2024 Guide to Camp Counseling by Hermann Sons Life

HERMANN SONS LIFE CAMP CAMP STAFF GUIDE TO CAMP COUNSELING

2024 Guide to Camp counseling 2-12-24

THE STARFISH STORY

Original Story by: Loren Eisley

One morning, after a terrific storm, an old man is walking on the beach and, as the sun is beginning to rise, he sees in front of him, lying on the beach thousands and thousands of starfish that must have washed ashore du e to the storm. As far as the eye can see, lay starfish, drying out and surely destined to die in the warming of the morning sun. And so ever so carefully, the old man stoops down and, one by one, begins to toss the starfish back into the sea so that they may survive. As he does this, he is seen by a much younger man who, eyeing the task in front of the old man, simply shakes his head in disbelief. After a brief period, the younger man approaches the old man and says to him, "Old man, what are you doing? Don't you see that there are literally thousands of starfish washed up on this shore? What you are doing can never make a difference." The old man, saddened by what he hears, stares straight into the eyes of the younger man. And, then, ever so carefully, he stoops down, picks up one more starfish, and casts it into the sea. He then turns to the younger man and responds,

"TO THAT ONE - I MADE A DIFFERENCE."

2024 Guide to Camp counseling 2-12-24

A PROFESSIONAL CAMP COUNSELOR ALWAYS • • • •

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Respects the campers. They are the most important people in camp. Practices “Active Supervision”. Displays positive attitude. Is a positive role model.

o Role Model the behavior expected. § Manners, please and thank you. § Punctuality, dress appropriately for their activities and evening events, etc., § Following established DORM rules. § If it’s “do as I say,” it also has to be “do as I do.”

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Get down to the camper’s level and listen not only to the words, but to the feelings of the camper. “Squat with tots, lean with teens”.

o o

Reinforce by repeating what you have heard and your understanding. Ask the camper to repeat back to you what you said and asked for, or just instructed. Take care to do this in a way that does not humiliate them in front of other children. Ask open-ended questions. §

This helps the camper to solve their problem or arrive at the “right” conclusion.

o Is consistent in the application of rules. o Treat all campers the same. o Do not correct a co-counselor in-front of the campers. Address in private. Uses mistakes as opportunities to learn. Don’t make the camper feel that his mistakes are sins. o o o o

Focus on the behavior not the essence of the camper. Never make the camper feel small or inconsequential. Sarcastic humor won’t endear you to the campers and won't get them to do what you want. Don’t correct the camper in front of other campers if possible. Don’t ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize to the camper.

Use the same phrases and order of events for clean-up and similar kinds of activities. Realize that experience is 10 times more effective than words. Be as “concrete” as possible.

Gives immediate, positive feedback. o o o o o

Do not nickname the campers. One trick to remembering a camper’s name is to repeat it back to them once they have introduced themselves.

Allow 3–5-minute warning - do countdowns. Problem with tardiness? Always late? Set the alarm clock forward 5 minutes. Allow or build in extra time.

Keep your instructions simple. o

LISTENS! o

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Allows for transitions: o o

Learns and uses the camper’s name. o

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Be specific with praise. Don’t let your praise lose its quality and value. Build your camper’s self-esteem. Catch the camper doing something right! Genuine praise, a “pat on the back” or a “high five” is a great boost to a camper in building selfconfidence. Be free, but genuine with your praise.

o • Allow “down time” for campers to decompress. •

o o

Prompt them to do so. Don’t expect campers to do this on their own.

Uses touch when talking or instructing campers. o Hand on shoulder, upper arm, upper back, even holding a younger child’s hand. • Anticipates:

o Observe which times are most stressful for your campers (e.g., cabin clean-up, rest hour, evening, getting ready for bed) o Build strategies to deal with or get extra help during those times.

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Encourages campers to participate. o o o

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Participation itself is a great reward. Recognition of success that follows will be an even greater reward. Everyone can be successful at something; you can put that “something” within reach of every camper.

Knows exactly where each of their campers are, and who they are with.

2024 Guide to Camp counseling 2-12-24

AN UN-PROFESSIONAL CAMP COUNSELOR •

Congregates and socializes with other staff. o o

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Planning for nights-off and days-off takes precedent over actively supervising the campers and the campers’ best interests. Feels that the campers are an intrusion on their summer!

Discusses personal problems or experiences in front of campers. o o

Gossips with campers regarding other staff and personal relationships. Discretion and private are two words not in their vocabulary.

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Encourages campers to “do as I say” while breaking the rules.

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Hangs-out with their favorite campers.

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Takes great pleasure in labeling the bad kids and does not care who knows about it.

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Constantly Complains o o o

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Sets their world right by explaining in great detail about how bad things are. Explains to people who cannot make change how they would run the camp differently. Does not use the chain of command.

Does not learn their camper’s names and does not show any sign of interest in knowing the campers as an individual.

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Believes in the “Lord of the Flies” mentality. o o

In 1954, William Holding wrote this classic book. I highly recommend you read this book. The Lord of the Flies is basically where a counselor allows campers to govern themselves rather than an adult practicing Active Supervision.

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Brings their own food to the camp dining hall “because the food here sucks.”

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Upon the camper’s arrival, explains that they can do what they want as long as they don’t get caught and don’t disturb them while they are sleeping.

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Uses threats, poor language, their size and sarcasm as management tools.

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Succumbs to “Regressive Pull”. o When a staff person's group pulls his maturity level backwards. Especially with older kids, staff

are more tempted to push the limits to impress their group and gain their acceptance. This is especially true if the counselor and group are close in age.

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Repositions safety equipment or staff to make things easier, without thinking about the consequences.

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Disregards and / or disrespects their supervisor.

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Does not ask questions or ask for help.

2024 Guide to Camp counseling 2-12-24

TOP 21 THINGS CAMPERS SAY THEIR FAVORITE COUNSELORS DO AT CAMP This survey was done on the feedback of campers from multiple camps through the American Camping Association. 1. Spend time with them even when they don't have to. 2. Sit and talk with them, taking an interest in what they say (listen!) 3. Discipline with respect (take them aside, when possible, avoid teasing, avoid humiliating them) 4. Sing, laugh or talk with them on the way from place to place. 5. Think up fun or crazy things to do with them. 6. Are actively involved in camper activities (Cheer! Play! Encourage!) 7. Are enthusiastic - they focus on the positive. 8. Role model the expected behavior. Show them. Help them. Assist younger campers with their towels and clothes. Drink water at the dining table. Wake up on time. 9. Participate in clean up. 10. Read to them at night. 11. Make sure children go to bed having been listened to/validated. 12. Stay in the bunk until the last problem is solved. 13. Will wait ten minutes when a friend (peer) needs the time to help a camper. 14. Get up out of bed to get the kids up in the morning. 15. Make sure kids all have food before they start to eat. 16. Give kids choices (within reasonable limits) 17. Often place themselves in the middle of a group of campers. Use inventive or creative ways to help each camper be part of the group. 18. Tell them when they are going on a day off and when they will be back again. 19. Address them by their first names. 20. Praise the group. Be specific in your praise. 21. SMILE A LOT. J

