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impulse
HOW TO
Spotify Stalk your Ex Some may use Spotify solely to stream their favourite songs. Me? I used it as a window into my ex’s heart, which in turn, healed my own. Words by Jessica Matthewson
A
1. Dissecting Each Song This little experiment had me imagining exactly what it must be like to be the unfortunate ex of any great artist. Hearing exactly how the breakup felt through their eyes and finding yourself positioned as the villain. I began to scrutinise each song, line by line, like a crazed conspiracy theorist. A tune ingrained in my mind was Moon Song by Phoebe Bridgers, one of the most lyrically cut-throat tracks in the indie artist’s repertoire. This one hurt especially because the moon had always been a symbol of our relationship. Except, I guess, the moon doesn’t leave you on a random Thursday in September. This step requires some real analytical thinking, and no idea is too out there. If I want to believe that each line of a song is related to my relationship, then hey, let me live!
brutal breakup that lasted about the same time as Joe Jonas’ infamous 27-second dumping with Taylor Swift. With all my items stuffed in a sad, little Tesco bag, and one last look before she left the door, I was officially a single woman once again. Now, I saw it coming, let it be known. I’d spent the morning dramatically crying to a breakup playlist that I had already made, wearing the hoodie she gave me in the first week. I looked through our nine months’ worth of pictures and videos, trying to place the exact moment it all went wrong. Each fake smile after a fight, it all seemed pathetic now. The next morning, I woke up, expecting a text that, of course, wasn’t there. I put the necklace she got me around my neck, a little too tightly, and opened my laptop to play the breakup playlist once again. I looked at my friend activity, and there was her name with the blue circle indicating she was online. My heart dropped, 2. Creating a Dialogue realising life was still carrying on for her. Life without me. I clicked on The next step is all about having a her page and was met with a breakup playlist of her own. Using two fingers, sufficient narcissistic trait to believe I scrolled down an hour-long list of that your ex might be listening to the exact same songs you’ve been playsongs that my twisted mind related to me and, from there, I was officially ing. In that crazy way, you can have a obsessed.
conversation. If I listened to Hello by Adele, then she would play Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt. Or when I played Forever by Lewis Capaldi, the reply that came through was Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish. To those who say
childish, I would retort: genius. Breakups are hard because you lose a best friend. The constant conversation you have with a lover, each intimate detail of your day that gets shared, suddenly has nowhere to go. Allowing each other access to still hear what we both had to say gave me a certain peace. I was still very much a prevalent thought.
