Celebrations 2022 (Jewish Rhode Island) by Jewish Rhode Island

Celebrations 2022 Jewish Rhode Island’s guide to all of your special events.

Jewish Rhode Island | Celebrations 2022

The Voice of Greater Rhode Island’s Jewish Community

JEWISH RHODE ISLAND

401 Elmgrove Avenue | Providence, RI 02906 401.421.4111, Ext. 168 jewishrhody.org | editor@jewishallianceri.org Advertising: Peter Zeldin 401.421.4111, Ext. 160 | pzeldin@jewishallianceri.org

JEWISH RHODE ISLAND (ISSN #1539-2104, USPS #465-710) is published monthly and twice in May, August and September. PERIODICALS postage paid at Providence, RI POSTMASTER address changes to: Jewish Rhode Island 401 Elmgrove Ave. Providence, RI 02906

VOLUME XXIX ISSUE VI DESIGN & LAYOUT Alex Foster afoster@jewishallianceri.org GUIDE EDITORIAL Fran Ostendorf Seth Chitwood

COVER PHOTO Glenn Osmundson ADVERTISING Peter Zeldin, Director pzeldin@jewishallianceri.org 401.421.4111 ext. 160

GUIDE PRINTING TCI Press Seekonk, Massachusetts

Jewish Rhode Island | Celebrations 2022

Welcome to the 2022

Celebrations Guide Jewish Rhode Island’s guide to all of your special events.

n 2020, we published our first Celebrations Guide. What a great idea, we thought! This guide was meant to offer readers and advertisers an opportunity to share their simchot, large and small. Everyone loves a good party and we had hoped to help the greater Rhode Island Jewish community with tips, stories and advertisers to make it all happen. But the COVID-19 pandemic got in our way and shut us down. Celebrations took on a whole new look and feel during the pandemic. Very small groups became the new celebration. And only family members were included. In 2021, we decided that publishing this guide wasn’t a sound financial decision. People were still celebrating. But they were still doing it in scaleddown ways and advertisers weren’t looking for exposure.

Although COVID-19 is still around, we have opened back up thanks to vaccines, boosters and careful planning. Long-delayed celebrations are back. Planners, photographers, caterers and other party vendors are busier than ever. And everyone has learned a few things. Read about all this in our 2022 Celebrations Guide. And, once again, our faithful advertisers are supporting our efforts at bringing you a useful publication still in its infancy. Please remember to support them. For everyone celebrating a wedding, Bar or Bat Mitzvah, anniversary or any other simcha, we wish you a mazel tov! And please share photos with us. We may even print them in Jewish Rhode Island and next year’s guide! FRAN OSTENDORF Editor

CELEBRATE

with style

FOR THE MOMENT OF A LIFETIME, CHOOSE A SETTING YOU WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER. The Dwares JCC provides a beautifully appointed special events space and an intuitive design team ready to customize the setting to create just the moment you envision. • Accommodating up to 250 people • Kosher catering available • Additional event spaces available

FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT JANA BRENMAN AT

401.421.4111 ext. 181 | jbrenman@jewishallianceRI.org 401 Elmgrove Avenue, Providence RI 02906

Party trends in 2022 BY SETH CHITWOOD From tech innovations to “FABS” posted on social media by celebrities to pictures on Pinterest, people are always looking for ways to make a party fresh and fun. If you’re planning an event, here are some of the top trends to consider:

Digital invitations. As much as people

like to have a “save the date” card or printed invitation to hang on their fridge, 2022 is all about being eco-friendly. Paper is out, online invites are in. Hosts believe that online invites are more socially acceptable now. They also engage guests by connecting them to a web page for more information and to communicate with the hosts about an immediate RSVP, a meal choice, lodging questions and so on. Hosts can also use the web page to receive e-mails and share last-minute updates.

Candle-lighting ceremonies are out. According to Bonnie Gold, of Gold Event 6

Planner, in Pawtucket, most Bar and Bat Mitzvah parties she’s observed have dispensed with the candle-lighting ritual of inviting people up to light one of 14 candles. “I think they figured it takes time away,” Gold said. “And [they] might leave people out that they would feel badly about after.”

Hanging floral installations are in. Wedding planner Sherry Klein, of Providence, said flowers aren’t just for tables anymore – increasingly, she is seeing them hung above the guests as well.

“It’s … like a beautiful gathering of greens with accents of flowers that come down over the long tables,” she said.

Throwing candy is out. Many congre-

gations are banning the tradition of throwing candy at the Bar/Bat Mitzvah after the completion of the haftarah reading. The idea was to wish the teen a “sweet” life as he or she makes the transition to adulthood. But “kids were getting too rough with it,” Gold said, even leading to injuries.

