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Editorial 5 President’s Tirade 6 News 7 Second Time Around 11 Vox Pops 18 Kiwis Can Fly 19 Caption Contest 20 Musical Interview: Karnel 21 A Cynic’s Waffling 24 For the Love of Balls 25 Reviews 26 Dear Barbie 29 What’s on 30 Horoscopes 31

NEXT ISSUE: “Generation Y” Issue, out 2nd May 2011 EDITORIAL INQUIRES ph. (09) 815 4321

ext 7927 ADVERTISING INQUIRES ph. (09) 815

4321 ext 7384 usuadvertising@unitec.

EDITOR: Ashley Smith GRAPHIC DESIGN: Mark Lovatt SUB EDITOR: Nathan Calis

Disclaimer Opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the publishers. Submissions and contributors are welcome, but the publisher reserves the right to select and edit the material submitted. Materials submitted will remain property of the publisher unless alternative arrangements are made.

CONTRIBUTORS: Pete Hodkinson, Bruce Lightfoot, Melody Clarke, Saraid Cameron, Angela March, Britany Dyke, Jenaya Johnston, Nathan Calis, Shaun Overton, Briar Wells, Ele Devere, James Wheeler, Kendra Oxley, Natalie Clark, Samantha Gee, Zephir Delamore, Saru Krishnasamy, Kimberley Downs




A USU StUdent ISSUeS AdvocAte can book you a free consultation with Jackson russell, a general practice law firm in the city who offer a full range of legal services. you will also receive a further 20% off any follow up consultations. to mAke An AppoIntment emAIl:, cAll 815 4321 ext. 7924 or vISIt usu reception (bldg 180)

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usu Students’Association at Unitec





within the pages of this magazine, I am going to take this opportunity to tell you a quick story that went into the production of this issue. On page 7, we have a story written by Briar Wells about the increase of pestering drifters that are finding home in the streets of the Mt. Albert shops nearby campus. To accompany this news story, we needed a photograph of the area, so I took a bike ride up to the shops during lunch to snap a quick photo. Well—as it turns out, our news article may be understating the actual prevalence of these neighbourhood characters. Within two minutes of arriving to the heart of the Mt. Albert shops, I was approached by this man, called Darren (See image on right side of page). If there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s that I am a magnet for nonsensical people. I don’t know whether I give off some sort of aura, or maybe I subconsciously seek out the ridiculous thrill… but the absurdity certainly finds its way into my life. Hence, Darren. The man opened up conversation by discussing with me the “olden days” when his brother used to develop his Nikon film in his dark room. Interesting enough. Once he recognized my unmistakable American accent, we took a few minutes to converse about his ripped up “Pittsburgh Penguins” T-Shirt. (More like I patiently listened as he provided a self-centred soliloquy about his family over in the US and his affinity to Pittsburgh Ice Hockey). He proceeded to offer me his number in case I ever wanted to hang out. I politely declined and started



World Go 'Round

It blows my mind that so many of us share the same streets, same parks, same beaches, yet we have such different outlooks on the world. I guess that’s what keeps the world turning right?

What Makes the

to move on my way. He followed up by shouting, “Well it’s a good thing, ‘cause I don’t got one anyway!” Aw, thanks Darren. What I’m getting at here is that along with all of the wonderful natural resources that this planet provides, it also bestows a huge variety of wildly eccentric individuals. The boundless numbers of personality types and idiosyncrasies that encompass our global population inspires and enlivens me. It blows my mind that so many of us share the same streets, same parks, same beaches, yet we have such different outlooks on the world. I guess that’s what keeps the world turning right? Well—that, and the compliant eco-friendly habits we all practice to reduce our carbon footprints ;) Either way, our planet is a gigantic and beautiful place that I wish to stay colourful and nurtured along its forests and streams as well as within the multitude of personalities in its eclectic population. April 22nd is Earth Day, an internationally recognized celebration of our world. So on this 22nd of April, take the opportunity to appreciate what the Earth has offered to you: whether it be a beautiful seaside landscape, or the prospect of meeting interesting people each and every day.


I haven’t received one letter to the editor since I began! Feedback is great! Drop me a line, whether it be good or bad: I would love to hear from you! SHOUT OUT TO

Andrey Pavlov for providing so many amazing photos to Issue 2! You’re a rock star, sorry to have lacked the proper accreditation within the last Mag!

Ashley Smith 2011 Editor

Letters should be 250 words or less. You MUST include your real name, phone number and address so we don’t get sued (we won’t print them if you don’t want us to). We won’t spell-check it, but we might edit, abridge, or decline it without explanation.Send letters to: or, USU Students’ Association, Builing 180, 139 Carrington Road Auckland





-Quote of the week from a student who greatly overestimates the extent of my powers. I’m flattered though buddy, and hey, because you asked nicely, I do know a guy who knows a guy; I’ll look into it and have my people call your people. So… people, what is within the reach of my powers as President? What do I do? And why should you care? It’s my job to represent you, to carry the student voice, to be engaged… but what does all that mean? It’s more than being elected; that’s just a position on a few committees. It’s more than having student interests at heart; they’re just intentions (as noble as they may be). And it’s surely more than an “AGM” held during a sausage sizzle, that’s just… well, bullshit… Think about it, if we elected a blonde rep. to the student executive, could we expect them to know what all blondes on campus were thinking at all times? Not at all, likewise, someone could have great ideas about what students need but ideas and intentions without actions are about as useful as the Braille on McDonalds’ drive-through eftpos machines.

Know Your Exec

It’s about research, communication and fundamentally, someone getting things done. It’s a two-way process and I need your help at every step of the way, because otherwise I’m just a guy who’s been elected onto committees, with some ideas and an office in the hub. So how do you do your bit? For starters, you can now rate your courses through the improved - Give us (and your lecturers) the low down on your classes, good and bad. Tell us what is and isn’t working for you. Then, when the Satisfaction Survey comes out,(and yes it will be shorter than last year’s monster *cringe*) fill it in and tell us what you think of everything from the library to food and drink provision on campus to the terrible *cringe* internet in the Student Village. Take control of your education and let’s get some things done. You owe it to yourselves and I owe it to all of you for electing me for the past two years.


Charlie Sheen. He wins here, he wins there. He only has one speed: GO! Listen to what he’s really saying, sure he’s full-on, but for being bi-winning, he gets some props from El Presidente.


People-who-park-soclose-to-your-door-thatyou-can’t-get-in-andI-had-to-walk-aroundto-the-other-side-andclimb-across-my-passenger-seat-last-Thursday. You people fail epically.

Stay chill, Pete.


How would you describe your role (General Execu-

is self control. We have rules and procedures in place

Are there any particular major changes that you

tive) of the USU Executive? The role of a General

designed to protect staff, Executive and Students.

hope to implement this year? Students may be notic-

Executive is something that changes all the time. All

Stepping over those lines is something you don’t really

ing now that things are getting heated at our USU Free

Executive positions have certain jobs and responsibilities,

want to do if you can avoid it. I apply that experience to

BBQ events. Since the 2010 election, I have lobbied for the

however unlike the President, Vice-President and Finance

my actions everyday by making sure to consult relevant

inclusion of onions with our free sausage. Along the way

Officer, General Executive members have to shape and

individuals before making decisions. What’s important

Onions' friend, Mustard decided to jump on into the mix.

frame their role to who they are as a person, the limita-

is what the students want collectively. It’s extremely

If you happen see our new additions, be sure to introduce

tions of their role and the concerns of students. One day,

hard to please everyone; you just have to find a middle


you could be advocating for better appeals processes,


If you had to closely associate your personality to

the next you could be on a committee, sitting in a room

In a typical day of work, what is your favourite

one cartoon character, who would best represent

of Unitec staff wondering what they’re talking about and

thing to do? On a typical day of work, I tend to drink

you? The cartoon character I think I mostly relate to

how you got there.

a lot of V energy drink. This is something the USU Staff

is Brain from “The Pinky and the Brain” T.V show. His

You began your work with the USU Executive

have noticed and raised their concerns about. It’s what

personality and train of thought is fairly close to my inner

this year. What is the most important thing you

keeps me on the ball throughout the day. Switching to

workings, so although I may not be working towards

have learned so far that you plan to apply to your

coffee is an option, but the effects would drive everyone

“global domination” I am working to better the student

position for your remaining time in the role? One

in the office mad.

experience by improving how we do things here at Unitec.

of the things I have learned while working for the USU



Mt. Albert Shop Drifters Scare Away Locals By: Briar Wells

Intoxicated men and intimidating window washers who loiter around the

central Mt Albert bus stop are scaring passers-by, bus users, and local shop keepers. The Mt Albert Business Association chairwoman says there has been an influx of male window washers, who sit on the public benches drinking in groups of three or four during the day. Pauline Anderson says they are threatening customers and scaring people away with their “belligerent manner”. “It’s affecting business in a bad way. We want to attract business, not lose it. Customers don’t want to be faced with these people.” Several shop owners, who refused to be identified for fear of retaliation, say that the men are verbally abusive when asked to move on.

