AZi nf ulMur de r ByTa r a l ynFe r r y
210 W. Pine St. Lodi CA, 95240 www.MarilynDonald.com
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A Zinful Murder By Taralyn Ferry
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A ZINFUL MURDER Copyright Š 2015, Marilyn Donald All Rights Reserved CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that performance of A ZINFUL MURDER is subject to payment of a royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, and of all countries covered by the International Copyright Union (including the Dominion of Canada and the rest of the British Commonwealth), and of all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention, the Universal Copyright Convention, the Berne Convention, and or all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations. All rights, including without limitation professional/amateur stage rights, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video or sound recording, all other forms of mechanical, electronic and digital reproduction, transmission and distribution, such as CD, DVD, the Internet, private and tile-sharing networks, information storage and retrieval systems, photocopying, and the rights of translation into foreign languages are strictly reserved. Particular emphasis is placed upon the matter of readings, permission for which must be secured from the Author's agent in writing. The English language stock and amateur stage performance rights in the United States, its territories, possessions and Canada for A ZINFUL MURDER are controlled exclusively by MARILYN DONALD, INC., 210 W. Pine St. Lodi, CA 95240. No professional or nonprofessional performance of the Play may be given with-out obtaining in advance the written permission of MARILYN DONALD, INC., and paying the requisite fee. Inquiries concerning all other rights should be addressed to the Author c/o MARILYN DONALD, INC. SPECIAL NOTE Anyone receiving permission to produce A ZINFUL MURDER is required to give credit to the Author as sole and exclusive Author of the Play on the title page of all programs distributed in connection with performances of the Play and in all instances in which the title of the Play appears for purposes of advertising, publicizing or otherwise exploiting the Play and/or a production thereof. The name of the Author must appear on a separate line, in which no other name appears, immediately beneath the title and in size of type equal to 50% of the size of the largest, most prominent letter used for the title of the Play. No person, firm or entity may receive Credit larger or more prominent than that accorded the Author.
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This play is dedicated to my Papi, who instilled in me a love for theatre. Gracias por todo.
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Author’s Notes This is a well-recognized play in the Latino community and all over South America. The characters should be portrayed comically and over the top. There is no need for a set, as everything can be implied. The entire show is designed to revolve around the audience.
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A ZINFUL MURDER received its world premiere at In Motion Theatre Company (Cami Ferry, Artistic Director; Jim T. Chong, Producing Director; Hugo Martinez, Technical Director; S. Luis Bocardo, Program Director; Mary Nicholson, Healings in Motion CEO) in Stockton, California on December 5th 2014. It was directed by Cami Ferry; the set and lighting design was by Hugo Martinez; the costume design was by Elsa Fulton; the sound design was by Christopher ‘CJ’ Martin and the stage manager was Cydney Lobb. The cast was as follows:
DESIREE ……………………………….….. Cami Ferry MARGUERITE ……………… Christina Chavez Nelson HENRI ………………………………… S. Luis Bocardo ROSE …………………………….……… Taralyn Ferry ST. JOHN …………………………..……… Tim Koenig YVES ……………………………...……. Eddie Gorman SEYMOUR …………………….…….....… Harry Stoner LOTTE ……………….……… Jennifer Nelson-Burgher DR. BAPTISTE ………….…...…………. J. Lee Vocque DETECTIVE JOCK MCHENRY ….……… Tim Koenig
Our thanks to this talented cast and crew, to a gracious charity, Healings in Motion, and the subscribers and donors of In Motion Theatre Company.
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Characters DESIREE, owner of the chateau MARGUERITE, the maid HENRI, care-taker of the chateau ROSE, ST. JOHN, Desiree’s husband YVES, Desiree’s brother SEYMOUR, a guest at the chateau LOTTE, a guest at the chateau DR. BAPTISTE, a friend and colleague of Yves DETECTIVE JOCK MCHENRY, Scottish inspector
Place The sitting room of the Chateau Durand, France
Time Post World War One. 1937
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A Zinful Murder ACT ONE Scene 1 The dining room/living room of the Chateau Durand. Desiree & Marguerite, the maid, are preparing for the dinner party. DESIREE: Ah, Marguerite! Everything looks magnifique! My darling St. John will be so surprised! A dinner party is just what St. John will need after his long business trip. I’ve even invited his best clients, Monsieur Seymour Kingsley and Mademoiselle Lotte Beckmann as a special surprise! MARGUERITE: Oui Madame! You host a fantastique party and Mademoiselle Rose did such a formidable job of refurbishing the Chateau! DESIREE: Oui, Rose is such a darling and she has an incredible eye for decore! This will be a chance to show off her talents and impress St. John’s wine connoisseur clients with our new release. We will accompany dinner with some of our finest Bourgogne, Cabernet Sauvignon, and, of course, our finest Zinfandel Reserve…and tomorrow at noon, we will have the wine tasting and a tour through the cellar and vineyards. 8
MARGUERITE: Tres grande idea, Madame! But will not Monsieur St. John be angry when he finds you have invited the Mademoiselle Lotte and the Monsieur Seymour to the Chateau? He has never had them here before. DESIREE: Don’t be foolish, Marguerite, St. John will be extasie! Besides what better time to have then then now when the Chateau is refurbished and has never looked better? And having my dear brother, Yves, here for the weekend makes this all the more merveilleux! (Enter Henri) DESIREE: Ah, Henri! How is the vineyard looking? Are our guests comfortable? HENRI: Oui, Madame, they are resting in their rooms and the vineyards are a picture of belle elegance! DESIREE: Excellent! The vineyards and Chateau run so well under your management! I don’t know what I would do without you! HENRI: Merci Madame! But work is easy when I have a mistress as charmant, genereux, and gracieux such as yourself. DESIREE: Oh, Henri, you are too kind. We are such old friends…ever since my father hired you when we were both so young. We are not the same people we were then. HENRI: It was not that long ago! Time might seem as if it goes by fast but I think it is because you have become so successful. Taking on the Chateau after your father past away and turning it into the 9
flourishing business it is now. But to keep your business going as well as it is, I have some matters to discuss with you…at your leisure of course. DESIREE: Really? Well…we can discuss business matters after dinner…once the quests have been seen to. Speaking of dinner, Marguerite, would you run and get the good China from the cabinet. This is a special dinner after all. MARGUERITE: Oui, Madame! (Exits) HENRI: (Stepping closer to Desiree and taking her hand) Ma Cherie! I long to take you in my arms again! Can it be that you no longer yearn for my caresses, that you no longer whisper my name in your sleep? Think what I have told you about your steely hearted husband. Think how he abuses the business we both hold so dear and that he even may have betrayed our beloved France. Can you truly harden your heart to Henri, who cherishes your very breath, and condemn yourself to a loveless lifetime with a traitor and a cheat! DESIREE: (a little disgusted) Quiet, Henri! Marguerite is just in the other room. She will hear everything! What is so important that you would jeopardize our plan!? HENRI: I just wanted to make sure you were still willing to carry on with the plan. After all, I highly suspect that St. John is doing dirty dealings with Monsieur Seymour and Mademoiselle Lotte. They are acting very strange…as I was showing Mademoiselle Lotte to her room she asked when St John would be arriving. I told her not for a few hours…then a particular expression crossed her face. She 10
proceeded to ask if she could take a turn around the gardens. I said they are at her disposal but she should get settled in and rest from her long journey first…I hope that appeased here as we don’t want her snooping! DESIREE: Alors, that is strange but the Chateau looks so beautiful and it must seem odd to be in business with someone for so long and not be invited here sooner. HENRI:She does not strike me as one who likes to stop and smell the roses. She seems more like a strike when you least expect it type of woman. You can explain that away if you like but Monsieur Seymour is definitely up to something! While I was showing him to his room we came across Rose and when she saw him her eyes got wide and she hurried away. He brushed it off as if we had given her a terrible fright but I know she recognized him from somewhere…maybe he has been to the Chateau before. I plan to find out what she knows! (Marguerite enters with table settings) DESIREE: Henri, leave poor Rose alone! (Turning to Marguerite) Oh, Marguerite, my dear! These are exactly the ones I wanted, Tres elegance! My dear mother’s favorites! MARGUERITE: Oui, Madame! But I do hope Monsieur Yves does not have another accident. We lost three dishes during his last outburst! It did not even take much to make him angry!!