Gender neutral. With the ongoing con-

versation on gender identity, younger couples are no longer singling out women as bridesmaids and men as groomsmen. Now, they are just “people,” and are welcome to join either party. Klein also said that when it comes to the boutonnieres, she suggests the men wear flowers that match the women’s bouquets.

Balloon decor gets creative. It’s not

just about clumps of balloons here and there anymore, it’s about using them as structures or to spell out the initials of the bride and groom or the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. People are also getting creative with the placement. For example, rainbow balloon arches over the entryway have become popular. “The balloon decor has become more of like an organic feel, not just staged in a column,” Gold said.

More mindful of the environment.

guests and then creates a book with a photo of each guest and space for them to write next to their picture.

Coffee table sign-in books are in. Klein said the white-page sign-in book is also out at most weddings she’s planned. Instead, she tells couples to choose a book that they would want on their coffee table – maybe one that shows lighthouses, or images of Rhode Island. Guests enjoy finding a page they want to sign, she said, and the newlyweds have a treasured keepsake that they can display on a coffee table or bookshelf. SETH CHITWOOD (www.sethchitwood.com), of

Barrington, is a features reporter for The Standard-Times, in New Bedford. He is also the creative director of the award-winning Angelwood Pictures production company.

People are paying extra for bamboo utensils and biodegradable cups. Especially at outdoor weddings, couples are trying to avoid plastic.

Signature drinks. Most wed-

dings have a signature drink, but now it seems that Bar/Bat Mitzvah parties are following suit, with a signature mocktail. Frequently, the event features a cute drink that might be named for a pet or something about the couple or teen. They then include a little poster with ingredients.

Mocktails. Speaking of drinks,

more and more hosts are making sure non-drinkers don’t feel left out. Mocktails are now being offered as part of the drink menu, and there’s even services that will create an interesting one for your event.

Sign-in boards are out.

Gold said that she hardly sees these photo-laden posterboards at parties anymore. “They just collect dust in the house” after the event, she said. These days, Gold said she more commonly sees a photo book: A photo booth at the event takes pictures of the Jewish Rhode Island | Celebrations 2022

9 tips for planning the big event Events are back! Planners across the nation are as busy as bumblebees in spring. Their top event-planning tip? Book now, at least a year in advance. It’s going to be very competitive for the next year or so. “Of the people I speak to right now that are doing events, they are slammed,” said Bonnie Gold, of Gold Event Planner, in Pawtucket. With over 20 years of event-planning experience, the company has earned a reputation as experienced and creative event planners in Rhode Island and Massachusetts, especially for Bar and Bat Mitzvahs.

being a wedding planner,” she said. Here are the top nine tips that Gold and Klein suggest people consider when planning an event:

Pick the right event planner.

“It’s all about chemistry,” said Klein. When deciding on a planner to collaborate with on your event, it’s important that they match your wants and needs. For example, if you want someone who will hold your hand during the entire process, make sure you’re on the same page from day one.

Gold, who is already booked into the summer of 2023, said meeting the increased demand is bumping up against staffing shortages at most venues. “A venue that could maybe [have] four events at a time … might not be able to do all of the events they used to be able to do on one night because of that,” she said. Event planner Sherri Klein agrees that the next year will be a busy time for events. “It seems more and more people want to get married now,” she said. “It’s been so busy for me, from planning 180-person weddings to 30 people.” Klein, of Providence, who worked for 20 years at Stone Blossom Florals, in Warren, was running an office for a DJ band when she was asked to plan a wedding. Now, she’s been in the wedding-planning business for six years. “I have all these different hospitality behindthe-scenes knowledge that really helps me with

“I’m one of those people that like to get an answer right away from people. So, I, in return, do that for my clients,” Klein said. “In my contract, it actually says unlimited texts, emails and phone calls.” Gold said she offers different tiers of service, from being with the client every step of the way, such as meeting with vendors or bringing them to tastings, to a tier where she checks in with her clients from time to time. “I think somebody should return your call,” Gold said. “Even if it’s just to say, sorry, I couldn’t answer your call in a text message, I’ll get back to you.” If an event planner doesn’t respond to your message or call within 24 hours, you might want to reconsider.

Lock in the venue, caterer, entertainment and photographer ASAP.

It’s no secret that the event industry is extremely busy. Gold and Klein both suggest booking the

venue and vendors such as caterers, entertainers, photographers and florists at least a year in advance. “If you get everybody secured, there’s a lot of things you don’t have to do until you get closer to the date,” Gold said. “Once the big ones are locked, it’s less stress.”

Ask friends for recommendations.

Gold said talking to other people about the vendors they previously used is the best way to find the services you’ll need. “The best recommendations, I always find, are word of mouth,” she said.

Stay firm on your budget.