They say their alcohol-fuelled behaviour is often erratic and aggressive. A Unitec student, Hayley Rogerson, says it has gotten to the point where she doesn’t want to go to the Mt Albert shops anymore. “All I want to do is grab a coffee and get on a bus. But now I can’t do that without getting harassed,” she says. A few weeks ago, Miss Rogerson saw one man who was so drunk he didn’t realise his pants had fallen down, exposing his genitals. “It was shocking, it’s something you don’t expect to see in the suburbs. I don’t know why they choose to hang out here.” She says she also saw another young student being accosted with comments of a sexual nature. Ms Anderson says that with a lot of schools in the area, including Unitec, it’s

becoming an unsafe area for young people to hang around. “At the recent Sounds in the Sun event we had a lot of students walking around, some of which were confronted with drunk and aggressive behaviour by these men. They were vulnerable, we are lucky nothing happened”. A by-law prohibits the practice, and washers can be fined up to $500. However, Ms Anderson says this doesn’t stop them. “They are sent to court, and are fined. But this doesn’t mean anything because they have no money to pay the fines,” she says. Senior Sergeant Scott Leonard of Avondale Police says the police are aware of the problem, and are in the process of dealing with it, although he would not elaborate.

Kids Day Out Maintains Entertaining Reputation By Kimberlee Downs They danced to The Funky Monkeys until they could dance no more.

The Unitec Students' Association's family fun day, Kids Day Out has been declared a success by organisers, after about 2000 people flocked to the event at Henderson Primary School on Sunday. The attractions at the free entry event included New Zealand music supergroup The Funky Monkeys. But Liesje Bradley, who took four children with her, said it was the more traditional forms of entertainment that were the favourites. “They’ve had the face paint and the

candyfloss. Now we’re off to the bouncy castle.” Various rides and food stalls were also available. Around a quarter of Unitec students have dependents, a key reason for putting on the day, according to USU event manager Adam Basham. “An event like this, for our members who have family, means they can come along and feel like they’re getting an event just for them!” Nursing student Adelaide Puru, who attended with her granddaughter KhaliaJade, said the Kids Day Out was just that.

“It’s really good, it’s awesome, it’s just great for the kids,” she said. And while numbers were down on last year’s turnout of 3300 people, Mr Basham said the atmosphere was still enjoyable. “It’s great. Every event’s different, but I actually quite like this better… there are shorter queues and it makes it a better experience for everyone.” The event was established in 2008 and is now held twice a year. The next Kids Day Out is scheduled for November.






Neighbours Day Arrives in Aotearoa by Saru Krishnasamy The first national ‘Neighbours Day Aotearoa’ is taking place this weekend with

a goal to reconnect Kiwis with the people they live closest to. March 26 and 27 marks a time where people are encouraged to mingle with their neighbours, through organised events like street barbeques or even a friendly wave over the fence. Project manager Leigh Strange says while many people have never said hello to their neighbours, the Christchurch earthquake has highlighted the significance of community relationships. Unitec student Melissa Workman says hearing about the initiative has made her want to get to know who she’s flatting next to. “It sort of made me realise how important it is to get to know my neighbours. If we ever got burgled or anything, I’d want to know my neighbours were looking out for us.” Miss Workman says she and her two flatmates are planning on introducing themselves to their neighbours for the first time over the weekend. “It’s exciting. If it goes well we might even invite them around for drinks.”


1st electric power plant fuelled by garbage begins operating 1975


Microsoft is founded as a partnership between Bill Gates and Paul Allen.

Students Stand Up Against Suggested Drinking Reforms By Ele de Vere Students around New Zealand are rallying together to fight Government suggestions of a split purchasing age for alcohol as part of the new Alcohol Reform Bill, believing it is blatant discrimination. Introduced last October, the bill highlighted a need to restrict the ease in which alcohol can be accessed by those aged 20 and under. Bars, clubs and licensed premises would still be permitted to sell to those R18 visitors, however supermarkets and other liquor outlets would only be able to sell to those aged 20 and over. Meaning for many students, sinking a box of brews after a hard day at lectures may become a thing of the past. Student groups around New Zealand have launched a ‘Keep it 18' campaign in retaliation to the proposed purchasing age changes. Act on Campus, the Young Greens, Young Labour and Young Nationals are some of the many groups involved and have been gaining huge support through Universities, websites and Facebook pages. These groups believe that changing

A message in a bottle tossed in the Baltic Sea in 1987 was recently found by a young Russian Boy who responded to the author after 24 years.

A 12 year old Dutch girl recently gave birth on a school trip. Before going into labour, she was completely unaware of her pregnancy.

the purchasing age will do nothing to affect how youth are drinking within New Zealand. ‘Keep it 18’ plans to defeat the bill and all other proposed changes. The government has also come under scrutiny for ignoring calls for harsher limitations on alcohol advertising and sponsorship and for discriminating against 18 year olds. However, the bill has gained immense support from other parties, passing its first reading in Parliament .Many understand that although it does not tackle all aspects of drinking within New Zealand, it is at least a step in the right direction. Other suggestions in the Alcohol Reform Bill include stricter guidelines on issuing liquor licenses, restricting the size and strength of RTD drinks that are sold and lowering the blood-alcohol limit for driving. Submissions for the bill closed in February with the report due in May later this year.

A package found by a security guard at a U.S. federal office building in Detroit sat three for weeks before someone thought to screen it and found it was a bomb



6th space shuttle mission, Challenger 1 launched

Winston Smith in Orwell’s “1984” begins his secret diary



Largest Opening Day crowd at, Yankee Stadium: 56,706

Tertiary Funding Cut For Earthquake Relief

Auckland Transport

Investigates Speeding Concern By James Wheeler

Speeding vehicles and safety breaches in Waterview are fuelling an investigation by

Auckland Transport. The Albert-Eden local board meeting on March 2 identified issues concerning residents on Alford Street and Middlesex Road. Board member Tim Woolfield said a presentation was made that focussed on speeding vehicles, police enforcement on these roads, and a demand that something be done to reduce speed in the area. Mr Woolfield said one of the problems with these streets is they are long, wide, and straight, which encourages drivers to speed. The presentation was made by Richard Flatman, who has been trying unsuccessfully to put safety measures in place. “The streets are just covered in tyre marks from speeders,” Mr Flatman said. “Three times in six years my fence has been taken out. I’ve also lost a tree.” His house is 12 feet from the corner of Alford Street and Middlesex Road. He has gained almost unanimous support from residents of these two streets by sending out letters. An attempted bank robbery near New York City was brought to a screeching halt when the bank teller simply responded “no” to putting the money in the bag.

Mr Woolfield said traffic calming procedures (TCP) will be looked at to find a suitable method to fix the problem. He claims that speed humps, a clearly marked stop sign, or reducing the width of the street at certain points may help. Albert-Eden Chairman Peter Haynes said the local board takes traffic concerns seriously. Mr Haynes said the next step will be an investigation of the area and its safety, carried out by Auckland Transport. A similar complaint was made following a fatal accident in October 2008 on Terry Street, which is popular with boy racers. Although there have been no fatalities, Mr Flatman said that it only takes one accident to take the life of an innocent person. Mr Flatman said the one thing he wanted to achieve by putting his case forward was safety, especially for children in the area. Alford Street and Middlesex Road are very close to both Waterview Primary School and Waterview Kindergarten. “Children’s futures are at stake,” says Mr.Flatman.