2024 Guide to Camp counseling 2-12-24

RESPONSIBILITIES OF A CABIN COUNSELOR “In Loco parentis” “In loco parentis” is Latin meaning in the place of a parent. The legal doctrine under which an individual assumes parental rights, duties, and obligations without going through the formalities of legal Adoption. Being a cabin counselor is a huge job, but there is a reason you were chosen as capable of mastering this task. The following are a list of responsibilities as the Cabin Counselor. This list will help you guide the children towards an exciting, memorable and safe adventure at Hermann Sons Life Camp! • Upon the campers first time entering the cabin have a “Cabin Members Meeting.” CREATE the cabin rules together and allow campers time to ask questions about anything they don’t understand. (See Cabin Rules). • Give a tour to show them where all the bathrooms, showers, and shelving for personal possessions are, Also, ask if anyone needs to use the facilities before sitting as a group to cover the rules and learn every camper’s name. • Explain the schedule. Be aware of what activities your campers have chosen to ensure that they are prepared. For example: make sure they have sunscreen, lip balm, carry a full water bottle, wear appropriate footwear, have a bathing suit if needed, etc. LEAD BY EXAMPLE.

• Prevent discipline problems by being clear and fair with the entire group. Be as clear as possible when filling out an Incident Report Form. • Resolve disagreements before they become a serious issue. Discuss the problem with the kids and see if they can come up with reasonable solutions of any dispute. • Remind the kids to brush their teeth and they must SHOWER EVERYDAY! EVERY child must follow this guideline, please talk with Administration if a child refuses to shower. Note: Campers are not allowed to shower in the cabin together, not even in bathing suits. • Turn lights out on-time or early.

• At meal line-ups, be early so you can participate in the songs. Remember to have fun, too. If the kids see that you are participating and having fun they are likely to do the same. Ask them open questions about their morning or afternoon activities! LEAD BY EXAMPLE.

• Wake up no later than the start of the first song. Please do not be late for breakfast.

• Sit with your dorm at all meals. Enjoy conversation and get to know each member of your group. Also make sure they stay seated, are reasonably quiet, maintain respect for other tables, listen when group announcements are made & clean up.

• Turn all lights off (except the outside light at night) when you leave the cabin.

• Always be present both mentally and physically with your cabin during free time. “Active supervision” • To prevent the kids from becoming homesick, keep them active. Do not let them just sit around during free-time. Play games, tell jokes or riddles, braid hair... Active supervision should prevent any potential harassment between campers. Should this occur contact Administration immediately. Hermann Sons Life Camp does not tolerate disrespect between campers.

• Encourage the kids to conserve water by taking shorter showers and by not letting the water run while they are brushing their teeth.

• Ensure windows and doors are shut when not in use. • Keep the thermostat at 74 degrees. • Don’t hesitate to ask for help if you are frustrated or just need a quick five-minute reliever. Notify the Administration Team of any inappropriate (camper or staff) behavior or when you need any help with a homesick child or any illness that may occur. • Never leave a cabin group alone. • Have FUN!

2024 Guide to Camp counseling 2-12-24

GUIDELINES FOR CAMPER INTERACTION (ST.29.1)

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It is the duty of each counselor to provide the best instruction and leadership through knowledge, understanding, and applied ability.

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The camper’s and camp’s best interests are kept in mind.

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Do not discuss personal problems or experiences in front of any campers. Do not discuss other staff and personal relationships in front of campers.

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Remember, your example is what the campers will follow. Always be a role model.

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Encourage campers to participate; participation itself is a great reward. Recognition of success that follows will be an even greater reward. Everyone can be successful at something; you can put that “something” within reach of every camper.

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Counselors should ALWAYS follow the bathing suit rule. A staff member should never touch a camper in any area of their body that is or could be covered by a bathing suit.

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Genuine praise, a “pat on the back” or a “high five” is a great boost to a camper in building selfconfidence. Be free, but genuine with your praise.

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Children are praised less frequently when they do things right (as opposed to criticism when they do it wrong). Recognize positive moments.

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Catch the campers doing something right every day.

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People judge our program by what they see. A well-organized activity can have a very positive impact.

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Remember, we are constantly in public view, both on and off-property.

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Never discuss a camper with anyone other than involved staff members or administrative staff. Discuss problems discreetly and privately. Be careful when referring to campers in public places; never use their last names.

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Be professional at all times with regard to your job.

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If anything, out of the ordinary occurs, discuss it with the Director to avoid misunderstandings and exaggerations. Always fill out an incident report form.

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Be constantly aware of each camper as an individual and know his/her interests. Do not let him/her get lost in the group but make them feel a part of it. Refer any serious problems to the Director.

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Public relations are an important part of our job. Go out of your way to be courteous to everyone with whom you come in contact. Greet your campers’ parents and when possible, keep them informed about their campers’ stay.

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Upon the camper’s arrival, it is important to try to be more than a camper’s “friend” as this will come naturally from mutual respect. Be fair to the campers. Be honest and lead them with enthusiasm.

2024 Guide to Camp counseling 2-12-24

TIPS FOR CABIN COUNSELORS/INSTRUCTORS (ST.29.1)

Regardless of how hard you try to make your campers cooperate and work together; you may find yourself frustrated if the only ways you use to get your kids to do the things you want them to is to NAG. Instead, there are many POSITIVE TACTICS you can utilize. Keep in mind though, no single technique works every time. •

Establish a rapport with the camper. This involves seeing things from the camper’s perspective. For instance, teens will often magnify the smallest thing, and may be devastated by actions that you will shrug off.

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Recognize when you are wrong and when a camper is correct.

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Use countdowns: Give 5 – 10-minute warnings for lights-out, leaving the cabin, end of meal, etc.

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Keep your instructions simple and consistent. Campers need to know what is expected of them.

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Ask open-ended questions. This will often help the camper to solve his own problem or arrive at the “right” conclusion.

If you have a slow cabin of kids, build in extra time (prompt these children to start earlier) to be on-time.

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Keep the MORE DIFFICULT child closer to you (at meals, in line). Close physical proximity helps make their routine consistent.

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Use the same phrases and order of events for clean-up and similar kinds of activities.

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Give immediate feedback. Make your feedback positive.

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Use touch when talking to or instructing a camper. A flat hand on: o Hand on shoulder o upper arm or o upper back

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Ask the camper to repeat back to you what you said or asked for or just instructed. Take care to do this in a way that does not humiliate them in front of other children.

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Build your camper’s self-esteem. Catch the camper doing something right!

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Be specific with praise. Don’t let your praise lose its quality and value.

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Lead by example. If it’s “do as I say,” it must also be “do as I do.”

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Never make the camper feel small or inconsequential. Sarcastic humor won’t endear you to the campers and won't get them to do what you want.

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Don’t correct the camper in front of other campers if possible.

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Focus on the behavior not the essence of the camper.

