ION Arizona #113 November 2010

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SCOTTSDALE, ARIZONA

blaque halloween

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The Best is Yet To Come! Seriously.

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veryone knows growing up GLBT is tough. Despite what you hear on the news today, it wasn’t any easier when I was coming out. We didn’t have social networks and the mainstream media rarely discussed Gay topics.

We did have a lot of hate and if you were Gay, you not only felt very alone, you were alone. It seemed then that it wouldn’t get better.

I have a confession to make: ION Arizona magazine would not exist today if I was successful in committing suicide when I was younger. Not only did I plan my death but looked forward to the pain it would inflict on my love ones. I even wrote a final poem called “Silent Enemy” that I keep in my desk to this day. It was the first and last poem I’ve ever written.

a medium where they can feel good about themselves and the Gay lifestyle I now enjoy. In fact, this month, we are honoring some of the successful, interesting and exciting members of our community who also share my happiness in the “40 and Fabulous” feature.

The recent Gay suicides in the news are very tragic, but many agree - it gets better. I am living proof. I have never had closer friends, a more supportive family and a growing community of similar people.

I want to stop anyone from making the same mistake I almost did. Go to www.thetrevorproject.org for more info, support and even a way to donate to help today’s gay youth.

I decided over time that if you have a problem with my sexuality, it is exactly that - your problem. I found friends who supported me, and - to my surprise - after the initial shock, my family supported and embraced me. Arizona was also key to my acceptance. I came to town 12 years ago and it felt like a breath of freedom. Nobody knew me and nobody cared what I was. Gay or Straight.

There are many of non-profits agencies and businesses who support you and your lifestyle. Including ION Arizona.

Sincerely,

I created ION Arizona for one reason only: To give the GLBT community

Jack M. Tesorero Publisher

It gets better. The best is yet to come.

Trust me.

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3819 North 3rd Street Ste. #10, Phoenix, AZ 85012

(602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com

ionarizona@me.com

Publisher / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero - Ext. 5 ................. jacktesorero@me.com

My Heatstroke.com Bill Knoop .................................................... (602) 301-8457 CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw - Ext. 4 ..................... kbushaw@me.com Editor Deon Brown - Ext. 3 .................. ionazeditor@me.com PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Craig Rubin ................................. ionarizona@me.com GRAPHIC DESIGNER Tom King ......................... ionazproduction@me.com PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS ionazproduction@me.com Advertising Sales Jack Tesorero Ext 2 - ionazsales@me.com Photographers:

Daniel Cavanaugh Fernando Hernandez

Jerry O’Conner Don Thompson

National Advertising Representative Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 ContributORS:

Wes Bergman Addison DeWitt Jackson David Kelly

Ted Kirby Kim Ruff Paul Sanchez

Published monthly by

1995-2010: 15 Years of Design and Creative Excellence

© 2010 JMT Designs, Inc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ

All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.

NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company.

Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

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witches’ ball

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CHARLIE’S PHOENIX

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Grand Re-Opening Who said a Grand Opening had to last only one night? icepics videobar gives you five times the reason to celebrate their Grand Re-Opening this November 11-15. It all kicks off Thursday November 11 with Underwear Night, giving you 2-4-1 drinks all night if you’re in your b’day suit! And it just keeps getting better as the week goes on! The party doesn’t stop until Monday November 15! icepics: 3108 E. McDowell Rd. Phone : 602-267-8707

Pink 4 a Purpose Are you thinking pink? Help tackle breast cancer on Friday, November 19 for an all day even for awareness and research at BS West. There will be a raffle, silent auction, Powder Puff Variety Show, and more! So head on over for some fun for a purpose!

BS West: 7125 E. 5th Ave, Scottsdale 480-945-9028

Charlie’s 26th Anniversary My how the time has flown by!

Come celebrate 26 buckin’ years at Charlie’s on November 17! The night is hosted by Claudia B. and Pussy LeHoot and there will be a complimentary buffet at 7 p.m. Put on your best of the west and celebrate 26 years of fun!

Charlie’s: 727 W. Camelback Rd. 602-265-0224

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Carnaval Latino 6th Anniversary Celebrate 6 loco years of fun with Carnaval Latino on Wednesday, November 24 at Karamba!

There will be go-go boys, giveaways, and most importantly, a performance from Shannel from the hit show RuPaul’s Drag Race! The first 100 people through the door get a carinvallatino 2011 calendar!

Karamba: 1724 E. McDowell Rd. 602-254-0231

Men of HomoRodeo.com Head on over and meet the 2011 men of homorodeo.com at TWO locations on December 4! Meet the models and round up your friends for a fun time!

Root Seller: 4-7pm 4015 N. 16th St. 602-265-7668 Bar 1: 9pm 3702 N. 16th St. 602-266-9001.

NOVEMBER 2010 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE 6 10 11-15 13 14 17 19 20 20 24 25 28

EVENT & LOCATION CITY Mya McKenzie Drag Show at Lush Phoenix Veteran’s Day Pre-Party at Karamba Phoenix icepics Grand Re-Opening Phoenix Cougar Cabaret at Apollo’s Phoenix Rated R at BS West Scottsdale Charlie’s 26th Anniversary Phoenix Burlesque at Apollo’s Phoenix Burlesque at Forbidden Scottsdale Family Feud at Roscoe’s Phoenix Carnaval Latino 6 Year Anniversary at Karamba Phoenix Thanksgiving Party at Karamba Phoenix Vanity at BS West Scottsdale

DECEMBER 4 The Men of HomoRodeo.com

The Root Seller and Bar 1 November 2010

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Burlesque Are you ready to Burlesque? Check out this two night engagement of a very special themed drag show inspired by the film, featuring famed drag queens Chad Michael and Barbra Seville taking on the roles of Cher and Christina Aguilera! On Friday November 19 you can catch the duo oooh-ing and ahh-ing at Apollo’s Lounge. On Saturday November 20 you can catch the encore at Forbidden Nightclub! Apollo’s Lounge - 5749 N. 7th St, for table reservations call 602-277-9373.

Forbidden Night Club 6820 E. 5th Ave, Scottsdale.

For reservations visit forbiddenaz.com

novemer 2010 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S) Mondays

9:00pm

Apollo’s

Naughty or Nice Bingo with Erikya Knowles

Wednesdays

10:00pm

Charlie’s

Claudia B. & Company

Wednesdays

9:00pm

Forbidden

Open Wide Drag Review with Victoria Bacon & Felicia Minor

Third Thursdays

10:00pm

Forbidden

Miss Ruby’s Show

Thursdays

10:30pm

Karamba

Grecia’s Show

Fridays

9:00pm

BS West

Elements - followed by Mandy B.B.’s Boys!

Saturdays

10:00pm

icepics

Pandemonium with AZ Gender Outlaws

Saturdays

10:00pm

Forbidden

The Barbra Seville Show

Saturdays

9:30pm

Charlie’s

Pussy’s Patio Show

Sundays

8:30pm

Charlie’s

Pussy LeHoot & Friends

Sundays

10:30pm

Karamba

Galilea’s Show

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8:00pm

Apollo’s

Afeelya. Bunz Ttotm Show Cougar Cabaret

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10:00pm

Apollo’s

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8:00pm

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T.C. Taylors That Time Of The Month Show

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Apollo’s

Burlesque with Chad Michaels and Barbra Seville Burlesque with Chad Michaels and Barbra Seville

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10:00pm

Forbidden

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8:00pm

Apollo’s

Mia Adams That Time Of The Month Show

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8:00pm

Apollo’s

Barbra Seville’s TTOTM

To add your drag event, e-mail dates, times, locations & pics to kbushaw@me.com Included events must be 1) Charity Benefit OR 2) Located at an ION Arizona Advertiser 24

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HALLOWEEN PARTY

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Cher and Cher Alike

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ypsies, tramps and thieves. If it has anything to do with Cher, then famed female celebrity impersonator Chad Michaels knows all about it. For nearly 20 years Michaels has made a career impersonating the Original Diva in addition to Julie Andrews, Celine Deon, Lily Tomlin and more. Chad chatted with ION Arizona about his career, his upcoming appearance in Phoenix with Barbra Seville, and about – what else? – Cher.

ION: When did you decide to “be” Cher?

Chad Michaels: When I got into doing drag, my drag mother saw the potential in me and wanted to get me into the Dreamgirls Revue, but the producer required all the cast members do a character, so he put me in drag as Cher, and it all snowballed from that one night. This was around 1992, or 1993.

ION: What’s your favorite Cher look?

