TJH You gotta be
kidding
A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.” The man consults his portable GPS and replies, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.” She rolls her eyes and says, “You must be a Republican!” “I am,” replies the man. “How did you know?” “Well,” answers the balloonist, “everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’re not much help to me.” The man smiles and responds, “You must be a Democrat.” “I am,” replies the balloonist. “How did you know?” “Well,” says the man, “You don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it’s my fault.”
Centerfold Political Speak who Said It? 1. 2.
The future will be better tomorrow.
I may not have been the greatest president, but I’ve had the most fun eight years.
3.
I am only an average man but, by George, I work harder at it than the average man.
4. 5. 6.
If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be turning over in his grave.
Let’s not talk so much about vice. I’m against vice in any form.
I am not one who — who flamboyantly believes in throwing a lot of words around.
7.
If you don’t mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream.
8. 9.
You don’t know how to lie. If you can’t lie, you’ll never go anywhere.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency – even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.
A. George W. Bush B. Ronald Reagan C. Teddy Roosevelt D. Richard Nixon E. Gerald Ford F. Barry Goldwater G. George Bush, Sr. H. Bill Clinton I. John Kennedy J. Dan Quale K. Joe Biden L. Abraham Lincoln
10.
So long as I’m the president, my measure of success is victory – and success.
11.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
12.
Look, John’s last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be…a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs.
6-G 7-F 8-D 9-B 10-A 11- L 12-K
Answer to Riddle: Donald J. Trump
1.
AUGUST 20, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Answer Key 1-J 2-H 3-C 4-E 5-I
54 30
