Live Like Mandy: A Dog's Wisdom

Live Like Mandy: A Dog’s Wisdom

Deborah K. Goldfarb | Interim CEO, Jewish Long Beach

At the beginning of June, I was honored to be recognized by the National Council of Jewish Women Long Beach & West Orange County (NCJW) with the Hannah G. Solomon Award. Thank you to the leadership of NCJW and to all who attended and sent contributions in my honor. The work of NCJW to support of the welfare of women, children and families is vital to our community. I made the following remarks that day.

Last summer Mark and I drove to Glacier National Park with our dog Mandy.

During the trip we each read John Steinbecks’ famous book, Travels with Charley, And why not! Steinbeck, the famous American writer, had taken his dog on a long trip to understand America and his own life. So, as an homage to both Steinbeck and Charley, I am taking a page out of my husband’s playbook, as he likes to talk about our dog Mandy in his sermons.

On his trip Steinbeck found that he had concerns about much of the “new America” he saw. And I would dare to say that many of us have concerns about the America we are living in today, over 60 years later. In thinking about these concerns, I have been reflecting on how we find meaning, and fulfill our beliefs, in the social justice work we do as individuals and as a community.

Over my 30 year career in service to the Jewish people I have been driven by the idea that we all can, as Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change that we wish to see in the world”, as well as the idea that the Jewish community has a major role to play in repairing our often-broken world. Likewise, NCJW represents this ideal, and I praise you all for your untiring efforts to effect social action for women, children and families.

Our concerns for the world are many: We have faced terrorism and the brutal, inhumane torture of women during the Hamas insurrection.

We also face

- The spiraling up of Antisemitism;

- Worldwide decline of liberal democracies;

- Political unrest;

- An unhealthy focus on populism, nationalism, and isolationism;

- A generalized move away from the Enlightenment era ideals that helped shape our own democracy and the America Jewish Community;

- And worst of all the ongoing War between Israel and Hamas.

The past 8 months have been very stressful for those who care about Israel’s right to exist. How do we face that anguish which has brought to a head many of these issues. How do we continue the work while preserving ourselves?

I’d like to think that I have made a difference in this journey to a better world and that each of you in this room, so many of whom I have worked with for the past 20 years, has done so as well. For many of us, the fight feels so difficult now, as we can continue to pursue Tikkun Olam together. I personally feel that the work I am doing now, coming back to serve the community for a 3rd time, is among the most important work of my lifetime, but also tiring.

As an antidote to the challenge of advocating in a difficult time, I would suggest that we “Live like Mandy”. The following principles are based on our 11 years of living with this very smart dog (a lot like Steinbeck’s Charley).

Principle # 1: USE PASSION TO ENERGIZE OUR EFFORTS

Find a passion and live it.

Now Mandy has a particular passion for squirrels, and I don’t suggest that we follow her path of running and barking furiously at every squirrel that dares to traverse the fence in our backyard, but we can follow her example of the energy she puts into her passion.

Principle #2: KEEP LOVE AT THE FOREFRONT

Seek opportunities to use love in each of our encounters on a daily basis.

For Mandy, this means wagging enthusiastically when we come home and sleeping in the middle of our bed. For each of us love can mean making connections and keeping open minds in our encounters, especially with those who are different than us.

Principle #3 TAKE NAPS

We need to be easy on ourselves. For Mandy, this means frequent naps. For Each of us, this means using our passion to make the world a better place in our own small corner of the world. I don’t feel I have made all of the change in the world that I would like to see, so I like to follow the advice from Pirke Avot that says that while we are all required to do the work, we are not obligated to complete the work, as carrying responsibility for our entire society is too big for any one person.

Principle #4 TAKE LONG WALKS

Remember, we do not walk alone, we walk in community.

For Mandy, few things are more important than long daily walks. But our time together on this long walk is important.

Principle #5 BE A LOYAL MEMBER OF THE PACK

Make Social connections.

Psychology tells us that one of the most important factors in aging gracefully and weathering the societal challenges we face is connecting with others. Mandy follows this aphorism regularly: Even though she seldom sees our daughter she never forgets her, and enthusiastically starts back where they left off, even if it has been months since they’ve seen each other. Family, friends and community connections are among the most important ways that we can renew our energy to make a difference in the world.

Thank you to every one of you here today who have worked alongside me to make a difference. And I am so honored to have my family here with me today. My oldest daughter Arielle (and her husband Kc who is here in spirit); My middle son Benjamin, my youngest son Micah and his beautiful partner Sydney. And of course, my husband of 42 years, Mark. Each of you has taught me so much. You preserve and inspire me. I am so proud to be a part of your Pack.

And to my close friend and colleague of many years, Sharon, thank you for always supporting me and boldly living your own beliefs. Thank you as well to my many other colleagues with whom I would not be able to complete the work I do.

Thank you, NCJW, for all your work and for considering me among the many prestigious honorees of the Hannah G. Solomon Award. And a special thank you to the award committee for the kindness with which you made sure this was a very meaningful event. Congratulations to incoming president Dr. Lisa Raufman and all the new officers and board.

I am very humbled.

May we all continue to gain courage and strength as we confirm our beliefs through our work to make the world a better place.