Grub & Pub Report May 2018

Ser ving W isconsin, Minnesota & B e y o n d !

TM

Grub & Pub Report

T h e M a g a z i n e T h a t H e l p s Yo u L a u g h , T h i n k & Fe e l

Vo l . 1 5 / No. 5

May 2018

Lake Hallie Golf May 2018 Cover Story

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Chippewa Falls (Lake Hallie), WI (See Pg 2)

GRUB & PUB REPORT PO BOX 473 CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI 54729

MAY 2018

GRUB & PUB REPORT

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Cover Photo by: Angie Linneman

M AY 2 0 1 8 C O V E R S T O R Y

Lake Hallie Golf Chippewa Falls (Lake Hallie) , WI

By Dyzzi Baker

In this day and age when considering starting your own business or adding to what you are currently doing it is very important to not only consider the business you want to go into but also whether you are going to operate as a sole proprietorship or in a partnership with someone.

Finding the right person to be in

Owners Lake Hallie Golf; Dave Eisenhuth & Donn ‘Dino’ Amundson

business with is just as important as finding the right business to be in and sometimes the business that you end up being in for your life is nothing like what you planned but can become more than what you ever expected. This is the case with Donn ‘Dino’ Amundson and Dave Eisenhuth who in 2009

May 2018

formed a partnership based on a lifelong friendship and bought Lake Hallie, Wisconsin’s Best Kept Secret.. The Hallie Golf Course located at 2196 110th St., in Chippewa Falls, WI in the town of Lake Hallie.

Lake Hallie Golf was established in 1925 by the Moe’s who owned it from 1925 – 1941. In 1941 they sold it to Art and Rita Tangen who sold it to Severson family in 1982.

It was then sold to Tom Isham before being again sold to Dino and Dave in 2009. The original golf course consisted of a lower (front) 9 holes and small building and expanded over the years to an upper (back) 9 holes as well with a bigger facility on the top tier of a two tiered property.

When Dino and Dave took over

the Golf Course a portion of the current bar area was the offices of the golf course but now thru much hard work and vision the main building now houses not only a roomy dining room that seats about 70 guests but also an extensive bar area with additional seating of 80 guests, a

beauti ful deck area known as “The Top of the Green Patio” with seating for approx.. 80 more guests and outside pavilion that are all available to rent for you next birthday, retirement, celebration of life, and /or graduation parties, business event or mid size wedding, wedding rehearsal or other event in your life. Dino and Dave have also added on several outside buildings for maintenance and grounds equipment.

It is said that successful people get things done and this is very true with Dino and Dave. Dino graduated from Memorial High School in 1973 and then went onto college with a Math degree after switching his major from Physical Education at Golden

Valley Jr. College which he was able to attend on a baseball scholarship. He switched his major as he knew he never wanted to be a Phy Ed Teacher and was really good at math. He also never figured he was going to college but when presented with the baseball

scholarship it was a way to peruse his dream of maybe one day of playing professionally. Dino was very involved in the baseball scene having played for the college and then with the Eau Claire Cavaliers along with fast pitch for Madison Farm, Green Bay All Car and All American out of St. Paul and then around Chippewa Falls and Eau Claire for local teams. He also spent 31 years in the heavy construction business with Thill Track & Tractor Co. out of Eau Claire, a company that was started by his father-in-law. Dino has been married to his wife Mary Ann for the past 42 years and has two children, now adults; Gary (wife Julie) and Christina (husband Jeff) and four grand children; Saksen, Gracie, Lexie and Ava whom he loves spending time with when not working or directing the work at the Golf Course.

He is fully retired from the construction industry and so now focuses his attention primarily on the golf course.

Dino’s parents (Don & Mary Jo) were the previous owners of the Diamond Lounge & Elbow Room in Eau Claire. It is said that is where Dino developed his expertise at Bar tending and received his degree in psychology.

(Continued on page 8)

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TABLE O F C ONTENTS : COVER STORY Lake Hallie Golf ‐ Chippewa ‐ Lake Hallie, WI ...P. 2 READER COMMENTS.......N/A .......

GAME PAGES Crossword ....................... Pg. 4 Word Search..................... Pg. 5 ..

Movie Ticket Trivia.............Pg. 5 Curvy Word Puzzle...........Pg. 34 Kakuro ............................Pg. 29 .Suduko Hard only.............Pg. 34 Games Answers.........Pg.36‐37 Answers New Horoscope...............Pg. 34 TYPO Contest : Rules & Winners ...........Pg. 4

Directory of Advertisers Pgs. 19 & 22 Directory of Advertisers Pg 19 & 22 Maps of Advertisers ..Pg. 20 21 Classified Section .......Pg. 36‐37 Subscription See Below ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Pg. 38‐39 COVER PHOTO BY: Angie Linneman

Submit Jokes, Letters, Subscription or Advertising Requests To: GNP REPORT P.O. Box 473 Chippewa Falls, WI 54729 Area Sales Representatives: **Call Dyzzi direct for any areas not listed by Sales Rep

Dyzzi *Donna Johnson (Owner) 715‐456‐7518 dyzzi42@yahoo.com Menomonie ‐ Downing, Osseo ‐ , Arcadia ‐ Strum, Melrose, Mindoro, Owen, Withee, Neillsville, Pray, Granton, Black River Falls

Keith Ewing ‐ 715‐ 404‐0885 (Bloomer ‐ Trego‐Hayward) Dan Callan ‐ 715‐495‐8091 (Eau Claire ‐Roberts) ST. CROIX VALLEY CONTACT Patricia Thatcher psthatch@q.com

Upcoming Cover Stories: June 2018 Spider Lake - Birchwood, WI July 2018 BBQ Epress Catering Lake Hallie, Wi

May 2018

Hello From Dyzzi!

A Mother cries tears of joy and tears of sadness, tears of distress and tears of happiness. A Mother’s tears.. no gold could ever be worth as much or mean more!

Dyzzi Hello and Welcome to the Month of May..

FINALLY..

I was starting to feel like it was never going to get here with all of the snow we got the middle two weeks of April. I think it was more than we got all winter season! But it is over now and the warm weather begins for a short time anyway!

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you great ladies out there who take your time each day to make sure your families are healthy, happy, fed, get enough sleep, get enough water, go the doctor when necessary, have clean underwear, etc.. etc.. etc.. a mother’s job is truly never done.. but Thank God for that or WE wouldn’t be necessary and I kinda like being a bit necessary in someone’s life don’t you?

I also want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every veteran that is serving today.. has served and has been take from us by war and the act of wars. Thank you that you considered freedom more important than life in some cases and that you were willing to leave the comforts of home to fight for the freedom of the many instead of only the prosperity or power of the few!

Happy birthday also to my daughter LeTessa! You are such a lovely young women with a great future ahead of you and I am proud this Mother’s Day and every day to call you my daughter!

Thank you for being the wonderful woman you are and I pray many blessings come to you in your life as you make your way thru the world and all of it’s ups and downs.

Last month I said..

No One Wants to Work!! and said I would say more on that is this issue.. well here it is.

Who is the fool.. The American

r leading leadi ding themselves t emsel th elves to the t e th people are slaughter, refusing to work for minimum wage while also refusing to even show up for work as to many government programs are in place to take care of all their needs..

We are in dire straights America when our young people think they can start a job at a top wage without earning first by starting at the bottom and working their way up like most of us had to do.

This toughened us for the real world and taught us that life is not full of hand outs and that hand outs were disgraceful. If a person isn’t willing to work should we all just give to them freely.. I think NOT! I was on welfare when younger and with small children, but at the time I was embarrassed to be on it.. I needed my own money that I had worked for to be proud of myself and so worked three jobs and carried 16 credits in college to get myself off of the system. Nowadays our young adult children think they can start a job at $25 an hour.. then not clean up after themselves, show up on time, do the chores like cleaning the bathrooms, counters, window sills, taking out the garbage etc. that is a part of every persons job at some point or another and then they have the gall to sit on their cell phones and talk to their friends or play phone games and still want their paycheck which they complain about isn’t enough. I think ..we need to teach that if a person doesn’t work or do the work they are supposed to on a job they don’t get free hand outs and free food. .. free phones.. free heat etc etc.. if you don’t want to work I guess you are telling all of us employers and our government (if the government was actually listening) that you want to starve because that is what you would do if you didn’t support yourself .. at least before the 90’s that is..

There are more than enough jobs.. there are just not enough young people who trust in themselves enough to advance

b learning and doing. They have been by t taught not to work as we keep giving everything e to them.. We got to stop so they t are able to survive someday s on their own! Or do we all really want to keep supporting everyone who w says ‘they can’t work’.. or ‘Can’t find a job’, or the job doesn’t pay f e enough or they are not going to work at McDonalds.. Well if I was hungry or needed clothes I would work any where for anyone who would give me an honest job for an honest starting wage and opportunity to learn and then advance.

Be proud of yourselves .. get to work.

Start somewhere and work up like we all had to do! Our businesses are failing because we have no workers.. If they fail then who will pay for your free lunch?

Government officials.. let’s do more checking on those who are on welfare so the abuse of the system also stops!

Well enough on that for now.. check out this months issue for great stories, games events from our advertisers and info. on the state of South Carolina!

WELCOME NEW ADVERTISERS -Cedar Bay Resort, Bar & Grill– is conveniently located on the north end of Marshmiller Lake at 14611 222nd Ave. in Bloomer, Wisconsin which is also on ATV & Snowmobile trails. It is owned by Danny Brott and Karon R. who took over the establishment on March 24th, 2017. They offer fun, relaxation, fishing, boating, cabin rentals and much more at Cedar Bay. See their ad on page 17 - Aaron’s Happy Hour Bar- is located at 601 S Main St. in Rice Lake, Wisconsin. It is owned by Aaron Beets and boasts being the only real music bar in Rice Lake with open mic on Wednesdays and and Sundays and Karaoke of Friday and Saturdays. Plus check out Aaron’s for a great Happy Hour from 11am - 7pm!

See his ad on page 31

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Typo Winner of the Month: The April 2018 Typo Contest winner is Carla Steinmetz of Chippewa Falls, WI who found the word “Lost” instead of “Last”in the VFW Post 7232 ad on page 12.

She will receive $10 in GNP Bucks to use at any of our current advertiser locations.

Thanks for reading and Congratulations!

(THESE MAY TAKE UP TO 6 WEEKS TO RECEIVE) Send entries to: Dyzzi Enterprises PO Box 473 Chippewa Falls, WI 54729 or...

Call - 715-456-7518 email: dyzzi42@yahoo.com

Cross Word Puzzle (Answers Pg 36 37)

TYPO CONTEST RULES:

- Only typos found in advertisements are eligible for prizes.

-Typos in the articles are not part of the typo contest.

-Typos in ads are the only typos considered for the contest.

-Everyone who finds a typo in an advertisement whether it’s the correct typo or editorial mistake, will be entered into the contest.

-You can call, e-mail or mail in your answers to the typo contest. See contact information on page three. -All guesses must be turned in by the 15th of the month. (Major Holiday months by the 13th.)

-One winner will be drawn from all received answers on or about the 15th of the month.

-Winners will receive a $10.00 in GnP Bucks to be used at current advertiser locations only.

May 2018

4

CROSSWORD (DOWN) (DOWN)

Word Search Puzzle (Answers Pg 36 37)

DONATION Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'

'It is!'

'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'

'I can!'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'

'I do!'

'Is he a member of your congregation?'

'He is!'

'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'

'He will.'

LEMON SQUEEZE A religious young woman went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'

The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'

She said, 'Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times.'

The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'

'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'

'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'

May 2018

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CHIPPEWA FALLS PAGE JOIN US FOR STEPPIN’ ACROSS TILDEN FOR A CAUSE 5 Mile Fun Walk/Run Saturday, June 2nd, 2018 Begins at Dougie’s - Ends at Bresina’s Reg 8-9:30am / Starts 10am

*Shuttle Service from Bresina’s to Dougie’s for Reg *Charcoal Chicken Dinner, Raffles, Auctions, Kids Carnival Proceeds to Graden Hansen Family Halfway Between Hwy 124 & 53

Hwy B Tilden, WI 715-288-6303

GOLFING AFRICA An avid golfer found himself in Africa with time to play. He asked at his hotel for the nearest golf course, was put in a cab, and spent two hours being driven deeper and deeper into the jungle until he arrived at a course.

He checked in with the pro and asked to rent some equipment and, since he'd never played the course before, for a caddie. In a few minutes, he was escorted to the 1st tee, where his caddie was waiting with a bagful of clubs under one arm and a rifle under the other.

The golfer was taken aback, but composed himself and hit a good drive down the fairway of the

opening hole, a tough par-4. As they were walking to his ball, a tiger sprang out of the rough and charged the golfer. Without missing a beat, the caddie dropped the bag, aimed his rifle, and shot the animal dead.

Again, the golfer had to compose himself, taking a minute to catch his breath. But he quickly recovered, hit a good approach, and parred the hole.

The same thing happened on the 2nd hole, a long, twisting par-5.

But this time it was a lion that bolted out of the jungle, charged the golfer, and was dropped by a single shot from the caddie's rifle.

By now the golfer was visibly shaken, but the caddie looked unflappable -- and obviously was a good shot -- so they played on.

The 3rd hole was an easy par-3 surrounded by water. The golfer hit a good short iron, which landed near the cup. As he was walking onto the green, a crocodile slid out of the water and began moving toward him.

Unfazed, the golfer looked to his caddie for help. But the caddie stood motionless. The crocodile moved closer, and the golfer, beginning to get upset, again glanced at the caddie, who didn't move. Finally, with the crocodile just inches away, the golfer

River Inn

Ba r & Grill

(715) 723-9481 10418 Cty Hwy X Chippewa Falls, WI “Good Food, Good Friends, Good Memories”

Open 7 Days A Week!

May 2018

screamed, "Aren't you going to do something?"

The caddie looked at the scorecard and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you don't get a shot on this hole."

GOLFERS DREAM GIRL A multimillionaire bachelor goes to his club to play golf with two friends. Not knowing who would be joining them, they walk to the 1st tee.

As they finish teeing off, a tall, beautiful, raven-haired woman asks if she can join them.

Although the bachelor thinks this is going to slow down their play, he agrees. The woman tees up a ball and, without a practice swing, smacks it straight down the middle.

This goes on all day and she finishes even par for the round, beating all the men.

They invite her back the next week. They have a great time, and she shoots the same score. The bachelor thinks to himself, "This is the girl of my dreams!" So he asks her out on a date. They go out, find they have much in common, and have a great evening.

They make another golf date, during which she shoots twounder and gives a clinic in shot making.

Schemboda’s

12942 100th Ave. Chippewa, Falls

715-723-0131 KITCHEN OPEN 2p-Cl Mon-Fri and 12p - Cl Sat & Sun HAPPY HOUR: M,T,TH & F 2-6P & 2-9p Wed

Happy Hour Prices for all..

Packer & Badger Games!

THURS: $1.50 BURGERS 2p-9p Full Menu Available Daily till 9p

The millionaire is now convinced that they are meant to be together.

He invites her back to his apartment, where they talk for hours. Everything is progressing smoothly, so he invites her to his bedroom. Their passions run riot, but she doesn't let things go too far and he drives her home.

This pattern continues for a month: Great golf, great dates, but nights of abbreviated passion. The bachelor can't take it anymore.

"I know the time we spent on the golf course and in my apartment is wonderful. And even though we haven't been fully intimate, I know that I love you, you love me, and that you are the girl I want to marry!"

"Darling," she says, "I have something to tell you. I cannot hide it anymore. I am a man!"

His mouth drops open, his face turns red, he begins to shake. She's

Serving Full Menu... 7 Days A Week!

Try the rest then come back for the best!

Mon thru Thur: All-U-Can-Eat Wings Jumbo Br oa st ed Ch icken Win gs Over 2 8,5 00 Lb s of W in gs S old in 2017 !! !

F r id ay Fi sh Sp e cia l: 2p $8.45 / 3p $9.95 / Fish & Shrimp Combo $12.95

Try Our: Hot Beef & Fries Only $6 Join Us for AmpQuiz Trivia Monday Nights @ 7pm!

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CHIPPEWA FALLS PAGE convinced he's going to have a heart attack, or worse, when finally, in a blind rage, he shouts, "And all this time you've been playing from the red tees?"

