Peer Ink 2024

Dear Fellow Peers, Let’s celebrate National Mental Health Awareness Month with the release of the Spring 2024 Issue of Peer Ink. It has been many trials and tribulations to get this magazine become a reality. We have done newsletters before but we wanted to try something new. Something fresh. Something that you don’t see out there in the “peer” world”. This project has come from a dream. The beginning of the January of 2016, the Board of HUG ME Ink had discussed the possibility of doing a newsletter. We had a newsletter in the early years of our formation. But we kept saying to ourselves, “it’s been already done”. Too many other mental health organizations we knew had newsletters. For the start of a new year, we knew someone new needed to be added to the peer movement. After throwing ideas around, Peer Ink was formed.

As we are going into our 11th Anniversary, we wanted to bring forth once again our Peer Ink Magazine, the voice of Peers by Peers This magazine is a creative tool for our peers and allies in the mental health field to come together to express themselves. As you read our magazine, we hope you enjoy the numerous articles, stories, art work and more from your fellow peers as well as the numerous ads that help make this project a reality.

We are always looking for more peers to get involved with submitting materials to be included in upcoming issues. Again, thank you for taking the time to read this issue of Peer Ink and we hope you will consider to subscribe to our magazine or even submit material. It’s time for there to be a literary work that is also a voice for Peers by Peers.

Sincerely, Nicholas Holstein Peer Ink, Editor HUG ME Ink, Executive Artistic Director

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STAFF

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Editor NICHOLAS B . HOLSTEIN

Wellness begins with WE………………………….4-5 Time To Turn the Channel………………………….6

Co-Editor

Until the Dragons Come…………….……………...7-9 Spotlight On………………………………………...10-11

HEATHER TEMPLETON

Stayin’ Alive……...…………………………….....13 Publisher

What is Art Therapy?................................................15

ALLEGRA

The Art of Macro Social Work……………………..22 SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: Peer Ink is looking for original poems, stories, articles or art work for upcoming issues.

If you are interested In submitting, please adhere to the following guidelines: ARTICLES & STORIES: Send as a Word doc and on any topic you feel would benefit peers to include wellness, health, peer specialist movement, etc ART WORK: Send art work (photography, drawing, etc) as JPEG or PNG file POEMS: Send as a Word doc on any topic With all submissions, please include a short bio and photo (optional), please send to hugmeink@gmail.com.

Photographer HEATHER TEMPLTON Cover Art Designed By ALBERTO MOTA Contributing Writers DANIELLE CARTY

NICHOLAS HOLSTEIN All articles, poems, photographs, stories and content are all property of HUG ME Ink and Peer Ink as well as each writer’s personal ownership.

If you wish to use a photograph, article or any of the work in this magazine, please request in writing to HUG ME Ink at hugmeink@gmail.com your permission request or contact the author personally.

No part of this magazine may be re-printed without written consent from HUG

JAKE LEE LEDESMA CHRIS W. MARTIN JIM MARTIN DANIEL J. OPPENHEIMER HEATHER TEMPLETON Contributing Artists:

ANNA BARFUSS PAM BATES ALYSSA BOWMAN CATHERINE COHEN REBECCA ENGLE ELIZABETH ISRAELSEN JENNIFER RANDAL-THORPE AMELIA TALBOT

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Wellness begins with WE.

By Jim Martin When someone is in trouble, I think the first thing they want to hear is “I’ll take You.” The word “hospitality” begins with “hospital” and ends in “ity.” ITY = I’ll Take You. It is reassuring to know that the hospital will take you in when things in your life go wrong and you are stressed out by life without rest or relief. Sometimes people end up in the emergency room mainly due to having no place to go during a crisis.

From my perspective as an advocate for the poor and providing direct services to the severely mentally ill and the prior substance abusers of our communities in Sussex County, I see some of our most vulnerable down-state Delawareans falling through the cracks of our social support system.

Our self-help (peer helping peer) center is set up to welcome the stranger who feels isolated with nowhere else to turn when in need for support. The A.C.E. CENTER provides an immediate place at the table for people who fall through the cracks of our healthcare system. We look into their eyes at our front door and say “we see you.” We are open 8 am to 4 pm Monday to Friday and there is no appointment necessary and there are no fees.

There is immediate engagement and a searching for an answer to the crisis at hand. Are you thirsty? Do you need a hot shower? Are you hungry? Do you have a doctor? Do you need to fill a prescription? Do you need transportation?

A drink of cool water? A hug? A bus pass? Do you need to take a nap? Someone is the hallway at the ACE Center serves as the person’s “fixer-er” who navigates the person in need toward some immediate answers to change the crisis into a solve-able problem that we can all work on together. We do all the non-medical tasks and then refer the medical tasks to our community health center, La Red. If items are needed some of us jump on social media to resource the community. We discuss shared living and ride sharing ideas. We gather together the needed provisions for immediate survival. We reach out to our network of caring community members and the needy stranger we just met gets plugged in with our known networks of love and kindness.

Life is messy but we learn the most by sitting with the person in need. I think we need to create more welcoming places with no appointment necessary staffed with volunteers with lived experience. We need a place that is always open and ready to serve anyone in need immediately. We have lots of potential loving “hallway monitor” folks who will meet the “patient” right at the door and sit next to them in the “comfort room” to quietly talk about the crisis.

