Austin Monthly July/August 2023

101 FUN THINGS TO DO THIS SUMMER

101 Fun Things to Do This Summer

From swimming at hotel pools to dance-walking through the city, here are dozens of ways to take advantage of the sunny season.

72

Royal Flush

How Radiant Plumbing & Air Conditioning became national news with its oddball, low-budget advertising.

78

Austin’s Top Attorneys 2023

Tackle any legal issue with hundreds of trusted lawyers in a range of 35-plus fields.

JEFF WILSON

Discover limestone formations at Inner Space Cavern in Georgetown.

Scout 19

Five expert tips to throw a house party this summer 20

East Austin’s The Braided Life has created a hub for marginalized communities 22

Sip German beer and cool off in a salt cave in Boerne 24

Feast 27

Gut it out with these local probiotic drinks 28

Restaurant revelations inside convenience stores 30

What goes into the city’s greatest drag brunch 32

Beat 37

How NIL has rewritten the rules on collegiate athletics 38

Can Austin get transportation plans back on track? 40

An East Side startup takes computing into the quantum dimension 42

Inside a controversial new anti-woke “university” 44

by Jeff Wilson

July/August 2023 | Vol. 31 | No. 4

Editor in Chief

Chris Hughes

Creative Director

Sara Marie D’Eugenio

EDITORIAL

Executive Editor

Madeline Hollern

Associate Editor

Bryan C. Parker

Contributing Writers

Cynthia Houchin, Lauren Larson, Saba Rahimian

ART

Contributing Photographers

Jessica Attie, Jeff Wilson

Contributing Illustrators

Antoine Doré

DIGITAL

Digital Managers

Rosie Ninesling, Abigail Stewart

INTERN

Brenna Erwin, Denise Lara

ADVERTISING

Sales Director

Molly Lochridge

Senior Account Executive

Tina Mullins

Account Director

Dana Horner

Account Executives

Annemarie Gist, Julia Grisemer

Sales Operations Manager

Kiely Whelan

EVENTS

Events Director

Lauren Sposetta

CEO

Todd P. Paul

Editorial Director

Rebecca Fontenot Cord

Sales Director

Molly Lochridge

CIRCULATION

Audience Development Director

Kerri Nolan

Circulation Manager

Julie Becker

ACCOUNTING

Accounting Manager

Sabina Jukovic

CONTACT US

Mailing Address 1712 Rio Grande St., Ste. 100 Austin, TX 78701 (512) 263-9133

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Subscriptions, Renewals, and Address Changes

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Editor’s Letter

Commercial Appeal

“ARE YOU READY for this?” asked my friend Jeff, sweeping his arm across the landscape of East Sixth Street in a showman’s flourish. When I’d left Austin eight years before, the neighborhood was largely dominated by scraggly overgrown fields dotted with dive bars. Now, it was a fusillade of noise and neons. My old haunt, The Liberty, was hard to spot, seeing as how it was wedged into a sarcophagus of condos. That evening, it felt like the only thing missing from the circus-like spectacle was some calliope music. So, was I ready for this amount of change? Particularly after seeing the overwhelming degree of development coursing through downtown and South Austin earlier that day? It’s a question that remains difficult to answer.

Returning to the capital city in 2019—after a nearly decade-long sojourn to Boston—was certainly an adjustment. No town can be frozen in amber, but Austin’s figurative mosquito had seemingly burst forth and skipped six steps of evolution. Could the city’s reputed “weird” spirit still be found among all the shiny new boutiques and glass leviathans dominating the skyline? I’m sure one, if so inclined, could unearth it after brushing off a healthy coating of construction detritus. But I was able to discover it elsewhere.

Between David Yeomans’ weather reports and frequent updates on Longhorns training camp, a local company was turning tedious home repair into the bizarre and avant-garde: toilets transformed into tyrannosauruses, plumbers armed with wrenches doing battle in a segment called “Kung Poo,” and a spiel on clogged drains couched within a parody of Napoleon Dynamite. My response to the barrage of Radiant Plumbing advertising was like something akin to Kübler-Ross’ stages of grief. What began as befuddled denial and anger cycled toward something closer to begrudging admiration. Ever since, I’ve tuned into local broadcasting as much for the daily news as Radiant’s latest cinematic treatment of latrine and HVAC repair. When HBO’s John Oliver made the company a source of national fascination on Last Week Tonight in March, it seemed like due time to cover owner Brad Casebier’s singular approach to marketing. In writer Lauren Larson’s treatise on the subject, “Royal Flush” (p. 72), she delves into a piece of Austin history that’s even more entertaining and outlandish than “The Toiletnator” (as you might’ve guessed, that’s Radiant’s spin on The Terminator).

While there is still a void left by shuttered places like Vulcan Video and Lucy in Disguise south of the river, I know the capital city’s peculiar essence lives on. Sometimes, you just have to look to the airwaves.

Chris Hughes Editor in Chief chughes@austinmonthly.com @cmhughestx @chris_hughestx

Making a Splash

When the pandemic halted their plans to get married in the spring of 2020, Amanda Shaftel and Aaron Weiss had a better idea: Put those wedding funds toward a business. Inspired by the stock tanks used on ranches, the duo created a line of galvanized steel metal troughs used for backyard soaking. “Traditionally, they’ve been known as cowboy pools because cowboys would take a dip after a long day at work, and it wasn’t the most sanitary [way] to cool off,” Shaftel says. But their brand of stylish 2-foot-tall pools are outfitted with filter pumps and include professional installation and maintenance to keep them clean. Last summer, Cowboy Pools got even more ambitious with its brand of relaxation, as the company launched the insulated, corrosion-resistant Honcho model, which can also be heated up as a hot tub. While their pools have been a notable hit with millennials, Shaftel says they’ve really become popular across generations. “You sit down, the water is up to your shoulders, and it’s really just for soaking, cooling off, or heating up,” she says. “We like to say it’s all the pool you need.” The stock tanks plus installation start at $2,150. cowboypools.com

—Madeline Hollern

Party Down

Want to throw a bash, but need help getting started? One local author gives some essential tips for a great gathering.

BY MADELINE HOLLERN

NICK GRAY DOESN’T want you to have a picture-perfect soiree or fancy dinner party. In fact, the author of The 2-Hour Cocktail Party wrote his book to inspire people who have never hosted a bash before. “There’s something of a friendship recession or a loneliness epidemic happening,” he says. “I wanted to help people learn how to make more friends, connect with their neighbors, and build relationships.” From what type of food to serve to why name tags are crucial, Gray breaks down his advice for hosting a successful summer fete.

1

2

PICK THE RIGHT DATE.

While many people assume that weekends or holidays are the best bet for a bash, you’re better off selecting less socially competitive days like Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday: “You have a greater chance of getting people to say yes and a lesser chance of having people cancel or no-show,” Gray says.

CREATE THE GUESTLIST.

Even if you’re shy or new to a city, you can still throw a great soiree. Three weeks before the event, reach out to five people from your “core group” (people you know better, like close friends or coworkers) and say, “Hey, I’m thinking of hosting a happy hour on this date.” If that date works for them, then invite what he calls your “great guests:” “These are anyone who seems a little interesting that you meet,” says Gray, i.e., the neighbor you see when out walking or the person you say hi to at the gym.

3

4 5

PROVIDE NAME TAGS.

Far from their stodgy reputation, name tags help to foster a more inclusive environment. “Have you ever walked into a party, and you don’t really know anybody?” Gray says. “Name tags help new people know that it’s a safe space to go up and make new friends.” When each guest arrives, write down their first name on the tag and hand it to them.

KEEP IT CASUAL.

Never mind an Ina Garten–worthy dinner party: Stick to simple drinks and bites, like hummus, chips, and nuts: “What I found from hosting dozens of dinner parties is that they’re very stressful, and I spent too much time on the food and not enough time on the guests and the conversation,” Gray says. “I’d rather have someone leave one of my events hungry than bored.”

USE ICEBREAKERS.

At the beginning of a get-together, during what he calls “the awkward zone,” it’s important to do a lighthearted prompt for the group. One of the author’s favorites is to ask people to say their name, profession, and what they like to eat for breakfast: “That may seem silly or childish, but here’s why it works: It doesn’t cause people to lock up,” he says. “It expresses a little bit about their personality.”

To read more of Gray’s expert tips on entertaining, visit austinmonthly.com/ 2hourcocktailparty

Woven Together

Beyond just a salon, The Braided Life provides an integral gathering space for Black women and marginalized communities.

BY SABA RAHIMIAN

THE BUILDING BLOCKS for Milly Fotso’s community-centric East Austin salon, The Braided Life, were tied to memories of her Cameroonian roots—or, as she calls it, her “hairitage.” At age 5, her family relocated from the Central African country to Manhattan, Kansas, where she became acutely aware of a sense of “otherness.”

Her mom sought to become a safe harbor for her daughter, as well as help make ends meet, by braiding hair professionally out of their home. Two years later, as Fotso coped with the devastating death of her mother, her father stepped in to learn. Driving her to a braiding studio in nearby Junction City,

“For our community, it’s a luxury to be able to freely express yourself.”

which housed a larger African population, he sat in a space occupied only by women to observe. While embarrassed at the time, she now recalls the memory as a bonding moment.

The story of Black hair weaves together themes like self-expression, social status, oppression, and community identification. From her formative years through early adulthood, Fotso began to chemically relax her hair out of a desire to assimilate. Her transition back to her natural hair began beneath the wigs she wore while working in the global marketing office of L’Oreal in New York. Feeling pressured to keep her true expression under wraps, she left the corporate beauty world and relocated to Austin to work for Meta in 2018.

Upon arriving in the capital city, Fotso recognized a familiar void. There were no salon spaces for Black women, and the only stylists in the area worked from home, leading many women of color to travel to Houston or elsewhere. During the pandemic, she was forced to braid her own natural hair in isolation, sometimes spending up to eight hours working by her reflection in the mirror. To share her experience, she began posting braiding content on Instagram and slowly built up a digital community. “I realized, OK, the universe is trying to tell me something right now,” she remembers. “Up until then, my whole life had felt like a struggle.”

Months later, Fotso self-funded a photo shoot inviting local women to showcase individual, intricate styles—from fulani braids and faux locs to feed ins and corn rows. Met with resounding encouragement, she decided to open her own salon, The Braided Life, in November 2021.

Functioning both as a gathering space and beauty business, the salon focuses on the Black hair experience, zeroing in on issues such as healing scalp tenderness and traction alopecia and reviving damage from chemical relaxers. That work also serves to renegotiate memories of humiliation into resilience and confidence. The salon employs five stylists and four assistants who service around 20 to 30 clients per week. The business welcomes trans women of color and non-binary individuals and regularly hosts free events to the public to create a sense of community. “Luxury is oftentimes conflated with materialism,” Fotso says. “But for our community, it’s a luxury to be able to freely express yourself, to be able to breathe in a safe space.”

KAYLA

DAWN DAVIS

The studio specializes in intricate styles such as fulani braids, faux locs, and feed ins.

What to Do in Boerne

Chow down on smash burgers, cool off in a salt cave, and listen to a concert among underground stalagmites in this charming Hill Country locale. BY

SABA RAHIMIAN

TIME SEEMS TO move just a little bit slower in this quiet German town. Located less than two hours from Austin, Boerne (pronounced BUR-nee) sits atop a limestone plateau with caverns and springs running beneath the surface. As the small city continues to grow—the population has doubled since 2010, reaching nearly 22,000 residents—a new generation of business owners is revamping its “Hauptstrasse” (aka Main Street) with alluring restaurants, breweries, and shops.

Dine

There’s plenty to eat and drink along the Hill Country Mile. Start your day with crispy pork loin eggs Benedict or warm toffee and caramel pecan coffee cake at Dienger Trading Co. Opened this summer, the newly revived Hamby’s (1) serves classic smash burgers, chicken sandwiches, and shakes from its nostalgic ’50s-style walk-up stand. Looking for something more upscale? Head to Peggy’s on the Green , helmed by famed San Antonio chef Mark Bohanan, who opened the restaurant as a tribute to his mother’s Southern home cooking.

Co. with one of its popular Postman Pale Ales. For a more handson libation experience, sign up for an Assemble Cocktail Workshop. The 90-minute mixology session offers something for everyone—even teetotalers—with non-alcoholic spirits as well as top-shelf classics.

Stay

To relive the Southern Colonial essence of Boerne, spend the night in a Hill Country cottage or the old Church House at The Kendall, which first opened in 1859 and received a major renovation in 2020. For a more contemporary resort feel with an awardwinning golf course, poolside accommodations, and a spa featuring its own salt cave, check into Tapatio Springs Hill Country Resort (2), located only 15 minutes from Main Street.

Explore

For stick-to-your-ribs comfort, try the chickenfried quail with cornmeal Johnny cakes or deviled blue crab dip.

Sip

True to its German roots, Boerne specializes in suds. New mega brewhouse 28 Songs boasts more than two dozen taps of craft beer, while Free Roam Brewing offers seasonal Hill Country flavors like a Peach Wheat or the Stickin’ in My Eye-PA. (The latter is co-owned by World Series–winning pitcher Jeremy Affeldt, who lives in Boerne.)

Wash down a fried onion–topped goat burger at Cibolo Creek Brewing

Customize your perfect headwear at J. Forks Design , which uses hand-tooled leather, dry flowers, and even some light match burning to create its distinctive hats. Flashback Funtiques has the most eclectic collection of vintage gems in the city, from Pepsi-Cola vending machines to old-school jukeboxes. For a scenic outdoor experience, discover Cibolo Nature Center ’s trails, which are dotted with songbirds and running streams, or descend down 126 steps into Cave Without a Name, a jaw-dropping limestone cavern that stays 66 degrees yearround. (Pro tip: Buy tickets to one of its concerts to experience the booming sound of live music among the stalactites and stalagmites.)

Boerne

Matzo Man

Living in a dual-income household where both of their parents were busy at work, Geoffrey Ellis and his sister were sent up north every summer to stay with grandparents in Queens. It was during those muggy months in New York, eating at places like Katz’s Delicatessen, that Ellis began to make the connections between Jewish fare and Texas barbecue. Since his professional foray into the culinary world, the chef has been marrying those flavors at his Mum Foods concept, which has been serving area farmers markets for more than a decade. Now, at his brick-and-mortar destination in the Springdale neighborhood, he’s able to push those boundaries even further with a smoky Rachel sandwich made from buttery Emmenthal cheese and pastrami brined for 10 days. There’s even an homage to those summers past, with a tweaked version of his grandmother’s matzo ball soup that includes house-rendered schmaltz and a chicken stock that takes three days to complete. “Everything is a process here,” Ellis says. “It’s rare for a fast-casual spot, but to get the results we want, it can’t be rushed.”