INTRODUCING SOUTH CAROLINA Following exploration of the coast in 1521 by Francisco de Gordillo, the Spanish tried unsuccessfully to establish a colony near present-day Georgetown in 1526, and the French also failed to colonize Parris Island near Fort Royal in 1562. The first English settlement was made in 1670 at Albemarle Point on the Ashley River, but poor conditions drove the settlers to the site of Charleston (originally called Charles Town).

South Carolina, officially separated from North Carolina in 1729, was the scene of extensive military action during the Revolution and again during the Civil War. The Civil War began in 1861 as South Carolina troops fired on federal Fort Sumter in Charleston Harbor, and the state was the first to secede from the Union.

Once primarily agricultural, South Carolina today has many large textile and other mills that produce several times the output of its farms in cash value.

SOURCE: https://www.infoplease. com

WELCOME TO LOOPY’S ..

HOME OF THE WORLD’S ONLY HEATED SAND VOLLEYBALL DOME

/us/states/south-carolina

OUTDOOR RECREATION Columbia SC lies at the confluence of the Saluda and Broad Rivers which merge right in town to form the Congaree. The region is flush with regional parks and opportunities for outdoor adventures. And with so many trails, gardens and Lake Murray nearby, it doesn’t take long to get from the middle of town to what seems like the middle of nowhere. Escape the bustling city and get lost in your thoughts amidst fresh air, cool waters and old growth hardwood forest in next to no time flat.

HAPPY HOUR MON - FRI 3-6pm

WIN Loopy’s Jackpot Draw each night @ 6pm **Buy 1 .. Get $1.50 off Your 2nd Drink!

SAT., JUNE 2ND. 11TH ANNUAL RIDIN' FOR A REASON Motorcycle and classic car ride. Starts and Ends at Loopy's See for info..Loopy's Saloon, Grill and Event Dome/ Facebook

FATFAR Sunday June 24th Loopy's has tubes, canoes, kayaks and floating coolers. Shuttles to and from Loopy's, Chippewa Falls boat landing, and Lake Hallie Sportsmen's club. music, cookout, volleyball, bean bags, fire pit, and more. Float starts at Noon.

SUMMER VOLLEYBALL SIGN UP, SUN-FRI *ONLY $60 PER TEAM SUMMER BEAN BAG LEAGUES * SUN OR THURS NIGHTS *Incentives for Players: Free beer, free pizza, free tubing all summer long, great discounts & specials, chance to win a free stay at Sapphire Beach on the Caribbean Island of St. Thomas.

FRIDAY FISH FRY!

May 2018 Cover Photo (Spring Forest)

Taken By: Angie Linneman To contact Angie for photography work please email her at: angielinneman@gmail.com.

WINTER VACATION GETAWAY! Leinenkugel Honey Weiss Beer Battered Cod w/your choice Rent a beach front condo, 20 steps of a potato & soup or salad. to the water! Vacation on OLD FASHIONED FRIDAYS Beautiful Island of St. Thomas **Try our hand muddled classics with your choice of liquor, *Go to VRBO.com mix and garnish $4.50 and Enter 803500 *Loopy’s favorite ..Bacardi Oakheart Rum, Sweet w/Olives Ask Loopy for details * Friday Nights..

Open Courts for Volleyball & Kubb & Bag Toss, Giant Jenga, Hammerschlagen ** Families Welcome PARTY SHUTTLE RENTAL 14 Passenger Van $225 for 5 hours + gas ($25 an hr ea. add’l hr) 14 Passenger Shuttle Bus $275 for 5 hours + gas ($35 an hr ea. add’l hr) *All rentals include driver!

Free Shuttle Pick-Up & Drop Off from Home or Hotel within 15 Min. of Loopy’s *7 Days A Week!

**LUNCH BUFFET M - F 11a - 2p Full Salad Bar w/ soups & homemade pizza!

Build your own sandwiches, deviled eggs & dessert only $7.50

Sun. Night is Pizza Night 4 til 10 $9.99 16" cheese pizzas, $1.25 each topping Double punches on pitcher and pizza cards *Free Pool

Book Your Next Party in the Loopy Dome!

HOME OF THE JUMBO DRINK. Pay for 2 Mixers and get the 3rd shot free.

Buy 5 bottles of beer in a bucket and get the 6th free.

May 2018

7

CHIPPEWA FALLS PAGE M AY 2 0 1 8 C O V E R S T O R Y

Lake Hallie Golf Chippewa Falls, (Lake Hallie) WI

By Dyzzi Baker (Continued from page 2)

Open 11am - Close Kitchen Open Till 10pm Phone: 715-723-2400 9504 County Hwy S, Chippewa Falls, WI WEEKLY FOOD SPECIALS: MON: All-You-Can-Eat Wings TUES: 2 for 1 Half Lb. Burgers WED: 1/2 Off Pizzas THURS: Italian Nite and Full Menu FRI: Fish Fry, Chicken & Ribs Buffet SAT: Prime Rib and Full Menu Sunday... Funday with Buckets of Beer FAST.. In & Out Lunch Buffet

Book Your Party or Event at the Edge’s "Down Under Saloon" with walkout to lower deck on Lake Wissota or Book the event room on main level. We have a 72 slip marina with 22 boat slips up front for easy access to bar & restaurant!

The Edge Pub & Eatery on Lake Wissota

May 2018

Dave graduated from Eau Claire North and then went to work for several small construction companies which encouraged him to start his own construction company called Two Rivers Construction which he has operated full-time for the past 30 years. Dave says that ‘Dino’ is the boss of the Golf Course and the face to be seen also in charge of the grounds while he is behind the scenes and works on all construction and maintenance projects needed at the course while still working full-time in his construction company. Dave is always available to lend a helping hand when ever needed. And when you see Dino & Dave together you would think that they are more like brothers than business partners. It is a great relationship. Dave meet his wife Barb 38 years ago and well be celebrating their anniversary this May.. Congrats you two!! They have three grown boys; Greg, Mark and Kyle and two grand children; Zooey and Von. Dave was also the previous owner of the Hilltop Tavern in Eau Claire,

which was in his family for over 20 years. For the past nine years he has owned the Sunrise Resort in Chetek, WI on Prairie Lake which has cabins and pontoons available for rent. Give Dave a call at 715-828-8387 for availability. Dave and Barb also operate 10 Apartment Rentals in the Chippewa Valley.

Neither Dino nor Dave ever intended to own and operate a golf course in fact until owning the course neither one of them were very good golfers but they have always been great friends who have built a trust in each other over time!! Funny how life has a way of putting us and our talents where they will best be used which was the case when the opportunity to invest in and then buy the Hallie Golf Course presented itself to Dino and Dave.

Stop into Hallie Golf which is

open to the public all year long for dining and beverages.

Winter hours: Open Wednesday thru Sunday until after Super Bowl Sunday when they then close on Sundays; Wednesday and Thursdays 3pm – Close, Friday – Sunday 11am – Close. The golf season opens as soon as the weather permits when the course is open 7 days a week. Summer Hours; Sunday – Sunday 7am – Close.

(Continued on page 13)

(715) 861-5442

LAKE HALLIE GOLF PATIO IS OPEN FOR THE 2017 SEASON *Breathtaking.. Spectacular Views * Relax After Your Round *Have a Romantic ‘Deck’ Dinner Out * Showers, Reunions, Grad Parities *Company Parties, Rehearsal Dinners & More! *Bookings Available Now for Lake, Grad * Perfect for up to 100 guest!

Come Golf With Us..18 Us. Hole Layout features: 5,885 yards of golf from longest tees, playing to a Par of 70, Course rating 68.3, 124 slope rate.

Home of Friends, Fairways & Good Times

2196 110th St, Chippewa Falls, WI

8

CHIPPEWA FALLS PAGE OPEN DAILY: 11a - 2a

Join Us for...

Daily Drink Specials... $2.25 Rail & Gun 6-12a

HAPPY HOUR $2.25 Dom Beer ALL Day & Night TUE - FRI 2-6PM Phone: 715-720-0976 24 W. Spring St. Chippewa Falls, WI TO MUCH BEANS During lunch at work, I ate three plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang.

He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more.

The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears

Burly’s Bar 19 E. Canal St. Chippewa Falls, WI 715-720-9148 Hours Open: 2:30pm(ish) - CL Mon - Sun

IT’S HAPPY HOUR... @ BURLY’S! 2 – 6pm Mon - Thurs $1.75 Dom

May 2018

carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable!

Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peaked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused, "Happy Birthday!"

QUOTE OF THE MONTH “Plunge boldly into the thick of life, and seize it where you will, it is always interesting.”

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe DEON COLE: GETTING FIT When I moved out to LA they told me I had to work out. I was like, I don’t wanna do that. They gave me this trainer, and the dude was like... The most important thing is, you can’t eat late at night or you’ll get fat.

And I’m like, Forget that, your supposed to eat late at night.

He was like, No your not.

I’m like, Well, why do they put a light in the refrigerator?

ED HELMS: WATCHING THE NEW YORK CITY MARATHON I went and watched the New York City Marathon. It goes right by my apartment in Brooklyn, and I went with a group of friends.

And all my friends are cheering for the runners; they’re like, Whoo! Good job! Way to go!

Keep it up, youre lookin good!

Great job! I was like, You don’t have to do that! Thats unnecessary! You know what?

I’ve got a bike, you can take it.

Better yet, come inside -- I’ve got air conditioning; my roommate made some guacamole, its awesome; we rented Meatballs.

HIT WITH A CAN A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink.

QUESTION FOR YOU Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.

IRISH TRAVELERS So two Irishmen are traveling to Australia. Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: "You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They'll rob you blind. Don't you go paying them what they ask. You haggle."

At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel.

When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, "That'll be twenty dollars, lads."

"Oh no you don't! My dad warned me about you. You'll only be getting fifteen dollars from me," says one of the men. "And you'll only be getting fifteen from me too," adds the other.

Lucky cab driver!

Submitted By: P.S.Thatcher, Bayport MN

Phone: 715-723-7822 29 E. Park Ave. Chippewa Falls, WI OPEN: Tue - Fri 9a - CL Sa, Su & M Noon - CL Happy Hour: M-F 9a -11a & 3p -6p DON'T LET ME BE LATE A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran, she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"

As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. Again, she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!...But don't shove me either!"

DARTS - POOL GOLDEN TEE GOLF Happy Hour: 2-6p M-F 616 N. Bridge St. Chippewa Falls, WI Phone# 1-534-220-7027 Entertainment: *DJ or Band Every Weekend *Karaoke Thursday Nights

May 5th: 2nd X-It THUR DART TOURNAMENTS Run up till State Darts starts @ 7pm FREE Juke Box All Day Tues Watch Brewers Games Here Happy Hour: 2-6pm Monday - Friday

9

You Gotta Try Mary’s HOT BEEF’s at the ....

WANDER INN

Happy Hr 4 - 6pm Quick Menu Served All Day Mon - Fri “Sonny’ Burger, Fries, Pizza & More!

Cty. Rd. T & Cty Hwy X. Chippewa Falls, WI 715-874-5590 Coldest Beer Around

QUESTIONABLE MEDICAL ADVICE Submitted by Tom Golden I don't understand why prescription medicine is allowed to advertise on TV or why anyone would think of trying one of the medicines after listening to the laundry list of warnings of possible side effects But this is definitely an exception!

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

Do you sometimes feel stressed?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon.

Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident.. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately and, with a regiment of regular doses, you'll overcome obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want.

Slim’s

La k e Ha l lie T a v e r n Enjoy.. Good Spirits, Food & Fun! 1979 Cty Hwy OO Chippewa Falls, WI (Lake Hallie) 715-832-9303

O P E N @ 8 A M E V E RY D AY !

Bean Bag tournaments every Tuesday night!

Join us for Slim's Spring

Golf Tourney May 12th!

WANTED!

Two-Man Pool Teams for the Summer..

Sign - Up now!

Stop In & Meet Our New Bartenders and Cooks!

Check Out Our New Lunch & Food Specials

Judy's Mashed Potato's, Roast Beef & Gravy Served Daily!! * TACO & TEQUILA Tuesdays: * Meat Raffle Wednesdays w/$1.50 Dom Beers $2 R rails * Sunday & Thursday

Ladies Night 1/2 price drinks 8p - CL

BROASTED CHICKEN & FRIDAY FISH PLATES ARE BACK!

May 2018

CHIPPEWA FALLS - LAKE HALLIE PG. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past. You will discover talents you never knew you had.

Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it but women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include: Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

Warnings: The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.

The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

Please feel free to share this important information!

Life is a cavernet old chum!

EVENTS IN MAY •Beltane •Armed Forces Day •May Day •Memorial Day •Mother’s Day ALL ABOUT SOUTH CAROLINA Capital: Columbia Population: 4,625,364 Source: 2010 Demographic Profile -- U.S. Census Bureau Governor:Nikki Haley (Republican, to January 2019) Entered the Union:May 23, 1788 as the 8th state Mottoes:Animis opibusque parati (Prepared in mind and resources) and Dum spiro spero (While I breathe, I hope) Nickname: The Palmetto State Flower : Carolina Yellow Jessamine Bird: Carolina wren Song: Carolina Professional Sports Teams No NFL, MLB, NBA, WNBA, MLS, or NHL teams. (sports listing policy) Origin of Name: In honor of Charles I of England Historical Sites: Fort Sumter National Monument Points of Interest: Aircraft carrier USS Yorktown in Charleston Harbor; the Middleton, Magnolia, and Cypress Gardens in Charleston Bordering States: North Carolina and Georgia.

DAILY SPECIALS: Mon & Tues: Chef’s Choice Wed: Smoked Jumbo Chicken Wings w/ff’s & Apple Bacon Coleslaw Thur: Chef’s Choice Fri: Pasta Entree’s Open: 816 N. High St. Sat: Chef’s Choice Pizza Special Chippewa Falls, WI Sun -Tues Sun: Buy (1) 16” Pizza get (1) 1/2 off 11am - 9pm

715-861-5473 Like Us on FB!

(Equal or lesser value) Wed - Sat 11am - 11pm Pizza Buffet Mon - Thurs 11a-2p $11

10

CURED! Shakey went to a psychiatrist.

"Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.

Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under ... you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink.

"Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street.

"Why didn't you ever come to

Open Hours: Tue - Fri 1p - Cl Sat & Sun 11a-Cl

Wi Fi

Sorry.. Closed Mondays

See us on FACEBOOK @...

LindaandDansTCRoundabout

8685 St. Hwy 124 Chippewa

715-723-2709

ENTERTAINMENT: May 19th The Cragars Band 9-1 Happy Mother’s Day! HAPPY HOUR TUES - FRI 50 Cents Off ALL Drinks 2-6p Sun & Tues Beer Buckets 5-4-$10 or 6-4-$12 SHAKE FOR A STEAK..

TUESDAYS! Wed: $1 Dom Mugs & FREE Pool $3 Cherry/ Jager Bombs Thur: $2 Leinies/Leinies Lt. Fri: Pizza & Beer Pitcher $15 Sa & Su $3.50 Bloodys 11a-2p

PACKER DAY SPECIAL Beer buckets 5-4-$10 or 6-4-$12.

Free shot on Packer T.D.’s

May 2018

CHIPPEWA - LAKE HALLIE PAGE see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck's a visit?

A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

FATHER IN LAW OF THE LAW A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding.“But, Officer,” the man protested, “I can explain.”

“Be quiet,” ordered the officer.

“You can sit in jail until the chief gets back.”

“But, sir, I just wanted to say— ““I told you to stay quiet! You’re going to jail!”

A couple of hours later the officer checked in on the man and said, “You’re lucky that the chief is at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a great mood when he gets back.”

“I doubt that,” answered the prisoner. “I’m the groom.

SHORT JOKE QUOTES 1. Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

P. J. O'Rourke 2. I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

Joe E. Lewis

3. Never have more children than you have car windows.

Mike Myers 4. TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Frank Lloyd Wright BEDFORDSHIRE MAY DAY CAROL The moon shines bright, the stars give a light A little before tis day Our Heavenly Father, he called to us And bid us awake and pray Awake, awake, my pretty prithy maid, Come out of your drowsy dream, And step into your dairy hold, And fetch me a bowl of cream If not a bowl of cream, my dear, A cup of meade to cheer, For the Lord and Lady know we shall meet again, To go Maying another year.