An older obese man was recently found in his Ohio home, where he had to be cut out of a chair he had fused into after sitting in it for two years straight!!

A woman from northern India recently reported her own personal health remedy--consuming two kilograms of sand per day for the past 40 years--so far, no health issues have been reported.

By Britany Dyke The Christchurch earthquake has taken a huge toll on New Zealand in the last month. It’s about to take an even bigger toll on students who want to study. Prior to the Christchurch earthquake, a whopping $800 -900 million had been planned for spending in this year's tertiary budget, (already down from last year's figures which were at 1.1 billion) but now, Prime Minister John Key has announced a re-budgeting scheme that discards plans for the extra $800 million, due to the financial needs in Christchurch. With the budget already tight for students, this is not good news. John Key has said there will still be a slight increase in budgets for education but the overall costs would have to come from cuts in other areas. The budgets are not meeting student demands for the amount of students wanting to study, and the budget fails to meet expectations. For a student this may mean little, but in the big picture, our economy is struggling financially and students could be the ones to luck out. The interest free student loan is proving a mistake from the government but they say it will continue to be interest free simply because of the pre-election promise. Other issues include: larger classes and lower paid staff. Students who are already well into their studying are so far safe. Their student loan will remain interest free and they face few drastic changes. Students who are intending to study in the future may find it hard to get into the courses they want, due to government cuts in the tertiary education sector.




Cartoons Earth Day





10. Columbia is using bamboo (a renewable resource) to build its structures.

9. Cuba has a population of people who mostly walk and bike for transportation.

8. Austria planted 6,800 ecofriendly gardens throughout the country last year.

7. France is popularising solar panels on rooftops.

6. Mauritius burns its solid waste rather than dumping it.

5. Norway hopes to be a “carbon neutral” country by 2030.

4. Sweden uses hydro and wind power as a key source of energy.

Google Prompts Ohhh the things we Google….makes you proud, doesn’t it? What if the world What if the world stopped spinning What if the world was made of glazed donuts What if the world ends in 2012 What if the world was flat What if the world were a little more perfect What if the world was made of pudding What if the world had no black people What if the world was communist Google Search I’m Feeling Lucky

3. Costa Rica is a huge contributor to the worldwide re-forestation program.

2. Switzerland accommodations offer discounts to those who arrive in hybrid cars.

1. Iceland uses geothermal energy and hydrogen for electricity and heat sources.


KFC is soon introducing its controversial burger to NZ—two fried chicken fillets as buns, filled with cheese, bacon and sauce!

Second Time


MODEL WANNABES are making themselves known in the Auckland area for New Zealand’s Next Top Model auditions

Thank goodness for all those fossil fuels we’ve burnt since, they saved us. Now the world is getting warmer and we will drown when the polar ice caps melt. Oh well.

HAVEANAFFAIR. CO.NZ is growing its membership database quickly since its March 25th launch


when the polar ice caps melt. Oh well. Let’s not forget economics. It is a science in and of its own. Large salaries are paid to their university qualified industry specialists to predict the future as it relates to the economy. And how often are they right? Not so much. Economic downturns are not predicted, nor are bull markets. Maybe the moon is involved in economics as well…has anyone looked into that? Actually, yes. A 2009 study in England found a correlation between investment returns and a full moon. Predictions are a tricky prospect, yet we are drawn to them for pretty much everything. Perhaps it’s an attempt to make sense of the world; a human need to know what is going to happen. And even when there is abject failure on behalf of the predictors, we keep going back for more. Anyway, my last big bet I made was on the 6th October 2007. All Blacks vs. France. “$20 to win”. I said as I handed over my money. My mate behind me was much more bullish. “Dude, they will crush France. Anyhow, France never wins on a full moon.” “You so sure?” “Duh, yeah, France lost to Argentina and the ref is English. They hate the French. He won’t do them any favours”. “Make it a fifty then”. As I handed over what was left in my wallet.

ELDERLY PEOPLE are an increased market within Auckland based cosmetic surgery


been a busy little punter on sports betting a few years ago. A friend of mine had a friend who had a friend that did the numbers on TAB’s success rate with Rugby Union and league games. He decided that if the home team was the favourite, and the TAB was paying less than $1.40 for the win, then that team won 75 % of the time. Pretty good predictions I thought. I spent a whole season with a spreadsheet checking the results, and placing phantom bets to see what the outcome would be. And what do you know, he was right! But since the home team often paid $1.10 for the win, you ended up losing more than you won. So you couldn’t get ahead. So then I tried backing super favourites (those paying less than $1.10 for the win, and rolling six games together one after another). So each win was rolled onto the next game. You had to get all six right to collect. I was doing well, until Italy had their first ever Six Nation win, by defeating Scotland. Damn Italians. If predicting rugby games isn’t easy, how hard are natural disasters to predict? They are often referred to as ‘An Act of God’. It’s our way of saying; "no one could have foreseen or prevented this from happening." So earthquakes and tsunamis are Acts of God; not forewarned predictable events. If they did become predictable, where would the accountability lie when natural disasters weren’t predicted correctly? Is the moon in some way responsible for earthquakes, or for that matter -- the weather? The reputable Geothermalogists (made-up word) who refer to their books and research say that it is not. A number of moon watchers who refer to their charts and research say that the moon most likely affects the weather. I remember some old predictions. In the 1970’s scientists were telling us that the world was getting colder and colder. We would all die in an ice age. Thank goodness for all those fossil fuels we’ve burnt since, they saved us. Now the world is getting warmer and we will drown


I WAS WALKING PAST THE TAB RECENTLY and remembered that I had


AUCKLAND PROPERTY PRICES are still on the rise

CHRIS BROWN continues to stir up controversy in the Hollywood spotlight. He was recently found smashing windows in the L.A area ELIZABETH TAYLOR, classic actress of the 20th century, died on March 23. RIP AUCKLAND TRANSPORT plans to re-route the Link bus, cutting some of its Queen St. stops KELLY OSBOURNE owes $30,000 in taxes to the U.S. government… OPRAH WINFREY'S recent visit to Oz showed her true dulling colours when battling 40 degree weather and mispronouncing the PM's name.







AN ECOLOGICAL FOOTPRINT is the sum total of the waste that we contribute to the environment. This includes our carbon emissions, our food waste, housing sustainability, and goods and services usage. An ecological footprint calculates the human demand on the Earth’s ecosystems. Results reflect the total amount of planet Earths we would need to keep up with particular lifestyle demands on resources. Ecological footprints are an excellent way to assess our habits and try to improve the sustainable future of our beautiful planet. If you are interested in improving your footprint, refer back to the sections of the quiz in which you scored highest to arrange an appropriate environmentally sound goal.


FIRST OF ALL—WHAT IS A CARBON FOOTPRINT? It’s the personal impact that our activities have on the environment. This is determined by assessing the amount of greenhouse gases emitted through our daily routines. Normally a carbon footprint is measured in units of kg of carbon, but for the sake of simplifying, these tests will amount to a tiered system of the severity of your personal fuel emissions.


How large is the residence at which your currently reside? - 60 or less square meters +1 - 61-100 square meters +2 - 101-140 square meters +3 - 141+ square meters +4 What energy source do you primarily rely on to heat your home? - electrical +3 -natural gas, propane, petroleum +2 -wood fire +1 How would you describe your home’s recycling habits? - We recycle everything with a recycling symbol on it +1 - We recycle most paper, cardboard, and plastics +2 - When we remember, we throw used paper products in recycling +3 -Never or hardly ever recycle +4


How many kilometres do you put on your vehicle per week? - 0-100 km. +1 - 101-400 km. +2 - 401-799 km. +3 - 800 km. or more +4 What is your primary means of daily travel? - Walk or bike +0 - Public Transport +1 - Personal Vehicle +2

How often do you carpool with others when using personal vehicles? - Nearly always +1 - Often +2 - Hardly ever +3


Which describes your air travel behaviour? - I take 1-2 (or more) long haul flight per year +3 - I take a couple domestic flights per year +2 - I hardly ever fly +1 When travelling on an airplane, I fly… - First class +3 -Business Class +2 -Economy +1 When booking flights, I seek out a carbon offset ticket option - Yes +1 - No +2 Carbon offset tickets are just like regular airplane tickets, but a portion of your fee contributes to environmental initiatives, such as replanting trees or donates to alternative fuel research




You do your part to minimize your carbon emissions by being mindful of your everyday activities


You could be more considerate in your wasteful decisions, but are by no means excessive


You have little regard for the amount of fossil fuels you use for everyday living. It’s time to make a change.