Chris Hughes

JESSICA

Go with Your Gut

The sparkling water craze is fizzling out. These days, it’s all about bubbles with benefits, thanks to these Texas-

born products. BY

CHRIS HUGHES

Prebiotic, courtesy of pectin. But it can be any nondigestible food ingredient that promotes beneficial microorganisms in the gut.

A Shark Tank success story, Poppi began as a way to integrate the homeopathic qualities of apple cider vinegar (reducing bloating and cholesterol levels) into founder Allison Ellsworth’s diet, sans the pungent bite. To help couch the flavor, the entrepreneur added fruit, natural sweeteners, and bubbles—and boom, she created a national hit.

Grape, orange, cherry limeade, strawberry lemon, watermelon, classic cola, and more.

Whole Foods, Sprouts, Target, Walmart.

Probiotic, which are just live bacteria that aid in gut health.

Currently a probiotic, but soon to include both. Both, with the prebiotic fiber coming directly from the fermented fruit.

It makes sense that this local line models each of its flavors on classic cocktails, seeing as how they forge them using the same infusion techniques utilized in gin and vodka. Incorporating high-quality dried ingredients like orange peel, cloves, and sour cherry, Greenbelt then adds a jolt of jitter-free caffeine with Texas-grown yaupon tea.

Juniper & tonic, grapefruit paloma, elderberry sangria, and new fashioned.

The kefir part of the name might throw you off, as this dairy-free product simply uses the same live cultures as its yogurt-like counterpart. In fact, co-founder JohnPaxton Gremillion likens their latest line to “carbonated aguas frescas.” Less tart and vinegary than the brand’s signature kombuchas, it’s a refreshing alternative to Topo Chico.

Originating in pre-Columbian Mexico, this centuries-old drink was sacred to the Mayans. Typically made with pineapple, the iteration from this Dallas-based company incorporates all kinds of tropical fruits. Although rich in manganese, vitamin C, and calcium, tepache also makes for a great cocktail mixer with tequila and mezcal.

Calamansi lime, guava, pineapple, and raspberry. Pineapple, peach-mango, hibiscus-ginger, and strawberry-lime.

H-E-B, Thom’s Market. Whole Foods, Central Market, H-Mart, Wheatsville Co-op.

Whole Foods, Central Market, Target, Randall’s.

Poppi Prebiotic Soda

Greenbelt Yaupon Kombucha

Buddha’s Brew Sparkling Water Kefir

Holy Tepache Sparkling Tonic

Cooking with Gas

A

new must-try Malaysian spot is making a convenience store the coolest place to dine.

BY

CHRIS HUGHES

FOOD TRUCKS, POP-UPS, and even an exodus to the suburbs? Sure. But now the Austin culinary scene is seeing another response to the increasingly untenable reality of its real estate market: gas stations. As part of its ongoing creative crusade to carve out affordable space—particularly for untested chefs—restaurants are breaking through where the ubiquitous hot dog roller used to be.

One such spot is Wee’s Cozy Kitchen, located inside a Shell station in West Campus. A separate breakfast taco nook in the morning, it transforms into a trailblazing Malaysian food eatery in the evening. Helmed by Wee Fong Ehlers, the Rio Grande Street eatery initially began life with a limited menu that would largely appeal to college students, such as chicken wings and egg rolls. But late last year, Ehlers began testing the waters (or palates) of her home’s cuisine in Negeri Sembilan, with off-menu weekend specials like smoky char kway teow and seafood curry laksa.

After cooking for more than a decade in UT’s dorm system, including Jester Center and The Castilian, the chef embraced the opportunity to showcase family recipes on her own stage—just down the street from her day job. The reception has been so strong that those Malaysian rarities have now eclipsed the offerings of American guilty pleasures she first began serving. With just a couple burners and a wok, she’s able to achieve artful interpretations of the classics, including a layered, velvety beef rendang that’s simmered overnight in coconut milk, onion, garlic, lemongrass, galangal, and turmeric. Adorned with fried peanuts, dried anchovy sambal, and a generous scoop of coconut-ginger rice, it defies Wee’s unexpected surroundings next to a cigarette counter. “This is a holiday [Hari Raya] dish where I was born,” she says. “It takes a lot of time and passion, but it has to match the character of the celebration.”

FUELING AROUND

Three other restaurants offering paradise near the pump.

JNL BBQ

Picking up where la Barbecue left off, Ben and Sarah Lambert have taken over the kitchen space inside Upscale Market on East Cesar Chavez with Big Red cheesecake and a stellar BLT with house-cured bacon.

Tierra Linda Taqueria

An OG trendsetter of the convenience store cafe, this longstanding taco destination on Research Boulevard has built a cult following with fresh-made salsas and tortillas, along with generous portions of its tender carne asada.

Rose’s Kitchen Fusion Cuisine

The husband-and-wife team behind this ambitious, wide-ranging concept in the Ravens Market on Menchaca Road specializes in global fusion, but the Thai curries are where they really shine.

From left: Wee Fong Ehlers; beef rendang and seafood curry laksa.

Rise and Shine

What goes into the city’s most raucous drag brunch?

Thousands of dollars’ worth of sequins, a sharp-tongued queen named Beauty, and a hell of a lot of pink waffles.

BY CHRIS HUGHES

8 a.m.

Time to get ready

Makeup prep alone can take up to three hours, so Beauty showers, shaves, and starts the arduous process of getting into costume. Today, she’s performing in a special Selena-themed show, which requires a brown flowing wig and a spangly blue dress designed by fellow entertainer Dakota Whitney, not to mention tucking underwear, five pairs of tights, hip pads, fishnet stockings, two nude body shapers, and a bra. By 10:30, she’s turned on a box fan and cracked open a Truly blackberry-lemon seltzer to help cool down. “Drag is ugly, but it comes together in the end,” she says, applying some banana-shaded Anastasia Beverly Hills setting powder.

11 a.m.

First wave

As doors are opened, bachelorette parties and birthday girls start filing in and taking selfies in front of Taquero Mucho’s many TikTok-friendly installations. These include a a floral-covered phonebooth and neons like its “Tacos Before Vatos” sign. Owner Gabriela Bucio says she started doing drag brunches a year ago to give “local Latin queens a place to perform.” Between songs, she hops on the mic to mention that a dollar from each drink will be donated to Vivent Health, which helps fight the spread of HIV in Central Texas.

10 a.m.

Too many cooks in the kitchen

After arriving at 8 a.m., the Taquero Mucho staff begins prep work on four hours’ worth of brunch dishes, including its signature chicken with pink waffles. For that offering alone, they’ll need to dredge and fry upwards of 60 pounds of all-natural chicken breast tenders. The crew stacks up pallets of more than 350 eggs for chilaquiles. Then there are oversized tubs they’ll need to fill with cut strawberries, mango, and pineapple for today’s drink special: Smirnoff Ice preparadas garnished with sour gummies and chamoy.

Noon

Falling behind

Beauty says she’s running on “drag time”— meaning late for her emcee duties. Makeup prep took longer than expected, and she’s hurrying from her Southpark apartment to the restaurant minus gown and wig. Because she’s tired of being gawked at and harassed at stop signs, she’s wearing gym shorts and a T-shirt over her undergarments today. “With everything going on in politics, it’s gotten more stressful,” she says. “I’m a gay guy, I’m biracial, and I dress up like a woman. Heckling isn’t uncommon.”

1:20 p.m.

The show must go on

Mimosas have given way to purple margaritas and bottles of Mexican beer, as a fully attired Beauty steps in front of her rowdy audience. Diners have even abandoned the Smirnoff Ice table near the entrance to listen to the host’s introduction. Like a comedian working the room, she saunters from table to table asking where people are from and what motivated them to attend today’s show. “There are only two rules to follow,” she announces. “Don’t walk yo’ drunk ass up here while we’re trying to perform, and tips are non-negotiable.”

1:52 p.m.

First act

After Gigi Supernova and Marilyn Williams kick things off, Beauty appears in front of the heart-shaped stage as the first notes of “Dreaming of You” drift from the speakers. Wads of money appear, and even the children in the audience are stuffing bills into her bustier as she sashays past them. The emotion of the song segues seamlessly into another Selena favorite, “I Could Fall in Love.” Beauty has the crowd dancing and nodding along, with many lining up shots of tequila and Fireball for her to indulge in mid-lyric.

2:14 p.m.

Intermission

To give the other queens time for a costume change, Beauty nominates unsuspecting guests into an impromptu twerk-off. Two of the contestants are from Houston, and another drove in from Dallas the night before. One older woman named Juanita is celebrating the end of an unhealthy marriage, and she takes a stab at singing a verse from Selena’s “Amor Prohibido” in lieu of dancing. A flock of grackles has accumulated on the string lights above, swooping down for nibbles of discarded eggs and sour candy as the audience erupts into applause for Juanita.

2:45 p.m.

Final performance

Gigi Supernova is back and adorned in the iconic purple jumpsuit that the late artist wore at her final performance at the Houston Astrodome in 1995. Pumping in a recording from that live show, Supernova enacts a captivating version of “Como La Flor,” with most in the crowd singing along word for word. Servers are clearing tables and handing out water glasses, while also dodging the flotsam of one-dollar bills that have escaped the performer’s jumper. Beauty is fanning herself next to one of the bachelorette tables. With temperatures rising into the high 80s, a successful (albeit exhausting) medley of songs, and countless Fireball shots, she admits her makeup removal routine at home might be reduced to a handy catchall. “It’s the oldest drag trick in the world: Dawn dish soap,” she says. “Or I might just say screw it and pass out on my makeup pillow.”

Name Games

The NCAA is looking to regulate the Wild West of NIL deals. But after turning major universities like UT into star media brands, is it too late to tame college athletics?

BY BRYAN C. PARKER

BACK IN THE late 1990s, when Ricky Brown was playing football at the University of Texas, he remembers coach Mack Brown telling him, “You’re the CEO of Ricky Brown Inc.” That was two-and-ahalf decades before the NCAA adopted name, image, and likeness (NIL) policies that actually allow student-athletes to capitalize on their athletic prowess. But those words about being aware of your personal brand have stuck with the former Longhorn running back, who now helps students get a sense of how to manage business opportunities as executive senior associate athletics director for his alma mater. Remembering his old coach’s words of wisdom, Brown says, “I think we’re seeing another expression of the same thing in the NIL space,” he says.

Enacted in January 2021, NIL policies let athletes make publicity deals with companies but necessitate some sort of quid pro quo; in other words, you can’t just put athletes on a payroll. The simplest version of this arrangement might be a fee for appearing in an advertisement for a product—anything from a commercial for a local car dealership to a Rolex ad in a magazine. It’s clear that universities profiting lucratively off unpaid athletes wasn’t fair. But the

NCAA dragged its feet on any change for as long as possible, fearing the type of chaos now unfolding.

Currently, the NCAA is embroiled in a lawsuit with a cadre of former players who maintain that they were denied the ability to monetize their likenesses, even as the NCAA and its constituent members raked in millions off those athletes’ personas. The suit is a doorway to class action litigation that could mean an even larger swath of former athletes being compensated for remuneration that stretches years into the past. Some project that the collegiate governing body could be on the hook for billions of dollars. As commercial interest buoys the power of large universities and individual players, the NCAA’s position of power diminishes. Rather than steering the vehicle, they seem relegated to shouting directions from the back seat.

Amid all this turmoil, schools have been refashioned as de facto media brands, presenting a portfolio of potential sponsorship opportunities as one criterion that athletes can consider when choosing where to matriculate. The University of Texas is now home to quarterback Arch Manning, who holds an NIL valuation of $3.8 million, second only to

Former UT running back Bijan Robinson created his own mustard brand thanks to new NIL rules.

MONEY

TALKS

The brave new world of NIL reveals that student-athletes are hauling in some serious cash.

$917 million

Estimated value of NIL deals made in its debut in 2021.

418

Total number of NIL deals signed by UT students in the 20212022 athletic year.

$60,000

The largest single deal signed by a Longhorn athlete thus far.

17%

Percentage of student-athletes who participated in NIL deals last school year.

200+

Collective booster nonprofits advocating for student-athletes.

LeBron James’ son, Bronny, a high school USC commit whose value is estimated at $12.6 million.

Even if the new landscape recalls Brown’s mindset 25 years ago, he knows that today’s version is an entirely different ball game—one with a host of complicated demands. “I’m going to put it all under entrepreneurship: financial literacy, business formation, branding and brand management, opportunity management,” Brown says. “Many of our student-athletes start LLCs while they’re in school.” He’s aware that all of this could distract an athlete from their performance on the field, and his job is, in part, to help them make smart decisions about how to best direct their time and energy.

One of the biggest deals to come out of UT so far is a perfect model for how NIL can look when done well. Recent first-round NFL draft pick Bijan Robinson’s dijon mustard brand, Bijan Mustardson, started with a random DM from creative content guru Craig Allen. A former Longhorn, Allen was the writer behind Old Spice’s memorable “I’m on a horse” advertising spot and has worked with top talent like the NBA’s James Harden and NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon.

When he first pitched the mustard concept to Robinson, NIL deals had been fairly simplistic, but Allen had a grander vision. “This gives you an opportunity to craft a brand from scratch,” he told the star running back. Instead of a quick exchange, he was offering to make Robinson the owner of a business built around his name. When the product launched, Allen hoped to sell 5,000 bottles over time. They sold 38,000 in the first week and spent most of their first year in business out of stock, unable to keep pace with demand. Bijan Mustardson’s overnight success underscores not only the earning potential behind NIL agreements, but also how they can act as a bridge to long-term success after a career in sports.

Not every deal follows that pattern, though, and concerns have been raised that flimsy exchanges are being enacted as a pretense for blatant paychecks being cut to athletes. “Guys are not going to school where they can create the most value for their future,” Alabama football coach Nick Saban told Sports Illustrated recently. “Guys are going to school where they can make the most money.”

It took almost no time after the onset of NIL for the formation of third-party booster organizations called collectives, such as the Texas One Fund. These groups pool dollars from donors and then find NIL opportunities for students, with a focus on securing deals for as many athletes as possible to spread funding. From the NCAA’s perspective, that begins to look like “pay to play,” which the organization wants to avoid at all costs.

The emergence of collectives has prompted the NCAA to issue updated NIL guidelines in an attempt to curtail their abilities, but the effectiveness of such parameters is still uncertain. Currently, the rules around NIL vary from state to state, depending on the laws local legislatures passed prior to the program’s onset in 2021. That’s causing fears that some schools may have a distinct competitive advantage over others.

