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R E G D BANNUAL

EASON S D N 2 S ADGER B E H T T U OW ABO N K O T NEED ALL YOU

A

2011


A FEW WORDS...

FROM GAFFA & GOPHER This Badger Annual was published by: NEW LOGO

H

ello and welcome to the second Badger Annual. I hope it lives up to everyone’s new high expectations. Before we go any further we need to say a big thank you to Badger midfield legend Terry Percival, who as well as sponsoring the team for the last two seasons has also sponsored the annual, which means it remains totally free for all Badgers & Badger fans!

GUY CLUBB DESIGNS

87 Fountains Road, Ipswich, Suffolk IP2 9ES FOR USE ON WEBSITES

Tel: 925485 WEBSITE 07921 DESIGN BY Email: guy@guyclubbdesigns.com www.guyclubbdesigns.com Printed by: Suffolk Design & Print The opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the editor nor of any other organisation associated with this publication. No liability can be accepted for any inaccuracies or omissions. (If in doubt, blame Darryn, he was in charge of Teamstats this year!) © 2011 Guy Clubb Designs

This time 12 months ago we had just about finished picking up the pieces of Gregs broken trophy, and although a little gutted we hadn’t finished top 2, we were still proud of what we’d achieved in our first season. A few months later and we were back at the ISFL AGM, and thanks to a large number of teams joining from the old Licensed Trades League, we found ourselves “relocated” from RM4 to RM3. We didn’t have the best start to the campaign, but we eventually found our feet and secured a solid mid-table position. We also had the now infamous cup run, regardless of what the SCFA have to say, you all fully deserved to be there. So much happened in that cup run, and no one can take away the

REMEMBER WHE N... ...CRAIG FELL IN THE STINGERS

It was towards the end of an epic Badger-style warm-up away to Stonham Athletic when a stray pass from Leeroy looked to be heading for the ditch. Before we even had chance to start thinking about how we were going to get the ball back captain marvel Craig sprung in to action. Although his intentions were good, and he did save the ball from being lost for ever, he did make an absolute tit of himself has he landed face down in some stinging nettles. Most people would have just jumped straight up, but the pain was too much, and Craig, resembling a beached whale, decided he’d just roll around in them for good measure!

way we all felt after Backhouse scored the winning penno in the semi, by far the best moment in our short history. Who know’s next season we could do it again, without breaking the rules this time! Once again we’d just like to take this opportunity to thank every single Badger for their efforts this season. Enjoy our look back over the season... It’s been emotional, as ever!

Up the Badgers!!

AKA Beadle Arms & Horse Face


THE 2010/11

SEASON AT A GLANCE

RM3 LEAGUE TABLE 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Kitchener Tav Res The Raven Kirby Street Con Club Bucklesham D&M TSSC Sorrel Horse FC Brantham Athletic Sizewell Sports Holbrook Hornets Worlingworth Stonham Athletic The Lattice Barn

FIXTURES & RESULTS Date 12/09/2010 19/09/2010 26/09/2010 03/10/2010 10/10/2010 17/10/2010 24/10/2010 31/10/2010 07/11/2010 14/11/2010 28/11/2010 09/01/2011 16/01/2011 23/01/2011 30/01/2011 06/02/2011 13/02/2011 20/02/2011 06/03/2011 13/03/2011 20/03/2011 27/03/2011 03/04/2011 10/04/2011 17/04/2011 24/04/2011 01/05/2011 08/05/2011 11/05/2011

Opponents Rushmere & Diamonds Claydon Greyhound Selkirk FC D&M TSSC Elite 405 Kirby Street Con Club Stonham Athletic Sizewell Sports & Social Kirby Street Con Club The Lattice Barn Bucklesham Shannon Cockfield United D&M TSSC Queens Kirby Street Con Club Kitchener Taverners Res Sizewell Sports & Social Worlingworth Claydon Greyhound The Raven Claydon Greyhound Holbrook Hornets Worlingworth Stonham Athletic Holbrook Hornets The Raven Bucklesham Shannon The Lattice Barn Kitchener Taverners Res

Match Type Cup League Cup League Cup League League League Cup League League Cup League Cup League League League League Cup League League League League League League League League League League