We may need to provide care to folks who are having a “bad thinking day” or maybe it turns out to be just a bad hair day.

These welcoming places should be universal and general in scope and placed in every community. A close example of this kind of place was executed this past winter in communities across Delaware. We call them “code purple sanctuary” locations which opened to keep people from freezing to death. But our healthy welcome centers would be open all year long, not just in the freezing weather. It would be a “welcome center to a better life.” A population selfmanagement health and wellness coaching center where you could learn proper nutrition, take your blood sugar or monitor your blood pressure or do a host of other wellness and health related tasks. We could work together to reduce sugar consumption and to learn how to quit smoking cigarettes or to learn a sober way of life.

Remember the “candy-strippers” of the past in the hospitals who were the “hospitality” providers doing whatever it took to fill in the gaps between treatments and doctor’s orders? They worked as part of a hospital team to make a person feel welcome and cared for.

We need to re-invent the candy-strippers and bring back kindness and compassion at the front door of a new kind of welcoming “I’ll take you” place. I also think that a patient-centered approach needs to start with love and kindness and stay with a loving approach all the way through the healthcare delivery process.

UBER (the new taxi APP) is an example of placing the power back in the hands of the “customer.”

In healthcare, the customer is the patient. In a UBERIZED healthcare system, where can I go where I will feel welcome and cared for?

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Where can I go for a shoulder to cry on?

Where can I go to use the bathroom, cook up a nice meal and also check my blood sugar? Where can I go for a free WIFI connection … a cool drink … a safe place … a place to search for a new job or a new place to live?

Where can I go to take a nap … to take a hot shower …to find a band-aid or soft clean bandage for this open wound?

Where can I go to learn about how to make a healthy meal, to quit smoking, to exercise with others and to have fun?

Where can I go to meet new friends?

Where can I go to find kindness, compassion and love?

Where can I go to feel accepted? Where can I go to self-manage my own chronic health conditions and find the resources I need?

Wellness begins with “we.”

My Bio: 7 years ago I was homeless and hurting in Delaware going from shelter to shelter. Struggling with depression, anxieties, poverty, loneliness, addiction and isolation, I was at a pointless state of mind but was seeking a better life through employment and housing without much success. I was 49. I eventually found a job and bed in a sober group house in Lewes, De and the rent was affordable. I climbed my way back to a hopeful life. I still live at a sober group house in Georgetown, DE and during the last 7 years of being clean and stable, I have maintained wellness and I have thrived. I am now the Director of a peer run drop in center called the A.C.E. Peer Resource Center in Seaford, DE.

In Memory of K2, MG, and JCG, I Salute my Father Jose for bravely adapting to memory changes.

Strength to Caregivers and Families with loved ones navigating Mental Health Challenges, Substance Use and Dementia.

Love, Ruth 5

Time to Turn the Channel? ~ By Chris Martin Way back in the early Sixties, my family had a black and white television with three channels- ABC, NBC, and CBS. (I know what you’re thinking…..yes, there really were televisions back then.) Actually, we had four channels, but I and my siblings felt that PBS didn’t count. Changing our TV channel was a precarious and time-consuming affair. Because we were poor by most standards, our old television had a broken knob. So whenever it was time to switch the station or tune in the picture, either my sister, brother, or I had to do the delicate operation with a pair of plyers. The negotiations over who would do the tuning and channel changing often took us longer than getting it done.

Then there was also the intricate adjustment of the makeshift antenna which was a wire coat hanger connected to the back of a television screw. My sister, Vickie, had a unique ability to adjust it in such a way as to bring the picture into focus. Any vibration, however, would easily move it out of its precise position, causing intermittent static and rolling lines.

We’ve all come a long way today! Many of us have a hundred stations or more, and changing the channel is quick and easy.

We simply push the remote button, and it’s done. Some remotes even provide buttons to sharpen the focus. And a few of us may not know where the “on and off” buttons are on our televisions. Changing the channel and the picture is now truly within our reach.

In this new year of 2024, we’ll have 365 days to change our lives to any channel we want. The remote we can use is merely our intention to focus our attention. Mindfulness has a way of sharpening our connection and removing the static. We can fine tune ourselves to be more loving family members and friends; better stewards of our time, energy, and finances; more attentive to the people we serve; more supportive of our teams and community; and more deeply committed to recovery, resilience, and wellness.

So in order to get us started, here are the first ten channels you might what to check out.

Channel 1: Schedule time to spend one full day with a loved one and make it solely about them.

Channel 2: Invite an old friend you haven’t seen in a long time out to lunch.

Channel 3: Visit someone you know and someone don’t know who both live in a nursing home.

Channel 4: Do an inventory on how you are spending your free time each week to reflect on opportunities.

Channel 5: Do something extraordinarily kind for a neighbor you rarely talk to.

Channel 6: Instead of making your next purchase from Amazon, buy it or order it from a local store.

Channel 7: Write a letter to a mentor on why they are important to you and then read it to them.

Channel 8: Practice doing 3 random acts of kindness every week.

Channel 9: Volunteer to do something that will make a difference in your neighborhood or community.

Channel 10: Set aside time each week to deepen your spiritual connection and/or meaning and purpose.

