Spring 2024

SPRING 2024

CURATED CONTENT FOR SELF HEALERS

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content

page(s)

SPRING 2024

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PRACTICAL MAGIC TEA

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Hair and Scalp Tips

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Homemade Vanilla Extract

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Animal Talk with Kate

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Tarot Message

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Spirit Animal Message

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KEARA KISSES

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Minimalism

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Self-Healing Journey Notes

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“Follow the Trees...”

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'Solving the ADHD Riddle”

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excerpt by Connie McReynolds

Parenting Tips MOM XOX Better Work Days Meaningful Work Contributors Self Healing Directory

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kearakisses.com

Hi! After visiting Nicaragua, I donated or sold everything I owned, packed two suitcases, purchased non-refundable airline tickets, and...

My dog Kato, got canine flu. One day before I was scheduled to leave, we were at the vet getting antibiotics and cough suppressants.

No, these antibiotics and cough suppressants were not expected to change a thing, and in fact, they didn’t. For the first several days, Kato coughed so hard that he threw up spots of blood.

My lease was up, and I had to leave the following day for somewhere, and it wasn’t going to be an airplane en route to Nicaragua. Where would I go with my cat and sick dog?

In the midst of selling my belongings, I made a new friend, Alisha. I actually made two friends named Alisha, but the other one is Alesia. Both have played very important roles in the decision to move to Nicaragua.

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Alisha asked if they could foster or adopt Kato if I weren’t planning on taking him. I knew she would be a perfect resource, and she was.

Alisha and her new husband welcomed Kato and kitty Brownie with open arms. I have been staying with them since February 1st, waiting for Kato to improve.

Three weeks later, his coughing is down to about three small bouts a day. He has drastically improved and is definitely feeling better! How blessed am I to have a place to stay while I wait to travel?

Even luckier to have a place to stay in Nicaragua until my rental in San Juan is ready in late March. San Juan is right on the ocean. 30 minutes from Costa Rica. It is a fishing village, and my landlord owns a fishing charter business. Jacob, now 21. cannot wait to come down and go fishing. He has been working for a fishing company and learning so much!

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I am looking forward to this new adventure and will be creating programs for families and children in Nicaragua. If you are interested in participating, please contact me at kearakisses44@gmail.com or momxox@gmail.com. I will also collect donations for sterilizing stray animals in Nicaragua.

It was my intention to include pictures of some of the animals that have been rescued. AnnMarie and Scott have so many perfect animals that they have rescued! Cats, dogs, horses, rabbits, swans...oh my! We travelled most of my visit last time, this time I should have more time with these sweet animals!

Their homemade dog biscuits are in Alisha’s freezer, waiting for them! Have any of you tried to make your own?

In addition to this work, I am also creating programs for managers to co-create thriving workplaces. It feels great to work on projects that I am passionate about! I would love to hear from you; feel free to email me!

Love, Lori

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PLANT MAGIC Hair and Scalp Tips Our hair and scalp can benefit from plant oils.

Wash your scalp; it needs it more than your hair!

Gently massaging your scalp while washing stimulates hair growth.

Place drops of oil such as cedarwood, lavender, or tea tree oil in your shampoo to soothe the scalp and lessen dandruff, dry scalp, and scalp psoriasis.

Use argan or jojoba oil on your scalp-gently warm oil to help with absorption, and then apply it all over your scalp. Leave for 20-30 minutes, then shampoo and condition as usual.

Small amounts may be used on the ends of your hair to detangle or condition ends.

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Vanilla Extract Ingredients: One pound of Madagascar Vanilla Beans 750 ml Vanilla Vodka Glass Jar with Lid Love Patience Directions: Cut the beans open and scrape as many seeds into the vodka as possible.

Cover. Shake. Store in a dark, cool place.

Shake/stir every few days.

Infuse as long as possible before using.

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ANIMAL

TALK with Kate Kate and Gordie

It’s a belief that nearly every little girl dreams of one day owning a pony of her own, I was not one of those little girls.

Ever since I can remember, I dreamed of owning a different kind of pet; one many people would look at with disgust or run scared in the opposite direction.

I dreamed of owning a snake, not a little snake like a Garter snake, but a big one like a Python. I had always loved animals of all kinds and was especially fascinated with reptiles.

From a young age, I was always catching snakes outside or trying to hold them at petting zoos, and I knew one day I would have one of my very own. Unfortunately, my dream would have to wait until I was out of my parent's house, but nonetheless, it came true.