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Be consistent. In summary, when living in a dorm. 1. Always explain the rules. 2. Always apply the rules. 3. Be consistent in your treatment of all children. 4. Model the rules. 5. Smile and most importantly… 6. Ask for help. If you need a break, if you’re dealing with a child’s difficult behavior… YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

2024 Guide to Camp counseling 2-12-24

IDENTIFYING CAMPER BEHAVIOR – HOMESICKNESS (SD. 21.1D)

It’s normal… and expected! Every camper and, most staff members if they are being truly honest, get homesick from time to time during the summer. It is NOT unnatural for a child to feel isolated and alone. To MISS the comfort and security of their home, their dog, their parents. Experiencing homesickness is actually one of the true benefits of a summer camp stay. This is not a bad thing. As a counselor, you should not treat campers as “lepers”. A homesick child should be viewed upon as a challenge to be embraced. We can all be great counselors to kids who are having a great time with no obvious signs of issues. What stands great counselors apart is their ability to work with campers that are not easy. Campers that require a little more attention. Campers that need the care and compassion of a well-trained counselor.

Many times, a camper will arrive at camp, pre-disposed to having a difficult transition to camp. Parents will unknowingly set their child up to fail at camp. • “The home will be empty without you.” • “I don’t know what I’ll do without you!” While well intentioned and heartfelt it will ensure the child will have guilty feelings if they start having a good time while their parent will be crying at home because they miss them so much! Remember a time you have been homesick? Campers coming from good homes with loving parents are surely going to miss that environment when • they are placed in a cabin with strangers… • their routines are drastically altered… • everyone else speaks a strange language.

• • • •

• their counselor has a strange accent and is telling them to hurry up and get out of the shower. • but especially if there is a camper or campers making their life miserable.

Some of the different reasons that a child might be homesick first time away from home • divorced parent situation and missing time with a parent while at Camp previous poor experience at a camp • a friend or sibling is at camp with them and homesick. worried about parents or family back home • a camper who genuinely does not want to be at camp. recent death in the family

A FEW THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN DISCUSSING HOMESICKNESS

1. It is not unusual… It’s normal. 2. There is no cure all. Just like the reasons for homesickness, there is no one solution solves all… or is there? 3. FRIENDS. The most important part of helping a camper through their homesickness is for them to make friends. If a camper is having fun with their friends in the dorm, they are with a counselor who cares about them, and their primal needs are being met (Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs) then they are less likely to show overt signs of homesickness and more likely to join in and participate. 4. As a counselor, your primary job in concerning homesickness is to create a safe, caring environment. Provide the campers an environment free of bullying and peer pressure by actively supervising the campers. • Listening to the interactions within the • Knowing your campers… are they in camp cabin group. alone? • Leading the campers in group • Creating an environment where activities. friendships develop easily. 5. It is counter-productive to pull a homesick camper out of the cabin group for extended periods of time. They need to develop friendships and bonds with the campers in their cabin. THAT IS THE PRIMARY GOAL. At the first sign of homesickness, it is important for the counselor to show caring and concern to the camper. That does not mean rush them away to the Senior Counselor and feel you have done a great job. You have not.

2024 Guide to Camp counseling 2-12-24

6. ACTIVE SUPERVISION HELPS PREVENT BULLYING… AND HELPS AGAINST SEVERE HOMESICKNESS What evening activities are we doing this week? What can the camper look forward to? Do they know about what activities they will be doing this week? It is important to give campers something to look forward to in camp. Be excited about your 9th dance of the summer. It may be the camper’s first dance. Are they nervous about the dance? Are they worried about an evening activity? Are they scared and do not want to be singled out in a group? Are they getting mail from home? Homesickness can spring up from getting too much mail or not enough. Are buddies in the cabin getting packages daily and they get one email in three days? Again, this is asking questions and being observant in the dining hall. Ask the camper questions to get to the bottom of the issue. Is it homesickness? The signs and symptoms of homesickness look a lot like the signs and symptoms of bullying. Some questions to ask • • • • •

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What were they excited about when coming to Camp? What activities did they want to do? Are they getting the activities they want? Did they come with a friend? Do they have any concerns or issues that they would like to share?

Do they have any friends in the cabin? Do they like the campers in the cabin? Is anyone annoying them? Is anyone bothering them? Can you think of any other great questions to ask?

What do we do as a camp? We prepare the parents to the best of our ability before camp and instruct them on how to prepare their child for camp. We create an active daily program that reduces time during the day that campers must think about home. Understand, rest period is bad for homesickness. Meal programs can be created to take a “hotspot” for homesickness and create a fun, environment. Dorms sit together to allow more time for campers to bond with their cabin mates. To interact in a normal environment under the watchful eye of the counselors and dorm CITs who can guide and monitor the campers. Chat with the ones that do not seem to be gelling with the group. Is everyone eating properly? This is another factor in

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homesickness. Are the campers’ basic needs being met? o Music, Who has Hermann? Graces, Chants all help diminish a down time in camp. • We provide counselors support if they have a camper experiencing homesickness. Senior Counselors are there for the staff member and, if necessary, the camper. • We keep the parents informed. They are a valuable resource on their child. Why would they be homesick? What activities were they looking forward to participating in at camp? Do they have friends from home at camp? (Are they friends at camp? Are they spreading gossip about the child?)

Every homesick child is a case requiring individual attention and sincere care. Homesickness should be treated quickly. Campers should not be crying for hours with no steps being made to try to appease the child’s concerns.

BE ALERT Use your eyes and ears for any signs of homesickness. Possible signs of homesick campers are: • •

Withdrawing from group activities, cabin time, or meal conversations. Difficulty getting their full attention because they are upset or wandering off.

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Crying, complaining, or the camper is telling you or other campers that they are homesick, missing family, or just not feeling well.

IF YOU KNOW A CAMPER IS HOMESICK • • • • • •

Do not allow anyone to ridicule the homesick camper. Listen to the camper’s concerns. Empathize with the child’s concerns; we have all been there at some point and time. Let them know they are not alone and that it is normal to miss home. Encourage activities to help them make/find a buddy. Try and engage the camper in activities to get their mind

• •

off home. Check in with the camper often to let them know you are there for them. Talk with a Senior Counselor and find out more information about where the camper is coming from. In extreme cases the parents may be called to find out more insights about the child.

2024 Guide to Camp counseling 2-12-24

IF THE CAMPER IS STRUGGLING WITH HOMESICKNESS Don’t take it personally when a child in your cabin gets homesick. NEVER try to solve the problem alone. Seek out help if you seem to be getting nowhere. If the child’s homesickness is affecting the group continuously in a detrimental way, you must seek assistance from a Senior Counselor. Only under rare circumstances would the child speak to his/her parents on the phone. This is decided by the Camp Director. More often than not, when a homesick child speaks to a parent, the situation becomes more difficult to handle. An Assistant Director or Camp Director will always prepare the parent when a child will be calling home and collaborate on how best handle the situation.