FOOTPRINT Which best describes your diet? - Vegan (Eat nothing that is a product of animals: including cheese or eggs) +1 - Vegetarian (Do not eat animal meat) +2 - Omnivore (Eat some meat) +3 -Carnivore (Eat mostly meat) +4 Where does most of your food come from? - I grow/hunt most of my own food (very close proximity) +1 - Farmers markets (fairly local) +2 -Supermarket (mostly shipped in domestic) +3 -I mostly eat take-outs or at restaurants (I have no idea where my food comes from) +4 How much do you normally eat? - One-two larger meals with light snacks +1 -Two-Three larger meals with medium snack +2 -Three or more meals with regular snacks +3 How often do you select organic products? - Hardly ever +3 - Sometimes +2 - Almost always +1 MY FOOD TOTAL:





Approximately how many of your home’s furniture items/electronics/appliances are second hand? - Almost none +3 - Some +2 -Most of them +1 How aware are you of wasting energy in your home (i.e.—turning off lights, minimising water usage) - Very aware +1 - Sometimes aware +2 - Never bother +3 How would you describe your household waste disposal? - Most things get binned or put in the garbage disposal +3 -We separate rubbish and recycling bins +2 - We have a compost bin in addition to our recyclables +1 How often do you pick non-toxic cleaning products? - Hardly ever +3 - Sometimes +2 - Almost always +1 MY HOUSING TOTAL:



SET A TIMER for three minutes when you take your shower to try to minimise the amount of water that you use. BUY LOCAL PRODUCE. This reduces the distance and emissions that it takes to deliver the food to your kitchen. TRY TO DESIGNATE one vegetarian day per week. The Eco Footprint from producing animal protein is about eight times greater than that required for producing vegetable protein. HANG YOUR LAUNDRY to dry at least every other load rather than using up the energy in the dryer. RECYCLE YOUR SHOPPING BAGS, particularly for the grocery store, but also when you go to the mall!



4. 5.









Your ecological footprint is minimal. You truly live within your means, making an effort to sustain this beautiful planet. You look towards the future of our world. (If everyone lived within the same sustainable means as you we would only need ONE Earth)



Your effort to maintain a sustainable lifestyle is admirable. You clearly give a damn about our planet's tomorrow. By modifying small habits in your life you could still make a difference. (If everyone lived within the same sustainable means as you we would need 2.5 Earths)

How would you describe your spending habits? -I put things on credit quite often +3 -I spend within my means +2 -I am a great saver +1


How often do you buy a new clothing item? - Every 1-2 weeks +3 - Every month +2 - A few times a year +1


When buying, how important is it to you that the product is made locally? - Not very important +3 -Slightly important +2 -VERY important +1


You are aware of the world around you, but don’t go out of your way to make a massive difference. Try buying a bike, or eating less meat to reduce your footprint. If everyone lived within the same sustainable means as you we would need 4 Earths)

Well…at least you know you’re living on a planet…right? Just like you need resources to function, so does the Earth. Be kind to it, and it will be kind in return. If everyone lived within the same sustainable means as you we would need 6 Earths)

WASTER!! Do you throw puppies out the window of moving vehicles as well?! If everyone lived within the same sustainable means as you we would need 8.25 Earths)

How often do you replace old items with new ones? - Frequently update and replace +3 - Sometimes upgrade +2 - Only when old things break +1 MY GOODS/SERVICES TOTAL:







In Unison before its folded, trimmed and stitched.

Offset Printer

Printing Inks

Aluminum Printing Plates

IN UNISON RECENTLY TOOK A TRIP TO IT’S PRINTERS TO EXPLORE THE SUSTAINABLE FEATURES THAT IT USED IN ITS PRINTING SERVICES. PMP was kind enough to give us a tour of the factory and step us through the printing process. One of the first bits of sustainable information we were given was the company’s recognition by the Forest Stewardship Council, a nonprofit agency that oversees the responsible management of the world’s forests. They ensure that every piece of printed paper within their recognised business association can be traced back to a sustainable forest. They diligently replace all of the trees that are used for paper production. To begin our tour, we were shown the print plates that are used as a sort of massive stamp through the printers. Each sixteen page spread has a 4 plate spread: Cyan, Magenta, Yellow and Black. The plates are made of aluminium, so after they’ve printed an entire set of magazines, they can be sent back to the provider for recycling. The inks are removed from the metal, which is melted down and re-used for production. Next, we were shown where the inks are introduced to the printing machine. In Unison uses soy based inks, which have many environmental advantages: • Soybeans are a renewable resource, meaning that it’s a natural resource that can be regrown and replenished. • Soy inks are easier to remove from paper stock once the paper is in its recycling process. This reduced the amount of energy required for the recycling sequence. • Soy ink is also low in volatile organic compounds. When exposed to sunlight or direct heat, there are very few toxins that are released into the air. Once the magazines have printed, PMP uses an oxidised drying process rather than UV ray drying. In doing this, the printing process reduced its carbon footprint by eliminating the carbon offsets that would be used for UV drying. Oxidised drying allows the oxygen in the air to naturally set the inks to the paper. As you’ve probably noticed by now, In Unison has switched its stock from last year’s glossy look. We are now using a recyclable paper. The new paper is: • Produced using completely renewable resources in wood • Non-toxic and biodegradable • From sustainable forests that replant more trees than it harvests In Unison is proud to represent a sustainably healthy printing cycle. We will continue to seek out ways to reduce our own carbon footprint. In the mean time, let us inspire you to decrease your own personal carbon emissions. Special thanks to George and Darren at PMP for taking the time to let us come and visit!



WITH ALL THIS TALK OF ENVIRONMENTAL AWARENESS, the Mag thought it would determine its own carbon footprint. Based on the three divisions of a Carbon footprint test—Home, Ground Travel and Air travel, our carbon footprint isn’t horrendous, but it’s not exactly minimal either. From tracing back our paper stock to its origins, we were able to determine the approximate air travel needed to prepare an issue of In Unison. There’s always room for improvement, but its certainly a humbling experience finding out how much energy it requires to make all of this happen on a biweekly basis. HOME The actual square meter space that the In Unison office takes up is 8 square meters. This is not much space at all. If you count the walk to the printing machine, we might expand to a whopping 12 square meters. Needless to say, we’re not taking up too much physical space here. We use electric heat to stay warm in the winter and we do our best to overflow the recycling bin with all of the printouts and cardboard that accumulates each week GOOD GROUND TRAVEL The two employees who put the magazine together have a minimal ground travel impact. Ashley (the editor) rides a bike to work everyday and Mark (the designer) rides a scooter. They both live within a small radial distance to work, so they don’t spend too much time on the road. The magazine is delivered on vans

from our printers, only about 4 kilometres away twice a month. This racks up less than 10 km. per month! GREAT! AIR TRAVEL After tracing the origins of our paper pulp, we discovered that there is quite a significant amount of air travel required to receive the paper here in Auckland. This air travel includes flights from Uruguay to China, China to Australia, Australia to New Zealand. Fortunately, we don’t think the paper pulp is booking first class tickets, so the space on the airplane is efficiently used POOR RESULT: In Unison contributes a fairly significant amount of carbon emissions to the atmosphere, though we recently reduced our footprint by switching over to recyclable paper, meaning that we now contribute to the renewable cyclical process!

TRACING IN UNISON IN UNISON WAS THRILLED that we could trace our paper right back to its very source and decided to take up the FSC on its promise to do so. After some research, heavy digging, and communication with international sources, we finally traced the path of our paper back to a sustainable forest in Uruguay. Here is a map of the journey that our paper went through before it became a beautiful issue of In Unison.

An FSC Sustainable forest in Uruguay!