Venue Home Home Away Away Away Home Away Away Home Away Away Away Home Home Away Home Home Away Home Away Away Home Home Home Away Home Home Home Away

Outcome W D L L W W W W W W L W W W L L W L W L L W L W W L W L L

Score 5-2 3-3 5-2 5-1 1-3 1-0 2-8 0-1 1-0 1-2 1-0 2-3 2-1 4-0 4-1 2-3 5-2 4-3 3-3 (P) 3-2 4-1 3-1 1-3 4-1 0-3 3-4 2-0 1-2 6-3

P 22 22 21 22 21 22 22 22 22 22 22 22

1

W 17 15 13 11 11 11 10 7 6 6 5 4

D 3 3 2 2 1 4 1 2 6 1 3 2

L 2 4 6 9 9 7 11 13 10 15 14 16

GD 37 41 17 1 -1 28 2 -19 -12 -32 -44 -18

PTS 54 48 41 35 34 31 * 31 23 21 * 19 18 11 *

The number of red cards shown to Badgers this season. #LeeClarkeHorrorTackle

74% 1 in 4

of games won after scoring the 1st goal. #Clinical

Ashley Bowdler was Man of the Match 7 times this season, that’s an average of once in every 4 games. #Consistent

5

Most goals scored in one half. 2nd half away to Stonham Athletic. #TheyLoveAnOwnGoal

33%

of all Badger goals scored by Jamie Carrington #BunnyRabbit

The # symbol, called a hashtag, is used to mark keywords or topics in a Tweet. It was created organically by Twitter users as a way to categorize messages.


BRANTHAM BADGERS TEAM BADGE

BRANTHAM BORSUKI

TEAM PICTURE

BRANTHAM TASSI BRANTHAM DACHSE ブランタムバッジャーズ BRANTHAM MÄGRAD BRANTHAM TEJONES BRANTHAM MOCH DAEAR

ASHLEY BOWDLER

004. JONATHAN HAMMOND

GP: 29 GS: 0 CS: 6

GP: 4 GS: 0 CS: 0

MP: 2520 AM: 87 GA: 0 MOM: 7 AR: 7.38 AA: 53

MP: 320 GA: 0 AR: 6.50

LEE CLARKE

AM: 80 MOM: 0 AA: 9

DARRYN BOWDLER

GRAHAM STIFF

GP: 27 GS: 0 CS: 6

GP: 23 GS: 2 CS: 4

MP: 2209 AM: 82 GA: 0 MOM: 0 AR: 7.15 AA: 52

MP: 1858 AM: 81 GA: 1 MOM: 1 AR: 7.17 AA: 49

GP: 21 GS: 0 CS: 4

MP: 1641 AM: 78 GA: 1 MOM: 0 AR: 7.00 AA: 49

GUY CLUBB

GP: 22 GS: 5 CS: 3

JAMES LEWIS

GP: 6 GS: 0 CS: 1

MP: 350 GA: 1 AR: 6.83

AM: 58 MOM: 0 AA: 22

RICHARD MAWDSLEY

MP: 1805 AM: 82 GA: 3 MOM: 3 AR: 7.09 AA: 45

GP: 23 GS: 0 CS: 3

MP: 1725 AM: 75 GA: 0 MOM: 1 AR: 7.09 AA: 43


KEY

GP - Games Played GS - Goals Scored CS - Clean Sheets

MP - Minutes Played GA - Goal Assists AR - Average Rating

ALAN BACKHOUSE

JUSTIN VINCE

GP: 25 GS: 2 CS: 6

GP: 20 GS: 1 CS: 4

MP: 2026 AM: 81 GA: 1 MOM: 1 AR: 7.12 AA: 51

GREG RANSON

MP: 1377 AM: 69 GA: 2 MOM: 0 AR: 7.20 AA: 43

SEAN KEARNEY

016. STEVEN GOODCHILD

GP: 27 GS: 3 CS: 6

GP: 1 GS: 0 CS: 0

MP: 2070 AM: 76 GA: 4 MOM: 1 AR: 7.26 AA: 49

019. JON REVELL

GP: 3 GS: 0 CS: 1

MP: 207 GA: 2 AR: 6.67

MP: 38 GA: 0 AR: 6.00

AM: 38 MOM: 0 AA: 6

GLEN BONES

AM: 69 MOM: 0 AA: 3

GP: 22 GS: 5 CS: 6

AM - Average number of minutes played per game MOM - Man of the Match AA: All-time Appearances