On March 21st, 2019, Gordie joined my household. He was a ball python, and he was just a few months old.

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Getting Gordie was both very exciting for me and very eyeopening; I have learned a lot about owning an “exotic” animal, and as much as I love him and enjoy the experience, there is work and responsibility to caring for this pet.

People may think exotic pets like snakes are easier or less work than other pets such as dogs, but if you want to provide the proper care to keep your pet as healthy and happy as possible, know it may not be as easy as you think.

Gordie chilling in cooling area

Reptiles require special care, and there are many essential facts you must learn and understand before bringing home your scaled friend.

Reptiles are cold-blooded, which means they cannot regulate their body temperature, which is actually impacted by the environment in which they are. Because of this, reptiles need an environment that provides them with heat and an area where they can cool down if needed.

You must ensure their environment is appropriate for their needs, with basking areas and cooling areas. The temperature and humidity must be a precise measurement.

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This can be achieved through various ways; researching different options is essential to determine which ones fit your reptile's needs best.

Make sure it is the best environment possible for your reptile, as environmental issues can lead to stress and health issues for your pet.

Gordie hanging in the living room

It is also essential to understand a reptile's diet, as some reptiles are carnivores, which means you have to be willing to meet their dietary needs, such as feeding them live insects or small critters (fresh or frozen rodents).

If you are uncomfortable meeting their feeding needs, you must reconsider the type of reptile you want, as it is necessary for your pet's health to get the proper nutrition.

Veterinary care is another essential aspect of owning any pet, whether it is a horse, a dog, a cat, or a snake. It is important to note that not all vet clinics treat exotic animals, so you will want to do your research and call your local vet clinics to see which ones can treat your reptile.

Other factors to consider before deciding what reptile is right for you include the level of previous reptile experience recommended (some are easier to care for than others), the personality traits of

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the reptile (some are known to be docile or aggressive), the amount of type of handling the reptile prefers, the level of socialization necessary, and their lifespan. The tortoise’s lifespan is 80-150 years, so they will likely outlive you, in which case you will need to make arrangements for where he or she will be placed upon your death.

Ball pythons make good pets because they are not aggressive but rather shy (they get their name from simply curly up into a ball when scared). Corn snakes are also known for being friendly and docile, while the reticulated python and green tree python are known to be aggressive and more challenging to handle.

It is essential to really understand the reptile you are interested in to make sure they are the best fit for what you are looking for.

As an avid animal lover, I understand the joy and happiness animals can bring us, especially those that fascinate us most. But it is crucial for us to understand these animals, their personality traits, and their needs and requirements before we commit to caring for one.

Animals are living beings that deserve to live the best life they can, and in many cases, due to captivity, that means relying on us to provide that.

Gordie basking outside

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collective 3 card read Ace of Pentacles, The Devil and The Fool This combination of cards has a very clear message.

A new beginning is waiting for you. It comes after you release beliefs and thoughts that are limiting you, beliefs and thoughts that keep you trapped.

The devil card often represents our ego. This might be limiting beliefs, attachments, or defense mechanisms that block our clarity.

Sixes represent harmony and balance. Focus your attention on any thoughts that sabotage instead of serve you. Transmute those thoughts into ones that feel more balanced and harmonious. Practice thinking loving thoughts, and you will celebrate balance and harmony in your life.

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Spirit Animal Messages DRAGONFLY Adaptability, Transformation, Wisdom Dragonfly offers profound wisdom and guidance, inspiring those who connect with its energy to embrace adaptability, spiritual growth, and transformation.

A symbol of change, connection, and flexibility, a dragonfly shows up to declare good luck and that new beginnings are near.

Embrace the change, connect with nature, and trust your instincts, know that the answers you seek are within you.

If a dragonfly shows up in your life, pay attention to any insights you have; they may lead you to abundance and rebirth. Know that you have what it takes to transform your life.

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Minimalism is To be happy with less in a world of more is one of the best indicators of a healing journey.

stress we are putting ourselves through to fit in and to have enough.

Every day, we are bombarded with messages about manifesting more. More love, more money, more things, more work. More, more, more. We drive bigger cars, eat bigger portions of food, and measure ourselves and each other by the size of our paychecks.

Like most people, I fell prey to commercialism, the endless marketing of others telling me what I needed to be happy. It was exhausting.

I have always found it ironic to walk past large, albeit beautiful, homes with no signs of life. There are no cars in the driveway, kids playing in the yard, and no animals barking. Everyone is working to pay for a home they barely enjoy because they are so busy working.

