found her 246

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purr-fectly happy ending. We hope that hearing Cricket’s journey serves as a poignant reminder of the countless shelter cats waiting for their chance at a loving home. Many cats, like Cricket, spend extended periods in shelters due to various reasons, often overlooked by potential adopters. It’s crucial to shed light on the importance of adopting these overlooked cats and fostering them if adoption isn’t possible. Adopting a shelter cat like Cricket is an act of kindness and compassion. These cats, often mature and with distinct personalities, can bring immeasurable joy and companionship into a household. The experience of adopting an older cat, who has spent considerable time in

a shelter, can be incredibly rewarding. They are often already litter trained, accustomed to living with humans, and their personalities are well-formed, making the transition into a new home smoother. For those unable to adopt, fostering is a wonderful alternative. Fostering provides a temporary home for shelter cats, giving them a break from the shelter environment and allowing them to experience a loving home. It’s a chance for the cat to heal, gain confidence, and prepare for their forever family. Fostering not only transforms a cat’s life but also provides valuable insights into their behavior and needs, making them more adoptable in the future.

Grooming

These prices are an estimate. They may change with condition, breed, size, and coat of your pet.

ACS is a Non-Profit Public Charity. Please use this code to donate.

www.AnimalCareSanctuary.org

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MEET A’DONNIS HOWARD Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your journey as an entrepreneur, real estate agent, and life and professional strategist influencer? About my journey: I’ve always been passionate about helping others, which led me first into a career in nursing. Over time, however, I realized that I wanted to reach people on a broader scale and in different areas of their lives. So, I got into real estate and business consulting, and later transitioned into being a life and business coach, helping individuals become the best versions of themselves to help them move closer to their life and professional goals. I’ve been fortunate to wear many hats and leverage my experiences in all these fields to provide holistic solutions to my clients. What exactly does it mean to be a life and professional strategist influencer, and how did you get started in this field? As a life and business coach/ strategist, As a life and business coach who practices NLP techniques and strategies, my goal is to help individuals achieve their personal and professional goals. Could you describe the type of work you do with your phone clients and how you help them in their professional and personal lives? My work involves simple conversations helping clients identify their goals and create actionable plans to achieve them. This involves changing mindset, enhancing positive behaviors, overcoming personal barriers, enhancing

communication skills, and strategizing personal and business growth. I use NLP techniques to facilitate these changes and help clients see tangible results. What qualities or characteristics do you look for in your ideal client when offering life and professional strategy guidance? Look for individuals who are openminded, resilient, and ready for change.

industry also presented an entrepreneurial opportunities like, branding myself, learing about negotiation and sales, and marketing and communication skills that have been invaluable in my other ventures. Did you always feel that you had an entrepreneurial gene or did this passion develop over time? I believe my entrepreneurial spirit was always within me, but it was through experiences and opportunities that it truly blossomed. I’ve learned to embrace the risks and rewards of entrepreneurship. Are there any specific individuals or role models who inspire and influence you in your career as an entrepreneur and strategist influencer? I admire individuals like Eric Thomas and Daynond John for their ability to inspire and motivate others. They’ve shown me the power of positive influence and an entrepreneur mindset.

They need to have a strong desire to grow and be willing to put in the work necessary to achieve their goals. What motivated you to enter the real estate industry, and how has this experience shaped your entrepreneurial path? I was drawn to the idea of helping people make one of the most important decisions of themselves and their family life to find their perfect homes. The

How do you balance your roles as a real estate agent and a life and professional strategist influencer? It’s about setting boundaries, prioritizing tasks, and managing time effectively. Also, the skills I’ve learned in one role often complement the other, creating a synergy that helps me manage all. Can you share some of the key principles or philosophies that guide your work in helping clients achieve their goals? Key principles: Empathy, resilience, ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 249

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{ WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “I’m looking to expand the reach of Project “Real” Solutions, exploring partnerships and seeking funding to impact more lives.”

and action. I believe in understanding my clients’ needs, helping them build resilience to overcome challenges, and encouraging them to take decisive action towards their goals. What are some common challenges that your clients face, and how do you assist them in overcoming these challenges? Common challenges: Many clients struggle with fear of change or failure. I help them reframe these fears and empower them to take action.

and how have you adapted to these changes? The rise of technology has dramatically changed the industry. I’ve adapted by leveraging digital platforms for marketing, networking, and client management while still leveraging

How do you stay updated and informed about the latest trends and developments in your areas of expertise? I read extensively, attend industry conferences, seminars, worlshops, and network with professionals. I also leverage digital tools and platforms to keep up with trends and advancements.

Are there any particular success stories or client transformations that stand out in your career? There are many, but one that stands out is a client who transformed from a hesitant employee to a confident entrepreneur making six figures now. Seeing such transformations is incredibly rewarding. In your opinion, what are the most crucial skills or mindset qualities for someone looking to succeed as an entrepreneur? Resilience, adaptability, and a growth mindset. It’s about embracing challenges, learning from failures, and always striving to improve. How has the world of real estate evolved since you entered the field,

implementing them? Continuous learning and goal setting. I recommend setting SMART(Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Timely) goals and consistently seeking out opportunities to learn and grow.

traditional ways such as conversations and personal touches. What are your favorite strategies for personal and professional growth, and how do you recommend

Can you describe any projects or initiatives you’re currently working on or planning for the future? I’m preparing for the first round of Project “Real” Solutions, my non-profit organization 8-week program. We’re excited to empower more inner city young adults with real estate and entrepreneurship knowledge in starting February 2024. What advice would you give to aspiring entrepreneurs and those looking to make a difference in the lives of others as you do? Start where you are, use what you ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 253

{ANIMAL SHIFT+CONTROL } } } { WHAT ABOUT THECORNER MEN? { THE CARE “I’ve adapted by leveraging digital platforms for marketing, networking, and client management while still leveraging traditional ways such as conversations and personal touches.”

have, do what you can, push through your limits. The journey may be challenging, but the rewards are immense. Believe in your ideas, network extensively, and never ever stop learning. Lastly, what’s next on the horizon for A’donnis Howard, and what are 254

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your goals for the future? What’s next for A’donnis Howard: I’m looking to expand the reach of Project “Real” Solutions, exploring partnerships and seeking funding to impact more lives. I also plan to write a book sharing my experiences and methodologies to help a broader audience navigate their life and career paths and I’m also prepping

to do motivational speaking and transformational workshops for businesses and professional leaders. My ultimate goal is to continue making a difference, and create a legacy for myself.

MEET ARTIST

TRINA BRUNO from the Pittsford Upstairs Gallery

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{ QUEEN OF ARTS }

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“My connection to the natural world evolved over years as I was seeking calm and peace after growing up in Manhattan.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

What medium do you primarily work with in your art, and why did you choose it? I have always loved the textures and colors of beautiful papers from all over the world. When I discovered the paper room at Rochester Art Supply I was amazed. As I collected a bunch of them, I started to paint and design some of my own papers.That became the inspiration for working with them on collages.I also love the idea of papers weaving into and around each other and that that affects the design.

How did you first become interested in pursuing a career as an artist? I have always been interested in the art world.My grandmother was a big influence on me as a child. She sewed; crocheted; painted on old objects; loved her plants and quilted. I have a memory when I was about

Can you share some of the key themes or subjects that inspire your artwork? My connection to the natural world evolved over years as I was seeking calm and peace after growing up in Manhattan. I then spent many years in more rural areas and immersed myself in the landscapes around me. I painted what I saw around me - trees; grasses; clouds and all the changing colors of the seasons. When I start a new piece I think about what colors are on my mind and then collect all the papers in that color range.From then on I just play with the shapes and textures and a design evolves. The season at the t time becomes the image and emotion of the piece.

three of smelling the oil paint on a woman’s pallet one summer in Mohegan NY. We spent the summer there where there were lots of artists and I remember being very intrigued looking at the pallet.