GP: 26 GS: 4 CS: 4

TERRY PERCIVAL

MP: 2110 AM: 81 GA: 2 MOM: 0 AR: 7.19 AA: 47

CRAIG CLARKE

GP: 27 GS: 14 CS: 6

MP: 2254 AM: 83 GA: 18 MOM: 2 AR: 7.30 AA: 55

PAUL HAMMOND

MP: 1602 AM: 73 GA: 5 MOM: 3 AR: 7.36 AA: 39

GP: 1 GS: 0 CS: 0

MP: 30 GA: 0 AR: 6.00

GP: 10 GS: 0 CS: 3

MP: 675 GA: 0 AR: 7.20

AM: 68 MOM: 1 AA: 17

ROSS CRACKNELL

GP: 26 GS: 11 CS: 6

MP: 1977 AM: 76 GA: 2 MOM: 2 AR: 7.23 AA: 55

JAMIE CARRINGTON

AM: 30 MOM: 0 AA: 8

GP: 24 GS: 22 CS: 5

MP: 1876 AM: 78 GA: 6 MOM: 3 AR: 7.29 AA: 44


Lee Clarke And obviously Craig has forgotten to take his suspenders off from his cabaret show the night before

THE BEST OF THE

BANTER PIT

February 17 at 10:21am

Ashley Bowdler im getting a

serious giggle on over craig, i can just see he isnt sure what to do with his hands as there isnt any food in them,

February 17 at 1:07pm · Liked by 2 people

Ashley Bowdler dont we normally have to have mascots at the end , we sat our young mascot next to the bunny rabbit February 17 at 1:08pm

Ashley Bowdler vman tugging left arm to even up ! February 17 at 1:11pm

Jamie Carrington Yeah usually the mascot likes to Sit next to star player!! Lol

February 17 at 1:18pm · Liked by 1 person

Lee Clarke I don't think I have ever seen the ball so close to Sean's feet February 17 at 1:22pm · Liked by 1 person

Guy Clubb It's nice of the star

player to look after the special needs mascot! lol

February 17 at 1:23pm

Lee Clarke Ash, now you have said it, Craig does look a bit fidgety. It had been a long time since his pre match meal! February 17 at 1:24pm

Guy Clubb Clarkeys holding an imaginary footlong sub!

February 17 at 1:24pm

C

ompared to last year, the banter pit has been a bit quiet. There was plenty of match pictures that did receieve the odd funny comment or 3, but when you look back at the last 12 months on Facebook there’s one Badger picture that stands out by a mile! There were so many comments they had to be editted down, but don’t worry, we hope we’ve left the best bits in! Spare a thought for Sean, it’ll be the first time he’s seen the picture, let alone the comments!! Original picture above, comments start here 

REMEMBER WHE N... ...BIG SHOW SCORED THAT

Guy Clubb so much banter from one picture. Oh dear bonsey!!

February 17 at 9:25am

Lee Clarke Stiffy lives up to his

name!

February 17 at 9:46am · Liked by 2 people

Guy Clubb Stumpy more like! Barry is next to Ross as well! February 17 at 9:55am

SCREAMER...

...well when we say screamer, we actually mean half a yard tap in, following a goal bound header from Stiffy. In proper goal paocher style, he celebrated like it was a worldy, and ran the length of the pitch. If only to avoid getting a clout from Mr Stiff!

Lee Clarke Looks like they are holding hands!

February 17 at 9:57am

Guy Clubb I think Ash and Greg are too!

February 17 at 10:00am

Graham Stiff That's what

happens when your stood next to 'fresh' breath Ranson!!!!

February 17 at 10:03am

Guy Clubb Jamie Carrington Bunny Rabbit!

February 17 at 10:09am

Lee Clarke It's a good pic of our

captain!

February 17 at 10:10am

Graham Stiff Your right Lee, Darren does look good doesn't he!! February 17 at 10:13am

Lee Clarke And cookies! February 17 at 1:25pm

Guy Clubb 3 for £1 February 17 at 1:26pm

Jamie CarringtonBash the rat bash the rat!!