Meanwhile, the NCAA remains laser-focused on motivating the federal government to pass a law that will level the NIL playing field. Congressional subcommittees have heard testimonies from players, coaches, and administrators, indicating a possibility for future action. But until that happens, it’s a constantly shifting terrain that universities, legislative bodies, and athletes are trying to sort out. And the question remains: Can you put the metaphoric genie back in a bottle that’s already been shattered beyond all recognition?

Behind the Curve

Rail

After the city got creative with the financial structure of a 2020 bond package to fund a $7 billion rail system, the expected cost soon ballooned to more than $11 billion. As a result, voters are likely to revisit the issue in the November election. Regardless of the outcome, Project Connect’s sprawling rail plan will either be

EVEN AS IT struggles against funding setbacks, rising construction costs, and time, the capital city has an ambitious plan to get half of its citizens to commute via some method other than car. “Austin has quickly become a major city, and the infrastructure needed to support that takes time to put in place,” says Michael Trimble, deputy director of the transportation public works department. “We’ve been trying to keep pace and catch up.” Here, a snapshot of the three modes of transport, and how local officials plan to address travel woes around each.

Car

Given Austin’s reliance on car transport, it’s troubling that the city continues to see an annual uptick in traffic fatalities, even when adjusting for population growth. That includes 122 deaths in 2022, with this year on pace for another increase. The trend reflects poorly on the city’s stated Vision Zero mission to eliminate such tragedies. A recent federal grant of $22.9 million will fund more crosswalks, improved intersections, and better signalization.

scaled back, or completely gutted. Noting that high-capacity transit is an important facet of their plans, Trimble admits, “It would be unfortunate if we’re not able to move forward on those investments.” Austin’s train system has always been just around the bend, and it seems like that won’t change anytime soon.

Bicycle

Famous for its bike-friendliness, the capital city has poured millions of dollars into creating a robust network for cyclers, including more than 50 miles of protected bike lanes and 60-plus miles of urban trails. Additionally, voters approved $460 million for biking-related improvements in 2020. However, those routes

diminish greatly outside of the city center, which is a concern as citizens move further out in search of affordable housing. Acknowledging an increase in commuters in our growing metropolis, Trimble says it’s important to have “public transportation, bike, and ped access and to extend those out beyond the downtown core.”

Into the Quantum Realm

An East Austin company is helping expand the reach of a computing technology that just might solve the globe’s most pressing problems.

BY BRYAN C. PARKER

INSIDE THE MINIMALIST, white-walled offices of quantum computing company Strangeworks, founder William Hurley (who prefers the moniker Whurley) is on a Zoom call with the second international government of the day. He gesticulates as he struggles to simplify abstract concepts by rotating a golf ball that represents “some probabilistic state between zero and one.” Imagine Back to the Future’s Doc Brown raving about flux capacitors, except with a wiry salt-and-pepper beard instead of wild tufts of white hair. Calls with world leaders have become a regular part of Whurley’s gig as an unofficial spokesperson for the industry. “I’m trying to talk them off the cliff,” he says.

And what’s so terrifying about quantum computing?

Once the technology takes hold, experts say it will render much of our digital infrastructure—from personal banking passwords to troves of encrypted national security data—obsolete. These systems excel at solving problems involving optimization, running through billions of options to arrive at the best answer.

Compared to today’s traditional computers, quantum versions will be capable of handling such tasks 150 million times faster.

of the industry. The company has created a virtual network that links users to quantum machines around the world. Its online portal has access to more than 90 such computers, which constitutes nearly every machine on the planet. According to Whurley, industry leader IBM alone has about 40 units, and Strangeworks is the only portal that allows developers to access them. The industry is already valued at around $800 million. It’s expected to surpass $5 billion by 2030, and Time magazine dedicated their February 2023 cover to the topic.

It was quantum computing’s revolutionary promise that first attracted Whurley in 2016, and which still excites him today. “I wished, when I was younger, I could have been there when Jack Kilby made the integrated circuit or Bob Metcalf made the ethernet,” he says. “I saw quantum computing as future science fiction that was going to happen right now.”

Instead of everything being reduced to bits—or a binary digit that’s either a zero or one—quantum computers use a qubit (quantum bit). That difference allows for much more complex calculations by considering exponentially more possibilities instantaneously. In fact, qubits aren’t digitized; they are physical objects, usually a single electron.

“You take this electron; you either suspend it with lasers, or maybe you cool it down [so it’s stable], and then you manipulate it with microwave pulses, so you can rotate it on the W, Y, Z, or the H axis,” Whurley explains. Large quantum computers house a few hundred electrons that utilize entanglement, a mind-blowing physics phenomenon that has been used to successfully teleport matter.

While Strangeworks doesn’t house quantum computers on-site, they do have an edge over much

Because these machines use physical matter rather than simulated digital information to mirror the real world, Whurley believes they will be essential to maximizing the benefit of artificial intelligence—a controversial field of which he’s a major proponent. “People are afraid that it’s going to be like The Terminator it’s going to kill us, or it’s going to be I, Robot and we’re going to be imprisoned as pets,” he says. “Those are all very possible outcomes of a AGI [artificial general intelligence].”

But Whurley has a more optimistic take: He believes that quantum computing combined with AI could be the key to addressing a host of pressing problems facing humanity, including food scarcity, diseases, and climate change. (The latter of which is particularly important to Whurley.) He has faith that these issues have solutions, and that the technology will help discover them.

After all, this is the quantum realm. Even if there are a million versions of reality involving a technopocalypse, there are just as many scenarios that could result in our salvation.

Making the Grade

An anti-woke faction wants to start a new college in Austin. Nearly two years after its conception, is the school majoring in anything other than grandstanding?

BY BRYAN C. PARKER

Location F

“What’s in a name?” Shakespeare once mused. It seems the minds behind this upstart took a page out of the Bard’s book. With a specific city in the school’s name, it would make sense to actually be located there. While UATX has office space for its administrative headquarters in South Austin, all classes have been taught over short sessions in Dallas so far. President of communications Hillel Ofek says the school is “keeping its options open,” while still seeking land to develop a campus in Austin.

Accreditation F

Yeah, about that whole “university” thing… If you read its fine print carefully, you’ll notice that it usually refers to itself as UATX, strategically avoiding that U-word. That’s because you can’t call yourself a university in Texas unless you are one—which it isn’t. While its website says it will seek accreditation, it also implies the whole system is rigged. Ofek says UATX has submitted the necessary paperwork and is currently waiting out the process.

Course Offerings C-

To entice enrollees to attend its summer programming, UATX named the series “Forbidden Courses.” For a school that emphasizes serious inquiry, it smacks of a juvenile fixation on shock value. Moreover, there’s the fact that topics covered in these sessions— religion, sexuality, race—are discussed and written about extensively and from a variety of perspectives in universities across the globe.

IMAGINED INTO EXISTENCE in November 2021 by conservative journalist Bari Weiss, the so-called “University of Austin” was predicated on the idea that colleges are broken because they aren’t open forums for discourse. The school has now held two summer seminars and hopes to admit its first undergraduate class in fall of 2024. Founders cite a 2022 report indicating that college students self-censor out of fear of being ostracized. But critics see the school as a polarizing think tank operation engaged in a culture war. Here, a look at how the effort is measuring up thus far.

Faculty

The notable names associated with UATX might be its strongest selling point. However, famed Harvard professor Steven Pinker resigned from the advisory board almost immediately after its formation. And he’s not alone. More recently, board member (and evolutionary biologist) Heather Heying departed in December 2022 after suggesting that the school was simply too obsessed with being “anti-woke.”

Diversity D+

Although it claims to foster diversity of thought, the cast that has taught the school’s courses thus far appear to be a cadre of thinkers that each hold a particular controversial view: from University of Chicago professor Dorian Abbot’s hatred of inclusion initiatives (likening them to Nazism) to author Katie Roiphe’s insinuation that some date rapes are the victim’s fault. It begins to look less like a learning institution and more like an intellectual ponzi scheme where the buy-in is railing against “wokeism.”

Ready for the best season ever? Find out if underwater bowling is up your alley. Toss out a better kind of date night with pro-level pizzamaking classes. Or see if you have what it takes to be an action star at a local stunt ranch. Here, we present dozens of cool activities to try during the hottest months of the year.

BY MADELINE HOLLERN, CYNTHIA HOUCHIN, CHRIS HUGHES, ROSIE NINESLING, AND BRYAN C. PARKER

Chill out underground at Inner Space Cavern, which stays a refreshing 72 degrees all year long.

001 Listen to Vinyl at Equipment Room

A creative collaboration between Mohawk owner James Moody, Bunkhouse executive chairman Amar Lalvani, and the founders of Breakaway Records, Austin’s first ‘kissa’—aka Japanese-style listening room—debuted to immediate acclaim at Hotel Magdalena this March. Featuring a state-of-the-art Klipsch hi-fi system and a record collection of more than 1,200 LPs, Equipment Room is a haven for audiophiles. Book a two-hour reservation at resy.com/cities/atx/equipment-room.

002

Drop Everything and Read at Silent Book Club

Introverts, unite! Get your literary fix at the local chapter of Silent Book Club. Bring some reading material and bask in quiet camaraderie with a solid hour of silence paired with 30 minutes of light socializing. The free meetup is held one Monday night a month at various coffee shops and breweries. Check the schedule on Instagram at @sbcatx.

003

Revive a Lamp at Austin Creative Reuse Center

Want to turn trash into treasure? This Windsor Park nonprofit helps divert usable items from landfills and houses an 11,000-square-foot stockpile of donated materials perfect for your next project. For inspiration, try one of its many community workshops like origami, block printing, and fabric collage taught by local artists. austincreativereuse.org

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004-007

Crack Up at a Comedy Club

One Friday each month, this free morning lecture series connects the local creative 003

As the city’s comedy scene continues to explode, there are plenty of new spots to get a good laugh. Test your open-mic skills on various weeknights at New York City transplant The Creek and the Cave or select Tuesdays and Wednesdays at Austin staple Cap City Comedy Club. (The latter relocated to The Domain this past winter.) For those who enjoy high times, Vulcan Gas Company’s hilarious Get Ripped Comedy Show features five rotating comedians who perform both before and after getting stoned mid-show. If you’re curious about Joe Rogan’s popular (and polarizing) new venue, Comedy Mothership, score tickets well in advance to catch Tony Hinchcliffe’s live podcast recordings on Monday nights, which sell out weekly. creekandcave.com; capcitycomedy.com; vulcanatx.com; comedy mothership.com

008 Catch a Musical at

Zilker Hillside Theater

What better way to celebrate theater’s storied history of outdoor performances than with a Roald Dahl classic? On Thursdays through Sundays from July 7 to Aug. 12, pack a blanket and a misting fan for a family viewing of Matilda, and catch the precocious title character taking on the tyrannical Miss Trunchbull. The free show is open to the public, so arrive early to stake out a spot. Chair rentals are also available on-site. zilker.org

009 Get Ghosted at The Driskill

Built by a cattle baron, The Driskill opened in 1886, back when guests pulled up in horsedrawn carriages and the State Capitol was its only skyline rival. Get to know the hotel’s fascinating history during its new daily 4 p.m. tour, which discusses rumored hauntings and leads guests through spots like its newly reopened Driskill Grill. (Fun fact: The restaurant was the location of LBJ and Lady Bird’s first date in 1934.) driskillhotel.com

010 Seize the Day at CreativeMornings

community over coffee and breakfast tacos. creativemornings .com/cities/atx

011 Boggle Your Mind at the Museum of Illusions

At this whimsical new exhibition at The Domain, perception is not the same as reality. First launched in Croatia in 2015, the local iteration opened its head-spinning assortment of more than 60 illusions in March, including trippy holograms and themed exhibit rooms. Find your balance in the Vortex Tunnel or meet your doppelgänger at the Clone Table. moiaustin.com

012 Kill the Headlights at Blue Starlite

The famed retro mini drive-in theatre reels in moviegoers with beloved cult classics at its downtown rooftop and Mueller locations. bluestarliteaustin.com

013 Make Paper Flowers at Paper + Craft Pantry

Learn the likes of letterpress, paper flower making, and gouache painting with these small and

delightful in-store workshops. thepapercraftpantry.com

014 Watch Classic Films at Paramount Theatre

It’s one thing to view an iconic movie like Scarface or Rocky at home—it’s another to see it on the big screen of a stunning 108-yearold theater. Don’t miss the Paramount Summer Classic Film Series, which includes a range of memorable, rare, and avant-garde selections, with some presented on gorgeous 35mm prints. This year’s programming will feature screenings from the Hyperreal Film Club and famed director Robert Rodriguez, who will make several appearances throughout the summer. austintheatre.org

015 Hear Local Bands at The Drop-In

Enjoy an incredible view of the downtown skyline as you listen to artists such as Urban Heat, Jane Leo, and Annabelle Chairlegs every Thursday night at The Long Center through Aug. 10. Free with RSVP. thelongcenter.org

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016

Explore the New Patio at the Blanton Museum

Snap a photo on the UT campus museum’s recently renovated outdoor area, which is shaded by a dozen new towering petalshaped structures. blantonmuseum.org

017

Show Off at Get It Gals Trivia

Whether you know every random detail about Harry Styles or can quote all the dialogue from Mean Girls, dominate the competition at these lively trivia and bingo nights. Various locations, getitgals.com

018

Feel the Vibes at Blues on the Green

Pack a picnic and link up with your posse at Austin City Limits Radio’s free monthly summertime concerts in Zilker Park. Ridesharing or biking recommended. acl-radio.com/ blues-on-the-green

Look to the Stars

019

Fling a Puck at Electric Shuffle ARIES

If there is one thing that action-oriented rams love, it’s a good battle. Tap into Aries’ competitive side with this high-tech shuffleboard experience, which allows players to duke it out in a traditional game or try one of its modified contests like the Eclipse, where the puck that lands closest to the target wins. electricshuffleusa.com/austin

021 Bust a Move at Dance Walking Austin GEMINI

Often called the life of the party, these gregarious folks are always in search of more excitement. Twins can burn off some of their famous energy during these free monthly “joy parades,” which meet at central locations on Saturday afternoons before boogeying their way through the city. Look up the schedule on Instagram at @dancewalkingatx.

025

Shimmy at Melody DanceFit LIBRA

Fun-loving, extroverted Librans, this one’s for you. These social butterflies will be energized by the crowd at the classes taught by effervescent instructor Melody Afkami. Follow the steps—or don’t!—as you dance to the beats of hip hop, pop, and international music. To sign up for one of Afkami’s Studio Saturday sessions, visit melodydancefit.com.