Taking care of all these things and worrying about if I had the best of the best drained my energy and robbed me of joy.

I was looking for happiness outside of myself, and it was every bit as elusive as it seemed.

I have so many friends who make more than enough money to live happily but instead are consumed with working or thinking about work.

I longed for a simpler life but didn’t know how to break out of lifelong conditioning and patterns that left me thinking I needed more. These patterns left me living from paycheck to paycheck and never feeling like I had enough. It felt as disgusting as it sounds.

Anxiety, depression, and high blood pressure are all signs of the

My attempts to avoid these patterns were met with dismay

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Next Level Abundance and shock. I like to make handmade gifts for people; for me, this shows my love better than a store-bought gift. These handmade gifts always cost me a lot of time and energy and more money than a store-bought gift would have.

These gifts were not appreciated or valued because they did not meet the expectations of those receiving them. What does that say about our culture?

When I told friends I was relieving myself of my possessions and moving overseas, I was met with great concern. And some of those friends were relieved of our friendship.

This decision did not come easily.

It was a series of decisions. A divorce in 2016 left me purging a large portion of my book collection. I thought I couldn’t have storage for all of my books and thus donated them to the library.

Imagine my surprise when I purchased a house with its own library! I went from a 2500 square foot house and husband to a 4500 square house with no husband.

In addition to this house, I opened a 1600-square-foot tea shop. Oh, the furniture and things I was able to acquire! I am an excellent shopper! I used these items for any number of years and then sold nearly everything for more than I paid! But, I digress...

What I learned over the years through these experiences was that everything I owned also owned me.

While I took great pleasure in the compliments I received about my decorating, there came a point in my life when none of this mattered anymore.

In 2019, my daughter had a seizure and passed away in my big, beautiful home.

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Suddenly, all that had mattered mattered no more.

What my house looked like, how clean or dirty it was, no longer mattered. Even though it felt like I was selling all I owned, I managed to fill a 22-foot moving truck and drive it 6 states away to begin over again.

I moved into a 1600-square-foot townhome and placed a large amount of my things in storage.

After a year and a $1500 cost to store, I donated the contents to GoodWill.

Living in a brand new home in a poor neighborhood, I still wasn’t truly happy. I was sick of all the materialism and wondered how to break free.

These feelings didn’t manifest overnight. It was a process-a process of noticing the abundance that surrounds me.

When you are present and really observe from a place of objectivity, you can see it too.

Love and spirit are abundant around us when we choose to see it.

I have found the individuals who are homeless to display the most love and spirit of anyone I meet. If they can be happy with so little, why aren’t we happy with all we have?

I examined fear. Fear of not being or having enough. Fear of being homeless. Fear of not fitting in.

Fear in all its shapes and forms. I thanked fear for showing up to illuminate where my thinking was not serving me and committed myself to transmuting the thoughts that kept me stuck.

I had some help from my daughter, too. Oddly, I broke multiple mugs, one right after the other. The mugs had been my daughters' or had been given to me by my daughter.

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I would become nearly hysterical when this happened and then would suddenly hear, “They are just things. I am not that mug.” I was being healed from my attachment to things.

My son also has few belongings, and every time I would talk about belongings, he would say, “They are just things. They only have the meaning you give them.” This reminded me of what I already know. We are responsible for attaching meaning to our experiences. My memories live on in my heart, not in the things I own.

Gradually, I came to understand that being able to release all I own is the biggest sign of trust I can offer. I trust that I am already abundant. I trust that I will be provided for. I trust that there is enough for everyone.

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This trust feels so much more expansive than fear and need every did. After all, I have nothing to prove to anyone by the house I live in, the car I drive, or the things I own. I am done living that kind of life that kept me stuck for over half a century. IT FEELS LIKE FREEDOM. So when friends called and invited me to come stay with them in Nicaragua, I started packing after hanging up the phone. This change of culture is exactly what I need and apparently been preparing for!

As I embark on my next adventure with only what can fit in a few suitcases, I marvel at how far I have come. And I am thankful for where I have been.

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My Self-Healing Journey

by Blayze Fraser What does a healed person look like? Are they happy all the time? Are they healthy-looking?

Everyone has their own view of what self-healing looks like on the outside, but what about the inside? This journey is not easy and is not always sunshine and rainbows. It takes hard work, dedication, patience, and self-love, the last two being the hardest for me.