February 17 at 1:28pm

Lee Clarke If they are 3 for a quid, might as well get 6 for £2 February 17 at 1:28pm · Liked by 1 person

Ashley Bowdler ask craig,

somebody was meant to have given him pre match cookies but not sure what price he paid.

February 17 at 1:31pm

Guy Clubb Go easy on the Rat Jai,

Guy Clubb Campest Badger award to Lee Clarke! lol

he was up all night decorating ready for those new sofas he's getting!

February 17 at 10:14am

February 17 at 1:31pm

Graham Stiff V-man looks like

Ashley Bowdler and re styling the bald rat patch

someone has just stolen his bestie!!!!!!

February 17 at 10:14am

Guy Clubb His head looks like a bestie! lol

February 17 at 10:14am

Lee Clarke Ash no neck Bowdler February 17 at 10:15am

Guy Clubb Craig Bellamys Polish cousin!

February 17 at 10:16am

Lee Clarke Backhouse is still out

of formation!

February 17 at 10:19am

Guy Clubb Is it me or is that the

fastest i've ever seen Moe move in a Badger shirt? lol

February 17 at 10:21am

February 17 at 1:32pm

Lee Clarke Rat will be late Sunday Guy, he has to go to the shop first and get some tomatoes... one of favourite excuses ever!! February 17 at 1:38pm

Ashley Bowdler lmao!! February 17 at 1:48pm

Richard 'Moe' Mawdsley Where you get that body armour from Ash?

February 17 at 2:35pm

Justin Vince Moe just looks like a generic Northerner!

February 17 at 3:12pm

Guy Clubb Dirty Northerner watching disabled porn on youtube.

February 17 at 3:13pm


Justin Vince QUOTE by the dirty

Northerner "if you hunt hard enough you can find some quality disabled porn on YouTube!"

February 17 at 3:38pm Liked by 1 person

Guy Clubb That was the night he had to sleep in the bath covered in his own sick though! lol

February 17 at 3:49pm

Justin Vince Is Stiffy hiding

Bowdskis polish polski sausage from the grasp of craigs uncertain hands?

February 17 at 4:09pm

Richard 'Moe' Mawdsley

I think you may have been slightly intoxicated when we were chewing that fat V. I'm sure some people are into it, but I'm not that kinky February 17 at 5:30pm

Richard 'Moe' Mawdsley Bash

he was embarrassed but he couldn't find a food outlet at work on Wednesday, he said he felt he was wasting away, so he shamefully turned to his phone... and ate it. He has a new one on order. February 18 at 10:21am · Liked by 1 person

Lee Clarke You may ask, "well what about his home pc"?Dial a dinner was closed Tuesday night (a hygiene problem) so he turned to that.... He ended up having a more fulfilling 3 course meal. Mouse, followed by monitor and keyboard! Don't tell him I said anything. February 18 at 10:26am

Guy Clubb I've got visions of him slumpped on the sofa, burping and picking the keyboard keys out of his teeth when he'd finished!

the rat!

February 18 at 10:29am

February 17 at 5:35pm

February 17 at 5:49pm

Lee Clarke Lol.... At work! Nothing goes to waste, the mouse wire, which obviously he can't digest he uses to floss after. Debbie ain't happy with him at the moment.

Lee Clarke And Terry our physio..... How ironic!!!

Craig Clarke c**ts

Jamie Carrington The worrying

thing is wen people see This pic, there gonna think Barry is our manager!! Shocker merrrt!

February 18 at 10:50am

Ross Cracknell bloody hell, do

Guy Clubb you're eating them too?

February 17 at 6:23pm

Lee Clarke I love the fact that Craig only pipes up when he is challenged to!

Justin Vince bashy bashy RAT

RAT! and Mo you cant hide from your disabled porn fetish and im sure you were drinking pints of gravy that night......you Northern boys looooove Gravy!

February 17 at 6:54pm

Guy Clubb Terry looks like sports direct threw up on him! February 17 at 10:06pm

Darryn Bowdler Just checked

my emails. 50+ notifications from Facebook. So just thought I'd join in with the banter. Never known Moe to say so much! February 17 at 10:15pm

Darryn Bowdler This would be so much better if The Rat were on fb! February 17 at 10:18pm

Guy Clubb He is Darryn, but he only adds people he likes! Lol

February 17 at 10:24pm

Lee Clarke Vman, I think you

should ask Barry for that managers outfit, or certainly where he got it from and where it on a Sunday, you may get some respect then! February 18 at 7:12am

Lee Clarke You will have to

shorten the arms though!