022

Float on at Kalahari Resorts CANCER

As one of the water signs, crabs feel most at home while in a subaqueous state. Splash around at this massive indoor water park, which includes towering slides, lazy rivers, and even a 5-foot wave simulator. Family-centric Cancerians will enjoy bringing their children or nieces and nephews along with them—the park has mini slides perfect for little ones. kalahari resorts.com/texas

026 Get Spooked at Murder Walk Austin SCORPIO

As the sign of sex and death, Scorpios gravitate toward all things intense and mysterious. Indulge your macabre curiosities at Tour ATX’s Murder Walk Austin, a 105-minute walking tour that leads attendees through downtown as they learn about America’s first serial killer, who terrorized the capital city in 1885. Ages 13 and up, touratx.com/murder-walkaustin

028 Hit the Summit at Mesa Rim CAPRICORN

When it comes to hard work and perseverance, Capricorns lead the pack. Ambitious mountain goats love a good challenge, which is why they’ll thrive as they find their way to the top at Mesa Rim. The new 50,000-square-foot gym boasts 55-foot climbing walls as well as bouldering walls that reach up to 15 feet. mesarim .com/austin

023 Move Your Body at Hot Girl Walk ATX LEO

Who oozes glamour and all-eyes-on-me confidence more than our lion friends? Leos will love the chance to strut their stuff on the trail, burn some calories, and meet new friends at these free shindigs, which happen Wednesday nights at 6:30 p.m. Follow @hotgirlwalkaustin on Instagram for location and parking information.

027 Chuck an Axe at Blade & Timber SAGITTARIUS

Half-horse and half-man, the centaurs of the zodiac are known for their athleticism. Show off your skills at this axe-throwing spot, where you can hurl a blade toward a target in your own private lane. After achieving a bull’s-eye or two, enjoy a cocktail with your friends as you plot your next adventure. Closed-toed shoes are required, bladeandtimber .com

029 Get Quirky with Weird Austin City Tour AQUARIUS

Just like the capital city itself, Aquarians have a penchant for the peculiar. The most eccentric and open-minded sign will enjoy this quirky two-and-a-half-hour jaunt, which includes random trivia, scandalous secrets, and surprise stops throughout Austin. twistedtexastour.com/ tours/weird-austin-city-tour

020 Watch Austin FC TAURUS

“Eat, drink, and be merry” might as well be the Taurean tagline. Known for their love of sensory experiences, bulls will have a blast cheering on our pro soccer team at Q2 Stadium. Enjoy bites like Bao’d Up’s spicy pork brisket bao buns and T-Loc’s bacon-wrapped Sonoran hot dogs, and sip brews from Pinthouse Pizza and Austin Eastciders as you hear the roar of the crowd. austinfc.com

024 Sink a Hole-in-One at The Dirdie Birdie VIRGO

No one appreciates attention to detail more than these fastidious femmes. But even the most critical sign will be impressed by this mini golf mecca’s intricate designs, featuring obstacles inspired by local landmarks. Don’t miss Fast Lane, the elaborate ninth hole, which elevates your ball up a mini version of Circuit of The Americas’ iconic observation tower. dirdiebirdieatx.com

030 Skate Away at The Underground Roller Disco PISCES

Dreamy, sensitive fish are drawn to all things creative, especially music. Indulge in your Piscean urge to escape as you slip into a pair of skates and lose yourself to an intoxicating blend of house music and electronic beats from a live deejay. For the schedule, check facebook.com/ theundergroundatx.

031

031 Go Indoor Skydiving at iFly

Want to defy gravity? Feel the sensation of flying in a state-of-the-art vertical wind tunnel. iflyworld.com/austin

032 Sea the Attractions at Uncle Buck’s

Talk about wet ‘n’ wild! This kitschy-cool “underwater bowling” experience is totally worth the drive to Round Rock. Descend into an aquatic-inspired world filled with hand-painted ocean murals and fish hanging from the ceiling. Even the ball return tracks feature ferocious sharks and alligators with their jaws wide open. unclebucksfishbowlandgrill.com/bowling

033 Get Some Air Time at Mueller Skate Park & Pump Track

At this fan-favorite addition to Mueller’s Southeast Greenway area, visitors can skateboard and bike across 15,000 square feet of

terrain. Opened last August, the park also includes Texas’ first concrete pump track, which is filled with bumps and coves for kick flips, ollies, and other tricks. spaskate parks.com/projects/city-of-austin-muellerskatepark

034 Pump Up the Jam at Splash Dance!

Wear a swimsuit (or some spandex) for this hour-long Sunday morning water aerobics class at Austin Motel’s iconic kidney-shaped pool. Fitness instructor and body-positivity activist Erica Nix and her backup dancers will get your heart thumping with an unbeatable mix of summer jams. View upcoming class dates at austinmotel.com.

Arts Adventure

035 Slip and Slide at Lake Travis Waterloo Adventures

If you’ve ever wondered how you’d fare on the TV show Wipeout, it’s time to test out your skills at this floating water park in Leander. Strap on a life jacket and dart across more than two football fields’ worth of obstacles, including inflatable rope walls and trampolines. Trust us: You’ll laugh as hard as you’ll fall. Water shoes are recommended. waterloo adventures.com

036 Glide Across the Water at Texas Ski Ranch

At this cable park in New Braunfels, guests of all skill levels can learn how to wakeboard and waterski. texasskiranch.com

037 Catch a Foul Ball at Round Rock Express

All summer long, you can root for the local triple-A affiliate for the Texas Rangers. Select games feature fireworks after the ninth inning. milb.com/round-rock

038 Get Your Bounce on at Smash ATX

Show off your hand-eye coordination at this happening downtown ping pong hub, which offers halfprice rates on weekdays before 6 p.m. and all day on Sundays. smashatx.com

039 Make a Splash at Schlitterbahn

With dozens of slippery chutes, speed slides, lazy rivers, and even private cabanas, this classic New Braunfels water park is a draw for adults and kids alike. schlitterbahn .com/new-braunfels

040 Horse Around at Nearby Rodeos

Embrace your inner cowboy at the Kiss-N-Kick Barrel Race (July 19, Edna), Rock ‘N’ Roll Barrels (July 29, Sept. 16, Seguin and Bastrop), and Homecoming and Pro Rodeo (Aug. 1-5, Bastrop). rodeosusa.com

041 Roll Out with Your Biker Gang

Bring your ride-or-die crew to this Central Austin space, where you’ll be fitted for goggles and a helmet before hopping on your fat-tire e-bike. With names like “Hotrod” or “Racket,” a dedicated road captain will lead your squad’s two-hour cruise through the capital city. yourbikergang.com

042 Become a Movie Star at Stunt Ranch

Lights, camera, action! Jump from 20 feet onto an airbag, learn to target shoot with pistols, and run from a fiery, exploding van at this interactive ranch near Elgin. stuntranch.com

043

Channel Babe Ruth at Home Run Dugout

Pretend you’re at the plate at Fenway Park or Wrigley Field as you hit balls during this simulated batting experience inside Dell Diamond. milb .com/round-rock/ tickets/home-rundugout

044

Get a Glow Up at Paddle SMTX

Here’s a bright idea: See the San Marcos River illuminated with a rainbow of LED lights during its nighttime Crystal Kayak Glow Tour. paddlesmtx.com

045

Race Your Friends at COTA Karting

Reach speeds of up to 55 mph as you zip around 15 hair-raising turns. Closed-toed shoes required, circuitof theamericas.com/ karting

046

Float Along the Central Texas Rivers

Enjoy a leisurely day on the water as you tube down the Comal, Guadalupe, or San Marcos rivers. Don’t forget cheap sunglasses and a cooler!

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Arts Adventure

047 Knock Down the Perfect Shot at Wonderbar

Launched at Domain NORTHSIDE’s Rock Rose District in 2019, this imaginative bar has vibrant backdrops and spinning disco balls that are ideal for crafting the perfect Instagram photo or TikTok video. Select your next libation by spinning the bar’s shot wheel (reminiscent of The Price is Right), then see if you can find its tucked-away secret room. wonderbaratx.com

048 Jump into Sprinkles at the Museum of Ice Cream

Celebrate your love of frozen treats as you traverse this sugary world at The Domain. The pink-filled exhibition is home to a dozen installations including a “pool” filled with giant plastic sprinkles, a larger-thanlife snow globe, and a ride made of oversized animal crackers. And, of course, guests can enjoy plenty of ice cream along the way. museumoficecream.com/austin

Outdoors

049 Read with Rosé at Vintage Books & Wine

Level up your library at the historic Haehnel building on East 11th, where you can pair new paperbacks with Texas vinos. Featuring warm wood accents and cozy reading rooms, this combo indie bookstore/wine bar hosts author readings and signings, and it offers a monthly book-and-wine pairing subscription from BOXT that’s delivered to your doorstep. vintagebooksandwine.com

050 Shake It Up at Roosevelt Room

One Sunday a month, this downtown speakeasy-style bar and restaurant offers a popular master class series. The two-and-a-half hour sessions explore topics like Classic Cocktails (July 30), which covers the history and

evolution of drinks like the old fashioned, martinis, and fizzes. Savor three classic cocktails along with hors d’oeuvres. Cheers! $75 and up, therooseveltroomatx.com

051 Get Schooled by LeRoy & Lewis’ Pitmasters

Sure, you’ve tasted your way through the top joints in Texas’ post-oak smoked circuit, but are you ready to take your pit-perfected obsession to the next level? Enroll in Evan LeRoy’s New School BBQ University, where you can learn the trade from one of the state’s most decorated pitmasters. The three-day class takes place over a weekend and includes all meals, drinks, and bragging rights when it comes to your newly acquired barbacoa- and sausage-making skills. $2,000, leroyandlewisbbq.com

052 Throw Some Dough at Barton Springs Mill

With two Osttiroler mills from Austria, this Dripping Springs grain mill produces stonemilled flour with heirloom wheat, rye, and corn varieties grown by local farmers. Toss it up with a pizza-making class using scratch-made dough, or try bread-making tutorials like sourdough or baguettes. Each class also gets a mill tour. Ages 10 and up, bartonspringsmill.com

053 Sip Booze-Free Beverages at Sans Bar

On Friday nights from 6 p.m. to midnight, discover events like trivia nights, karaoke, and drag shows while drinking mocktails at Sans Bar’s new downtown location. thesansbar.com/austin

054 Taste Gold at Texas Hill Country Olive Co.

Walk through the fields of trees and sample oils at this certified-organic olive orchard in Dripping Springs, which offers tours and tastings Wednesday through Sunday. texashillcountryoliveco.com

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056 Chow Down at The Pitch

If you’re looking for a breezy spot to grab a bite, head to this open-air food court for tasty options like barbecue grilled cheese sandwiches from Smoke Show and Vietnamese rotisserie chicken from Ga Roti. Feeling sporty? Round up some friends for a game of sand soccer at its Sand Bar, or time your visit to catch Austin FC’s development league team, which plays at the adjacent Parmer Field. thepitchaustin.com

057 Become a Bourbon Aficionado at Treaty Oak Distilling

Because no two trees are exactly alike, each oak barrel is completely unique in the art of distilling. This Dripping Springs operation explores that phenomenon of barrel variation with an in-depth VIP bourbon tasting where whiskey masters guide guests through five

different examples of its Ghost Hill Texas Bourbon. Every person receives a custom bottle, handpicked (and numbered) from their favorite barrel, as well as a plate of barbecue from its on-site restaurant. $125 per person, treatyoak distilling.com

058-060 Take a Sweet Escape

Get your fill of juicy fruit at the Fredericksburg Peach Festival (July 1), the Parker County Peach Festival (July 8), and the Hempstead Watermelon Festival (July 14-15). thebestoftexas.org; parker countypeachfestival.org; hempstead watermelonfestival.com

061 Fetch a Drink at Yard Bar

Part dog park, part bar, this Burnet Road hot spot is an ideal place to sip cocktails alfresco and meet new two- and four-legged friends. yardbar.com

Play It Cool Along Austin’s Snow Cone Trail

A Shaved Ice Island

Explore the more epicurean side of the frosty confection with global flavors like mango lassi, Thai iced tea, and tamarindo drizzled with chamoy and Tajín chile powder. shavediceisland.com

B Woody’s Shave Ice

A favorite reprieve for those hiking the Lost Creek Trail, this trailer specializes in the more powdery, Hawaiian side of the category with options like a Pain Killer made from several different fruit syrups (orange, pineapple, etc.) and a haupia whipped cream. woodysshaveice.com

C Sisters Snoshack

The namesake siblings of this Northwest Austin truck were trained by the pros in New Orleans to bring authentic, albeit unique twists on the Louisiana snowball. For instance, a Granny Smith apple, Incredible Hulk–inspired option with purple Nerds crowning the summit. sistersnoshack.com

D Casey’s New Orleans Snowballs

For more than two decades, the Chapmans’ family-run spot on Airport Boulevard has specialized in classic Big Easy flavors like spearmint and creamy chocolate. caseyssnowballs.com

E Sno-Beach

No trip to Barton Springs would be complete without a stop at this South Austin institution. (You can even take the party to-go with one of its cooler kits that makes approximately 100 sno-balls for $80.) snobeachatx.com

Arts Adventure Outdoors FAMILY Food &

062 Engage Your Senses at Wonderspaces

With 16 interactive installations, including eight new pieces added since 2022, this family-friendly art show is a great place to take the little ones. Don’t miss “SWING” by São Paulo–based Rejane Cantoni, a new exhibit that invites visitors to walk on the modular planes of its seesaw-like surface. austin.wonderspaces.com

063 Ride an Indoor Coaster at Austin’s Park

Should your kids utter the dreaded phrase “I’m bored” this summer, this Pflugerville venue is the perfect antidote to their ennui. In addition to classic mini golf, go-karting, rock-climbing walls, and bumper boats, Austin’s Park is home to the area’s first indoor roller coaster, which features a rotating car that spins 360 degrees as it barrels downhill. austinspark.com

064 Dill with It at Dreamland

If you haven’t hopped on the pickleball bandwagon yet, this season is a good time to start. With 16 dedicated pickleball courts, this Dripping Springs locale is one of the best places to play the newly popular activity. For those who eschew paddle sports, the venue also features two stages for live music, mini golf courses, and a splash pad for kids. dreamland.us

065 Take a Swing at Spare Birdie

Get your game on at this new 23,000-squarefoot entertainment complex in Cedar Park. In addition to eight bowling lanes and six bays for Full Swing simulated sports like virtual golf and soccer, Spare Birdie has one of the only hydraulic actuating putting greens in the country, which allows users to add in slopes and slants with its adjustable topography. sparebirdie.com

066 Saddle Up at Lone Star Ranch

Horse around with riding lessons, trail rides, archery, and tomahawk throwing at this southeast ranch. lonestarranchtexas.com

067 Watch $1 Movies at EVO Cinemas

If you love a bargain, take your youngsters to EVO’s KidFlix Summer Movie Series, where

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the theater shows a new family-friendly film every week for just a buck. Screenings take place at 10 a.m. daily, and the series lasts through Aug. 17. evocinemas.com

068 Turn the Page at Austin’s Central Library

From toddler story time and teen book clubs to LEGO labs and movie nights, this downtown venue offers an array of events for kids. library .austintexas.gov/central-library

069 Test Out Experiments at Thinkery

This children’s museum in Mueller provides hands-on learning and STEAM activities. Score free admission during Community Hours on Tuesdays from 3 to 7 p.m. and Sundays from 3 to 5 p.m. thinkeryaustin.org

070 See Animals at Austin Farm Sanctuary

Say hello to Doya the pig and Rosie the cow while touring this nonprofit’s protected pastures in nearby Paige, Texas. austinfarmsanctuary.org

071 Have a Ball at Peter Pan Mini Golf

Putt around obstacles like a disco lighthouse and a giant T-Rex at this 75-year-old South Austin staple. peterpanminigolf.com

072 Geek Out at the Science Mill

Johnson City’s lauded museum illuminates science- and technology-based careers with engaging exhibits like the Deep-Sea Robotics drone demonstration and Jurassic Flight 4D virtual reality experience. sciencemill.org

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075 Go Old School at Pioneer Farms

073 See the Stars at Jester King

This farmhouse brewery doesn’t just offer tasty brews and bites: Its outpost setting also makes an ideal spot for stargazing free from the city’s ambient light. To join the Hill Country Alliance for its next evening of night sky observation, check the schedule at jesterkingbrewery.com.