Bio for Author: Chris W. Martin, MA in Ed. & Ed. Counseling, ITE: Perhaps one of Chris Martin’s greatest accomplishments are his bounce back skills. He’s rebounded from all kinds of adversity, including a mental health condition trauma, and personal loss. He has over 25 years of experience as an adult educator with expertise in designing, developing, and delivering training programs for adult learners all over the world, including the United States, Canada, United Kingdom, New Zealand, and Singapore. He also has designed several recovery and peer support tools. Today, Chris serves as the Sr. Director of Training for Crestwood’s Recovery Resilience Solutions Team.

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UNTIL THE DRAGON COMES Part 1 – Written by Daniel J Oppenheimer *Originally published in the New Haven Review

I met Terry Pratchett in a gray and white conference room in the basement of the Hynes Convention Center in Boston, where he was appearing as a Guest of Honor at the 62nd World Science Fiction Convention, or “WorldCon,” held in 2004.

WorldCon orbits the globe like a mothership; the attendees at each year’s convention vote on where it’ll touch down three years later. The first Boston-based WorldCon, spanning the Labor Day weekend of 1971, was called Noreascon. The sixty-second WorldCon was Boston’s fourth, so it was known, as it had to be, as Noreascon 4.

I was there as a reporter, but I was also there on a secret quest. Pratchett is one of the most prolific satirists in the English-speaking world. He’s the Garrison Keillor of science fiction and fantasy literature, and his Lake Wobegon— his allegorical laboratory—is DiscWorld, an absurd, magical, flat planet that “travels through space on the backs of four elephants that stand on the back of a giant turtle.”

On the floors above Pratchett’s official press conference, thousands of fans were gathered together to celebrate a mutual love of science fiction and fantasy. Down below, seven of us were at a small table with him, waiting for someone else to ask a question. I’ve now read six of his novels, but at the time I hadn’t yet read any of them, and I’d shown up because I assumed there would be better journalists there who’d done enough research to ask smart questions.

Instead, with the exception of a writer for Wired who seemed to have read only Pratchett’s children’s books, the reporters were amateurs: two fan zine writers, a zine photographer, a married couple from Atlanta who’d done a bit of freelance work for a suburban daily, and a balding man with a white beard who never spoke and was identifiable as press only by the brown ribbon dangling from his convention ID badge.

It became clear that they were able to obtain press credentials because the convention organizers needed bodies to fill up the press conferences, and also because in fandom—the general term for the science fiction and fantasy community—fans are accorded almost as much honor as the authors.

We sat for an uncomfortable minute or two before Pratchett, pitying us, said, “I expect that you’re wondering why I called you here today.”

The rest of the hour-long press conference went similarly, with Pratchett rescuing us from silence and graciously ignoring how ill-prepared we were. I was embarrassed. Pratchett deserved better, not only because he didn’t have to be there—his books have made him a millionaire—but because he seemed to be a decent person. It’s hard not to like someone who wears a floppy leather hat and a T-shirt that reads ACTUALLY, I AM A ROCKET WIZARD. The adoring fans were there, of course, and over the long weekend of the convention, hundreds of them lined up for Pratchett’s book signings and crammed into the panels in which he participated. The New England Science Fiction Association, the sponsor of the convention, published Once More (with footnotes), a new collection of his stories and essays. At the masquerade costume competition on Sunday night, perhaps a third of the costumes were homages to Pratchett. And the acceptance speeches at the Hugo Awards—science fiction’s highest honors—were a litany of affectionate references to him. Pratchett was celebrated, but also exploited and sometimes ignored, which is typical of the covenant that has nourished and stunted the genre of science fiction since its beginnings in the nineteen-twenties: writers, editors, agents, publishers, and fans coexist in one fascinating, frothy, uneasy community whose foundational myth is of a seamless continuum between writer and reader. Every WorldCon now has two professional guests of honor and two fan guests of honor, and Hugos are given to both professionals and fans. The short memoirs in the glossy, 240-page Noreascon 4 program are all, in a sense, devotions to the compact between readers and writers.

In it, for instance, Neil Gaiman tells of his fi rst meeting with Terry Pratchett: So it’s February of 1985, and it’s a Chinese restaurant in London, and it’s the author’s first interview. His publicist had been pleasantly surprised that anyone would want to talk to him (the author has just written a funny fantasy book called The Colour of Magic), but she’s set up this lunch with a young journalist anyway.… And the author is Terry Pratchett, and the journalist is me.

In his own memoir, Terry Pratchett writes of being a fan, of first discovering, as a boy, a small stock of science fi ction magazines in a soft-core porn shop in England: 7

I’d found these stories about Space.… Then, in one of the UK mags, there was a mention of the British Science Fiction Association. Contact. And that led to the cons, and to that general encouragement to write that is part of the atmosphere.… The 1965 Worldcon was my last convention for twenty-one years. I’d been formally in fandom for a mere three years, not counting the apprenticeship in the little shop, and didn’t find my way back until I’d written four novels. It’s nice to be home.

The arc is important, from readers to fans to journalists to published novelists to bestselling novelists who are guests of honor, or Hugo Award winners, at WorldCon but who remain, in their geeky hearts, fans. In Gaiman’s case, the respect he pays is particularly validating. His Sandman graphic novels have earned him enough literary credibility that he could, if he chose, leave the fans behind. He could betray them, as Kurt Vonnegut famously did when he refused to allow publishers to label or shelve his novels as science fiction. Instead, Gaiman continues to write fantasy; he appears at a few conventions a year; and, in proper fan zine fashion, he reports back on the cons on his blog.