STRATEGIES FOR HELPING HOMESICK CAMPERS The first step you should take is simply talking to the camper. It is important to remember that you should never put yourself in a situation where you are 1:1 with a camper. Remind them that it is okay to feel homesick and that everyone feels a little homesick at some point in their life. “It’s good that you miss home, it means it must be a cool place to live.” Ask the camper questions… Get them talking about something they know like. Football, baseball, horses, drama, school. Try to find the root of the homesickness (i.e. maybe they are being bullied or aren’t getting any mail). Sometimes it’s just a simple solution to the problem. The more you know, the easier it is to help! When talking to a camper, start a game. Cards, rafter ball, etc. Once you get going, maybe invite a couple of other campers in the dorm to join in. Sometimes homesick campers just need a little extra attention and that does the trick. Campers with friends struggle much less with homesickness. Who do they walk to their activities with? Are they alone going from activity to activity? Are they afraid of getting lost? Perhaps in the younger dorms – pair up campers with similar activity cards. Make an activity of working out who is in what activities – and what period. It is important to use all the counselors in your assigned cabin as resources because another staff member may better relate to the specific camper. If nothing above works, start trying other methods such as those listed below. The following methods/ topics that can be used in any order and some may be successful with campers while other times they may not work. METHOD 1: EXCITEMENT TALK Talk to the camper about all the excitement that is still to come at Camp. Talk about their activities. Talk about the Blue and Red Games. Talk about Freaky Funday, the water carnival, the water balloon fight, talk about Game Night, talk about the Dance (on RS and especially if they have siblings on the other camp), talk about Capture the Flag, etc. etc. “You can’t go home because there is too much fun coming up! We have the dance tomorrow and that is so fun! Plus, there are cookies! Thursday is (the talent show or free sport) and that is always a blast too! Friday Funday, and that’s the best day ever! Then Saturday is here, and you get to go home!”

METHOD 2: TIME FLIES WHEN YOU’RE HAVING FUN Ask the campers what their least favorite subject is at school. Say, “When you’re in Math class, doesn’t it go by really slowly?” Then ask the camper what their favorite subject is and say, “So, when you are having fun in Reading, doesn’t it go by fast?” Remind them that if they try to have fun this week at Camp it will go by much faster than if they are sad and not trying.

Sometimes just getting their mind off of crying and being homesick will completely turn around their day.

METHOD 4: CALENDAR COUNTDOWN First, ask the camper when they are feeling the most homesick. If a camper says during mealtimes, you could create a countdown calendar for them that would include all of the remaining meals for the session. This is a good visual reminder for the camper of exactly how much time if left and it also allows them the opportunity to cross off the things they have already completed. The little goals of checking off each meal make it seem like the week is more do-able to a homesick camper.

METHOD 5: DESCRIBE THE ROOM Have the camper close their eyes and imagine their room. Have them describe everything about their room to you (the walls, their furniture, what’s hanging on the wall, etc.). Then describe your room to them in the same way. This will make them feel comforted just by talking about home. Remind them that when they feel sad, they can always close their eyes and think about home, and it can comfort them even when they are not there.

METHOD 3: TALK IT OUT Sometimes campers just need you to talk to them. You can ask them questions about home and what they like to do for fun.

2024 Guide to Camp counseling 2-12-24

An article on homesickness from the ACA HELPING THE HOMESICK CAMPER Many campers experience homesickness. This article will advise summer camp counselors how to help their campers overcome homesickness. SHARE For campers of any age, attending an overnight camp for the first time can be cause for a case of homesickness — a normal and reasonable reaction to separation from home and coping with unfamiliar surroundings. From my observations, it is best understood as a temporary state of anxiety caused by missing family, pets, and rituals that bring comfort and stability to a child’s life. A second component to homesickness, however, is equally important. This is the strange newness of residential camp life that can cause anxiety in a camper who perceives they do not fit in. They may not like or understand camp life, with its traditions, group activities, cliques of returning campers, and zaniness. Or they may feel alienated by new kinds of food, use of a group bathroom, or the darkness. The overriding concern is apt to be “Will I make friends?”

As you know (and may have experienced yourself as a camper), some campers are sad and/or anxious during the first few days of a camp session. They can display these feelings outwardly with words and tears, or inwardly by staying outside of the circle of activity and remaining quiet. Before discussing ways to ensure that campers are able to complete the camp session, I should clarify that I’m cautious about giving advice or listing a set of inflexible steps to help end homesickness. Each camper brings to camp a unique nature and history, and each of you, as camp counselors, have your own special way of interacting with youth who have not settled easily into life at camp. Please view the suggestions here as a complement to your own intuitive style. Experience leads me to believe that there are some highly effective ways of steering a homesick camper toward a pathway into the camp community. These thoughts are not linear steps that need be followed in any particular order. Rather, I offer a few thoughtful touchstones that you can consider when interacting with a homesick camper. ©2024 Hermann Son Life Camp

Nathaniel “Nat” Shed May 1, 2019 DO YOUR RESEARCH Once you have ascertained that a camper has persistent homesickness, do your best to find out from the camp director, program director, and/or fellow staff members as much as you can about the camper. Try to learn about their hometown, family, favorite game, sport, etc. These will be helpful starting points for a one-on-one conversation. Of course, you will also get crucial information from the camper by asking questions about home, siblings, pets, and interests in sports, music, reading, or movies; and perhaps probe to see if a divorce, or death in the family, or another situation at home, may be the underlying cause of the sadness or anger. WALK AND TALK Try taking a walk with the camper away from the rest of the campers in a location that is at the same time private and in view of others. You are about to have a supportive and caring interaction, so the location is very important. Consider not using the camp office, health center, or a cabin. I have found that walking around camp is the best option for putting a camper at ease, and the physical act of walking reduces the stress the camper is facing. Do maintain a good line of sight to other campers and staff so the camper feels safe being part of a one-on-one conversation. GIVE OPTIONS When you give a camper options, it allows them to feel in control of the situation. This is very helpful because most homesick campers feel as if they have limited options. Here are a few sample questions you could ask (I am sure you can come up with your own as well): • “Do you want to walk around the field, or do you prefer to sit under this tree?” • “Do you need to cry some more, or are you ready to talk a little?” • “Do you want to have a snack from the kitchen, or shall we get a stuffed animal from your cabin?”

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TRY AN “UP AND OUT” Hear the camper and be understanding of how they feel. It is good to get to a place where the camper can stop crying or being angry and begin to let go of some of their emotional distress and/or sadness. Sometimes it works to sit next to the camper and ask them to breathe slowly and evenly with you. Let the camper cry, offer them a tissue, and let them cry some more. Keep using the deep breathing to help the camper slowly calm down. Sometimes, if the timing is right, an “up and out” will work with a camper. This is a silly or imaginative question or task, a positive or humorous distraction that can take a camper from a bad place to a clearer state of mind. An “up and out” can be a question (or directive) like: • “If you had five cats, what would you name them?” • “What item would you never put in a freezer?” • “Try and spell your name backwards.” OVERCOME THE MANTRAS Two phrases often dominate the homesick camper’s mind: “I want to go home,” and, in some cases, “My parents said they would pick me up if I didn’t like camp.” I call these “mantras” because the camper has convinced themselves that going home is the only option. It is your role to change this thinking and, with persistent, multiple strategies, to set a new course for a different outcome. Try saying something like this: “Before you think about going home, you’ll need to spend some more time getting to know your cabinmates, and you have to take part in some of the terrific camp programs.” Or “For any camper to leave camp, we need to first get permission from the camp director, and we also need to talk with your parents.” BUY TIME Because, in most cases, the camper has not experienced the joy of camp life and all the excitement yet to come, you will need to get the camper to agree to stay at camp and give it a try. Here’s one option: “Please give me and Camp Firewood a chance. We’ve talked about some of the things that you like about life at camp. How about taking the next 72 hours to try to enjoy camp and get involved with X activity and Y program?” Try not to make any promises you can’t keep, and do not offer a bribe to change behavior. You can offer incentives such as, “If you have a good day and participate in X program, I’ll tell a special story to your cabin tonight,” but don’t tell a camper they will get to go home if this or that happens.