074 Go Fish with JT Van Zandt

Is there anything more meditative than fly fishing at sunrise? Hit the Texas coast for an unforgettable trip with guide JT Van Zandt (yes, son of the late, great songwriter Townes Van Zandt). Primarily operating out of Rockport, these catch-and-release expeditions give anglers a chance to sight cast, or actually see the fish before throwing their fly. But as Van Zandt will tell you, the fish are secondary to this intimate experience that connects participants with the beauty of nature. $1,000 per day for one or two anglers, jtvanzandt.com

At this volunteer-run, 19th-century farm and museum in Northeast Austin, visitors can learn to do things the old-fashioned way, from blacksmithing and making jelly to playing the banjo. Take a walking tour at the 90-plus-acre property, replete with historical intrepreters in period costumes, to learn about the history of Texas from 1841 to 1899. pioneerfarms.org

076 Swan Dive into Barton Springs

Cool off at this quintessential Austin gathering spot: a spring-fed pool that ranges from 68 to 70 degrees. austintexas.gov/ department/barton-springs-pool

Arts Adventure

077 Make New Fronds at Succulent Native

Shannon Donaldson first got her start selling floral-like succulent arrangements off a pop-up cart on South Congress in 2013. Now her company, Succulent Native, boasts two locations and offers hands-on workshops on Sundays at their South Lamar spot. Hit a planting party or workshop and design your own arrangement with cholla wood, moss, and colorful rocks (drainage is key). succulentnative.com

078 Fly Out to a Purple Martin Party

Outdoors

Never mind the Mexican free-tailed bats: The true aerial acrobat of the evening is the less-heralded purple martin. A native member of the swallow family, it’s one of the only birds to roost exclusively in manmade structures. Among the most impressive places to see them swooping through the ether is Capital Plaza, where hundreds of thousands of these birds take wing every night in July and early August. Check out one of Travis Audubon’s famed Purple Martin Parties on July 16, 23, and 30 and Aug. 6. travis audubon.org

079 Spike the Ball at Moontower Channel your inner Maverick and

Iceman as you show off your volleyball skills at South Austin’s Moontower Saloon, which is home to three professional sand volleyball courts. Fridays and Saturdays feature open play and reservations for individual courts, and the venue hosts all-day tournaments on certain Saturdays. Sign up for league play via Austin Sports & Social Club at austinssc.com.

080 Glide Across the Veloway

Located in Circle C, this super smooth 3.1-mile loop dedicated to cycling and inline skating is open from dawn till dusk. Helmets required. austintexas.gov/ department/veloway

081 Work Your Calf Muscles at Mount Bonnell

At this West Austin landmark, it’s worth taking the hike up 102 steps to see a panoramic view from the highest point in the city. mount bonnell.com

082 Drift Away at the Rowing Dock

Sail into sunshine with a stand-up paddleboard on Lady Bird Lake. Have a four-legged first mate? Rent a “RUFF SUP” board, which is designed with enough space for your dog. rowingdock.com

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Look for Mermaids in Spring Lake

See what’s underwater during daily glass-bottom boat tours over this artesian spring-fed lake at The Meadows Center for Water and the Environment in San Marcos. meadows center.txst.edu

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Watch the Sun Go Down at The Oasis

Known as “the sunset capital of Texas,” this Lake Travis restaurant boasts stunning views at dusk from its west-facing patio. oasis-austin .com

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Wing It on the Congress Avenue Bridge Snag a spot on the downtown bridge and watch swirls of more than a million Mexican free-tailed bats take flight to the sky at dusk. austinbats.org

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Go Off-Leash at Red Bud Isle

This dog-friendly, 17-acre island on the Colorado River has plenty of space for Rover to sniff, swim, and explore. austinparks.org/ park/red-bud-isle

087 Search for Fairies at Zilker

Botanical Garden

There’s magic right next to Mopac, if you just know where to look. Every spring, local families and school groups sign up to design fairy houses using natural materials like bamboo stalks, moss, and hollowed-out gourds. The fantastical display can be enjoyed for most of the summer along Zilker’s winding Oak Grove trail. For those ducking the season’s infamous heat, the botanical garden also hosts live classical music on select Thursday evenings. zilkergarden.org

088 Take a Dip at Local Hotels

Let’s face it: One of the best reasons to stay at a hotel is to go swimming. Luckily, many of the top staycation spots in town now offer access to their luxurious pools. Non-guests can book a day pass at hotels including The Carpenter Hotel (pictured), The Fairmont, Hotel Van Zandt, Hotel Magdalena, and Westin Austin. To see date restrictions, visit carpenterhotel.com and resortpass.com.

089 Smell the Roses at Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center

With more than 900 species of native Texas plants, this 284-acre floral wonderland is teeming with landscaping inspiration. wildflower.org

090 Spin Around Lake Austin

Forget about raucous party pontoons: Love & Boat’s circular vessels are the perfect way to have a fun-filled yet classy afternoon on the water. Each electric boat comes with decorated dining setups (tableware included), Bluetooth speakers, and games, so you can celebrate on the lake in style. loveandboat.com

091 Swim Laps at Deep Eddy Pool

This beloved West Austin watering hole holds the title of the oldest swimming pool in Texas. austinparks.org/park/deep-eddy

092 Go Spelunking at Inner Space Cavern

Formed more than 10,000 years ago, this preserved cave in Georgetown dazzles visitors with prehistoric animal bones, hidden passages, and stunning formations at every turn. While there, brave its latest attraction, The Saber Tooth, a tandem zip ride that lifts riders 130 feet in the air before whizzing them back down at 33 mph. innerspacecavern.com

093 Cruise Along Lady Bird Lake

Come sail away with Capital Cruises, which offers bat-watching and sightseeing tours as well as lunch- and dinner-time excursions on the water. capitalcruises.com

094 Refresh Your Wardrobe at Austin Swappin’

After she started a virtual swap on Facebook in 2020, Casandra Luna’s passion for second-hand clothing grew into a monthly pop-up community event at Wanderlust Wine Collective. Score new-to-you threads as well as accessories, shoes, household items, and decor at upcoming swaps on July 29 and Aug. 26. Attendees must bring a minimum of 10 gently used items. Follow on Instagram at @austinswappin.

095 Treat Yourself at Miraval Austin Swim in infinity-edge pools, luxuriate in the steam room, and unwind with a spa treatment at this heavenly West Austin wellness resort. Day passes are $560 and up, miravalresorts.com

096 Shop for Rare Finds at Taylor Market Days School’s out for summer—or is it? Make the half-hour jaunt to Taylor, where the

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Make Fragrant Art at The Flower Social

Offering everything from two-day retreats to hourlong community workshops, this floral education business teaches attendees how to arrange bouquets, style unique botanical pieces, and create their own centerpiece using gorgeous blooms and natural materials. theflower socialaustin.com

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Build Scents at Slow North

Create your own soy wax candle with a curated blend of all-natural fragrances, which range from floral to musky to citrusy. slownorth.com

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town’s former high school has been converted into an array of offerings such as breweries, boutiques, and arcades. The site serves as the hub for two festive events a month featuring 60-plus vendors and artisans: a vintage market on the first Saturday and a maker’s market on the third Saturday. taylormarketdays.com

097 Get Crafty at Upstairs Circus

If you love to DIY, you’ll have a blast at this downtown bar, where guests can make their own jewelry, home decor, and even pet collars over cocktails. upstairs circus.com/atx

098 Get Hot (Then Cold) at Alive + Well

Here’s a surefire way to beat the summer heat: After sweating in Alive + Well’s sauna for up to 20 minutes, immerse yourself in a 45-degree cold plunge for three to five minutes. Touted benefits of contrast therapy include reduced inflammation, increased metabolism, and a boosted mood. aliveandwellaustin.com

Find Your Zen at Austin Salt Room  Breathe in the therapeutic benefits of halotherapy as you post up on a lawn chair inside a room filled with two tons of Himalayan salt. Ahhh austin saltroom.com

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By LAUREN LARSON

DORÉ

Radiant Plumbing & air conditioning’s unhinged advertising tapped into a weird Austin tradition that has propelled it from regional curiosity to national sensation.

Illustration by ANTOINE

Brad Casebier

arrives at the TV commercial shoot dressed in a directorial-casual uniform of khakis and a navy cardigan. He grasps a wrench while standing next to a water heater that has been laid on a table and tucked in, as if in convalescence. Where its anthropomorphic head is situated, someone has written “I have corrosion too :(” in black Sharpie. Two stuffed dogs have been piled on a chair at stage left, next to a director’s chair etched with the name “P. Anderson.” Casebier, the co-founder and CEO of Radiant Plumbing & Air Conditioning, is running lines with Christie Gallatin, a human resources business partner at Radiant, who stands sentry on the other side of the water heater, looking grave and downtrodden.

“Is it, ‘Everything is going to be OK’? Or ‘Everything is OK’?” she asks him. She is wearing a blue shirt and a pin-straight red wig, as she channels Julianne Moore’s character, Linda Partridge, from Paul Thomas Anderson’s 1999 film Magnolia

Although she doesn’t know that yet.

A week prior, on March 5, Last Week Tonight host John Oliver had featured Radiant’s movie-spoof commercials in a six-minute segment, which culminated in a challenge to create an ad based on a film of Oliver’s choice, sight unseen. Only Casebier, his wife and co-founder, Sarah, and a few members of their team—including marketing director Odalis Suarez and mass media production manager Jimmy Zuniga know what the selected film is. But the non-disclosure agreement they’ve signed with the Emmy Award–winning HBO show is so strict that even the commercial’s actors have been kept in the dark.

“So, he’s dying,” Casebier tells Gallatin with Spielbergian sobriety, gesturing at a water heater that has assumed the role of a dying man, originally played with aplomb by Jason Robards. “This is like your final message.”

Casebier is standing in for Radiant employee Joseph McClughan, who is perched just off-set, preparing to tackle the part of caretaker Phil Parma. Now, the Radiant founder shows him how he’d like him to gently extend an arm towards the languishing water heater, and McClughan dutifully mirrors the movement.

“Tell him I’m OK, everything is going to be OK,” Gallatin says, carefully but firmly. Then the emotion of the scene washes over her. “How DARE you judge me,” she bellows, storming off the set.

Radiant has parodied a wide range of films, from Napoleon Dynamite to The Avengers, but with its kaleidoscope of discordant storylines, this Magnolia spoof is their greatest challenge to date. In fact, once the Casebiers, Suarez, and Zuniga received the name of the film from Oliver, they took a weekend just to watch and digest it. The following Monday, they put charts up all over the walls, A Beautiful Mind–style, to help them diagram the adaptation. They quickly realized it would require shooting between 15 and 20 scenes just for a quick 60-second spot. But the stakes were high, considering Oliver has promised to donate $10,000 to Central Texas Food Bank if they were successful in their efforts.

The week that follows is a montage of toilets and water heaters in peril. It all culminates in Magnolia’s iconic finale, in which a mass of frogs begins falling from the sky. But in the burgeoning Radiant-verse, that army of amphibians has been replaced with plummeting commodes. From a platform in Radiant’s Austin warehouse, Casebier gleefully drops toilets, and watches them shatter in a satisfying spray of porcelain around one of his company’s branded trucks.

To better convey the scale of the toilet storm, the Radiant team has built a stop-motion backyard set out of construction paper and cardboard. Rudimentary trees have been hand-drawn in a compellingly avant-garde background. Zuniga films as a colleague throws miniature toilets—chunking them hard, to simulate the shock of the biblical storm—onto the crude cardboard set. “That was really good,” Zuniga exhales, after a long, tense pause.

Submitted and eventually aired on Oliver’s program on April 30, “Magtoiletolia” is the culmination of a decades-long creative journey for the Austin plumbing company. It’s an odyssey in which many toilets have been bedazzled, destroyed, and brought to life (or at least into robot-hood, as when one was painstakingly modeled after R2D2 in Radiant’s Star Wars adaptation). Last Week Tonight ’s spotlight might suggest that they are doing something new and novel, and, in a way, they are. Surely no other plumbing company has stretched its cinematic wings so wide and ambitiously. But they’re also tapping into a proud Austin tradition of schlocky, low-budget commercials that have become as much a part of the culture as live music and gentrification. Even as the city evolves into a bougie tech haven— and streaming services eclipse local television—the phenomenon persists. As a smitten John Oliver was quick to point out, it’s advertising so bizarre and endearingly cheesy that, well, it just might work.

Left: The Casebiers Opposite: Radiant has parodied films as wide ranging as The Avengers and Magnolia

they’re tapping into a proud austin tradition of schlocky, lowbudget commercials.

While every city has its respective Mount Rushmore of local business personalities who have assumed “ironic icon” status (New Orleans personal injury lawyer Morris Bart set the bar when an enamored 2-year-old named Grayson Dobra demanded a Bart-themed birthday party in 2015), Austin has a particularly rich history of local advertising. For one, lawyer Betty Blackwell, whose high-drama effort in the ’90s haunted an entire TV generation with its hand-wringing mother lamenting her prison-bound son. Then there’s the Nickel Pickle, née Scott Elder, who dressed in a gherkin costume to seduce potential Mitsubishi buyers. Another elite: Karen Richards of crystal emporium Nature’s Treasures Texas, often splashed across billboards in a cave-like amethyst (“We rock”).

