The challenge of “been there, done that”

Rabbi Ammos Chorny

Rachel Carson wrote, “If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.”

Have you ever watched the wonder on a child’s face as you read the same story for what may be the 20th, 50th or 100th time? Have you found yourself thinking, “Go to sleep already!” or “Not this again!” or “I’m going to go crazy if I am asked to read it again tonight!”

What is happening for the child that is not happening for you? What is the child gaining out of this constant rereading that you are not?

I think that the secret lies in two aspects of the child’s approach to the story — Children are comforted by things that are constant in their life, and, at the same time, are ready to believe that each rereading is a new experience that will reveal new things.

Adults often find it difficult to join the children in the rereading of stories because of their “been there, done that” approach to life. We often feel that rereading the same stories, reseeing the same movies, revisiting the same places, reexperiencing the same activities can be a waste of time because there are so many stories we have not read, movies we have not seen, places we have not visited and activities we have not experienced.

The “been there, done that” approach dismisses the importance of the comfort that constants add to our lives. Yet, even as adults, they remain important. Constants help us know where we are and how we can go on, where we need to go, and how to get back again when we need to return. The common attitude of “been there, done that” to life makes it difficult to develop depth in appreciation of a story, a movie, a place, an experience or anything else.

We know that viewing a work of art over and over again leads to its greater appreciation. The reviewing of the art allows us the opportunity to see more detail; to understand how the details are integrated into the whole; how, at different times, the light affects how we perceive it; and how, based on how we have developed and grown since last we saw it, we now see it in new ways.

Jewish tradition recognizes the challenge of “been there, done that.” We are instructed by the tradition that we must recite certain prayers at certain times and that we should always add something new to our prayers. We are told to observe special days in a regular repetitive pattern, and we are commanded to make those days special. The forthcoming festival of Shavuot reminds us of the Revelation at Sinai, when, we are taught, the Torah was transmitted to Moses and to the people of Israel. We read this story year after year. We read the Torah year after year. “Been there, done that” challenges us — we’ve heard this story before, why bother hearing it again?

The sages in Pirkei Avot present us with a new challenge: “Ben Bag Bag taught: Study it and review it: You will find everything in it. Scrutinize it, grow old and gray in it, do not depart from it; there is no better portion in life than this.”

May we be granted the wisdom to appreciate the constants in our lives, and may we be granted the inspiration and the ability to see the world around us anew every time we open our eyes, our ears and our hearts.

Rabbi Ammos Chorny serves at Beth Tikvah.