February 18 at 10:09am · Liked by 1 person

Guy Clubb Love the fact that

you're giving him so much stick Lee...I bet V would give his right beadle arm to be as tall and lanky as you. lol

February 18 at 10:15am

Guy Clubb Why hasn't Craig

commented on here yet? ...maybe he'd show more interest if Facebook was edable.

February 18 at 10:17am

Lee Clarke Guy, the problem

is he can't get on fb, he didn't want to tell anyone because

BadgerTV

A

s ever BadgerTV has followed the Badgers everywhere this season, bringing you exclusive interviews, live match action and even behind the scenes footage. Just how the advertising board has lasted this long, no one knows! There’s been everything from V-man scoring his annual goal to end of season interviews recorded in the Cameo Hotel toilets.

February 18 at 10:47am

February 17 at 6:01pm

you lot work during the day! bonsey hahahahahahahahahaha

THE BEST OF

February 18 at 10:50am

February 18 at 11:16am

Guy Clubb Lee we're gonna get reported for bullying soon!

February 18 at 11:17am

Lee Clarke Yeah, I just reported you for your height comment which was directed at me, not happy. February 18 at 12:04pm

Guy Clubb haha!! Might aswell report this one too baldy! lol

February 18 at 12:10pm

Ashley Bowdler he didnt pipe up, when he ate the computer it was logged into facebook, wholst digesting the keyboard it randomly typed 'c**ts' in his tummy. ha ha tummy. February 18 at 1:56pm

Richard 'Moe' Mawdsley banter February 18 at 2:42pm

PACKED LUNCH BOX

There’s more in the Rat’s lunch box than secondhand cheese! It was hard to miss when he did his post match interview in his pants!

Guy Clubb if it spelt that when he

was inside him, I dread to think what i'll type when it gets pooped out!

February 18 at 2:46pm

Craig Clarke I love banter February 18 at 4:53pm

Guy Clubb almost as much as you love burgers! lol

I love you Clarkey... xxxx February 18 at 4:57pm

Jamie Carrington I love rat bashing!!

February 18 at 8:48pm

Greg Ranson v man is our latest signing from the far east and bonesy looks like he has just seen stiffys erection February 19 at 8:45am

Ashley Bowdler nice to see heather recovered from carbon monoxide poisoning to play too. February 22 at 1:49pm

STAR-STRUCK NORTHERNER Moe gets so nervous interviewing awarding winning goalkeeper Ashley Bowdski, that chokes so bad that Backhouse has to bail him out.


BAD G E R S

R E Y A L P S R PLAYE T H E S E A S O N

ton - 22 goals 1. Jamie Carring - 14 goals 2. Craig Clarke ll - 11 goals 3. Ross Crackne 5 goals 4. Glen Bones goals 4. Guy Clubb - 5

OF

DLER W O B L U A ASHLEY P

GOAL SCORERS

hound (H) an p semi final...not only Dying moments of a cu ! r!! me rea absolute sc important goal, but an

Grey 1. Greg Ranson - Claydon

ven 2. Ross Cracknell - Ra

ed a man, MAMA just kill his head, st Put a gun again igger, tr y m pulled .. now he’s dead.

(A)

but , some tekkas are bad, Some tekkas are good h it was ug ho absolute fluke, alt some tekkas..... are an still a great goal!

ven 3. Graham Stiff - Ra

(H)

ud missile k, it travelled like a sc A scorcher of a free-kic pping the post on the way in. e cli towards the goal befor t Con Club (H) rmance too. al, but a great team perfo Not just a great team go

Stree 4. Guy Clubb - Kirby

PLAYER PROFILE Position: Goalkeeper Games Played: 29 Minutes Played: 2520 Goals Scored: 0 Goal Assists: 0 MOTM: 7

REMEMBER WH EN.. .