This journey I embarked on years ago hit hard in the last couple of years. I like to look at myself as a go-getter, someone who gives their all and then some. I always valued my work ethic and how I poured my heart and soul into my loved ones and jobs.

In the span of five years, I got married, bought a house, got a dog, graduated college, started my career, had 3 kids, lost my job, started my own business, moved again, and am currently going through a separation.

Life has been a little chaotic, to say the least. But what I’ve learned through all of this is that each major event (and even the little events) has helped me grow.

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Through all my jobs, I realized that my work ethic was undervalued.

This was especially apparent when I started working as a physical therapist assistant.

My workplace was picture-perfect. I had co-workers and a boss who cared, and we functioned as a team. After a few events, the atmosphere and workload changed, and I disagreed with where the transition was heading.

Speaking up resulted in the blame being put on myself and my “mental health state.” I decided to take a week off for self-care.

I met a fantastic reiki master; I cleaned my house, went to a salt cave, and got a massage. Just that little bit was eye-opening. It helped me to see that putting yourself first benefits you and your loved ones.

The time I spent on myself set multiple events in motion to continue this journey. Because of that one week, that one decision to put myself first for some much-needed recuperation, my path was clearer to see.

What event will force you to take that step, or will you be able to make that decision on your own?

“Every action we take, everything we do, is either a victory or defeat in the struggle to become what we want to be” –Anne Byrhhe

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“To be without trees would, in the most literal way, mean to be without our roots.”

-Richard Mabey

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follow the way of trees... trees - “All the way”...

by Rosa Mari Nicolosi Embody A Mandala bodysoulintegration.com

All around the world, individuals are releasing the idea that external power is superior to inner power, making values and needs known unlike ever before.

This way of being originates with our will as we maneuver for a safe place and hide our vulnerability – the truth of our feelings and fears.

As consciousness evolves we’re forced to deeply consider what really matters. My heart desires to contribute to our evolving consciousness.

It took me many years to be real with myself, to listen to what I was feeling beneath the emotions of the ego, and to accept the now with all of its imperfections. I’m still learning.

In that light, I’d like to share the connection with your true essence — your soul — through your body.

My exploration began many years ago while learning the art of oil painting forest scenes.

Integrating the body and soul is key because the body holds memories in its cells.

I love trees. When I placed my hands on trees for the first time, I was surprised to feel a vibration. It was the tree’s “energetic essence.”

We tend to live from old contracts created as children. For example, we “think we “should” be doing this or that to be accepted. The result is “pushing through things” as a way of being with life.

This was also when I was learning about hands-on healing work, tuning into the vibration of people and their bodies.

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I learned that every organ, every tissue, every bone, and every cell, has its own resonant frequency, its own sound. It’s like an orchestra, ideally resulting in a harmonious sound.

Yet, when an organ is out of concert with the rest, the entire body is affected, and the disharmony can lead to imbalance or disease. This vibration, or connection, can be felt over long distances as well, even via telephone lines.

My experience led me to learn how individual cells are connected through vibration, as well as to everyone and everything on the planet.

Since then, I hold a reverence for each and every individual cell in the body. I applied this to aspects of artwork and music – giving the same attention to each brushstroke and each note on the guitar as I played.

As you tune into yourself, in that quiet place of a new moment, while listening deeply, you too can sense your own vibration and hear

your own heart and its wisdom.

You may not feel it so much as a vibration but as an instant knowing that comes from within.

Most of us are not good listeners.

We were taught to listen so we could respond, and often listen with an agenda. But listening fully and deeply — without an agenda, creates space for the Divine creative to enter.

When we pause and truly listen, we become more open to receive, to receive —more prosperity, love, joy, and personal creativity. I find that when I let go of the need to be better or more balanced, I’m being with myself with more honesty.

When we allow ourselves to be present with feelings we’ve avoided or pushed down, our heart opens more easily.

Most of us have made mistakes and experienced tragedies that keep us stuck, but we can forgive ourselves and others when our hearts are more open.

From this place, decisions can be made with clarity.

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Take a look in the mirror, into your own eyes, while just being.

Be present in the light of your authentic energy and experience self-love.

winter trees, as branches sway in the breeze, I notice the stunning shapes between the branches, and the trees seem to dance with each other.

Your true essence. produces a vibrational sound unique to you, which moves through all the cells in the body. It also — joins the life force of every living thing on the earth.

I am inspired by every unique tree and branch, and especially by the connectedness of it all.