Gold will be the first to tell you that no matter what happens, it’s going to be a wonderful event and the guests will remember the entire affair … not that you could’ve used a few more balloons. Klein said a wedding planner should also help you stay on budget, and you shouldn’t be embarrassed to tell vendors your financial limits. For example, Gold had a client who wanted games and other activities for kids, in addition to the DJ and other planned entertainment. “When they saw that it was going to cost a lot [to add] something else, I said they can cut the games because the DJ really does do a lot of things with the kids anyway,” Gold said.

Choosing an experienced Jewish wedding planner makes a difference. When planning a Jewish wedding, having a planner who knows about Jewish traditions and protocols can be a big help. For example, Klein said she knows that for a Jewish ceremony, the bride’s family stands and sits on the right side of the huppah. And the groom’s family is on the left side. “But a lot of people, including Jewish people, don’t know that,” she said. Klein also said that people don’t realize a huppah has four posts, and it should be large enough to accommodate the bridal couple, their parents and the rabbi. Jewish Rhode Island | Celebrations 2022

When there is so much going on, it’s great to have someone else to deal with these details, Klein said.

The Kiddush cup should hold white wine.

“Something very important is not to use red wine, it should be white wine,” Klein said. “So just in case somebody spills anything, it doesn’t get on the bride’s white gown.”

Plan in advance who will lift the chair.

Preselect a sturdy chair and the people to lift it. Gold said she has seen disasters from using folding chairs or assigning the wrong people to basically be holding a life in their hands. No one wants to end up in the emergency room because of a hora-related injury.

Consider hiring a shuttle service.

Klein strongly suggests hiring a shuttle service so people aren’t tempted to drive after drinking. She also suggests providing guests with a candy table or a snack, such as a monogrammed cookie. “People like that to take because sometimes they eat that on the shuttle bus on the way back to the hotel,” she said.

The bride and groom should use the yichud room to eat.

The yichud is a private room for the couple. In the olden days, this was where the marriage would be consummated. Today, Klein said her best advice is for the bride and groom to use the room to eat or drink a little something before returning to the festivities – it might be their only chance. “I have the caterer put in their signature drink, definitely water, maybe Champagne, and some appetizers,” she said. “They can have their own five to 10 minutes of their private moment before they go hang out with all the rest.” SETH CHITWOOD (www.sethchitwood.com), of

Barrington, is a features reporter for The Standard-Times, in New Bedford. He is also the creative director of the award-winning Angelwood Pictures production company.

Nadia Sorvillo

Technology can enhance your event BY SETH CHITWOOD Virtual, hybrid and in-person events are all options in today’s world. “Virtual started in the corporate world pre-pandemic. But it has become something that is becoming a trend throughout. I’ve seen and experienced this myself firsthand,” said Nadia Sorvillo, owner of Imperfectly Perfect Weddings & Events, in Dartmouth, Massachusetts. After two decades in the marketing and sales industry, Sorvillo launched her event-planning business during the COVID-19 pandemic. She has seen it get very busy in the past few months, as virus worries have dimmed. But the virus is still out there, and some people prefer a virtual or hybrid affair as a precaution, while others are looking at virtual or hybrid events to cut costs or include people who might not be able to attend in person. “People want the in-person, they miss that connection, yet, from a strategy and also budget perspective … [virtual is] actually more cost effective,” Sorvillo said. 10

She said using Zoom or another online service is the best choice for couples that want a destination wedding but can’t bring everyone. And since some would-be guests are still too nervous to travel, having livestreaming videographers at weddings and other events has become popular. “The platforms tend to be a little bit more elaborate. People want more, because they want that kind of live experience, even if it means that they’re not physically there,” Sorvillo said. Virtual events also can open the door to including people from all over the world; a live translation tool is even available. People are also creating personalized apps to entertain and engage their guests. “Everyone has their iPhone, the iPad, or whatever. So, it is the trend going forward,” Sorvillo said. She said apps makes it easier to share information, such as changes to the schedule, as well as fun stuff. QR codes are also being used, to help guests interact with one another. Guests can scan the

code with their phones and instantly be added to a private space to chat or share photos.

is connected to this particular event,” she said.

There are also new photo experiences popping up at events, including 360-photo booths that not only show off the guests, but their surroundings.

“Since COVID-19, events have reached an entirely new level. It’s a different world,” Sorvillo said.

Meanwhile, hashtags on social media have become a major trend and event must, according to Sorvillo.

Barrington, is a features reporter for The Standard-Times, in New Bedford. He is also the creative director of the award-winning Angelwood Pictures production company.