I then participated in lots of arts & crafts classes as a kid and took a children’s Saturday art class at the Art Students League in NYC. I was also extremely lucky to attend the High School of Music & Art in NYC. That was a game changer ! What drew you to showcase your work at the Pittsford Upstairs Gallery? I knew Kathy Armstrong when I lived in Ithaca and she lived in Trumansburg We reconnected when we both moved to Rochester and she told me about the Gallery. Can you describe your creative process when starting a new piece? I begin by a lot of thinking I think about the colors I am feeling at the time. It always seems to be about the season we are in.I then collect all the various papers I have in that range of color and begin to think about what I can do to manipulate a design.And then i just play around I have been following lots of artists on instagram - especially from all over the world - to get new ideas about design and how they implement their work. Are there any specific artists or artistic movements that have influenced your work? In the early days, I loved Milton Glaser; Vermeer and Romaine Breardon. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 259

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“It is wonderful to keep discovering more artists all the time but I wish there were more venues for shows.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

I’m still intrigued with David Hockney and Georgia O’Keeffe. Lately, I have discovered Per Adolfsen from Denmark on instagram What role does the local Rochester art scene play in your artistic journey? It has been exciting meeting them and getting to know their work, as it is a much bigger market than Ithaca - where I lived for almost 40 years! It is wonderful to keep discovering more artists all the time but I wish there were more venues for shows. C o u l d y o u s h a re a memorable or challenging experience you’ve had as an artist in Rochester? We moved here end of 2017 and as I was exploring the art scene and trying to navigate where to show my work, I discovered a wonderful art space in the First Unitarian Church on Winton right near my new home.They were kind enough to give me a show date and help me set the whole space up. It was very exciting to have a show so soon after moving here and I met some wonderful people. Do you have a favorite piece of artwork that you’ve created, and if so, what makes it special to you? I do have favorites among my work 260

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- one of which I just sold - called Love Letter to Spring. The colors; shapes and textures always made me happy - also it’s my favorite season. I also gave two large pieces to my daughter that are images of water

falling over rocks. They were successful due to the feeling of the movement of the water and the colors I chose. How do you stay motivated and inspired in your artistic practice? I don’t work constantly. I think about

the next piece alot and I realized it’s my way of communicating. It gives me a purpose and makes me feel fufilled happy. Can you tell us about any upcoming exhibitions or projects you’re working on? Along with being a member of the Upstairs Gallery ; meeting interesting and talented artists and craftspeople; I have also landed at The Artful Home. It is a beautiful curated shop with arts and crafts from local artists and those around the world. Its taken me six years to acclimate myself to Rochester from Ithaca but I am amazed and thankful every day at the fullness of my life ( also being around my kids and grandkids!) What advice would you give to aspiring artists looking to make their mark in the art world? The most important thing is to have your own voice and your own vision.Experiment all the time and listen to your inner voice. I still think learning to draw is the basis for a good artist - and from there you can so whatever is interesting to you. Keep viewing all kinds of art and meeting other artists.

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THE HOLIDAY WEIGHT GAIN BY SHERYL VEGA

Why Women Are Particularly Vulnerable The holiday season, spanning from late November through early January, is often associated with joyful celebrations, indulgent feasts, and relaxed routines. However, it is also a time when many people, especially women, experience unwelcome weight gain that can linger long after the festivities end. One possible reason for the holiday weight gain among women is the stress that often accompanies this time of year. Despite the messages of love and cheer, the holidays can generate various forms of stress, such as financial strain, family conflicts, and gift-giving pressures. Studies have shown that when people experience stress, their bodies release cortisol, a hormone that can increase appetite and promote fat storage, particularly in the abdominal area (Epel et al., 2000). Thus, women who encounter stressful situations during the holidays may be more likely to overeat or crave comfort foods that provide temporary relief but also contribute to weight gain. Another possible reason for the holiday weight gain among women is the cultural emphasis on food as a central aspect of socializing and hospitality. In many societies, including the United States, serving and consuming large quantities of rich, sweet, and savory dishes is seen as a way to show affection, generosity, or gratitude. Women, who often bear the

responsibility for preparing, serving, and cleaning up after meals, may feel obliged to indulge in the same foods as their guests or relatives, even if they don’t feel hungry or satisfied. Moreover, social norms around body image and food consumption may create a sense of guilt, shame, or fear of judgment for women who resist the social pressure to eat abundantly (Tylka & Subich, 2004). Thus, women may find themselves caught between conflicting expectations and emotions, leading to erratic eating patterns and excessive calorie intake.

factors women can anticipate and prepare for the challenges of the holiday season.

A third possible reason for the holiday weight gain among women is the disruption of their usual exercise routines and sleep patterns. Many women prioritize their health and fitness goals by engaging in regular physical activity and getting adequate sleep. However, the holiday season can disrupt these routines by offering fewer opportunities for exercise, more temptations for sedentary behaviors, and irregular schedules that disturb sleep patterns. Exercise has been shown to reduce stress, improve mood, and regulate appetite, while sleep deprivation has been linked to increased hunger, decreased satiety, and altered metabolism (Chaput et al., 2014). Therefore, women who experience a decline in exercise and sleep during the holidays may be at risk for gaining weight, even if their diets remain relatively stable.

Epel, E. S., McEwen, B., Seeman, T., Matthews, K., Castellazzo, G., Brownell, K. D., Bell, J., Ickovics, J. R. (2000). Stress and body shape: Stressinduced cortisol secretion is consistently greater among women with central fat. Psychosomatic Medicine, 62(5), 623-632.

Grab your Free Guide on How to Avoid Holiday Weight Gain References: C h a p u t , J . - P. , D ra p e a u , V. , Hetherington, M., Lemieux, S., Provencher, V., Tremblay, A. (2014). Psychobiological impact of a progressive weight loss program in obese men and women: The Québec weight loss study. Obesity, 22(5), 1094-1100.

Tylka, T. L., & Subich, L. M. (2004). Exploring the construct validity of the Eating Disorder Continuum: An examination of eating disturbance and weight bias. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 51(2), 182-196.

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CHAPTER 3 BY SANDY ARENA

REMEMBERING CHILDHOOD Not only did I survive a lot of trauma during my childhood years, I also survived a traumatic birth where I almost died. Knowing this and hearing the story of my entrance into this world has caused me feelings of shame and guilt I have worked to overcome. I grew up being I told that my birth began my mother’s descent into years of illness, pill addiction and debilitating migraines that disallowed her to care for me as an infant. I was also told that I was unwanted, and that she was devastated when learning she was pregnant with me. I was born on Thanksgiving Day – one month early. I was due on Christmas day. My mother had what is called Placenta Previa which is a potentially life threatening medical condition that can happen during pregnancy where the placenta covers the opening of the cervix. Ultrasound did not provide a window into the womb in 1965, so my mother’s condition was not detected until there was a rupture, where we both almost died. I was told that I was drowning in her uterus upon the rupture, and that my father rushed us to the hospital running traffic lights. I was born by C-section, and also became equally sick after my birth with croup. My mother was cut vertically down her stomach for my removal, and would often show me her scars – evidence of the apparent hardships I caused in her life. The stomach mutilation my birth caused looked like squishy and crooked raised veins cutting the middle of her abdomen, flanked by soft folds of flabby skin. My mother was always very thin and her outward appearance

was the utmost importance to her, but her stomach was quite marred from delivering me. She would tell me that most babies were ugly from going down the birth canal, but that I had a perfect head – and was therefore beautiful at birth - because I was a C-section baby. It was after this traumatic delivery that I was sent to live with other families for a year, and apparently my siblings also lived in other homes for a time being, as well. I was baby in foster care the first year of my life.

We lived in Western Springs, Illinois having left family and friends on the East Coast to move there for a wonderful promotion my father had earned with International Harvester (IH). The story goes that he started at IH as an office boy right after high school – working hard and doing tasks such as emptying garbage cans. His propensity to work hard, lead him to move up the ranks in his company. His IH promotion brought us to Illinois. I remember hearing that

he was making $60,000 per year in that job which was considered a good salary in the mid-sixties. My mother was unhappy with the move, however, and having to leave the Philadelphia area and her parents and siblings and everything she knew growing up. At least that is what we were told. I was also told by her that becoming pregnant with me added to her misery. We only stayed in Chicago for a short time, as per family historical accounts, because of her illnesses and unhappiness. I was told that my siblings loved Chicago and especially my oldest brother who was doing very well playing hockey and in school. My siblings and I all have stories of the moves that devastated us as kids and teens, and for my oldest brother, leaving Chicago was apparently the one that broke his heart and changed everything. Again, this is family history as I was told. This particular brother was almost two decades older than me, and I did not know him very well. Therefore, any information I am sharing is what I was told by others and is not a free pass for someone to argue and shame me because of information shared with me by others. (This is just a side bar disclaimer to the kinds of hate that has been thrown my way over the years as I have unraveled the trauma in my life through writing.) Eventually, my family moved from Chicago and back to the East Coast where I had been staying with relatives for a year already. For some reason, however, I was in Chicago and with my family at age one and we were flying back East together. My ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 271

{ I’M NOT THAT GIRL ANY MORE }

“Even though she was unhappy to be pregnant with me and have me, God’s holy word says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and so are you! ” earliest memory is being on an airplane and crying. I had been sitting next to my oldest brother and he was consoling me. The stewardess was attempting to fit the seatbelt around me and it was too big, so they were stuffing a pillow between my stomach and the belt. In retrospect I do think it is ironic that the belt was too large, since I was a very chubby baby. How do I know I was chubby? Well, I’ve seen pictures of me oversized and strapped into high chairs with belts, but I also read information written about me in my baby book by my mother, and also by a person who took care of me during the first year of my life. Both use the word FAT to describe me. 272