CM: I love her blonde! But the classic look is the “Turn Back Time” look with the black catsuit. I really experiment with all of her different looks. Some of it works, some of it doesn’t. It depends on how a headpiece frames my face, but I have a really good time doing as many of her looks as I can just to keep my repertoire fresh and for the audience who has seen me, so I’m not doing the same act all the time.

ION: Which look is retired forever?

CM: None, but there’s some I haven’t really tackled yet. The 70s disco looks I haven’t done. I’ve got a good selection of costumes from each decade of Cher that I toss around and can play with. It’s fun! The variety keeps me very happy.

I’m getting ready for the new album

to come out next year and I’m really excited about Burlesque, because I honestly haven’t had a new Cher song to perform since 2001 when Living Proof came out.

ION: Is it hard keeping up with Cher’s changes?

CM: Yes, the costumes keep me jumping. The show she’s been doing in Vegas for the past three years started out with 17 costumes and during the course she’s had Bob Mackie make her different looks for the songs in the shows. Two years ago I went broke trying to keep up with her and have new looks to present to my audience, because I want to give them the best show I can, and the most current look.

She’s tough to keep up with. Bob Mackie is brilliant. He’s such an icon; I admire him so much! When my partner and I make the costumes, we really try to do him justice in the replicas of his work. It really is a labor of love for me.

ION: Do you ever wish you picked somebody to imitate who wasn’t as extravagant as Cher?

CM: No! I feel so blessed to have been able to impersonate Cher, and to be successful at it, and have people actually like what I do and want to see me perform. A lot of people don’t do celebrity impersonation in drag but those who do are lucky if they have one person that they look like, and I feel very lucky to do her, and I’m very grateful to her. Doing Cher has made so many things in my life possible. I’ve met so many people, traveled so many places. She’s never shut me down.

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knows a lot of impersonators do Cher make a living off of it. She’s cool with it. She’s acknowledged us. I’m very, very grateful.

ION: You do so much Cher! What music do you listen to when you’re not listening to Cher?

CM: I love Classic Rock! I always have my car radio either on Classic Rock or a jazz station. I like rock standards, but I love jazz to chill me out, if I’m tense or something, a little smooth jazz will always do the trick for me.

ION: When does Cher stop and Chad Michaels begin?

CM: Cher begins and ends on stage.

This is very much a job but more of a career for me. I’ve really dedicated the last 11 years doing impersonation and drag. For me, it’s pretty much a uniform that I put on when I go to work and take off when I leave. I’m not one to run the streets in drag, or party in drag. I just don’t do that. She does filter into my daytime when I’m creating costumes or styling hair, or doing mixes and whatnot, but I’ve got a really good relationship with her (laughs) you know what I mean? A good balance, between drag and my personal life.

ION: What would you like ION to know about Chad Michaels?

CM: I truly love to entertain people.

At the end of the day, that’s my goal.

To make them feel happy that they’re seeing Cher when they know they’re never gonna get to go to Vegas and

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see her; maybe I’m the next best thing for that person.

At the other end of the spectrum, if someone wants to sit in the audience with their folded arms and scowl at me, I’m cool with that, too. At least they’re feeling something. Today people are so to themselves. Fine. Don’t like me. It’s totally cool. But feel something! Have an opinion. Let me draw that out of you by what I do. I’m cool with whatever their reaction is. I always hope that I’m going to leave people feeling uplifted.

Forget about whatever’s on their mind, what’s troubling them, for just five minutes. That is what we do as drag entertainers. You can’t color it any other way. That’s what I always hope to achieve whenever I’m performing.

ION: Are you close to Cher? Has she seen you?

CM: I actually got to do a performance - I opened for her. It was a benefit and she was invited to perform. She wanted someone to open for her and break the ice. It’s well-documented that she has stage fright, so they had me come out and perform “If I Could Turn Back Time.” It was like a “fake out” warmup type thing. I got to meet her and speak with her for about ten minutes.

At a moment like that you think what you’re going to say, and I feel like I didn’t get to say what I wanted; I was so overwhelmed. It was really, really an amazing blessing.

I thought it must be really strange for her, too, or for anybody who’s a celebrity that people impersonate. You strive to look like them, perform like them. It’s got to be strange. I’ve always wondered how she feels when she sees queens who impersonate her.

ION: Have you ever had to convince anyone that you’re not Cher?

CM: I’m not gonna fool your average Gay. I don’t go up to people like Cher.

But if I go to the Cher concert dressed and walk up to the Colosseum and about to go in, a lot of the older people, 50 and above, they’re the ones who see me out of context, not in a drag show, yeah, some little old ladies’ with prescription glasses might think I’m Cher.

ION: What can your Phoenix audience expect from Chad Michaels?

CM: They can expect the brand, new Burlesque. I’m gonna have four days to learn it, but come hell or high water I’m gonna have a brand new Cher performance. I’m bringing different sets to each club. I think I’m gonna bring Joan Crawford. I made Top Ten at Entertainer of the Year. I’m gonna bring a little bit of everything that I do. I might even bring some Marilyn Manson.

ION: If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be?

CM: Hmmmm. I would want to have the power of foresight. So I could tell the future and not make some of the stupid decisions that I have in the past!

“Sooner or later, we all sleep alone.”

But you won’t sleep during one of Chad Michaels’ performances as Cher. Join Barbra Seville when she teams up with Chad Michaels on Friday, November 19 at Apollo’s Lounge at 10 p.m., and again on Saturday, November 20 at Forbidden Nightclub. Go to www.ForbiddenAZ. com to make reservations.

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jujubee live

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TRINITY NIGHTCLUB

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by Deon Brown 34

Randy Rainbow

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eb sensation Randy Rainbow keeps good company.

He’s dated Mel Gibson. He attended Chelsea Clinton’s wedding. He’s BFFs with Lindsay Lohan. And if you’re dim enough to believe any of that, he has a bridge to sell you.

Truth is, Rainbow doesn’t know those people. But his hilarious videos – which use audio clips of celebrities, like Gibson’s infamous voicemails and Dr. Laura’s racially charged radio show segment, to tell a story – might convince you otherwise.

Quite possibly the GLBT community’s hottest commodity since Ricky Martin popped out the closet, the NYC-based blogger, in a recent interview, talks about his Broadway roots, his appearance on PerezHilton.com, his online competition, and how you can stalk him on Facebook, phone number included.

Warning: That call may be monitored or taped for nefarious purposes.

ION: You really have a gift for comedy. Where did that come from?

RANDY RAINBOW: Why, thank you!

I come from a very funny, very silly family, so that helps. I’m also something of a comedy junkie. I’ve been observing and absorbing it in every medium since I was a kid. I think humor is the most important thing in this life.

ION: Your blog primarily caters to a Broadway-minded crowd, so what made you pursue mainstream celebs in your bits?

RR: The heart of the blog has always been Broadway, as I’ve always been a big show queen. Over the years, though, it’s strayed and become more all encompassing because my interests and opinions extend beyond just theater. The new website I’m working on will include lots of Broadway, but won’t be quite as concentrated.

There’s just too much material out there to pass up.

ION: You’ve received a good amount of press from the Gay blogs, like Queerty and Towleroad. How have things changed now that a massive audience has found you? Any interesting opportunities – or propositions?

RR: Well, I’m still single, if that’s what you’re getting at – and thank you very much for bringing it up! But yes, the exposure has been incredible. New and exciting opportunities are popping up almost every day.

ION: Tell me about the day your Lindsay Lohan video was featured on Perez Hilton. Mostly because I’m gonna have to live vicariously through you. The last time I wrote about him I might have called him a “self-loathing sloth,” so I’m pretty sure I’ll never appear on his site – at least not without semen painted all over my face and the word “cunt” scrawled across my scratched-out November 2010

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advice can you give? eyes.

Anyway, how did it feel to be catapulted like that? Did you know it was coming? Did you have time to prepare?

RR: I had no idea it was coming!

Luckily, I’d washed my hair that morning, but otherwise, there was no preparation. All of a sudden, I had, like, 40 new e-mails in my inbox and I knew something was up. Perez had subscribed to my YouTube channel when the Mel Gibson thing really hit, so I was hopeful he’d post something of mine eventually.

ION: You’re obviously very good at building a personal brand – because I don’t believe for a second that your legal name is Randy Rainbow. For all those Gays out there just trying to make a fake name for themselves, what

RR: First of all, how dare you?! Believe it or not, Randy Rainbow is the name on my birth certificate. It sounds like the gayest of all stage names, but it is in fact nothing but the truth. Trust me – I would not make that shit up. It’s working out great for me now, but it was a very traumatic childhood.