Sorvillo’s advice is to keep hashtags short and Sorvillo said she uses the Trello app to keep in easy, such as #ThisIsUs, #CrazyAboutCrawford, touch with her clients and share updates. It’s #CheersToZuckers or #JaneandJohnUnited. also a one-touch place to help organize infor“I just say to make it simmation about the ple, something that people venue and caterer, remember. Something ‘People want to know what’s make payments, that you can then use as a going on and what is connected share designs or theme across the aspects decorations, and of your event,” she said. to this particular event.’ more. Sorvillo is currently planAt today’s events, ning a wedding using the disposable cameras have given way to photo hashtag “The Hunt Is Over,” because the groom booths that send photos directly to your phone. likes to fish and hunt. The couple are using that “Guests can share them instantly,” Sorvillo said. as the main theme for their event.

“People want to know what’s going on and what

Jewish Rhode Island | Celebrations 2022

SETH CHITWOOD (www.sethchitwood.com), of

A destination b’nai mitzvah industry takes shape on Maui BY ALIX WALL (JTA) – Feeling the sand between her toes was Teva Goldstein’s favorite part of her December 2021 Bat Mitzvah on the island of Maui. She and her family all wore white, accessorized with purple leis.

carving out a niche serving mainlanders who choose Hawaii for destination Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. So far, she’s officiated at four b’nai mitzvah, including Teva Goldstein’s. If Beit Shalom gets a call from someone considering traveling to Maui for a lifecycle event, the synagogue sends the caller Razieli’s way.

The beach in Hawaii was nearly 4,000 miles from her home in Dallas, another thousand miles Razieli said the decision to lead beachfront b’nai from where she had lived for most of her life in mitzvahs wasn’t totally natural, given her longMaryland. Yet her family time experience working with had chosen it to mark her through a synagogue Bat Mitzvah, the moment ‘In some ways it’s much families back in California, Kehilla Comwhen she would symbolmore spiritual than munity Synagogue in Piedmont. ically assume adulthood among the Jewish people. “At first, it was challenging for being in a space with me to think of officiating b’nai The path to the beach fluorescent lights.’ mitzvah away from community, was long and winding due since the whole point of it is to to the COVID-19 pansay ‘I’m stepping into my community,” she said. demic, pitted with setbacks and anxiety. But it “But some don’t have that community at home. had brought Teva and her family in touch with I want to provide an experience where they feel a woman who is turning Hawaii into a Bar and honored and welcome.” Bat Mitzvah destination. Finding Sandra Razieli helped them finalize plans that had been thrown into turmoil twice by the pandemic. Razieli moved to Maui in 2017, thinking that her skills as a yoga teacher would be how she made her living. She assumed that the b’nai mitzvah tutoring she’d done for two decades for families in the San Francisco Bay Area would be of little use on the island, where one unaffiliated synagogue and one Chabad serve the small number of local Jews. “I didn’t know I was going to continue doing Jewish stuff when I got here,” Razieli told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency. She was wrong. Not only did Razieli start picking up work through Beit Shalom: The Jewish Congregation of Maui, which recently launched a b’nai mitzvah program, but she also has begun

Razieli was recently ordained by the Jewish Spiritual Leaders Institute, a short-term online program that confers the title “rabbi” on its graduates. Many do not consider rabbinical ordination from the program legitimate. Razieli, who led countless Jewish rituals in the Bay Area without ordination, said families coming to her just want a knowledgeable ritual leader. Razieli meets with families virtually, then makes custom prayer books for each event, asking families for their preferred language for God, for example. Then, she borrows the Torah from Beit Shalom for the beachfront ceremonies. She recommends the 5 Palms restaurant as an obvious location: Already a popular wedding venue, its owner Simon Vodjani, is active in Maui’s Jewish community (he has hosted Yom Kippur services there

for Chabad before, as well). Razieli said the sight of a Torah on the beach can definitely attract attention. “People are sunbathing and will see the Torah here,” she said – and while that might seem discordant for some, she said, with such a stunning backdrop, it’s hard not to be in awe. “In some ways, it’s much more spiritual than being in a space with fluorescent lights,” she said. That was the case for Teva Goldstein’s family, who ended up on Maui after canceling multiple other plans. First, a destination Bat Mitzvah in Prague was canceled because of the pandemic’s beginning; a rescheduled ceremony in Israel, where her older brother celebrated his Bar Mitzvah, was scrambled because of the omicron variant. During the first year of the pandemic, Teva and her family made the local news for making and posting inspirational signs around their Dallas neighborhood, like “We are in this together.”

ment – perhaps preordained by her name, which means “nature” in Hebrew. “I just wanted to do something out of the country, and since that wasn’t possible, it felt like Hawaii was the closest to out of the country I was going to get,” she said. Abby Goldstein booked tickets to Oahu. But after Teva found Razieli online, the family revised their plans one more time, making Maui their destination. With very little time to prepare, Goldstein was not interested in learning yet a third Torah portion, so she recited the blessings over the Torah rather than read from it. She and Razieli met a few times over Zoom before the trip to prepare.