A branch of May I brought you here, While at your keep I stand, 'Tis but a sprout all budded out, By the power of our Lady's hand.

My song is done and I must be gone, No longer may I stay, Gods bless you all, the great and small, And send you a joyous May. Source: Lucy E. Broadwood, ed., English Traditional Songs and Carols. London: Boosey & Co., 1908

Lake Hallie Sportsman’s Club OPEN TO THE PUBLIC! Happy Hour: Mon - Fri 4:30pm - 6:30pm ENTERTAINMENT:

Wed., May 9th Music Bingo 5-7pm Join Us For.. FATFAR 2018

2910 109th St. Chippewa Falls, WI 715-726-1050 (Located Between Lake Hallie & the Chippewa River)

2588 Business Hwy 53 Lake Hallie, WI 715-723-0172 KITCHEN OPEN DAILY 11a - 2p & 5p - 9p FULL MENU & DAILY SPECIALS Monday Night Any 2 Menu Burgers $11.99 (Any 2 Burgers Off Menu)

Tuesday Night 6 Tacos Only $6.99 Wednesday Night All-U-Can-Eat Wings Only $9.99 (5p till Gone) Thursday Night 12 Inch Pizza (Up to 4 Toppings Only $5.99) Friday Night Buffet 5p - 9p Only $13.49 Sat & Sun Nights Whole Chicken w/ JoJo’s

(8pc) & Slaw $11.99 ENTERTAINMENT *Music Bingo: April 27 (3rd Friday Monthly)

*Trivia: Fri., April 13th (2nd Friday Monthly)

Community Meat Raffle held Every Thursday at 6:30pm Join Us at ..

The Eagle’s Club for great food, fun and conversation!

OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

BANQUET HALL..

2 Large Halls Available for Booking Your Event! with BBQ Express Catering

11

EAU CLAIRE PAGE CHALLENGING THE POPE The Pope met with his cardinals to discuss a proposal from the Prime Minister of Israel.

"Your Holiness," said one of the cardinals, "the Prime Minister wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths."

The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never played golf. "Do we have a cardinal who plays who can represent me?" he asked.

"None that play well," the cardinal replied. "But there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is very devout. We can offer to make him a cardinal, then ask him to play as your personal

representative. Besides showing our spirit of cooperation, we'll win the match."

Everyone agreed it was a good idea and the call was made. Of course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play.

The day after the match, Nicklaus came to the Vatican to report to the Pope. "I have some good news and some bad news, your Holiness," the golfer told the Pope.

"Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus."

"I don't like to brag, but even though I've played some great golf in my life, this was the best I've ever played, by far. I must have been inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons accurate and purposeful, and

VFW POST 7232 2900 W. Folsom St. Eau Claire, WI (715) 832- 3528 SEE OUR FACEBOOK PAGE! Facebook.com/VFW Post 7232 Folsom Street

MAY ENTERTAINMENT (Bands Runs 8p-12a Unless Specified)

Fri 5/11: Jeff White Fri 5/18: 4 Cast Sun 5/20: Wayne Allen 4 to 7

WiFi Available Here

OPEN: M - TH 6a-2a / Fri 6a-2:30a / Sat 7a-2:30a / Su 7a-2a

HAPPY HR- M - F: 6-10a & 4-6p / Sa & Su: 10a-Noon COME CHECK OUT OUR NEW MENU.. PREPARED SPECIALLY FOR YOU BY OUR NEW COOKS !! **Lot of our customers favorites also still on the menu!

BREAKFAST SERVED

7 Days A Week!

Mon - Fri from 6 - 10a Sat & Sun 7-11am Coffee 75¢ w/Meal

May 2018

Deb’s Homemade Sausage Gravy & Biscuits

1/2 Order Only $3.25 HOMEMADE Lunch Special 11am - 2pm Friday Nite Fish FRY 4 - 7pm ONLY $7.75

Join Today to support the Blues in the Chippewa Valley and all around! www.chippewavalleyblues.com my putting perfect. With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous."

"And there's bad news?" asked the Pope.

"Yes," Nicklaus sighed. "I lost by three strokes to Rabbi Woods."

HEY.. STICK AROUND Four men played golf together for two years. At the conclusion of the games, three of the men always showered together and then had a few drinks at the bar.

The fourth man would hurry home. One day one of the trio asked the fourth man, "Listen, how come you never stick around?"

The fourth man looked uncomfortable. "All right, I'll tell you. I don't stay because I don't want to shower with you. I'm embarrassed because my tool is very small."

The other man asked, "Does it work?"

"Sure, it works very well."

"Well, how would you like to trade it for one that looks good in the shower?"

ARJ BARKER: FRIENDS WITH KIDS I only have, like, three really good friends, and they get worse every year. And its gotten to the point where I think they’d rather hang out with their own kids than hang out with me.

I’m like, “Alright, but really, where’s the loyalty, man? I’ve known you for 25 years. How long have you known your baby -- like a month? Alright, Judas, whatever.

Share Flowers on May 1st!

HERE’S TO HEALTH Sip Oolong Tea Research suggests that people with mild eczema who drink oolong tea three times a day may show improvement in itching and other symptoms. Compounds in the tea called polyphenols appear to be responsible.

Get a Good Pair of Sneakers Is your energy lagging? Though it may be the last thing you feel like doing when you're tired, exercise -- even a brisk walk -- can be more effective than a nap or cup of coffee at fighting fatigue.

2007 3rd St. Eau Claire, WI 715.832.9508 OPEN DAILY 6a - CL Ultimate Bloody Mary Sundays 6a - 6p ** Only $5 Loaded

Happy Mother’s Day! Sundays: EMM Teas “Delicious!”6pm - CL $5 -EVERY THURSDAYFREE JUKE BOX MUSIC EVERYBODY WINS @ BIG T’S

12

Rolly ’ s

A LTO O N A - E AU C L A I R E PA G E M AY 2 0 1 8 C O V E R S T O R Y

Lake Hallie Golf Chippewa Falls, (Lake Hallie) WI

By Dyzzi Baker (Continued from page 9)

If you are hungry and wondering where to go today please check out Hallie Golf for their delicious Full Menu served 3pm-9pm Wednesday through Sunday.

Leave your pretenses and worries back in the parking lot. At Hallie Golf it is casual, cozy and cordial

dining and drinking. Check out their lovely clubhouse and enjoy their time-honored sports bar atmosphere and comfortable, casual dining that features four large flat-screens, HDTVs and a total Audio/Visual feast, as they pipe in the sound to you in stereo over an awesome sound system.

Simply Put: Great food. Great fun, Great specials.

Lake Hallie Golf serves up generous portions of your favorite foods, along with huge portions of friendly-yet-efficient

VFW POST 305 1300 Starr Ave. Eau Claire, WI 715-552-8438 Breakfast Served 7 Days A Week 7am - 11am Lunch Served Mon - Fri 11am - 1pm

FRI FISH FRY - 4 to 8pm - Choice of Potato, Cole Slaw or Cottage Cheese, Texas Toast OR... 10 pc Hand Battered Shrimp Also Available 1/2 PRICED APPETIZERS - FRI From 4 to 6pm 2 D A I LY S P E C IA L S F O R B REAKFAST & LUNCH Daily Happy Hour NOW... Mon - Fri: 7-10a & 3-6p DAILY DRINK SPECIALS

VOLLEYBALL & BEAN BAG LEAGUES NOW FORMING ENTERTAINMENT: EVERY THU & FRI: Karaoke @9pm

SAT May 5 - Live Music w/40 Fingers 8p-12a SAT May 12 - Live Music w/Rockabilly Riot 8p-12a SAT May 19 - Live Music w/Larry's Drifters 8p-12a

May 2018

service — all at great prices. Stop into to enjoy appetizers from Beer Battered Chicken Bites (Tappers) to Wings, Onion Rings, Nachos, Chips & Salsa and Curds to Spinach & Artichoke Dip and Prime Bites. Or check out their Salads for a healthier option from your Chef and Chicken to a Chicken Caesar or Taco or maybe healthy isn’t in the cards today..

Then what about a delicious juicy Smoky, California, Mushroom and Swiss Burger or Patty Melt?

You can even build your own burger at Lake Hallie Golf or have a sandwich or wrap from a Philly Cheese Steak, Buffalo Chicken, BLT or Chicken or Club.

Dino and Dave have been fortunate to have great staff and have employed up to 49 staff members during their peak periods. Stop in to meet Melissa Burt who from day one has been their Bar and Restaurant Manager.

She is invaluable to Dino and Dave and is very much appreciated for everything she does (which really is everything) Talented Chef Trent Rothstein has been with Hallie Golf for over four years. He has worked in every aspect of the kitchen and since moving into top chef position, has done an outstanding job. Superintendent John Haug who has been on staff for the past 30 years at the Golf Course.

(Continued on page 14) Pro Shop

Coach Club WiFi Available 2339 Spooner Ave.

Altoona, WI 715-832-4120

Open: 10am-Cl All Week!

1411 Spooner Ave. Altoona, WI 715-834-6226

Stop in for the

NASCAR RACES and enjoy our

Drink Specials during the race!

Join Us for Good Times!

OPEN @ 10am 7 Days A Week!

Daily Lunch Specials 10a-4p Nightly Drink Specials!

Karaoke Wed & Sat 9p-CL Happy Hour: M-F 10a - 6p & Sat 3-6p 228 Division St. Altoona, WI715-552-5526

13

M AY 2 0 1 8 C O V E R S T O R Y

Lake Hallie Golf Chippewa Falls, (Lake Hallie) WI

By Dyzzi Baker (Continued from page 9)

If you are hungry and wondering where to go today please check out Hallie Golf for their delicious Full Menu served 3pm-9pm Wednesday through Sunday.

Leave your pretenses and worries back in the parking lot. At Hallie Golf it is casual, cozy and cordial dining and drinking. Check out their lovely clubhouse and enjoy their time-honored sports bar atmosphere and comfortable,

Foster Bar & Grill Open Daily: Mon - Sun 10am Kitchen Till 12am

Sign Up ...

For Summer Horseshoes & Volleyball Think Spring!!!!

Call (715)828-7653 or stop at bar

S12800 US Hwy 53 - Foster

715-597-6627

casual dining that features four large flat-screen, HDTVs and a total Audio/Visual feast, as they pipe in the sound to you in stereo over an awesome sound system.

Simply Put: Great food. Great fun, Great specials.

Hallie Golf serves up generous portions of your favorite foods, along with huge portions of friendly-yet-efficient service — all at great prices. Dino and Dave have been fortunate to have great staff and have employed up to 49 staff members during their peak periods. Stop in to meet Melissa Burt who from day one has been their Bar and Restaurant Manager.

She is invaluable to Dino and Dave and is very much appreciated for everything she does (which really is everything) Talented Chef Trent Rothstein has been with Hallie Golf for over four years. He has worked in every aspect of the kitchen and since moving into top chef

EAU CLAIRE - FOSTER- MENOMONIE position, has done a outstanding job. Superintendent John Haug who has been on staff for the past 30 years at the Golf Course, and please welcome PGA Professional Troy Timm to their hardworking and fabulous staff. Troy is formerly from Spring Valley, WI and spent 11 years as an Assistant/Head Pro at a golf course in a suburb of Houston, TX. He graduated from the University of Wisconsin in 2005.

He then moved to San Diego, CA to attend the Golf Academy. Troy will be offering golf lessons to adults and children alike just please call to schedule him ahead of time. He will also put together a PGA League Jr. Golf Team and have Junior Golf Camps during the summer.

Top that? Not around here!

Unless you like homemade pizza,.then they’ve got you covered – and will cover your pizza with your favorite toppings!

Also check out their Wednesday 2 for 1 Burgers, Thursday & Friday Fabulous Fish Fry, piping hot baked or batter-fried Icelandic cod loins and enjoy their World Famous Walleye: which is either

GIROLAMO’S COURT’n HOUSE Saturday...

Check out our..

NIGHTLY SPECIALS Spring Drink Menu and Our..

Sun - Sat 20 Rotating Tap Lines 5 - 9p 1113 W. Grand Ave. Eau Claire, WI 715-832-5478 Book Your Next Event @ Our SideBar on Grand!

May 2018

Pan fried or beer battered.

(Offered Saturday also if any is left from Friday nights) or try Steak or Ribs that Dave says, ‘Are to DIE for!’. Saturday (Continued on page15) Book your Next Event at Lake Hallie Golf Course!

715-235-1166 2100 Cty Rd. B Menomonie, WI (off I-94)

Open Daily 5am - Midnight HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT OUR BAKERY LATELY? We offer a Full Line of..

HOMEMADE PIES, CINNAMON ROLLS, COOKIES, TURNOVERS and a rotating variety of other DELICIOUS BAKED GOODS Stop in or call us at 715-235-1166 to see what we have today!

14

ELMWOOD - DURAND - MENOMONIE OSSEO - WABASHA PAGE 50819 West St, Osseo, WI (715) 597-1828 See daily and monthly specials ..

www.northwoodsbrewpub.com or on facebook!

Open T- Sa 11a - Cl *Open again Mondays starting May 28

Serving Lunch, Dinner, & Drinks LIVE ENTERTAINMENT Classic Country Jam w/Bear Creek Boys on first WED of every month Open Mic w/Brian Bethke from 7 to 10p on all other WED's Live Music every FRI from 5:30 to 8:30p

Wednesday Night Special 2 for 1's 7-9 pm

NEW FOOD SPECIAL: Everyday from 11a-7pm Burger & Fries ONLY $5 Mother’s Day Breakfast Buffet 8 am to 11:00 am!!

Moms eat FREE with purchase of another buffet!! **Mimosa and Bloody Mary bar 715-639-5000 109 N. Main St. Elmwood, WI

WABASHA VFW Post 4086 Open 11am To Close 7 Days A Week

138 2nd. St. E. Wabasha, MN Phone: (651) 565-4766 MAY ENTERTAINMENT

- FRI May 4 Live Music w/Bear Creek Band from 8 to Midnight - SAT May 26 Live Music w/Sisters & Co from 8 to Midnight - TUE May 29 Red Cross Blood Drive from 1pm to 7pm

May 2018

Dino and Dave offer an open menu or steak specials and Sunday stop in for their open menu and stop in often or check their website (https://www.lakehalliegolf.com) for when they are offering stuffed seafood haddock.. ooohhhh sooo good and offered as a special monthly item only!

Hallie Golf also offers golf leagues; Monday Night Scramble, Tuesday couples league.

Wednesdays is men’s 9 or 18 holes, Thursday’s is women’s 9 holes. Lake Hallie offers. FREE golf on Father’s Day for all of you dad’s out there (with one paid course fee) and on Memorial Day and Labor Day Veterans can also play for FREE! Check out Hallie Golf today for great food.. even better service with a smile.. a beautiful 18 hole front 9 and back 9 course of 5,885 yards of golf from the longest tees, playing to a Par of 70. The course rating is 68.3 with a slope rating of 124 and is located along the picturesque banks of the Chippewa River and Lake Hallie. The course boasts unique and exciting fairway designs to encourage strategic, thought-provoking options.

Golfers encounter dramaticallyplaced tee boxes, the perfect balance of hazards, and scenery that keeps the course enjoyable for golfers of skill levels. Known as the number one option for a round of golf in Wisconsin's Chippewa Valley since it first opened in 1925, Dino and Dave and their staff are eager and working hard to revitalize the course and its amenities. The result is certainly a blend of tradition with a modern feel that make this a must-play Wisconsin Golf Course. Also join

them for Packer and Badger Day Specials, and on Thursday, June 14th 2018 please mark your calendar and call ahead to book your four person team for the first ever Wisconsin Veterans Home Golf Outing hosted at Hallie Golf.

It is hoped that $5,000 or more can be raised at this event for our local Veteran’s Home! The cost is only $75 per player and this includes a lunch, dinner, golf and prizes.

Please sign up your foursome, single player or double players looking to join a team for a foursome or to sponsor a hole for $100 at the course today! We look forward to seeing you at Hallie Golf this season and throughout the year! It’s not a secret any longer.. And as always, Lake Hallie Golf is all about Friends, Fairways and Good Times…

QUOTABLE QUOTE "I found a strawberry blossom in a rock. I uprooted it rashly and felt as if I had been committing an outrage, so I planted it again."