From here, there’s more energy to love yourselves and, — others, to understand what truly matters, and to “follow your bliss,” –as.

Joseph Campbell passionately declared.

Sometimes focusing on. ourselves in isolation results in feeling fear, which is really ‘an illusion.’ We’re not separate from one another.

When we allow the connection that is always there – the connection of the heart – we discover we are all. connected – always — to one another and to God. When I open my eyes in the morning and look out at the. bare

It seems. the more I connect honesty to my own uniqueness, true essence, and love for myself, the more compassion and connectedness I experience with everyone and everything around me. From. the wise heart within, there is a gentle power, that is beyond all powers.

Join in the dance… with the trees

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Solving the ADHD Riddle: The Real Cause and Lasting Solutions to Your Child’s Struggle to Learn

by Connie McReynolds Ph.D. About the Author: Connie McReynolds, Ph.D., brings over 30 years of experience in rehabilitation counseling and psychology. As a Licensed Psychologist, her expertise shines through each page, offering readers a blend of professional knowledge and compassionate understanding.

Inside the Book: Solving the ADHD Riddle is not just a book; it's a journey into the intricate world of behavioral and learning challenges. Dr. McReynolds expertly guides readers through: Recognizing Processing Difficulties: Uncover the signs that distinguish processing problems and learn how to identify these in your child.

Misdiagnosis and Its Implications: Explore how mislabeling a child can lead to inappropriate interventions and understand the critical importance of accurate diagnosis.

Behavioral Insights: Delve into why children with processing difficulties exhibit certain behaviors, and what this means for their learning and development.

Practical Solutions and Strategies: Gain valuable insights into supporting children at home and in school settings, with strategies tailored to their unique needs.

Empowering Parents and Educators: Equip yourself with the knowledge and tools necessary to provide the right kind of support and environment for children facing these challenges.

Why This Book Matters: Solving the ADHD Riddle stands out as a crucial resource in a sea of misinformation and confusion about ADHD and related conditions. By reading this book, you will: Gain a deeper understanding of ADHD and processing difficulties.

Learn to navigate the complex landscape of diagnosis and treatment.

Be able to advocate effectively for your child or student.

Discover how to create a nurturing and supportive environment for learning and growth.

A Call to Action: Whether you are a parent grappling with a child's learning and behavioral challenges, an educator seeking to understand your students better, or simply someone interested in the field of child psychology, Solving the ADHD Riddle is an essential addition to your library.

Learn more: conniemcreynolds.com

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26 | spring 2024 Excerpt from “Solving the ADHD Riddle”

by Connie McReynolds Reprinted with permission from Connie McReynolds and Educational Insights Press

CHAPTER 2 UNDERSTANDING THE REAL CAUSE In order for your child to be able to thrive in a learning environment, their brain must be able to pay attention.

In order for them to pay attention, their brain has to be able to process information—to hold on to the information long enough to store it in their memory bank. Effective processing (storing) is necessary for your child to follow through on tasks, do homework, pick up their toys, make the bed, remember to brush their teeth, get ready for school, and remember where they put their backpack or homework.

Processing and paying attention are intertwined, and both are necessary to function and thrive in the world.

When a child can’t process or pay attention, they have difficulties that can lead to problematic behaviors. The inability to effectively process information is why a child can do some tasks, yet fail at others. When brain processing is inconsistent, a child will be inconsistent in their ability to perform.

Attention, Processing, and Memory: The Elements of Learning and Recall Brain processing, memory, learning, and perception are all linked to attention.1 Your child’s brain must be able to hang on to information in order to accurately interpret instructions and complete tasks.

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Solving the ADHD Riddle Chapter 2 Excerpt To better understand the term “processing” as it’s used here, let’s use the analogy of a computer. In order for the computer to do what you want, it has to be able to run programs or “process” your commands. Your child’s brain also has to be able to run the programs (remembering and sequencing tasks) in order to do what’s asked (results). When their brain is unable to remember and sequence what was said (process), the child is unable to consistently follow through.

Children who are unable to pay attention are unable to respond appropriately because paying attention is directly related to how well their brain processes information. In other words, attention is the foundation of how they learn. Without attention, a child is unable to focus consistently and absorb what they’re taught.

As Donald A. Norman described in his book Memory & Attention: “Limited processing . . . invariably implies a competition for attention . . . The term inattention implies that, at a given moment, the thing being attended to is either not what it was intended to be or not what adaptively it ought to be. If a single definition could be derived . . . it would refer . . . to the state of the individual through which learning takes place.