ION: There’s another semi-underthe-radar gay blogger who’s making videos these days that are starting to get a lot of attention. I’m sure you know about Davey Wavey. Is there a rivalry between you two? Can there be, please?

RR: I’ve only seen one of his videos.

Once they started posting me on Queerty, the regulars over there started making comparisons, so I checked him out. He’s very handsome and usually pretty naked, which I appreciate. I wish him only the best. Maybe one day we’ll have a dance-off or something.

ION: BTW, you know your phone number is still on your Facebook page, right? You’re kind of famous now and some crazy gay is totally gonna stalk your life if you don’t remove it. You’ll never know who it is, either, because I’ll … er, he’ll block the calls.

RR: I didn’t realize that, but thank you for bringing it to my attention. Come to think of it, I have been getting a lot of missed calls from undisclosed numbers…

ION: Speaking of Facebook,

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we share a mutual friend. I didn’t know that until a few minutes ago. Do you think we know him the same way?

RR: I honestly don’t know who you’re talking about, but if you mean sexually, then yes. I’ve slept with all of my Facebook friends. I’m almost up to 2,000!

ION: So what happens now? You’re all over the Internet and your fans are waiting for your next comedic masterpiece. Whatcha got for us?

RR: I’m gonna continue crankin’ out the videos. I’m even starting to get some fancy guest stars, so look out for those. Stay tuned for the new website.

We’re hoping to officially launch at the beginning of the New Year. I’ll also be

guest-hosting on Sirius XM’s OutQ channel. Lots of other fun stuff is in the works. For now, everyone should check my blog regularly, subscribe to me on YouTube, follow me on Twitter and friend me on Facebook. I will sleep with anyone who does. My phone number is listed.

Visit Randy Rainbow on his blog at www.therandyrainbowblahg.com and subscribe to his YouTube channel at www.youtube.com/tday4u.

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and the founder of Paper Rox Scissors, a copywriting and creative consulting company in New York City.

He can be reached at mikey@paperroxscissors.com

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Phoenix Parade of the Arts The 5th Annual Phoenix Parade of the Arts on Saturday, November 13 on 5th St. & Roosevelt! The theme is all about with Environmental Consciousness and called, “Let it Grow, Let it Grow, Let it Grow!” for this pedestrian powered parade. There’ll be artists, a pie social, live music, dancing and probably zombies and more! Feel like participating? Join in the fun! Costumes, bikes, noisemakers, whatever! For more info visit www.PhoenixAnnualParadeoftheArts.com

Arizona Antique Market \We know you’re searching for the perfect pickle caster. Or Disco Barbie. Or maybe a buggy whip? Well, here’s your chance! It’s the Arizona Antique Market comes to America’s Home & Garden Center at 13802 N. Scottsdale Road, the northwest corner of Scottsdale and Thunderbird Roads. Best of all, parking and admission is FREE! Visit www.AZantiqueShow.com for more info.

Fantasy of Lights Ring in the holidays, Tempe style! Downtown Mill Avenue transforms into a cheesy, cheery wonderland of fairy lights with all kinds of illuminated signage of politically correct, nondenominational wintertime greetings that shouldn’t offend anybody. It’s actually really nice! So bundle up as needed and on pop on over to Hayden’s Ferry on November 27 and enjoy the inauguration of the holiday season. Ho! Ho! Ho!

November 2010 ION around town listings DATE ARTIST / EVENT LOCATION

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AZ Classic Jazz Festival - San Marcos Resort Chandler Carefree Fine Arts & Wine Fest Downtown Carefree Festival of Greece - Scotts. Civic Center Scottsdale Chiles &Chocolate Festival - Desert Botanical Gardens Phoenix Bluegrass Festival - Bowman Rodeo Grounds Wickenberg Phx. Parade of the Arts - 5th St. & Roosevelt Phoenix Local Fall Festival at Duck & Decanter Phoenix Spanish Market at the Heard Museum Phoenix Arizona Antique Market - Scotts & Thunderbird Rds. Scottsdale ArtFest of Scottsdale - Civic Center Plaza Scottsdale ZooLights at the Phx Zoo Phoenix AZ Int’l. Auto Show - Phx. Convention Center Phoenix Fantasy of Lights Opening Night - Mill Ave. Tempe

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CitiScape Grand Opening Celebration Who needs to escape the city when, when you can escape to City Scape! The time has come for the Grand Opening of City Scape! Come celebrate the official opening of the downtown wonder November 5- 7 for 3 full days of celebration!

There is even a performance by Grammy award winning musician Macy Gray on November 5, and Third Eye Blind closes the night on November 6! The best part? Admission is free! 1 E. Washington St, Phoenix. Phone : 480-947-7772

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Michael Feinstein The Show Tune Queen of all Show Tune Queens! The fabulous Michael Feinstein, who knows virtually every Cole Porter, Gershwin, Berlin song ever written presents “The Sinatra Project,” where he’ll tickle the ivories and croon Frankie Blue Eye’s greatest hits.

He’s wonderful! Catch him Thursday, November 18 at 8 p.m. at the Celebrity Theatre at 440 N. 32nd St. For tickets call 602-267-1600 or visit CelebrityTheatre.com

So You Think You Can Dance

You thrilled to their terpsichorean talents, and now these hoofers are taking their act on the road! Winner Lauren Froderman, a Phoenix Greenway High School grad is joined by the adorable Kent Boyd and the super hot Robert Roldan and the other finalists at the Jobing.com Arena on Wednesday, November 17. 9400 W. Maryland Ave. For tix call Ticketmaster at 800-745-3000

Usher

“Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh my gosh!” It’s Usher!

People Magazine called him “The Sexiest R&B Artist Alive” and it’s true. Heck, he may be THE Sexiest Man Alive!

He brings everything he’s got to the Jobing.com Arena on Friday, November 19 for a one of a kind show. 9400 W. Maryland Ave. For tix call Ticketmaster at 800-745-3000

November 2010 ION Concert Calendar DATE ARTIST / EVENT LOCATION 3 Kenny Loggins Celebrity Theatre 6 Elton John vs. Leon Russell Cricket Wireless Pavilion 9 Bad Religion Marquee Theatre 10 Celtic Thunder Dodge Theatre 13 Michael Feinstein Celebrity Theatre 14 Basia Celebrity Theatre 14 Robert Cray Talking Stick Resort 14 Gwar Marquee Theatre 17 So You Think You Can Dance Jobing.com 17 Local Music Showcase Marquee Theatre 17-21 Cirque du Soleil - Alegria Cricket Wireless Pavilion 18 Black Label Berzerkus Dodge Theatre 19 Usher Jobing.com Arena 20 David Cassidy JW Marriott Desert Ridge 27 Roger Waters US Airways Center 28 Trans-Siberian Orchestra Jobing.com Arena 29 André Rieu Jobing.com Arena November 2010

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by Jackson David Kelly jacksonkelly@cox.net

Yo, DJ! What’s New? In addition to these great finds check out new albums from Mariah Carey, Susan Boyle, Annie Lennox (all holiday themed), Ferry Corsten, Neil Diamond, Josh Groban, Reba, Kid Rock, Bruce Springsteen, Keith Urban, Ne-Yo, Rascal Flatts, Lee Dewyze (AI winner) and My Chemical Romance.

Rihanna Loud

While most artists are lucky to get two albums in five years, Rihanna continues to ride the power train of success with yet another release.

And for those that were disappointed with “Rated R” (though that still stands as her best album in my book), be inspired to see the dancy, more vibrant girl back on the block. Lead single, “Only Girl” resonates with a techno beat that proves most infectious, while second single “What’s My Name,” goes island style and gives listeners more of what they’ve grown to love. Other tracks of note include the club bangin’ hits of “Cheers” and “S&M” as well as two of her best ballads to date, “CA King” and “Fading Away.”

Soundtrack Burlesque

After tepid response to“Bionic,” Christina Aguilera is going “back to basics” to find solace in a sultry sound that is assured to tickle you pink.

Twelve tracks adorn this collection, most being from the superstar, but also find two new songs from the “now-out-of-retirement” Cher.

Her introduction to “Burlesque” is divine as is her power ballad, “You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me,” which ironically sets her up for

her new album in 2011. Unfortunately, there is no true Cher/Aguilera duet, but the standalone tracks of “Something’s Got a Hold” and “Spotlight” make up for all that has lacked this year.

Norah Jones Featuring

Take a listen at one of the most diverse and impressive albums of 2010 and see that it’s possible to mix Blues, Country, Jazz, R&B and Bluegrass successfully.