In Unison on the racks at Unitec

PMP Printers in Morningside,

BJ BALL Paper Supplier, Auckland

UPM Paper Mill in Chang Shu, China

Which was printed at…

Which was supplied from…

Who received paper product

Whose paper pulp resources come from…




VOX POPS How are you doing your part to create a sustainable environment?

“I ride my bike to class” -Alex Oxley

“Refill and re-use my water bottle” –Michaela Gravatt

“I bring reusable cloth bags to the grocery store” -Natalie Crook

“I catch “green cabs” and carpool” -Suman Dhaliwal

“Electrical engineering research to lessen our carbon footprints” -Kojo Owusu






Kiwis Can Fly like Owen Wilson’s crooked nose – not bad – but different and unique. It was an interesting simile (… that made me go huuuh?) that again reminded me of the cultural differences between the land of the long white cloud (which many of us think has been severely ‘Americanized’) and America itself. New Zealand is like the little brother of the world. It’s small, is overpowered by its older siblings and it desperately tries to copy and keep up with everyone else. We are very proud of our youth and our ‘kiwi culture’ yet we exist in some sort of tense state between proudly being who we are – and trying to compete and keep up with everyone else. Ironically this teeter-totter state is a little like being in your 20s. You’re in that phase where you know you’re not a kid anymore…but you’re not quite ready to be a fully fledged adult (or at least I’m not). You’re in the balance between wanting to soar forward and make your mark on the world…except you’re not exactly sure what you want that mark to look like! You want to get a job and launch your career…but also would not mind going back home to high school, home cooked meals and few responsibilities. It is a balance of wanting to do well at uni…and wanting to be young and irresponsible while enjoying yourself. Everyone tells you to “do it while you still can” – what does that mean? Does there come an age where you become incapable of having fun? You want to show the world exactly who you are…but some days you have no idea who that person even is! I remember being at primary school and receiving the prestigious honor of getting one’s ‘Pen License’. It was a momentous day when your teacher determined that your handwriting was good enough to be permanently inked onto your 1B5 soft cover English book (as opposed to bluntly scratched in drab grey). I desperately wanted to obtain the honor of the pen. I longed for the humble Bic Biro almost as much as kids desperately hope Christmas will arrive early. The trouble was that I couldn’t make up my mind on my handwriting style. Some days it was big, printed and round…and then I’d see my classmates small, sharp and pointed script and decide to copy that for the day. I knew I wanted the pen license – but like New Zealand with its little brother status – I was caught between proudly flaunting my own handcrafted font, and adapting to what everyone else was doing!

Everyone tells you to “do it while you still can” – what does that mean? Does there come an age where you become incapable of having fun?

TODAY SOMEONE TOLD ME THAT THE WAY KIWIS SPEAK and the words they choose to use is kind of


It’s not to say it’s a bad thing, I certainly don’t think we should sit back and let the world run without us! I could not be prouder of New Zealand, our culture and our ingenuity. The terrible earthquake in Christchurch filled me, not only with sadness, but also with so much pride. We filled ‘Trademe’ with offers of places to stay, reports of relentless assistance from our own people unwilling to give up hope in saving others whom they had never met. It really shows that the heart of New Zealand spreads from the fish of the north, to Maui’s southern canoe – it honors me to be a New Zealander! The global support also lifts my spirits! Australia, America, England China and many more countries have all jumped in to help us out in a time of absolute crisis. I am sure we would do the same for others, but the sheer power and size of our older siblings who are there in our hour of need really helps to pick us up when we have fallen and scraped more than one knee! Some might see New Zealand as small, naïve and behind the times. Those people do not know nearly enough about our resourcefulness, our heart, soul and our integral New Zealand spirit. We will always be looking up to our big brothers and sisters for what to do next, and how to better improve ourselves…but we will inevitably carve our own path. Just the same, we 20 year olds and students in will figure it all out for ourselves. It’s easy to feel a little lost at times, though you are over influenced by others. When you really look, there are plenty of ways that we are different…just like Owen Wilson’s crooked nose.

Angela March is currently on an outbound exchange to The University of Central Missouri (UCM). This is just one of over 60 universities throughout the world that Unitec has exchange relationships with. If you have been inspired by Angela's experiences and want to go on your own overseas adventure, then please contact the Student Exchange Office and remember to ask them about the Student Exchange Scholarships available!!!



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Competition Barbie


“Chuck Norris’ toilet paper” submitted by Shaun Overton

HONOURABLE MENTIONS: “Was that curry worth it?” submitted by Tash “Why girls wish they could just drip dry” submitted by Emily Woodall




a fUN, ON-caMpUS, SOcial SpORT EvENT

fRiday 8Th apRil

UNiTEc RUgby fiEldS - 10.30aM 8 a side - max of 12 people peR team gET TOgEThER, choose a team name and RegisteR at UsU Reception (bldg 180)

REgiSTRaTiON clOSES 6 apRil $45 RegistRation fee peR team cONTacT Ray, USU’S SpORTS cOORdiNaTOR at UsU Reception oR email

WWW.USU.cO.NZ please note - this tournament is for Unitec students and staff only.

usu Students’Association at Unitec

ion contest: This weeks capt THE FIRST FIVE PARTICIPANTS to submit an insightful/ funny/unique caption for this photo will receive a pass to admit 2 to the release of Scream 4 (in cinemas 14th of April). TO CELEBRATE THE RELEASE OF SCREAM 4 ROADSHOW FILMS AND IN UNISON ARE GIVING YOU THE CHANCE TO WIN ONE OF FIVE DOUBLE IN-SEASON PASSES.

Send your captions to or txt to 022 095 1455


Movie Synopsis: Sidney Prescott, now the author of a self-help book, returns home to Woodsboro on the last stop of her book tour. There she reconnects with Sheriff Dewey and Gale, who are now married, as well as her cousin Jill and her Aunt Kate. Unfortunately, Sidney’s appearance also brings about the return of Ghostface, putting Sidney, Gale, and Dewey, along with Jill, her friends, and the whole town of Woodsboro in danger.



Musical Notes



THIS ISSUE, I WILL BE CHATTING TO NZ’S NEWEST HIP HOP ARTIST KARNEL, who released his debut single ‘Gone’ in February. Since then, it has hit radio waves nationwide and even landed a spot on the Top 100 Charts! Don’t let the fact that this is his first release fool you - Karnel is no rookie when it comes to the music scene. He has worked alongside some of NZ’s biggest names and has an extensive background in performing arts. Having spent years behind the scenes helping others realise their dreams. Karnel decided 2011 is the year to make it big on his own. You released your first single ‘Gone’ featuring D.Love last month and it even gained a spot on the NZ Top 100 Charts, not to mention it holds the number one spot on Mai Fm. How does it feel to know your very first single is doing so well? It’s definitely a great feeling to know that people all over NZ are supporting the song. Getting on the radio was a long term goal for me, so it’s an accomplishment in itself. I do want to send a HUGE THANK YOU to all the radio stations around the country that have supported the track, especially Mai Fm. ‘Gone’ is a very emotional track, where did the inspiration for the song come from? I write about what I feel. This track in particular though, is about my ex girlfriend. It’s raw and it’s real and I know that many listeners can relate to it. Some come out of relationships and dwell on the past. For me, I wrote about a bad experience that I had and turned it into a stepping stone. I understand you have been in the music industry for a very long time. How did it all start? It all started at Massey High School. I accidentally ticked the Music box instead of Art and ended up having to take guitar lessons! But the moment I picked up that guitar, I knew I wanted to pursue music. Over the years I have worked alongside some of NZ’s top producers and artists. I am lucky enough to have established enough credibility in my field now to really take off as a solo artist, with the help of my producer and long time friend D.Love. Tell us about how you contributed to the Christchurch community after the earthquake hit in February? I was actually in the studio the day that the earthquake hit and didn’t find out about it until we finished at night. I have a lot of friends and family down in Christchurch and although they were okay, I felt connected to what had happened and wanted to do something to help. Once ‘Gone’ was released on iTunes for purchase a day later, I called my distributor and told him to send all of the proceeds to the Christchurch relief fund. I’m not sure how many people have bought the track so far, but at $1.99 it’s a great way for people to support my music and contribute to the rebuild of Christchurch at the same time. You come from a music oriented family – your Dad is a musician and your Aunty is NZ’s very own Annie Crummer! How have they influenced you? My Aunty Annie was a chart topper while I was in primary school, which had its perks. My Dad on the other hand, didn’t even know I was interested in music until he caught me playing the guitar in high school! From that day on, he supported me and taught me how to play different instruments at every opportunity. Being the only child to follow his footsteps in music, it has really developed a strong bond between us.

