Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange Fall 2011

Www.mare.org

Fall 2011

FAMILIES ACROSS MICHIGAN

Volume 1, Issue 1

Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange: Adoption Navigator Program

Child in the Spotlight .

Adoption in Michigan

Wish you were there

Adopting in Michigan from Michigan.adoption.com

How We Navigated

Adoption in Michigan can be done through a child-placing agency. The Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE) can help potential adoptive families find agencies that can facilitate an adoption.

Recently, I was hired in by the Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange as an Adoption Navigator. When most people start a new job, they begin a journey that will or can take them down a variety of different roads. For me, I’d like to think that I began my journey to this position years ago.

Children who are in foster care and are available for adoption may receive financial assistance through a subsidy to help with the adoption expenses. These children are considered special needs and some of the disabilities are emotional, physical, and mental. Children who are of minority and are being placed for adoption as a sibling group are also considered special needs.

Families who want to adopt will need to have a Family Assessment completed. This assessment is also called a home study. Included in this assessment will be: reports of interviews with the family, criminal background checks, references, personal health report, income report, and other required documentation.

the home study and have been approved to adopt can then be matched with a child. Those who choose to do a Waiting Child Adoption through Michigan's foster care system will have their Family Assessment given to the child's social worker for evaluation. If the family is a good match for the child then the social worker will recommend that the child be placed in the family's home.

Some potential adoptive parents prefer to adopt an infant or younger child. Infant adoption can be done through agencies that work with birth parents that choose to place their child for adoption. Open adoptions are very popular now and they simply mean that the birth family and the adoptive family have some level of openness.

This can include the exchange of names, pictures, letters or even ongoing visits. The level of openness depends on what the birth family and the adoptive family are comfortable with.

by Heath Boston

About four years ago, my wife and I were approached by a friend of a friend as a potential adoptive family to a teenagers unborn child. My wife was overjoyed. I, on the other hand, was guarded and worried that this wasn’t some sort of sign, but potentially something that could cause a rift in our marriage.

I was worried that it wouldn’t work out and my wife and I would be left holding on to a room full of emotional baggage.

(Continued on page 2)

In this issue:

Families who have completed “Somehow destiny comes into play. These children end up with you and you end up with them. It's something quite magical.”

Nicole Kidman Adoptive parent

Michigan Adoptions

1

How We Navigated

1

Adoption Navigators

3

NATIONAL FOSTER CARE STATISTICS Currently, there are approximately 425,000 children in foster care in the United States. It's estimated that 115,000 are eligible for adoption.

In 2009, about 57,466 children were adopted from foster care.

69% of parents who adopt from foster care are married couples, 31% are single-parent families.

Median age of child in foster care: 8.1 years.

Race/ethnicity of children in foster care: 38% Caucasian, 30% African-American, 22% Hispanic, 10% other.

The average child in foster care goes through three different placements and stays in the system for about 30 months.

Each year, about 26,000 children age out of foster care.

(Continued from page 1 Adopting in Michigan)

International adoption can also be a way to find a child who needs a home. These children must be considered orphans by the Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services (BCIS) for the adoption to be finalized.

(Continued from page 1 How we navigated)

For my wife, I dove in. I would take the young mother to hospital appointments and shopping. Soon, I began to look at her like my own daughter. Eventually, I let my guard down.

Everything came crashing to an end after our son was born. Seven weeks after we brought Angelo home, the Mom changed her mind.

We, as you could imagine, were devastated. For the first time in my life, I couldn’t provide any real comfort to my wife. As child protective services had gotten involved, they encouraged us to become foster parents.

Almost a year later, we received our first placement, two months later, we received another. Both of our boys joined our family legally on February 1, 2011. Our boys, Anali and Mekhi needed us just as much as we needed them.

Loren Sanders, MARE Adoption Navigator Supervisor

People ask my wife and I all the time, do we harbor any ill will toward Angelo’s mom. I always answer with a quick with a quick “No.” Had she not come into our lives when she did, we would never have these beautiful children. Also, Angelo’s Mom was only guilty of being young.

(Continued on page 4)

YOU ARE WHAT YOU READ

Want to know more about Foster care or Adoption?

Here are a list of recommended books to feed your interest.

BOOKS FOR PARENTS A Guidebook for Raising Foster Children, by Susan McNair Blatt, M.D. Nobody's Children: Abuse and Neglect, Foster Drift, and the Adoption Alternative, by Elizabeth Bartholet Telling The Truth To Your Adopted Or Foster Child: Making Sense Of The Past, by Betsy Keefer and Jayne E. Schooler

JARED, Age 13, C07623

Jared is a very friendly and funny child. He is bright and likes to try new things. Jared is adventurous and is outgoing. He enjoys spending time with kids around his age.

Jared is active in the national youth organization 4H and loves all animals. He enjoys the outdoors and swimming in the summer. Jared also loves to read and his favorite subjects in school are reading, spelling and math. He is easy to engage with and is willing to open up emotionally when he is comfortable and ready.

Jared is receiving treatment to help offer him guidance on developing and respecting others personal boundaries and space. He continues to overcome a difficult past. At times, he can be at a loss of words and not be able to express himself around others.

