Long Island Women's Magazine GEM Magazine Long Island by Tanya Lee

GEM Complimentary Issue

For The Long IsLand Woman

strong island woman eLaIne deL vaLLe

beauty, fashion

hoLIday WeLLness

inside

essence of skin care chic winter fashion holiday recipes

hoLIday 2012

MAGAZINE

eLLen

degeneres

why she’s passionate about long island’s pets

plus long island’s health & wellness

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women making a difference on long island dahna bender photo by chad tenorio In the giving spirit of Christmas, Long Island resident, philanthropist and vocalist Dahna Bender recorded a Christmas CD called “Giving of the Heart”. Produced by Jimmy Greco (Carlos Santana, Beyonce...) and Russ DeSalvo (Celine Dion...), this collection of 6 wonderful classics includes “Silent Night”, “Winter Wonderland”, “Grownup Christmas List” and more. Then, Bender watched Hurricane Sandy take the simple necessities from the lives of those so close to her. Her helpless feeling of “what can I do to help?” made her realize that she could use her voice and singing talents to help those in need. Being an avid dog and animal lover, Dahna knew that so many pets in the tri-state area had lost homes, owners or worse due to the storm. Many shelters were without supplies, flooded or without power for weeks. Determined to find a way to help, she found the AHA (American Humane Association), an organization dedicated to helping children and animals, in the midst of a major emergency with a relief program for the area. Inspired by their amazing good work for animals affected by the storm, Dahna decided to donate the proceeds of her recently recorded holiday EP

melissa van horn the groomery

to the AHA. “I thank God for being blessed to be able to have the resources and support to accomplish this goal for the greater good. I have believed from its inception that a completely selfless project can only be successful as its purpose is pure. The Universe will deliver and guide without fail to accomplish all. As we tread through this process, it’s amazing to see it in action and all the wonderful people that are magnetized to us to help, and to these people I am forever grateful” says Bender. As part of this effort, Dahna will be helping to drive additional awareness and donations to the AHA with an upcoming holiday benefit at the Canal Room in NYC on December 19th at 7:30pm, and second, to-be-announced date on Long Island. An array of talented performers and notable celebrities are taking part and joining Dahna and the AHA for this important cause. Dana’s EP will be made available for purchase on ITunes, Amazon and other digital retailers along with a physical CD that can be ordered through the following websites: airgomusic.com, dahnabender.com, americanhumane.org.

stony brook

When Melissa Van Horn opened The Groomery 10 years ago it was part of a mission to raise awareness for helping pets in need. She’s since founded the Animal Rights Advocacy Group, an umbrella organization that covers a number of initiatives that help animals and their owners, many of whom are simply unable to care for their pets. The American Cancer Society refers patients too sick to care for their pets to Melissa for boarding, dog walking or dog food deliveries. She established One Love, One Life, One Fight, which teams up with the Victims Information Bureau of Suffolk (VIBS), several domestic violence shelters, the Suffolk County Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Brighter Tomorrows to offer free boarding for the pets of the women they house while they seek safety and permanent shelter. “NO shelters in the state of New York let clients bring their dogs or cats,” said Melissa. “A surprising

amount of the women that call for help will not leave their pets behind, so they never seek aid. Now they can rest assured their pets are taken care of, provided with veterinary care and food, and they’ll be placed in a foster home or housed at The Groomery free of cost.” Melissa is also in the process of forming a contract with homeless shelters to offer the same services to families in need. She started O2 for Pets, Too, a fundraising campaign to purchase oxygen masks for pets. Masks are donated to local fire stations. Her Post-Consumer Pets Rescue organization rescues dogs and cats and gets them ready for adoption. Stop by The Groomery today and check out all the great things Melissa and her staff are doing to keep pets and their owners safe. 1320 Stony Brook Road, Ste 6, Stony Brook 631-751-7815. n Hillary Call | GEM Magazine LI

facebook.com/groomeryny, facebook.com/pages/One-love-one-life-one-fight/155252517930215 facebook.com/O2ForPetsToo, facebook.com/pages/Post-Consumer-Pets-Rescue/361407607235535 4