- Dorothy Wordsworth HISTORIC COLUMBIA, SC For more than 250 years, Columbia SC has pushed itself and its people forward. From the Revolutionary War through the Civil Rights era and beyond, their collective struggles and rich history have resulted in a unique culture. Stroll through time..

Learn about previous incarnations of Columbia with neighborhood tours of Arsenal Hill, Cottontown and Old Shandon, or visit the historic homes and gardens of the city's early families. See damage caused by artillery shells by troops under Sherman's command,

MAY ENTERTAINMENT SUN May 6 - Corey Baier Benefit ATV Ride - Food & Raffles at Dean & Sue's 3p SUN May 6 - NO JAM *Due to Beatles on the Chippewa SUN May 13 - Bluegrass Jam w/Bluegrass Roundup Band from 6 to 9pm SUN May 20 - Classic Country Jam w/Sandy Kay from 6 to 9pm TUE May 22 - Old Time Music w/Top Notchmen from 1 to 4pm THU May 24 - Live Patio Music w/Hickory from 7 to 10pm SUN May 27 - NO JAM Memorial Wk End SUNDAY BLOODY MARY BAR 9A-2P

2002 Midway Rd, Menomonie, WI Phone:(715) 235-9940

Just 5 Miles N. of Menomonie, WI

MOTHER’S DAY BUFFET MAY 13TH! 9:00am - 4:00pm Adults $18.99 Children $8.99 Please RSVP Today!!

OPEN M & W, TH, F, S & SU Kitchen: Open till 10pm Nightly Friday Fish Fry: Baked, Lightly breaded, or Beer battered w/ Choice of side, salad or soup 3:30-10p SUNDAY’S BEST BRUNCH IN THE CHIPPEWA VALLEY!

10:00am-2:00pm

Please RSVP!

715.235.2465

4570 US Hwy 10 Durand, WI 715-672-5681 Sign up for beanbags and summer bowling leagues ..

Starting in June!

Try One.. of Club 10’s Delicious Homemade Pizza Available to eat in or take out!

15

May 2018 Grub & Pub Rep 40 pg REV 51_Layout 1 4/20/2018 2:12 PM Page 16

DOWNING - DURAND - ELMWOOD - ELSWORTH - OSSEO PG Open at 5am

Join our..

Mothers Day Buffet Reservations Appreciated!

Sunday, May 6th

Beatles on the Chippewa Noon to 9pm - FREE ADMISSION Over 70 regional musicians doing their renditions of the Fab Four to benefit Blues on the Chippewa!

318 W. Main St. Durand, WI (715)672-8874

& P i zza Plan et 2508 Hwy 12 - Woodville, WI 71 5 -698-2 90 7 Open 7 Days a Week 11-2am Join Us for the 2018 Syttende Mai Festival THU May 17 Live Music w/Trandy Blue FRI May 18 Live Music w/Blue Moon Drive SAT May 19 Live Music w/32 Below

MON & SAT: Free Pool FRI: Karaoke 9p-12a SUN: Happy Hour All Day! Happy Hour Mo - Th 8-10P -

Football Drink Specials 5 for 10$ Beers 5 for 12$ Rail

Join Us for..

Karaoke Every Friday Night at 9pm 305 W. Main St. Ellsworth, WI

715- 273 - 4223

May 2018

VERY EARLY SPRING "The fields are snowbound no longer; There are little blue lakes and flags of tenderest green.

The snow has been caught up into the sky-So many white clouds--and the blue of the sky is cold.

Now the sun walks in the forest, He touches the bows and stems with his golden fingers; They shiver, and wake from slumber.

Over the barren branches he shakes his yellow curls.

Yet is the forest full of the sound of tears....

A wind dances over the fields.

Shrill and clear the sound of her waking laughter, Yet the little blue lakes tremble And the flags of tenderest green bend and quiver."

- Katherine Mansifield, Q & A Q.What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old?

A. Aye matey.

SOME FAMOUS PEOPLE OF SOUTH CAROLINA - Julia Peterkin (1880-1961), novelist. She was the winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Scarlet Sister Mary in 1929. _Dizzy (John Birks) Gillespie (1917- ), jazz trumpeter.

-Joe Frazier (1944-), prize fighter.

He was heavyweight champion from 1970-1973.

-Jesse Jackson (1941- ), civil rights leader.

-Presidents from South Carolina with links to ipl2's POTUS (Presidents of the United States) page:Andrew Jackson (17671845), born in SC. See May Entertainment pg 38

JOIN US FOR..

Good Neighbor Days!

Friday June 1st - 3rd Music, Food and Fun

715-749-3891 112 W. Main St. Roberts, WI ‘Where Good Neighbors Meet’

Join Us at Sidetrack for Good Times!

RIVERBANKS ZOO & GARDENS OF SC Explore your inner wild child at Riverbanks, hands-down one of the nation’s prettiest zoos, and be swooped into the natural world on a campus easily maneuverable for even your youngest partygoer.

The 170-acre oasis for animals, plants and visitors alike is nestled along the banks of the Lower Saluda River and home to 2,000 animals in habitat as well as an ever-growing State Botanical Garden.

The zoo is ideally mapped out in eight landscaped districts: the African Savanna, the Aquarium Reptile Complex, the Birdhouse, the Farm, Gorilla Base Camp, Koala Knockabout, the Ndoki Forest and the Saluda Factory Interpretive Center.

May 13th is Mother’s Day!

SENIOR'S MEMORY TEST Read this to your 'older' friends, (Better known as Seniors.) It might keep them busy and help them forget their aches and pains for a few minutes.

Good Luck! THIS MAY BE HARDER THAN YOU MAY THINK. DON'T LOOK FOR THE ANSWERS UNTIL YOU HAVE TRIED TO FIGURE IT OUT. A TEST FOR US 'OLDER' KIDS. 01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man?

Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind?________________.

02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. In early 1964, we all watched them on

Open 365 Days a Year Mon-Fri @ 11am Sat & Sun @ 8:30am Breakfast KITCHEN OPEN 11a - 10p Daily *Serving Appetizers till Closing Music Sat. Nites!

We NEVER Close Early!

Guaranteed Last Call Every Day!

JOIN US.. May 12th..

11 Annual Brenda Cassellius - Wink Memorial Bike & Classic Car Run *Kick stands up at Noon 1 s t S at u r d a y o f m o n t h P r i m e R ib D i n n e r s e r ve d 5 - 9 p m

Best Friday Fish Fr y Around The Area 11a - 9p!

504 Main St. Downing, WI Phone# 715-265-7855

16

BLOOMER PAGE

BLOOMER AGLIME SERVICES

18 Hole Public Golf Course

For ALL Your Agriculture Needs

Wed: All-U-Can-Eat Wings Thurs: $2 Burgers & **Friday Night Fish Fry -p

14611 222nd Ave Bloomer, Wisconsin Call (715) 568-1174

JOIN US AT BLOOMER MEMORIAL GOLF COURSE THIS SPRING - FALL!

Open M-F @ 10am Sa-Su @ 9a

Bar & Grill Under New Ownership!

Cabin & pontoon rentals **Bait Sold Here!

The ____ ___________ Show.

03. 'Get your kicks, __ _________ _______.'

04. 'The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to _____ _ _____.'

05. 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ____ ____ ____ ____.'

06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the '_____.'

07. Nestle's makes the very best.... _________.'

08. Satchmo was America’s 'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was ______ ___________.

09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______.

10. Red Skeleton's hobo character was named ______ ___ ________ and Red always ended

118 E 13th Ave, Bloomer, WI his television show by saying, 'Good Night, and '________ ________ ' 11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their ______ _______.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by? ___ & _______.

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.' This was a tribute to _______ __________.

14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called __________.

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the ______ _____ . 16. Remember LS/MFT _____ _____/_____ _____

Phone: 715-568-1743 _____?

17. Hey Kids! What time is it?

It's _____ ______ _____!

18. Who knows what secrets lie in the hearts of men? Only The _____ Knows!

19. There was a song that came out in the 60's that was "a grave yard smash". Its name was the ______ ______!

20. Alka Seltzer used a "boy with a tablet on his head" as it's Logo/Representative. What was the boy's name? ________ (See answers on page 18) MORE SHORT JOKES 1. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?

“Make me one with everything.”

2. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?

Because they’re really good at it.

3. What is red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

JOIN US IN MAY.. WE ARE CELEBRATING SPRING! Mother’s Day Buffet May 13th *11am - 3pm Reservations Are Suggested 18982 State Hwy 124 Bloomer, WI

Phone# 715-288-6596

OPEN: Mon-Fri 11am-close Sat-Sun 10am-close Homemade Hot Beefs, Pizza & Deep Fried Items Available

May 2018

$14.99 Adults/ $5 for 10 yrs & under Prine Rib, Deep Fried Shrimp, Chicken & Rice Pilaf, Limited Salad Bar, Veggie, Roll & Dessert Located on the Corner of Hwy 40 & 64 2 PERSON BEAN BAG LEAGUE 19037 State Hwy 40 **Bloomer, WI Starts May 24th and runs for 6 weeks Website: www.back40wi.com on Thursdays @6pm https://www.facebook.com/back40wi *Rain Sleet Snow or Ice $10pp Phone# 715-568-4064 *Call or Stop at bar to sign up!

22056 Cty. Hwy AA Bloomer, WI (Just 1 Mile East of the Pines Ballroom)

Owned by: Charles W. Rufledt Phone: 715-568-4643 Fax: 715-568-5643 4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. Where does the General keep his armies?

In his sleevies!

6. Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

The don’t meet the koalafications.

7. A bear walks into a restaurant and say’s “I want a grilllllled… ……cheese.” The waiter says “Whats with the pause?”

The bear replies “Whaddya mean, I’M A BEAR.” 8. What do you call bears with no ears? B 9. Why dont blind people skydive?

Because it scares the crap out of their dogs.

1319 Main St. Bloomer 715-568-5420 Open 7 Days A Week @ 11a Check Out Our NEW...

Xpeditions COFFEE CO. & MARKET! Open: M - F 6a - 6p Sa 7a - 2a & Sun 8a - 1p

17

DID YOU KNOW South Carolina grows more peaches than any other state except California.

The state was the first to secede from the Union before the Civil War. There is a place called Table Rock State Park in the Blue Ridge Mountains. According to Indian legend, a gigantic chieftain dined at the "table" high above ordinary mortals.

B & L LIQUOR STORE 1369 Main Street Houlton Wisconsin *Your FIRST Stop In Wisconsin Open 365 Days A Year!

NEW HOURS M-W 1pm-8pm Th & F 9am-9pm Sa & Su 8am-9pm Phone: 715-549-6589 Best Selection of Fine Wines, Liquors & Specialty Beer in the Valley!

723 - 6th Street N. Hwy 35

North Hudson, WI 715.386.2205 OPEN D aily 7AM-2 AM **Full Menu/ Daily Specials Breakfast Daily

ST CROIX VALLEY, WI - LAS VEGAS, NV PAGE In 1830, the first U.S. Steam locomotive built for railroad use was put into service in the state.

SC was first settled by the Spanish in 1566 and later became an E nglish colony.

The first American library housed in a separate building was constructed in 1840 at the University of South Carolina in Columbia.

The oldest formal gardens in the U.S., Middleton Place, was founded in 1740 and took 100 people more than 10 years to complete. pst…Greetings from the St. Croix Valley! * Few things upon this Earth can bore us like the bull from some old Taurus! * Hooray, Hooray, the first of May! Outdoor loving starts today! * STUPID SPEAK: “Have a good one.”

Good one what? Bowel movement? * A street musician picked up his change and realized he had enough for a new violin put the money in his pockets and did somersaults. The change went

flying, passersby grabbed it and he ended up with nothing not even enough for a pint of ale.

And that’s the way of the world.

–P.S.Thatcher I saw an ant at work one day who had no time to stop and play or laugh or jest or dance or sing or any other pleasant thing so I stepped on it.

–author unknown SENIOR'S MEMORY TEST Answers from questons on pages 16 & 17 01.The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.

02. The Ed Sullivan Show 03. On Route 66 04.To protect the innocent.

05.The Lion Sleeps Tonight 06. The limbo 07. Chocolate 08. Louis Armstrong 09. The Timex watch 10. Freddy, The Freeloader and 'Good Night and God Bless.'

11. Draft cards (Bras were also burned. Not flags, as some have guessed) 12. Beetle or Bug 13. Buddy Holly 14. Sputnik

15. Hoola-hoop 16. Lucky Strike/Means Fine Tobacco 17. Howdy Doody Time 18. Shadow 19.Monster Mash 20. Speedy Read this to your 'older' friends, (Better known as Seniors.) It will drive them crazy! And keep them busy and let them forget their aches and pains for a few minutes.

Submitted By: Bert Engel Q&A Q. What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple?

A. They’re both red except for the green one.

Thank you for Reading the GnP!

*22 HD TVs /Gaming

50% off Select Bot. Of Wine - Wed

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One Block North of 1-94 & MN 95 Lakeland MN 651.436.5005 Dining Hours: M-T 11a-9:30p W 11a-10p /Th 8a-10p /Fri 8a-10:30p Sa 7:30a-10:30p / Sun 7:30a-9p HAPPY HOUR: MON -FRI 3-6PM

New...

Lombardi Room Non Smoking Featuring a 75” BIG Screen TV for your viewing pleasure!

Tues, May 1st Mouldy Figs 5-8!

May 2018

18

CHIPPEWA FALLS AREA MAP

AD PAGE #

EAU CLAIRE/ALTOONA/FOSTER AREA MAP

AD PAGE #

1ST & GOAL SALOON .....................................................................9

2

BURLY’S BAR ..................................................................................9

3

LINDA & DANS T & C .................................................................... 11

4

FOUR CORNERS ......................................................................... N/A

5

LEROY’S BAR ...................................................................................9

7

SCHEMBODA'S ................................................................................6

8

CHEERS BAR & GRILL ....................................................................7

9

BLUE MARBLE PUB L.L.C. ........................................................... 10

10

DALE & MARY'S RITZ ON THE RIVER .............................................8

11

WEST HILL BAR & GRILL ................................................................7

12

BIG T'S SALOON ............................................................................ 12

THE EDGE PUB & EATERY...............................................................8

13

FOSTER BAR ................................................................................. 14

13

LOOPY’S ...........................................................................................7

14

GOLDEN SPIKE ............................................................................. 13

14

WANDER INN ................................................................................ 10

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9

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15 16 19 20 22 23

29 E. PARK AVE. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-7822 19 E. CANAL ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 720-9148

8685 ST. HWY. 124, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-2709 14982 HWY S CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-6783

24 WEST SPRING ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 720-0976 12942 100TH AVE. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-0131

19845 HWY X, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 861-3223

816 NORTH HIGH STREET, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 861-5473 114 W. RIVER ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (534) 220-7020

250 WEST ELM ST, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 720-9281

9504 COUNTY HWY S., CHIPPEW FALL WI • (715) 723-2400

10691 90TH AVE. (BUS. 29) CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-5667 • www.723loop.com

6020 CTY RD X CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 874-5590

RIVER INN BAR & GRILL .................................................................6

10418 CTY HWY X CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-9481

BRESINA'S BAR & RESTAURANT ...................................................6

HWY B TILDEN, WI • (715) 288-6303

3D FITNESS................................................................................... 40

616 N. BRIDGE ST., CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI 54729• (715) 220-7027

3

13 W. CENTRAL STREET, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-4848

4

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

6

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

LAKE HALLIE AREA MAP 1

AD PAGE #

EAGLES CLUB AERIE 2213 ......................................................... 11 2588 U.S. HWY 53 LAKE HALLIE, WI • (715) 723-0172

2 3 5 6

7 14

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

16

LAKE HALLIE SPORTSMAN’S CLUB ............................................ 11

17

LAKE HALLIE GOLF COURSE ..........................................................8

19

TIM'S SLIM'S LAKE HALLIE TAVERN ........................................... 11

23

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

2910 109TH ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 726-1050

2196 110TH ST, CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 861-5442

Y1979 CTY. HWY 00, CHIPPEWA FALLS (LAKE HALLIE), WI • (715) 832-9303

OUT OF STATE 1

1 2

THE SNOUT SALOON .................................................................. N/A

24

AD PAGE #

RUM RUNNER (MAIN LOCATION) ................................................ 18

BRICK HOUSE............................................................................... 14

2233 BIRCH ST., EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 832-6227

MORGAN MUSIC .......................................................................... 37

2405 E. CLAIREMONT AVE, EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 834-7177 www.morganmusiconline.com

ROLLY’S COACH CLUB ................................................................. 13

2339 SPOONER AVE. ALTOONA, WI • (715) 832-4120

SPEED OF SOUND ........................................................................ 37

2113 BIRCH ST., EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 839-8021

VFW POST 305 ............................................................................. 13

1300 STARR AVE, EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 552-8438

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

400 CLUB ..................................................................................... 13

1411 SPOONER AVE., ALTOONA WI • (715) 834-6226

VFW POST 7232 ........................................................................... 12

2900 W. FOLSOM ST, EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 832-3528 2007 3RD ST, EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 832-9508

12800 HWY. 53, OSSEO (FOSTER), WI • (715) 597-6627

228 DIVISION STREET, ALTOONA, WI • (715) 552-5526

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

EAST-CENTRAL AREA MAP

312 N. BRIDGE, ST., CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI • (715) 723-3800 405 GRAHAM AVE., EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 514-3110

ROOKIES PUB ..................................................................................9

GIROLAMO’S COURT N’ HOUSE .................................................. 14

113 W. GRAND AVE. EAU CLAIRE, WI • (715) 832-5478

27

AD PAGE #

CORNER BAR..............................................................................