How does your performing arts background influence your music? I have been performing for many years and it has definitely prepared me for what I am doing now with my music. It’s taught me self discipline, given me the confidence to perform in front of anybody and has really helped me focus mentally at the task ahead. One thing I don’t have to worry about is being what we call a ‘recording artist’ – an artist who begins in the studio and needs to learn the art of performing. Fortunately, I can do both. You performed at the ASB Polyfest festival last weekend, what was the response like? It was awesome. I got to hear an advertisement on the radio promoting me as an artist and I was like “yeeeeeah booooy, how cool is that?!” Mai Fm did a great job; I had a lot of fun on stage and with the crew. I also had the honour of being a guest on the Niuean stage. The feeling of having your culture support you is the bomb. What can we expect to see from you next? We are about to start filming the video clip for my second single, which will be out in the next few weeks, so listen out! I’m also half way through completing my album and it’s something like a Pascalls Party Pack – there’s definitely something for everyone. The aim is to have the album out by the end of the year. What piece of advice would you extend to your fans? The best piece of advice I was ever given was from my older brother Jay Williams, (the name is just a coincidence!) and that was, “Ability will take you to the top, but character is what will keep you there”. Where can we find you and keep up to date with your music? You can find me at www.facebook. com/karnelwilliams or check out my band page ‘Karnel’, where you can find links to my website, MySpace and my debut single ‘Gone’. You can find out all of the latest info as well as events and stay up to date with where I’m at.





Over the past decade




organic foods are those To summarisE that are produced using environmentally supportive methods that don’t involve synthetic products such as pesticides and chemicals. They also don’t contain genetically modified organisms, and aren’t produced using chemical additives. The basic idea is that only natural methods and product are used throughout the harvest, preparation, and maintenance stages. Basically, a Big Mac from McDonalds can safely be regarded as the antithesis of organic foods. Supermarkets have been overflowing with “certified organic” products at an international level. There are even niche grocery markets alongside the streets that are “wholly organic”. People shop around, spending nearly 50% extra on their grocery bill just to ensure a healthy “organic diet”. It is hard to determine what struck up this sudden obsession in food sustainability. Is it just another

trend among the many others that float along with following a “Green lifestyle”? Maybe it has something to do with the recent media explosion of food awareness. Big screen documentaries such as “Super Size Me” and “Food Inc.” have certainly left an impression upon the public, and may be a legitimate explanation for the organic revolution. Organic is a term that isn’t just found in grocery stores anymore. Now you can buy organic cosmetics, stationary, handbags, and clothing. This means that the material that the item is made out of resources that came from an organically certified farm. These farms are assessed annually to ensure that they follow proper sustainable and non-toxic production practices.

MYT HBU STI NG THE ORG ANI C FOO D RUM OUR S: FACT OR FICTION: Organic food tastes better. FICTION! Years worth of studies have proven that people can

FACT OR FICTION: There are more nutrients in organic foods

not tell the difference between organic and inorganic produce in a blind taste test. Apples are the only produce that has somewhat consistently been identified.

FACT! Although, only by a small margin. Studies have found that organically produced food retains more of its nutritional value than those exposed to chemical preservatives.

FACT OR FICTION: Organic Food is better for the environment FACT! Because organic products do not require any toxic additives, the pollution of the soil and air is dramatically reduced.

FACT OR FICTION: By purchasing organic food I am supporting small farmer’s business FICTION! Unfortunately, not necessarily. Organic farming is becoming a very popular market among consumers and the big business suppliers are jumping on the bandwagon. For example, 70% of organic milk comes from just ONE milk producer. Big business is hard to avoid. FACT! To ensure that your organic purchase is in fact supporting a small farmer’s business, shop at a farmers market so you know exactly who you are buying from.

FACT OR FICTION: You don’t have to wash organic food as carefully

FICTION! Although not exposed to toxic chemicals, organic food is still food. It is grown in soil which can contain natural bacteria itself. Manure is a commonly used natural fertilizer which makes organic produce susceptible to E.Coli.

have consistently followed consumer patterns that display a Westernized cultures preference for quantity and price. Buying organically follows neither of these patterns and puts its weight on heavily in the quality category. Why the monetary change of heart? Are we really revolutionizing the way that we eat? The major question is: how does one justify the added cost involved in an organic lifestyle? For some, the benefits clearly outweigh the price tag. For those of you whom the jury is still out for determination, here are some answers to the question: “What am I really paying for?” The added cost of organic products is used to maintain the sustainable practices for the organic farmers. It is more expensive to naturally produce and upkeep crops than it is to purchase chemical preservation methods. Alongside the production costs, other benefits include:

• • •

Care for animals due to free-range standards and antibiotic bans. Organic production reduces the amount of allergens contained in food The relief of knowing that you are not ingesting pesticides, fertilizers, or added hormones

Maybe the organic lifestyle is a trend that will come and go like “Big Hair” in the 80’s. It may be blissfully hopeful to think that an international population is switching gears to worry more about acute health habits than economical concerns. Either way, the organic wave has definitely grabbed the attention of millions, and begun to revolutionize the way we think about food.







A Cynic's




until I spent a lunchtime being heavily berated for not ‘indulging’ in it. After many fervent endorsements, I tried it when I was desperate. Desperate, mid-shower (drunk), and overwhelmed by unexpected… instinct. It was kind of freeing. I have been led to understand that every bit counts when it comes to saving the planet. This exacerbates a quite intense anxiety of mine; the fact that I am Is agonising over using twice as much loo paper as 50% of the world’s my toilet paper population. i.e: Men. Yes. usage enough This is one of the things that haunts my conscience to get me off the in the middle of the night. eco-destroying No, it was not my fault that I was born with ‘parts’ that bandwagon? Do cannot merely be shaken good intentions dry. Sure, all women have and an abundance this problem, but still. Every time we go to the of guilt serve as toilet! Think of the trees penance for my sins? ladies! Sure, I have a reusable drink bottle and a ‘keep cup’, which made me feel like an environmentalist saint for about a week. Then a friend pointed out that they matched, and I admitted the essential reason I bought both of them: I thought they were pretty. Is agonising over my toilet paper usage enough to get me off the eco-destroying bandwagon? Do good intentions and an abundance of guilt serve as penance for my sins? I cringe at the lifetime of bad deeds behind me: putting things in the red rubbish bin because I couldn’t be bothered stuffing them among the overflowing recyclables, occasional inconspicuous littering, and using aerosol spray are among my many atrocities. How heavy do these things weigh on most people’s conscience? I would guess heavier than their loo paper usage. Is there anyone else who feels they are the only person in their peer group not making a 24/7 attempt to make the world a greener place? Maybe this harvesting of ‘green guilt’ is entirely self provoked. In my own guilty conscience, I envision myself straddling a mountain of plastic bags and directing a can of hairspray at a burning tyre. But to everyone else I’m just drinking from a pink and white bottle wearing a beatific expression. Who know peeing somewhere other than the toilet could be such a relief?