After Noreascon 4, for instance, there was this: Tuesday, September 07, 2004 a jumble of con memories

posted by Neil Gaiman 9/7/2004 08:46:54 AM Let’s see. I did lots of cool things in the last few days. I’ll forget some of them, I’m sure. But in no particular order, things that I really enjoyed included: … Briefing Phil Klass—William Tenn—before the Hugos on what he’d be doing. He’s slightly deaf, and cheerfully curmudgeonly, and when I told him he would read the nominees for best novel, open the envelope and announce the winner, he said “Denounce the winner? Why would I do that?” and then he said “I will if you want me to, though.” And I suspected that he might have done. He wrote some astonishing stories, of which the one that feels more and more relevant these days is one called The Liberation of Earth. (I just googled it, but found only a Mumpsimus essay on it by Matthew Cheney, who I met at a hot, sweaty room-party and who was, unsuprisingly given his blog, both smart and nice.) … Reading the first chapter of Anansi Boys to about 500 people, who all laughed in the right places (ie pretty much anywhere) and who seemed to enjoy it. I learned a lot about the text by reading it aloud to a roomful of people (I learned enough that I plan to read a whole lot more of Anansi Boys aloud at the Fiddler’s Green convention in November.)

The blogs are a twenty-first-century medium, but the impulse is the same one that has animated fandom for eighty years. Something important happened when, in 1926, Hugo Gernsback, founder and editor of Amazing Stories, decided to publish the addresses of the men who wrote in to the magazine’s letters column week after week to quibble over the science in a story from the last issue, or to argue with another letter writer, or to rant about politics and religion. With the addresses, the fans contacted each other directly and formed clubs. Then the clubs took trips to visit each other, and those trips evolved into conventions. Many fans started to write. New magazines were published to capitalize on Gernsback’s success, and they needed more writers, and as their standards weren’t high, more fans found it possible to publish. Others became agents, editors, artists, and anthologists, and they brought more of their funny-looking friends along as clients.

“The Futurians…were an odd-looking group,” writes SF novelist and critic Damon Knight of his first impressions of the legendary New York–based club: Wollheim was the oldest and least beautiful (Kornbluth once introduced him as “this gargoyle on my right”).…

Lowndes was ungainly and flatfooted; he had buck teeth which made him lisp and sputter, and a hectic glare like a cockatoo’s. Michel was slender and looked so much more normal than the rest that he seemed handsome by contrast, although he was pockmarked and balding. He had a high voice and stammered painfully. Cyril Kornbluth … was plump, pale and sullen. He had narrow Tartar eyes and spoke in a rumbling monotone; he looked ten years older than he was. Chester Cohen was about my age, and although he was neurotic and jumpy, a nail-picker (not enough left to bite), he was able to freeze on command and hold a pose indefinitely.

Not all fans became writers. Some remained fans. They ran the conventions, or populated the conventions. They published and exchanged amateur fan zines talking about what happened at the latest convention or reviewing the latest story or novel from their favorite writer. Their convention fees, book purchases, and devotions helped to lubricate the market and buck up literary egos in a genre that remained, for most of its history, a small and embarrassing thing, a ghetto, to use a term that clings to the community to this day. There were never enough hardcore fans to 8

open a movie or get a novel on the bestseller list, but the fans were the generator that kept the genre going when it was young and interest from the mainstream flagged; they were repositories of its history and an important element in the complex dynamic that shapes a genre and solidifies its literary and cultural traditions.

Now that science fiction and fantasy have become mass phenomena, inescapable constituents of the language and imagery through which Americans understand and delude themselves, the fans are revealed to us as our dreamweavers. What cultural influence they’ve had! What awesome majesties and piles of pop-cultural dung these geeks have midwived into being: Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Spider Man, Superman, The Matrix, Jurassic Park, vast swaths of the multi-billion dollar video game industry, anime, 2001, X-Files, Magic: The Gathering, Blade Runner, Men in Black, Star Trek, anthropomorphic robots, sentient computers, the Terminator.

We’re no closer to faster-than-light travel, aliens, or androids because of science fiction, but we imagine we know what hyperspace, aliens, and androids look like because of it. We’re saturated by the images. Sixteen of the twenty highest-grossing movies in cinematic history—eight of the top ten—have science fiction and fantasy themes. Game of Thrones rules cable television. Star Wars is back and as big as ever.

Meanwhile, J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings books continue to sell hundreds of thousands of copies every year. J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter books are the publishing phenomenon of the last 20 years. At the same time that a novelist like Jonathan Lethem is smuggling science fiction from the genre ghetto into the walled city-state of literary fiction, a giant like Philip Roth is smuggling literary fiction out, heading into the hinterlands of speculative fiction (if Roth’s The Plot Against America were written by a science fiction writer, it would be dubbed “alternate history” and shelved with science fi ction and fantasy at the bookstores). The world of pop music has yet to show a pervasive science fictional influence, but it’s beginning to bubble up in the apocalyptic imagery of the Wu-Tang Clan, in some of the videos of Lady Gaga, and in the general flavor of innovators like Beck, Moby, Björk, Radiohead and Sigur Rós. Heavy metal, itself a mass genre that’s misunderstood by the mainstream, is suffused with science fiction and fantasy symbolism and aesthetics.