BAR N/A

200 N MAIN ST., MERRILLAN, WI • (715) 333-2028

NEILLSVILLE AMERICAN LEGION ................................................ 24

#6 BOON BLVD. NEILLSVILLE, WI • (715) 743-3859

BIG STREET BAR .......................................................................... 32

N3063 KING ST., HUMBIRD, WI • (715) 964-1401

OTTER LAKE BAIT ......................................................................... 26

16488 CTH H STANLEY, WI • (715) 644-0609

BEHIND BARR'S ........................................................................... 23

N9302 CTY HWY G & O GREENWOOD, WI • (715) 267-6733

FUNTE'S BAR & GRILL ................................................................. 23

215 S. MAIN ST., GREENWOOD, WI • (715) 267-7599

DOC'S BUNKHOUSE ................................................................... N/A

N11702 ELKER RD, MERRILLAN, WI • (715) 964-8010 docsbunkhouse@gmail.com

YOUR LOCATION HERE ............................................................... N/A

YOUR ADDRESS., CITY, WI • PHONE NUMBER

LOW RIDERS TAVERN & PAVILION .............................................. 24

N2472 HWY 95, NEILLSVILLE, WI • (715) 743-2422

THE TWILITE ZONE ....................................................................... 23

309 N. BROADWAY STANLEY, WI • (715) 644-2340

DOUBLE D SALOON ...................................................................... 23

505 E. MURRAY ST. BOYD, WI • (715) 667-3441

DARLINGS GIFTS .......................................................................... 27 HWY. 10, OSSEO, WI • (715) 597-5683 & 51 S. HAZELHURST, WI • (715) 358-5683

TOMMY'S HILLTOP........................................................................ 27 W2860 US HWY 10, GRANTON, WI • (715) 238-7852

1801 E. TROPICANA, LAS VEGAS NEVADA

CALL DYZZI TO ADVERTISE IN ONE OF THESE PRIME SPOTS!

715.456.7518

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Hudson

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Mindoro

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Black River Falls

Melrose

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Alma Center

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Fairchild

155

Northfield

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Ettrick

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Jim Falls

Osseo

178

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Cornell

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Ladysmith

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WI Dells Broadway

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Madison St.

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Pray 1

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Hard

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Mondovi

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Eau Claire

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Gilman

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Wabasha, MN

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Houlton

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Conrath

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Ladysmith

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OO

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Lake Hallie

312 Bypass

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30th Ave

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Melby St.

-5 Bus

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Make money using the internet today!! Go to : www.talkfusion.com . Click on the white arrow or the product tab for a short preview or call Dyzzi @ 715-456-7518 to schedule FREE! No Hassle! Learning Session.

T

14

26 24 Osseo

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Fall Creek

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17

Ellsworth

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Bayport, MN

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Webb Lake

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90th St.

Rudolph Rd.

Pearl St

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Park Ave.

109th St.

3rd St.

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110th St.

th S

Starr Ave

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MENOMONIE AREA MAP 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

10

12 14 18 19 20 21

23 24

NORTHERN AREA MAP

AD PAGE #

PUMP HOUSE ............................................................................... 16

1

UP-CHUCK'S ................................................................................. 25

2

CORRAL BAR AND RIVERSIDE GRILL ......................................... 16

3

504 MAIN ST., DOWNING, WI • (715) 265-7855

120 W. MAIN ST., ARCADIA, WI 54612• 608-323-9907

318 W. MAIN ST., DURAND, WI • (715) 672-8874 www.corralbarandriversidegrill.com

THE HUB........................................................................................ 16

305 W. MAIN ST., ELLSWORTH, WI • (715) 273-4223

CLUB 10 ............................................................................................ 15

W4570 US HWY 10, DURAND, WI • (715) 672-5681

EXIT 45 RESTAURANT AND BAKERY .......................................... 14

2100 CTY RD. B, MENOMONIE, WI • (715) 235-1166

SIDETRACKS SALOON & GRILL ................................................... 16

112 W. MAIN ST., ROBERTS, WI 54023• www.sidetracksaloon.com

NORTHWOODS BREWPUB........................................................... 15

4 6

7

9 10

14611 222ND AVE., BLOOMER, WI • (715) 568-1174

XPEDITIONS ................................................................................. 17

1319 MAIN ST. BLOOMER, WI • (715) 568-5420

SOMERSET PUB ......................................................................... N/A

967 28 1/8 STREET #7, CHETEK, WI • (715) 859-2271

R-BAR & RED PINES CAMGROUND .............................................. N/A

1190 - 25TH ST. CAMERON, WI • (715) 859-6556

THE RUT ........................................................................................ 30

N705 COUNTY RD M, COUNTY ROAD D, SARONA, WI • (715) 354-3250

MYSTIC GRILL............................................................................. N/A

23583 CTT GWT SSM BEW AYBYRB, WI • (715)0237-2500

HOOT'S ON THE WATER................................................................ 31

2091 22 1/2 AVE., RICE LAKE, WI • (715) 475-1300

BLOOMER MEMORIAL GOLF COURSE ....................................... 17

118 E. 13TH AVE., BLOOMER, WI • (715) 568-1743

50819 WEST STREET, OSSEO, WI • (715) 597-1828

16

THE ADVENTURE .......................................................................... 31

106 W. MAIN ST., DURAND, WI • (715) 672-3640

20

MIKE & ELLIE'S SHADY CAMPGROUND AND POOR FOLKS SALOON ......................................................... 31

ROOSTER TAIL ............................................................................ N/A BOO'Z BAR & GRILL ................................................................... N/A

414 MAIN STREET, KNAPP, WI • (715) 665-2215 www.facebook.com/BoozBarandGrill

2883 17-3/4TH ST., RICE LAKE, WI • (715) 234-7339 www.shadyrest@centurytel.net

KERNS KURBSIDE BAR & GRILL ................................................ 15

21

HILLTOP BAR & GRILL ............................................................... N/A

24

RIVERVIEW LANES ....................................................................... 25

25

JAKE'S SUPPER CLUB.................................................................. 15

27

UNCLE SAMS ................................................................................ 25

31

109 N. MAIN ST., ELMWOOD, WI • (715) 639-5000

2508 HWY. 12, WOODVILLE, WI • (715) 698-2907 634 W. MAIN ST., ARCADIA WI • (608) 323-7005

E5690 CTY RD C, MENOMONIE, WI • (715) 235-2465

309 W. MAIN ST., ARCADIA, WI • (608) 323-7USA (7872)

CHERI & LARRY'S FOOLISH PLEASURE BAR ............................. 25

114 - 5TH AVE. STRUM, WI • (715) 695-3687

DEAN & SUES BAR & GRILL ........................................................ 15

2251 CTY SS, RICE LAKE, WI • 715-719-0669

32 34

CORNER PIT STOP........................................................................ 17

18982 STATE HWY 124, BLOOMER, WI • (715) 288-6596

LINCOLNWOOD RESORT BAR AND GRILL .................................. 30

N1075 EAST SIDE RD., BIRCHWOOD, WI • (715) 354-3533 www.lincolnwoodresort.com

AARON'S HAPPY HOUR BAR ....................................................... 31

601 S. MAIN ST., RICE LAKE, WI • (715) 234-6165

SPIDER LAKE SALOON ................................................................. 30

N2586 SPIDER LAKE TRAIL, BIRCHWOOD, WI • (715) 354-3723

WAGON WHEEL ............................................................................ 30 MAIN ST., BRILL, WI • (715) 234-1823

MICKEY'S ...................................................................................... 26

N5399 WALNUT ST, TONY, WI • (715) 532-7598

FIRESIDE BAR & GRILL ............................................................. N/A

W12745 FIRESIDE LAKE RD., NEW AUBURN WI• (715) 868-1172

2002 MIDWAY RD., MENOMONIE, WI • (715) 235-9940

ST. CROIX AREA MAP SOUTHERN AREA MAP 1

2 3 4

5 6 7 8 9

10 12 13

15 16 17

AD PAGE #

CEDAR BAY RESORT .................................................................... 17

AD PAGE #

BEV’S SADDLE MOUND TAP ........................................................ 35

1 5

N 8376 PRAY RD, PITTSVILLE, WI (IN PRAY A TOWN OF CITY POINT) • (715) 884-7355

6

N9261 ST. HWY 108, MINDORO, WI • (608) 857-3436

8

RUMORS BAR............................................................................. N/A JOE & LINDA’S FIRST & LAST CHANCE....................................... 33

AD PAGE #

B & L LIQUOR STORE ................................................................... 18

1369 MAIN ST., HOULTON, WI • (715) 549-6589

THE BUNGALOW INN .................................................................... 18

1151 RIVERCREST RD N, LAKELAND, MN • (651) 436-5005

THE VILLAGE INN SPORTS BAR & GRILL .................................... 18

723 - 6TH ST. N., HWY. 35 HUDSON, WI • (715) 386-2205

WABASHA VFW POST 4086 ........................................................ 18

138 2ND ST. E., WABASHA, WI • (651) 565-4766

HWY 27 SOUTH BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-3121

SUNSET TAVERN ........................................................................... 39

N5890 HWY 54 BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-9345

DONNA K'S BAR & FAMILY DINER .............................................. 38

44 MAIN ST., BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 670-0303 www.facebook.com/Donna K's and Family Diner

HOLCOMBE AREA MAP 1

KRAZY K'S SALOON ...................................................................... 29

2

CORNER PUB................................................................................ 29

3

15793 WEST 1ST ST. ETTRICK, WI • (608) 525-7171 22833 N. MAIN ST. ETTRICK, WI • (608) 525-4863

DWYER'S MY SECOND HOME ...................................................... 32

13272 MAIN ST., PIGEON FALLS, WI • (715) 983-5664

FREDDIES ..................................................................................... 35

4 5

N 625 NORTH BEND DR., MELROSE, WI • (608) 488-5823

7

2625 HIDEAWAY DR., BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-2580

9

HIDEAWAY TAVERN .................................................................... N/A COZY CORNER ............................................................................ N/A

43 MAIN ST., BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-2651

BLACK RIVER POWER SPORTS ....www.blackriverpowersports.com ......... 39 W10120 STATE HWY 54 E., BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI • (715) 284-2600 FAX (715) 284-2055

10

16

WAUGHTAL MOTOR SALES .......................................................... 37

17

JC’S PIZZA & PUB ........................................................................ 37

18

BURR OAK AUTO BODY ................................................................ 37

19

206 N. WASHINGTON ST., MELROSE, WI • (608) 488-3911

N378 ST HWY 108 MELROSE, WI *3 MILES S. OF MELROSE

W2606 DAVIS CREEK RD., MELROSE, WI • (608) 857-3880

AD PAGE #

BIG T'S NORTH ............................................................................. 29

116 MAIN ST., CORNELL, WI • (715) 239-6677

BIG SWEDES RESORT .................................................................. 29

840 HWY 27 HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 456-7518 • www.bigswedes.com

FLATER’S RESORT...................................................................... N/A

N270 CTY E. HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 595-4771 • ZZZ ÁDWHUVUHVRUW FRP

TJ'S TIMBERLINE .......................................................................... 29

1189 N. POTATO LAKE, CHETEK, WI • (715) 353-2238

BOGIE'S BAR .............................................................................. N/A

HWY E, HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 595-4710

ENTWOOD GOLF COURSE............................................................ 28

28135 290TH AVE., HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 595-4035

JIMMY'S WORLD........................................................................... 26

N1745 RANGELINE RD., CONRATH, WI • (715) 532-0637 CELL (715) 403-3867

COOKIE'S HOLCOMBE INN .......................................................... 28

27575 -0263RD AVE., HOLCOMBE, WI • (715) 595-4092

5TH QUARTER BAR ...................................................................... 28

108 W. MINER AVE., LADYSMITH, WI • (715) 532-7757

CHIPPEWA RIVER CAMPGROUND ............................................N/A

23780 STATE HWY. 178, CORNELL, WI

JIM'S SHADY NOOK ...................................................................... 28

16061 - 296TH ST, CORNELL, WI • (715) 667-3878

PEACOCK’S BAR & GRILL..........................................................N/A

W8380 COUNTY HWY D, CONRATH, WI • (715) 532-6888

STANLEY - BOYD - GREENWOOD PAGE Open 7 Days A Week11am - CL

*Full Bar *Video Poker *Pool *Darts .. WiFi Available!

Like Us on FB! 309 N. Broadway - Stanley, WI DOUBLE STANDARDS (1) Isn’t it weird that in America, our flag and our culture offend so many people, but our benefits don’t?

(2) How can the federal government ask U.S. citizens to pay back student loans - when illegal aliens are receiving a free education?

(3) Only in America are legal citizens labeled “racists” and “Nazis,” but illegal aliens are called “Dreamers” (4) Some Liberals say, “If confiscating all guns saves just one life, it’s worth it.” Well, then, if deporting all illegals saves just one life, wouldn’t that be worth it?

(5) I can’t quite figure out how you can proudly wave the flag of

715-644-2340 another country, - but consider it punishment to be sent back there.

(6) The Constitution: It doesn’t need to be rewritten, - it needs to be reread.

(7) William F. Buckley said: “Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other points of view, and are then shocked and offended when they discover there are other points of view.”

(8) Joseph Sobran said: “‘Need’ now means wanting someone else’s money. ‘Greed’ means wanting to keep your own.

‘Compassion’ is when a politician arranges the transfer Submitted By: Tom Golden

Source: May Mystical World Wide Web

Q & A Q. What do the movies titanic and the sixth sense have in common. A. Unfortunetly Icy dead people.

Homemade Pizza Fresh Daily

Friday Fish Fry

Join Our Pizza Club

All-U-Can-Eat WINGS

(Ask Bartender for Details)

Wed All Day & Night

Taco Tuesdays

Join Us For Great Food & Entertainment SATURDAYS - DJ / KARAOKE with Best Sound & Lights 9pm 505 E. Murray St. Boyd, WI

715-667-3441

Denny & Deb Zais Owners

215 S. Main St. Greenwood, WI 715-267-7599

Join Us For..Wraps, Salads, Burgers, Specialty Burgers & Homemade Pizza Happy Hour: Tues - Fri 3-6p HOURS: Tues - Fri: 11-CL, Sat: 1p - CL, Sorry Closed Mondays All Year

Tuesday 3pm - CL 5 shorties $5 & $2 burgers Bud & Bud Light STAND IN LINE Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch.

Bartender says "Pal, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line" Guy looks around, but there is no punch line.

Happy Mother’s Day.. thank you for all you do!

Served All Day Sat & Sun(s) Stop in and check out our NEW MENU Items!

(that means I talk down to people)

Open 7 Days A Week 10am - CL

BAR & GRILL

Home of the ‘Breakfast’ Bloody Mary

I've been told I'm condescending.

Double D Saloon D Bar & Grill

May 2018

ABOUT THE MONTH OF MAY "The name for the month of 'May' has been believed to derive from 'Maia', who was revered as the Roman 'Goddess of Springtime, of Growth and Increase', and the mother of 'Mercury', the winged messenger of the Gods.