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In reference to the letter written by the person who cared for me, it was sent to my parents when I was six months old to update them on how I was doing. Some nice things were said about me and my demeanor, but I was also called the “F” word. In addition to calling me fat, this person admitted that they could not always tend to my needs when I cried. This dear family watched me even though they had other children, which had to have been a challenge because after all, I was a little foster baby. I read this information about me, and see pictures of a sluggish me, and I feel sad to think that perhaps my eating disorders started at this time where I used food for emotional comfort and when I learned that people were not able to

tend to my needs when crying for help. In later years of my life, two issues I have worked hard to overcome include: binging or withholding food in an emotional response; and also the inability to ask people for help. After so many years of being fiercely independent, later in life I had to learn to receive help when it was offered to me. I always felt undeserving. The greatest way I have been able to overcome this was by learning to ask God for help in prayer and seeing His miracles manifest in my life, and also know that God sends others to help us and that is necessary and part of His plan! “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

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YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“In later years of my life, two issues I have worked hard to overcome include: binging or withholding food in an emotional response; and also the inability to ask people for help.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

The first home I remember living in was our home in Collingswood, New Jersey which was a large Tudor home where we all had our own bedrooms, or so I was told. I was probably about three or four years old. One memory I have of living in this house is running from bees in our driveway with my brother and neighborhood kids. I also remember waking up in the middle of the night feeling lost and afraid in my bedroom and trying to get out of the room, but not being able to find the door, perhaps a metaphor for some of my future experiences before I fully found Jesus. I was told later in life that this house was haunted and there were underground walkways below the home. I remember sometimes feeling very alone and terrified there. We lived in the Collingswood house for a year or so, and then moved to a house on a lake in Medford Lakes, New Jersey. Although I do have a few good memories of this house - like learning to ride a bike on the quiet street that was in front of the house, playing with an adorable toy poodle at our neighbor’s house who liked to “play” the piano, and also watching my father refinish furniture in our backyard, many of the memories I do have in this home were somewhat traumatizing. The lake house was a smaller home than the big Tudor home in Collingswood, and had a beautiful view of the lake that provided many activities for my older siblings and the neighborhood children including canoeing, fishing and ice skating.

My brother had a fishing rod and he would spend hours fishing on the lake. I was too young to partake, so I watched instead. One day while watching kids fish, I asked my brother if I could have a turn at casting a line into the lake. I was never taught how to fish at this point, or how to cast a line. My brother agreed and handed me his pole. I remember feeling so excited and eager to have the chance to do what all the other kids were doing. So I took the rod and “cast” it, except I threw the entire pole into the lake. I remember my brother screaming and yelling at me, and me cowering under his temper. He was able to grab the rod out of the lake before it sunk, but the words he screamed at me made me feel small, and like a nuisance who got in everyone’s way. We also had a pet duck at this house whose name was Gertrude. Gertrude was great. She was a white duck and had a thick stripe of black feathers down her back. Her feathers looked like coal, and were iridescent and shiny - reminiscent of an oil slick that made them even prettier to look at and touch. Gertrude sat in our backyard on a nest of eggs that never hatched. I am not sure how long she lived with us because I was very young, but I adored Gertrude and the patience she displayed sitting on her eggs. I spent a lot of time in my backyard playing with Gertrude. Believe it or not, she was killed by gunshot from a hunter on the lake, and I remember crying at the loss of her. I couldn’t understand why a hunter would shoot a duck for sport. The lake was also a place for many

children to ice skate in the winter. We were warned to stay away from the holes and places where the ice seemed thin. I do not remember ice skating on the lake as I am sure I was considered too young and not permitted. One day, I was in our kitchen with my mother watching the skaters on the lake through our big picture window that overlooked the ice. All the sudden my mom screamed and ran out of the house. I watched as she ran onto the ice in a flash, and raced to the center of the lake where a group of people were gathering around a hole in the ice. A child had fallen in and they were trying to get her out. My mother managed to grab her just seconds before she went under the frigid, black water which was terrifying - the thought that this could happen. I remember my mother telling me that she would have drifted under the ice and would not have been able to find a way to come back up. I remember feeling proud of my mom and also fearful of the ice on the lake. She certainly was a true hero in this instance. While the hazards surrounding recreational ice skating on the lake were traumatic enough, the most upsetting circumstance that happened while living on the lake house was when a fishing hook went into my right eye. There were many kids in our backyard fishing on the lake that day, and I was standing behind them all watching and not participating. Someone cast their line back and the wind blew their line causing the hook to literally pierce through the skin of my lower eyelid, just missing my eyeball. The ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 273

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“He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us. 2 Corinthians 1:10.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

person who cast the line dropped the pole after it hooked my eye. At that, I started running towards our house that was perched on a hill above the lake with the pole attached to my eye dragging behind me. I remember seeing my mother scream in the picture window again. I was quickly scooped up and placed in the back of our car, and driven to the doctor’s office where the hook was unfurled from my lower eyelid and removed. I was in Kindergarten at the time and remember being allowed to stay home from school for a week. I also remember getting a Playdoh Factory as a gift, and lying on the couch all week watching game shows and soap operas with my mom, and playing with my new toy. As I look back on this memory of almost losing an eye in the fishing accident, I am amazed at God’s hand of protection on my eyesight that day, and now also even more so, knowing that His care and protection has been on my life since I was first conceived as a child who was not wanted, and later surviving a near death experience when I was born. Being reminded that I was unwanted during my growing up years left me feeling unworthy and lost. What a waste of years, however, looking back and I wish I knew then what I know 274

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now! I now believe God’s words about me - not my mother’s words that are lies spoken straight from the pit of hell. Even though she was unhappy to be pregnant with me and have me, God’s holy word says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and so are you! When we are working to overcome our pasts and the lies we picked up about

ourselves along the way, we can rejoice instead of feeling lost, shameful and unworthy. This scripture I cited above goes on to say even more, and I will share it here for you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made

in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16 This was His plan, His design and His purposes for my life. I may have brought my family and the people who agreed to care for me that first year great burden, but God was with me on my birthday and also every other hard moment that I will be sharing in this book including that day on the lake where I could have lost my vision. Knowing this also gives me the faith and confidence to know that whatever may happen moving forward in my life and in the lives of my children and family, God is with us and He promises good to come from that all that is hard and unsettling in our lives. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us. 2 Corinthians 1:10.

SPECIALIZES IN WILLS/PROBATE AND TRUST WORK, ALONG WITH REAL ESTATE AND NURSING HOME COLLECTIONS 1900 EMPIRE BLVD. #172 I WEBSTER, NY 14580 I (585)217-9390

WARRIOR WOMEN (VALUE IN YOU)

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{ WARRIOR WOMEN } “One thing has led to another and now I am also an International Speaker with my podcast, “Value In You”, on Inspired Choices Network, which I love.” BY LS KIRKPATRICK

“My purpose is to let people know: You have great value in you, You are worthy, You are enough, and You matter. Because it is true.” In less than 10 months I published 11 books and became an 8x International #1 Bestselling Author within 11 months. But who am I? I am an author, an entrepreneur, a podcaster, a blogger, a wife, a mother of 4, and a grandmother of 15. I began to tell my grandchildren stories which they loved. They would want to hear them again and again, but I had made it up for that one nighttime story.