Whatever exactly science fiction is, it’s not what its detractors have always said, and its advocates have always feared, it is: irrelevant. It’s a bastard child of the twentieth century, and of America: neurotic, utopian, Manichean, scientifi c, technological, conditioned by pulp and its fantasies of immortality but also infused with sublimated religiosity and its end-time visions and anxieties of impotence. For better and worse, it’s one of the dominant modes of contemporary American culture. We’re already dealing with it, and living in it, whether we realize it or not.

Daniel Oppenheimer is Director of Communications for the Hogg Foundation for Mental Health at The University of Texas at Austin. He's also a freelance writer whose articles and videos have been featured in The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, Tablet Magazine, and Salon.com. His first book, Exit Right: The People Who Left the Left and Reshaped the American Century, was published in February 2016 by Simon & Schuster. Oppenheimer lives in Austin, Texas, with his wife and children.

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Do you remember waking up early on school days and before heading to school you would turn on the Power Rangers? I know I did while waiting for my ride to school. What makes a Power Ranger? Why have we, as society, been so infatuated with the Power Rangers? Why growing up do we still remember the saying “It’s morphin time!”. Because for those who lived during that time its nostalgic for the fun and joy that the Rangers embodied when they saved the world. Tammy Heinz, to us in the mental health field, is an “Empower” Ranger.

Tammy Heinz is someone who believes in the genuine good of all people. Just this saying alone isn’t something that really defines her or gives Tammy the credit she deserves. She is someone who believes in unconditional high regard for all, encourages others’ growth, and supports what they can achieve and become. When Tammy can support others to find and know their worth, she feels useful, purposeful. She believes people want to and will rise to our expectations. When they don’t, it’s up to us to practice giving grace to others, assume goodwill toward our fellow humans, and recognize that all of us could contribute based on what we are inherently able to give to the world.

Her family gives her fulfillment in life and is something she values tremendously. Her kids, Greyson and Delilah, keep her going and bring purpose to her life. She wants to be good for the world in whatever she does.

Whether it’s through her family or helping others, Tammy Heinz is truly a remarkable individual.

Tammy’s journey has been interesting. Before her journey led her to the the Hogg Foundation for Mental Health, she was working in Fort Worth at the Mental Health Association of Tarrant County as a Program Director when she heard about a new position open at the Hogg Foundation for a Consumer & Family Liaison. Although she was open about her personal lived mental health experience in Fort Worth, she had been hired there as a mental health professional first and then when the time felt right, she shared her personal experience. With Hogg, she would be applying as a mental health professional and a person with lived experience. Tammy was excited and nervous at the same time. When she applied in the summer, it took quite a while before she heard anything. Then finally after a few months she was scheduled for an in-person interview. She came down from Fort Worth to stay in Austin for the interview. Now, after 15 years, she still loves her job as a Senior Program Officer and Consumer & Family Liaison, feels challenged with new projects and new opportunities and looks forward to more years to come.

To Tammy, recovery is about developing resiliency and a general focus on her well-being and wellness.

She creates resiliency within herself so as life and challenges hit, she can ride them out without losing herself. Personal medicine to her is meditation, yoga, nutritional eating, and extra sleep. She is revitalized and refreshed by spending time with her family and friends, reading, creating art, and spending time with animals. Her idea of selfcare is LOVE, both giving and receiving. Something she cannot live without. Tammy believes that beyond recovery is focusing on the quality of her life. Kindness, hugs, and shared love amongst those important in our lives is what brings quality to her life.

Tammy Heinz, as we all know, is the Project Director for PeerFest. PeerFest came from her own experiences at numerous Alternatives Conferences. Some of the reasons why she created PeerFest are: 1) to develop a space where people can be authentically themselves, feel appreciated and valued for who they are in the world, 2) to 10

allow those of us with mental health challenges to have an opportunity to connect with others and share life experiences, 3) to give people with lived mental health experiences a time when we can take a break from the day-to -day challenges of living with mental health issues and focus our attention on self-care, learning, resting, relaxing, and play. Through PeerFest, she encourages everyone to be themselves! Live life! Forget your mental health stresses and come to PeerFest to be in community with others. In the future, Tammy would like to see PeerFest grow much larger than it is now, possibly available for people outside of Texas. She would like to see regional opportunities and a possible Youth PeerFest. As our leaders of tomorrow, we should offer them these same opportunities for connection and wellness to help them build their own resiliency and strength well into the future.

If money weren’t a barrier, she would spend some time in Ireland. She is drawn to the energy of the Irish green grass and the Celtic culture. But all in all, what makes her feel the best and most comfortable, is time with her family: her kids and spouse, her dad, brother, sister, and all their families coming together to enjoy precious time.

With her love of Irish green, no wonder her favorite movie is The Wizard of Oz…Emerald City. Tammy does live the theme of The Wizard of Oz, “There’s no place like home.” So, the next time you need to call on an “Empowerment” Ranger…just call out to Tammy Heinz, aka Glinda the Good Witch, for her assistance.

Written by NICHOLAS HOLSTEIN

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Stay Alive.

Written by: Danielle Carty, Mental Health Peer Specialist Three years ago, I too wanted to end my life.

This was not the first time I had struggled with suicidal thoughts and quite honestly it may not be the last.

At the time it seemed like a solution to not only escape the pain and agony I was in, but also to lessen the burden I had been placing onto others.