She features dues with The Foo Fighters, Willie Nelson, Ryan Adams, Belle & Sebastian among others.

However, this album’s true masterpieces are the country twangs of “Bull Rider” with Sasha Dobson and the feel good hit “Creepin’ In” with Dolly Parton. She even gets “gritty” on her sleek and smart productions with Outkast, Q-Tip and Talib Kweli. Who says easy listening has to be boring?

The Green Children Encounter

We’re taught in school to never judge a book by its cover. Follow that rule with this release.

Lush with ethereal and haunting angelic vocals, I implore you to check this out. Title track and first single almost blips with a fairy tale trip-hop beat all while incorporating the sounds of Delirium and Enigma. Encounter also gets amazing support from the sweeping and downtempo gems of “Life Savior” and “Skies on Fire.” And then there’s “Price of Fame.” Its moving and caressing piano riff completes this album with a lavish undertone worthy of your attention.

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COMING OUT DAY

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The Muckle Man Marine biologist Addison Clarke has come to search for Architeuthis, the elusive giant squid and solve its mysteries. Clarke’s wife, Marina, chases a mystery of her own when she rescues a naked stranger who emerges from the ocean. Currents of pop culture, contemporary science, and ancient folklore run through this chilling edge-of-your seat thriller. Presented by Nearly Naked Theatre, November 6-27 at the Little Theatre at Phoenix Theatre, 100 E. McDowell Rd. Tix: 602-254-2151 or visit ww.NearlyNakedTheatre.org

Hairspray When hairhopper Tracy Turnblad’s dream to appear on The Corny Collins Show and campaigns for integration, all hell breaks loose! In song and dance! See it all happen at The Phoenix Theatre, 10 E. McDowell Rd. from November 10-December 12. 10 E. McDowell Rd. in Phx. Get tix at www.PhoenixTheatre.com or call 602-254-2121

How the Grinch Stole Christmas “You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch!” This holiday classic will warm any heart – even one that’s two sizes too small. Ring in the season November 17-21 with a rousing chorus of “Yah Who Doraze” at ASU Gammage, 1200 S. Forest. Ave. Get your tix at www.ASUGammage.com or call 480-965-3434

november 2010 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT thru 7 Dirty Rotten Scoundrels 6-27 The Muckle Man 9-10 Cirque Dreams 10-12/12 Hairspray 11-14 Cirque Dreams thru 14 In The Next Room thru 24 42nd St. 4-7 Romeo & Juliet 11-28 Ma Rainey’s Black Blottom 12 Dennis Miller 17-21 Grinch Stole Christmas 18-25 Annie 19-2/4 The Secret Garden 26 Brad Garrett thru 27 The Happiest Millionaire 27 Jim Gaffigan 27-18 12th Night

LOCATION

Desert Stages Theatre Phoenix Theatre Mesa Arts Center Phoenix Theatre Orpheum Theatre Actors Theatre AZ B’way Theatre AZ Theatre Co. AZ Theatre Co. Celebrity Theatre ASU Gammage B’way Palm Dinner Theatre ASU Lyric Opera Talking Stick Resort Hale Theatre Comerica Theatre SW Shakespeare Theatre

PHONE 480-483-1664 602-254-2151 602-262-7272 602-254-2151 602-262-7272 602-253-6701 623-776-8400 602-265-6995 Phoenix 602-267-1600 480-965-3434 480-325-6700 480-965-6447 480-857-7734 480-497-1181 602-379-2888 480-641-7039

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Nearly Naked Gets Dark & Creepy After Halloween!

A

ll Hallows’ Eve may have come and gone, but the new play opening at Nearly Naked Theatre this month still rustles in the dark and goes bump in the night. It’s the Arizona Premiere of a “folkoric” thriller called The Muckle Man. And “creepy” doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Owen Virgin, a young actor who delighted us last year in Nearly Naked’s production of The Little Dog Laughed, as a bisexual rent-boy who falls in love with a movie star. If he is able to use any of his charm and exciting presence as the Muckle Man, it will surely be a trick-or-treat for the show’s audiences.

To tell you what a muckle man is would spoil the plot. But suffice it to say that they come out of the ocean (wearing very little clothing) and have an agenda and a strange set of rules that no one understands.

“I’m so glad you remember him,” says Dering, “Because he really is a joy to work with and he really is great as the muckle man! It’s a very hard character to pull off. You have to be a little like ‘Starman’ and a little like David Carradine in Kung-Fu. And you have to be a little sexy as well. Owen can do all those things, and you’re going to love him.”

“It’s part horror story and part myth— with some ‘family’ and ‘psychological’ drama thrown in for good measure,” says Nearly Naked’s Artistic Director Damon Dering. “Aguirre-Sacasa (the playwright) is a comic book writer by day, and his theatre work is filled with myth and magic that just fascinates me! This play is deeply rooted in the mythology and style of H.P. Lovecraft, who is one of my favorite writers. The Muckle Man is about a family in crisis. They are deeply tied to the ocean, and from the ocean comes a man who may be their savior, but he could also be something else entirely.”

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Nearly Naked Not wanting to cheapen the accolades of an actor we do indeed admire here at IONAZ, we still had to ask: “Do we get to see ‘as much’ of him as we did in Little Dog Laughed?”

“Yes,” Dering says with a wry smile on his face. “Because you got something a little wrong earlier… Muckle Men come out of the ocean wearing absolutely no clothing.”

THE MUCKLE MAN runs November 5th thru November 27th and is intended for mature audiences; containing adult themes, language and nudity.

Performances are Thursdays thru Saturdays at 8pm, and Sundays at 6pm or 2pm (alternating). There is no performance on Thanksgiving Day. The Little Theatre at Phoenix Theatre is located at 100 E. McDowell Rd. in the Phoenix Theatre/Phoenix Art Museum complex. For tickets, call Phoenix Theatre’s box office at (602) 254-2151 or visit Nearly Naked Theatre online at www.nearlynakedtheatre.org.

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by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com

Movie Previews Howl

Starring: James Franco, Aaron Tveit, Jon Hamm, David Straithairn “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness...” So begins Allen Ginsberg’s most well-known poem and center of controversy, “Howl”.

Ginsberg, who – alongside Jack Kerouac and William S. Boroughs – defined the Beat Generation of the 1950s, becomes the subject of directors, Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman, in their 2010 experimental film titled after his infamous poem. Focusing on Ginsberg’s debut performance of the poem at the Six Gallery Reading on October 7, 1955 and his 1957 Obscenity Trial, Howl takes a non-linear approach to storytelling by splicing together black and white reenactments starring James Franco (Milk) as Ginsberg and Aaron Tveit (Gossip Girl) as his life-long partner, Peter Orlovsky, color footage of the Obscenity Trial, and animated interpretations of the poem itself. Similar to the brilliant interpretive works of filmmaker, Julie Taymor (Frida, Across the Universe), Howl is a faithful autobiography of an artist that both catalogs – and pays homage to – the artist’s work by flawlessly explores the artistry inherent in filmmaking.

Burlesque

Starring: Cher, Christina Aguilera, Stanley Tucci Written and directed by Steve Antin (The Good Mother), Burlesque is the upcoming feature film acting debut of singer/performer, Christina Aguilera. Aguilera plays Ali Rose, a small-town girl with a big voice, who lands a job working as a cocktail waitress as the infamous club, The Burlesque Lounge. Making friends and enemies amongst the staff, she eventually catches the eye of stage manager, Sean (Tucci, Julie and Julia), who, in a move that promises to recapture the former glory of the nightclub, puts her in the show. Cher co-stars as Tess, the club’s owner and headliner.

While the plot rings remarkably similar to the Elizabeth Berkeley vehicle/outrage, Showgirls, it is my hope that combining the singing/performing talents of Cher and Christina Aguilera with the over-the-top antics of burlesque will not only rescue the fictional club in the film, but also rescue the film itself. Release Date: November 24, 2010

Theatrical Release Date:

October 22, 2010 DVD Release Date: January 4, 2011 November 2010

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by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com

DVD Movie Review CHER: The Film Collection

GLEE: Complete First Season

I will be the first to admit that I am a walking, breathing stereotype as a card-carrying member of our humble community and an unabashed fan of the indomitable triple-threat, Cher (I love her almost as much as I love Bette Davis. Almost.)