FridAy 13Th MAy fROm 11.00am UniTec SPOrTS FieLdS GeT yOUr STAr FiLLed TeAM TOGeTher (wiTh 7-10 PLAyerS) LOTS OF FUn And GreAT PrizeS TO Be wOn, A Free BBQ LUnch!

reGiSTrATiOnS cLOSe wedneSdAy 11Th MAy $45 Per TeAM iS PAyABLe AT The TiMe OF reGiSTrATiOn. usu Students’Association at Unitec




For The Love IT’S ABOUT TIME THEY BRING SOMETHING BACK TO THE FOOTY, and it’s not Buck. It’s not The Biff either. What I

want to see making a comeback are post-try celebrations. The only thing better than your team scoring a crucial try, is when your team rubs it into the opposition’s face with a good celebration. Who can forget Henry Fa’afili pretending to crack the Steeden open like a coconut? Or when Wendell Sailor ripped out the corner flag in last year’s aboriginal all-stars game and played it like a didgeridoo? It’s moments like these that add some more fun to footy; it’s when the characters emerge. A bit of theatrics isn’t always a bad thing and can attract audiences that may otherwise not be interested in the sport. However, this is a contentious issue among rugby and league purists as to whether these celebrations add or detract from the game. I say, if it’s done right, it’s great for the spectators. But therein lies the problem—doing it right. You see; there’s a fine line between being funny and being a dick. Thus, I have put together a few pointers to be considered: Firstly, you must be able to pull it off. Not everyone can be the funny guy, and pull off something like the post try shuffle. Leave that for Lelia Masanga and the Jamaicans. Henry Fa’afili is another classic example. One reason he got away with his try celebrations was because he was cool. He was like the Snoop Dogg of the NRL—he even had the cornrows. You also have to be able to walk your talk. If you’re a sub who only gets ten minutes game time out of sympathy, chances are you’ll look like an ass if you try and pull out the ‘lawnmower’ or the ‘ball bomb’. Unless you have something original and creative, you may as well stick to patting your teammates on the bum after scoring tries. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of seeing players pointing to the sky, kissing their hand, or pulling gang-like signs; it’s boring. Everyone loved it when Mark ‘Piggy’ Riddell jumped into the crowd after scoring a try and proceeded to applaud his own work. Originality is key. Like anything, try celebrations must be used in moderation. If the All Blacks were playing a minnow such as Afghanistan, they’d look like knobs doing a dozen try celebrations in one game. A good try celebration should be kept for special situations.


Don’t gay it up; it’s not soccer. Let’s be honest, the guys who do somersaults after their goals are just glorified gymnasts.

Of Balls

Don’t gay it up; it’s not soccer. Let’s be honest, the guys who do somersaults after their goals are just glorified gymnasts. They may as well be playing footy in leotards. Post-try celebrations need to be just that; after the try has been scored. Who can forget Junior Warrior Glen Fisiiahi’s embarrassing balls-up from last year when he started celebrating too early, only to be denied by some determined defenders. The Rabbitohs’ Chris Sandow is another one whose premature celebrations are incredibly irritating. Finally, I’d love to see the club mascots get more involved. The mascot is as pumped as anyone on the field, and is thus under-utilized when it comes to try celebrations.On the other hand, you could terrorize your opponent’s mascot. Pulling out the corner flag and pretending to bone him with it would be hugely entertaining.





TOP 5 ENVIRONMENTAL DOCUMENTARIES 5. KING CORN/FUTURE OF FOOD: Explores the effect of government subsidisation of unhealthy foods

4. BLUE VINYL: Examines toxic outputs of home building materials




Directed by Rowan Joffe.

GRUEN CAPTURES THE TRUE ESSENCE OF LIFE AMONGST CARNIE FOLK THE OPENING SCENE OF THIS FILM was an aerial shot of the tide coming in along the shore on an eerie full moon night. This definitely set the tone for the rest of the movie—dark and slow. Brighton Rock is the story of an English mob scene that has developed in small town Brighton. Young gangster, Pinkie Brown, is making a name for himself among the gangster crowd with his aggressive nature. Pinkie and his gang find themselves in a sticky situation as the murder of a rival mob man is linked back to them through blatant evidence. The evidence falls into the hands of innocent young Rose, who is terrified by the entire situation. Pinkie finds it in his best interest to befriend the young woman before she snitches. Through a series of manipulative circumstances, Rose finds herself falling in love with Pinkie, who only puts on an act for her in return. He believes that by winning over the heart of Rose, she will keep his secret forever. The story revolves around the catch 22 circumstance of whether Rose will keep the secret under pressure, and if Pinkie will resist the easier scenario of just killing her off. This film had all of the classic pieces of a good story. It blended together romance, with violence, all along a very well manicured filming sequence. The cinematography was beautiful, as it lent the impression of a dreary seaside English town. The film simply lacked any energy. It seemed to drag on and your sympathies for Rose last much longer than they need to. The script and characters did not provide any dynamic to the film; it all plainly rode along under a monotonous scheme of 1960’s English mob scene. Although it was refreshing to see something different in the theatres, Brighton Rock had me leaving the cinema sleepy and bored. Ashley Smith

during the Great Depression without the need to cash in on the ‘razzle dazzle’ of the big red top that so many writers do. Having ‘New York Times Bestseller’ on the cover of a book is a feat in itself, however for good or for bad it automatically raises reader’s expectations. Water for Elephants surpasses these expectations as it allows readers from all walks of life to be transported into the world of The Benzini Brothers Most Spectacular Show on Earth. Jacob Jankowskis is a ninety year old struggling to conform to the formalities of living in a rest home; his memories of his youth are vividly unravelled in a way that makes you feel as if you are right there on his shoulder throughout his journey. In the heart of the Great Depression Jacob was one of the few who had a successful future paved out for him. He was about to complete his final veterinarian examinations which would allow him to work alongside his father at their family practice. His path is distorted after finding out that his parents have been killed in a car crash. Jacob is left orphaned and penniless with nowhere to go. Following a breakdown Jacob is unable to complete his final examinations and throws everything away by running. With nowhere to sleep he unknowingly finds himself as a stowaway on the train of The Benzini Brothers Most Spectacular Show on Earth. The plot tends to lack pace and is primarily focused around the love triangle, with the exception of Rosie. Rosie is an underestimated elephant who adds an element of comic relief to the novel and becomes the silent star of the book. Jacob struggles to see a way out of a life filled with such debauchery. It is not until the greatest circus disaster of American history happens that Marlena, Rosie and himself are freed from the constraints of The Benzini Brothers. The film adaptation of Water for Elephants, directed by Francis Lawrence, is set to be released in New Zealand during May and has an award winning cast including Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon and Christoph Waltz. The cast may be reputable but transporting the magic that lies beneath the hatred, death and chaos of the book to screen will be a daunting task. But like any film adaptation it is essential to read the book first, and ‘Water for Elephants’ is a book that should be on the top of any good book list. Kendra Oxley

IN UNISON REVIEWS 3. RADIANT CITY: Examines the conflict of economic growth and environmental protection

2. FOOD INC: Reveals the unhealthy relationship between corporate America, the USDA, and the American consumer

Mini Reviews

1. THE 11TH HOUR: Documents the dangers of global warming, deforestation, and depletion of the oceans


MUSIC THE SHOW MUST GO ON Directed by Jerome Bel


Sessions album lets you wind back down into your happy place. The ethereal mix of alternative, folk/electro pop funk makes for a luxurious sound sure to keep you begging for more. Perfect as a soundtrack whilst driving, recovering on hung-over Sundays, lying beside the pool and generally transporting yourself to anywhere but here. The effortless, soulful mix has been carefully constructed with a variety of different genres that come together quite seamlessly. For those of you who are expecting the usual from Ministry of Sound, prepare yourselves for something different. While Groove Armada and The Chemical Brothers represent the big house names, they stand alone against an array of new alternative artists, including Gypsy & the Cat, Smoove & Turrel and Ernest Ellis. The seasons biggest indie hits are featured; Florence’s ‘Raise It Up’, Temper Trap’s ‘Sweet Disposition’ and Miike Snow’s ‘Animal’ – mixed in ways you have never heard them before. An unexpected but welcomed hip-hop sound comes from British Wonky Pop artist Dan Black with ‘Symphonies’ and Outkast’s own Big Boi in ‘Turns Me On’. Another important aspect not to be forgotten is the soulful sound from the likes of Space Invadas and Breakbot, these alternative elements adding to what is a truly successful and comprehensive mix. Notable standout tracks include the haunting ‘Runaway’ from The National, Aria winner Washington’s divine lyrics in ‘Lover/Soldier’ and Jonathan Boulet’s touching and melodic, ‘A Community Service Announcement’. It is nice to see the strong presence of Australian artists on an international album, paying tribute to the talent down under. Overall, this surprising album is a successful compilation of artists and genres from around the globe. It’s distinct two part nature means the first disc is home to down tempo, relaxing jams that calm and settle whilst the second disc possesses more colour with heavier beats to really soothe and ease, all while maintaining a consistent ethereal atmosphere. There is something for everyone in the Ministry of Sound Chillout Sessions XIII, a purchase that is sure to help slow your heart rate and keep you relaxed … Samantha Gee

Concert DONAVON FRANKENREITER POWERSTATION Donavon Frankenreiter was recently in town on March 24 and performed at the PowerStation in Mt. Eden. The show was delightful. Donavon rocked the crowd with his surfer attitude and classic hits. His encore was most definitely the highlight of the night with crowd interaction to an old favourite, “If it don’t matter to you”. Donavon is clearly within his element here in New Zealand.