‘With such beauty, we were seeing God all around us.’

But two years after she was first supposed to signal her entrance to Jewish adulthood with a Bat Mitzvah, Goldberg, now 15, was beginning to feel her resolve weaken. “After learning two different Torah portions, and with everything still virtual, she didn’t even want to have one,” said Teva’s mother, Abby Goldstein. “That she didn’t feel much connection to it made us sad, so we decided it’s going to be low-key and easy for her.”

“It was a really good experience. I liked how Sandra customized the service for me,” Teva said.

And the environment – far from what the family had originally anticipated – proved to be an essential element of the religious experience, Abby Goldstein said. “With such beauty, we were seeing God all around us,” she said. “At the same time, I felt such gratitude that even amidst the turmoil of the past two years, that we saw our daughter do this and make this connection with God. It was very meaningful for me to know that we didn’t give up, amongst everything, and I think it was for her as well.”

But Teva came up with one last idea, one that connected with her passion for the environ-

Temple Torat Yisrael · The Perfect Venue for any Function · Seating for over 300 on 10 acres of ·

wooded splendor Kosher Kitchen

1251 Middle Road, East Greenwich | 401-885-6600 | TempleToratYisrael.org Jewish Rhode Island | Celebrations 2022

Photo: Samantha M. Photography

Wedding tips from newlyweds Sally Ostendorf and Pat Ferrell were married at Newport Vineyards in August 2021, Here are their top tips for planning, the wedding day, and the days to follow.

9 tips for the bride BY SALLY OSTENDORF FERRELL

Keep in mind that this is your wedding

It’s not your parents’ wedding, not your aunt’s, not your friend’s. Make decisions with you and your partner in mind, and try not to let unsolicited opinions sway you. That goes for ceremony traditions, the guest count, the seating arrangements and everything in between. Instead of worrying about what others will think, focus on what will make the day most meaningful for you and your partner.

Create a wedding-specific email address that both you and your partner can access

I know, I know – I thought this wasn’t necessary at first, too. However, the number of emails my partner and I had to forward back and forth to keep each other in the loop as we handled different vendors was astronomical. Not to mention RSVPs that came in to one of our email accounts and not the other. Create a single wedding email address and save yourself a headache!

Hire a wedding coordinator

Do you want to get a phone call on your wedding day about how the flowers are blowing off your huppah? Or have to field questions from the band about sound hookups? Nope – you want to relax and enjoy your day and leave all the stress and worries to someone else. A wedding coordinator doesn’t have to be extremely pricey. Many coordinators offer flexible services that can start a month, or a week, before your wedding, or even just cover the wedding day.

Prioritize costs from the start

Weddings are expensive, and getting more so by the day. Decide what’s most important to you and your partner from the start. That way, both of you will be on the same page when you begin shopping around for quotes. My husband-to-be and I knew that the venue and photographer were most important to us. What’s the first thing we did after securing our venue and date? We hired a photographer who we absolutely loved.

We chose to spend our money on that, and saved money elsewhere, like hiring a DJ instead of a band. By having these discussions early, we avoided conflict and stress later in the process.

Take a moment to breathe after the ceremony

Yichud, or seclusion, is actually part of traditional Jewish weddings. Ask your wedding coordinator, or someone else you trust, to whisk you and your new spouse to a quiet area, where you can just be together and reflect for a few minutes. You can even have some snacks brought to the yichud room. Give yourself the gift of sharing a quiet moment before rejoining the fun with your guests.

Remember to eat

So many people warned us about this, and I’m glad we listened. Your wedding day is a whirlwind and it’s easy to forget to eat. Have someone close to you act as a “bouncer,” deflecting guests from coming to chat while you’re trying

Experience…Trusted…Fun!!!

Weddings, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs LukesENT.com Luke@LukesENT.com TEXT: 401-323-1997

DJ SERVICE

•

Jewish Rhode Island | Celebrations 2022

PHOTO BOOTH

•

• OFFICE: 401-816-5496

LIGHTING 15

to eat your dinner. A meal will boost your energy, soak up the alcohol, and give you a chance to sit down. Plus, you paid for the food, so you might as well enjoy it!

Create a shared photo album

This brought us so much joy in the days after the wedding. Yes, you’ll get the professional photos, but these are the goofy photos taken by friends and family. You can use Apple Photos, Google Photos, or another platform. Send the link to your wedding guests and ask them to upload their photos. That way, everyone can enjoy the memories!

Stay an extra night after the wedding, if possible

If your reception is at a hotel, stay an extra night so you can savor quiet time together once all the guests have gone home. Put off for a day packing up your car or luggage with all the wedding stuff you’ve amassed. We absolutely loved staying in our wedding-weekend bubble an extra day.