Yet this is disputed as before these deities featured in mythology the name 'Maius' or 'Magius', taken from the root 'Mag', meaning the 'Growing month' or 'Shooting month' was used."

FUN TE’S

You Gotta Try Our..

Fabulous Fish Fry Hours of Service: Open 6 Days A Week @ 11a CLOSED TUESDAYS Kitchen Open until 9pm (Most Days) HAPPY HOUR: 3-6pm *Monday - Thursday (Located midway between Greenwood & Willard at Cty Hwys G & O Crossroads)

N9302 Cty Rd. O Greenwood, WI Phone # 715-267-6733

Fridays 11a-9p STOP IN “Voted" Best Fish Fry" by our customers.

MAY EVENTS & HOURS: May 5th: Cinco de Mayo......

Chimichanga & Margarita special

Open Mothers Day 11 am - close.

“Mothers Day Dinner Special” Serving 11 - 9 *Mimosas & Hors de ouvres Special

Open Memorial Day at 3 pm

Summer Wed. Bean Bag Leagues Forming Now

23

NEILLSVILLE PAGE

Open at 10a *7 Days a Week HAPPY HOUR SU - TH 4-6P Sunday Loaded Bloody $4 All Day & Night (Homemade)

- May 27th Better Than Good Enough Band 6-10pm N272 Hwy 95 Neillsville, WI 715-743-2422 IN GOD WE TRUST Mike and Yvonne were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they carefully watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were

both in very good health, largely due to Yvonne's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'

Mike asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,'

Monthly Events & Extras May 12-13: Boxing Event Monday, May 14: Steak Feed 1700-2000 Sunday, May 27: Breakfast 0830-1200 Monday, May 28: Memorial Day - Events as Planned & High Ground Honor Ride WEEKLY SPECIALS: Lunch Mon - Fri 1100-1300 Every Wednesday 1100-1300 Steak Sandwich Special Fridays 1700-2000 Plated Meals Friday Nite Legion Dinner

w/ Hooves, Beaks, Scales & Tails 1700-2000

May 2018

Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'

Mike looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth. 'What are the greens fees?' grumbled Mike.

'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied.

'You can play for free, every day.'

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch.

'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to Mike. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'

Mike looked around and nervously asked Yvonne 'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?'

'That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like and you will

never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!'

'No gym to work out at?' said Mike.

'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.

'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'

'Never again' Mike glared at Yvonne and said, 'You and your Frickin Bran Flakes. We could have been here ten years ago!'

Have A Happy Life And Give someone A Smile!

Submitted By: Jerry Torkelson DRIVEN NUTS A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.” Pirate says, “Arrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”

American Legion Post #73

MEETING DATES:

#6 Boon Blvd. Neillsville, WI

-Legion & Ladies Auxiliary 1st Monday Monthly 7pm

(Just off Hwy 10) Phone: 715-743-3859

OPEN TO THE PUBLIC JOIN US!

- Sons of the American Legion 2nd Monday Monthly 8pm -VFW 2nd Tuesday 7pm

Large & Small Banquet & Meeting Rms Available for Meetings & Parties

Check it out...Drink Cards Get a punch your 2nd - 8th drinks and get your 9th drink free!

Weekly Events Drink Happy Mon - Fri 1600-1900 Mondays & Thursdays Sheepshead @ 12:30

24

ARCADIA - STRUM PG

SPRING/SUMMER HOURS Tuesday-Friday 4-10 Saturday 3-10 Call for Open Bowling!

10 WEIRD PLACES IN SOUTH CAROLINA ARE AS STRANGE AS IT GETS SOURCE: http://www.onlyinyourstate.com/south-carolina/10weird-places-in-sc/

1. Mr. Crab is the icon and show stopper of Giant Crab Seafood Restaurant in Myrtle Beach, SC. We can all say that it sure does set this seafood restaurant apart from any other in the city! And, apart from that, it is just a little...odd.

Located at: 9597 N Kings Hwy, Myrtle Beach, SC 29572 2. Most likely the most photographed beach in South Carolina. Boneyard Beach is at the northeast of Bulls Island and is a three mile stretch of beach where hundreds of oak, cedar, and pine trees are scattered about. They have been bleached by the sun and saltwater after being caught in the changing shoreline of the island.

Although hauntingly beautiful, it is strikingly odd as well.

3. Eddie is touted as the "Biggest Kid In The World" and resides at Columbia's EdVenture Children's Museum. He is pretty normal looking, just extremely huge. I think it is quite strange to see a

child that big! Located at: 211 Gervais St, Columbia, SC 29201 4. Edisto Mystery Tree: No one knows who started this or where it came from, but this little tree has become the 'holder' of many zany and whimsical items. To me it seems it is or has become the opposite of a Christmas Tree...such as a "Summer Tree".

No matter the origins, it is just a little unusual that people would decorate a tree with flip-flops, beach chairs, etc. Located at the intersection of Hwy 174 and Botany Bay Rd. 5. Pumpkintown Opry: Don't get me wrong, the place itself is not odd. In fact, I heard they have some really good food and ice cream there. What is odd is that out front there is a giant pumpkin house'. I don't know about you, but it reminds me of the Old Woman who lived in a shoe...

6. The Peachoid - I think it’s a water tower.. and a giant peach!!

7. Dorchester, Built by Pilgrim missionaries in 1696, Dorchester was a bustling town until the Revolutionary War. It was held by the British for a while and then burned. What is left are a few ruins on a state park. It is so odd seeing a small scattering of ruins in the middle of a park and then realizing that it once was a large successful town.

8. UFO Welcome Center: This strange and unusual site is found in Bowman, SC. Some say it is laughable and some say it is laudable. I'm not going to debate

Monthly Birthday Party - 2nd Sat. @ 10:30pm *Join Us on YOUR Birthday! * GIFT CARD DRAWING

Fridays 4-7pm Open 6 Day’s a Week Monday - Saturday

11 4 5 t h Av e . S tru m, WI

May 2018

( 715) 695 - 3687

either one of those, but it is quite strange and unusual...

9. STumphouse Tunnel: It was meant to be a shortcut for the railway, but ended up being abandoned when the government cut funding. It then was picked up

by Clemson University as a place to grow, of all things, blue cheese!?! Now, it is maintained as a public park and visitors can go into the tunnel, but be careful, there are bats!

10. Slowly being eaten up by nature, the Mars Bluff Crater can still be seen, but barely. It is the place where a Mark-6, 8500 pound bomb was ACCIDENTALLY dropped. Thankfully, it didn't detonate, but the fact remains! And, so does the crater...Located at: Crater Rd, Mars Bluff, SC. (Note: It is private property. ) May 19th is Armed Forces Day!

UPCHUC K

S

120 W. Main St. Arcadia, WI (608) 323-9907 OPEN: M-Th Noon - 2am F & Sa 10am - 2:30am Sun 10am - 2am DAILY DRINK SPECIALS DJ Music: Th, Fri, & Sa 9-Cl (Safe Rides Available) SHORT HUMOR Two gold fish are in a tank.

One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?!”

Two soldiers are in a tank.

One looks at the other and says, “BLUBLUBBLUBLUBBLUB.” A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, “I can’t do this. I need water.” The man says, “I didn’t know dogs could talk.”

The horse says, “Me neither!”

UNCLE SAM’S OF ARCADIA Tues: Free soda, Dom Beer, or Rail Drink w/purchase of a Burger Bsk or any Dinner Wed: $0.50 Cent Wings (Check out our Flavors!) & FREE Pool Thurs: $1 OFF Stuffed Burgers (Made to order basket) Fri: Pizza & 6 Pk Dom Beer $20 Sat: $1.50 Busch Lights 12-8pm Happy Hr: T -F 2-6p Sun: $1.50 Busch Lights, $2 Dom Beers, Chips & Dip NEW EXPANDED MENU STOP IN & EAT WITH US!

Wounded Veterans Run Sat., May 19th Uncle Sam’s of Arcadia 309 W Main St. Arcadia, WI Reg 8am – 10am $15 per rider/ $10 per passenger Door Prizes, 50/50 drawing, Chinese Raffle, Food Stop Rid Rain or Shine Cars Welcome!

For more info contact: Skip 1-608-863-0171 or Uncle Sam’s Bar

NEW HOURS: Tues - Thru: 11am - CL, Fri: 6am - CL and Sat & Sun 10am - CL 309 W. Main St. Arcadia, WI

(608) 323-7USA (7872)

25

of Chippewa Falls, WI

POEM OF OLD "The year is ended, and it only adds to my age; Spring has come, but I must take leave of my home.

Alas, that the trees in this Easter garden, Without me, will still bear flowers."

- Su Ting, circa 700 CE

Send in your entry TODAY! Grub & Pub Report PO Box 473 Chippewa Fall, WI 54729!

SCARECROW As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.

But hay, it’s in my jeans.

Enter to Win Movie Tickets for Micon Theatres Chippewa Falls & Eau Claire, WI Theaters

March 2018 Winner

CAROL BOWE

MOVIE TRIVIA APRIL TRIVIA ANSWERS: 1. Tom Hardy 2. Keiko 3. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, & Slytherin 4. Abu 5. Annie MAY 2018 TRIVIA QUESTIONS 1. Who played Dracula in the 1931 vampire-horror film "Dracula"?

2. Who played the fictional anti hero Deadpool in the 2016 movie?

3. Which actor played the main character in the 1990 film "Edward Scissorhands"?

4. What movie did Elvis Presley first appear in?

5. Bruce Willis played a convict turned time traveler in what 1995 movie?

May 2018

GOOD THINGS TO KNOW Water and Aspirin...PLEASE READ! A cardiologist determined that heart attacks can be triggered by dehydration.

Good Thing To Know. From The Mayo Clinic. How many folks do you know who say they don't want to drink anything before going to bed because they'll have to get up during the night?

Heart Attack and Water Drinking one glass of water before going to bed avoids stroke or heart attack. Interesting.......

Something else I didn't know ....

I asked my Doctor why people need to urinate so much at night time.

Answer from my Cardiac Doctor: Gravity holds water in the lower part of your body when you are upright (legs swell). When you lye down and the lower body (legs and etc.) seeks level with the kidneys, it is then that the kidneys remove the water because it is easier. I knew you need your minimum water to help flush the toxins out of your body, but this was news to me.

Correct time to drink water...

Very Important. From A Cardiac Specialist!

Drinking water at a certain time

CONRATH - HOLCOMBE PAGE

Jimmy’s World Bar & Campground

N1745 Rangeline Rd. Conrath, WI Bar # 715-532-0637 / Cell # 715-403-3867 OPEN Great Fishing, Tubing, Canoeing right on Main Creek Noon - CL Laundry Facility, Camp Store, 18 Full RV Hook-up 7 Days a Week Sites & 54 Primitive Sites,Heated Shower House On ATV Trail We Have An... Apartment For Rent .. Call Today! maximizes its effectiveness on the body: 2 glasses of water after waking up - helps activate internal organs.

1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion.

1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure 1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack I can also add to this... My Physician told me that water at bed time will also help prevent night time leg cramps. Your leg muscles are seeking hydration when they cramp and wake you up with a Charlie Horse. Also many muscle aches and pains can be attributed to dehydration and so water throughout the day will actually help your muscles feel better.

Mayo Clinic on Aspirin - Dr. Virend Somers is a Cardiologist

from the Mayo Clinic who is the lead author of the report in the July 29, 2008 issue of the Journal of the American College of Cardiology.

Most heart attacks occur in the day, generally between 6 A.M. and noon. Having one during the night, when the heart should be most at rest, means that something unusual happened. Somers and his colleagues have been working for a decade to show that sleep apnea is to blame.

1. If you take an aspirin or a baby aspirin once a day, take it at night.

The Reason: Aspirin has a 24hour "half-life"; therefore, if most heart attacks happen in the wee hours of the morning, the Aspirin would be strongest in your system.

2. Aspirin lasts a really long time in your medicine chest – years!

Otter Lake Bait

16488 CTH H Stanley, WI 54768 Ph: 715-644-0609 Starting May 1st SUMMER HOURS: 7:00AM-7:00PM Daily HOURS SUBJECT TO CHANGE

WELCOME FISHERMEN AND WOMEN STOP IN CHECK OUT..

Rods, reels, combos, discounted bass baits and new for 2018... crappie & bluegill baits.

MINNOWS, LEECHES, WAXIES, WORMS, Ice, Automotive, propane 20lb and 30 lb, gas, COFFEE , HOT CHOC, CAPPUCCINO (NEW BUTTERFINGER FLAVOR ... Groceries, Snacks, Dairy, Soda, Beer, Liquor. ALSO CAMPFIRE WOOD FIND US ON FACEBOOK BUTCH AND KATHY KUESTER OWNERS

26

GRANTON - OSSEO - TONY PAGE (When it gets old, it smells like vinegar).

Please read on..

Something that we can do to help ourselves - nice to know. Bayer is making crystal aspirin to dissolve instantly on the tongue. They work much faster than the tablets.

Why keep Aspirin by your bedside?

It's about Heart Attacks - There are other symptoms of a heart attack, besides the pain on the left arm. One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as nausea and lots of sweating; however, these symptoms may also occur less frequently.

Note: There may be NO pain in the chest during a heart attack.

The majority of people (about 60%) who had a heart attack during their sleep did not wake up.

However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep. If that happens, immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water.. Afterwards: Call 911 or the number for area.or the Police Department if you do not have an emergency response number - Phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by. Say "Heart Attack!" Say that you have taken two Aspirins. - Take a seat on a chair or sofa NEAR the front door, and wait for their arrival and ........

DO NOT LIE DOWN! Submitted By Bert Engel

A BAG OF JOKES Did you hear the one about the fat alcoholic transvestite?

All he wanted is to eat, drink, and be Mary......

Memorial Day is May 28th

Remember Our Fallen!

I was in bed with a blind gal last night and she told me that I had the biggest tool that she had ever laid her hands on.

I told her "Your pulling my leg."

My girlfriend thinks that I am a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet........

Mickey’s Bar & Grill Open: Wed - Sun @ 11am Happy Hour: 4 - 6pm T-F 50cents OFF ALL Drinks!

Serving Full Menu till 10pm PIZZA ANYTIME! Try Our ..SPORTY BURGER

(715) 532-7598

N5399 Walnut St. Tony, WI

NEVER CRITICIZE Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.

You can smile now.. it’s Spring!

Q & A Q. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

A. Same middle name.

Q. What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

OMG! BREATHE! BREATHEE!

An old lady is being examined by a doctor. He asks "Have you ever been bedridden?"

She replies "Yes I have, and I've been table ended and backskuttled a few times, too."

Went for my routine checkup today and he stuck his finger up my butt. Do you think that I should change dentists??

Osseo: Open 9a -11p Sun-Thurs & 9a - 12a Fri - Sat Stevens Point & Hazelhurst: Open10a -11p Sun - Thurs & 10a -12a Fri -Sat

I just found out the Dyson ball cleaner isn't one. OUCH!!!!

San Francisco is considering outlawing circumcisions. I agree.

I hear that it was over a year before I could walk when I got mine.

How Long is a Chinese man’s name.

No, it actually is.

Submitted By: Kevin Stanton

NOW... BOOKING FOR THE WINTER CANCUN AND DOMINICAN VACATIONS Go to..

affordabledominicanvacations.com

May 2018

27

B L A C K R I V E R FA L L S - P R AY FEEDING THE EAGLES January of this year, 2011, the weather stayed so cold in St. Louis, Missouri and Alton, Illinois that the bald eagles were cruising over houses in hopes of a quick meal.

They could not access fish that were at the bottom of the river and had gathered together.

Some kind souls decided to feed the eagles so they would survive the cold spell.

They gathered fish and started feeding the group of eagles huddled on the shore.

The photos below show what happened.

A retired teacher took these photos in front of his home.

Incredible!

PG

Feeding the Eagles!

A beautiful morning feeding the eagles, Jan. 2011 Once the fish were thrown, the eagles did not seem to fear the good Samaritans and word spread fast!

WEIRD THINGS TO DO IN SC SOURCE: https://www.atlasobscura. com/things-to-do/south-carolina/

Eagles vying for the fish, January, No zoom lens used here!

28135 290th Ave. Holcombe, WI 715-595-4035 www.entwoodgolf.com email: golf@entwoodgolf.com

*Group Rates Available *Special Event Bookings *Children 11 & Under FREE! Bar Open 12:00 to 5:00 daily.