It took my daughter three years to finally convince me (“Mom you have to publish this book for others to read, it’s beautiful”), it was my story, “Riding Frogs in the Backyard” to her two girls at the time, and so I did. Then I

What could I do? Well, I told them stories from my childhood, folktales, fairy tales, and substituted their names and the things they liked into the story, so that I would be able to tell them the same story more than once. (You can use this idea; it is a great way to tell bedtime stories). Then we moved. Telling stories over the phone was difficult. I couldn’t tickle my grandchildren, show them expressions like I did when I was with them, so, I decided to write them a story, put it in a book with photographs I had taken, and then send it to them. They loved this.

wrote and published “Henrietta: the Hutto Hippo” about how the town of Hutto, Tx became the first and only city in the U.S. of A. to have a hippo as their mascot. Now 20 published books later I am learning and growing and

gaining more knowledge to be better than the day before. I am also sharing this knowledge with others. You can find these on my website, LSKirkaptrick.com Why, you might ask? Because I love to encourage, uplift, and give real hope to you, and others. My anthologies are packed with power and real life. I love to give people a place for their voice to be heard. To showcase them in their businesses and to share with the world. You too can find your purpose and achieve your dreams by taking that first step. There are two main courses that I am currently offering, both in 3 month and 6 month increments, to help you find your purpose in life, what you enjoy, what energizes you, and how to achieve your dreams in life. I also guide writers to get their book published and into the hands of readers. One thing has led to another and now I am also an International Speaker with my podcast, “Value In You”, on Inspired Choices Network, ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 279

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“My purpose is to let people know: You have great value in you, You are worthy, You are enough, and You matter. Because it is true.” which I love. I love it because I have the best guest speakers and it energizes me to be able to share real stories and again, real hope, with you and others. I have been a guest speaker myself at virtual events, talking about perspective, value, and offering hope that is real, not just a nice word. I have spoken on multiple podcasts, and I truly enjoy connecting with others. What is the purpose of all that I do? My purpose is to let people know: You have great value in you, You are worthy, You are enough, and You matter. Because it is true. How do I know this? There has never been anyone like you and there will never be anyone like you. Only you have made the choices in each situation that

you have made. Only you have acted or reacted to other’s choices that have directly affected you. This makes you unique and that uniqueness is your value. That value is your worth, that value and worth together make you enough and that is why, You matter. My yearly anthology book, “The Giving Book”, is now entering its 4th volume. It raises funds for a not-for-profit entity to help kids, their families, and the community. You can read about it on the last page. Not only does the reader get amazing stories, artwork, photography, poetry, memoirs and more, and they give to a worthy cause, the contributors to the book are also given a place for their voice to be heard; and each contributor

gets a full page to talk about who they are, what they do, and how the reader can connect with them. I wanted every part of this book to be about giving. This all has created the opportunity for me to begin the process of creating a non-profit for raising funds for already established and reliable non-profits currently helping and providing for orphans and widows.

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YOU REIKIROMA ARE ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Can you tell us a little bit about ReikiRoma and how it got started? I officially opened ReikiRoma to the public in July 2021. I have been an essential oil guru since 2017 and have helped so many people find alternative options for their health concerns, but I found within my heart I wanted to do more for people. In February of 2021, I had the “enlightening” moment where I woke up one morning and just knew that becoming a Reiki practitioner is what I wanted to do. I received my first two levels of Reiki Certification by May that year and converted a space in my home to my Zen room. I started introducing my family and close circle of friends to my practice so that they could have the experience and in return help me spread the word. In June I found my current office space and my manifestations came to life! What inspired you to become an alternative and holistic health practitioner, specifically in the field of Reiki? I feel that I was always sensitive to energy since I was a little girl, and when I got older, I just didn’t know how to tap into it. In 2017, I started my oil journey and became an essential oil educator which allowed me to teach people about the power of oils. A major drive for me to get into the alternative and holistic practice was my relationship with chronic pain. Dealing with chronic pain since 2007 had been quite the rollercoaster. I went to numerous doctors, was prescribed various medications to only mask my pain. I became very frustrated and looked for other ways to get a handle on it. I started float therapy which I am a huge

fan of. It wasn’t until right before the pandemic hit that I had found a doctor that was non-invasive and really helped me find answers. What’s fascinating to me was that during this time, I started subconsciously manifesting my new journey into energy healing.

offer these “make and take” classes as an option for children’s birthday parties (age requirement), extra-curricular activity groups, such as dance groups or sports teams. At my studio I do have an array of crystals, oils, and self-care products available for purchase.

Could you share some of your specialty services that you offer to your clients? Right now I offer Reiki sessions in thirty or sixty minute durations. I also offer House Blessings/Office Space Blessings/ Cleansings which I am finding to become

For those who may not be familiar, what exactly is Reiki and how does it work? If I could describe Reiki in one word, it would be “enlightening.” The word Reiki is actually two words put together. “Rei” meaning universal and “Ki” meaning life force energy. Everything around us holds energy. Sometimes energy can get stuck in the body and manifest into things we don’t want (stress, pain, illness). Reiki works by improving the flow of energy around the body. It aids in the body’s natural healing processes and supports emotional, mental, and spiritual processes. This also applies to plants, food, and animals. Intentions are set at the beginning of the session and I love how I can feel the energy move around. Reiki has no criteria, no bias, and can work long distance. If I know someone is having surgery or an important life or work event, I will send them good energy the night before and then follow up with them after the occasion.

more popular. People don’t realize how patterns of energy can affect a physical living space. I also offer one-on-one essential oil education consultations for those that are looking for alternatives to their health concerns. A fun service I offer is “make and take” classes. This involves coordinating with me a theme and picking out 3-4 self-care products to make and you get together with friends, family, and coworkers. I also

Can you give us some insights into your background and what led you to the practice of Reiki? I was actually a former educator for twelve and a half years. I was an Art Teacher, Instructional Coach and also an Intervention Specialist for ELA before I made the choice to stay home after ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 285

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“I have been an essential oil guru since 2017 and have helped so many people find alternative options for their health concerns, but I found within my heart I wanted to do more for people.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

I had my youngest daughter back in 2018. My field of teaching has definitely switched gears, but it is so humbling to know that I am making a difference in my clients’ lives. The practice of Reiki has completely changed my life. I am learning so much about myself, my openness to other people’s energy, and how their energy calls to me. What sets your practice apart and makes it unique from other holistic health providers in the industry? I find what sets my practice apart and makes my practice unique is my dedication to my clients. I really treat them like they are a part of my family. Before each session I like to chat with my clients about what’s happened with them since their last session, and if a client is a “first-timer,” I like to get to know them a little bit before the session starts. After each session I have a debriefing to discuss what was felt from my client and from myself. I also email all my clients their notes because I feel it is so important for my clients to have them to reference. So many times my clients get off the table and are in such a zone where I know when they leave they won’t remember anything that I have said. In their email I include what crystals and oils I picked to use with them and benefits, as well as all my healing feedback. I always send a text or message the day after to see how they are feeling. How does Reiki promote well-being and balance in the lives of your clients? Having an open mind certainly helps instill well-being and balance. 286

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So many times my clients have come into their session frazzled and once the session is over, they are a completely different person; more at peace, more relaxed, more calm. Reiki helps settle the nerves, lessens stress, and can allow my clients to release and let go. I really get to know my clients; their background, interests, concerns about their own well-being. I share my own experiences as I see fit to let them know they are not alone in whatever they are dealing with. I help my clients find balance in certain aspects of their life by instilling different ways of thinking to process what they are going through. Could you share some success stories or testimonials from clients who have benefited from your services? I always love when my clients give me feedback about how well they do after sessions. Recently I had a client message me a week or so after their session to tell me “the discomfort in their left leg was still gone.” Other clients have shared feelings of “being restored, centered, at peace, finding clarity and strength.” When I have preoperative clients and check with them post surgery, they have responded with “less anxious feelings than expected.” I have a client under the age of five and feedback from the parent has been “better verbalization and motor skills.” The biggest success stories are the ones from my clients that have been coming for sessions faithfully every month for the past two and a half years. Comparing how those clients were emotionally, physically, spiritually at their first session with

how they are now in 2023, it is night and day. It is so rewarding to see their growth, and continue to guide them along with their journey. In what ways do you tailor your Reiki sessions to meet the specific needs and goals of your clients? All of my clients have their own secure file that I keep. At times I will refer to past sessions to help my clients see patterns of behavior, or patterns of healing to help them understand what’s going on with them. I offer my insight as to what crystals or oils might benefit them as well. As a woman entrepreneur, what challenges have you faced while building your practice, and how have you overcome them? I think the biggest challenge I have faced is within myself and the fear of failure. Fear has a very low vibrational energy and for me to carry that inside was not going to do me any good. I turned that fear into my driving force for my success. Finding a public space that was within my budget was a bit of a challenge, however, it’s all what the universe brings you to see, and it didn’t take me long to find my cozy oasis. Do you have any advice for aspiring women entrepreneurs looking to enter the holistic health and wellness industry? My biggest piece of advice to aspiring women entrepreneurs looking to enter the holistic health and wellness industry is to take that leap of faith! There was definitely a lot of planning

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“If I could describe Reiki in one word, it would be “enlightening.” ” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

on my part to step out into the public realm, but I was determined to open my own practice. Also as a mom of two daughters under the age of 10, keeping track of their schedules on top of mine can be quite challenging, but I make it work. I’ve had this vision for myself and now that I am living it and seeing the difference that I am making, I’m more fulfilled. Having a strong support system also helps and knowing who I can go to if I have questions is a plus.

With Reiki, there is no bias, no criteria for coming for healing. My youngest client is four years old and has been coming to me since they were three. I have teenage clients and everyone else is adult age. Based on my clientele, the most common reasons for seeking out Reiki services are for stress, anxiety, chronic pain, and emotional trauma.