This was the scene the Casebiers entered into in 1999, when they opened Radiant Plumbing & Air Conditioning. Now, the company has 250 employees and serves homes across Central Texas. If any Austinites don’t watch cable, and have thus managed to avoid the brand’s singularly idiosyncratic commercials, they’ve still likely paused to study one of the company’s trucks wrapped in action-packed scenes, such as one in which Casebier is ejecting a blast of cool air onto a dog via an AC duct. Or maybe they’ve done a double take when passing Radiant’s window displays at its North Loop area office. These have included the holiday-themed “Santa Clog” and “Toilight,” which comprised several different vampiric toilets. They might also feel compelled to “just call Radiant” after experiencing the company’s many radio spots, which are as much a celebration of corny publicity as the television commercials (take “Bradhemian Rhapsody,” in which Casebier delivers a clog-inspired rendition of the Queen classic).

This unique tradition can all be traced back to one man: Driftwood-based marketing guru, Roy Williams. Casebier became familiar with Williams’ work through his lawyer brother-in-law, who was working for “The Wizard of Ads” during the early 2000s. At the time, Radiant was still relatively new, and the Casebiers were debating the best approach to spreading the word about their homespun business. So, they decided to attend one of his two-day marketing classes to help hone their vision.

Casebier became a steady client of Williams, and a friendship quickly grew between the two. In fact, Radiant has since donated labor to many of the marketing icon’s projects, including the construction of a new building on the South Austin campus of his nonprofit business school, Wizard Academy. That relationship had another important consequence, as it helped pave the way to Radiant’s partnership with Wizard of Ads employee Jacob Harrison, who has since written and produced 70 percent of the company’s radio spots.

To this day, Williams sees Casebier as something of a protégé. The former even has a standing offer to make Casebier a partner in his company, assuming he’d ever forsake plumbing. Though Radiant no longer works with the group, Williams has nonetheless watched their advertising ethos develop with a sensei’s pride.

Most of the personality-driven ads you see around Austin are in a category that Williams calls “long purchase cycle.” Food and entertainment are sectors we engage with every day, and can thus benefit from direct-response advertising such as commercials touting sales and events. But plumbing—like legal services, jewelry purchases, and car investments—is an area that consumers engage with less frequently. Williams uses the example of an engagement, where a jeweler is typically one of the first to know about a proposal. The same is true for water heaters, which a homeowner can expect to replace once or twice in a lifetime. Because a plumbing service can’t anticipate when said replacement will be required (discounting, say, a devastating winter freeze), it behooves a company to build a sense of trust over time.

“If you win the heart, the mind will follow,” Williams says, with a lifetime advertiser’s knack for catchy aphorisms. “It’s impossible to be afraid of Brad Casebier. You get to know him on TV or on the radio, or better, in person, and you realize this guy is just trying to enjoy life. He’s definitely not trying to pick my pocket. He’s not even really trying to convince me to buy something from him.” In other words, Casebier is just a cable auteur with a gift for extreme dad humor.

Besides his mentor’s teachings, Casebier was also heavily inspired by Old Spice’s advertising, which he holds up as the pinnacle of a company daring to be outrageous. Take the male grooming company’s “The Man Your Man Could Smell Like” campaign, in which a shirtless Isaiah Amir Mustafa played on heartthrob tropes, like galloping horseback on a beach, to hawk body wash.

“These guys get it,” Casebier says. “They’re not trying to say, ‘Ours works better, it lasts an hour longer than somebody else’s.’ They’re not worried about the competition. They’re just exposing a personality, and people can be repelled by it or attracted to it. It doesn’t matter.”

Like Old Spice, Radiant’s work does have its share of haters. Typically, this comes from viewers who find the commercials irritating or unprofessional, for which they even receive occasional hate mail. But that’s OK in the eyes of Casebier, who’d rather be memorable or divisive than easily forgotten. “Everybody else’s ads are completely uninteresting,” he opines. “There’s nothing likable about it. It’s just kind of, ‘here’s the deal I’m offering.’ There’s no personality attached to it.”

The Casebiers and their creative collaborators want Radiant’s ads to be shareable. They have even nestled “Easter eggs” into many of them (look out for a picture of a bunch of flowers that Zuniga took in New York) to motivate repeat viewings.

Creating an ad on a shoestring budget—or no budget, as is more often the case—requires finesse. There is a fine line between an ad that is endearingly thrifty and one that feels cheap. “I’m kind of the

Radiant employees volunteer as actors and set designers on low-budget projects like “The Toiletnator.”

director that draws the line: We’re gonna use Crayolas and cardboard for this piece, and then this needs to be really polished and produced. That’s just some weird internal instinct I have, and it’s where it hits my funny bone,” Casebier reflects. “I don’t think it would work for a lot of professional industries, but we’re plumbers. I don’t think people expect us to be good at building ads, and I think it just exposes the humanity.”

Jimmy Zuniga, Radiant’s mass media production manager, says the way the ads are shot is meant to tap into our nostalgia. If “The Toilet Exorcist” has you recalling childhood days home sick from school, watching Betty Blackwell’s boxy shoulder pads and heavy twang, that’s intentional. Great cinema, after all, is often an ode to the filmmakers of the past.

CASEBIER CONCEDES THAT

during production of “Magtoiletolia,” he accessed a dark plane. “I took full control of this one, in a very, very possessive way,” he says. “I was realizing that, man, I’m kind of intense. I need to chill out a bit.” In general, he has tried to give the team more agency in the creation of its advertising, chiefly because he wants them to trust their own instincts.

Though low- or no-budget, Radiant’s bits have become serious business for its employees. Zuniga and Odalis Suarez once spent weeks attaching mirrored tiles to a “disco toilet” created for a window display with the accompanying text: “IT’S POTTY TIME.”

The sparkling fixture, Suarez explains, was a project they took on “just for the sake of it.” She nicked her hands several times in the bedazzling process, and they had to buy ten rounds of mirrored tiles, which employees at Radiant’s call center would often help glue on during their breaks. Although a radiant toilet indeed, Zuniga warns that it is also a bit dangerous because they didn’t have tools to properly cut the tiles to fit. It’s now displayed on a platform, away from supple tushies.

The “actors” in Radiant’s commercials are mainly employees, cast by Zuniga, all of whom have expressed interest in participating. But stardom, no matter how trivial, doesn’t come without its share of sacrifices. For example, when Zuniga approached Calvin

Marshall, an install coordinator, about playing Paul Atreides (Timothée Chalamet’s character) in “Toilet Dune,” it required some serious soul-searching when he was forced to shave. “Without the facial hair, I look much younger than I actually am,” he says. “I actually turned 30 this year, but without the facial hair, I look maybe 20... if I’m being generous.”

But like Christian Bale, who lost over 60 pounds for The Machinist, Marshall would transform himself for the sake of the craft. His beard martyrdom paid off too, with Oliver singling him out in his March segment, calling him “more of a Timothée Chalamet type than the real Timothée Chalamet.”

The nod from the late-night host was vindicating for Radiant’s employees. “Not to be boastful, but I feel like it’s a long time coming,” says Manny Garcia, a junior system administrator, who starred as a plunger-wielding Rocket Raccoon in the company’s Guardians of the Galaxy/Avengers spoof. The commercials were too good not to be noticed, he observes. “We never knew who it would be, but I think there’s always been the mentality of, ‘These are going to be picked up by somebody, someday.’”

When asked whether the recognition has changed his ambitions for Radiant’s artistic oeuvre, Casebier turns pensive. Yes, he had fun during Magtoiletolia’s two-week development, he admits. More than anything, the experience has inspired him to look beyond his day-to-day, to consider challenges he could take on in the film and entertainment industry for himself. Few at Radiant know, for example, that he is also a gifted musician. Casebier wonders what he might produce if he sets aside the mandate to sell toilets and water heaters. He has, in the parlance of the Wizard of Ads, won Austin’s hearts and minds—and even John Oliver’s. Is he primed for the creative demands of the silver screen? He might just be ready to take the plunge.

We asked Austin lawyers who they would trust to represent them; these are the most recommended legal eagles.

ADOPTION

Christine Henry Andresen

CHA Law Group 4103 Menchaca Road 512-394-4230

ANTITRUST

Mark B. Tobey Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-9740

APPELLATE

Doug Alexander Alexander Dubose & Jefferson 515 Congress Ave., Ste. 2350 512-482-9301

Meghan Alexander Gottfried Alexander Law Firm 1505 W. 6th St. 512-494-1481

Elizabeth “Heidi” G. Bloch

Greenberg Traurig

300 W. 6th St., Ste. 2050 512-320-7228

Stephanie Cagniart Baker Botts

401 S. 1st St., Ste. 1300 512-322-2537

Kendyl T. Hanks

Greenberg Traurig

300 W. 6th St., Ste. 2050 512-320-7225

Peter C. Hansen

Jackson Walker 100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1100 512-236-2319

Lisa Hobbs Kuhn Hobbs

7000 N. Mopac Expy., Ste. 315 512-476-6000

Tracia Lee Tracia Y. Lee, PLLC 512-814-6167

Shelby L. O’Brien

Enoch Kever 7600 N. Capital of Texas Hwy., Ste. B200 512-615-1225

B. Ross Pringle Wright & Greenhill 4700 Mueller Blvd., Ste. 200 512-961-4389

Todd T. Smith

Law Office of Todd T. Smith 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 400 512-982-3643

Amanda G. Taylor Butler Snow 1400 Lavaca St., Ste. 1000 737-802-1811

ARBITRATION AND MEDIATION

■ Karl Bayer 6010 Long Champ Drive, Ste. 115 512-345-8537

Greg Bourgeois Lakeside Mediation Center 3825 Lake Austin Blvd., Ste. 403 512-477-9300

Bruce Clark Clark ADR 3571 Far West Blvd., PMB 260 512-917-7294

Kathleen Coble

Coble Family Law and Mediation 1301 S. Capital of Texas Hwy., Ste. C120 512-477-4700

■ Ben J. Cunningham Lakeside Mediation Center 3825 Lake Austin Blvd., Ste. 403 512-477-9300

Todd Fine

Redbud Mediation 4200 North Hills Drive 512-666-3935

Jonathan P. Friday

Friday Milner Lambert Turner 3401 Glenview Ave. 512-472-9291

Jeff Jury

Lakeside Mediation Center 3825 Lake Austin Blvd., Ste. 403 512-477-9300

Patrick Keel

Patrick Keel, MediatorArbitrator 2814 Glenview Ave. 512-293-0300

Dean M. Kilgore Attorney-Mediator

901 S. Mopac Expy., Plaza II, Ste. 450 512-478-6120

Amy Lambert

Friday Milner Lambert Turner 3401 Glenview Ave. 512-472-9291

Thomas J. Mitchell III Wright & Greenhill 4700 Mueller Blvd., Ste. 200 512-961-4389

Bert Pluymen Pluymen Law, PLLC 219 Vailco Lane 512-415-9111

Jeff Rose

Rose Resolution Group 3701 Bee Caves Road, Ste. 103 512-637-0931

John S. Rubin

Rubin Law Firm

3901 S. Lamar Blvd., Ste. 260 512-439-2299

Derek Quick

Slack Davis Sanger 6001 Bold Ruler Way, Ste. 100 512-795-8686

■ Mike L. Slack

Slack Davis Sanger 6001 Bold Ruler Way, Ste. 100 512-795-8686

BANKING AND FINANCE

Sarah Christian Winstead

401 Congress Ave., Ste. 2100 512-370-2876

BANKRUPTCY AND WORKOUT

Lynn Hamilton Butler

Husch Blackwell

111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-9758

Brian T. Cumings

Graves Dougherty Hearon & Moody

401 Congress Ave., Ste. 2700 512-480-5626

Christy Heimer

Heimer Law Offices 6633 E. Hwy. 290, Ste. 205 512-291-7105

Dorothy Lawrence

Dorothy Butler Law Firm 151 E. Mercer St., Ste. E, Dripping Springs 512-699-5632

Eric J. Taube

Holland & Knight, LLP 100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1800 512-685-6401

Jameson J. Watts

Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-1179

Jennifer F. Wertz

Jackson Walker

■ Legacy Award: These attorneys represent the best of the best with more than 30 years of experience.

★ Rising Stars: These attorneys are stand-out up-and-comers with less than 5 years of experience.

Michael Curry MCMediate 512-474-5573

Connie Ditto

Beckstead Terry Ditto 9442 Capital of Texas Hwy., Arboretum Plaza 1, Ste. 500 512-827-3575

■ Paul J. Van Osselaer Van Osselaer Dispute Resolution 2305 Cheswick Court 512-593-5104

AVIATION

■ Mark Pierce

DC Law 5717 S. I-35 512-640-0973

100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1100 512-236-2247

BUSINESS

Meera Lea de Mel Ruffner Schoenbaum Murphy, PLLC

901 S. Mopac Expy., Ste. 290 512-275-6277

Dee Dee C. McKee

Law Office of Dee Dee C. McKee

9901 Brodie Lane, Ste. 160-1035 512-668-9733

Lori Pickle

Dwyer Murphy Calvert 1301 W. 25th St., Ste. 560 512-610-9639

David Reiter

Reiter Brunel & Dunn

6805 N. Capital of Texas Hwy., Ste. 318 512-779-3341

Lauren Schoenbaum

Ruffner Schoenbaum Murphy, PLLC

901 S. Mopac Expy., Bldg. 4, Ste. 290 512-275-6277

Jana Terry

Beckstead Terry Ditto 9442 Capital of Texas Hwy., Plaza One, Ste. 500 512-827-3575

Mitchell Zoll Zoll Firm, PLLC 5114 Balcones Woods Drive, Ste. 307-282 512-991-1096