Continue to Show Interest Camper homesickness can be varied and unique, so you will need to delve deeper to understand a camper’s specific struggles at camp. Perhaps ask: • “What are some of the things that trigger your sadness or homesickness?” • “What time of day are you the most worried or sad?” • “What memories of home and family make you feel sad or alone?” It is important that you learn what is special and good about this camper. Ask questions and listen with a minimal amount of feedback or comments. For example: • “What did you like about the day camp you went to last summer?” • “Why do you think your parents wanted you come to camp?” • “What are you worried about or scared of?” These kinds of questions can sometimes bring back sadness and tears, and that’s OK. Crying is an important part of letting go and healing. So, take the time to just sit with and support the camper, and let them cry. Sometimes it is a comfort to just be still and quiet until the camper has had a chance to gather their thoughts. TELL A STORY When the time is right, tell a positive story about a young person who was able to move from sadness to contentment. Your story can show a camper who is struggling that homesickness can be a good thing. I use narratives like this: “A few summers ago, I sat at this very picnic table with a camper named Jason, who desperately wanted to go home. When we were walking back to the playing field after talking, I asked him to say three nice things to three people at camp. First, to my surprise, he said three nice things about me; then we saw his counselor, Dave, whom he also paid three compliments. Then I said, ‘You’re on your own! Go find a camper and say something nice.’ I don’t know if he said three nice things to another camper, but a few minutes later, I did see him playing tetherball.” Weave into the story the idea that it takes strength to get over homesickness (Thompson, 2012): “This is a terrific step for you because you’re learning ways to make what feels like a bad situation better.” You can also ask the camper to talk about what they have done to get over a hardship or crisis at school or at home. If they have trouble answering, offer another story about overcoming a hardship. Storytelling is effective because it provides a powerful example of the courage it takes to 2024 Guide to Camp counseling 2-12-24

create one’s own pathway to well-being at camp — or in life! ENCOURAGE MORE PARTICIPATION Close your one-on-one time with the camper by planning for them to transition into camp life. Help the camper come up with three or more actions they will take during the next few days to extend themselves into camp life. Then have them complete one of the steps right away. If the camper remains reluctant, try having them tell the cook that the pancakes at breakfast were great, or ask them to volunteer for a chore. When a camper can give praise and/or help others, it is very hard for them to stay sad or feel lonely. To ensure success during the camper’s adjustment, share the camper’s issues and the plan for getting them more involved with your fellow counselors, activity leaders, and camp leadership so they can keep an eye on the camper too. Consider asking one or two of the more mature campers to help draw the homesick camper into camp life. This may require you to facilitate. Ask them to invite the camper to sit with them during lunch or to see if the camper would like to learn how to make a friendship bracelet, etc. However, you should not encourage the other campers to counsel or advise the homesick camper. STAY CONNECTED Follow-up is reassuring. Make sure you discreetly check in with the camper at likely homesick times. These trigger times are apt to be rest hour, times between programs, after dinner, and bedtime. Keep camp leaders and the camp nurse up to date on any progress or emotional setbacks. If you have a day off coming up, ask at least one other staff person to take over your supportive and loving role. Be aware that from the time you first reach out to a homesick camper, you are taking responsibility for compassionately guiding that camper from distraught to embracing camp life. You will find that the vast majority of homesick campers will respond positively when you learn about them individually, choose an appropriate setting to talk, give options, change the focus, ask questions, tell stories, and stay connected. The caring and careful guidance you offer to homesick campers this summer can help to ensure that they have a rewarding and life-changing experience in this and future summers.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. A great way to move a camper away from the negative patterns that are associated with homesickness is to give options. What options would you offer to a homesick camper? 2. To work through homesickness, it is really important to push past the repeated mantra “I want to go home.” Brainstorm some lines you could use to “buy time” with a camper. 3. Why is using an “up and out” strategy useful to a camper who is homesick? Give a few examples of “up and out” directives or questions you could use with a homesick camper. 4. Why is it helpful to allow a camper to cry for as long as they need to cry? 5. Share a story that you could tell a homesick camper with the aim of helping them find the courage to make a pathway to being part of the camp community.

Reference Thompson, M. (2012). Homesick and happy: How time away from parents can help a child grow. New York, NY: Random House. Nathaniel “Nat” Shed is a retired camp director with 25 years of camp leadership experience. He is a consultant to camps and nonprofit organizations. Reach Nat at nrshed@gmail.com.

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IDENIFYING CAMPER BEHAVIOR – BULLYING(ST.301.1B) • • •

Counselors Practicing ACTIVE SUPERVISION are essential in preventing bullying. Counselors Practicing ACTIVE SUPERVISION are essential in preventing homesickness. Counselors Practicing ACTIVE SUPERVISION are essential in providing an excellent camp experience.

Our job as counselors is to identify, stop and prevent bullying. “Boys will be boys”, is no longer an acceptable attitude to have in camping. ¾ of kids involved in school shootings have been bullied. 49/50 states now have bullying prevention laws compared to 15 years ago when less than a handful had laws on the books. On the punishment side, five states don’t have any sanctions for bullying in their anti-bullying laws, while 12 states include a criminal sanction for bullies, ranging from school suspension to jail time, according to an analysis of state bullying laws from the Cyberbullying Research Center. Montana is the only state with no law to address bullying. • The average length of time a bullying episode lasts is 28 seconds. • The average length of time a bullying episode lasts if a bystander intervenes is 7 seconds!

WHAT IS BULLYING? Bullying is the abuse of the difference of power. IN CAMP

Bullying is being mean or leaving people out on purpose. Bullying is an ongoing and repeated behavior.

Do these signs/symptoms look like anything else?

A camper making a rude remark is not necessarily a bully.

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF BULLYING? • • • • •

Homesickness?

Loss of appetite Not joining in activities or games Crying Not sleeping Keeping themselves to themselves in the cabin.

THERE ARE 3 GROUPS OF PEOPLE INVOLVED IN BULLYING. • • •

The Bully. The Victim. The Bystander.

VICTIMS There are two types of victim. 1. PASSIVE OR SUBMISSIVE • •

• •

Physically weaker. They are afraid of being hurt, have poor physical condition and don’t do well in sports. Cautious, sensitive, quiet, shy & withdrawn Anxious, sensitive, cry or become easily upset

• •

Poor self-esteem Have difficulty standing up for themselves.