Living seemed impossible and scary especially in the midst of a pandemic.

For a brief moment, something in me reached out to a friend who stayed on the phone with me all the way to the hospital.

She wanted me to live so I had to do all I could to press on.

Hours later after riding on an ambulance for the first time in my life, I felt number than I had in my entire life.

This was my third time in a mental health hospital and I knew the drill.

In the past, I made efforts to build relationships but this time I was past that to a point of osmosis where I could have simply blended into the wall.

I did not see any hope for myself, but my church family had been working behind the scenes and a booklet of encouraging handwritten letters was given to me.

Suddenly, the spark I needed to keep going had been ignited and I pressed on until I was out of the hospital standing on my two feet again.

Now, I am grateful to say I am a Mental Health Peer Specialist at Lakes Regional Community Center.

The best part of my job is the fact that it is required for me to have experience struggling with my mental health.

The difference between three years ago and now though is that I now have a counselor I see weekly, a psychiatrist I see every 1-3 months, a 12-step group I attend weekly, a Bible study I attend weekly, and I am actively working on my recovery.

If you are struggling to find hope…find one thing that will ignite a spark for you to choose to stay alive.

I am here to support you if you are interested in peer support services, but do not hesitate to go to a hospital if necessary. I know it is not ideal, but your life matters.

YOU matter.

Danielle Carty is a Certified Mental Health Peer Specialist at Lakes Regional Community Center and holds a Bachelor’s in Social Work. She has written two books, but has yet to publish. As a peer, she has been in recovery for depression since 2008. She currently lives in Royse City, Texas, with her family which includes her cat, Loki, who always knows how to get her to laugh.

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Artwork by: Elizabeth Israelsen Age: 16 Caption: “Perspective is everything.

From far away things look perfect.

Take a closer look at things around you; no one is their outside.”

Original Submission to MOVE Art Show 2015; permission to share for Hug Me Ink magazine.

ROBIN Written by: Pam Bates One day she was here, The next day she was gone.

I remember her beautiful blonde hair and her beautiful skin so fair.

Going through LIFE without a care.

I had started to remember things from our past. We we’re supposed to work on remembering together at last.

Bring it all out into the light For her to join me in the fight.

To Know.

To Remember.

The police say she committed suicide.

But, me and my family know different.

The Coroner says “ ah, ah No Way I’m not gonna say.

No way she committed suicide that way, that day.”

I won’t bring myself to go to the Cemetery. I just can’t do it. There’s too much pain there and I won’t push myself to go through it.

You see, I have another sister there by someone else’s hand.

And my brother.

I can’t even Imagine being my Mother.

I’m glad I’m able to write about them and express to you ALL that I just wasn’t meant to FALL. You see when it happened. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to be a ghost.

And I don’t mean to boast

But, If it wasn’t for my husband Tim.

I would be a Butterfly in the wind.

I know for certain I will always miss her the rest of my days.

But, at least now after all these years . I’m coming out of the Haze.

Thank You for Listening.

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What Art Therapy Means To Me

By: Heather Templeton I remember my first art class class. We were having a casual discussion when my teacher suddenly lifted a painting of a tree and flipped it upside down. "What do you see?" he asked. I had become so used to thinking on the spot, but there was no quick answer here. I took a step back and stared deep into the painting. As my eyes traced through the fine lines and followed the individual brush strokes of the tree, my perspective shifted and I found myself discovering countless new patterns. In this moment, I was a like child again, experiencing something for the first time. This feeling allowed me to view new things that I hadn't seen before. I never knew that I could feel such a rush from such a simple question and such a beautiful painting.

What I enjoy about the concept of art therapy, is that it can be beneficial for people of all ages. Whether you're a teenager or whether you're 90 years old, art therapy is useful for self-reflection and self-discovery. As an adult, doing art has allowed me to peel back the layers of the judgemental adult persona that has existed inside of me and let my inner-child come out. The images I create become a weaving narrative that brings my personal vision to a vibrant form.

Art therapy can help us improve our self awareness. It can help with coping skills and act as a powerful way to safely externalize how we’re feeling. To this day, I have continued to utilize the benefits of Art Therapy to maintain my own wellness. I would never hesitate to recommend it to anyone and everyone!

Artwork by: Alyssa Bowman Age: 17 Caption: "We can't direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails" -Thomas S. Monson - Even though the situation we may be facing may not be ideal, it's the subtle adjustments we make through our attitude that can make a difference.”

Original Submission to MOVE Art Show 2015; permission to share for Hug Me Ink magazine.

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Artwork by: Amelia Talbot Age: 16 Caption: “Positive words can make anyone's day better. "Don't be afraid, your eyes hold the universe." "Mistakes are human, doing one bad thing doesn't make you bad."

Original Submission to MOVE Art Show 2015; permission to share for Hug Me Ink magazine.

Artwork by: Anonymous Age: 17 Caption: “I live with bipolar disorder. I want people to know that taking psych meds is not as simple as it sounds. Most of the time the Doctor doesn't even know what will happen to you when you take new meds until the next month when you pay them again to write another "guinea pig" script. Don't judge people who choose not to live that hell.”

Original Submission to MOVE Art Show 2015; permission to share for Hug Me Ink magazine.