Jennifer Settle Jackson Ruffner Schoenbaum Murphy, PLLC

901 S. Mopac Expy., Ste. 290 512-275-6277

CIVIL LITIGATION

Maria Amelia Calaf

Botkin Chiarello Calaf, PLLC 1209 Nueces St. 512-213-6094

Katherine Chiarello

Botkin Chiarello Calaf, PLLC 1209 Nueces St. 512-960-4524

John R. Davis

Slack Davis Sanger 6001 Bold Ruler Way, Ste. 100 512-795-8686

Leslie Dippel

Travis County Attorney’s Office

314 W. 11th St., Ste. 500 512-854-9513

David M. Gottfried

The Gottfried Alexander Law Firm

1505 W. 6th St. 512-494-1481

Randy Howry

Howry Breen & Herman

1900 Pearl St. 512-751-8237

Eric A. Johnston

Michael Best & Friedrich, LLP

620 Congress Ave., Ste. 200 512-320-0601

Mary-Ellen King

Thompson Coe Cousins & Irons

2801 Via Fortuna, Ste. 300 512-827-2305

Catherine E. Marsolan

Wright & Greenhill

4700 Mueller Blvd., Ste. 200 512-961-4389

Rachel McKenna

Almanza Blackburn Dickie & Mitchell

2301 S. Capital of Texas Hwy., Bldg. H 512-474-9486

Robert Ranco

DC Law

1012 W. Anderson Lane

512-640-0973

Eleanor Ruffner

Ruffner Schoenbaum Murphy, PLLC

901 S. Mopac Expy., Ste. 290 512-275-6277

Pete Rutter DC Law

1012 W. Anderson Lane 512-640-0973

Jason W. Snell

The Snell Law Firm

404 W. 13th St. 512-477-5291

Kimberly E. Solomon

Gordon Rees Scully Mansukhani

2705 Bee Caves Road, Ste. 220 512-582-6493

Asra Syed

Botkin Chiarello Calaf, PLLC 1209 Nueces St. 512-956-5630

Guilherme Vasconcelos DC Law 1012 W. Anderson Lane 512-640-0973

Kennon L. Wooten

Scott Douglass & McConnico 303 Colorado St., Ste. 2400 512-495-6341

COMMERCIAL LITIGATION

David Boyce

Wright & Greenhill

4700 Mueller Blvd., Ste. 200 512-961-4389

Kevin Brown

Holland & Knight, LLP

100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1800 512-685-6405

Heidi Coughlin

Wright & Greenhill

4700 Mueller Blvd., Ste. 200 512-961-4389

Eric Galton

Lakeside Mediation Center 3825 Lake Austin Blvd., Ste. 403 512-477-9300

Danielle Gilbert Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-9708

Lessie C. Gilstrap

Gilstrap Law Group, PC 1851 E. 51st St., Ste. 365-295 512-813-2061

Christopher R. Mugica

Jackson Walker 100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1100 512-236-2016

Tim Ribelin Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-1153

Joshua A. Romero

Jackson Walker 100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1100 512-236-2035

Cindy Saiter

Scott Douglass & McConnico

303 Colorado St., Ste. 2400 512-495-6306

Gavin R. Villareal

Baker Botts

401 S. 1st St., Ste. 1300 512-322-2652

Scott W. Weatherford

Jackson Walker

100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1100 512-236-2073

CONSTRUCTION

Will W. Allensworth Allensworth

303 Colorado St., Ste. 2800 512-708-1250

Heather Beam

Thompson Coe Cousins & Irons

2801 Via Fortuna, Ste. 300 512-703-5039

Kendall Bryant

Padfield & Stout, LLP 604 W. 12th St. 512-580-2858

Tony Ciccone Bollier Ciccone

1101 S. Capital of Texas Hwy., Bldg. G, Ste. 200 512-477-5796

Craig Courville

Wright & Greenhill

4700 Mueller Blvd., Ste. 200 512-961-4389

Amy M. Emerson Allensworth

303 Colorado St., Ste. 2800 512-708-1250

R. Carson Fisk

Andrews Myers 919 Congress Ave., Ste. 1050 512-900-3032

Karly Houchin Allensworth

303 Colorado St., Ste. 2800 512-291-3101

Megan Kateff Allensworth

303 Colorado St., Ste. 2800 512-439-4186

Jerry Negrete

The Chapman Firm 3410 Far West Blvd., Ste. 210 512-872-3840

Tyler O’Halloran

Allensworth

303 Colorado St., Ste. 2800 512-439-4184

Adam J. Richie

Munsch Hardt Kopf & Harr 1717 W. 6th St., Ste. 250 512-391-6131

Rekha Roarty

The Roarty Law Firm, PLLC 3701 Bee Caves Road, Ste. 102 512-692-6870

Michael Roberts

Jackson Walker 100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1100 512-236-2251

Amy C. Welborn

Gordon Rees Scully Mansukhani 2705 Bee Caves Road, Ste. 220 512-582-6603

CONSUMER DEBT

Nick Wooten DC Law 1012 W. Anderson Lane 512-640-0973

CORPORATE FINANCE MERGERS AND ACQUISITIONS

Brad Knippa Jackson Walker 100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1100 512-236-2284

Lee Potts

Potts Blacklock Senterfitt 4800 Bee Caves Road, Ste. 100 512-614-4105

Rachel Ratcliffe Latham & Watkins, LLP 300 Colorado St., Ste. 2400 737-910-7323

Bill Wilson

Reiter Brunel & Dunn 6805 Capital of Texas Hwy. N., Ste. 318 512-646-1104

CRIMINAL DEFENSE

Sam Bassett

Minton Bassett Flores & Carsey 1100 Guadalupe St. 512-476-4873

Michael Candelas

Law Office of Michael Candelas P.O. Box 6601 512-200-4323

Claire Carter

Claire Carter Legal 910 West Ave., Ste. 12 512-375-6257

Rick Cofer

Cofer & Connelly 602 W. 11th St. 512-200-3801

Daniel W. Dworin

Law Office of Dan Dworin 1107 Nueces St. 512-479-4009

Rick R. Flores

Minton Bassett Flores & Carsey 1100 Guadalupe St. 512-476-4873

Richard Gentry

Law Office of Richard Gentry 1107 Nueces St. 512-499-0007

David Gonzalez

Sumpter & Gonzalez

3011 N. Lamar Blvd., Ste. 200 512-381-9955

Robert Kiesling

Law Offices of RRK – Robert R. Kiesling

13785 Research Blvd., Ste. 125 512-436-2779

★ Tycha Kimbrough

Kimbrough Legal

5920 W. William Cannon Drive, Bldg. 3, Ste. 400 833-553-4251

Randy T. Leavitt

Law Office of Randy T. Leavitt 1301 Rio Grande St. 512-476-4475

Brian McConnell

The McConnell Law Firm 1114 Lost Creek Blvd., Ste. 440 512-477-7776

Perry Q. Minton

Minton Bassett Flores & Carsey 1100 Guadalupe St. 512-476-4873

Jana Ortega Ortega Law 20201 Rod & Gun Club Road, Spicewood 512-469-9900

Christopher Perri

Chris Perri Law 1304 Nueces St. 512-269-0260

Mark Pryor

Cofer & Connelly 602 W. 11th St. 512-200-3801

Brian J. Roark Botsford & Roark 1307 West Ave. 512-476-1900

Allison Tisdale

The Hull Firm 1004 West Ave. 512-599-9999

Amber Lyn Vazquez Vazquez Law Firm 608 W. 12th St. 512 220-8507

EDUCATION

Martin Cirkiel Cirkiel Law Group 1901 E. Palm Valley Blvd., Round Rock 512-244-6658

Kristi Godden O’Hanlon Demerath & Castillo 808 West Ave. 512-494-9949

Goz Odediran Odediran Law Firm 13809 Research Blvd., Ste. 500 512-886-5069

Scott Schneider Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-1145

ELDER

Lindsey Drake Drake Law 1213 W. Slaughter Lane, Ste. 100 512-524-3697

H. Clyde Farrell

Farrell & Johnson 1004 Mopac Circle, Ste. 100 512-323-2977

EMINENT DOMAIN

Luke Ellis

Marrs Ellis & Hodge 809 W. 12th St. 512-215-4078

Nicholas P. Laurent

Barron Adler Clough & Oddo 808 Nueces St. 512-478-4995

David Todd

Todd Law Firm 3800 N. Lamar Blvd., Ste. 200 512-472-7799

ENERGY, OIL AND GAS

Becky Hollis Diffen

Norton Rose Fulbright US 98 San Jacinto Blvd., Ste. 1100 512-536-4581

Tricia “TJ” Jackson

Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-370-3464

Eleanor “Cacki” Jewart Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-9718

Olga Kobzar Scott Douglass & McConnico 303 Colorado St., Ste. 2400 512-495-6354

Marianne W. Nitsch

Graves Dougherty Hearon & Moody 401 Congress Ave., Ste. 2700 512-480-5757

ENTERTAINMENT

Amy E. Mitchell 4408 Spicewood Springs Road, Ste. 423 512-505-0845

FAMILY

■ Thomas L. Ausley

Goranson Bain Ausley 3307 Northland Drive, Ste. 420 512-879-1893

Kelly Ausley-Flores

Goranson Bain Ausley 3307 Northland Drive, Ste. 420 512-879-1893

Elizabeth J. Ayala

Bollier Ciccone 1101 S. Capital of Texas Hwy., Bldg. G, Ste. 200 512-477-5796

Hannah Hembree Bell Hembree Bell Law Firm 5806 Mesa Drive, Ste. 360 512-881-0250

Leslie J. Bollier

Bollier Ciccone 1101 S. Capital of Texas Hwy., Bldg. G, Ste. 200 512-477-5796

Charles F. Bowes

Coldwell Bowes 2801 Via Fortuna, Ste. 530 512-472-2040

Michael Burnett

Burnett Turner 6034 W. Courtyard Drive, Ste. 140 512-472-5060

Lisa Bustos

Bustos Family Law 1705 S. Capital of Texas Hwy., Ste. 200 512-766-2768

■ Kristiana Butler

Goranson Bain Ausley

3307 Northland Drive, Ste. 420 512-879-1893

Kelly Caperton Fischer

Goranson Bain Ausley 3307 Northland Drive, Ste. 420 512-879-1893

Sam D. Colletti

Noelke Maples St. Leger

Bryant 2600 Via Fortuna, Terrace 1, Ste. 440 512-480-9777

Leigh de la Reza

Noelke Maples St. Leger Bryant 2600 Via Fortuna, Terrace 1, Ste. 440 512-480-9777

Patricia J. Dixon

Gray & Becker 900 West Ave. 512-482-0061

Kacy Dudley

Dudley Law 2300 Coronado St. 512-617-3975

Alyson Falk

Falk Family Law 608 W. 12th St. 512-409-2703

★ Lydia Fearing

Law Office of Becky Beaver 3500 Jefferson St., Ste. 210 512-474-5791

Robert Frazer

Goranson Bain Ausley

3307 Northland Drive, Ste. 420 512-879-1893

Jillian French

Vaught Law Firm 5929 Balcones Drive, Ste. 201 512-342-9980

Amy K. Gehm

Law Office of Amy K. Gehm

1114 Lost Creek Blvd., Ste. 310 512-327-7272

Gregory Hitt Hitt Law Firm

7000 N. Mopac Expy., Ste. 200 512-322-0118

Jodi Lazar Lazar Law

500 W. 2nd St., Ste. 1900 512-477-1600

Erin C. Leake

Vaught Law Firm 5929 Balcones Drive, Ste. 201 512-342-9980

Lisa Londergan

Thompson Salinas Londergan 8911 N. Capital of Texas Hwy., Bldg. 4, Ste. 4260 512-201-4083

Nikki Maples

Maples Jones 3101 Bee Caves Road, Ste. 260 512-617-3952

★ Clare Mattione Modern Family Law 8701 N. Mopac Expy., Ste. 105 737-234-8052

Marie McGrath Cordell Cordell 301 Congress Ave., Ste. 1800 512-271-5750

Mary Evelyn McNamara Rivers McNamara 1209 W. 5th St., Ste. 200 512-439-7000

Jami Milner Turner

Friday Milner Lambert Turner 3401 Glenview Ave. 512-472-9291

David Minton

Minton Bassett Flores & Carsey 1100 Guadalupe St. 512-476-4873

Carly Gallagher Murray

Law Office of Carly Gallagher Murray 13785 Research Blvd., Ste. 125 512-633-2204

Scott Nyitray

Burnett Turner 6034 W. Courtyard Drive, Ste. 140 512-472-5060

Cheryl Powell The Carlson Law Firm 1717 N. I-35, Ste. 305, Round Rock 512-671-7277

Andrew Robertson

Minton Bassett Flores & Carsey 1100 Guadalupe St. 512-960-3510

Angelica Rolong Cormier

Goranson Bain Ausley 3307 Northland Drive, Ste. 420 512-879-1893

D. Micah Royer III

Coldwell Bowes

1510 San Antonio St. 512-472-2040

Carlos G. Salinas

Thompson Salinas Londergan 8911 N. Capital of Texas Hwy., Bldg. 4, Ste. 4260 512-201-4083

Raul Sandoval Jr.

Sandoval Family Law

611 S. Congress Ave., Ste. 225 512-580-2449

Christian Smith

Smith Family Law 13284 Pond Springs Road, Ste. 503 512-277-3166

Susannah A. Stinson

Bollier Ciccone 1101 S. Capital of Texas Hwy., Bldg. G, Ste. 200 512-477-5796

Marshall A. Thompson

Thompson Salinas Londergan 8911 N. Capital of Texas Hwy., Bldg. 4, Ste. 4260 512-201-4083

Cristi Trusler

Trusler Legal 3701 Bee Caves Road, Ste. 104 512-481-0330

Travis L. Turner

Burnett Turner

6034 W. Courtyard Drive, Ste. 140 512-472-5060

Katie Valle

The Law Office of Jason Wright

3600 W. Parmer Lane, Ste. 100 512-884-1221

■ Jimmy A. Vaught

Vaught Law Firm

5929 Balcones Drive, Ste. 201 512-342-9980

Tim Whitten

The Law Office of Tim Whitten 7500 Rialto Blvd., Bldg. 1, Ste. 250 512-478-1011

Melissa M. Williams

Law Office of Melissa M. Williams 1114 Lost Creek Blvd., Ste. 310 512-477-5448

★ Gracie Wood Shepherd

Friday Milner Lambert Turner 3401 Glenview Ave. 512-472-9291

Jason Wright

The Law Office of Jason Wright 3600 W. Parmer Lane, Ste. 100 512-884-1221

GOVERNMENT AND ADMINISTRATIVE

Elizabeth Ross Hadley Greenberg Traurig 300 W. 6th St., Ste. 2050 512-320-7227

Deborah C. Trejo

Kemp Smith 2905 San Gabriel St., Ste. 205 512-320-5466

HEALTH CARE

Fletcher H. Brown

Holland & Knight, LLP

100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1800 512-685-6423

Ellee Cochran

Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-1136

Joseph V. Geraci Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-703-5774

Amanda Hill Hill Law 12600 Hill Country Blvd., Ste. R-275 512-826-1007

Lorinda Holloway Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-1149

Amanda Jester McDermott Will & Emery 303 Colorado St., Ste. 2200 512-726-2565

Hal Katz Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-703-5715

Jack E. Skaggs

Jackson Walker 100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1100 512-236-2343

IMMIGRATION

Iris Albizu Albizu Law 111 W. Anderson Lane, Ste. D-207 512-861-5638

Mehron P. Azarmehr Azarmehr Law Group 2720 Bee Cave Road 512-732-0555

Carolyn Gutierrez Bartelli Boulette Golden & Marin 2700 Via Fortuna, Ste. 250 512-732-8907