2. PROVOCATIVE VICTIMS • • •

Have poor social skills and appear to instigate bullying (ADD/ADHD) Clumsy, immature and exhibit irritating habits Hot tempered and attempt to fight back when victimized

• • • •

Do not develop strong friendships Hyperactive, restless Pick on smaller kids Kids that get bullied can also be bullies.

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MOST CAMPERS ARE IN THE THIRD CATEGORY

3. BYSTANDERS Typically, bystanders do nothing about bullying because they… • • • •

•

Do not know what to do, what to say, who to tell. Are afraid to get involved. May consider the bully a friend. Thinks the target “asks for it.”

• •

Thinks the target should “stand up for themselves.” Most are pleased they are not the victim. See adults ignore it… so why can’t they!

It is important in the camp setting that we, as staff do not allow bullying to occur. • • •

If you hear someone calling a camper a name… STOP IT! If you use bad language and allow the kids to use bad language… This will be intimidating to some campers. If you hear a camper make an off-the-cuff comment… ADDRESS IT!

DIFFERENT TYPES OF BULLYING • • • •

CLIQUES are a form of Relational Bullying.

Physical Verbal Cyber Relational

DYNAMICS OF BULLYING • 80% of children have developed the social skill to function well in their own age-related space without significant adult intervention. They can deal with conflict, “stay cool”, “let it go” etc. They learn these situations are usually temporary. • “Social Dominance” • Top 20% - need to dominate and lead. Top of the totem pole • Middle 60% - These and the top 20% can manage much of the bullying and aggression they experience on their own.

• Bottom 20% - Bullying is especially problematic. Their emotional reactions are an open invitation to aggression from the kid(s) who want power and control over them. The bully sees an easy target to impress those around him. • Male Bullies – tend to use more physical violence. • Females – physical violence is increasing at an alarming rate however it is more likely to be more within social circles, harder to identify.

BULLYING AT CAMP - Camp is the perfect place to address bullying but also a place for it to develop. Why can bullying be more prevalent at camp? • Bullying peaks during middle school years between the ages of ten and fourteen. These are the majority of ages for kids attending camp.

• Campers are seeking immediate acceptance and popularity so they might latch on to a leader’s example or even try and become the dominant person immediately. • Returning campers may like to stamp their authority early. • Camp can develop competitiveness amongst campers, which can increase division and hierarchy.

Why camp can be the perfect place to address bullying: • Camp creates environments where kids can succeed. By enhancing confidence, competence and esteem campers have the potential to leave camp with more positive feelings about themselves. • A NEW START – Camp creates opportunities for positive social interaction away from stigmas and stereotypes they may have at home. Campers have an opportunity to create a new identity, showing their BEST selves to others. • Camp is a place designed for positive nurturance and development. ©2024 Hermann Son Life Camp

• Counselors are unique role models that campers may not have seen before. Different from parents, teachers, family etc. Counselors have a possible influence, much greater than previous mentors. • By living with those they are bullying, bullies have a chance to see the residual effect, with the help of a counselor that they may not get after leaving every day to go home after school.

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SO, WE’VE IDENTIFIED BULLYING. HOW DO WE ADDRESS IT? 1. STOP THE BEHAVIOR • • •

Interrupt the comment or stop the physical harassment. Do not pull the camper aside for confidentiality. Make sure all campers hear you addressing the action. This is a little controversial. But demonstrating that bullying has no place in camp will send a message to the entire dorm.

2. IDENTIFY THE BEHAVIOR

SEE CABIN RULES and CONSEQUENCES!

• Turn the focus on the behavior, not the camper. o That was name-calling. o That was pushing. o That’s rumor spreading. 3. • • • •

REMIND THE CAMPERS OF OUR EXPECTATIONS (Cabin rules) We do not treat people that way. We want everyone to have a great summer camp experience. We treat everyone with respect. How others feel is important.

4. REMIND CAMPERS OF BEHAVIOR EXPECTATIONS • • •

Call people by their name Treat others as you wish to be treated. Be aware of other’s feelings.

RECAP • • • • • • • •

KEEP FOCUS ON THE BULLY AND THEIR BEHAVIOR. Follow the FOUR steps listed above. 20 – 30 seconds MAX Check back with the victim later! We must be consistent as a staff in addressing this behavior. Starts with the rules. Rules must be Observable, Enforceable, Logical, Specific, Positive and have input from the campers. PROFESSIONAL APPROACH Be assertive, but also mindful of how we communicate. • Calm demeanor • Neutral tone of voice • Body language • Choice of words • Eye contact So, this is all well and good if we see the behavior. We do not always see the behavior. We do not always see the events. So, when we identify the behavior, use the following phrases when going through the four steps: • Campers are complaining that…” • “A counselor has indicated that…” • “It has been brought to my attention that…”

Possible responses from the aggressor • Denies all wrongdoing. • Trivializes the event. • Counter attacks. What does a bystander do to prevent further bullying? • Don’t join in. • Tell the bullies to stop.

• • • • •

Claims victim status and/or accuses the other camper of starting the episode. Tries to cast the bullied student as the bully. Counts on the support of the bystanders.

Separate the bully from the camper being bullied. Report to a trusted adult.

Reporting to an adult is the hardest one for campers aged 9 through 14 to do. Campers have a tough time coming to terms with the feeling that they are tattling. It is not snitching if you are trying to get someone out of trouble. • Reporting a camper for reading a comic book in class is tattling. • Reporting an incident that you saw a camper get hit is HELPING.

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SAFETY ISSUES - EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL •

•

Keep boundaries - This means that while it is great to share your own experience (like if you were once homesick or afraid to try something etc.), news about your private sexual or romantic life is not appropriate to share with your campers (even though they may be curious about it and ask you!) The other side of this is respecting distance that campers may need. What campers share with us about themselves is privileged. When we don’t respect that, we lose their trust. Set limits - As you may have heard children don’t have good “brakes”. What that means is they often do not know when to stop. Setting limits means helping a child take “no” for an answer! (Remember: When children feel out of control, they

do not feel safe - and someone may get hurt) •

Allow children to “save face” - What children fear more than anything else is being humiliated - being made to feel small. If you characteristically deal with children in such a way that you leave them feeling this way, they will resent you and stop listening to you.

•

Acknowledging growth, change or adaptation - “You know Billy, you’ve really come a long way! You haven’t been afraid at all this week!!” “Sally, three days ago you wouldn’t have been able to say that!”

•

Children need to hear us notice they are growing up!

STAFF & GOSSIP While I do not want to know what you do on your time off, it is important to understand that, as a Camp counselor your actions and behavior has a bearing on your ability to perform your job. You are all adults. If you are involved in a consenting relationship that is your business. There are boundaries that you need to understand and be aware of. • •

Campers should NEVER know anything about your personal relationships. As a staff member, you do not discuss your fellow staff members personal business with the campers or other staff members.

Campers will ask. You NEVER give them any information that pertains to your night off. You never give them any details about your private life. • • • •

Where are you going? Who are you going with? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you have a boyfriend?