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DESIREE: Oh, Marguerite, you’re not still upset over that? Yves had simply forgotten to take his prescription. Dr. Ian has assured me that it will not happen again as long as Yves continues on his treatment. And in my opinion, Yves is very diligent now in making a full recovery…it hit him very hard when Mama past away. Yves has taken quite a fancy to Rose which is a grand distraction…however, I’m afraid she does not share the sentiment. (Crosses the room so her back is to Marguerite and Henri) MARGUERITE: Oui, I fear Mademoiselle Rose has taken a fascination with someone else…(flashes a glance at Henri…he notices and smirks…Desiree is distracted by something outside) DESIREE: Oh what a pity! They would have been so sweet together but I suppose you can’t force those things. Ah, we are out of Merlot…I’ll run to the cellar to get some…be back in a moment, Marguerite! (Exits) HENRI: (starts to back Marguerite against the wall) Ah, Marguerite, you are looking Tre’s belle! So sweet and charming! MARGUERITE: Is that so, Henri?! I thought the Madame was the one with those qualities…and do not forget that I am the one who caught you and Mademoiselle Rose when she first came here those few months ago…you remember when she looked Tre’s Belle!!?? HENRI: So I had a little fun with Rose on her arrival at the Chateau but it was not serious! Some harmless amusement for myself. MARGUERITE: Harmless Amusement!! (Gasps) It might not be serious to you but the Mademoiselle is very 12
fond of you. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Making love to a woman for your amusement and then throwing her aside like she never existed! (Henri tries to speak but Marguerite interrupts) No! It is not my business! I will keep my mouth shut in exchange for you keeping your hands off!! (Takes his hands which were resting on her hips and pushes them off) HENRI: Marguerite, don’t be like that! (Starts to advance) MARGUERITE: No! (doorbell rings) That is the door…Go, Go!! (Exit Henri a little miffed…Marguerite continues to work. Enter Desiree) DESIREE: That is so odd! I just saw Rose coming from the wood…she was carrying a basket. I wonder what she was doing…??? (Phone rings, Desiree answers) DESIREE: Bonjur! Chateau Durand! Dr. Baptiste Jullien! How nice to hear from you! Yves has just arrived home for the weekend. I’ll get him for you! What’s that? Yves has been showing an unauthorized visitor around the secret laboratory where you are holding the formula?! Sacre Blu! I do not think that my brother would do anything like that! How dare you cast shame on the honor of my family! My brother would not sell the formula for anything and he certainly wouldn’t be under handed about it! Au Revoir, Monsieur! (Slams down phone) How dare he accuse my brother of such dastardly deeds! Ranting about a missing formula, accusing Yves of stealing it, when that idiot doctor probably misplaced it!
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MARGUERITE: Madame, you must control yourself! The Maitre St John will arrive soon, you do not want him to see you like this! Or your guests! Madame please! DESIREE: (trying to calm herself) You are right, Marguerite…it is probably un tas de lies anyway! I’m going to the saile d’eau to freshen up! (Exits) (Enter Rose with basket…she is very dirty…carrying a gold lighter in her hand) MARGUERITE: Mademoiselle Rose! Why on earth are you covered in mud? You should be getting ready for dinner! (Noticing lighter) And why do you have Monsieur St John’s lighter? He never leaves without it! ROSE: (a little shocked) Oh, Marguerite! I found this (hold up lighter) while I was redesigning Monsieur St John’s room. I did not want it to get lost. I planned to keep it safe until he returns. It reminds me of the beautiful craftsmanship of the South African goldsmiths. MARGUERITE: Yes, I do believe the Monsieur acquired it when he first started his business and was based in South Africa…but why are you all muddy and what are you doing with a basket of mushrooms? ROSE: I noticed that Desiree was preparing Mushroom Bordelaise; she had mentioned that it is St John’s favorite. I was worried that there would not be enough for everyone at dinner so I went to harvest some more. MARGUERITE: Well, Madame has already prepared the Bordelaise and besides you should not worry yourself over such things! I will give the Monsieur his lighter and you hurry to clean yourself before the 14
Madame sees you! (Takes lighter and basket…rushes Rose out) What a ridiculous woman! These are not the kind mushrooms we use for Bordelaise! (Exit with basket to kitchen) (Enter St John with Yves) ST JOHN: Yves, we had a deal! One thousand pounds, that’s it! I don’t care if Dr. Baptiste Jullien is blackmailing you. Besides your formula could greatly improve the family business…isn’t that what you want? YVES: Yes! Of course! But Dr. Baptiste knows that I have been showing you the laboratory…he is demanding much more money! (enter Desiree and Marguerite) DESIREE: St. John! Welcome home, ma Cherie! (crosses to him gives air kiss on each cheek) ST JOHN: Desiree, my love! How are you? Lovely to be back at the Chateau Durand after such a long business trip! But Marguerite, my dear, it looks as if your prepared to feed all of France and England for that matter! MARGUERITE: Oui, Monsieur! I have informed the guests that dinner will be served at seven. They should be arriving shortly! ST JOHN: Guests?! What guests? What is going on Desiree? DESIREE: Oh, St. John! You are going to adore it!! We are having a dinner party to celebrate your returning home and the Chateau’s new décor! I have invited some very special guests…you’ll be so surprised!! (Desiree and Marguerite busy themselves) YVES: (Under his breath to St John) We will continue this conversation, St John. (Takes a seat)
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ST JOHN: Fine, fine, my boy, but after our dinner party… (Lights fade out)
SCENE 2 Lights up: Lotte and Yves are standing by the fireplace. Seymour is sitting in a chair with Rose sitting on the footstool. They are talking. St John and Desiree are sitting on the sofa. Henri enters and hands Desiree a glass of wine DESIREE: Merci! What a Marveilleux party, if I do say so myself! How wonderful to meet Seymour and Lotte! Strange how St. John has never invited you here before! ST JOHN: Well, my dear, I don’t much like to mix business with pleasure! You however don’t seem to mind! YVES: Really! You’ve never been here, Seymour? But Rose was asking me just the other day if you had ever been to the Chateau…I had the impression you might have had a mutual friend. SEYMOUR: Was she really? But Rose and I have never met before. I believe she lived in South Africa for many years. ROSE: Yes, that’s true…though I did have some English friends in the expatriate community. LOTTE: Ach, Really?! At dinner you two seemed to be very focused on each other. You both hardly spoke to anyone else.