Can you describe the role of mindfulness and energy healing in your practice, and how they contribute to overall health and well-being? I talk to a lot of my clients about mindfulness. This is something that I don’t think a lot of people are fully aware of. Mindfulness includes anything from meditation, journaling, eating. It is about intention, awareness, and attitude. I am always working with my clients about manifestation and how the type of energy we put out, ends up coming back to us.

As someone that has experienced these reasons first-hand, I can empathize with people that come for these specific reasons. I also have clients that come for medical reasons and are looking for “something else” to help them.

What kind of clientele do you primarily serve, and what are some common reasons they seek out Reiki services?

How do you stay updated and continue to grow in your knowledge and skills as a Reiki practitioner? I have a true love for learning, and I

belong to various practitioner groups that share business ideas, experiences to gain insight, and I have a stash of books that I read. I also attend educational webinars, retreats and summits to help me stay up to date. Are there any exciting projects or developments on the horizon for ReikiRoma that you’d like to share with our readers? I have quite a plethora of ideas in my head on how I want to develop ReikiRoma more. I will be on the hunt for a bigger space of my own because eventually I want to create a wellness center. I want to create a safe place where people can come for relaxation and selfhealing. This would include a meeting space for classes and workshops, specialty services (I’m keeping this a secret for now), and bring in some other holistic specialists. I was a sponsor for the Baldwinsville Little League so I will be doing that again in 2024. In celebration of Chinese New Year, how do you incorporate elements of traditional Chinese medicine or culture into your holistic approach to wellness? ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 289

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“I find what sets my practice apart and makes my practice unique is my dedication to my clients. I really treat them like they are a part of my family.” As people work to achieve a balanced and healthy lifestyle, a holistic approach is a viable option to overall wellness and everyday living. During Reiki sessions, I incorporate elements of TCM because everything we do is powered by energy. The body and

mind are strongly connected and sometimes there is a disconnect which can ultimately lead to stress, anxiety, or even physical ailments. I talk with my clients about how our bodies respond to different environments and how outside factors can affect balance

within the body. It is important for them to understand the Yin, Yang relationship (feminine and masculine). I incorporate these elements to foster harmony within my clients, and help cultivate a deeper connection with the world around them. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 291

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ikiRoma

LINDSAY THERRIEN REIKI PRACTITIONER ENTIAL OILS ADVOCATE

REET RD. BALDWINSVILLE, NY 13027 315-278-3835 HERRIE@OSWEGO.EDU EIKIROMA.PPCBRANDS.COM

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{ HER EDGE }

A “FASCINATING” APPROACH YOU ARE ENOUGH. TO GETTING BETTER BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

While working on a news story twenty years ago I was sent to a small town to gather a story. My photographer and I knocked on doors for hours and got nowhere. I was eight months pregnant. I told my photographer to wait in the car and I walked into a main street beauty salon and asked to use the restroom. I told the owner who I was, and she graciously offered to have me sit for a minute while I caught my breath and warmed up. I used my time to listen and ask questions. Twenty minutes later, I left with the names and addresses I needed to complete the story. I knew what my advantage was – people trusted me. Granted, being pregnant on a snowy day made the people in the shop sympathetic, but that is not why they eagerly shared their details. The moral to my story; always know your advantages, in life and in business. If you do not know, no one else will either. I had not thought about this little story until recently. My friend is an executive leadership coach and my touchstone during professional slumps. As a solopreneur, you work alone without a lot of feedback. Imposter syndrome and doubt can settle in.

I was feeling overwhelmed and looking for a positive push in the right direction. Even if the work is flowing, we all need to slow down, take a beat, and reflect on who we are and what is important to us. She suggested I do a professional selfassessment. I cringed. I remember how performance reviews always sapped office morale and made managers and employees uncomfortable. She convinced me that self-assessment can help sort out your natural strengths and weaknesses. Sally Hogshead’s Fascination Advantage Test, took 15 minutes and provided 28 targeted questions to figure out which one of the 49 personality archetypes I matched. The idea is there are 7 different “triggers of fascination” combined in different ways. These determine someone’s most authentic style of communication. It piqued my interest. You can be rewarded in business and in life for what comes naturally and improving upon it. I wanted to know what makes me tick professionally, as a parent, and as a friend. In an office setting, employees benefit from the assessment by gaining a better perspective on how their unique abilities contribute to the team. Even though I no longer work with a team every day, my friend told me

learning about myself could be the linchpin to further success in business and in my personal life. The results came back the next day, identifying my archetype and key descriptors of my personal and professional style. It turns out that I am a mediator. I would not have used that word to describe myself before, but now I see it clearly. Here is a summary of my report. My personality archetype: Mediator My primary personality advantage: Alert. “You are a diligent and proactive thinker who can sense problems before others. An eye for detail and problem-solving.”: Steadfast • Composed • Vigilant • Effectual” My secondary personality advantage: Trust. “Calmly guiding others to stay the course. People often turn to you as the “hub” of a group”: Loyal • Consistent • Approachable My dormant personality trait: Power. “You are unlikely to fascinate others through command and control.” “With your dormant POWER, it is possible you might be missing opportunities to distinguish yourself, especially at work. Your messages can earn greater respect and a bigger audience, thereby increasing your influence.” Wow, that did not feel good, but it was spot on.

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{{ HER HER EDGE EDGE }} “I understand now that I have been successful in my business because I can quickly assess a situation, craft a compelling storyline, and create emotion and connection for the audience.”

I was stuck, and the 28 questions figured out why. As a solopreneur, I need to leverage my strengths for a professional edge. I am an experienced professional, and so are others. I understand now that I have been successful in my business because I can quickly assess a situation, craft a compelling storyline, and create emotion and connection for the audience. I discovered through the assessment process, the need to use those skills to tell my story. I craft storylines for my clients that will fascinate potential customers. I now know that I need to spend more time and energy on telling my own story, and why I am the best 296

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person to tell a client’s story. As solopreneurs, we all need to tell our own niche story. I have had these traits all along and just did not know it. I was alert enough to know that knocking on doors was not going to get me the story I needed. A beauty salon is full of people who love to gossip, and I was not leaving without the story. I was immediately trusted and approachable enough that the ladies were willing to share the details I needed. I no longer carry a mic flag with a television affiliate prominently displayed.

I am a solo business owner, and my personal brand is all I have now. In a distracted world, it is easy to forget who you are and what you authentically offer. I am thankful to my good friend and coach who helped me to see who I am. In addition to Fascination Advantage, she recommends these other assessments, that you can take on your own, to get started at no cost. -Via Character Strengths -Predictive Index Behavioral Assessment -Sparketype

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HAVING PURPOSE BY KAREN MESSINA

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“ The reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.”

Having PURPOSE: are you making a living or making a life?

people with certain issues. “the reason for which something exists.”

I bet if I asked you “what is your purpose in life” you might have to think about it for a moment.

Clothing stores exist so that people can have a place to buy new clothes. Workplaces exist so that people will have a place to make money.

I think the reason is, we think PURPOSE is something that it is not. Some people think that purpose is beyond them or just for high achievers. When I looked up the definition it says this: “The reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.” Let’s unpack this. The reason for which something is done. What is the reason that you do anything? The reason I get up in the morning is to go to work. The reason I go to work is to bring home a paycheck to pay my bills and feed my family. The reason I put gas in my car is so that it will run and take me from point A to point B. “the reason for which something is created.” We created a plan for building this house so we could have a bigger house. We created a garden in our yard to grow fresh vegetables, to save on grocery bills. We created a support group to help

The iPhone exists because someone had a great idea and made it a tangible item. How does this pertain to you and your purpose in life? I want you to look beyond the things I just listed. Most of those things are necessary and not so fulfilling in the sense that it feeds your soul. Going to work is a necessity. Paying bills and putting gas in your car are necessities. From that we have created things like houses and stores etc. right? Things exist because of all of that. These things were built or created intentionally to fill a need. They were done on Purpose. Now let’s take that PURPOSE and use it in your life. I am sure when the first brick and mortar business was built, the person who thought of it was filled with joy because they filled a need and it gave them great pride. The person who created a gas station or grocery store was most likely also filled with joy to see consumers having their needs met. Things exist because some one person

had a thought or idea and made that become real for themselves and for many people. Your purpose in life is to know the reason you are doing something. To know that you created that something with your thoughts and feelings. And to know that it even exists because of you. You might still be saying, “well that is all well and good but I still don’t know my purpose” Now is the time to stop and think about your day to day life and think about the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists in your life…. AND DOES IT BRING YOU JOY? If it doesn’t, now is the time to find something that does. Keep in mind that “purpose” in your life is done intentionally. Be intentional with your thoughts and actions. Think about what brings you joy. For me, that is most important. Is what you are doing bringing you joy? Sometimes just finding something in your life, outside of your day to day, like volunteering or helping others that are less fortunate can be so rewarding. You might just be the person who plays with the kids at a gathering because they are bored to tears. When they light up because ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 301

{ COACHING COACHING WITH WITH KAREN KAREN }} “Don’t wait until you are completely burned out or too old or so stressed that you can’t even think clearly.”

you have saved them from a day of gloom and doom, you will feel so much joy. You might help out at an animal shelter or a nursing home. Maybe find something you love to do, like playing BINGO for example and then volunteer at a BINGO hall. Or if you love to roller skate you might be able to help “new skaters” get rolling lol. It can be so simple but bring so much joy. You might look so forward to doing the thing that brings you joy, that it makes the day-to-day tasks more tolerable. I like to give you some examples: I met a woman who is a home organizer. She just loves organizing and clearing out clutter and things that many people dislike doing. It wasn’t her fulltime job but when her life took some turns, she decided to do the thing that really brought her joy. She started a business of home organizing. I know many women who have come out of abusive relationships and used their pain to help others. Simply giving 302

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advice, speaking from experience and seeing how much of an impact you can make in someone’s life is so rewarding. Don’t wait until you are completely burned out or too old or so stressed that you can’t even think clearly.