A talented singer, performer, and actress, it is nearly impossible to be an appreciator of art and strong women without developing a deep admiration for this leggy, bedroom-eyed Italian-American Goddess. With the upcoming release of Cher: The Film Collection, it is my hope that the less-than-impressed will finally wise up. Featuring several of her critically and commercially successful films, including Silkwood (Mike Nichol’s 1983 true-crime film about the suspicious death of Karen Silwood, played by Meryl Streep), Moonstruck (Norman Jewison’s 1987 romantic comedy that garnered Cher an Oscar for her performance as Loretta Castorini), Mermaids (Richard Benjamin’s 1990 coming-of-age film co-starring Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci), and Tea with Mussolini (Franco Zeffirelli’s 1999 film set during WWII, co-starring Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, and Lily Tomlin), Cher: The Film Collection is this season’s must-have!

Release Date: November 2, 2010

If you aren’t basking in the warmth radiating off your television set on Tuesdays at 8 p.m. watching Glee on Fox with the same fervor and dedication as self-proclaimed “Gleeks”, then you’ve been missing out on what all the fuss is about. With the recent release of Glee: Season 1, this is your opportunity to finally understand why American tweens still have no clue as to who Journey is, but somehow know all the lyrics to “Don’t Stop Believing.” Set at the fictional William McKinley High School in Lima, Ohio, Glee focuses on the trials, tribulations, and sing-alongathons of the school’s show choir/glee club, led by Spanish Teacher, Will Schuester (Matthew Morrison).

Complete with a cast of hardhitting theater-toTV transplants, every episode plays out like a Kristin Chenoweth musical – filled with joyous song, dance, and revelry.

This set also features interviews, jukebox, karaoke, behind the scenes, the pilot and much more. Release Date: available now

Starring: Cher! (and those fortunate enough to work with her.)

Starring: Lea Michele, Matthew Morrison, Jane Lynch

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“Did you wash your hands?”:

My Mother’s Restaurant W

e all know what Mother said: “Say ‘please’ ‘may I?’ and ‘thank you.’” “Did you finish your homework?” and “If everybody else jumped off a cliff, would you do it, too?”

Our own mothers have their little ways of making the homes we grew up in warm and loving places. Some mothers – like mine, who heated up Stauffer’s Lasagna for Thanksgiving dinner – were a little more unconventional, but loved anyway.

But if your mother is thousands of miles away and you can’t get that traditional comfort food she always made that you love so much, you might want to try the venerable My Mother’s Restaurant, especially with Thanksgiving around the corner.

My Mother’s recipes are all taken from the cookbooks of original owner Joanne’s mother. And although Joanne (whose wedding portrait hangs in the lobby) is retired now, we’re told that from time to time she still visits the café, puts on an apron and cooks in the kitchen.

My Mother’s menu is wide and varied. You’ll find everything from pizza, chicken wings, and fried chicken to slightly fancier entrées, such as prime rib, grilled salmon or sea bass and teriyaki chicken. We stuck to the ol’ homestyle stand-bys: fresh carved roasted turkey, meatloaf and chicken fried steak. The delicious slices of homemade whole

Don’t let the appearance deceive you.

Located in an rapidly aging strip mall on 19th Avenue at the cankered mouth of The West Side, My Mother’s Restaurant definitely doesn’t have the glitz, glamour and sparkle that we’re usually attracted to. Still, there’s something kind of sweet about the tacky curtains, the truly horrible framed reproductions of masterpieces decorating the walls, and the even the funny little mini-salad bar. But what My Mother’s does have is really good comfort food. The kind that, well, your mother makes, so to speak.

And they’ve been doing it for 33 years in the same location, so they must be doing something right.

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wheat bread arriving at your table piping hot will tide you over.

Loaves are available for purchase for only $1.99 each.

The truth is: the meal was good. I mean, really, really good. The turkey is actually roasted on the premises, a.k.a “homemade.”

None of that icky, fake “pressed turkey-like meat parts” masquerading as turkey. The stuffing: it’s the real thing. Traditional, not dry, and lots of sage. Just like home.

The meatloaf is rich, moist, and delicious, accompanied by a ramekin of dark, brown gravy. The side, however, of mixed vegetables consisting of cauliflower, carrots and something greenish, were sadly overcooked, nearly disintegrating at the touch of a fork. I don’t care if they’re good for me, I won’t eat them. Blecchh.

The chicken fried steak is generous, blanketed with a velvety smooth country gravy. Although not as extraordinary as the fabled chicken fried steak at Texaz Grill on Bethany Home Road and 16th Street, it was worthy of licking the plate clean. The mashed potatoes chosen to buddy up with the turkey and chicken fried steak were top notch. These spuds were smooth, and with just a few lumps to be 100% authentic. Just add pepper. Practically all the entrées hover right around the $10 mark. The waitress swore that all food is prepared in house, from scratch, with no MSG or additional preservatives, either, although I’m suspicious the brown gravy came from a jar or a mix.

Mother always says, “Save room for dessert!”

In this case, it’s an absolute must. The huge, quarter of a pie that serves as a “piece” is heavenly. The crust is tender and flaky, and the fillings are sweet and tasty. I’d swear that the cherries were fresh from the orchard. The chocolate cream pie is nothing short of sinful.

So if you’re a little homesick, or lost your mother, or just plain ol’ don’t like to cook, I promise you, My Mother’s Restaurant will make you feel right at home. Clean your plate or you’re grounded for a week.

My Mothers Restaurant 4019 N. 19th Ave. Phoenix, Arizona 602-279-7225 Mon-Thurs: 10:30 a.m.-9 p.m.

Fri: 10:30 a.m.-10 p.m.

Sat: 3 p.m.-10 p.m.

Sun: CLOSED

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1 VOICE GALA

SACS FIFTH AVENUE

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F

orty is the new thirty! You can’t say that anybody in their forties is “over the hill!” ION Arizona has picked a variety of Phoenix’ best and brightest “of a certain age” who prove that they can still keep up with the best of ‘em. A combination of Life, Love and Community Involvement proves that you’re never too old. As Dave Thomas told us, “Enjoy your life and never tire of learning.”

There you have it. That’s the secret. And that’s fabulous!

Photography by Jerry O’Conner Text by Deon Brown Art by Kevin Bushaw

Dave Thomas “Here’s looking at you, kid.”

Dr. Dave Thomas is a respected Doctor of Optometry practicing in Phoenix. His secret? “It’s about finding a good balance. I’ve been blessed with good friends, family, health and a career that I love.

It’s all about recognizing and being happy with simple pleasures.” And Dave sure looks good to us! Need your vision checked? He’ll be keeping an eye out for you.

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Nancy Nunez > If you hear music, no doubt Nancy Nuñez is behind it! She’s been in Phoenix for 13 years, and during that time she’s served on the Phoenix Pride Board of Directors, and single-handedly acted as Entertainment Coordinator for AIDS Walk Phoenix, Phoenix Pride and Rainbows Festival. In addition, she works for Arizona United for the Homeland, Valle del Sol and is the karaoke mistress at various clubs.

< Mike Fornelli What can you say about Mike Fornelli that hasn’t been said? A familiar face to everybody, Mike co-owns Scottsdale’s BS West, a staple on the Valley nightlife scene for over 22 years. BS West’s Halloween extravaganza is almost as legendary as he is. Quick to lend a helping hand and sponsor fundraisers for charity, Mike is a friend to all who walk through the doors of his club.

There are no strangers.

Clayton McKee He’s simply “Mr. Everywhere.” Wherever you find “fun,” you’ll find the enthusiastic, tan, Clayton McKee. A resident for 20 years, Clayton has worked at practically every charity event in town. He’s the host for Wet Fridays at Charlie’s, he’s one of the voices of the Phoenix Pride Parade Master of Ceremonies, and raises money for charity with his yearly reunion of the bygone Wink’s cabaret. Clayton works for Edge Studios, and he’s a Virgo. Oh. And he also single, he pointed out.

CAMERINE > HAWTHORNE A native Phoenician, Camerine owns a mortgage firm as well as a bankruptcy firm and online résumé preparation companies.

As a “jack-of-all-trades,” Camerine gets great satisfaction when he can help financially strapped people stay in their homes, erase their debts and start a new career.

He’s on the ball! All this – and he’s single.

TOM AWAI > Born and raised in the Island State of Hawaii, Tom received his Masters in Architecture and Urban Design at ASU in Tempe. In addition to working as Director of Business Development for the architecture firm AECOM Design, Tom is the Vice Chair or the City of Phoenix Planning Commission and served for two years on the Board of Directors for the Southwest Center for HIV/AIDS.

< MURRAY SULLIVAN Insure in sure insurance. For more than 20 years Murray Sullivan has been insuring and assuring the Phoenix GLBT community that they’re taken care of with Farmer’s Insurance. Murray’s an avid snow skier, hiker, tennis player, gym bunny and traveler. He can be seen with his partner, Michael, at any fundraiser or philanthropic event. An identical twin, Murray tells ION, “I guess I’m just an easygoing, happy guy at this point in my life!”