Don’t dillydally on the thank-you notes

Your bubbe is waiting, so take a weekend and just do it. We opened a bottle of wine from our wedding and made it a fun rainy-day activity. You will get a lot of amazing and thoughtful wedding gifts from your guests – this is the time to tell them what those physical gifts, the money, the donations in your honor mean to you. Everyone we spoke to appreciated the timely handwritten thank-you notes.

9 tips for the groom BY PAT FERRELL

Accept help, reject demands

You will definitely need help to pull off the wedding of your dreams, and your loving friends and family are the best resource for this. Keep in mind, however, as my lovely bride stated above, that this is your wedding and you shouldn’t feel pressured to accept help in exchange for demands or requests that do not fit into your plans.

Show your gratitude

Make sure you take time to individually thank those who put their valuable time, energy and even money into making your special day everything you desired. Thank-you notes are great for gifts, but do something extra for those who went the extra mile for you.

Small, unique details are appreciated

Assuming you can get to a point before the wedding where adding small perks is feasible and within your budget, items like a unique wedding favor (we gave out tiny air plants), a late-night snack to soak up the alcohol (we had

big soft pretzels), or a lawn game or two can go a long way toward making your wedding fun and memorable for both you and your guests. These additions are usually fairly inexpensive – and they were what our guests talked about most afterward.

Start planning early

Maybe this should be No. 1 on both lists. Think long and hard about what you want out of your rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception and any other associated events. No matter the size of your wedding, there will be a lot of decisions to make and logistics to consider. The best vendors get booked up early – and their pricing and input may require adjusting some of your ideas. It’s better to know this sooner rather than later.

Communicate with your partner

OK, maybe this should be No. 1. No two people are identical and no two people want the exact same thing out of their wedding. Be honest with your partner from the beginning about what your priorities are, and encourage the same from them. Wedding planning can be stressful, so remember to stay calm and be civil to each other.

Keep your wedding website user-friendly and up to date

A wedding website is an amazing reference tool for your guests and they will definitely rely on it for planning. Try to keep the most important information (venue, date/time, dress code, etc.) either on the main page or a single click away, so it can be referenced quickly. And if anything changes, make sure the website is updated!

Invite your oldest friends

Do you have an extra two spots at a table? Or have a childhood friend you haven’t seen in years but would love to catch up with? Invite them! Most people enjoy going to weddings, and they can be a great way to rekindle old friendships.

REFLECTIONS ON MULTIFAITH RELATIONSHIPS

A NEW PODC AS T SERIES FROM

Look your best

Get a tailored suit, new shoes and a good haircut/beard trim (I had my barber do a practice run about a month before). There will be more photos than you can imagine, and a lot of people will look at them for a long time. You’ll never outshine your bride, but make sure you’re shining beside her.

JEWISH RHODY MEDIA COMING SOON

Remember why you are having a wedding in the first place

It’s because you met someone who you love more than anything and who you want to spend the rest of your life with. The wedding is just a kick-off party to a lifetime with your partner. SALLY AND PATRICK FERRELL live in Salem,

Massachusetts.

Jewish Rhode Island | Celebrations 2022

Picking a mitzvah project: 3 rabbis share their 2 cents BY SETH CHITWOOD Mitzvah projects are a meaningful way to engage B’nai Mitzvah students with the important values of Judaism as they transition into adulthood. But sometimes deciding on a mitzvah project can be challenging. “I think the reason for the mitzvah project is that the person should have a meaningful Bar Mitzvah,” said Rabbi Yossi Laufer, director of Chabad of West Bay, in Warwick. “It shouldn’t just be the gift, the DJ for dancing at the party, it should infuse meaning into the experience.” Laufer said “mitzvah” is usually translated as “good deed,” but in Aramaic, it means “connections.” “Every time we do a mitzvah, we create a strengthening, or a connection, with God,” he said.

At Temple Sinai, in Cranston, Rabbi Jeff Goldwasser refers to mitzvah projects as tzedakah projects. “I don’t set any minimum standards,” he said. “I want them to use it as an opportunity to inspire others about what they’re going to do.”

‘Bar and Bat Mitzvah projects are an important part of the experience.’

Laufer said the basic Jewish understanding of a human being is that we are a merger of body and spirit. In other words, when God created the world, he created angels and animals, but he also made another kind of creation, which was a merger of an angel and an animal. “We are really two entities in one. We have the spiritual entity, angel type, which we call soul,” Laufer said. “Now we have the body parts … similar to the body of an animal. We call it the animalistic components of us.” According to Laufer, the goal of mitzvah proj18

ects is to be an angel and, using your animal components, to make the world a better place. Once students understand these elements, their projects can be seen and experienced on a very different level, he said.

He said many of his students are very attached to Rhode Island’s beaches and work with Save the Bay to do cleanups and learn more about how to help the ocean ecosystem and decrease biowaste in the community.