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SEYMOUR: Oh, I was merely telling Rose some old stories from when I was stationed in Northern France during the Great War. She was sharing her life in South Africa and how she became interested in interior design. LOTTE: Ja. Rose has certainly made a wonderful job of the décor. So, Rose, you’ve been staying here at the Chateau while St John has been away on his trip? You must know Yves and Henri quite well then? YVES: Yes…Rose and I have met several times. I try to get home from Paris most weekends. ROSE: Desiree engaged my services a couple of months ago when we met in Paris. She kindly invited me to move in while I was working on the Chateau. SEYMOUR: Ah, yes, Parish…Yves, I’m surprised you have the time to come back with that high powered job of yours at the research center. YVES: I make the time…especially when I can look forward to such charming company as Rose. LOTTE: So you’ve never been involved in the wine business, Yves? DESIREE: No, he hasn’t. I’ve always taken care of that side of things so he can focus on his scientific studies. Yves is a child prodigy, you know, he took top honors in biochemistry at the Sorbonne. And now has a prestigious government research job…I am extremely proud of him. Recently, I’ve read in the press that the French government has been developing a revolutionary new weapon, isn’t that brilliant!? There will be no use for it now that the Great War is over, I dare say! But revolutionary none the less! 17
YVES: I wouldn’t know much about that. It’s mostly just propaganda! My business associate, Dr. Baptiste Jullien, is the one who deals with the government. I am focusing so far on my own formula…one that may be able to help the wine industry. It’s a work in progress, though. ..and I’m afraid it’s far from finished. ST JOHN: I wouldn’t worry too much about it, Yves. You’ll finish your formula eventually. And besides it’s a much better use of your time than anything that bloody tosser would ask you to do! I say, you can’t trust a word that Dr. Jullien says, he’s a drunk! An absolute nutter…not to mention a tad dodgy. We’ve invited him to the Chateau before and all he ever does is drink the best of our Zinfandel and tell outlandish tall tales. I can’t stand the man! (Takes out his cigarette and lighter attempting to light it there) DESIREE: Oh! No, St. John! Don’t you dare light that in here! Rose has just finished refurbishing the furniture and I will not have everything saturated in that disgusting tabac of yours! Take it outside! ST JOHN: Alright, my dear, alright… (Exits) SEYMOUR: Well, from what St John has to say, Dr Jullien doesn’t seem to be a very good sort…although, I can’t entirely blame him for being partial to your Zin. I quite like it myself. It’s top notch! Wouldn’t agree, Lotte? LOTTE: Ja! Es ist absolut wunderbar! It is very aromatic and classic! SEYMOUR: Quite right, quite right! You know, Lotte, I hold your opinion in the highest regard. You are the 18
only female wine merchant I’ve ever met, your success is quite impressive. You must be a very strong woman to be able to handle a business like this. LOTTE: Danke, Herr Kingsley! After my two older brothers were killed in the Great War, I persevered and established my own wine business. By doing so I was able to earn the respect of my peers. I was formerly a Civil Service Secretary in Berlin; however, I feel wine is my true passion. As for being strong, I have to admit I am undaunted…most men are weak…I crush them like a toothpick. We are both very smart, I am sure, for we know good wine when we taste it…and St John & Desiree have very good wine! DESIREE: Merci, Lotte…but it really is Henri who deserves the credit! He is such a talented and loyal estate manager… (Enter St John) ST JOHN: Dash it all! I do believe I have a touch of indigestion! Please excuse me everyone…I’m feeling out of sorts and am going to turn in for the night. (sets his lighter on the table and exits) DESIREE: Oh! Alright darling! I hope you feel better! Oh my, you don’t think it was something he ate, do you? ROSE: No. Of course not! Everything was absolutely fabulous! It’s probably a result of his long flight. I remember when my parents would fly me from boarding school to visit them in South Africa. The journey always made me sick. A good long rest is just what he needs! DESIREE: You’re probably right, Rose. It was an awfully long trip for him. 19
HENRI: You should check on him before we all turn in for night to make sure he’s alright, Desiree. ROSE: Ah! How thoughtful of you, Henri! Desiree, you are so lucky to have such a capable, kind, respectable estate manager as Henri. SEYMOUR: Yes, I must say, Henri, everyone on the estate speaks very highly of you. Do you live here on the estate? HENRI: Bein Sur, I have my own lodging by the front gates. I like to see that everything runs smoothly. LOTTE: How long have you been with the family, Henri? HENRI: I first came to the Chateau when I was a young man…still just a boy really…Desiree’s father was most kind to me and treated me like a son. He taught me much about the vineyards…I had never worked in a vineyard before…I knew nothing about making wine. Where I grew up we were mostly small farmers nothing as big as the Chateau. ROSE: Where were you born, Henri? HENRI: In a village in the north of France…you won’t have heard of it…it’s called Bezonvaux …it doesn’t exist anymore. SEYMOUR: Not Bezonvaux! What an incredible coincidence. I knew it well. I was in northern France, you know, during the Great War while I was still in the army. As I recall something quite appalling happened in Bezonvaux. HENRI: I’d rather not talk about it, if you don’t mind. DESIREE: Poor Henri, of course not. It was an outrage! Henri lost all his family, indeed the whole village was lost. The Germans razed the entire place to stop the
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advancing British troops. So many lives destroyed, such a tragedy. ROSE: Oh how terrible! How did you ever escape, Henri? HENRI: I hid in a ditch until the troops, under the command of the sinister Wolfgang Von Schmidt, had passed by and then I left Bezonvaux to find work. I was taken on at the Chateau and haven’t looked back. YVES: That explains why you were acting so strange a few months ago! DESIREE: What do you mean, Yves? YVES: During the last grape harvest, I was helping Henri in a ditch when I noticed he suddenly turned pale and was staring at something above us. I looked up and only saw St John standing a ways off…I was afraid Henri had a bit of heatstroke but it must have brought back some horrific memories being in that ditch! SEYMOUR: Well, Henri, I do hope the passage of time has healed the wound. At any rate, I am quite sure the presence of our lovely fellow guest, Lotte, will encourage you to think better of our old enemy. How did you say you came to know SedgwickSmythe, Lotte? LOTTE: Oh…I was in touch with him when he was based in Johannesburg, South Africa. He had just established his wine business out there. But we didn’t deal in person. A friend of mine who lived in South Africa at the time asked me to try Sedgwick’s wine. Once I did, I knew that it was in my best interest to set up a correspondence with him. 21