Jared is hesitant in new environments and needs time to develop trust with new peoParenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal And Grow, by ple. He can also stretch the truth and be disrespectful towards others when things don’t go his way. At school, he does well but can act out negatively towards his classGregory Keck mates on occasion. and

Regina M. Kupecky

Jared needs a family who will love him unconditionally and show him they can be trusted. The family must help teach him how to express his emotions and support him in all facets of his development. The adoptive family must also be able to help Jared learn appropriate personal boundaries with others. Jared is adventurous and active BOOKS FOR KIDS AND TEENS so it is important that the family continues to encourage his enthusiasm for those acBud, Not Buddy, by Christopher Paul tivities. The family must let Jared continue to participate in the youth organization 4H Curtis as it is an important aspect of his life. The adoptive family must also be willing to support Jared in his studies and reach out for any additional services that he may need.

Parents Wanted, by George Harrar Jared needs a family who can reassure him that he will be taken care of and proGrover G. Graham and Me, by Mary tected in the home. Jared will need to remain in contact with his sister whom he has Quattlebaum an important relationship with after adoption.

The Lost Children of Wilder: The Epic Struggle to Change Foster Care,

by Nina Bernstein

The Ocean Within, by V. M. Caldwell

To inquire about Jared, contact MARE at 800.589.6273 or visit www.mare.org

The Great Gilly Hopkins,

by Katherine Paterson

MARE recently expanded its services to include The Adoption Navigator Program. Adoption Navigators are individuals within the community who have experience within the adoption and or foster care system. These individuals are often times adoptive parents who have learned to navigate through the ups and downs of the adoption process. Additionally, the adoption navigator, through mentorship ,will help registered families understand the adoption process. For more information about our adoption navigator program please call us at 1.800.589.6273.

WE WISH YOU WERE THERE Every year, the Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange, in collaboration with local agencies and the Department of Human Services, gathers for its annual kinship festival.

The Kinship Adoption Festival is designed to increase community awareness of children in the foster care system waiting to be adopted. The festival featured workshops, children activities, food entertainment and display tables with various agencies information. This year we had a tremendous turnout and hope next year’s festival will be even bigger!

Labor of my Heart I would have given anything to be the one to know the pain of bringing you into this world but it couldn’t be.

Though I did not bring you here still I labored in my tears through the long nights I prayed you would come to me.

You are the labor of my heart Child, you are the labor of my heart with all my strength I prayed Till they laid you in my arms Child, You are the labor of my heart.

Blessed be the maker of bone of other bone.

He made flesh of my desire And today I take you home.

You are the labor of my heart Child, You are the labor of my heart

The Boston’s: Jalil, Angela, Mekhi, Anali and Heath (Continued from page 2 How we navigated )

With all my strength I prayed Till they laid you in my arms Child, You are the labor of my heart Child, You are the labor of my heart.

Author Unknown

With the help of some great people in the State of Michigan, my wife and I navigated our way through some pretty tough moments in our life together.

Knowing what we know now, we wouldn’t change a thing.

Famous People who have been adopted Profiling our wonderful families

Faith Hill

Ray Liotta

Steve Jobs

Carl & Lori, F08032

Carl and Lori are a loving couple with five children ranging in age from 22 years to nine years old.

Their three oldest kids are off at college but visit on weekends and their two youngest girls are at home. Carl is the Fire Chief for their township's volunteer firemen in addition to his full-time work with a feed and grain elevator company. Carl is described as welcoming and engaging. He enjoys cooking, decorating the house for Christmas, watching his children play in sports, and following the local boy's basketball team.

He is said to be very organized and family oriented. Lori is a stay-at-home mom and volunteers to watch family and friends' children for extra income. She is described as patient, open and funny, and she says that she loves to be with children. Lori enjoys knitting, attending her children's sporting events and piano recitals, and gardening.

As a family, they attend church at least twice a month and the children attend Faith Formation classes during the school year and Vacation Bible School for one week during the summer. The children are involved in a number of extracurricular activities, including swimming and piano lessons and high school volleyball, basketball, and track teams. They are said to be a close-knit family who enjoy spending time together around the camp fire, playing catch, going for walks, and taking family vacations. The family has experience with living with youth from other cultures; they have taken in three exchange students from different countries. The children all feel confident that the family would do a great job with any child they foster and/or adopt.

John Lennon

Nelson Mandela To Inquire about Carl and Lori, please contact MARE @ 1.800.589.6273

MARE Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange

mare.org

PO BOX 980789 Ypsilanti, MI 48197 800-589-MARE www.mare.org

MARE is a program of Judson Center and is funded by the Michigan Department of Human Services

November 22 is National Adoption Day for Michigan National Adoption Day is a collective national effort to raise awareness of the more than 107,000 children in foster care waiting to find permanent, loving families. This one day has made the dreams of thousands of children come true by working with policymakers, practitioners and advocates to finalize adoptions and find permanent, loving homes for children in foster care. In total, more than 35,000 children have been adopted from foster care on National Adoption Day. A coalition of national partners The Alliance for Children's Rights, Children's Action Network, Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute, Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, and Freddie Mac Foundation sponsor National Adoption Day to draw

special attention to foster children waiting for permanent families and to celebrate all loving families that adopt. This year the National Adoption Day Coalition expects 4,500 foster care children to be adopted on National Adoption Day on November 19, 2011. However, Michigan will celebrate November 22,2011 Goals : Finalize adoptions from foster care in all 50 states Celebrate and honor families who adopt Raise awareness about the 107,000 children in foster care waiting for adoption Encourage others to adopt children from foster care Build collaboration among local