One student did a project asking for donations to send sports equipment to places overseas where children might not have access to things such as soccer balls. A few years ago, a student purchased flip-flops for a community in Jamaica that did not have access to kids’ footwear, while another student worked closely with an animal rescue and adoption program. Goldwasser recalled that his daughter, Talia, now 23, did a project in which she read books to kids at an afterschool program for low-income children and worked to have her school donate picture books to the program.

“Bar and Bat Mitzvah projects are an important part of the experience,” added Rabbi Marc Mandel, of Newport’s historic Touro Synagogue.

while another student led the Hebrew School pupils in decorating an area in Newport, adding cheer and joy to the location.

Alongside two other Jewish organizations on Aquidneck Island – Temple Shalom and the Newport Havurah – Touro students collaborated with the Jewish Alliance of Greater Rhode Island to distribute gift cards and creatively-designed messages to thank nurses for their hard work during the pandemic.

“After her project, the difference in that location was like night and day,” Mandel said.

The students also reached out to Conexion Latina Newport to coordinate a program to sort and organize thousands of their books so they could be made available to community members.

SETH CHITWOOD (www.sethchitwood.com), of

Mandel hopes their work inspires other students to create mitzvah projects just as powerful for the community.

“It is important for the Bar and Bat Mitzvah candidates to choose a project that they find meaningful and interesting. This will ensure its success,” he said.

Barrington, is a features reporter for The Standard-Times, in New Bedford. He is also the creative director of the award-winning Angelwood Pictures production company.

Recently, one of the Bar Mitzvah students decorated a home for a person who could not do so,

Celebrations from the archives Photos from Rhode Island Jewish Historical Association

Old Oreal Club from North End, Reunion in around 1950. Club started in the 1930s.

Jewish Rhode Island | Celebrations 2022

RI Jewish Bowling Congress Awards Ceremony. The date and location are unknown. If anyone can identify the date and location, please contact editor@ jewishallianceri.org or info@rijha.org.

Love in the Time of COVID (2022 Update) Two years ago, Tina and Adam wrote about planning a wedding during the pandemic. At the time, they had postponed their wedding date to June 2021. Here is an update to their love story. Tina and I (Adam) started our romance in the spring of 2013. After three years of sharing my favorite Boston locations with her, she (much to my chagrin) matched into an internal medicine residency program in Los Angeles. Despite my hesitancy about the perpetually sunny weather, I really had no choice but to follow her to what she calls “the best coast.” Shortly after moving to California, while zip-lining in New Zealand, I proposed to Tina in February of 2019. Getting engaged under these circumstances fit our relationship perfectly as traveling and going on adventures together had always been something that defined our relationship.

directly impacted. For fear of putting our loved ones at risk, we ultimately decided to postpone our wedding to June 2021. At the time we believed there was no chance COVID would last until June 2021! Little did we know… As the vaccine started to slowly roll out, we were confronted with the decision of whether to postpone our wedding yet again. Reluctantly, we decided to move our wedding date from June 2021 to June 2022. We wanted to be able to celebrate in-person with all of our family and friends from around the country and across the world without any hesitation or restrictions. The idea of dancing with masks or no dancing at all was simply not going to work!

We have finally started to return to our pre-pandemic lifestyle – albeit with masks still in place. Taking full benefit of our no-kids-yet lifestyle, we recently attended our first concert in several years, a German techno marching band on a Monday night no less (we have never been so cool). And yet, without doubt as a result of the pandemic, I ‘There was no chance continue to cherish our COVID would last until movie nights at home and Blue Apron cooking June 2021!’ routines.

Within weeks of our engagement, we were already looking at potential wedding venues. We put down our deposit for an August 2020 wedding. However, clearly, not everything went according to plan. As the start of the COVID-19 pandemic took hold, it became clear that it would only be a matter of time before we would start to be more 20

With our wedding now only a matter of weeks away, we have started to reflect less on what we have missed by being engaged for so long, but rather on what we

have gained. As my friends started to settle down and start families at the beginning of our engagement, I was admittedly a bit scared by the finality of marriage. But now, having gone through all that is the COVID-19 pandemic with Tina by my side, I am ready. I am marrying my best friend. TINA AND ADAM live and work in Los

Angeles where they plan to get married in June. Read the original story in the 2020 Celebrations Guide.