DESIREE: Ah! South Africa…my husband speaks very fondly of it. And Rose is always telling me how beautiful it is! She lived there for a time, you know… (Pause) …say why did you leave, Rose? ROSE: Well…you see, something quite dreadful happened to my fiancé, Jem Evans, and I just could not bear to be there any longer. SEYMOUR: You don’t say! I knew Jem when he was but a lad! His father, Martin, and I were in the service together. In 1930, Martin and I decided to set up our own wine business. Terrible thing to happen to his son! I believe that he had been mugged…? I recall his father saying that Jem was a diamond dealer. Terrible, quite terrible indeed! I am sure we are all very sorry for you, Rose, dear. DESIREE: Yes of course, Rose. That’s a horrible occurrence to have happened. (looks at watch) Zut Alors! But we have chatted away the entire night! It’s already one o’clock and we have a very active day ahead of us! We should all get some rest. SEYMOUR: A splendid idea, my dear. I am sure we want to be fresh for your exquisite tasting and tour. Let’s all head off to bed. (Exit all except Yves and Marguerite…knock on door) MARGUERITE: Who could that be at such a late hour? YVES: It’s alright, Marguerite, I’ll answer it. You go on to bed. MARGUERITE: Merci Monsieur! I’ll finish the kitchen and then do just that. (Exit Marguerite…Yves ushers Dr. Baptiste in, who is a little tipsy)
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YVES: Dr. Baptiste! Bonjur! How are you? Is everything alright? (Pause to clear throat) Have you been drinking? DR. BAPTISTE: Never mind that you Voleur! Do not play dumb with me…I know what you have been up to and if you do not meet my demands, I will expose you to everyone! YVES: What are you talking about? I think all that wine has gone to your head! DR. BAPTISTE: No! I know that you have been selling secrets…and I will keep quiet only for the amount that I’ve demanded. YVES: (enraged but fighting to keep composure) Of course, doctor. I understand completely. Now why don’t you wait in the dining room while I go and get your money. (Pours a glass of wine handing both glass and bottle to doctor) Why don’t you take this and relax for a while. I’ll be right back. DR. BAPTISTE: Well, thank you, Yves…But no funny business now! YVES: No never, doctor, never… (Exit doctor) I need a smoke! (Exit Yves) (Enter Lotte) LOTTE: What is this! A document from the German High Command! (She reads) Wolfgang Von Schmidt, you are authorized to raze the village of Bezonvaux to the ground. Spare no one! Who would dare leave me this!? Bosartige Bestie! (Thrusts note into pocket, picks up lighter from table) Dieser Idiot! (Noise off stage) What was that?! (Hides) (Enters Seymour) SEYMOUR: Yves! Yves! I have a proposition for you! Dash it all, he’s not here! (Noise off stage) Now who 23
could that be?! (Dashes to the door…exits but pushes door ajar to listen) ROSE: Blimey! The lighter’s gone! (Hears Desiree yell from off stage) DESIREE: (off stage) St. John! St. John, don’t you dare walk away from me! ROSE: Blast! (Hides) (Enter St John & Desiree) DESIREE: St. John, you did not answer the question! Can you not defend yourself against Henri’s allegations? ST JOHN: Quiet, Desiree, quiet! You don’t know what you’re talking about! I know all about you and Henri! It wouldn’t matter if I did have something to say against him…you’ll believe him over me any day! Now we should terminate this conversation as any one of those guests could be listening! DESIREE: How dare you! How dare you! If I find you have dishonored my family name and sullied my beloved father’s name as a patriot of France, I will kill you! (Exit Desiree, then St John…Seymour comes out from behind door and exits.. Lotte comes out of hiding and exits…followed by Rose) (enter Dr. Baptiste very drunk…stumbles around and knocks over lamp…lights Dim.. enter Henri) HENRI: Now I have you Wolfgang Von Schmidt! I will avenge my family!! (Hits Dr. Baptiste over the head with a bottle of wine knocking him out…Desiree enters and turns on lights) DESIREE: Henri!! What have you done! Idiot!
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HENRI: I thought it was your husband! I am sorry…I let myself get carried away…but help me get rid of him! (They drag Dr. Baptiste off stage) (Enter Yves and Seymour) SEYMOUR: You see my boy! You don’t need St John after all…we can do business together. And I will take care of St John myself. But we can discuss this tomorrow. (They exit) (Enter Lotte and St John) LOTTE: Your last shipment was not satisfactory. May I remind you that my associates are most particular about the quality of goods and would not look kindly upon your selling the best samples elsewhere? It is fortunate for you that you followed my instructions and got rid of Jem Evans in South Africa. Remember that you owe your new life in Parish all to me. Why did you not get rid of Jem’s lighter? Must I do everthing? ST JOHN: (now with German accent) Do not fret Kommandant! I’ve got some sucker under my thumb. Trust me…he’s on to something really big this time…the culmination of his life’s work. And just think, he still believes it’s all for the family vineyard. (Chuckles) We will finish the business tomorrow. Now you should get back to your room before anyone should miss either of us. LOTTE: (turns to leave) Do not disappoint me, Wolfgang, or I shall be forced to treat you the way you treated Jem! (Exit Lotte and St John…Yves peaks head in to see if coast is clear then enters) YVES: Ce Menteur diabolique! (Exit Yves following St John…enter Marguerite clearing away glasses…enter Lotte bandaging her hand) 25
MARGUERITE: Oh Mademoiselle! What happened to your hand? Oh that looks bad…would you like me to help you? LOTTE: No, Liebling, I’m alright. I simply cut myself. I’ve got it well taken care of. (Exit Lotte…followed by a loud crash off stage) MARGUERITE: Sacre Blu! What could that be? Not a burglar, I hope! So many strange things going on in this house!! (Continues to clean) (Enter Seymour with a pistol) MARGUERITE: (looks up, sees gun) Ah! Monsieur Seymour, how brave of you to check up on Mademoiselle Lotte! I heard that crash too! I thought it was a burglar! You are such a gentleman…risking your own safety like this! SEYMOUR: What? ... Oh, yes, that’s exactly what my intent was…to attend to Miss Lotte should she be in need of my service. Neither she nor the intruder appear to be in her room…however, I will survey the premises and capture that miscreant! (Exits) MARGUERITE: Oh what courage! What Valor!! (Checks to make sure he is gone) What absolute crap! Bravery my Beret! This house is filled with lunatics! But what can you do, c’est la vie! (Exit with glasses) (Enter Yves) YVES: What was Lotte’s belt buckle doing in my room? What did she want in my room? (Looks around) Wait! Where is Dr. Baptiste? I must find him! (Exit) (Enter Dr. Baptiste) DR. BAPTISTE: I say, Yves, this wine is delicious! Yves! Yves! Now where did he go? Oh, well… (Spots bottle of wine) …I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have one