• • • •

Are you gay? Are you a virgin? How many times have you had sex? Why is your tongue pierced?

Why will they ask you these questions? They are curious. Our job is to provide campers a safe, caring environment. They do not keep secrets. They will tell their parents. They will tell their friends. They will spread the gossip. There are No Secrets in Camp. Be respectful to your fellow staff members. The staff lounge is provided to all staff for your usage.

•

Respect each other’s values and privacy.

Do not make the lounge or the spot uncomfortable for others to use. You are not doing anyone any favors by spreading gossip. Keep a professional distance from the campers. Remember at all times you are an employee of Hermann Sons Life Camp.

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WHAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE WHEN WORKING WITH CHILDREN by Bob Ditter

•

Countdown - Children lose track of time easily. Giving them a five-minute warning before the end of a period helps them make the transition easier.

•

Allow the children to be “experts” - Many children come to camp with a lot of knowledge about hobbies, sports even about camp, having come back several years in a row. Allowing children to show off what they know acknowledging their expertise - helps them to feel a sense of mastery and is a great way to establish mutual respect. Tip: Have returning campers show new campers around.

•

Listen - Most children are so used to adults not listening to them that they will be impressed when you do! Feeling unheard (or misunderstood, which is just another form of feeling unheard) is one of the worst feelings there is.

•

Share your “self” - Sharing your own experiences in appropriate ways helps children see their own experiences as more normal. Besides, children seldom have the opportunity to engage with adults in meaningful ways. Camp is a place where this can happen!

ACTIVE SUPERVISION (ST.25.1D) (ST.28.1)

So, throughout this manual I’m using the phrase Active Supervision. What do we mean by the phrase: ACTIVE SUPERVISION? As you have been told, the purpose of the counselor is to be there for the camper. Create an environment that is conducive to campers feeling safe. Actively supervising the campers is a 24/7 responsibility. It is easy to do at the activity site. As a smart, knowledgeable adult, you understand that if you are not active when belaying campers… there is a high level of danger. What is less evident is the importance of Active Supervision during cabin time. Cabin time is an incredible opportunity for you to “hang- out” with your campers. Get to know them. Ask questions. Be interested in them and their experience at HERMANN SONS LIFE CAMP. If you are not scheduled “Time-Off” then you are working. This is not time to be sleeping on your bed, reading a book, wearing your iPod or zoning out – you are to be actively supervising the campers in your care. Unstructured cabin time, statistically in camping, is the most dangerous time on camp. It is the camper’s Rest Period not yours. • • •

This is where the true value and greatest impact on the life of a child happens.

RULE OF THREE (ST.28.1) (ST.36.1)

No staff member, nor CIT should ever be alone with a camper where others cannot see. It is always important to remember that if you are taking a camper to the dorm to use the rest room – you stay outside while the camper enters the dorm to use the rest room. Walking a camper to the clinic or the dorm is acceptable during the day because there is no expectation of privacy. Sitting on a camper’s bed is acceptable (if invited) during relaxation time where there are many campers and staff in the immediate vicinity.

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AGE CHARACTERISTICS AT CAMP (ST.25.1B)

PRACTICAL CAMP APPLICATIONS (8 – 10) POSITIVES • • • • • • •

Very caring. Wants to think they are older and more independent but still like stories, and hugs. Asleep well before 10:00pm. Can be motivated with proper guidance. Will help with chores. Great sense of humor. Always make you laugh. Always willing to try new things. Look up to their counselor. You don’t need to earn their respect but can lose it very quickly.

NEGATIVES • • • • • • • •

Infrequent temper tantrums. Bed wetting still a problem. Cabin clean up. It’s all on the counselor to cover the camper’s tracks! Counselor will have to redo a lot of their camper's efforts. Struggle to follow direction. Wander a lot. Still require 24/7 supervision. Difficult time with the basics... showers, brushing teeth/hair, dressing, etc. Need constant reminding. You must make sure the campers are taking showers. They will try to fake you!

PRACTICAL CAMP APPLICATIONS (11 – 13) NEUTRAL • • •

Wants independence but still want affection. Detects unfair and fair treatment easily. Need a great deal of support.

POSITIVES • • • • • • • • • •

Good sense of humor. Normally respects authority. All talk, no action (i.e. cabin raids.). Feelings of hatred aimed at adults are short lived. Few temper tantrums. Talk about a variety of subjects in a funny way. Strong sense of friendship. Strong sense of trust. Generally easy to solve cabin problems. Respond well to offer of simple rewards.

PRACTICAL CAMP APPLICATIONS (11 – 13) Cont. NEGATIVES • • • • • • • • •

PRACTICAL CAMP APPLICATIONS (CIT’s 14 – 16) NEUTRAL • • • •

Looking for acceptance of peers. Able to be their friend. Varying background and cultures become a challenge. All campers look to the seniors, they want to be like them.

POSITIVES • • • • • •

More mature - You will be able to have excellent communication on a mature level. Not high counselor maintenance in personal living skills. i.e. showers, teeth. Counselors can influence them, i.e. ideas, motivation, ability, emulation, ease. Easier to relate to - age difference not that great. More responsible. (See below) More independence.

NEGATIVES • • • • • • • •

All want attention at the same time. Tend to be more homesick. Get emotionally upset easily. Hard to tell if they desire or do not desire adult affection. Tend to hang onto and depend on others more. Hard to get them to do chores or shower. Not a lot of independence can be given. Feed off each other’s emotions. Continual horseplay.

Very cliquey May smoke/drink (and ask you to provide!) Up late, very late. Attitude: "I pay to come here; you can't tell me." Foul language More irresponsible. Requires constant supervision, though not as hands-on as in the youngest divisions. One camper can influence the whole cabin. They know the camp - may have been coming for many years and they will test you. Important to draw an authoritative role, so that they do not push all over you

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WORKING WITH ADD/ADHD CHILDREN Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) seem to be coming to camp in greater numbers than ever. They have probably always been there, just without the label. One reason we may be seeing ADHD children in greater numbers is that the medical professions have gotten better at identifying it. Another reason may be that the stigma about ADHD seems to be decreasing in intensity for many parents. Success in working with these children at camp depends on a number of factors: • • • •

First you must have some understanding of the syndrome itself and what it is and what it is not. Second, you must be able to obtain accurate information from parents before the child comes to camp. Third, you must have some tools for working with that child practical strategies that are easily executed by your staff. Finally, you should also have some cursory knowledge of the medication issues involved in treating ADHD so that you can speak intelligently with parents, staff, children and the prescribing physician.

ADHD – WHAT IS IT? Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) is a combination of symptoms that include inattention, distractibility, impulsiveness & other difficulties associated with attention. Behaviors associated with ADHD include fidgeting, being easily distracted, difficulty in following directions or instructions, daydreaming, interrupting others, losing or misplacing things and having difficulty finishing task or assignments. Organizationally, children with ADHD are a mess! There’s a lot of confusion & misunderstanding about this syndrome. Some of the difficulty comes from the nature of “attention” itself. Attention and the ability to maintain one’s attention is greatly influenced by a number of factors, including mood, motivation, environmental circumstances, level of fatigue and so on. Even individuals with brain damage have better or poorer performance with motivation changes. However, children who have a legitimate attention deficit do have tremendous difficulty keeping up with other children.