...VICTOR COULDN’T DIVE

Badgers last home game of the season, and as is now tradition we drew positions out of the hat. Moe pulled out goalkeeper for the 2nd half, and looked set to be keeping a clean sheet on his goalkeeping debut. That was until the 90th minute when a tame shot trickled into the bottom corner to make the score 1-2. When asked why he hadn’t saved the shot, Moe replied “I can’t dive to my right” #hero2zero

chen 5. Craig Clarke - Kit

ers (A)

e actually ge free-kick, and this on Clarkey loves a long-ran went in!

GOALS OF THE SEASON

sists rke - 18 as la C ig a r C . 1 6 assists 2. Jamie ists nes - 5 ass 3. Glen Bo ssists arney - 4 a 4. Sean Ke ts bb - 3 assis lu C y u G . 5

TS S I S S A L A O G


MINUTES PLAYED

1. Ashley Bowdl er - 2520 minutes 2. Craig Clarke - 2254 minutes 3. Darryn Bowdl er - 2209 minutes 4. Greg Ranson - 2110 minutes 5. Sean Kearney - 2070 minutes

o a skip and ju Greg peaks to f, hiding behind of ng pi om st before y gold!! d cab. Comed in an unlicense

nes the 2. Taxi for Bo an absolute sitter away at Stonham, s Bonsey misse r been found. ball has neve

!! aaAAAHHHH!! 3. Vuvuzelaa nt poured in his shorts whilst trying pi asn’t a V-man gets a vuzela - he w vu a h ug ro th to neck a pint happy bunny!

ears ere 4. Wedding T nal at Lee’s wedding and we were th io It all got emot e occasion. t picture of th ec rf pe e th e to captur

AVERAGE RATING

5. Stingers!!

1. Ashley Bowdle r 7.38

2. Glen Bones 7.36

3. Craig Clarke 7.30

4. Jamie Carring to

n

7.29

nson rs 1. Taxi for Ra early (again) has a row with the m mping

5. Sean Kearney 7.26

GE A T N E C R E WIN P rcival 1. Terry Pe won es

70% of gam

and come en to Stonham be d ha ig ra C e Not the first tim y rash! st na a ith w home

NTS FUNNIEST MOME

s 5 P TO L A O G R E P S E T U N MI n

to 1. Jamie Carring al

85 minutes per go

ewis 2. James L es won

2. Craig Clarke

es 3. Glen Bon es won

ll 3. Ross Crackne

rke 4. Craig Cla es won

4. Glen Bones

owdler 4. Darryn B es won

5. Guy Clubb

m

66.7% of ga

m

59.1% of ga

m

55.6% of ga

m

55.6% of ga

161 minutes per

goal

179 minutes per

goal

goal 320 minutes per goal 361 minutes per


vered matters co t c je b u s s seriou m the more o ugh! fr k a e r b d have a la n ke a a ta l a to u n e n c n A a A ch Badger ages of the p r e th o e on th

y A L P P U K LIN

er? rrect Badg o c e th h it mes w the road na k n li u o y n Ca


E C N E R E F F I SPOT THE D ot Can you sp

ences? the 5 differ

TEAMATES

ills Bowdler sp n y r r a D r Badgers sta s! his teamate n o s n a e b the

ANCER? THE BEST D ved showing off his e lo Big Show. H y moves, at the r moobs, sor r ty. a p s Christma

DANCER? T S R O W E retty poor TH ves were p ss’ mo Thought Ro . as at Christm

AIRST YLE? . H T S E B E H T aintenance m w lo y r e V Leeroy. LE? Stiffy. Y T S IR A H T THE WORS mate! it off Just shave

? SKILLFULL y skills on THE MOST k wing his sil s sho Stiff y. Love the pitch.

S MAN”? THE “L ADIE s! We all know why. riou Justin. Noto

/PANSY? F O O P T S E ower? THE BIGG ps in the sh lip flo Big Show. F

FA STEST?

ting a es when ea m a g y a w a pitch. Craig at amie on the J . s ld a n o D Mc

SLOWEST?

hen ay games w w a t a ig a r C . McDonalds

full of

ER? BEST TR AIN ears nice trainers (they sh w Training? A ine!) m used to be

BIGGEST MOANER?

Ross towards the referee, althou gh that has improved this season.

HARD MAN?

Greg ‘Snapper’ Ranson. A nickna me which was well earned.

WORST DRESS SENSE?