[Attention] makes heavy demands upon the brain’s processing capacity.”2

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Solving the ADHD Riddle Chapter 2 Excerpt The opposite is inattentiveness, which causes people to be distracted, drift off, and miss out on important details. For example, consider driving down the freeway and realizing you have missed your exit. This has happened to most of us at some point and is a great example of a lack of attention when we aren’t present in the moment and become distracted. Imagine this happening throughout your day, which is what inattentiveness is like for children.

It’s important to mention, however, that brain processing problems aren’t the same as cognitive delays, developmental delays, or intellectual limitations. These terms are often confused with symptoms seen in children who have auditory and visual processing problems, especially in school settings. In my opinion, thousands of children may be misidentified as needing special education services, when the cause of their learning problems may actually be due to weaknesses in auditory and visual processing.

Processing problems aren’t about intelligence, but children with processing problems can appear to have developmental or cognitive delays.

Most children with ADHD symptoms are unable to selfregulate, follow through, pay attention, or do what’s asked of them because of weak auditory and visual processing abilities.

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Solving the ADHD Riddle Chapter 2 Excerpt And attention and memory are related to auditory and visual processing. When attention and memory aren’t working, implementing interventions is challenging, as the intervention will require the child to pay attention and remember the instructions in order to follow through. This becomes a no-win situation for children who have attention and memory problems associated with auditory and visual processing.

Auditory and Visual Processing Problems Auditory and visual processing problems aren’t about your child’s physical ability to hear or see. They’re about the brain’s ability to work with verbal and visual information and how it holds on to and manages information.

Simply put, auditory and visual processing problems interfere with a child’s ability to learn, causing memory difficulties, concentration problems, lack of focus, inability to follow instructions, disorganization, anger and frustration, outbursts and temper tantrums, and low self-confidence. Many of these symptoms are associated with ADHD. However, I have found they can also be the direct result of auditory and visual processing problems, which is one of the reasons ADHD medications don’t work for some children. The medications don’t treat the root cause of these problems.

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Solving the ADHD Riddle Chapter 2 Excerpt Many of the identified symptoms of ADD, ADHD, anxiety, depression, learning problems, memory, focus, and attention can be improved by strengthening a child’s auditory and visual processing. When auditory and visual processing problems are identified and resolved, the behavioral, emotional, and learning problems go away or are much less challenging. Brain processes are strengthened, children experience positive life changes, and they may be able to reduce or eliminate the need for some medications.

In particular, auditory and visual processing problems play a direct role in a child’s ability to learn to read.

The data speak volumes. For example, if a child hasn’t learned to read at grade level by the end of third grade, that child is four times less likely to graduate from high school by age 19 than the child who’s reading proficiently at the end of third grade.4,5 And it is significantly higher than rates seen in children with basic reading skills (9 percent) or those who are proficient readers (4 percent).6 This is because, through third grade, which is a pivotal point in education, children are learning to read. From fourth grade on, children are reading to learn. For a child who struggles with reading, learning becomes much more difficult.7 Limited reading ability leads to chronic absences, poor behavior, and failing in math or language arts by the time a child is in sixth grade.8,9

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Solving the ADHD Riddle Chapter 2 Excerpt High school dropouts are at greater risk of becoming involved in the criminal justice system, with nearly one in ten young male high school dropouts ending up in jail or juvenile detention. The cost of just one high school dropout serving time in jail or prison is nearly $300,000.10 Therefore, reading at grade level by the end of third grade is an important milestone, making it all the more important for the early identification of auditory and visual processing problems since that type of processing is critical when learning to read.10 Types of Behaviors: Inconsistency, Inattention, and Escalation Children with auditory and visual processing problems often daydream, appear disorganized, have difficulty following through, seem not to listen, or seem to be somewhere else. These are the children who are forgetful, frequently losing things, are easily distracted, can’t maintain focus, or act out. Parents will ask their child to do something and believe they “have it,” only to be disappointed yet again with a lack of followthrough. Parents have been heard to say, “We just talked about this, and you agreed. What happened?” or may ask, “Why do I always have to remind you to do something?” These are all typical descriptions of children with ADHD.11 But this is the riddle of processing problems—

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Solving the ADHD Riddle Chapter 2 Excerpt sometimes they remember, and sometimes they don’t.

