Universal Studios en Orlando dos veces ya, pero el verdadero temor es ir a un parque de Disney y pagar más de $100 por una taquilla de entrada. En cuanto a disfraces de Halloween vaya, no tengo ni idea de lo que voy a ser este año! Pensé en vestirme con ropa normal y decirle a la gente que soy un hombrelobo. Sipreguntanporqué notengopeloportodomicuerpoo colmillos, les digo que no hay luna llenaesanoche. Quizás pueda tener un amigo para formar un equipo conmigo y hacer un doble concepto como uno ir de Donald Trump y el otro como su peluca o un mapa de México sosteniendo un rifle a su cabeza. O quizás me puedo vestir como un hippie en un viaje de alucinógenos mientras mi amigo se viste como el unicornio que nadie puede ver más que él. Las opcionessonilimitadas. Independientemente de cómo Ud. se vista o dónde usted decida celebrar esto, recuerde deandarconcuidadoy,¡tenerun tiempomaravilloso!
aroused by doing #2 on someone or being pooped on. They call that scatting (not the singing, unfortunately. Unless someone goes to the bathroom on your face as they go “do da di badi badi bada”!) Obviously, I told him how gross that was (if I offend anyone I apologize and I suggest you shower more regularly than others…and seek Jesus). “Don't knock it until you try it” – he said to me. Seriously?! I have crapped on myself before and that brought me nothing but discomfort and embarrassment. Also, that was the last time I was ever invited to a wedding.
Try Not to Scream I had the most interesting conversation with a friend of mine the other day. He was instructing me on several fetishes that some people practice and he decided to tell me about all of this at 9AM…in front of people…in church…we are no longer friends. Seriously though, I was very intrigued and so impressed by a lot of things many of you may be experts on. I have never been that a d v e n t u r o u s . To m e , switching to the left hand when I'm having a “personal fun time” is a thrill. One of the things we talked about was people getting
He also explained to me about the concept of a “Master/Slave” relationship and told me he once was in training to be a sex slave. “Training?!” – I said to him – “Like he taught you how to sit and gave you a cookie? And what do you mean you wanted to become a slave?! Aren't you Black?!” I figured it to be a relationship that resembles the Clinton family with Hilary holding the whip of course. Then he showed me a video of someone masturbating inside a cup of freshly cut fruit so the other person eats it with that layer of “baby juice” on it. These fetishes are getting
weirder and more complicated as years pass. It's not just about making sure we have the right lighting in our bedroom anymore. Now you have to put plastic all over your room making it look like a scene from Dexter before he commits a murder. Speaking of scary stuff… as you're well aware, Halloween is almost upon us. I have been to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios in Orlando twice already, but the real fear is going to a Disney park and paying over $100 for a one-day ticket. As far as Halloween costumes go, I have no idea what I am going to dress up as! I thought of just wearing regular clothes and tell people I'm a werewolf. If they ask why I don't have hair all over my body or fangs, I'll just say there is no full moon that night. Then I thought of painting my face and body in green like the Frankenstein monster with a recycling tattoo on my arm and tell people I'm going green this year. Perhaps I can have a friend to team up with me and do a dual concept like one going as Donald Trump and the other one as his hairpiece or a map of Mexico holding a riffle to his head. Or one dressed up as Chef Ramsey from Hell's Kitchen and the other one as an overflowing swear jar. Or one of us could be an old lady and the other one can be a LifeAlert button. Or perhaps I can dress up as a hippie with a bong and tripping on hallucinogens while my friend dresses up as the unicorn that no one else can see but me. The options are limitless. Regardless of what you decide to dress up as or where you decide to celebrate this, remember to be safe and have a great time!
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