I sometimes wonder if Moe gets dre ssed in the dark.

JOKER?

Plenty, but Ash stands out.

LEAST INTELLIGENT?

Greg, but I’m sure that’s only on a Sun day morning. and finally....

WHOS THE LONGEST IN THE SHOW ER??

Me, no excuse for that.


R E G BAD S A XM Y T R PA

REMEMBER WHE N.. ...STIFFY CALLED . OUT THE WWE INSTEAD OF THE RAC

It was the morning after the night before, and some rather hung over Badgers were making their way home after being snowed in following the Christmas party. After driving over 500 yards with the car making a horrific noise, Stiffy pulled up outside Sean’s house to find he had a fl at tyre. No need to panic though, as Stone Cold Steve Austin, Yokozuna and the Big Show, still in their costumes from the night before were on hand to fit the spare tyre. Despite countless funny looks and a few blasts on the horn from passers by they got the job done and they were soon on their way home. No thanks to Sean, who couldn’t be bothered to answer the front door and help.


S A M T S I HR C 5 S P T O N T E M O M Y T R PA e Bolts e dead after th s 1. Hor

it run for is neck. akes a h m d n w u o o Big Sh s are flung r nt pheasa

.. , Dip it. eans then it’s t i p i D , it is m 2. Dip what th don’t leave ’t know st u on If you d for the best. J ly !! probab k unattended in your dr

Eggy... he thinks of , y g g E at y, 3. Egg ws greg exactly .wh nt ho Stiffy s t Santa prese e r c e s his

ie a-wedg thing but wrestlinlgl it k l u H 4. ld te h no You cou left wit lf. is V-man his bottom ha n o boots ld! lol was co

n -tastic t Shaggy impressio t a R r 5. M ry bes s his ve . oe Sean d roke machine a K on the


2011-12 THROUGH THE EYES OF

THE FAT CONTOLLER N

ot many Sunday morning teams can boast their own press officer, but the Badgers aren’t just any old Sunday morning team! When Barrys not in the changing room trying to get a glimpse of Ross naked, he’s usually writting up our match reports ready for the paper the following week. Although we often wonder if he’s even been watching the same game as us, we all love it when he makes a simple tap in sound like a 30 yard screamer! I’m sure everyone will join me in thanking Barry for his efforts over the last two seasons, we’ll definately miss him next year. Fingers crossed our new secretary Danny Allen a.k.a Barry Junior or just BJ for short, can live up to expectations. Here’s a few snippets from this season match reports.

REMEMB ER W HEN ...SEAN GOT .

..

HIS NEW WALLET

The Badger Christmas party was in full swing, and following a brief romantic dance with Big Show, Sean sat on Hulk Hogans knee before being presented with his secret Santa present. “What have you got Sean?” we all asked, “A new wallet” he replied, “I’m Chuffed with that because I actually need a new one”... it was only after secret Santa had finished that Titch had to explain his new wallet was actually glued shut, funnily enough every wallet he’s ever had has had the same problem! lol

BRANTHAM B ADGERS 3 CLAYDON GR EYHOUND 3 ...”Badge

rs had play ed well but had to sett Terry Perc le for a poi ival, despit nt. e carrying an injury, p got involved layed well in everythin and g that was going on.Pau came on to l Hammond lead the lin e and again had a dece and once or nt match twice did ca use the Gre yhound cust problem. M an of the m odian a atch had to be Guy “B who had a to ig-show” Clu p class gam bb e at the b ack. One su make the p pporter did oint that in the second half when B go on the at adgers did tack it soun ded like “a herd of wild running on ebeest the Sereng eti plain”, I donb’t kn a complime ow if that wa nt or not!!” s

SELKIRK RES ERVES 5 BRANTHAM B ADGERS 2 “Bad

gers made the trip to “theatre of Dumbarton nightmares” Road last S that is unday to p la y Selkirk in th Cup. Afte r waiting fo e Junior r a vacant changing room 15 minutes for nearly the lads fina lly decided to bite the got changed bullet and outside in th e wind and rain.