Children with these types of problems are described as smart, yet they’re inconsistent. When this happens repeatedly, everyone begins to feel discouraged and frustrated. Depending on the level of unwanted or troubling behaviors, some parents begin to feel irritated or angry with their child, thinking the behavior is on purpose. Emotions can lead to outbursts, with some parents thinking that doing something— anything—to get their child’s attention will help.

Some parents use punishments, thinking the negative consequences will improve attention and followthrough. However, as many parents and teachers have found, nothing seems to make a difference.

Punishments and restrictions fail because the unwanted behaviors are most likely beyond the child’s control. Ultimately, this is a child who doesn’t understand why they’re getting into trouble. When asked why they did _____ (fill in the blank), they have trouble answering. It’s beyond their awareness because they have no other experience or frame of reference.

In many instances, children with auditory and visual processing problems can accomplish certain activities very well. For example, they may be good at sports and especially good at playing video games.

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Solving the ADHD Riddle Chapter 2 Excerpt These activities don’t require the same type of brain processing skills that schoolwork requires. They may be able to sit for hours playing video games, yet unable to focus for ten minutes to finish a homework assignment. For many parents, this inconsistency is both confusing and frustrating. The confusion is compounded when a child can sometimes accomplish what’s asked of them, but not always. This only makes it appear more so to be willful “bad” behavior.

For example, you may tell or show your child how to do a homework assignment, but they’re unable to complete it even though you explained it. Put yourself in their shoes. If you (as an adult) can’t remember the instructions that someone told you, it will be difficult to complete the task. The struggle is the difference between what you want to do (follow through) and what you’re unable to do (can’t remember the instructions).

This is the discrepancy you’re seeing in your child.

Processing problems can affect many aspects of your child’s ability to change their behaviors. For example, if they’re experiencing auditory processing problems, they might not be able to remember what was said or follow instructions. If they have visual processing problems, they might not be able to organize their backpack or remember where they put something.

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Solving the ADHD Riddle Chapter 2 Excerpt When they don’t remember, adults often assume they’re distracted, forgetful, inattentive, disorganized, or have poor memory. All of these are technically true.

But children with these processing problems aren’t choosing to be disorganized or forgetful. In other words, your child isn’t deliberately trying to upset you, disobey you, or do bad things. If auditory and visual processing problems are present, they simply may not be able to pay attention (attend and remember) long enough to follow through or change their behavior.

Children with auditory and visual processing problems don’t understand why they struggle and can’t do the same school assignments as their peers. At the same time, teachers and parents are at a loss. After all, if you’re unaware of processing problems, how can you explain why you didn’t finish a task, assignment, or project? This is where the majority of problems occur for children who have attention problems, and this is the difference we will continue to explore throughout the book.

Learn more: conniemcreynolds.com

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8 Strategies for Parenting children with Adhd 1. Communicate clearly and simply.

2. Create a sleep routine and follow it.

3. Create a structure for each day and stick to it.

4. Help your child eat healthy foods.

5. Help your child make friends.

6. Share your expectations with your child.

7. Take care of yourself.

8. Use rewards and consequences effectively.

8 tips for using rewards and consequences to facilitate healthY behavior 1. Activities, praise, and privileges are great rewards.

2. Always follow through on what you say.

3. Change rewards often so children are not bored.

4. Communicate consequences in advance.

5. Make consequences as immediate as possible.

6. Offer reward immediately.

7. Role-play desired behavior with your child.

8. Use a chart to track rewards.

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Co-Creating Thriving Workplaces Signs of an unhealthy workplace that you might be ignoring : Cliques Discrimination Disengagement Distrust Favoritism Gossip High turnover Intolerance No support Physical Symptoms Unrealistic expectations Unsafe work conditions Work/life imbalance

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How to cope with a toxic work environment: Address conflict Become aware of your choices.

Reflect on where your power is in this situation.

Confide in someone you trust.

Create an exit strategy.

Focus on your breath for 1-3 minutes. Take slow, deep breaths in and out.

Ground your energy with a short, brisk walk or by being in nature.

Implement exit strategy.

Journal about your feelings to release the energy of the experience.

Listen to your intuition.

Move your body with some light stretches or yoga poses.

Reflect on how you would respond to a loved one in the same situation. Respond to yourself in this way.

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ANIMAL RESCUE AND STERILIZATION Stray animals multiply when they have not been sterilized. We can eliminate stray animals by preventing their multiplication.

Stray animals are at risk for so many things. They are also left to sustain themselves on garbage. Many are hit by cars and left untreated. Others suffer from rabies or other preventable illnesses.