Golf as weather permits!!

www.entwoodgolf.com Senior discount on Mondays (65 and Older) $17.00 all day with cart Ladies day Fridays $7.00 Walk for 9 holes, $15.00 with cart 9 holes.

Open 7 days a week @ 7am FORMING LEAGUES FOR Tuesday and Thursday Night

May 2018

The photographer was this close! .Here are the men who were feeding them.

So close!!

As you know, it was not too long ago that the American Bald Eagle was an endangered species.

Amazing pictures --- please pass along!

Submitted By: Janice Carteron

(Ceck out website to see all 46 listed weird and wonderful thing to do in SC) JOHNS ISLAND, SOUTH CAROLINA: The Angel Oak Tree, The Southeast's oldest living organism.

CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA: Old Slave Mart South Carolina's last remaining slavery auction house is now a museum devoted to its own tragic history.

27575 263rd Ave. Holcombe WI 715-595-4092 FREE Pool Sundays!

Open: Noon - CL *7 Days A Week

COME WATCH THE BREWERS HERE AT COOKIE’S HOLCOMBE INN Happy Mothers Day, and Memorial Day! All Day.. BLOODY MARY Sunday: Bloody Marys w/ 12 Ingredients Only $4.50

108 W. Miner Ave. Ladysmith, WI 715-532-7757 Happy Hour: M-F 3-6pm ‘Hometown Bar for All’

BISHOPVILLE, SOUTH CAROLINA: Pearl Fryar's Topiary Garden - Extraordinary topiary garden built by one man in a small South Carolina town.

TRAVELERS REST, SOUTH CAROLINA: Poinsett Bridge The oldest bridge in South Carolina may have been designed by the same man who created the Washington Monument.

BOWMAN, SOUTH CAROLINA: UFO Welcome Center -This set of rickety spaceships are prepared to give

Jim’s

Shady Nook Resort (Located on Pike Lake)

*Bar * Restaurant *Cabins *Campground *Seasonal RV Sites Happy Hr: 4-7p M -Th OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 10a-CL Memorial Day Thru Labor Day FRIDAY FISH FRY Soup& Salad Bar 4-9p EVERY SATURDAY BBQ Pork Ribs & Smoked Prime Rib 4-9p 12oz.or 16oz.

Salad Bar w/

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK!

Happy Hour: Mon & Tues Op to CL & Wed-Fri 3- 6p

16061 296th St. Cornell, WI

50 Taps, $1.00 Mugs, $1.75 Dom Beer, $2.00 Rails

715-667-3878

28

HOLCOMBE PAGE 1189 N. Potato Lk.

CHETEK, WI On North side of Potato Lake

(715) 353-2238 Open: Mon - Thur at 3p & Weekends 10am Resort, Cabins, Camping Newly Remodeled Bar ATM Available!

Resort is FOR SALE!! www.tjtimberline.com alien travelers a place to relax and go to the bathroom.

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED: Are Men Just Happier People?

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

FREE Juke Box Fridays On Lake Holcombe Bar, Restaurant, Cabins, Campground 840 Hwy. 27 N. Holcombe, WI

Y EAR R OUND F ULLY E QUIPPED C ABINS SLEEP UP TO 8 PRICED FROM $700 WK Book online @ bigswedes.com

or call 715-595-4284

ENTERTAINMENT: FREE POOL TUESDAYS! FREE JUKE BOX FRI. NITES DJ/KARAOKE SAT. NITES

Join Us...

Fri. Fish Fry w/ Full Salad Bar TAKING SM PARTY BOOKINGS..!

May 2018

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000.

Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. (one of my favorites here) You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. (Amen!)

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a

pocket knife. (:-) You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

No wonder men are happier.

Read this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

Submitted By: James Boettiger THE OTHER SIDE Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other "I need you to help me get to the other side!"

The other guy replies "You are on the other side!"

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

My friends say there's a gay guy in our circle of friends... I really

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KA KUR O P UZ ZL E

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Do not repeat any numbers in a given block. Hints are shown in grey squares. The number below a diagonal line is the sum of the numbers below it. The number above a diagonal line is the sum of the numbers to the right of it. There is more than one answer.

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YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW Good morning said a woman as she walked up to the man sitting on ground.

The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new.. She looked like she had never missed a meal in her life.

His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before..

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"Leave me alone," he growled....

To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

"No," he answered sarcastically.

"I've just come from dining with the president. Now go away."

The woman's smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm.

"What are you doing, lady?" the man asked angrily. "I said to leave me alone.

Just then a policeman came up.

"Is there any problem, ma'am?" he asked..

"No problem here, officer," the woman answered. "I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?"

The officer scratched his head.

"That's old Jack. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?"

"See that cafeteria over there?" she asked. "I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile."

"Are you crazy, lady?" the homeless man resisted. "I don't want to go in there!" Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up. "Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything."

"This is a good deal for you, Jack" the officer answered. "Don't blow it.."

Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner.

It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived...

The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table.

"What's going on here, officer?" he asked. "What is all this, is this

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man in trouble?"

"This lady brought this man in here to be fed," the policeman answered.

"Not in here!" the manager replied angrily. "Having a person like that here is bad for business.."

Old Jack smiled a toothless grin.

"See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place."

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled..."Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?"

"Of course I am," the manager answered impatiently. "They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms."

"And do you make a godly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?"

"What business is that of yours?"

“I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company."

"Oh." The woman smiled again. "I thought that might make a difference." She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle.

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"Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?"

"No thanks, ma'am," the officer replied. "I'm on duty."

"Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?"

"Yes, Um. That would be very nice."

The cafeteria manager turned on his heel, "I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer."

The officer watched him walk away. "You certainly put him in his place," he said.

"That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this." She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She stared at him intently..

"Jack, do you remember me?"

Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes. "I think so - I mean you do look familiar."

"I'm a little older perhaps," she said. "Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry."

"Ma'am?" the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned Summer & Winter Accommodations

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30

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out woman could ever have been hungry.

"I was just out of college," the woman began. "I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat."

Jack lit up with a smile. "Now I remember," he said.. "I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy."

"I know," the woman continued.

"Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner Mike & Ellie’s

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HAUGEN - RICE LAKE PG table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble... Then, when I looked over and saw you put the price of my food in the cash register, I knew then that everything would be all right."

"So you started your own business?" Old Jack said.

"I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business that, with the help of God, prospered." She opened her purse and pulled out a business card.. "When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons...He's the personnel director of my company. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office." She smiled. "I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet... If you ever need anything, my door is always opened to you."

There were tears in the old man's eyes. "How can I ever thank you?" he said.

"Don't thank me," the woman answered. "To God goes the glory.

Thank Jesus...... He led me to you."

Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways...."Thank you for all your help, officer," she said.

"On the contrary, Ms. Eddy," he answered. "Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And.. And thank you for the coffee."

MURPHY AT MASS Stick with it, it's worth the laugh...Catholics march to a different drummer....

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest nearly fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said: "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"

Murphy said: "I got to be honest with ya Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said: "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy replied: "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."

With a tear in his eye, the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said: "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, hey?"

Murphy slowly shook his head.

"No, Father, after ya talked about

WE CAN’T CHANGE THEM Wife says to her husband, "Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread.

If they have eggs, buy a dozen."

He brings 12 loaves of bread.

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Phone: (715) 475-1300 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left me hat."

Submitted By: Richard Anderson "WANTED - GYNECOLOGIST'S

ASSISTANT" I went to the Job Center in Downtown St Louis, and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, I went in and asked the clerk for details.

The clerk pulled up the file and read; "The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist.

You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynecologist's examination. The annual salary is $85,000, and you'll have to go to Billings, Montana."

"Good grief!!!!!"

I replied, "Is that where the job is located?"

"No sir , that's just where the end of the line is right now."

Submitted By: Robert Clark 2251 Cty SS - Rice Lake, WI 715-719-0669 *Just West of the Rice Lake Speedway *Friendly Beer & Liquor Bar

Happy Mother’s Day ad Memorial Day! 31

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Porter House Steaks, Prime Rib, Tips & Shrimp Come in and enjoy juicy Burgers, Homemade Pizzas, Dinner specials or order off our FULL MENU! NOTICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an over-sensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Carol.

When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.

I generally have lunch each day in the Men's Grill at the Golf Club, so eating out is not an option in the evening. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to

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Another symptom of ageing is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points..

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods... She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the front lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man.. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too. .

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Carol.

I'm not saying that showing this much patience and consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However,

guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Ron died suddenly on August 3rd of last year of a perforated rectum.

The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely five inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Carol Anne was arrested and charged with murder.

The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club...

Submitted By: Judy Dahl TRIVIA What are the next three letters in the following sequence?

J, F, M, A, M, J, J, A, __, __, __ Q & A Q. Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

A. They don’t meet the koalafications May 21st is Victoria Day

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32

SLICE AT THE 1ST TEE There's a golf course where the parking lot is just to the right of the 1st fairway. Separating the fairway and lot is the access road to the pro shop.

One day, a ball comes flying off the 1st tee, hits the rear window of one car and shatters it, ricochets into the windshield of another car and cracks that, then bounces and hits a golfer in the head as he is unloading his clubs. He has to be taken to the hospital.

After surveying the damage, the golf pro asks each golfer as he walks off the 9th green if anyone hit a slice on the 1st tee. After numerous negative replies, the pro finally finds his culprit. The golfer admits that, yes, indeed, he hit his tee shot to the right, but it went out-of-bounds, he and the rest of his group didn't bother looking for it.

The pro explains about the two car windows and the golfer in the hospital. By the time he finishes re-creating the scene, the entire foursome is visibly upset, and the golfer who hit the errant shot moans, “Oh, that's terrible. What can I do?"

The pro says, "You should probably trying rolling your hands a little to the right to strengthen your grip.”

Only a golf pro would give this advice and forget about the damages!

JESSI KLEIN: COSMO MAGAZINE What I love about Cosmo is it is this magazine that is pretending to be your best friend. But Cosmo hates you so much; Cosmo just wants to undermine you, and make you insecure. Like, two real stories from the cover of Cosmo recently, one of them was how to drive a man wild in under 60 seconds. I’m just like, when would I ever need to do that?

When would I ever be in that kind of a rush? Am I at a tollbooth?

TRIVIA ANSWER (from page 32) Answer: S, O, N. The sequence is first letter of the months of the year. September, October, and November are the next in the sequence.

ICE BREAKER Jimmy’s mother had four children. She named the first Monday. She named the second Tuesday, and she named the third Wednesday. What is the name of the fourth child?

A. Jimmy, because Jimmy’s mother had four children!

DIEING PEACEFULLY I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

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22833 N M ain St . Et t r ick, W I NEW ALPHABET: A is for apple, and B is for boat, that used to be right, but now it won't float!

Age before beauty is what we once said, but let's be a bit more realistic instead.

A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps cardi-ac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!

F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention. H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I for incisions with scars you can show.

J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L’s for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next.

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, bones that don't grow! P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!

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Qis for queasy, is it fatal or flu?

R is for reflux, one meal turns to two. S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!

U is for urinary; troubles with flow; V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.

W for worry, now what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found.

Y is for another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!

I've survived all the symptoms, my bodies deployed, and I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!

HAVE A GREAT DAY !

Submitted BY: Craig Yamuchi EXPLAINING PUNS It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

What's ET short for?

He's only got little legs.

Duh!

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33

IN HONOR OF OLD SOLDIERS SHIFTY This story requires no additional comment.

"Shifty"

By Chuck Yeager Shifty volunteered for the airborne in WWII and served with Easy Company of the 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, part of the 101st Airborne Infantry. If you've seen Band of Brothers on HBO or the History Channel, you know Shifty. His character appears in all 10 episodes, and

Shifty himself is interviewed in several of them.

I met Shifty in the Philadelphia airport several years ago. I didn't know who he was at the time. I just saw an elderly gentleman having trouble reading his ticket.

I offered to help, assured him that he was at the right gate, and noticed the "Screaming Eagle," the symbol of the 101st Airborne, on his hat.

Making conversation, I asked him if he'd been in the 101st Airborne or if his son was serving.

He said quietly that he had been in the 101st. I thanked him for his service, then asked him when he served, and how many jumps

Curvy Word Puzzle

(Answers Pg 36 37)

C U RV Y WO R D

Shifty’s Medals of Service

he made.

Quietly and humbly, he said "Well, I guess I signed up in 1941 or so, and was in until sometime in 1945 ..." at which point my heart skipped.

At that point, again, very humbly, he said "I made the five training jumps at Toccoa, and then jumped into Normandy .. . . do you know where Normandy is?"

At this point my heart stopped. I told him "yes, I know exactly where Normandy is, and I know what D-Day was."

At that point he said "I also made a second jump into Holland, into Arnhem."

I was standing with a genuine war hero... and then I realized that it was June, just after the anniversary of D-Day. I asked Shifty if he

&

S U D U KO P G

was on his way back from France, and he said "Yes... And it’s real sad because, these days, so few of the guys are left, and those that are, lots of them can't make the trip."

My heart was in my throat and I didn't know what to say.

I helped Shifty get onto the plane and then realized he was back in coach while I was in First Class. I sent the flight attendant back to get him and said that I wanted to switch seats. When Shifty came forward, I got up out of the seat and told him I wanted him to have it, that I'd take his in coach.

He said "No, son, you enjoy that seat. Just knowing that there are still some who remember what we did and who still care is enough to make an old man very happy."

His eyes were filling up as he said it, and mine are brimming up now as I write this.

Shifty died on Jan. 17 after fighting cancer.

There was no parade.

No big event in Staples Center.

No wall-to-wall, back-to-back

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34

BLACK RIVER FALLS PG We carry - Polaris , CFMOTO, Suzuki, and Gravely!

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No weeping fans on television.

And that's not right!

Let's give Shifty his own memorial service, in our own quiet way.

Please share this with everyone you know. Especially to the veterans.

Rest in peace, Shifty.

Chuck Yeager, Maj. General [ret.]

P.S. I think that it is amazing how the "media" chooses our "heroes" these days...Michael Jackson & the like!

"SHIFTY" - an incredible American hero SHIFTY DIED JAN 17, 2011.

May God rest his soul.

Please do everyone a favor and pass this on so that untold thousands can read it. We owe no less to our REAL heroes.

Submitted By: Mark Perry This story reminds me once again how fortunate we are to have life in abundance.. and all because of men and women like ‘Shifty’ who sacrificed all for us!

Remember the taken! Dyzzi

POEM BY..

Wolfgang Goethe, May 1815 What is now the foliage moving?

Air is still, and hush'd the breeze, Sultriness, this fullness loving, Through the thicket, from the trees. Now the eye at once gleams brightly, See! the infant band with mirth Moves and dances nimbly, lightly, As the morning gave it birth, Flutt'ring two and two o'er earth."

WHITNEY CUMMINGS: SILENT TREATMENT Ladies, next time your man pi**es you off, do not give him the silent treatment. Instead, go Google the most important game of the season, sit next to him during that game and just ask as many questions as possible.

I dont understand, who’s that guy in the striped shirt? Does he work at Foot Locker? I dont understand, why are they all wearing the same outfit? When are we going to have a baby? Eventually he will want to shoot himself in the face, and you win that argument.

THE BACON TREE Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says: "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon."

With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved!

Ees a bacon tree!"

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage?

We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon? Ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!"

With that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 yards,

Bev’s

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Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock.

Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath: "Pepe, go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis miamigo, what ees it?"

"Pepe ees not a bacon tree.

Ees...Ees...Ees...Ees..a ham bush."

And I bet you tried to do the accent didn't you?

I know you did!

You're grinning aren't you?

Submitted BY: Sandy O’Connell

SUDUKO ‘Hard’ Puzzle

MAY ENTERTAINMENT Sat. May 5: Quik Fire 8p-12a Sat. May 9: Toner 8p-12a Sun. May 27: Ginny & The Right Combination 1-5pm N5890 Hwy 54 Black River Falls, WI 715-284-9345 www.facebook.com/SunsetTavern

May 2018

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The golfer said, "It was terrible.

On the 16th hole I sliced one out onto the freeway and it went through the windshield of a bus, and there was a horrible accident.

The bus went out of control and hit a car head-on. There were dead people all over the place."