Despite the poor weathe r conditions the match brightly. How started ever, it wa s Selkirk th at were on foot with bot th e front h wingersinvo lved in pin ning the Bad in their own ge rs back half, just 15 minutes in and an inch through ball p erfect saw their st riker calmly slot the bal l home .1-0 Despite the set-back B adgers agai n did their back on leve best to ge l terms with t Graham Sti ff going clos Craig Clarke e from a free kick. L ee Clarke and Jonatha were both n Hammond putting in st rong challeng es in an at keep Selkir tempt to k at bay. G uy Clubb e ve n go when he cle t in on the aned out on act e of the S e lk irk strikers waist height at using his he ad. Not to be outdone comedy mom on the ents Jonat han Hammon d then man to fall over aged whilst trying to give an option for a quick corne r.


BRANTHAM BADGERS 1 WORLINGWORTH 3

e chances now and “Brantham were creating mor Craig Clarke went close both Richard Mawdsley and game safe with a before Worlingworth made the through to Kieran Nicholls third goal. The ball broke Bowdler at his near who made ground and beat m were still creating post to make it 1-3. Brantha e them count. With time chances but just could mak men forward yet again running out Brantham pushed into the Worlingworth and this time the ball ran e out Ross Cracknell area and as the keeper cam ball, he had to make was steaming in to get the going down keeper a choice hit into the already keeper and he or dive to stop going into the that Tom Daley would chose the latter with a dive best of games for have been proud of. Not the worth played well they Brantham and although Worling game the home side will know that for a lot of the making passes that wen were mistiming tackles and a team mate.” to an opponent rather than

BRANTHAM BADGERS 2 KITCHENERS RESERVES 3

e forward with the “Brantham’s Greg Ranson cam ds out sent in a ball and from a good 25 yar er keeper did well to stinging shot that the Kitchen rney thought he had tip round the post. Sean Kea n he ran onto a good given Brantham the lead whe to see it disallowed through ball to hit it home only d the lead when for offside. Kitcheners grabbe Brantham area and the ball was played into the the ball it was kicked as Brantham tried to clear er man who saw the virtually straight at a Kitchen the Brantham net. Ash shot cannon off him and into denied Kitchenerts Bowdler in the Brantham goal e on level terms their third goal. Brantham wer a penalty and up when Kitcheners conceeded ell to place the ball stepped the cool Ross Crackn keeper the wrong way on the spot and send the With time running out it with a well taken spot kick. a draw but Kitcheners looked as if would even in ball not being cleared had other ideas and with the ard ran in and with in the Brantham area a forw ealing fora penalty he some of his team mates app swept the ball home sidestepped a challenge and and grab a 3-2 win.

ALL TIME STATS...

W

ith the Badgers second season now over, lets take a quick look at some of the all time stats...

35-3-20

The Badgers have now played 58 competitive games, winning 35, Drawing 3 and losing 20..#AllTimeRecord

17 86%

The number of different players to score for the Badgers. #Threat

1455

of games won after scoring the 1st goal. Compared to winning just 14% after conceeding the 1st goal #Clinical

On average V-man scores one goal every 1455 minutes #Prolific

All time appearence leaderboard

3-1

R. Cracknell C. Clarke A. Bowdler D. Bowdler A. Backhouse S. Kearney G. Stiff L. Clarke G. Ranson G. Clubb

The most common result for the Badgers. 3-1 winners 7 times, 3 times more than any other result. #If YouScoreOneWe’llScoreThree

194

55 55 53 52 51 49 49 49 47 45

26% & 32% of those goals have been scored by Jamie Carrington, whilst 32% were created by Craig Clarke.

Total number of goals scored by the Badgers, that’s an average of 3.34 per game. #Entertainers 19 17

16 15 13 12

9

9

8

11 10

9

10

10

9

9

6

2

0 min

25 min

45 min

65 min

Badgers goal distribution, seems we don’t like the first 5 minutes of either half very much. #SlowStarters

90 min


2011-12

END OF SEASON AWARDS NIGHT PLAYERS PLAYER OF THE SEASON

OTHERS 13%

GUY CLUBB 20%

ASHLEY BOWDLER 37%

CRAIG CLARKE 30%

MOST IMPROVED PLAYER OTHERS 8% TERRY PERCIVAL 13%

RICHARD MAWDSLEY 13%

SEAN KEARNEY 30%

GUY CLUBB 16%

JUSTIN VINCE 20%


The Badger Annual 2011