Safe relationships, safe environments and purpose in your life are the 3 things known to help heal past

emotional wounds and pain. I can help you find your purpose in life. What have you got to lose? You can reach out via my website at karenmessina.com….. Sign up for your free consultation.

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MOVING FORWARD IN THESE TRYING TIMES BY LISA WAGNER

How to Find Our Way Honestly, this article is the hardest one that I’ve had to write to date. As I sit here today trying to figure out what I can say that is of service to my reader is a little daunting. I love writing these articles. They are the gracious opportunity to be a voice for you. To show you that you are heard, seen, and held in a sacred and loving way. The gratitude I feel for this platform and for being asked to be a contributor is something I take incredibly seriously. Currently, the world is extraordinarily unstable and scary. We are seeing more hate and fear than many of us have in our entire lifetimes. This can bring up old childhood or adult traumas that linger, asking for our attention so that they can keep healing. So how do we move forward during these trying times? How do we find our way? I am incredibly blessed to have an amazing therapist and support team around me. My husband, family and friends give me strength to put one foot in front of the other every day. I ask myself, as I begin each day “what is the legacy I wish to leave behind?” I want my sweet little granddaughter to be proud of me. I want my children, dad, siblings, and husband to feel a sense of pride, as well. I hope to leave a loving mark behind that adds light into the darkest places. Basically, what many of us hope for in our lifetimes. It is challenging during these difficult days to muster up the energy to be that light, but I remember my granddaughter’s face and my love for those closest to me, and I know I need to show up. To inspire others to show up for themselves. That can look like so many different things to each of us. “Showing up” in my studio and doing 304

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the work each day is one of the greatest gifts I can offer the world and myself. Through art, I can be the voice for those who have none. It is a privilege to paint pieces that add beauty to the world and start conversations amongst strangers. The work that you do each day adds light one done from a place of love. Never underestimate that power. Your “art” may look different than mine, but it is your strength and your gift that the world seeks. It is the balm our aching hearts crave. Asking yourself how what you will do today can be of service and to be shown that path adds to your power. Never take that for granted. In times of war, the first thing to disappear is the arts. It is where voices are given in protest to the atrocities that are being committed. It is seen as a threat by the powers that be because it speaks truth. It is a visual reminder of what it is those who wish to tear us apart, pitting us against one another, due to their need for power. It depicts what they are doing to us as a collective without regard for human life and humanity. They have a refusal to see that, as Gary Zukav states in the very beginning of his monumental book, “The Heart of the Soul,” that the “quest for power is the root of all misery.” Corrupt leaders ask you follow them blindly and believe they are doing this for us. Taking off those blinders by making the choice to generously share and partake in our creative endeavors is the best weapon against that kind of mind-control and manipulation of our deepest fears. “The only things standing between you and the compassionate, wise and creative person that you want to be are matters of choice. Your choice. No one can occupy your generosity except you.” Gary Zukav

This does not mean that you need to become an artist, writer, singer-songwriter, actor, etc. You only need to tap into your creativity in whatever form that takes for you. Your creative voice is your weapon against fear and oppression. It is the sword that you may use to slice through the darkness and add light from your heart to those places. Detach yourself from your expectations and the final outcomes. What matters is that you used your light for the highest good. It is what is being asked of us from the moment we are conscious beings. Allowing yourself sacred space that no fear or darkness may occupy helps us to tap into our gifts. That space needs protecting and guarding from forces that wish to infiltrate it in order to tear it down. Darkness does not want your light to shine. I view darkness as ego. Its cruel voices that hold you back and create chaos in our world want to snuff out your flame. Vigilance is required to keep your space and your home pristine. Building your own self-awareness and listening to your gut are beautiful first steps towards this. I visualize it as a spring cleaning; removing the cobwebs and dust that accumulate in the corners that have gone unnoticed for long lengths of time until they can no longer be ignored. Personal rituals that you design for your heart’s growth is a beautiful form of creativeness. My favorite daily meditation ritual begins by lighting a white candle in my meditation space. (I now have several of them that I consider to be symbolic of my appreciation for all my ancestors and presence in my life.) They help me connect to my angels and my highest self. I also feel them connect to my ancestors in a way of honoring them through that light. I then cleanse the space with my singing

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{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE } { MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE } “Liberating our souls through love and creativity is what will save us and move us forward. Stand up for what is right.”

bowls and my Palo Santo stick. I ask that anything not in full alignment with love leave my space so that only that which is fully aligned with love remains. I make no bones about it. I wish only to be surrounded by light and love. I then wish that for all other beings. Even those who do not wish that for me. (Not always easy.) I ask that my words, actions, thoughts, and work be of the highest service. That I may speak for those who cannot and honor their pain and their light. This ritual sets the tone for my day, reminding me that we each just want to be seen, heard, and loved. That those who are in the most pain need profound compassion. Valuing our own purpose takes work. When I say this, I am speaking about holding space for ourselves and others. That you are as valuable as anyone else. That we each have gifts that we are being asked to give and carry out with generosity. Many of us have faced big traumas in our lives that make this process much more difficult. Professional help from grief counselors and our own personal practices such as prayer, meditation, creativity, exercise or my personal favorite, yoga, add to our selfcare practices. They open our heart space to receive the love that is waiting to be given to you. This allows you to give it away freely knowing there is always an abundance of love available to you. We just have to know and believe that we are worthy to receive that. Brené Brown has a beautiful way to describe this; “Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” A proverb I once heard that I hope brings this all into perspective (I apologize that I do not recall the source); “The Indigenous Tribe’s Chief was introducing

a man around the reservation to its prominent residents. The Chief pointed out the man who was standing on the hill, swaying his arms to one side up towards the sky like a conductor. The Chief proclaimed that this was their “Weather Maker.” The man then asked, “Why does he believe he can change the weather?” The Chief’s answer? “Because no one ever told him he couldn’t.” You are the only thing standing in the way of becoming what you believed you could be when you were a small child. When we deeply experience these selfrealizations, it no longer allows for anything other than love to be in our space. If we occasionally veer from love, it becomes easier to come back again to that state of being. Love is what allows us to use our voices for good; to speak up when we witness atrocities, cruelty, and injustices. We can stand tall and know that when we are fully aligned with love, we are no match for darkness. It is shown for what it is and cannot reside were love abides fully. It also helps us to be in our darkest of times knowing that all we need to do is refocus so that we may turn our light back on again. The pain we have suffered throughout our lives is what helps us to appreciate the light and gives us a place of our built resilience to quickly return to it. When one suffers, we all suffer. When they go unseen and unacknowledged, the collective pain grows and permeates our planet and our universe. Being conscious in each moment as witnesses to our reactions and our feelings helps us to navigate back to love. It also becomes a beacon for those whose light is more difficult to conjure. Reaching out and checking in with one another, once we have done that for ourselves, is what builds back a more loving way of

being. To truly hear one another and acknowledge emotions and the “why” of their pain creates a planet we may all feel safe in. That we can be vulnerable without fear and grow in mind and spirit in ways that honor ourselves and one another. That is what love looks like. It is what we each deserve. Dipping in and out of the news or media that shows us current events will help you to learn your level of tolerance to be a witness to that suffering. Do not feel guilt for having to step away from information or social situations. Take what you need. Once you feel ready come back to check in again, know you are supporting others who took over for you while you were regrouping. We can help hold each other up in that way and make change much more effective when we listen to our gut’s intuition to know when we need to rest and when we are ready to come back into the arena. You are only human, and it is okay to not always be okay. Liberating our souls through love and creativity is what will save us and move us forward. Stand up for what is right. Listen to others with kindness, compassion, and curiosity. Lovingly speak your truth and allow your soul to be seen and heard without fear. Use your own platform, no matter how small, to unchain your heart and be who you are meant to become; a loving leader that stands in your beautiful light. It is a place where shame and fear cannot reside. It gives others hope that we are going to make it when we each follow that lead. We have the power to change the current trajectory of the world just by being who we truly are; perfect souls.