Artwork by: Anna Barfuss Age: 16 Caption: "Acceptance" Like the silver wolf in my painting, you too can be accepted while being different. It is okay to be different, even if in mental illness; because we're all different in our own way.

However, acceptance is only brought about when we learn to openly listen and speak one with another; as the pack communicates together.

Original Submission to MOVE Art Show 2015; permission to share for Hug Me Ink magazine.

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(Introduction to my Doctor)

The Day the Rain Came Unexpectedly (In My Doctor’s Office Ten Years after our First Meeting)

(Age 28)

(Age 38)

Catherine Cohen

Catherine Cohen

Hope of Resurrection

This poem is about my relationship with my doctor ten years later when significant healing had This is the first poem about meeting my doctor for the first time taken place. and believing she could help me heal.

I remember the day

She came in and sat down

The rain came unexpectedly,

As quietly as a stranger at a wake,

Suddenly flooding the wide panes of glass

The only sound the whispering of her long skirt

That look out of the high-rise office building downtown.

I was laid out before her, with folded arms, Rigid and cold inside

You in your gray suit, sitting across from me,

As a body in a burnished box.

Small in your great leather chair, While the water rushed down falling

We sat opposite each other on the hard, plastic chairs

-suspended-

In the small, white, windowless room Not speaking, until she said,

Half-concealing the city outside

Softely, simply “How do you feel?”

Behind a thick, wet, opaque curtain

I averted my eyes and spoke brusquely,

Hushing the sound of the street

“I have nothing to say.”

With its quiet, heavy resonance.

So I studied her some more

As we listened in silence to the rain

Her open face and steady eyes met mine honestly while

I had the sense we were floating,

Patient and composed

High aloft, near some summit,

She waited for me to begin

And my spirit was so light I imagined

Then slowly I started to see

I could stretch out my hands to you

That she was not like the rest,

And rinse them clean

And words came to me,

In the cool, intimate mist

Haltingly at first, in bursts

That seemed to rise from your presence

Then gusting out profusely,

Like a pure, baptismal fount

Until I had told her more than I ever intended More than I had ever told anyone about my inner life of pain.

By the time the short interview ended I felt the stirrings in my soul Of a hope of healing and of faith in another life And I knew this was the answer to the past prayer of the dead.

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The day the rain came Unexpectedly.

Clinical Depression (Age 23-28)

TINKER

Catherine Cohen

Written by: Pam Bates

Clinical;

She would come and go.

Sometimes fast, Sometimes Slow.

A frighteningly sterile environment

When she’d come.

A cold operating theater

She’d bring really good candy.

A tray of glinting instruments

And she would be dressed up all fancy.

An icy steel table

With her Jewelry and her bling.

And pale rubber fingers, cool

She never had the chance to really know all the joy she would bring.

And unfeeling as a corpse’s

We missed her when she was away.

Depression;

But, she came to realize in her life she couldn’t stay.

A dirt ditch Her and my Dad didn’t get along but, I still felt when she went , it was wrong.

A trench An open pit

My Mom loved her dearly as she did all her children.

A hole in the ground A grave

Tinker thought she had things figured out when she made the little things really count.

A valley of the shadow of death

But, Little did she know her time was running out.

Clinical Depression;

I’m not sure what else to say but, I really wish there was a way, to have made her stay --that night.

A faceless fear behind a white mask

If Only she could have stayed in, I still might be seeing her with her BIG grin.

A sharp incision in the soul’s soft center A mutilation around the heart

But, because her life didn’t work that way.

A dark, inward part throbbing torment

She didn’t stay. She didn’t stay.

An acutely impersonal, deeply private pain

She went -away.

And life like living death

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ATTEMPT Suicide is just an attempt at creating attention to me to see that He will never leave nor forsake me. It is just not my time.

I should realize that my King is on my side. I may look behind and find it was so amazing that He was there. No guessing required here. The hand that has sustained me is large enough to destroy thoughts of loss. You will gain if you always remain trusting.

See if I am speaking the truth. Watch and wait, the Savior is there, and He blocks the darts. Penetrate? Of course not. You belong GOD the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords!

RECOVERY Recovery for me is a journey, A wilderness where most of the time you cannot see.

One thing I know is that oppression, depression, suicidal thoughts, schizophrenia, borderline personality, and obsessive compulsions can be overcome but you must be willing to go through.

There will be bumps, bruises, and possibly knockouts. But pick yourself up, dust yourself off you must continue to be. Bipolar manias, depressed lows bobbing you up and down just like a child’s see-saw.

This road of recovery will never get the best of me. As I travel He releases the shackles that try to bind me, and I must always declare myself totally healed!

Meet our author, 60-year-old Jennifer Randal-Thorpe from Lafayette, Louisiana. Jennifer is a Recognized Peer Support Specialist for the Office of Behavioral Health in Louisiana, a Counselor in Training with the Louisiana Association of Substance Abuse Counselors and Trainers, and she is also the Executive Director of the first peer-driven agency in the state of Louisiana, Meaningful Minds United, Inc. She didn’t realize that she could write poetry until the death of her mother in 2010. She states, “When the thoughts came to me it was like a fountain of running water that she could not shut off.” She has been writing since that time.

She enjoys writing about those whom she has never known. Often families of the bereaved will ask her to write a poem about their loved one, and they are always pleased with the results stating,” You write about them just like you’ve always known them.”

