Try Making A "No" List

By Alice O'Brien, Churchview Psychotherapy, Millstreet

There are times in all our lives that we feel over-whelmed, when we feel that the demands in our daily life outweigh the abilities we have to meet those demands. We feel like we have a never ending list that never gets smaller. When we feel like this, we can ignore our wish to lessen our load and instead keep taking on more to add to the list. Often the advice in this situation is to make a list in an attempt to get a handle on things- but how helpful can it really be when we feel like we have a never-ending jobs list to write it down, surely that will only confirm that we are swamped?

Why not try a list of a different kind, come at it form a different angle and make a ‘no’ list. This is a list of things that you are no longer going to do because you want to improve the quality of your life. A ‘ no list’ is a list of things that we are going to stop doing. When we spend our lives saying ‘yes’ we often end up with a growing number of responsibilities making us feel even more exhausted.

So what can you put on your ‘no list’

• Joining committees and taking on roles that you do not have

time for, saying yes to every new role or job only adds to our load.

• Learning to not say yes immediately- learning to think about things so you can see if you have room for it in your life.

• Doing things that are meant to be pleasure but you really don’t enjoy- if you don’t like to book you are reading then put it away, if you don’t enjoy the gym class then start another hobby.

When you start saying no you might find that it becomes easier with time. But remember, the world will not grind to a halt because you put yourself first-so try it once in a while.