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< TONY FELICE Tony is originally from Maryland and California and Chair of the Greater Phoenix Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and owner and president of Tony Felice PR & Marketing. His career has taken him from the U.S. Capitol, to working with Steven Speilberg’s Manhattan Beach Studios. Tony is passionate about Central Phoenix and local businesses and also sits on the board of Local First Arizona. He is married to Tim McLaughlin and they live in Central Phoenix with their dogs, Harley and Cleo. Tony believes in working hard, not taking himself too seriously and he never leaves his wet towel on the floor.

NATALIA > ACOSTA “She can make a dimpled smile out of a frown. She can even dye your eyes to mach your gown!” Almost! A native of Mexico, Natalia Acosta can make almost anything. She moved to Phoenix 12 years ago, earning a degree in Fashion Design and Merchandising. Natalia’s participated in Scottsdale Fashion Week, and designed a pageant gown for Miss Arizona USA. Natalia’s specialty is gorgeous, one-of-a-kind evening gowns, all designed and handsewn by Natalia herself. She is heavily involved in community outreach and charity events, such as “Women with Cancer.”

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MARC REID > Hailing from the Black Hills of South Dakota, Marc relocated to Phoenix 25 years ago, Marc is a sought after hair stylist. Marc and his partner, Robert Black, have been partnered for 16 wonderful years and he’s the proud father of 7-year-old Reid Robert Ramsay. Marc has been recognized for his never-ending charity and recognized byThe Southwest Center for HIV/AIDS, and coordinating the runway fashion show for “Flourish,” the annual 1Voice Community Center gala at Saks Fifth Avenue.

GAY BOWL X

10 .10 .10

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Photography by Fernando Hernandez of Nightfuse.com Art Direction by Kevin Bushaw Models are Vinny, Taz, Jase, & Jakob from Dickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cabaret

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PHX: HERITAGE SQUARE PARK

rainbows festival

Photos courtesy of November 2010 www.IONAZ.com 81

Vol. 4, Issue 6

NOVEMBER 2010

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL

MTV To Put Eight Strangers in “Really Old World - Sun City, AZ”

OUTRAGEOUS!

NEW YORK CITY, NY New Orleans, Las Vegas, Boston, Denver, Seattle, Brooklyn, San Francisco, Miami, Los Angeles and other great cities across America have all played host to MTVs reality TV enfants terribles who leave disaster in their wake wherever they live.

refusing to handle the cursing, urination, public nudity, drugs, booze and the rivers of vomit these brats bring with them. We’re going a new direction.”

MTV staff is developing “The Really Old World” for the rapidly aging population who first watched the budding network when it premiered in 1981. The revamped show will feature geriatrics in retirement communities and rest homes across America, starting with Sun City, Arizona.

OUTRAGEOUS!

MTV execs have almost exhausted the possibilities of America’s great cities willing to play host to the coming-ofage antics of the legendary true story of “It makes great TV when you see senior ANY RESEMBLANCE TO toTHE IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL seven or eight strangers picked live inTRUTH a citizens living together, bragging about their house, have their lives taped and see what grandchildren, bitching and complaining, happens when people stop being polite and golfing, and occasionally breaking a hip,” starting getting real in “The Real World.” said one MTV exec. “When you compound that the onset of Alzheimer’s, incontinence “We’ve had practically every mayor, or constipation with these folks, it’s city council, aldermen and community riveting.” slam the door in our face,” said one MTV source. “They’re refusing to put Future “Really Old World” host cities up with the hijinx of these monsters. include Boca Raton, Florida and Honolulu, Neighborhoods, bars and nightclubs are Hawaii.

OUTRAGEOUS!

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL

OUTRAGEOUS! “Delaware Spellbound!

Endora for Senator.

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

DOVER, Del. – Election board officials were surprised with the surprise candidacy of Endora, who is running for the United ANY RESEMBLANCE States Senate against nominee Christine O’Donnel, who allegedly has been linked to practicing witchcraft.

belongs to a huge, famous coven.

Endora, who once lived in Salem, Massachusetts, is approximately 850-years-old. directly TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY She ACCIDENTAL influenced the French Revolution, Columbus’ expedition to the New World, and more recently the decline of MySpace. She “I believe that can also cast if Delaware wants a witch in Congress, spells, turning people into monkeys, or they should have one with experience that talking parrots, or putting locks on peoples’ counts. Not some silly girl’s hocus-pocus mouth. Endora can also magically teleport about being pro-business, controlling herself place to place ACCIDENTAL with a really cool ANY RESEMBLANCE TOTO THE TRUTH IS from TRAGICALLY ANY RESEMBLANCE THE TRUTH TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL government spending and anti-masturbation harp-likeISsound.

Her daughter is Samantha campaigns.” O’Donnel appeared on MTV Stevens, who is also a witch, and lives with in the 90s where she spoke out against her husband, Darren, and daughter, Tabitha, autoeroticism. somewhere outside of New York City. Maybe New Jersey, Connecticut, or Westchester O’Donnel, who promises to “fight for County.

America’s economy” appeared on a television show in 1999 where she admitted Endora’s election campaign is being managed she “dabbled in witchcraft” although she by the prestigious advertising firm of claims never belonged to a coven. Endora McMahon & Tate.

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

OUTRAGEOUS!

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OUTRAGEOUS! “Sexting” Class Proves Popular

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL SANTA BARBARA, Calif. – “R u wearing NE thing?” “What R U N2?”

The fast paced, demanding world of technology today requires more from programmers and end-use consumers today.

A variety of applications, or “apps” for smart phones helping subscribers with a variety of tasks, such as navigating subway systems, or for entertainment, like the card games, are all available.

analysis, and economic statistics, the Board of Regents also believe that these young people need to know if they’re going to get nailed tonight or sometime soon.”

OUTRAGEOUS!

Young men and women are taught to become adept with a QWERTY keyboard function, and the language of “sexting,” a sort of intricate shorthand describing their libido, prowess, and what they would do if they were there.

ANYRESEMBLANCE RESEMBLANCETO TOTHE THETRUTH TRUTH TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL ANY IS IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL But the it all starts with higher education.

The University of California at Santa Barbara will be offering the class, “Sexting, 101” next spring as an undergraduate level course, offering three credit hours.

“We have carefully trained scholars and teaching assistants who work with the students helping them improve their speed, technique, and S.Q. That’s ‘Sexiness Quotient,’” said one professor.

“This is so important to our young people today,” said one anonymous administrator of curriculum. “In addition to learning organic chemistry, or quantitative business

The popular course will soon be implemented at M.I.T., Yale, Harvard, and other state universities nationwide.

OUTRAGEOUS!

www.IONAZ.comACCIDENTAL November 2010 ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY

REID PARK - TUCSON

Pride in the desert

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IONTUCSON

CLUBS, RESTAURANTS, AND NIGHTLIFE 1

Ain’t Nobody’s Biz

2900 E. Broadway

(520) 318-4838

2

Colors

5305 E. Speedway

(520) 323-1840

3

Howl at the Moon

915 W. Prince Rd.

(520) 293-7339

4

IBT’s

616 N. 4th Ave.

(520) 882-3053

5

Venture-N

1239 N. 6th Ave.

(520) 882-8224

6

Woody’s

3710 N. Oracle Rd.

(520) 292-6702

ACCOMODATIONS & LODGING 1

Doubletree Hotel at Reid Park

445 S. Alvernon Way

(520) 881-4200

2

Embassy Suites

5335 E. Broadway Blvd.

(520) 745-2700

3

La Posada Lodge and Casitas

5900 N. Oracle Rd.

(520) 887-4800

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IONPHOENIX 1.

Amsterdam Amsterdam

718N.N.Central Central Ave. Phoenix 718 Ave.--Downtown Downtown PHX

(602)258-6122 258-6122 (602)

2.

Apollo’s Apollo’s

5749N. N.7th 7th St. 5749 St.- -Phoenix Phoenix

(602)277-9373 277-9373 (602)

3.

Bar 1

Bar 1

3702 N. 16th St. - Phoenix

3708 N. 16th St. - Phoenix

(602) 266-9001

4.

NEW: Bliss / Rebar

5.

BS West

6.

Bunkhouse

4428 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 200-9154

7.

Cash Inn

2140 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 244-9943

8.

Charlie’s

727 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 265-0224

9.