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more glass of wine. (Stumbles into something) Oops! (Enter Marguerite) MARGUERITE: (sees doctor…grabs bottle of wine) Take that Burglar!! (Hits doctor over the head) You Scoundrel!! (Exits) (Enter Rose) ROSE: (carrying hammer) Where are you St John? I know you’re in here! I will avenge my dear Jem! (Lifts hammer) What’s this!? Blood!! Eeeww! (Drops hammer) I must wash myself! (Exit) (Lights go off)
SCENE 3 Lights up…everyone is on stage in living room except Marguerite, St John, Dr. Baptiste, and Detective Jock DESIREE: Bonjour everyone! I trust you all slept well? SEYMOUR: Quite well indeed, my dear Desiree…quite well indeed. ROSE: Yes! It’s extremely lovely to be able to smell the grape blossoms through my window. It’s simply delightful! LOTTE: Ja! They are very wunderlich and I have honeysuckle growing outside my window…the aromas have mixed nicely. Also, there were some birds chirping outside this morning…but once I through my shoe at them they ceased the noise! (Everyone stares at Lotte dismayed) What? It was a joke. DESIREE: Oh…but of course, Lotte! (laugh) Quite funny! I wonder why St. John is not up yet? He knew we would be starting at twelve o’clock on the spot…and 27
here it is already eleven fifty! He should be here by now! HENRI: Do not fret, Desiree, we can get started without St John. When he wakes he can join us. YVES: Henri is right…besides St John was not feeling well last night he can use all the rest he can get. SEYMOUR: Quite right! And you know what they say, my dear, Time Waits for No Man! St John will join us presently I’m sure! DESIREE: I suppose we should get started then. (Scream is heard off stage) (Enter Marguerite…frantic) MARGUERITE: He’s dead!! He’s dead!! Monsieur St John is dead!! He’s been murdered!! (Lights Out) End of ACT ONE
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ACT TWO SCENE 1 Lights Up…A few hours after St John’s body has been discovered… Everyone is on stage who was on stage at the end of Act 1 DESIREE: (now dressed all in black) Quelle Catastrophe! My poor darling St. John! What a terrible thing to have happen! SEYMOUR: Desiree, it’s a dashed awful thing to happen to the old boy! Quite sudden too! Although he did not look well when he headed to his room…quite green in the face as it were. MARGUERITE: Oh! What will we do!? The Monsieur is dead! Face down in his finest Zinfandel! Oh, No!! (Sobs uncontrollably) YVES: Marguerite, dear, go into the kitchen and get yourself something to calm your nerves. (Ushers Marguerite out) DESIREE: Did St. John mention anything to you, Lotte? You two seemed to be chatting away at dinner last night…anyone would think you’d been intimates for years… LOTTE: Oh, I don’t know about that. He didn’t seem to be in very good form last night. It’s a shame he could not really enjoy that wonderful looking mushroom dish you prepared especially for him, Desiree. YVES: You’re right, Lotte. He did seem out of sorts. Not like himself at all. And I recall him saying he had indigestion when he left for bed. 29
ROSE: Oh my! I expected he was just tired from his long journey…what a horrible thing to happen! LOTTE: Ja, tired and rather clumsy. Though I could have sworn it was you, Rose, who knocked the wine over his glove at dinner. ROSE: I don’t know which of us it was. But I do feel awful…embarrassing him like that. Particularly as Desiree mentioned that he always wore gloves to cover his hands. SEYMOUR: I say, what happened to his hand? When Rose pulled off his wine stained glove last night at dinner, I noticed he had part of a finger missing…but I didn’t want to ask him about it at the table. YVES: St John always said it was a war wound though he would never be drawn on exactly where he lost his finger. I can tell you, I often remarked to Desiree how little she knew about her husband’s past before he arrived in Paris. DESIREE: Yves! How can you say such things when my poor darling has so lately breathed his last? HENRI: Desiree, console yourself, please! I think we are missing the big picture here. St John is dead! We are the only ones here…one of us is a murderer! Doorbell rings…everyone is frozen with fear… finally Desiree gets up an answers the door enter Detective Jock McHenry J. MCHENRY: I heard you were in need of a certain kind of professional, someone with my particular set of skills. As you can tell, I’m not from these parts. I’m Investigator Jock McHenry from Scotland Yard. I 30
heard that my services were required so I hurried over. Ladies and Gentlemen I realize you’ve all had a terrible shock. Your host, St John Sedgwick-Smythe, who you expected to be here to greet you at today’s wine tasting, has been found dead in one of his own wine vats. I must inform you that, as of late, you are all suspects in a murder. DESIREE: Oh! How could this happen! My dear St. John! Who would do such a thing!? J. MCHENRY: We can’t at this time be certain of how St John died, but one thing is for sure, he met with a violent and untimely death. (Lights fade out)
SCENE 2 Lights Up… only moments later…everyone is in a different place on stage J. MCHENRY: From what I have gathered, your host St John Sedgwick-Smythe had only just returned from a two month business trip. His wife, your hostess, Desiree, had planned a surprise gathering to welcome him home and to celebrate the refurbishment of the Chateau. You all met at dinner last night and were to enjoy a pre-luncheon wine tasting at noon today. You all had a late night and slept in this morning. When you met in the living room today, as previously planned, you expected St John to be here to greet you. When he did not join you, it was thought that he was late in rising. You decided to proceed with the wine tasting as planned 31
expecting Sedgwick-Smythe to join you later. You were just heading off when Marguerite, the maid, screamed and ran in announcing the death of Sedgwick-Smythe. Who murdered him and what was their motive? Let’s start with you, Desiree, did you have a good relationship with your husband? DESIREE: Why…of course I did. St. John had a great head for business. He saved the family vineyard with his connections. Shipping out to South Africa, England, Germany, Belgium…he even had plans to expand into America. We loved each other very much! ROSE: That does not seem like love to me. That sounds more like a business deal. Desiree and St John had separate rooms! YVES: You and St John barely spoke! He was hardly ever around…always off on business trips…he never once invited you to go with him. ROSE: But that’s the way she likes it, Yves, with St John away she can run the Chateau just the way she wants…with Henri by her side! Desiree consults with Henri about everything and he hangs on her every word. DESIREE: What would you know about it, Rose? So my relationship with my husband wasn’t perfect…does that make me a murderer? Besides, Rose, you should not be the one pointing out evasive answers concerning relationships considering you obviously know Seymour Kingsley more than you let on! ROSE: Yes…my late fiancé, Jem Evans, had a regular business correspondence with Seymour. I’ve never
