The Jewish Home | MAY 26, 2022
110
teen talk
by by Mrs. Mrs. c. c. Isbee Isbee
Dear Teen Talk,
Teen Talk ,
a new colum n in TJH, is ge ared towards th e teens in our com munity. A nswered b rotating ro ya ster of tea chers, reb clinicians beim, , and peers (!), teens w hearing a ill be nswers to many que stions they had percolatin g in their minds and wishe d they ha d the answ ers for.
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OctOber 29, 2015 | the Jewish Home
We always had a home computer for my family to use. A few months ago, my parents bought an iPad for us, as a supplement, since the home computer is often taken up by me or my siblings for school assignments, email correspondence, or the internet. We have a filter on the computer and designated timeframes, as well, so that we don’t abuse our time on it. My parents are reasonable and very strict at the same time about our computer usage. Our iPad has the same restrictions, except for one difference: Instagram. At first, I glanced at it for a few seconds. Now, I’m enthralled with it. I could look at Instagram for my whole designated timeframe. Looking at pictures and watching videos of other people’s lives is very alluring for me. Seeing where they spend their family vacations or the clothing or jewelry they purchase gives me some sort of high. Recognizing who they pose with in the pictures keeps me very engaged. I just want to see more, more, and more. I actually prefer perusing Instagram over surfing the internet! The problem is that I realize I get moody after I go off. I also notice that I get jealous of the people that post their goods and experiences. Recently, on Chol Hamoed Pesach, I came to the realization that it’s truly problematic for me. I had a beautiful first days. We hosted my cousins from out of town for yom tov. We also had other guests join us for the sedarim. On the first day of chol hamoed, my family went bowling and had so much fun just being together. That night, I went on Instagram and saw firsthand all the amazing activities people were doing during their vacations. Their experiences looked so much better than mine. I am embarrassed to say this, but I became crabby to my cousins. I resented that we were so busy hosting and feeding them. I secretly wished I could have done something more dynamic than helping my parents cook and clean and giving up my bed. I know the only way to deal with this problem is to stop or even delete Instagram. I just can’t. I’m addicted. Is there something else I can do to combat this problem? I would appreciate an honest and timely response. Thank you, Miri
D
ear Miri, Not many teens would admit, let alone recognize that this is a problem. Unfortunately, what you are facing is a sign of our times. Adolescents and adults, alike, struggle with this issue. In January 1986, I traveled to California with my family for a week. We were so excited to experience the recording of a TV show as part of the studio audience. The experience for me was very different than had I
watched it on a television. There were many tapings to sit through till the performance was deemed perfect. The studio was dark and dingy surrounded by pipes and wires, while the stage was much smaller than I imagined it to be. Furthermore, once I sat through the filming, I wasn’t even interested in watching it a few months later, as it was a most tedious event for me to
go through. This is a “mashal” to what Instagram really is. What you see on the screen is very different to what is truly happening. You have no idea what is going on “behind the scenes.” They’re only posting the glamourous segments of their lives, not the difficult parts. In this day and age, anyone can “doctor-up” any photo or video to the point of making something ugly into