HYPERACTIVITY IN CHILDREN Many children can, from time to time, behave in a highly active manner. “Hyperactivity” can be caused by many factors excitement about being at camp or at a favorite camp activity; anxiety about being away from home or in the company of people who are not quite friends yet; or nervousness about performing in a new arena. There are also “clinical” reasons for a child’s overactive behavior. These include (a) having ADHD. This is organic - based in the brain; (b) having had a trauma (death of a parent or divorce), from which a child has not yet recovered; or (c) being stimulated by highly charged material or information that is producing a lot of anxiety.

It is important for you as a counselor to know whether a camper has a true attention deficit disorder, since children with ADHD often exhibit behavior that is not willful, such as not listening, “messing up” on rules that were just stated or going ahead without permission of the staff. Campers with ADHD, then, need a different kind of partnership with you, since most children with ADHD have trouble paying attention, keeping track of the rules, knowing what is expected of them and so on. Another reason to know who does and who does not have an organically based hyperactivity problem is that some children who look “hyper” may be sending us a “coded message” that is actually a cry for help. In some cases, the help is for better self-control, while in other cases it may be a sign that a child is struggling with an emotional injury they cannot cope with on their own. If you think you have a child who is sending a message like that, tell your Senior Counselor or the nurse. The good news is that most of the same approaches and strategies that work with campers who have ADD/ADHD can be used successfully with all campers who are highly active. For example, most youth with ADHD need more frequent and more immediate feedback from counselors than other children. They need to know when they are doing well and when they are about to go astray or do something not so well. All campers can benefit from that kind of feedback! Children with ADD/ADHD also respond better when: the feedback is positive, the instructions are simplified, commands and rules are stated positively, and a counselor makes better eye contact with them or uses light, appropriate, reassuring touch, like a hand on the shoulder. All of these tactics also work well with other campers too! The single greatest difference between campers who have ADD, and those that do not is that children who can control their behavior if they try, need to get help being accountable for their actions. In other words, you must begin to focus on helping a child take control of him or herself. One of the ways to do this is to stress clearly and simply what your expectations as a counselor are, then to be equally clear about consequences. For children who do not have an organically based problem, and even for children who can gain better control with some effort on their part, such things as earning privileges, losing a privilege, or taking a time out are effective strategies. Remember that your goal as a counselor is to help children master new behavior. If this means being firm, and you can be firm without humiliating a child, then even if they are angry with you, you can help them do some good growing up! Once you are clear that being firm is not being mean, you can take a look at some other strategies that help with children

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who are highly active. Many of these are outlined on the following two pages. For example, in the bunk or with the group, have the rules stated clearly and post them so campers can see them. •

• • •

•

Keep the rules simple. Have campers repeat them back to you so you can confirm that they understand what is expected. Put your commands and rules in positive terms. Break tasks down into smaller steps so they are easier to follow. “Prompt” campers with what you want from them. That means giving them a hint or suggestion before they do something. With very active campers, using rewards works, but you will find that you will have to change the reward frequently, since highly active children get “bored” quickly with whatever you use as the “prize”. Try rewards like a special time with you, special time in a favorite activity or getting to help out with something fun - like helping to light the campfire that night or blowing the whistle at a game, etc. Good supervision in anything you do with an active child is essential! Many highly active children need a “cooling off” time after a strenuous activity. If they don’t get such a moment, they can become irritable and end up in a fight. When coming to the end of an activity period, give the group a several minute “warning” that the activity is about to come to a close. This helps everyone get used to the idea that they will have to stop and put things away. Keep highly active children nearer to you. The closer they are, the easier you can see when they are about to “go off” and the easier it is to monitor them. That means sitting next to or near them at meals and in some group activities.

ADHD/COUNSELORS AND CAMP This behavior is not willful and can be variable (in other words, children with ADHD can concentrate or pay attention sometimes and not others). The counselor should focus on problem areas - such as cabin clean-up, transition times, free play and review the ABCs of behavior: A - Antecedent (what’s going on just before unwanted behavior occurs); B - Behavior (what the child did, how the child reacted); C - Consequence (response of peers, primary counselor, etc.)

CHILDREN WITH ADHD TEND TO: • • • • •

• • • • • •

• •

Feel negative about themselves. Need to be “right” (to them, being wrong = “I’m bad”) and they get into arguments around being right. Become very “bossy” with other children or with adults. React poorly to surprises and unscheduled changes. Be strongly drawn to emotionally charged materials or events such as: swearing, sexualized ways of talking or behaving, gossiping personal information about others, graffiti, petty vandalism, defacing property. Show signs of high anxiety, such as...tics, rocking fidgeting talking to oneself, restlessness, tapping. Lose the “big picture” or overview (and their perspective) easily. Are overwhelmed with too many details. Get stuck on individual items. Need high doses of positive reinforcement/feedback. Become satiated on rewards or reinforcers quickly (and respond best when reinforcers are changed frequently). Have good information but poor execution. Test Scores show a twenty-point discrepancy between verbal and performance scores for ADD/ADHD kids. Need and respond well to frequent prompts, countdowns, reminders, cue cards, notes, etc. Is an organizational nightmare and needs much help with schedule card in the elective program.

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WANT TO BE A GREAT COUNSELOR? This will help… (and not just with campers that have ADD/ADHD) • USE Transitions: o o

Allow 3–5-minute warning - do countdowns. Allow or build in extra time (prompt these children to start earlier).

• Keep the ADHD child closer to you. o

Close physical proximity helps make your routine consistent.

• Use the same phrases and order of events for clean-up and similar kinds of activities. • Give immediate, positive feedback. • Use multiple reinforcers. o

E.g., free time, special role in a game, going first, using something special in camp, getting first choice in activities, tokens or points which can be “traded” for different items.

• Allow “down time” for campers to decompress. o Prompt them to do so. Don’t expect they will on their own. • Use touch when talking to them or instructing them. o o o o

Hand on shoulder upper arm upper back even holding a younger child’s hand.

LITTLE EYES UPON YOU Unknown author

There are little eyes upon you, And they are watching night and day; There are little ears that quickly Take in every word you say. There are little hands all eager To do everything you do; and a little boy who's dreaming Of the day he'll be like you. You're the little fellow's idol; You're the wisest of the wise; In his little mind, about you No suspicions ever rise. He believes in you devotedly, Holds that all you say and do, He will say and do in your way When he's grown up like you. There's a wide-eyed little fellow Who believes you're always right; And his ears are always open, And he watches day and night. You are setting an example Every day in all you do; For the little boy who's waiting To grow up to be just like you.

• Ask them to repeat back to you what you said or asked for or just instructed. o Take care to do this in a way that does not humiliate them in front of other children.

• Seat children close to you in cafeteria/dining hall that may need some extra attention. • Observe which times are most stressful for the child.

o E.g., cabin clean-up, rest hour, evening, getting ready for bed and get extra help during those times.

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