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met him until now and after Jem died in suspicious circumstances, I didn’t think it was relevant. J. MCHENRY: Well, Desiree, it appears as if you had a very good business relationship with the deceased but was that enough? And are you overly attached to your estate manager, Henri? If so, what is your relationship with him? DESIREE: Certainly not! And I have never been so insulted as to be accused of dishonoring my family name and my husband by having an affair. I will admit that Henri has a certain devotion for me and when we were younger there may have been emotions which surpassed what they should have; however, it did not continue after my marriage to St. John. Although the passion for my husband after these several years has diminished…St. John and I knew it was in our best interest to have the marriage survive as a business partnership. So what’s wrong with that? LOTTE: It’s a little more than that, Desiree. Yesterday, I overheard you and Henri in the kitchen. He asked you how it went and you replied, “I haven’t had a chance yet. I’ll try again later. Just be patient.” What’s your explanation for that? SEYMOUR: Last night you had a heated argument with St John as well. Your last words to him were that if he sullied your father’s reputation, you would kill him. Maybe you made good on your threat! LOTTE: During that argument, I heard you mention Henri’s name…if nothing was going on between you why would he be an object of contempt in your relationship with St John? 33
J. MCHENRY: It’s about time you started telling the truth, Mrs. Sedgwick-Smythe. This weekend was not as it appears. You had something more monumental on your mind than a party for fancy curtains and the home coming of a husband whose arrival you’ve never cared about before. So what do you have to say for yourself? DESIREE: Fine! No…this weekend was not about celebrating. Henri recently suggested that my husband’s business is not as it appears. I was unsure whether he had just grounds for his suspicions or if he was making the accusations in hope of rekindling our past. I arranged this weekend to test St. John’s reactions when confronted with his long-term business associates whom I had not previously met. But I never expected to wake up and find my husband murdered…that was not part of my plan! J. MCHENRY: I see…so what sort of accusations were you making, Henri? And were there just grounds for them or simply to acquire the attentions of your Mistress? HENRI: That, Mon Ami, is a direct insult to my pride. I am well respected for my loyalty to the Chateau and would never do anything to jeopardize the business. While supervising St John’s jealously guarded bottling plant during his absence, I uncovered certain irregularities in the labeling process which suggested that he had been abusing his position knowing that Desiree would never approve of such a blatant disregard for honor and respectability, I simply informed her of what I had found. Anxious to hear
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what St John had to say on the matter, I repeatedly asked Desiree how her conversations with him went. ROSE: There is nothing simple about that, Henri. And you did more than just inform Desiree, you took action…last month you were in something of a frenzy relabeling all the bottles which St John had prepared prior to his departure. HENRI: Speaking of actions, Rose, your incident with the spilled wine I suspect was no accident! Why was it so important for you to pull off his glove and reveal his missing finger? What could you possibly gain from embarrassing him in such a fashion? Unless his deform had some significance for you! YVES: Rose was also showing an inappropriate level of interest in St John’s background. While decorating St John’s study, in his absence, she came across his gold cigarette lighter and she seemed mesmerized by it. She insisted on knowing where he had gotten it. I told her as far as I knew he had obtained it in South Africa. I thought it was odd but brushed it off thinking she was just nosy. Now, however, I wonder if they met many years ago in South Africa? DESIREE: So I am not the only one with some skeletons in my closet, hmm, Rose? You have been acting suspicious as well…rummaging through my husband’s things when he is away. Sneaking around the Chateau and spying on people. What exactly were you harvesting yesterday afternoon in the vineyards and where did you put them? (Enter Marguerite) MARGUERITE: Oh! Mademoiselle Rose was harvesting mushrooms! She said that they were for your 35
Bordelaise but when I looked in the basket they were the wrong kind of mushrooms. They were not prized truffles that we use…they were highly toxic European destroying angels. I think Mademoiselle Rose should stick to redecorating and not try her hand at cooking! LOTTE: Rose was the one who insisted she get your bordelaise from the kitchen last night! And St John did go to bed early complaining of indigestion. Rose would have had ample time to put the destroying angel in St John’s meal! DESIREE: You’re right, Lotte! Marguerite, go fetch the basket of mushrooms for me! MARGUERITE: I’m sorry, Madame, but the basket was empty last night when I was cleaning the kitchen. I was going to throw them out but since they were gone I just burnt the basket as we would not use it again. DESIREE: You!! You poisoned my husband!! What kind of monster are you?! ROSE: Oh…I’m the monster? What about your husband? I gave that cigarette lighter to my dear fiancé, Jem. I recognized it right away! I knew Jem would never have parted with it for anything! I believed Jem to be a diamond merchant but on our engagement he confided to me that he was a British agent sent to pass misinformation to the Germans. Jem had regular meetings with a contact who was connected to the wine trade and had a finger missing on his left hand. Jem was meeting this contact the day he mysteriously disappeared. When they found his body they ruled it a mugging but I never believed 36
that! I know that Jem met with his horrific death by ways of that ruthless brute! They must have uncovered his concealing the truth and silenced him for it. So, yes, once I saw St John’s deformed finger…plus him having Jem’s lighter in his possession…I knew he was that terrible man who took everything from me! I put the destroying angel in his meal and was not at all displeased to see that they were working toward the end of the night! (lights fade) SCENE 3 Lights up J. MCHENRY: We have been able to uncover some very interesting things. It seems as if you all have something to hide. Rose has confessed to poisoning Sedgwick-Smythe and the toxic mushrooms were weakening him, however they were not the cause of his death. I have now been able to conduct an examination of the body and although he was found in a vat of wine…drowning was not the cause of death. The mushrooms were at work in his system and if this toxin had been in his blood stream for a number of hours, it might well have proved fatal. However, the effectivity of the poison will have to remain a mystery for, alas, the life of St John Sedgwick-Smythe was cut short by other means. He did in fact die from a vicious head wound. The result of a heavy blunt object…the murder weapon has not yet been found. Who would be so brutal…so full of hatred?