Cherry Bar The Chute Men’s Club

1028 IndianSchool School - Phoenix (602) 1440E. E Indian Rd.Rd. - Phoenix (602)277-7729 234-1654

BS West

Bunkhouse Cash Inn

Charlie’s

Cherry Bar

Cherry Lounge

7125 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

901 N. 4th St. - Phoenix 4428 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

7125 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale 2140 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix 727 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix 1028 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 266-9001 (480) 945-9028

(602) 795-1792 (602) 200-9154

(480) 945-9028 (602) 244-9943

(602) 265-0224

(602) 277-7729

Every Thursday starting January 11th - Mill Ave. in Tempe

Sutra 10. Club Clarendon Hotel

2424 E. Thomas 401 W. ClarendonRd. Ave.--Phoenix Phoenix

(602) (602)955-9805 CLARENDON

Club Vibe 7th 11. Cruisin’

Cruisin’ Cabaret 7th 12. Dick’s

3031N. E. 7th Indian Rd. - Phoenix 3702 St.School - Phoenix

(602)212-9888 224-9977 (602)

3702E. N.Illini 7th St.Rd. - Phoenix 3432 - Phoenix

(602)274-DICK 212-9888 (602)

13.

3432SE.Black Illini Rd. - Phoenix 1517 Canyon Hwy - Phoenix

Dick’sMen’s Cabaret FLEX Club The Door

14. Forbidden Forbidden

15. icepics videobar Homme

1126 N. Scottsdale Rd. - Tempe

6820 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale 6820 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

3108 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix 138 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 271-9011 274-DICK (602) (480) 967-DOOR

forbiddenaz.com forbiddenaz.com

(602) 267-8707 (602) 266-0875

16. Karamba

1724 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

17. Kobalt

3110 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 264-5307

18. NEW! Lush Lounge

2050 N. Alma School - Chandler

(480) 857-9444

Towne 19. Nu Kobalt

5002 E Van Buren St. - Phoenix‎

(602) 267-9959

20. OZ OZ

1804 Home - Phoenix (602) 1804W. W. Bethany Bethany Home Rd.Rd. - Phoenix (602)242-5114 242-5114

icepics videobar Incognito Karamba

3108 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix 2424 E. Thomas Rd. - Phoenix

1724 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix 3110 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 254-0231 (602) 267-8707

(602) 955-9805 (602) 254-0231 (602) 264-5307

W.E.Osborn Rd.- -Phoenix Phoenix 21. Paradise Plazma Adult Boutique 130 1560 Osborn Rd.

(602) (602)266-5869 266-0477

Pumphouse II 22. Plazma

4132E. E.Osborn McDowell Rd.- -Phoenix Phoenix 1560 Rd.

(602)266-0477 275-3509 (602)

Retro Bar II 23. Pumphouse

3114E.E.McDowell Cactus Rd. Rd. - Phoenix 4132 - Phoenix

(602)275-3509 493-0355 (602)

The Rock Cactus 24. Rainbow

4129 N. Ave.Creek - Phoenix 15615 N.7th Cave Rd. - Phoenix

(602)971-1086 248-8559 (602)

25. The Rock Rainbow Cactus 26. Roscoe’s

4129 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

Roscoe’s

27

Velocity

Velocity Wild Card

28. Z Girl Club Z Girl Club

4531 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

15615 N. Cave Creek Rd. - Phoenix

4531 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

2303 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

2303 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix 801 N. Arizona Ave. - Chandler

4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix 4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 285-0833

(602) 248-8559 (602) 867-2463

(602) 285-0833 (602) 956-2885

(602) 956-2885 (480) 857-3088

(602) 265-3233 (602) 265-3233

November 2010 www.IONAZ.com 91

IONBAR GUIDE PHOENIX

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

Apollo’s

Frat Party 9pm 50¢ domestic drafts

$1 Bud Light Drafts 2-8p Karaoke 9pm

$1 Bud Light Drafts 2-8p Male Strippers 10:30pm

Bar 1

Friday Happy Hour 4-7p 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Saturday $2 dom bottle 6-9p 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

$2 Brown Bagged Beer 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Happier Hour 2-4-1 well $5 martinis-$5 wine-$3 all beer

Brunch 10am-2pm $4 Bloody $3 glass or $10 mimosas pitch

Sunday Funday 2-7pm 2-4-1 well / $10 buckets of beer

BS West

FUBAR with Elements 9:45p $5 you call it drink & $3 beers

2-4-1 everything all night Go-go dancers - A new tradition

Karaoke 9pm $1 Miller Lite drafts

Charlie’s

$3 pitchers/2-4-1 well/dom 2-7p $1 Happy Hour 7-9p/Afterhours

$3 pitch./2-4-1 well/dom 12-7p $1 Happy Hour 7-9p/Afterhours

Volleyball 4-7pm, NEW 3-4-1 $3 Long Islands, $3 pitchers

Cherry Bar

2-4-1 You Call It! 5pm - close

2-4-1 You Call It! 5pm - close

NFL Tailgate Brunch 10a-2p $5 Kill-a-Keg w/ Lady Christian

Cruisn’ 7th

TGIF - Devina 10:30 pm

AZ Leathermen Strippers 4:3 New Show Hostess Mia Adams

Morning Madness 1st & 3rd Su Sunday Funnies 2nd Sunday

Dick’s Cabaret

2-4-1 VIP Dances 7pm ‘til 9pm

Off the Hook Tons of Prizes & Giveaways

2-4-1 Cover Charge, Dances & VIP Wristbands

$3 Pomegranate Presses

$3 Bottle Beer & Tequila Shots

$3 Brunch Drinks 50% off bottles of wine

Forbidden

The Men of Forbidden 10pm

The Barbra Seville Show DJ - Dancing Night Club

Happy Hour 4-9pm

icepics

MEAT - Hot Go Go Dancers $2.50 dom / $3 well / $4 Lg Isl.

80s Happy Hour The Follies 10pm

Show Tunes - Happy Hour 2pm-8pm

R NEW! Bliss / Rebar

R FEZ

NEW: Roscoe’s 10:00p- 1:00a

The Leathermen

Cruisin’ 7th | Plazma 4:30p - 7:00p | 10:30p - 1:30p

The Sexy Lea

Fridays Karaoke @ 9pm Lunch Specials / Happy Hour

Mya McKenzie’s Drag Show Starting at 10pm

Lunch Specials / Happy Hour ALL DAY!

Fridays $4 Pitchers

Saturdays $4 Pitchers

Sundays with Galilea $3 pitchers

R Maizie’s

Happy Hour 3-6pm Everyday

Happy Hour Brunch 9a-2p 3-6pm Everyday

Brunch All Day

R Mi Patio

Fridays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Saturdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Sundays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

R Roscoe’s*

NEW: The Leathermen!

Great Happy Hour

All Star Grill Opens at 11am

NFL Sunday Party $8 Long Island Pitchers

R Switch

Fridays Open from 11am-Midnight

Saturday Open from 11am-Midnight

Sundays Open from 11am-Midnight

R Ticoz

Fridays Open from 11am-Midnight

Saturday $1 brunch drinks Open from 11am-Midnight

Sundays $1 brunch drinks Open from 11am-Midnight

R NEW: Lush Lounge Karamba

R

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FULL MENU

* LIMITED MENU/TIMES

www.IONAZ.com November 2010

FREE PROJECT HARD HAT CONDOMS

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

Drag Bingo 2 for 1 U Call-It Open-Close

‘Tini Tuesdays 2-4-1 Call Martinis Open-Close

Happy Hour All day / All night

Karaoke 9:30pm

Monday $1 Bud Lt. Drft 4-cl.

10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

KAROKE $2.50 wel, dom 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

$1 OFF in your undies/leather 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Thursday 2-4-1 U Call It 10a- cl 10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft

Monster Mondays 2-4-1 well Plate of apps + bottle wine $20

Twofer Tuesdays 2 burgers/fries/2 dom beer $20

2-4-1 Everything 9pl-close (excludes shots)

Happy Hour 2-4-1 well $5 martinis-$5 wine-$3 all beer

W.H.O.R.E. Service Industry $2 dom $3 well $4 bombers

Community Benefit/Fundraiser Book you event @ bswest.com

2-4-1 All Day and All Night A valley tradion!