Jennifer’s accomplishments in behavioral health are innumerable. She is a trained facilitator in several programs, an Emotional CPR Educator, HOPE Facilitator, Seeking Safety, Target Health (Youth/Adult), Anger Management. She has been recognized for her accomplishments by several organizations, The National Empowerment Center, Florida Peer Support Network, Bipolar Hope Newsletter, The College of Behavioral Health Leadership, and The International Bipolar Foundation. She is a former Regional Advisory Chairperson in Region 4 for Louisiana, former Louisiana Behavioral Health Advisory Board Member, former PAIMI council member, and former Secretary of The Greater Southwest Louisiana Black Chamber of Commerce, and former National Suicide Action Alliance member.

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In the tapestry of my mental health journey's weave, Speech delays and labels, challenges to relieve.

IEP meetings, therapists' hands to guide, A resilient spirit, in me, resides.

Middle school's struggles, finding my voice, Bullied for quirks, yet service was my choice.

Crafting and serving, passions took flight, A unique identity, strong and bright.

High school mirrored my brothers' well-trodden ways, Yet, self-discovery unfolded in different arrays.

College dreams faced an unexpected twist, Rejection's sting, concerns persist.

A professor's advice, mask and conform, But my truth sought a different norm.

Accepted "on special terms," a rocky terrain, Critiques and scrutiny, an unjust strain.

Written by: Rebecca Engle

In the face of adversity, I took my stand, Breaking chains, a reclaiming command.

Graduation beckoned, a departure from the norm, In graduate school, my mental health takes new form.

Passionate about education and advocacy, I'm a dedicated graduate student pursuing a Master's in Educational Policy and Leadership at Texas Tech University, holding a Bachelor's degree in Interdisciplinary Studies. High school graduate at Claudia Taylor Johnson, I earned a commendable GPA of 3.74 with honors in Literacy, Reading, Special Education, and History. A member of the Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint, I advocate for inclusive education. My journey includes roles in Texas politics, community engagement, and impactful creative endeavors as a poet and writer. Serving on the Board of Directors for the Uvalde Foundation for Kids and contributing to Women Unlimited San Antonio, I'm committed to community service and empowering women in business. With diverse educational experiences, including teaching roles, I am devoted to fostering inclusive learning environments. As an advocate for positive change, I believe in the transformative power of education and strive for inclusive and supportive environments for all students.

As a future educator, my passion ignites, Embracing my struggles, like guiding lights.

In the vast canvas of mental health's domain, My imprint lingers, an indelible stain.

A passionate advocate, my voice rings clear, For a brighter mental health future, I persevere.

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Jake Lee Ledesma is the Director of Case Management and Care Coordination at the Alamo Area Resource Center (AARC), a non-profit organization dedicated to providing healthcare services to the LGBTQ+ community and individuals living with HIV in San Antonio. With over a decade of experience in healthcare and social work, Jake holds a Master of Science in Social Work (MSSW) from the UTRGV School of Social Work, as well as a Master's License in Social Work from the Texas State Board of Social Worker Examiners. He is currently pursuing an Executive Master of Business Administration (EMBA) at Quantic School of Business and Technology.

In his role as Director, Jake oversees the day-to-day operations of the Ryan White Programs at AARC, ensuring alignment with the organization's goals and standards. He is responsible for staff recruitment, training, and supervision and contributes to AARC's budget planning and monitoring efforts. Jake's expertise encompasses program management, inventory control, customer service, team leadership, and community engagement, all gained through his previous positions at organizations such as Prospera Housing Community Services, St. Peter St. Joseph Children's Home, Baptist Health System, and Family Endeavors. Additionally, he actively supports fundraising efforts for transgender healthcare services at AARC through the Martha May Fund.

Committed to creating opportunities and positively impacting the LGBTQ+ community and the city of San Antonio, Jake actively volunteers for local community organizations. During his undergraduate years, he was a member of the Worden Student Social Work Organization (WSWO) and Phi Alpha National Honor Society, where he served as the Treasurer.

Jake's dedication to professional development is evident through his pursuit of ongoing certifications and training, including those related to Trauma-Informed Care, Social Determinants of Health, Cultural Intelligence, and Accounting. He continuously seeks to enhance his skills and knowledge to better serve his community and fulfill his personal mission of supporting everyone gain health equity.

All proceeds goes towards mental health awareness and bullying prevention arts projects! Please email hugmeink@gmail.com to order 23

HUG ME (Helping to Unite by Generating Mental Empowerment) Ink is a peer-led nonprofit organization increasing mental health awareness & recovery sustainability through the arts. We primarily focus on the performance arts such asdrama and film as our avenue to promote mental health awareness.

Founded in 2012, HUG ME Ink has come a long way since then. After overcoming challenges, HUG ME Ink became an official 501c3 organization in 2013 and as of February 2015, we became a part of the Peer Run Organization Project hosted by ViaHope.

We are the ONLY non-profit organization in the state of Texas that ONLY uses the performing arts and film to advocate and educate the community on mental health awareness. We produce films and stage productions as a way to reach out to our community on mental illness, recovery, stigma and empowerment. We conduct workshops and host open mic nights to increase self-expression. One of our most popular outreach is focused YOUTH! We use the arts to create prevention tools when it comes to stopping bullying!

For more information on HUG ME Ink, please visit www.hugmeink.org or email us at hugmeink@gmail.com 24