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A THANKFUL HEART BY LORI BRUTON

Gifts and Gratitude for this Holiday Season What are you thankful for this year? As I write this, Thanksgiving is drawing near, it reminds me who and what is dear to my heart. It’s easy to let each day pass and take our loved ones and health for granted. Once this day is gone, it’s gone forever. It’s important to take time to gather with family and friends, share a meal, and express gratitude for the good things in life. My mother always said to bring her flowers and the gift of time while she was alive and not wait until she is gone. Bless her soul. She was a precious gift to me and my family. We all enjoyed her delicious meals. She sure could bake some tasty homemade pies. This year we are thankful that my dear daughter-in-love (yes, love) is alive and recovering from a critical health incident. Her life was spared. Hallelujah! No matter your age and appearance of good health, an attack can blindside you and knock you down. Don’t stay down. Look up and get up. Surround yourself with positive, caring, encouraging people. When you’re hurting, don’t lose hope. Turn to the Healer and Comforter. There is always room for you at the Lord’s table. Feast on fresh bread and drink from His cup. Chew on the Living Word of God that will soothe your soul and bring you peace, joy, and love from the Prince of Peace.

You are never alone. You are always welcome in the family of God. He delights in you. Choose eternal life and you’ll experience the greatest love of all with a deeper level of intimacy. There was a time I walked away. I didn’t believe it. How could God love me when I didn’t love myself during that season of my life? Guess what? He never leaves us or forsakes us. We are the ones who distance ourselves. Come back to the Father. Choose faith, hope, and love. It’s a standing invitation. Did you accept your invitation yet? Don’t wait. Seize the moment. Every day is a gift. It’s harvest time. His blessings are overflowing. Keep your sense of wonder and usher in thanksgiving. Rejoice! Greet one another warmly. Hugs are healing and they’re free. What a gift to someone who feels lonely and forgotten. Celebrate life and each other. Don’t let anything or anyone steal your joy. The world tempts us with counterfeit love and fulfillment that may lead to addictions and harm. It’s subtle. I opened the wrong doors long ago that nearly stole my soul and my life. Close the door to the serpent’s power. Too many have allowed the enemy to have a hold on them. They are blinded to the Truth. Open the door to God’s power. I am thankful for God’s grace and mercy. Guard your heart and your health, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I am thankful for natural resources to support my health journey. I have

seen accelerated results with my daughter-in-love’s recovery using these specific resources and recipes. Speaking of recipes, I have my holiday favorites. Not only pie and cookie recipes, but diffuser recipes that fill the atmosphere with the aroma of cinnamon, orange, pine, and Christmas Spirit. There are many benefits to diffusing certain essential oils. It can support your mood, focus, energy, and immunity. The molecules interact with your nervous system through your olfactory receptors in your nose when you inhale the powerful aromas of the ones I use. Diffusing makes your space smell good, cleanses the air, and is inviting. Even grumpy people get happy when they enter and breathe in the joy. Thanksgiving is also a time of service to others in the community. I am thankful for this community of The Influential Woman and the privilege to encourage, inspire and influence each other and each life we touch in our own circles. Soon, we will turn the calendar to December. Gift giving, celebrations, and decorations galore. Remember the reason for this season. My birthday? Yes, but I’m talking about the birth of a baby sent to us to save this world, Jesus Christ. He is the greatest gift of all. The secular world has no reverence or recognition for the real reason. Let’s get back to not just filling our stockings but filling our hearts with love because He first loved us. When you sit by the fire with a cup of cocoa, let the Holy Spirit light a fire inside ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: NOVEMBER EDITION 2023 311

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“Soon, we will turn the calendar to December. Gift giving, celebrations, and decorations galore. Remember the reason for this season.” Wrap gifts with pretty bows. Remember to also wrap your loved ones with a big hug. Let your love show. Tell every person how much they mean to you. Share stories and compliments and laughter too. Smile and greet every person you meet. In closing, I want to share this poem from Someone Cares by Helen Steiner Rice. Thank you, God, for everything, the big things and the small, For every good gift comes from God, 312

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the giver of them all. And all too often we accept without any thanks or praise. The gifts God sends as blessings each day in many ways. So thank you for the little things that often come our way, The things we take for granted, but don’t mention when we pray. The unexpected courtesy, the thoughtful, kindly deed, A hand reached out to help us in the time of sudden need. Oh, make us more aware, dear God, of little daily graces,

That come to us with sweet surprise from never-dreamed-of places. May God bless you and keep you close. Much love, Lori

lori

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PERILS OF PERFECTIONISM BY BONNIE FLOYD

How many of you have ever struggled with perfectionism at some time during. your lifetime? Although it’s praiseworthy to high standards for our performance, it’s ultimately self-defeating to insist on pursuing consistently flawless outcomes. Regardless of how hard we try, perfection is not ever a truly attainable goal. Repeatedly trying to reach such an aspiration is a futile exercise, and one that proves to be hopelessly inefficient. It simply wastes our valuable, finite resources of time and energy. Furthermore, consistently trying to obtain perfection undoubtedly produces additional stress in our lives. Consequently, our ability to engage in creative, divergent forms of thinking is further diminished. Given that perfectionism is so unrealistic, why do so many of us still insist on trying to obtain this goal? Several hypotheses have been proposed: 1). Cognitive distortions; 2). Parents or caregivers with unrealistically high expectations for our performance; 3). Desire to avoid failure or harsh judgment; and, 4). Equating our self-worth with our performance. Procrastination is frequently linked to perfectionism. An individual may put off starting a project if he/she believes that they are incapable of executing it without any mistakes or flaws. After all, if you take zero action, none of your actions can be deemed less than perfect. Conversely, procrastination is sometimes actually linked to a fear of success. You may delay expending effort due to the strong belief that your success will inevitably lead to further expectations for your performance. Not infrequently, perfectionistic behaviors begin as a response to trauma having been experienced in an individual’s life. Trauma, of course, involves a dramatic loss of control in one’s life. Perfectionism is an extreme form of attempting to exert control.

Women may be especially vulnerable to perfectionistic tendencies about their physical appearances. Our frequent scrolling through social media, along with engaging in ongoing teletherapy sessions, has heightened our awareness of our every flaw. Ironically enough, the very filters that are used enhance one’s appearance in social media profiles distort one’s actual appearance. For example, an adolescent female who is raised in a home with a parent struggled with alcohol use disorder is exposed to repeated trauma. She may be highly vulnerable to developing an eating disorder, since it allows her to exert an extreme degree of control over what she places in her body, despite being unable to control what is happening in her family environment. This may be combined with perfectionistic tendencies, further cementing an eating disorder. I like to label myself as a “recovering perfectionistic.” It has taken me more years than I care to admit, plus my own involvement with receiving therapy, to learn that very good is indeed, “good enough.” Taking a watercolor class, approximately thirty years ago, proved powerfully instructive. I quickly learned that perfection is the enemy of the good when working with this artistic medium. If you attempt to fix a minor error when painting in watercolor, you merely end up defacing the paper upon which you are painting. Therefore, good has to be “good enough.” As my career as a clinical health psychologist has unfolded during the past two decades, I’ve happily learned that the world hasn’t stopped spinning because I’ve failed to submit less than perfect progress notes, psychological reports, or other forms of assessment. Of course, the increased demands of establishing a private practice forced me to have relatively less time for

the luxury of obsessing over how perfect my documentation might be on any given day. I soon learned that timeliness and efficiency were critical factors for my overall success as a practitioner. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be an effective therapeutic intervention for individuals who struggle with perfectionism. Essentially CBT is posited on the basis that our cognitive distortions are responsible for eliciting uncomfortable emotional states. By challenging our maladaptive thought patterns, we have the power to directly alter the moods that are triggered by our thoughts. Of course, this form of therapy doesn’t yield immediate results. Most of us have acquired faulty thought patterns over periods of many years, even decades. Still, it is incredibly exciting to realize that engaging in CBT can yield results that are comparable to those achieved in individuals who take antidepressant medications. The most recent research supports that individuals who struggle with perfectionism will greatly benefit from reception of CBT. Psychotropic medication may also be necessary, if an individual who displays perfectionistic behaviors meets criteria for either an anxiety or depressive disorder. It is generally accepted that the gold standard of treatment is for an individual to receive medication, plus psychotherapy, given that this combination yields synergistic results to either treatment pursued independently. Please remember, if are truggling with perfectionism, help is possible. Receiving psychotherapy can help you challenge unhealthy though lt patterns about needing to be flawless in order to be valuable.