Karaoke 9pm $2 drafts

Underwear Party 8-cl 1/2 price 2-8p $3 pitch./2-4-2 well/dom 2-8pm $3 pitch. 2-4-1 well/dom 8p-Close 2-4-1 cocktails/dom

2-8p $3 pitch./2-4-1 well/dom 8p-close $3 Pinnacle

2-4-1 All Day! Cocktails and beer

Happy Hour 3-8pm Karaoke 9p-close

Happy Hour 3-8pm Reverse Happy Hour 11pm-cl

2-4-1 You Call It! ALL DAY / ALL NIGHT

Happy Hour 3-8pm $5 Martinis 8pm-close

Karaoke 9pm

Steppin’ Out Judy & TC 9pm

AZ Leathermen Strippers 10pm

2-4-1 Cover Charge, Dances, VIP Wristbands

Amateur Night Starts at 10pm

S.I.N. Bring Your Dancer ID and get VIP Pricing

Hot Studs All Night Long $5.00 Off with VIP Keychain

$3 Burgers $3 Margaritas

‘tini Tuesdays $3 Martinis

$20 Any Bottle of Wine and small plate

$3 G Spots

Happy Hour 4-9pm

Happy Hour & Grill untill 9pm 2-4-1 untill close

Open Wide Drag Reveiw 9pm

A Valley Tradition: Inferno 18 and over

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL 2-4-1 beer/well during game!

2-4-1 Wells & Beers All day and night

Karaoke 9pm-close

2-4-1 in undies beer/well 9p-cl $3 Three Olives Thursdays

athermen perform at Roscoe’s, Cruisin’ 7th and Plazma!

Cruisin’ 7th 10:30p - 12:30p

Mondays 40¢ Wings during football

2-4-1 well & dom drafts Lunch Specials / Happy Hour

Drag Bingo @ 9pm Lunch Specials / Happy Hour

Texas Hold’em Poker 7pm and 10pm

Closed

Tuesday with Grecias $2 Drinks All Night

Wednesdays with Diamond $2 Drinks All Night

Thursdays with Ruby & Tyra $2 drinks all night

$3 Bistro Burgers $10.00 off of all Bottled Wines

Wednesday BBQ Short Ribs Tuesday Night Fish & Chips Selected Beers $3 Starts @ 5pm Selected Beers $3 Starts @ 5pm

Happy Hour 3-6pm Everyday

Mondays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Tuesdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Wednesdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Thursdays $1.25 Margaritas on the rocks

Monday Pool Tournament

2 for Tuesdays 2-4-1 drinks all day

Wednesday All Day Happy Hour

Thursdays 2-4-1 7pm

Mondays Open from 11am-Midnight

Tuesdays Open from 11am-Midnight

Wednesdays Open from 11am-Midnight

Thursdays Open from 11am-Midnight

Mondays Open from 11am-Midnight

Tuesdays 11am-Midnight

Wednesdays 11am-Midnight

Thursdays 11am-Midnight

ION ARIZONA

November 2010

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94

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by Addison DeWitt

A

h, dear readers. It’s no secret now, the bloom is off the rose! After ten years My Florist Café closed it’s doors abruptly early this month amid a whirlwind of gossip.

And to think, I had to hear about it second hand via text messaging! I must be losing my touch. Still, we have My Florist to thank for helping blaze the trail by making Central Phoenix a destination as a GLBT friendly businesses.

But it’s gratifying to know that 1Voice Community Center is alive and well! “Flourish,” The annual gala featuring a stunning fashion show was presented at Saks Fifth Ave. at Biltmore Fancy Park. Picture it: an open bar, hors d’oeuvres, and male models in their skimpy underwear. That alone was worth the price of admission!

Imagine my shock and surprise when I’d polished off my 18th plate of Firecracker Shrimp to discover that the cocktail napkin I was wiping my greasy little fingers on was actually an expensive Giorgio Armani

culotte de femme – that’s what the French call “knickers.” Oopsies!

All the glamoraries of GLBT society (and our supporters!) were on hand the event hosted by The Honorable Neil Giuliano and Rep. Krysten Sinema.

I can never get enough of el hombre guapo, Oscar de la Salas, nor his beau Gary Jackson (who’s one of the best kissers in town, I always like to point out. I know.)

Couture kingpin David Sheflin, wearing a jacket custom made for Sir Elton John arrived with the lovely Cathyanne Cockrill of Vintage Modern (pictured below, left). They squired about venerable fashion designer Morton Myles.

I nearly pushed the fabulous Robert Black down the escalator for his circa 1980s pair of extra fancy men’s tuxedo pumps. From France. (Robert & pumps pictured above.)

Not to be outdone, the handsome hearththrob Aaron Carter (no, not the tween singer. This one’s waaaay hotter!) wore an impossibly high pair of lady’s

November 2010

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by Addison DeWitt

opentoed heels while he sported a fetching men’s suit. Don’t you love finding new ways to be fashionable?

The fashion show was expertly coordinated by the tireless volunteer, Marc Reid. Thanks to the success of the event, 1Voice Executive Director Ernesto Ortiz was all smiles.

And did I mention that they had boys on the runway in their underwear? I haven’t been that excited since I first ... well, let’s just say in a very long time.

(Hot man in underwear pictured below, if you couldn’t tell.)

AIDS Walk Phoenix raised a whopping $340,000 thanks to everybody’s help.

Once again, Barbra Seville’s Wonderful 100 was the top fundraising team, raising $17,104. That buys a lot of false eyelashes and pantyhose, where I come from, kiddos.

Thanks, Babs!

“Fabulous” is a word that I bandy around quite a bit in this column.

But ION’s Party Penguin of the Month really is fabulous. It’s none other than the – yes, I’ll say it again – fabulous Alfredo “Sauce” Guardio. The beloved bartender from Charlie’s is now retired from slingin’ gin while he’s in school, but he volunteered for Barbra Seville’s team for AIDS Walk Phoenix and he’s a favorite everywhere he goes. He’s certainly one of mine. And, no, I don’t say that about everybody!

Tell Addison all kinds of fabulous gossip or pictures of you in your underwear! Email him at RumorHound@aol.com

96

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is priceless. Don’t tell a Pisces what it is. Do tell a Libra.

Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20

“Pride cometh before a fall.” But that doesn’t mean you can’t break into a chorus of “Proud Mary” once in a while if the mood strikes you.

You have plenty to be proud of this month.

Don’t get too carried away with it, but do get too carried away with a Capricorn.

Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20

You’re likely to be involved with a game of Naked Twister or Strip Poker, or something that involves nudity this month. Be careful it’s not a Body Cavity Search with the Phoenix Police. There’s a Scorpio out there who wants to explore your nudity.

Gemini May 21 - June 21

You know that sense of urgency you’ve been feeling? Kinda like when you have to pee really bad? Pay attention to it. Quit procrasturbating. There’s something you need to take care of. Now. Hurry! Otherwise it’ll run down your leg and people will laugh.

Cancer June 22 - July 22

You have a certain charm that will have people eating out of your hand this month.

Using a kind word and a compliment will go further than the Skittles you’re using as bait. A Libra will give you anything you want.

Within reason. But hang on to those Skittles.

Leo July 23 - Aug. 22

The days are getting shorter. And so is your temper, lately. Relax. Take a deep breath.

Watch an old Marx Brothers movie and laugh. Get rid of the Grumpies and you’ll feel better. That sexy smile will attract a Gemini and a Capricorn.

Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22

Something you lost will be found this month.

It won’t be your virginity, but I guarantee that it’s something that’ll delight and thrill you. It has no real worth, but the sentimental value 98

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November 2010

Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22

Your free-wheeling spending may send you to the poorhouse. Keep your purse strings a little tighter and you’ll have a little mad money for the Holidays. Beware of an Aquarius who might swindle you.

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23

It’s more important than ever to look both ways before you cross this month. Before you cross the street, or cross your “t”s or with the cross you carry in life. Anything. Your birthday will reward you for your diligence. So will a cute Leo.

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23 You have an itch to scratch in a certain special place. Relax! You don’t need penicillin! But you do need a little TLC. Imagine a bottle of wine, a candlelit dinner for two. Or maybe even three. Heck, it’s your birthday! Get a little crazy! We won’t tell. But a Scorpio might.

Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20

You’re sincerity is touching. Really, it is. You seriously have some good Karma that’s been accumulating and this month expect a big payoff. It’s gonna be a whopper! It may be an emotional reward, or it might involve cash.

Remember to share.

Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

Everybody tried to warn you, but, no, you did it anyway. Your headstrong ways could land you in some hot water if you’re not careful.

But your devil-may-care attitude will turn it into a jacuzzi party. So invite a Sagittarius, a Pisces and a Virgo to join you.

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

You’re always one for solidarity. Your friends depend on you for that. But make sure your alliances are genuine and don’t affect your credibility. Your reputation soars. A Cancer is relying on you.

November 2010 www.IONAZ.com 99