KARUKO Puzzle (Answers)

His friend said, "That's awful.

What did you do?"

"Well, I closed up my stance and shortened my backswing a little."

Some golfers can be heartless but most care alittle about the outside the world!

Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven was a well known six offender.

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May 2018

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ON-GOING WEEKLY ENTERTAINMENT Mondays: -Pump House- Downing- Karaoke every Monday night starting @ 7PM Tuesdays: -The Bungalow – Lakeland MNJorgensen Tagg Duo Acoustic from 6-8 -Hilltop Bar – Woodville- : Wed Live music Sarah OR Nici Peper (alternating) Wednesdays: -Golden Spike - Altoona- Karaoke 9-C. -Hilltop Bar – Woodville- Acoustic Shows every Wednesday 6 to 8pm!

-Northwoods Brew Pubs- Osseo-Open Mic w/Brian Bethke 7-10p every other W -Northwoods Brew Pubs- Osseo-Classic Country Jam w/Bear Creek Boys1st Wed monthly Thursdays: -Girolamo’s - E.C. - Karaoke 9P -1st & Goal - C.F. - DJ Not2Shy -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Karaoke -Foster Bar-Foster- Patio Live Music -Rookies - C. F. - ‘The Four’ Karaoke Contest 8:30 Feb - March Fridays: -The Bungalow, Lakeland MNDJ Dance & Karaoke 9pm-12:30am -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Karaoke Every Other Friday Night w/ Todd Olson -Big Swedes- Holcombe-Free Juke Box Every Friday Night @10pm -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Karaoke 9p-1am!

-Rookies Pub- C.F.-DJ or Band Every Weekend -The Hub-Ellsworth-Karaoke Friday nite at 9p to 12a.

-Jake’s Supper Club-Menomonie- Live piano music w/Duane Shaw every Friday from 7 to 10pm -Northwoods Brew Pubs- Osseo-Live Music every FRI from 5:30 to 8:30p Saturdays: -Big Swedes- HolcombeDJ/Karaoke10p -Foolish Pleasures-Strum-Karaoke 2nd Sat. Monthly w/ Ron LaTour 9-?

-Brick House- E.C.-- Karaoke @9pm -Double D - Boyd- Best Sound DJ 9P -Uncle Sam’s of Arcadia – House DJ -Golden Spike - Altoona- Karaoke 9-C. -The Hub-Ellsworth-Free Juke Box every SAT from 7pm to close -Rookies Pub- C.F.-DJ or Band Sundays -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Oldies DJ Music Sundays @3pm

ENTERTAINMENT SCHEDULE PAGE 1 APRIL 2018 ENTERTAINMENT

FRIDAY, APRIL 27 - Wabasha VFW Post 4086Willie B Blues Band @8:30 -Northwoods Brew Pubs- OsseoGreg Gilbertson 5:30 – 8:30pm SATURDAY, APRIL 28 -VFW Post-305-E.C.- 2nd X-It -VFW POST 7232 –E.C. – Lost Open Road 8p-12a -Northwoods Brew Pubs- TBD 7 – 11pm -Sunset Tavern – BRFSteve Meyer and the True Heat Band 8-12 SUNDAY, APRIL 29 -Dean & Sue’s – Menom - Open Mic w/Two Frets Up - 6 to 9pm -Sunset Tavern – BRFHillbilly Fever 1-5pm

MAY 2018 ENTERTAINMENT TUESDAY, MAY 1 -The Bungalo -Lakeland, MNMouldy Figs 5-8pm WEDNESDAY, MAY 2 -Northwoods Brew Pub - Osseo Classic country Jam w/Bear Creek Boys 7-10pm & Mug Club Party 6-8 pm FRIDAY, MAY 4 -Wabasha VFW- Wabasha- Live Music w/Bear Creek Band from 8 to Midnight -Northwoods Brew Pub - Osseo Live music w/Dawn Marie 5:30-8:30pm SATURDAY, MAY 5 -VFW Post 305 - E.C. - Live Music w/40 Fingers 8-12 -Northwoods Brew Pub - Osseo - Cinco de Mayo Party – Beer release and live music -Sunset Tavern – BRF- Quik Fire 8-12 -Rookie’s Bar-C.F – 2nd X-It SUNDAY, MAY 6 -Dean & Sue’s - MenomNO JAM due to Beatles on the Chippewa -Corral Bay-Durand- Beatles on the Chippewa - Noon to 9pm - FREE ADMISSION over 70 bands rendition of Fab Four

WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 -Lake Hallie Sportsman’s Club –Lake HallieMusic Bingo 5-7pm -Northwoods Brew Pub - Osseo -Open Mic w/Brian Bethke 7-10pm -Sunset Tavern – BRF- Toner 8-12 FRIDAY, MAY 11 -VFW POST 7232 –E.C. –Jeff White 8-12 -Northwoods Brew Pub - Osseo - Live music w/Mark Croft 5:30-8:30 pm SATURDAY, MAY 12 -VFW Post 305 - E.C. -Rockabilly Riot 8-12 SUNDAY, MAY 13 -Dean & Sue’s - Menom- Bluegrass Jam w/Bluegrass Roundup Band from 6 to 9pm WEDNESDAY, MAY16 -Northwoods Brew Pub - Osseo - Open Mic w/Brian Bethke 7-10pm THURSDAY, MAY17 -Hilltop-Woodville -Syttende Mai Festival Live Music w/Trandy Blue FRIDAY, MAY 18 -VFW POST 7232 –E.C. –-4 Cast 8 to 12 -Northwoods Brew Pub - Osseo Live music w/eHereos 5:30-8:30 pm -Hilltop-Woodville -Syttende Mai Festival Live Music w/Blue Moon Drive SATURDAY, MAY 19 -Linda and Dan’s T &C- C.F. The Cragars Band 9-1 -VFW Post 305 - E.C. - Live Music w/Larry's Drifters 8-12 -Hilltop-Woodville -Syttende Mai Festival Live Music w/32 Below SUNDAY, MAY 20 -Dean & Sue’s - Menom- Classic Country Jam w/Sandy Kay from 6 to 9pm -VFW POST 7232 –E.C. –Wayne Allen 4-7 TUESDAY, MAY 22 -Dean & Sue’s - Menom- Old Time Music w/Top Notchmen from 1 to 4pm WEDNESDAY, MAY 23 -Northwoods Brew Pub - Osseo - Open Mic w/Brian Bethke 7-10 pm

FRIDAY, MAY 25 -Northwoods Brew Pub - Osseo - Live music w/Sean Jordan 5:30-8:30 pm SATURDAY, MAY 26 -Wabasha VFW- Wabasha- Live Music w/Sisters & Co from 8 to Midnight SUNDAY, MAY27 -Dean & Sue’s - MenomNO JAM due to Memorial Day Weekend -Low Rider’s- NeillsvilleBetter Than Good Enough Band 6-10p -Sunset Tavern – BRFGinny and The Right Combination 1-5 WEDNESDAY, MAY 30 -Northwoods Brew Pub - Osseo - Open Mic w/Brian Bethke 7-10 pm COMING IN JUNE -Loopy’s C.F. - Saturday June 2nd.

11th Annual Ridin' for a Reason.motorcycle and classic car ride. Starts and Ends at -Sidetrack’s Saloon-Roberts- Roberts Good Neighbor Days!!!

Fri June 1st - 3rd Music, Food and Fun -Lake Hallie Sportsman’s - Lk Hallie 2018 Annual FATFAR Tube Float.. music and food available.

-Loopy’s - C.F. - 2018 Fatfar Party June 24th - Tube and canoe rentals shuttle rides available.food, drinks, volleyball, Giant Jenga, Hammerschlaggen, bean bag toss, a fire pit and a ton of fun.

Visit our Facebook Events Page for more info.

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THURSDAY, MAY 24 -Dean & Sue’s - Menom- Live Patio Music w/Hickory from 7 to 10pm

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May 2018

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$5.00 Admission on Tuesday for every moviegoer.

CHIPPEWA FALLS | EAU CLAIRE | DOWNTOWN CINEMAS

$1 Hot Dogs in the VIP Lounge every Friday!

www.miconcinemas.com or 715-874-7000. Check us out on facebook.com/miconcinemas

May 2018 MOVIES: (Subject to change) May 11 - Action Point, May 11 - Breaking In, May 11 - Life of the Party, May 18 - Deadpool 2,May 18 - Show Dogs, May 18 - Pope Francis: A Man of His Word, May 25 - Solo: a Star Wars Story

Entertainment Schedule Page 2 BAR OLYMPICS: -Eagle’s Club-Lake Hallie4th Sat. Bar Olympics 7:30p BEAN BAG /DART / KNUBB -Behind Barr’s – GreenwoodThursdays - Bean Bags - starts at 7 -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake Hallie- Bean bag Tourney's Tuess @ 6:30p -VFW Post-305-E.C. - Every Wed: in House Bean Bag League -Loopy’s – C.F- Monday night Kubb and Bean Bag leagues -Rookie’s Bar-C.F – Thur Dart Tournaments Run up till State Darts starts @ 7pm / Sign-up Summer Dart & Pool League -Back 40- Bloomer- May 24th - Two Person Bean Bag League starts and runs for 6 weeks on Thursdays @6pm BENIFITS: -Dean & Sue’s - Menom- SUN May 6 Corey Baier Benefit ATV Ride - Food & Raffles at Dean & Sue's @3PM BIKE RUNS: -Pump House- Downing- May 12: 11 Annual Brenda Casselius Wink Memorial Bike Run & Classic Car Run *Kick stand up at Noon -Uncle Sam’s of Arcadia – Wounded Veterans Run Sat., May 19th Uncle Sam’s of Arcadia Reg 8am – 10am Door Prizes, 50/50 drawing, Chinese Raffle, Food Stop Ride Rain or Shine Cars Welcome!

For more info contact: Skip 1-608-863-0171 or Uncle Sam’s Bar BIRTHDAY / ANNIVERSARY PARTIES: -Fool ish Pleasures-Strum 2nd Sat. 10:30pm- Monthly BLOOD DRIVE: -Wabasha VFW- Wabasha- May 29th Red Cross Blood Drive from 1pm to 7pm BOXING: -Neillsville American Legion – NeillsvilleMay 12-13 Boxing Event DRAWINGS & MONEY WHEEL: -LeRoy’s-C.F.- Bingo- Wheel of Money on Thursday Nights 7-9

May 2018

SPECIAL OCCASION DATES OTHER THAN MUSIC BINGO / MUSIC BINGO: -Eagle’s Club - Lake Hallie - Music Bingo 4th Fri -Burly’s-C.F.- Bingo Sundays 1pm -LeRoy’s-C.F.- Thurs. Bingo 7-9pm -the Bungalow- Lakeland, MNSat. Bingo 2pm cont.. w/20p -The Hub-Ellsworth- Tues Bingo -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake Hallie Music Bingo" Tuesday's at 5:00 -Kern’s Kurbside – Elmwood-Every Wednesday - Bingo @7pm -Eagle’s Club-Lake Hallie-Bingo Every Wednesday night -Back 40- Bloomer- FREE Bingo every Sunday Night @ 5p -Lake Hallie Sportsman’s Club –Lake HallieWed., May 9th Music Bingo 5-7pm BREAKFAST CLUB: -The Pump House-Downing- Sa & SU 8:30 - 12 -The Bungalow -Lakeland, MNThur & Fri 8a till 10:45/ Sat & Sun 7:30-a till 11:45 Sunday Brunch 9am-1:30p -Exit 45-Menom. - Breakfast All Day, -Bev’s Saddlemound Tap - PrayServing Breakfast Sat & Sun 8-10:30a -Jake’s -Menom. -Sunday brunch 10-2p -Dwyers-Pigeon Falls -Breakfast Mon-Fri at 7:30 a.m. Sat & Sun 8a -Big T’s North-Cornell Serves Breakfast 6a-8p every day!

-Corral Bar & Grill - Durand - Serving breakfast from 5am – 11:30 am daily.

-Side Tracks-Roberts- Serving breakfast Sat. 8-11am $ Sun 9a-noon -Village Inn, North Hudson- Serving Breakfast daily 8-11am COMEDY SHOW: -Northwoods Brew Pub - Osseo May 10: Comedy Show 7-9pm – Tickets available at Northwoods Brew Pub $15 CARD, CRIBBAGE, DICE: -Kern’s Kurbside – Elmwood-Every Thursday Euchre @7pm -Behind Barr’s – Greenwood- Sunday Texas Hold Em -starts at 1pm -Neillsville American Legion – NeillsvilleMon & Thurs @ 13:00 Sheepshead

CARD, CRIBBAGE, DICE: -Eagle’s Club-Lake Hallie3rd Sat. Mon Smear Tourney at Noon -Hilltop Bar – Woodville- Poker every Tues night & 2nd Sat. of the month -The Hub-Ellsworth- Euchre every Sunday starting at 2pm -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake Hallie Ducky dice throughout Winter" DART & POOL TOURNAMENTS: -Behind Barr’s – Greenwood- Every Thursday @ 7. "Show Up & Shoot" - in-house pool tourney -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake Hallie- Pool Tournaments every other Saturday!

FATFAR 2018 -Loopy’s – C.F- &Lake Hallie Sportsmans LK Hallie- food, games, fire pits a& music FEEDS, BREAKFASTS: -Neillsville American Legion – NeillsvilleMonday, May 14 Steak Feed 1700-2000 Sunday, May 27 Breakfast 0830-1200 FISHING: -Spider Lake Saloon –Birchwood Sat., May 5th is Fishing Opener *At 3pm meat raffle for the Birchwood Fire Dept. At 6pm – SOCK HOP!!! 50s and 60s music, costume contest at 8pm for the king & queen of the 50s. This is also a SURPRISE birthday party for Bob (ssshhh).

GOLF OUTINGS: -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake HallieGolf tournament May 12th MEAT RAFFLE: -Eagle’s Club-Hallie-Every Thursday 6:30P -The Bungalow, Lakeland MN- Sat. 1pm -Ritz on the River-C.F. - Thurs. 5:30pm -Wabasha VFW Post -Wabasha, MN every Friday - Meat Raffle @6pm -Spider Lake Saloon –Birchwood Sat, May 12th meat raffle for the “Vets Roll”. and May 19th meat raffle for Spooner Tomb for the Unknown Soldier

MEMORIAL DAY: -Neillsville American Legion – NeillsvilleMonday, May 28 - Events as Planned & High Ground Honor Ride -Behind Barrs-Greenwood - Open 3p MOTHER’S DAY: -Kern’s Kurbside – Elmwood-Mother’s Day breakfast buffet 8 am to 11:00 am!!

Moms eat free with the purchase of other buffet!! Mimosa and Bloody Mary bar.

-Corral Bay-Durand- Mothers Day Buffet Reservations Appreciated!

-Behind Barrs- Greenwood - Open Mothers Day 11 am - close. “Mothers Day Dinner Special” Serving 11 - 9 -Jake’s Supper Club - Menom - Mother’s Day Buffet May 13th 9:00am - 4:00pm -Back 40- Bloomer- Mother’s Day Buffet May 13th 11am - 3pm RSVP RUN / WALK BENEFIT: -Bresina’s - Tilden - Steppin Across Tilden for a Cause 5 Mile Fun Walk/Run Sat., June 2nd, 2018 Begins at Dougie’s Ends at Bresina’s Reg 8-9:30am / Starts 10am *Shuttle Service from Bresina’s to Dougie’s for Reg *Charcoal Chicken Dinner, Raffles, Auctions, Kids Carnival *Proceeds to Graden Hansen Family TRIVIA: -Kern’s Kurbside – Elmwood-Every Monday - Trivia @7pm -Eagle’s Club-Lake Hallie- 2nd Friday Trivia Night at 7pm VOLLEYBALL: -Loopy’s - C.F. - Tots in the Sand Every Monday Day in our "heated sand" dome, 10 to noon, $5 per child, drink and healthy snacks provided.

- Loopy’s - C.F. -Mid Season Winter / Spring Volleyball Sign Up only “heated sand” volleyball dome WINE TASTING: -The Bungalow- Lakeland, MN -2nd Thurs monthly wine tasting 6-8p Wine & Apps WOODTICK RACES: -Spider Lake Saloon –Birchwood - Saturday, May 19th at 3pm i13th annual wood tick races (BYOWT). Check the website for more info.

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May 2018

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