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INSTEAD OF FINDING YOUR PURPOSE, DO THIS INSTEAD BY KAREN GRIFFARD PUTZ

Purpose and passion go hand in hand, but the most common mistake that people make is trying to “find it.” When you seek out a purpose for your life by trying to answer the question, “What is my purpose,” you’ll likely hit roadblocks in your mind. There’s two reasons for this: one, our minds resist as dynamic human beings to narrow down a singular purpose for our lives; and two, we are multidimensional and the idea of “purpose” often puts a box around who we are. As a life coach, I often have clients coming to me asking how to “find their purpose.” Here’s what I encourage them to do, instead: Create a purpose. Passion and purpose go hand in hand. A tool like The Passion Test (www. thepassiontest.com) can help you identify your top five passions and create an aligned plan. Both passion and purpose begin with the first step: knowing yourself. When you have a clear understanding of who you are, what you want, and how you want to live your life, then you have the means to create your purpose. When you begin with passion, you can then create purpose. The opposite is also true, when you live with purpose, the energy of passion appears. Passion has five levels, or what I call the C.L.E.A.R. path to passion. The “C” is for curiosity. What are you curious about? What do you want to learn more about? What would you like to experience? Start there. 318

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The “L” is for Learning–once you’ve identified what you’re curious about, the learning follows. However, the average person often will identify something they’re curious about and then just file it away in their head. They may never take action in exploring that curiosity. So passion never gets a chance to be birthed. This is why I encourage clients to begin with a beginner’s mind–explore what you’re curious about with an open mind. Immerse yourself in the experience of learning. Once learning takes place–a spark can lead to fire. Suddenly, you find yourself recognizing a new energy–one of excitement and enthusiasm. You want to learn more. You want to experience more. You want to dive deeper. But…if something is too hard, you may hit a snag in your experience and then drop it. If it costs too much, takes a lot of time, or your skills just aren’t there yet, you may back away. When this happens, passion retreats. It never gets to hit that next level. Let me pause here and explain something about passion. I define passion as “your joy.” It’s a simple way to recognize the energy of passion in your life. The surprising meaning behind passion is this: the willingness to suffer. My friend, Solange Skyer, prefers to define it as the “willingness to sacrifice.” This means you’re willing to put in the work and go above and beyond once you identify what you’re passionate about. This is where passion and purpose begin to merge. The next level is the “A” level–or the awareness and action level. You’re able to identify what you’re passionate about

and you begin to set goals or experiences around this passion. Purpose comes from defining what’s meaningful to you and how you want to experience your passionate energy. At this stage, I encourage people to create a Passion Quest. A quest is an experience with meaning and a goal. It has a beginning and an end–and purpose is tied to it. An example of a Passion Quest is one of my own: I’m on a quest to barefoot water ski in all 50 states while in midlife. My purpose? To experience the enjoyment of barefooting with people from all states and have an AWEsome experience to look back on. Here are some suggestions to get you started with passion and purpose: - Explore your passions first: Rather than fixating on a singular purpose, focus on exploring activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Engage in hobbies, sports, or creative pursuits that ignite your passion and enthusiasm. -Set meaningful goals that are important to you: Define short-term and longterm goals that align with your values and aspirations. Striving toward these objectives can provide a sense of direction and accomplishment, even if they do not directly relate to a grand purpose. -Embrace the journey: Instead of obsessing over a specific end goal or honing in on defining purpose, learn to appreciate the journey itself. Focus on the present moment and find joy in the process of personal growth and self-discovery. Often purpose will reveal itself when you shift to appreciation. -Cultivate gratitude: Practice gratitude by acknowledging the positive aspects of

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{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE { THE PASSION MENTOR { SHIFT+CONTROL } } } “Purpose and passion go hand in hand, but the most common mistake that people make is trying to “find it.”

your life. Recognizing and appreciating the small blessings can foster a sense of fulfillment and purpose in the present moment. -Contribute to others: Engage in acts of kindness and service to others. Volunteering, helping a friend, or participating in community activities around something you’re passionate about can provide a sense of purpose by making a positive impact on the lives of others.

-Focus on personal development: Invest in continuous learning and self-improvement. Developing new skills and knowledge can lead to personal growth and a sense of achievement, regardless of a specific purpose. Seek out others who are living the sense of passion and purpose that aligns with yours. Those who are further along the path that you seek can help you cut the learning curve on your own passion path.

Karen Putz is known as “The Passion Mentor.” She is a certified Mindvalley Life Coach and Certified Passion Test Facilitator. Karen is the author of multiple books, including the popular, “Unwrapping Your Passion, Creating the Life You Truly Want.” Learn more here: www.yourpassionschool.com and grab her free gift: How to Live Your Passion.

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WHAT ARE YOU GIVING AND RECEIVING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON? BY KAITLYN VITTOZZI

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{{ SHIFT+CONTROL LIFE IN BALANCE } “The holidays can be very depressing for many, or load up some of us with feelings of restlessness and unnecessary anxiousness. These daily Naikan reflections encouraged me to appreciate the small things.”

I am in the camp that loves Christmas morning: tearing open the paper over a hot mug of coffee. The lights on the tree, the flannel jammies. While I’m fortunate to always receive thoughtful presents and look forward to seeing everyone open what I have purchased for them – the truth is we give and receive from one another, 365 days a year. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. The Japanese Practice of Naikan helps us explore that. In The Art of Taking Action Gregg Krech describes Naikan, “It is a method of self-reflection that has its roots in Shin Buddhism from Japan. Naikan was developed by Yoshimoto Ishin, a businessman and devout Buddhist who wanted to offer a process of selfreflection that would be accessible to people in daily life. Naikan provides a systematic approach to reflecting on ourselves and our relationships that helps us appreciate the ways we are being cared for and supported, many of which we take for granted during the course of an ordinary day. It also helps us become aware of the impact our lives are having on the world around us. In essence, we get to see ourselves from the world’s perspective, instead of our own. The process of Naikan reflection is relatively simple. It is based on three questions: (1) What have I received from ____? (2) What have I given to ______? (3) What troubles and difficulties have I caused ______? These questions provide a framework for reflecting on parents, friends, teachers, siblings, colleagues, children and partners.

We reflect by answering these questions within a defined period of time. The time period we examine can be as short as a day or as long as three to four years.” The cooler months at the end of the year are the perfect time for reflection. Several years ago I was enrolled in a course with Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy. They challenged us to a 30-Day Naikan journal for the month of November. We know it takes 30 days to make a habit so November fit that perfectly. For 30 days, I logged at the end of the day what I received, gave and what troubles and difficulties I caused. Overall, it brought me more appreciation for the little things. Yes – I did gift pizzas from the Pizza Garage to my sister’s house for dinner last night. I also received two free glasses of wine and a comfy couch to sit on. The world has a natural give and take. Over the past few years I have been having couples who come in for yoga therapy practice Naikan with each other and have been privileged to witness clients express gratitude for their partner while at the same time being able to acknowledge their mis-steps in a safe, non-judgmental, humble space.

or experiencing compassion fatigue that has been so prevalent since the pandemic began, this might be for you. As a busy woman, you may be hesitant to look – but there is something powerful about seeing it in writing and seeing where you can add more receiving, or even a little less giving to your day in and day out.

So what’s the connection between this and the hectic holiday season? The holidays can be very depressing for many, or load up some of us with feelings of restlessness and unnecessary anxiousness. These daily Naikan reflections encouraged me to appreciate the small things. A co-worker who found an email for me when I was swamped. The outstanding advice I get via text on a nearly daily basis.

I encourage you to practice this for 30 days, especially during this time of the year where it’s hard to slow down. Bonus: A week of this may also bring a little bit of clarity around what you really need to get folks on your gift list. Does embodied self-reflection interest you? Visit PenfieldYogaTherapy.com to schedule a free phone consultation with Kaitlyn Vittozzi, C-IAYT Yoga Therapist.

If you feel like you are giving too much (“pouring from an empty cup)

This holiday season will be difficult for so many this year. Why make it unnecessarily difficult? The Naikan practice is an important reminder of the importance of presence. For myself, I had caught myself trying to read a text message quickly, not reading it fully, responding and causing someone else a headache. Running late, frustrated at myself for not giving myself enough time I got short with the girl behind the counter at the coffee shop. Naikan can be a helpful reminder that the world is not always out to make life hard. Sometime we make it harder than it needs to be. Our actions have a ripple effect. If we could all make our ripple a little less negative, all of our inner circles could find a little bit more peace this holiday season.

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