Cecilia Castillo Bernstein Law Office of Cecilia Castillo Bernstein 6108 Diamond Head Drive 929-277-7212

Jason Finkelman Jason Finkelman, Attorney at Law

100 Congress Ave., Ste. 2000 512-348-8855

Kalani Hawks Villafranca Hawks Villafranca Law 2028 E. Ben White Blvd., #240-3945 512-675-2945

Eliana Maruri Maruri Law Group

3901 S. Lamar Blvd., Ste. 260 512-595-0242

Paul Parsons 704 Rio Grande St. 512-477-7887

INSURANCE

■ Henry Moore Moore & Bomben 2901 Bee Cave Road 512-477-1663

Stephen Nagle

Stephen G. Nagle & Associates 4131 Spicewood Springs Road, Ste. O-3 512-480-0505

Nancy G. Scates

Thompson Coe Cousins & Irons 2801 Via Fortuna, Ste. 300 512-827-2343

★ Andrew P. Van Osselaer Haynes and Boone 600 Congress Ave., Ste. 1300 512-867-8414

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS

Lea Norkus Brigtsen Williams Simon & Landis, PLLC

601 Congress Ave., Ste. 600 512-793-9216

André Brunel Reiter Brunel & Dunn 6805 N. Capital of Texas Hwy., Ste. 318 512-646-1107

Leah Bhimani Buratti Botkin Chiarello Calaf, PLLC 1209 Nueces St. 512-566-3909

Anna Kuhn

Pirkey Barber 1801 E. 6th St., Ste. 300 512-482-5236

Emilio B. Nicolas

Jackson Walker

100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1100 512-236-2304

James R. Ray III

Munsch Hardt Kopf & Harr 1717 W. 6th St., Ste. 250 512-391-6177

LABOR AND EMPLOYMENT

Leslie Basque Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-9722

Amy Beckstead

Beckstead Terry Ditto 9442 Capital of Texas Hwy., Plaza One, Ste. 500 512-827-3575

Andrew Broadaway

Cornell Smith Mierl Brutocao

Burton 1607 West Ave. 512-328-1540

Scott Brutocao

Cornell Smith Mierl Brutocao Burton 1607 West Ave. 512-328-1540

Craig Carter

Jackson & Carter 6514 McNeil Drive, Bldg. 2, Ste. 200 512-473-2002

Sarah T. Glaser

Lloyd Gosselink Rochelle & Townsend 816 Congress Ave., Ste. 1900 512-322-5881

Austin Kaplan

Kaplan Law Firm 3901 S. Lamar Blvd., Ste. 260 512-553-9390

Kevin Koronka Husch Blackwell

111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-1162

Blair J. Leake

Wright & Greenhill

4700 Mueller Blvd., Ste. 200 512-961-4389

Nicole S. LeFave

Littler Mendelson

100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-982-7261

Natalie Lynch

Lynch Law Firm 4408 Spicewood Springs Road, Ste. 412 512-900-2630

Laura Merritt

Boulette Golden & Marin 2700 Via Fortuna, Ste. 250 512-732-8903

Tom Nesbitt Deshazo & Nesbitt 809 West Ave. 512-617-5560

Stephanie S. Rojo

Thompson Coe Cousins & Irons 2801 Via Fortuna, Ste. 300 512-703-5047

Robert W. Schmidt Crews Law Firm 701 Brazos St., Ste. 900 512-346-7077

Adam H. Sencenbaugh Haynes and Boone 600 Congress Ave., Ste. 1300 512-867-8489

Ted Smith Cornell Smith Mierl Brutocao Burton 1607 West Ave. 512-328-1540

Colin William Walsh Wiley Walsh, P.C. 1011 San Jacinto Blvd., Ste. 401 512-271-5527

Jennifer D. Ward Law Office of Jennifer D. Ward 2499 S. Capital of Texas Hwy., Ste. B203 512-344-9367

LAND USE ENVIRONMENT

Samia R. Broadaway Baker Botts

401 S. 1st St., Ste. 1300 512-322-2676

Micah J. King Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-370-3468

Natasha J. Martin

Graves Dougherty Hearon & Moody

401 Congress Ave., Ste. 2700 512-480-5639

Nikelle Meade

Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-992-6001

Paulina Williams

Baker Botts

401 S. 1st St., Ste. 1300 512-322-2543

MEDICAL MALPRACTICE DEFENSE

Tasha L. Barnes

Thompson Coe Cousins & Irons 2801 Via Fortuna, Ste. 300 512-703-5038

MEDICAL MALPRACTICE PLAINTIFF

Michelle M. Cheng

National Trial Law

1114 Lost Creek Blvd., Ste. 410 833-913-1885

■ Thomas R. Harkness

National Trial Law

1114 Lost Creek Blvd., Ste. 410 833-913-1885

Jay Harvey Winckler & Harvey 6836 Bee Cave Road, Bldg. 3, Ste. 333 512-593-7399

Laurie Higginbotham

National Trial Law 1114 Lost Creek Blvd., Ste. 410 833-913-1885

NONPROFITS

Mollie Cullinane Cullinane Law Group 1122 Colorado St., Ste. 301 512-298-2898

Albert Y. Lin

Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-703-5726

PERSONAL INJURY

Jamal K. Alsaffar

National Trial Law 1114 Lost Creek Blvd., Ste. 410 833-913-1885

Paul Batrice Batrice Law Firm 807 Las Cimas Pkwy., Ste. 150 888-901-3096

Elecia Byrd Zinda Law Group 8834 N. Capital of Texas Hwy., Ste. 304 888-671-5127

Dan Christensen DC Law 1012 W. Anderson Lane 512-640-0973

Scott Crivelli Gibbs & Crivelli 1802 Lavaca St. 800-488-7840

Veronica De Leon DC Law 1012 W. Anderson Lane 512-640-0973

Jeff Edwards Edwards Law 603 W. 17th St. 512-623-7727

Roberto Flores The Carlson Law Firm 1717 N. I-35, Ste. 305, Round Rock 512-671-7277

■ Rick Freeman 3660 Stoneridge Road, Ste. B102 512-477-6111

Kenneth “Tray” Gober III Lee Gober & Reyna 11940 Jollyville Road, Ste. 220-S 512-800-8000

Laura Ramos James Ramos James Law 2800 S. I-35 Frontage Road, Ste. 265 512-537-3369

L. Todd Kelly The Carlson Law Firm 11606 N. I-35 512-346-5688

Nathan Kennedy The Carlson Law Firm 135 W. Slaughter Lane, Ste. A 512-804-8600

Brandon Lange DC Law 1012 W. Anderson Lane 512-640-0973

Adam Loewy Loewy Law Firm 7000 N. Mopac Expy., Ste. 200 512-280-0800

Jaime M. Lynn The Carlson Law Firm 1717 N. I-35, Ste. 305, Round Rock 512-671-7277

Amber Russell LOAR

6101 W. Courtyard Drive, Ste. 1-150 512-777-3135

Bethbiriah G. Sanchez Sanchez Law

4360 S. Congress Ave., Ste. 111 512-400-2420

PRODUCT LIABILITY

■ Michael Guajardo DC Law 1012 W. Anderson Lane 512-220-1800

PROFESSIONAL MALPRACTICE NON MEDICAL DEFENSE

April Lucas McGinnis Lochridge 1111 W. 6th St., Bldg. B, Ste. 400 512-495-6156

Lauren Ross Herring & Panzer 1411 West Ave., Ste. 100 512-320-0665

REAL ESTATE

Yusuf Bajwa

Sanders Bajwa 919 Congress Ave., Ste. 1305 512-535-5220

Andrea Dicks

HMB Law (formerly Hancock McGill & Bleau) 2222 W. North Loop Blvd. 512-459-6010

Sara M. Foskitt

Foskitt Law Office, PLLC

3901 S. Lamar Blvd., Ste. 260 512-368-8070

Jason Gorman

Compere & Gorman

901 S. Mopac Expy., Bldg. 2, Ste. 150 512-270-4757

Alexandra C. Jashinsky

Husch Blackwell

111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-1182

Adam Kruger Kruger Carson 1301 W. 25th St., Ste. 560 512-410-7400

Jill G. Murphy

Ruffner Schoenbaum Murphy, PLLC

901 S. Mopac Expy., Bldg. 4, Ste. 290 512-275-6277

Julia Elizabeth Null

Clayton & Ramirez Law

4807 Spicewood Springs Road, Bldg. 3, Ste. 250 512-687-0744

Kendra Roloson

Dubois Bryant & Campbell 303 Colorado St., Ste. 2300 512-457-8000

Bob J. Werner

Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-9766

★ Taylor Wood Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-1159

TAX

Danielle Ahlrich

Reed Smith

401 Congress Ave., Ste. 1800 512-623-1777

Rudy R. Colmenero

Vacek Kiecke & Colmenero 901 S. Mopac Expy., Bldg. 3, Ste. 410 512-472-2464

Doug Jones Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-1178

Winston Krause Krause & Associates 504 W. 13th St. 512-477-6707

Steve Moore

Jackson Walker 100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1100 512-236-2074

Jameson E. Sauseda Husch Blackwell 111 Congress Ave., Ste. 1400 512-479-9724

TECHNOLOGY VIRTUAL

Kristine L. Devine HWG 512-637-4479

Jennifer M. McGrew

Wilson Sonsini Goodrich & Rosati

900 S. Capital of Texas Hwy., 5th Floor 512-338-5438

TRAFFIC

Kelly McMahan

Kelly McMahan Law 12600 Hill Country Blvd., Ste. R-275 512-843-2889

WILLS, ESTATES, AND PROBATE

Katherine C. Akinc Rigby Slack Lawrence Berger Akinc Pepper + Comerford 3500 Jefferson St., Ste. 330 512-225-6586

Leigh Vance Banaszak LVB Law 3571 Far West Blvd., Ste. 3700

Elizabeth Daniel

Elizabeth Daniel Law 1801 E. 51st St., Ste. 365-502 512-815-3549

Andrea Dicks

HMB Law (formerly Hancock McGill & Bleau)

2222 W. North Loop Blvd. 512-459-6010

Claire D. East

Thompson East 1301 S. Capital of Texas Hwy., Ste. C-120 737-301-6375

Wendi Lester Efflandt

Heritage Law 1625 Williams Drive, Bldg. 1, Ste. 101, Georgetown 512-930-0529

Emily Franco

McGinnis Lochridge 1111 W. 6th St., Bldg. B, Ste. 400 512-495-6072

Julie Frey

Griffin Frey 2905 San Gabriel St., Ste. 212 512-271-3802

Gabriel G. Gallas

Gallas Law 1403 W. 6th St. 512-981-7606

Caitlin Haney Johnston

The Haney Law Firm

808 W. 10th St., Ste. 100 512-476-2212

Brooke Hardie

Hardie Alcozer 1607 Nueces St. 512-374-4922

Julia Jonas

Karisch Jonas Law, PLLC 9111 Jollyville Road, Ste. 225 512-328-6346

Tracy Kasparek

Kasparek Law P.O. Box 161371 512-215-3407

Kelly Kocurek

Dubois Bryant & Campbell 303 Colorado St., Ste. 2300 512-457-8000

Alison Lenner

McGinnis Lochridge 1111 W. 6th St., Bldg. B, Ste. 400 512-495-6079

Eric W. Nelson

Graves Dougherty Hearon & Moody

401 Congress Ave., Ste. 2700 512-480-5641

Liz Nielsen

Nielsen Law 8705 Shoal Creek Blvd., Ste. 105 512-522-2890

Douglas J. Paul McGinnis Lochridge 1111 W. 6th St., Bldg. B, Ste. 400 512-495-6170

Neha Paymaster Eccles & McIntosh 506 W. 16th St. 512-617-1974

■ Stan M. Putman Jr. Kostura & Putman 2901 Bee Cave Road, Ste. L 512-328-9099

Michelle Rosenblatt Jackson Walker 100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1100 512-236-2321

Erin N. Tuggle Jackson Walker 100 Congress Ave., Ste. 1100 512-236-2065

Jessica Warren Jessica M. Warren Fiduciary Services 1100 West Ave. 512-469-9500

WORKER’S COMPENSATION

Chadwick Lee

The Chadwick Lee Law Firm 1000 Heritage Center Circle, Round Rock 512-419-1234

HOW THE LIST IS MADE

Using an online survey, Austin Monthly solicited peer nominations from attorneys in the Austin area, asking them to nominate up to three attorneys per practice area who they would trust with the legal care of themselves or their family. To ensure the nomination process is peer-based, full contact

information was requested before nominating and attorneys were asked to limit their nominations to lawyers whose work they’ve personally witnessed. Austin Monthly then tallied the results, selecting the top percentage of vote recipients in each practice area before submitting the final list to our fact-checking process, which includes a review of good standing with the state bar association.

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Real Estate Pros

Playing with Fire

The invention of chili powder wasn’t the only reason New Braunfels’ Phoenix Saloon became an integral part of Texas lore.

BY ROSIE NINESLING

AT FIRST GLANCE, the Phoenix Saloon appeared like any other Comal County bar in the late 1890s: dimly lit, made of stone, and home to booze, cigars, and the occasional deadly fistfight. Yet, as New Braunfels entered the 20th century, a series of groundbreaking events proved it was anything but.

Sure, beer played a role in the pub’s popularity, but William Gebhardt, proprietor of the on-site Back Room Café, drew in daily crowds with an alluring seasoning blend he invented in 1894. (Later, this concoction would be sold, branded, and transformed into what we know as chili powder.) The Phoenix Saloon was a pioneer in other ways, too, as it was reputedly the first bar in Texas to welcome women. Congregating in the beer garden, groups of ladies would ring bells dangling from the trees when in need of service, as entering the building would tarnish their “pure” reputation. Fortunately, the

courtyard wasn’t considered second-tier, offering just as much excitement as the inside, with an alligator-infested pool, badger fights, and a makeshift pen filled with deer. For those heading home, a parrot perched near the entrance would squawk the reminder: Have you paid your bill?

Then, in 1918, Prohibition changed everything. Despite the town voting 100 percent against the Volstead Act, the bar was forced to drop sales of alcoholic beverages. Rumors persist that secret tunnels allowed the site—considered the anti-Prohibition movement’s headquarters—to continue selling liquor. Regardless of that legend’s validity, the bar’s glory years were over. That is, until 2007, when new owners bought the building and restored its original title. True to its name, the Phoenix Saloon rose again—even if the reincarnation boasts fewer reptiles and reprimanding birds.

The Phoenix Saloon once boasted a cast of rowdy patrons and a menagerie of exotic animals.