While we may not be in a position to take home every stray animal we see, we can unite together to care for them. Consider getting together with family, friends or co-workers to sponsor the care and treatment of one or more stray animal.

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Do you like to see pictures of animals? I will post pictures of the many sweet animals in Nicaragua.

Many are strays and have been rescued. I will be raising money for their care and sponsorship.

Small amounts of money go a long way in Nicaragua!

MOM XOX is a 501(c)(3) and will accept donations for animal rescue and sterilization. It is an excellent opportunity for us to work together on behalf of these animals.

If you would like more information on how to participate, email momxox@gmail.com.

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Dr. Connie McReynolds With over three decades of experience, Dr. Connie McReynolds is a distinguished psychologist and certified rehabilitation counselor dedicated to supporting individuals navigating ADHD, anxiety, trauma, and other psychological challenges. Her practice is rooted in the belief that everyone possesses unique strengths capable of overcoming life's hurdles. By fostering psychological awareness and resilience, Dr. McReynolds guides her clients toward lasting change and a fulfilling life.

Dr. McReynolds' methodology is anything but one-size-fits-all. Recognizing the individuality of each client, she employs a diverse array of strategies designed to address the specific needs of those aged 15 and above.

Whether you're dealing with anxiety, depression, mood disorders, or stress, her holistic approach aims not only to alleviate symptoms but to address their root causes. Through a combination of neurofeedback, cognitive-behavioral strategies, and mindfulness, she helps clients rewrite limiting belief structures and break free from detrimental patterns.

LEARN MORE: conniemcreynolds.com

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kate anthony Kate Anthony is a graduate of Albany Law School. She plans to use her education to advocate for the rights of animals, among other things!

In addition to advocating for animals, Kate helped Lori to get 501(c)(3) status for MOM XOX. Together they will be working to bring educational and self development programs to schools, as well as workplaces.

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Rosa Mari Nicolosi, RN, CMBP Integrative Acupressure uses the Eastern approach of addressing points and meridians combined with working in the body's tissue. It differs from other forms of acupressure in that integrative acupressure tunes into the cellular vibration of all tissues, such as muscles, fascia, lymph, and bone, responding to the unique energy vibration of every area throughout the body. That inner listening through my hands connects the body with the Soul, your true essence.

Body-Soul Integration has helped hundreds of people connect their body’s deep intelligence to their soul through their hearts.

Rosa has more than 40 years of experience in the health field, including diverse experience as a Registered Nurse, work and advanced studies as a mental health counselor, many years as a Nurse Practitioner, and Adolescent Specialist and Wellness Counseling.

Rosa combines the use of other healing modalities as well, including Body-Mind Centering, craniosacral balancing, Lymph clearing, and Visceral Manipulation. Using these modalities has enhanced my presence with the “whole person.”

Embody A Mandala BodySoulIntegration.com

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Blayze Fraser AAS, NASM CPT, EBFA BTS level I Blayze’s interest in health and wellness started when she was young and has bloomed there.

She graduated from Craven Community College in the Physical Therapist Assistant program and obtained an Associate in Applied Science.

She continued to pursue her interest in whole body wellness by obtaining her certification as a Barefoot Training Specialist level I. Shortly after, she obtained her Personal Training certification through NASM and opened Habitual Health, LLC as a mobile in-home training business. Her current health and wellness interests include rehabilitative Tai Chi and corrective exercise.

She intends to expand her business soon to a diverse wellness clinic catering to individualized healing and education on preventing injuries and illness.

Learn more: https://www.habitualhealthllc.com/

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Self-healing directory of Services Dr. Connie McReynolds Supports individuals with ADHD, anxiety, trauma, and other psychological challenges.

Offerings include: Neurofeedback Individual Therapy Telemental Health conniemcreynolds.com

Keara Kisses Lori Cristine Explore life lessons, obstacles and purpose. Create a plan to close the gap between where you are where you want to be. Learn skills to align with your best self, overcome obstacles, and thrive.

kearakisses.com

Habitual Health LLC In-person and online fitness Training, mobility, and education tools are designed to be tailored to your individual wellness needs.

Body Soul Integration with Rosa Nicolosi Learn more about Rosa and her services, including how to embody a mandala.

habitualhealthllc.com

BodySoulIntegration.com

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“It is the heart that makes a man rich. He is rich according to what he is, not according to what he has.”

-Henry David Beecher, 1813

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