10A
Federation Star
COMMENTARY
June 2022
Don’t just exist, count! Rabbi Howard S. Herman DD
T
his month, we celebrate the Jewish festival of Shavuot, the Feast of Weeks. It is exactly seven weeks between the second night of Passover and Shavuot and it is during this period of time that we count the omer. It is a quasi-period of mourning, when traditional Jewish custom limits activities that bring joy like going to get haircuts, shaving, listening to instrumental music, and attending weddings, parties and dinners with dancing. Since we are currently in the period of sfirat haomer, the counting of the omer, and counting is in our collective conscience, anyway, I wanted to spend some time with you, discussing something important that counts for Jews. We have a tradition in Judaism termed Derech Eretz. The phrase literally means “way of the land” or “correct conduct” and is roughly translated by we moderns as “manners.” In its most traditional meaning, it covers the basic norms of decent human behavior and interaction, which the Torah mandates but which, also, in a sense, proceeds Torah in forming the human personality — thus the maxim, “Derech Eretz comes before Torah.”
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In the midrash, Vayikrah Rabbah (9:3,) we are taught Rabbi Ismael, the son of Rav Nachman, said Derech Eretz proceeds Torah by 26 generations, since it is written “and to guard the way to the Tree of Life” (Gen 3). The “way” is the Derech Eretz and only after that comes the “Tree of Life,” which is Torah. How can this happen? By thinking through your actions and choices and measuring yourself up to the place you find yourself in, you can learn the communal expectations to help create a more just society. When you realize Derech Eretz comes before Torah, it gives responsibility to everyone to act the right way and do the right thing. Derech Eretz can be many things, but I believe that it can be summed up in a few human values — morality, honesty, humility, modesty, community and kindness. By adopting these watchwords as patterns to guide our lives, we are not only being mindful of our characters but, at the same time, we are being mindful of our social and emotional lives as well. We sometimes characterize this as “being a mensch” or menschlichkeit. Fortunately, proper living requires neither head covering nor a commitment to learn in a religious program. Rather, Jewish virtue mandates that we remove ourselves from the attitude of “them” and “us” or moreso of “you” and “me.” We need to try to feel affection for all choice makers and try to understand that Jews have always been, and will always be,
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“us” and “us.” In short, each and every human is precious, each and every human deserves honor, and each and every life is sacred. In spite of the personal and collective legitimization of modern secular mores, most of us still struggle to bring to light an attitude that dispenses with granting ourselves the right to judge the relative merit of others. In our own communities, Jewish and otherwise, it is vital to treat each other with respect, deference and value. We shouldn’t spread gossip about others. We shouldn’t speak brusquely to someone else, even in the face of them doing it to us. If we have any hope of changing
the world, we have to start by being that change ourselves. Michael Jackson wrote a song called “Man in the Mirror,” emphasizing changing ourselves. The refrain of the song goes, “I’m starting with the man in the mirror, I’m asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer, if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change.” Take a hard look at yourself and ask, “What can I do in my relationships with others to exemplify change?” Once you do, it will really be something that counts. Shalom Uvracha. Rabbi Howard S. Herman DD serves at Naples Jewish Congregation.
The challenge of “been there, done that” Rabbi Ammos Chorny
R
achel Carson wrote, “If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.” Have you ever watched the wonder on a child’s face as you read the same story for what may be the 20th, 50th or 100th time? Have you found yourself thinking, “Go to sleep already!” or “Not this again!” or “I’m going to go crazy if I am asked to read it again tonight!” What is happening for the child that is not happening for you? What is the child gaining out of this constant rereading that you are not? I think that the secret lies in two aspects of the child’s approach to the story — Children are comforted by things that are constant in their life, and, at the same time, are ready to believe that each rereading is a new experience that will reveal new things. Adults often find it difficult to join the children in the rereading of stories because of their “been there, done that” approach to life. We often feel that rereading the same stories, reseeing the same movies, revisiting the same places, reexperiencing the same activities can be a waste of time because there are so many stories we have not read, movies we have not seen, places we have not visited and activities we have not experienced. The “been there, done that” approach dismisses the importance of the comfort that constants add to our lives. Yet, even as adults, they remain important. Constants help us know where we are and
how we can go on, where we need to go, and how to get back again when we need to return. The common attitude of “been there, done that” to life makes it difficult to develop depth in appreciation of a story, a movie, a place, an experience or anything else. We know that viewing a work of art over and over again leads to its greater appreciation. The reviewing of the art allows us the opportunity to see more detail; to understand how the details are integrated into the whole; how, at different times, the light affects how we perceive it; and how, based on how we have developed and grown since last we saw it, we now see it in new ways. Jewish tradition recognizes the challenge of “been there, done that.” We are instructed by the tradition that we must recite certain prayers at certain times and that we should always add something new to our prayers. We are told to observe special days in a regular repetitive pattern, and we are commanded to make those days special. The forthcoming festival of Shavuot reminds us of the Revelation at Sinai, when, we are taught, the Torah was transmitted to Moses and to the people of Israel. We read this story year after year. We read the Torah year after year. “Been there, done that” challenges us — we’ve heard this story before, why bother hearing it again? The sages in Pirkei Avot present us with a new challenge: “Ben Bag Bag taught: Study it and review it: You will find everything in it. Scrutinize it, grow old and gray in it, do not depart from it; there is no better portion in life than this.” May we be granted the wisdom to appreciate the constants in our lives, and may we be granted the inspiration and the ability to see the world around us anew every time we open our eyes, our ears and our hearts. Rabbi Ammos Chorny serves at Beth Tikvah.
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