TV BETTER WITH YOU FRIDAYS AT 8PM ON T V2 “Better With You”, a new show added to the primetime TV2 line-up features three couples whom are along different stages of their romantic relationships. This show is light-hearted and at times funny, but underwhelmingly average. It doesn’t do much to distinguish itself from the other night time American comedy television programmes.


Part of the Auckland Arts Festival’s FranceDanse programme, The Show Must Go On is essentially a series of pop songs which employs a cast of both amateurs and professionals. It has toured for ten years and recruits a new cast in each country the work visits. The show opened by subjecting the audience to a full song played in complete blackout. As the song finished we heard the click … whirrr, click-click of a CD being changed. At which point two audience members left in disgust. I think they decide the entire show was going to be John Lennon and Lady Gaga in the dark (I imagine these people have a lack of hope in their lives). People continued to leave during the show, laughed out by some joke they’d obviously missed. I wouldn't call this a dance piece. It’s fabulous but the movement is extremely pedestrian. The cast literally enact the lyrics. It provides for an interesting commentary on pop culture; however you’d be disappointed if you were expecting a “dance piece”. Although I get the feeling that this is the point. The work’s definitely more enjoyable if you don't set yourself up for this. But again, perhaps being “enjoyable” is contrary to the show’s purpose. Regardless, I laughed a lot – well, maybe more like smirked. There were moments I found truly poignant, too. One section had the cast wandering around the stage until (as instructed by the lyrics) they found another person to embrace. If you’re ever travelling and happen to be in the same city as The Show Must Go On, I would absolutely recommend seeing it. You may hate it though I hope you don't. If you walk out you won't be the first. But you might be laughed at. Natalie Clark


In Unison is keen to hear from creative writers at Unitec! The Short Story contest opens March 7, 2011 and will run until midnight on May 6th.

WInner PrIzeS: - A Westfield Gift Certificate for $150 - Have your short story released incrementally in issues of In Unison as a regular column for 2011.

ShorT STory reqUIreMenTS: - Short stories must be between 2000-3000 words. - The theme is open ended (Non-fiction, Mystery, Fantasy, the sky is the limit‌)

hoW To enTer: - All applications must be submitted via email to the In Unison email: - All submitted stories must be in Word or PDF format - Please double space your submission -All stories MUST be submitted by midnight of May 6th. If there are any enquiries regarding the contest, email InUnison@

haPPy WrITIng! The results of the In Unison Short Story Contest will be determined partially by student body popular opinion via online polls. The In Unison Editorial Staff then reserves the right to final say of the contest winner. Student opinion will be highly considered during the decision making process.

usu Students’Association at Unitec



Dear Barbie Barbie




This is a simple and sweet dessert that brings you right back to your kid years. Celebrate Earth Day on April 22 with all of your friends with a few servings of delicious dirt! It is easy to make, and will disappear just as quick!


Serves: 4

Ingredients: Preparation: -12 oreo cookies -2 cups chocolate pudding -Pre-made un-iced chocolate sponge cake (or cupcakes) -Mint leaves -Gummy worms

-First, crush the Oreo cookies in a plastic bag. -Then cut the chocolate cake roughly into square inch pieces. -Take a large glass and fill the bottom inch with chocolate cakes chunks. Next, cover the cake layer with gummy worms. Once those are in place, spoon a heaping tablespoon of chocolate pudding on top. Then lay three to four mint leaves on top of the pudding layer. Sprinkle about two tablespoons of the crumbled Oreo cookie on top of the mint. -Repeat this process until the dessert glass is full!

Dear Barbie, When people say “you remind me of Kurt from glee” I say “Yea, I get that a lot”. The next part of the conversation tends to be them trying to ask whether or not I’m gay (and for the record: I like girls). How does someone who naturally looks like the gay, innocent guy from the gayest most innocent show on TV get more sexual magnetism?

Dear Barbie, I have a flatmate that lives in the room right next to mine. I don’t know if she is aware, but our walls are paper thin, and on a pretty regular basis I can hear her having wildly loud sex on the other side of the wall. Should I say something, or would that make things awkward?

-not Chris Colfer

Dear Losing Sleep, Retaliate TIMES TEN. What you do is bring someone home tonight, and have obnoxious loud sex on your end. Make sure that you slap the wall a few times for extra effect. This way, you won’t have to explain to her just how paper thin your walls are. She’ll find out first hand for herself.

Dear Not Chris Colfer, I suggest pulling a Paris Hilton. “Accidentally” leak a heterosexual sex tape of yourself. Just make sure that it’s a good one. You don’t want people to think you’re faking it. Also—if you resemble Kurt from Glee that closely…please GET A TAN! XX Barbie

-Losing Sleep

XX Barbie








VILLAGE FOOTBALL MATCH Sign up your team of 7 players (with two substitutes) at USU reception by April 11 in order to participate in this exciting day of football. There will be a free BBQ and a $100 Carrington’s gift voucher for the winning team. FIELD BEHIND BLDG 170 12:30 P.M.

MON APRIL 25 ANZAC DAY COMMEMORATIONS The Auckland museum has a full day agenda prepared to honour the war veterans of New Zealand’s past with exhibitions, concerts, and community poppy making. AUCKLAND MUSEUM FROM 6 A.M.


On campus, social sport event with a Free BBQ lunch, and prizes for the winning teams. Register your team at USU reception by April 6th. UNITEC RUGBY FIELDS 10:30 A.M.





Uni Games is a friendly competitive inter-University sports event that is held annually in March/April. The week has a great sports tournament schedule and social programme lined up. Sign up before April 6th to receive an early sign-up discount. AUCKLAND CBD FROM 26 APRIL 9:00 A.M.

Get your tickets early to the comedy shows you hope not to miss this year! The comedy festival is returning to Auckland on 29 April. Visit for more information and tickets. VARIOUS VENUES APRIL 29-MAY 22

Kids Day Out Pics Barbie


Gaming Day Pics






March 21-April 19 Your self assertiveness this month is admirable, but be mindful of those you may be affecting

Taurus April 20-May 20 A new wave of confidence will attract people and opportunities this month. Use it to your advantage, and check one of the goals off your list Gemini May 21-June 20 This month inspires an increase in creative energy. Harness this energy towards leading a group to a common goal. Cancer June 21- July 22 You will feel like an authority figure is “putting you in your place” this month, realize that he/she is only trying to improve the situation Leo July 23-August 22 People are noticing your directness and blunt nature lately. You’ll find you’re easily getting the things that you want Virgo August 23- September 22 Your recent lack of self control is catching up with you. Best to get your head on straight earlier rather than later Libra September 23-October 22 Just because you haven’t received the exact results you were expecting doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. Stick in there!

Scorpio October 23- November 21 The world seems to be at your fingertips lately. Channel your positivity towards social activities.

Sagittarius November 22-December 21 Your inner balance is improving your most important relationships. It will also attract a new exciting person into your life Capricorn December 22-January 19 Your feeling of “not being good enough” is self-destructive and will only prevent you from moving forward. Remind yourself of your potential by doing something extreme. Aquarius January 20- February 20 The exchange of ideas with a new friend overwhelms your mind. Take a small break from this person to mentally recover Pisces February 21-March 20 Don’t let your financial woes consume you. A well organized plan will help to easy your mind.




Join the USU and Unitec Uni Games Team

There’s 22 sports to pick from

For more information about the games che ck out

w w w .u s u .c o .n z

If you have any questions about Uni Games and sport at Unitec contact the USU Sports Coordinator - Ray Masila at or come into USU reception Buildin g 180.

in Unison - Earth Day Issue - 2011  

In Unison is the free fortnightly student magazine of the Unitec Students' Association.

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