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DESIREE: Well, if it wasn’t Rose and her toxic mushrooms, who did kill my husband? YVES: My dear sister, Rose has not been the only one sneaking around. Yesterday afternoon before the guests arrived I saw Henri enter Lotte’s room with a letter but he emerged without it. What was in that letter, Lotte? LOTTE: Bosartige Bestie! You left this outrage in my room?! A document from the German high command authorizing Wolfgang Von Schmidt to raze the village of Bezonvaux sparing no one. Signed by the German high command of the Imperial Army Adalwolf Frederick Beckmann, my father. YVES: Henri, why would you leave such a horrifying tradgic note unless you had incriminating evidence against Lotte and our dear departed St John? HENRI: Oui! I confirmed my suspicions about SedgwickSmythe during the grape harvest! While we were toiling in that ditch, I looked up and saw St John, he had once removed his gloves…I recognized him in a flash as none other than Wolfgang Von Schmidt, the German officer, who ordered the destruction of my home. I discovered microfilm concealed behind wine labels in certain shipments to Lotte and Seymour. I was unable to decode the film but I surmised that neither of them could really be wine merchants. I did some digging through the International Wine Merchant Directory and noticed there was no entry for Seymour Kingsley before 1933 and due to Lotte’s connections in the German high command, I have deduced that they must be spies!! 38
ROSE: Yes! I too suspected Seymour to be a spy! While I was going through Jem’s effects after his tragic death, I found a letter from Seymour Kingsley embossed with a special seal. Helping to clear Desiree’s desk Friday morning, I identified the same seal on his reply to Desiree’s invitation which confirmed his past connection with Jem. Through that letter I learned that Jem was afraid that the German contact had found out that he was passing misinformation. That it was by Seymour’s orders that Jem keep usual rendezvous with this brute or the entire Intelligence Network in South Africa would be exposed. He promised to keep Jem safe and told him not to blow his cover by failing to trade as planned. Seymour said to trust them to take care of matters! But Jem did follow orders and look where it got him…Jem would still be alive if you had kept your promise!! J. MCHENRY: Well, Seymour Kingsley, it seems you’re not the distinguished wine merchant you claim to be. From what we have heard it sounds like you’re willing to devalue one life for the good fo the system. Maybe you saw St John Sedgwick-Smythe as expendable? SEYMOUR: Well, dash it all! I suppose I’ve been found out. Yes, I was running a Johannesburg spy ring from London in 1920. Jem was one of my best agents so I sent him in to pass misinformation to the Germans under the cover of being a diamond merchant. I sent the material in code disguised as payment for diamonds. In ’29 I was informed by intelligent sources that Jem’s contact had uncovered the ruse. I 39
set Jem up to attend one final meeting with the German to allay his suspicions while I restructured the network. Yes…I knew it was dangerous to Jem but I was willing to sacrifice him to protect my other agents. Jem knew when he entered the business what would be at stake. He knew if the deal went bad that I would chose the side with the least amount of casualties. I’m English…I’m not a bloody musketeer! There’s no all for one in an agency like ours! J. MCHENRY: No, I supposed not! But if you’re not a wine merchant then what is your connection with St John Sedgwick-Smythe? We know that he wasn’t who he appeared to be, however, there is no real evidence to suggest that he was in fact the contact of Jem Evans or that he was Wolfgang Von Schmidt. Just a missing finger and two witnesses who had never met him…one who did not recognize him until after the removal of his gloves. Not his face, not his voice, nothing! Strange…wouldn’t you say, but why were you dealing with him? What did he have for you? SEYMOUR: I first met Sedgwick-Smythe in 1933 while I was in Paris. I was looking for a French or British sympathizer to pass French defense information. Sedgwick-Smythe fit the bill especially because of his government connections through his wife’s family, so I recruited him. He was able to transfer information using wine shipments so I adopted the persona of a British wine merchant. I have been suspicious for some time now, that all was not well at the Chateau Durand and was quite glad of the 40
chance to see for myself. I received a note from Sedgwick-Smythe asking me to meet him at 2 am in the cellar to discuss terms for the sale of the formula. As I was on my way to the cellar for my meeting with St John, I overheard he and Lotte in the living room. I considered hiding until Lotte had gone and keeping my appointment with St John, however, I could smell Rose’s perfume around the corridor and decided to make myself scarce. Besides I had already set a plan in motion to deal directly with Yves, the brilliant creator of the formula. DESIREE: Yves! How could you!! So all Dr. Baptiste’s allegations were correct. You have been showing St. John around the laboratory without authorization and you’ve been selling secret information to him?! YVES: Desiree, please! You must understand, St John told me that my formula could greatly improve the family vineyard…that it would put us immensely ahead of the competition. Please believe I just wanted to help you! DESIREE: Oh…Yves, I understand completely…You can’t be blamed. You were only trying to help. YVES: Yes but it was all a lie! St John was selling to Seymour and Lotte. He played me for a fool! I overheard St John’s conversation with Lotte. She said that his last shipment was not satisfactory and that if he didn’t deliver she would have to treat him like he treated Jem. Then he assured her that he would fix the mistake and called her Kommandant. J. MCHENRY: So, Miss Lotte, you’ve been awfully quiet over there. Do you have anything to say for yourself? LOTTE: I make no comment! 41
YVES: She also had Jem’s lighter and asked St John why he had not disposed of it. It was quite a heated conversation and Lotte was not pleased as she left. J. MCHENRY: The evidence is piling against you, Miss Lotte, are you sure you want to stick to your no comment stance? What is your connection with Jem Evans and how well did you really know St John Sedgwick-Smythe? And what significance did Jem’s lighter have for you? LOTTE: Indeed, I have spent the majority of my career in the German Secret Service. I recruited Wolfgang Von Schmidt for a top secret mission. I sent him to South Africa as an undercover agent posing as a German wine merchant. He had been my father’s most respected officer so I knew I could trust him to be effective and to show the least amount of compassion should he be forced to eliminate someone. Wolfgang’s mission was to extract information from a British agent. I found that the diamond dealer was passing useless information so I gave Von Schmidt the order to terminate him. J. MCHENRY: You have revealed a lot about our host St John’s shadowy past. You gave the order to dispose of Jem so you must have recognized the lighter to be his property and realized that either Seymour or Rose would notice it eventually. But why risk so much in the first place? Why come to the Chateau at all? LOTTE: I never planned to…after giving Wolfgang a new identity as St John Sedgwick-Smythe, a British wine merchant, I directed him against any face to face contact with me. I then instructed him to infiltrate 42
Desiree’s family in order to gain access to French Government secrets. We communicated through code letters, however, in recent months the information passed has been pitifully inadequate. I suspected that he was dealing elsewhere so when I received the invitation, I was determined to come and sort him out. J. MCHENRY: I see. Yes…and did you? Sort him out, I mean? LOTTE: I was not pleased with the excuses he gave me, saying it was the simple mistake of disorderly shipping...that they must have shipped the wrong bottles out. This I did not believe but I decided to give him another chance. I make threat to ensure he would not double cross me. J. MCHENRY: If you didn’t kill St John…what did you do after your conversation with him? LOTTE: I went to my room. You should get lots of rest when you’re as beautiful as me. It was already very late and I did not want to look haggard in the morning. SEYMOUR: That’s absolute rubbish!! You were not in your room and I should know! I had planned on shooting you as you slept, however, I was foiled as you were not there! LOTTE: How gentlemanly of you! Maybe I did make a stop or two once I considered the remarks Henri had made and his connection with the village of Bezonvaux…the need to silence him was obvious. However, my mission was thwarted as he was not at his lodge. Besides, I cut my hand on a pane of glass and it required immediate attention. On my 43
way to the kitchen to retrieve something for my hand, I passed Yves room. I had already deduced that Yves must be St John informant and decided to get the formula from him by whatever means necessary. Alas, he was not there either and by this time my hand was in great pain so I left and lost my shoe buckle in the process. J. MCHENRY: Neither one of you were in your rooms at the time…where exactly were you? Perhaps bludgeoning St John to death?! HENRI: Noooo. I was supervising the cleaning of the kitchen which took an hour or so…just ask Marguerite! MARGUERITE: Oui, he was supervising if that’s what you want to call it. More like enjoying his position as my superior. But no he did not leave except to put the bottle of Zinfandel that was not used at dinner back on the wine rack and that was not for very long…about fifteen minutes. Certainly not enough time to make it out to the cellar, beat the Monsieur to death, and get back here without looking at all flustered. J. MCHENRY: No…not very plausible I should think…none the less it is still a possibility. But we can’t excuse Monsieur Yves from the suspects yet. Where were you when Miss Lotte (clears throat) dropped in? YVES: I must have been outside…Desiree does not like me to smoke inside. She does not like the smell and claims it will seep into the furniture. I may have been gone for five to ten minutes.