Bar/Bat Mitzahs and Weddings osmundsonphotography.com | glenn@osmundsonphotography.com | 401-257-9619 Jewish Rhode Island | Celebrations 2022

Letter to my Grandson BY RUTH KAPLAN Dear Abe, Welcome to the world! It’s been two weeks. Your entry into our lives actually began about a day and a half before your birth when your dad called us in the early morning to say that your mom’s water had broken and they were in the hospital. That’s when my anxious Jewish mother syndrome really began to kick in. Waiting for your arrival over the next thirty-six hours wasn’t easy for me, nor for your Zaide-to-be. Although your dad gave us periodic updates, the wait was agonizing. After all, your mom is still my baby and I had no control over what she was going through. I knew it was really hard, but all I could do was pray for a speedy delivery and a healthy baby, namely you!!! The news that you had emerged at 6:51 p.m. on Sunday night and that you were beautiful and perfect filled us with joy and elation. We couldn’t wait to meet you, which happened the following day. Before you were born, your mom decided that she did not wish to have a “Brit Milah,” or “Bris,” a ritual circumcision ceremony eight days after your arrival. Instead, you would be circumcised in the hospital a few days following your birth. Of course, as your newly minted Bubbe, I would have preferred a traditional Bris at our home. But to tell you the truth, Covid-19 would have put a damper on the whole affair, and I respected your mom’s wishes. In any event, the important part was that you were to be entered into the holy

covenant of father Abraham and the Jewish people by being circumcised. Imagine my surprise when a few minutes before you were taken for your incision at the hospital, I got a phone call from your mom and dad asking me to offer a traditional blessing for you upon the occasion of your circumcision. You don’t really know me yet, but I like to prepare for such special moments, and think carefully about the message I wish to convey. But I had no such luxury. Instead I quickly decided to chant over the phone the beautiful Debbie Friedman version of the “Shehechiyanu” pray where we give thanks to the Creator for renewing our lives, bestowing us with blessings and allowing us to celebrate sacred moments together. After chanting this blessing, I blurted out some additional remarks in which I referenced my late father who I said would have been so thrilled to welcome his new great grandson but whose values and shining legacy nonetheless would be bequeathed to you. Speaking about my father always makes me weepy, and this was no exception, but in any event, I was soon cut off when your mom and dad needed to whisk you off for your procedure. I’m sure it was not fun, but also feel certain you have already forgotten that momentary pain. Imagine my surprise when a day later your parents shared with us your beautiful and distinguished name of Abraham Zalman. Abraham

was your Zaide’s dad’s name and Zalman was my father’s rather unusual middle name that became a part of his public persona: Sumner Zalman Kaplan. In revealing your name to us, your mom noted that our forefather Abraham was the first Hebrew male to be circumcised as a sign of the everlasting covenant between the Jewish people and God.

May your life be filled with many more meaningful moments marked by both tradition and spontaneity. You’re off to a great start! All my love, Bubbe RUTH KAPLAN is the past director of community

Don’t worry, Abie, you’ll have plenty of time to relations at the Consulate General of Israel to learn about your rich Jewish heritage be it in New England. She is the former director of the religious school or otherwise. Your Zaide and I CJP Boston-Haifa Connection and supervisor of look forward to a more the young Israeli ambassaformal recognition of dors’ program called “Shinyour beautiful name ‘Imagine my surprise when shinim.” A nearly lifelong and legacy sometime a day later your parents resident of Brookline, Ruth this spring at a baby naming ceremony, but shared with us your beautiful has had careers in law and for me, I’ll always republic education advocacy and distinguished name’ member the unexpected and is passionate about honor bestowed upon creating people-to-people me of blessing you over connections among Israelis and Americans. Fluthe phone in your second day of life. It was an ent in Hebrew, Ruth is also a perennial Yiddish unconventional Bris, with a spiritually fulfilling ritual of its own nonetheless. and Spanish language learner.

FUN & AUTHENTIC WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY

2 Charles St., Providence RI 02904 401-287-4120 info@piperbrownphotography.com www.piperbrownphotography.com Jewish Rhode Island | Celebrations 2022

DINING

∙

EVENTS

∙

GOLF

∙

MARINA

Harbor Lights is the perfect combination of land and sea —

We offer plentiful on-site

a breathtaking backdrop for any seaside celebration.

customized menus, lighting,

Our central location, modern amenities and stellar food

audio and video systems to

service have made us a favorite choice for social

meet your special needs.

parking, valet service and dance ﬂooring, as well as

gatherings of all kinds. Whether you're looking to host an intimate event for 20 of your closest friends or a large

And don’t forget the

celebration for up to 200 guests, we've got you covered.

bonus of our beautifully conditioned golf course,

Each Harbor Lights client is paired with an experienced

TikiBar, inﬁnity pool and

and knowledgeable manager to help you plan and

marina – all available to

execute the perfect event. Our team covers every detail

help you create an event

so you can leave the business of your event to us. We

sprinkled with options,

keep track of the stressful details so you can focus on

activities and possibilities

being a fabulous host.

like no other.

HarborLightsRI.com 401-737-6353 ∙ 150 Gray Street, Warwick, RI ∙ events@harborlightsri.com 24