Parent Connection Conference In October, the Issaquah Schools Foundation sponsored an interactive Parent Connect conference on youth mental health & wellbeing. It offered breakout topics that families may face with their children now or in the future and included local experts. The conference gave parents a better understanding of the resources available in our community. Please check out some of the session highlights from the conference below:
Parent University: Strengthening the Family Unit This session was presented by Lisa Koenigsberg Roshon, the workshop developer and certified facilitator of Parent University, and Kylee Mudrovich, certified facilitator of Parent University. Parent University offers 10-week workshops for parents and guardians called Parent Project, with 2 hours each session and a total of 20 course hours. It not only teaches parents content/ lecture-based information, but also let parents work with their support group every week to learn concepts, techniques, and ideas for supporting children and addressing destructive behaviors. This program is FREE to the parents, and the course materials are provided by the Issaquah School District. Parent University is more than one program; it focuses on developing supportive home environments to support families struggling with destructive adolescent behavior. It teaches parents the skills to develop structure and predictability in the home, address drug and alcohol use, improve school attendance, and etc. Parent Project Weekly Units Overview: ǧ Unit 1: Understanding our children. The foundation where we begin the workshop. ǧ Unit 2: Addressing problem behavior with your child. ǧ Unit 3: Active supervision and structure in regard to peer relationships, social media, technology. ǧ Unit 4: Improving school attendance and performance. ǧ Unit 5: Addressing drug use/substance abuse, identification, prevention, and intervention. ǧ Unit 6: Addressing out of control behaviors. ǧ Unit 7: Developing person action plans. ǧ Unit 8: Finding help and support. ǧ Unit 9: Developing healthy relationships and peer influences. ǧ Unit 10: Addresses the dynamics of change and how parents can visualize success. The session in the Parent Connection Conference is a brief snapshot of their Unit 1 workshop to provide parents with some important concepts that can strengthen the family dynamic in the home.
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Whether a toddler or a teenager, the single most important parenting tool is Love and Affection. It’s the key through all of parenthood. Parenting is considered the greatest form of love, requiring sacrifice and guidance. Adolescents, despite their sometimes-challenging behavior, still crave love and attention. If people think toddlers require the most attention, prepubescent and adolescent children possibly need even
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more love and affection. Love and affection are paramount in parenting, especially for strong-willed and out-of-control children, who benefit from open displays of love. While acknowledging that love alone may not entirely alter negative behavior, it serves as the foundation which the parent must start with. An example is, “I love you more than you can possibly understand. I would do anything to keep you safe. That is why you are grounded for the next three days.” Express deep love preceding a consequence. This reinforces the idea that love and safety are central concerns in parenting, even in disciplinary situations.
Three Most Effective Methods for parents to show love to their children: •
Verbal “I love you”: Verbal Affirmation to express love through words is a powerful method. Verbally say "I love you" to your children daily, multiple times if possible. Whether it's during drop-offs, phone calls, or bedtime, the repetition of these words is emphasized for better impact.
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Physical affection; touches, hugs, etc.: physical touch is a method of demonstrating love. Actions like hugs, pats on the back, kisses on the forehead, arm around the shoulders, or a simple squeeze of the hand are encouraged. There’s the misconception that as children grow into adolescence, parents need to reduce physical affection. This is not correct. Teenagers still need and appreciate physical love.
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Written “I love you”: Expressing love through written means. Sending text messages, leaving notes in lunchboxes or on bathroom mirrors, and incorporating love into birthday cards and sticky notes are also recommended. The idea is to communicate love through the written word in various forms and locations where the child will notice it.
There’s a distinction between control and influence in parenting. Parents do not have absolute control over their children's behavior, especially during adolescence. Parents can reflect on their own experiences as teenagers, likely to evoke a recognition that parents couldn't fully control their behavior during that time. While control may be limited, parents possess a significant amount of influence over their children's choices. Influence is presented as a more effective and realistic approach to guide children's behavior, contrasting with the idea of strict control. Keep in mind that parents serve as crucial role models for their children. Children observe and learn from their parents' behavior. The parents' actions play a vital role in shaping the values and decisions of their children.
There are three methods for influencing and motivating children: •
Positive Strokes: Verbal praise and recognition given to a child when they exhibit positive behavior. Motivate children by reinforcing positive behavior through positive strokes.
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Positive Consequences: Advocates for rewarding children for their good behavior. Positive consequences should not be treated as bribes.