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J. MCHENRY: Aye, that high powered job of yours as a government research biochemist must be very stressful. However, it seems you have not been entirely trustworthy in protecting the confidentiality of your work. From what we have learned you have been giving Sedgwick-Smythe unauthorized access to your government research laboratory for some time now. And I don’t suppose you would take a risk so massive for nothing? We also know that your colleague, Dr. Baptiste Jullien, was aware of your dealings. He was not likely to let you get away with such things without acquiring something for himself, was he? YVES: I gave that buffoon of a scientist plenty of money for his silence. J. MCHENRY: I don’t doubt that you did. But he was not satisfied. He even made it known to your sister what you were up to. He was blackmailing you, Yves, he wanted more. The solution was simple…ask your brother-in-law for just a little more money. YVES: Oui, Baptiste said he would report what I was doing to the government. I had to pay him off and St John was happy to oblige. J. MCHENRY: Was he? Was he really? MARGUERITE: Sacre Blu! What is that? (everyone looks where she is pointing) J. MCHENRY: (inspecting the item he lifts it with a pen) This is the murder weapon! LOTTE: I saw Rose carrying that through the corridor on my way to the kitchen! She must be the murderer!! ROSE: No, no…I did not hit St John with the hammer. I’ll admit that when I found the hammer behind the 45
wine barrel outside, I did intend to assault St John in his room. I thought I was following him into the living room but I just have been mistaken. When I saw the blood, I was so disgusted that I dropped the hammer and left…and let’s not forget that you and Seymour have been trying to kill almost everyone here! HENRI: Exactly! You see, Desiree, I was correct in my suspicions! Seymour and Lotte are rival secret agents not respectable wine merchants as St John had you so believe. DESIREE: Mon dieu! St John was dealing with both of them…a double agent. How could I be so blind!! YVES: Did either of you know that St John was a double crosser…it would not surprise me if you plotted his demise had you found out! SEYMOUR: I say, old boy, what about you? Your dealings with him make you a traitor! LOTTE: Ja! And you were under pressure from Dr. Baptiste to pay up! Maybe St John thought he had given you enough and wouldn’t pay any more! DESIREE: I am positive Yves did not think he was doing anything wrong…after all it was his research. And I don’t approve of your accusing tone! Casting shame on the respectability and honor of my family! And in my own home no less! SEYMOUR: Desiree, you must let Yves fight his own battles…he must learn to stand up for himself. You can’t protect him forever! I know all about one incident at the Sorbonne…Yves violently attacked a fellow student and you and your father hushed it up. He is prone to violent outbursts if anyone is a murderer, it’s him! 46
DESIREE: That was a simple misunderstanding. Yves was just trying to be polite to a girl…he is terribly shy…when her boyfriend misinterpreted it, there were words exchanged and one thing led to another resulting in Yves beating him unconscious. It was clearly the other student’s fault! My father and I decided it was best to get him some treatment…besides he had never been the same after my mother died. Yves has improved greatly since starting treatment with Dr. Ian…the medication he prescribed has done wonders! LOTTE: This medication you mean? It has not been opened! I found it in Yves waste basket while I was searching for the formula! It was prescribed two months ago! DESIREE: Yves! You’ve stopped your treatment? That’s why you’ve been smoking so much! How could you…you promised Papa and me that you would keep going until you got better! YVES: I didn’t need it anymore, Desiree, I’m all better…really, I’m fine! Besides I’m a grown man…I can make my own decisions! I don’t need you to protect me all the time…I’m not as incompetent as you think! SEYMOUR: I say…come to that, how do we know that you didn’t kill St John, Desiree, to protect your brother and precious family honor? ROSE: Or maybe she and Henri plotted the whole thing together…they were lovers after all! HENRI: I wasn’t the only one to recognize St John as Von Schmidt…you knew who he was as well. Perhaps you finally had your revenge…he did murder your fiancé after all. 47
ROSE: Well we all know that you were obsessed with tracking Von Schmidt down to avenge your family and home! LOTTE: You were also jealous that St John married your beloved Desiree and was in control of the vineyard which had been under your care for so long. DESIREE: Oh! As if you should be accusing anyone, Lotte! You’re the one who instructed my husband to kill Jem Evans. St John was a loose end that you had to tie up…maybe you killed him to be done with the whole business! LOTTE: I am not the only one who had motive to kill…Seymour had unfinished business with him as well. Perhaps it was in retaliation for the murder of Jem! SEYMOUR: Now see here, Lotte, we need to look at the cold hard facts! (all speaking at once) YVES: I believe it was Rose! LOTTE: It was most definitely Henri! HENRI: Lotte’s the one with the most killing experience! DESIREE: It was Seymour…he’s the only one who would bring a pistol to a dinner party! J. MCHENRY: Shut It!! It’s no secret that you all are raving lunatics but you’re not all mental enough to kill. You all had motive but who acted upon their desire for blood? (enter Dr. Baptiste still drunk) DR. BAPTISTE: I know who did it! I watched them! The tall Englishman came out of the house and was surprised by his assailant…”You dirty rat how could you? I trusted you!” to which the Englishman condescendingly replied, “that just shows you never trust anybody” then he started to walk away 48
laughing…Hehehe! The attacker picked something up from a top the wine barrel…flies at the Englishman and wildly starts beating him with it. He never saw it coming…He…he…wine…he he! (Looks down at his empty glass sad faced) could someone fill me up please? All: Who did it?! (Yves sneaks behind Dr. Baptiste with a bottle of wine in his hand) DR. BAPTISTE: Oh…right, right…it was Yves!! (At this moment Yves bashes Dr Baptiste over the head with the bottle and everything goes dark)
End of Play
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Property List Gold Cigarette Lighter Wine Glasses Bottles of wine – Full Bottle of wine (To hit an actor with) Note Pad Dinner Plates Telephone Basket Flowers Letter
Sound Effects Doorbell Telephone ring
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