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A Collection of heartfelt Christmas songs including : Silent Night, Winter Wonderland, Oh Holy Night, Sleigh Ride Grown-Up Christmas List & Wintersong A Portion of the proceeds are going to beneďŹ t a non-for proďŹ t animal organization For more information please visit www.dahnabender.com

On ITunes CD NOW AVAILABLE

www.dahnabender.com

beauty

The Essence In all of my time working with every day real women in different phases in their lives, I have come to find that breakouts is a leading reason for low confidence and prevents us from feeling great. Wearing cosmetics and skin care products enhances your natural beauty and boosts the skin’s health. A major reason for breakouts is unbalanced moisture levels and using incorrect products, or products not doing what you desire. A basic skin care regimen with the appropriate items can be used to calm our skin’s drama. It is simple and quick to make this change, and we will talk economically appropriate items and be budget-friendly to avoid “complexion depression”. There are three “must have” items for your basic skincare regime, speaking specifically to break out prone women and men, this will cater more to your skin type which tends to be T-Zone, Combo to Oily. CLEANSER You wake up and go to sleep with it. That would be our first on the list, a cleanser. Facial cleansers lift and remove oil and dirt, which is embedded in our pores. It is important in balancing your skin’s moisture level and this step can make you or break you out. A foaming cleanser is excellent at lifting dirt because it reaches deeper into the pores than creams or gels. This is important for people with breakouts because the cleaner your face, the better your odds are at getting clear, smooth skin. Caveat; be sure to use a cleanser that does not strip your skin of moisture. Bars of soap or any face or body cleansers with drying agents will have that moisture-robbing effect.

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of Skincare by Matthew Ambrosio

Things you should do to get the full effect: • Use your cleanser twice daily, shake well before using. • Let sit and fizz on your skin because the bubbles are at work. • Bring it into the shower so the warmth of the water and steam open your pores, then wash with warm water. I recommend Daily Foaming Cleanser which was formulated by Licensed Esthetician Jennifer Hines of Island Plastic Surgery in West Islip, Long Island. Jennifer states, “Using the appropriate cleanser for your skin type is the cornerstone of effective skincare. The key to properly cleansing your face is to make sure that you massage the cleanser with your fingertips for at least 45 seconds before rinsing. Our foaming cleanser can be left on the skin for up to three minutes for added benefits from the AHA’s.” islandplasticsurgery.com $28.00 ExfoLiAToR Second in line but equally as important, is an exfoliator. What the cleanser didn’t get, the exfoliator will finish. In addition to dirt and oil, dead skin cells can also clog our pores, and this step not only cleans, but resurfaces and removes the dead skin as well. It is important that you find an exfoliator that is appropriate for your skin type. It is a proven fact that men have thicker skin than women, so they can play more with the larger grain textures. I use one that has crushed walnut shells in it. When shopping, always test it out on the back of your hand. Here is a special tip, get one where the exfoliating grains are made of natural ingredients and that are rounder in shape, because it is even more gentle and better for your skin. continued on page 17

beauty “As wonderful as any cosmetic procedure can be, it is important to remember, it serves to augment real beauty and happiness, which comes from within!”

Botox

There may soon come a day when you say to yourself, “Am I the only one not doing it?” Doing what? Botox of course! Botox is the biggest cosmetic treatment in the United States. At the turn of the century (2000) there were just over ¾ of a million procedures performed, and in 2011 over 5 1/2 million treatments. With numbers growing that rapidly there’s no doubt that either you or someone close to you is “doing it”. The stigma that used to be attached to such cosmetic procedures is now “coming out of the closet” to become mainstream within all socio-economic groups. Overall, women account for about 90% of all cosmetic procedures. In the past, half of the procedures were performed on those 40-54 years old. The current data suggests a significant downward trend, with a rise in the 25-34 year old demographic. Botox is the prototype of a group of injectables called neuromodulators. Botox will be used in this article to represent the group. Botox functions to reduce the contraction of muscles which therefore reduces or eliminates the wrinkles overlying the treated muscles. Your physician will determine what areas should be treated and how many units are to be injected. The three common areas are the crow’s feet, forehead and frown lines between the eyes. Treatment of all three areas uses approximately 40 -50 units. There is generally no anesthesia necessary for the 8

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It’s out of the closet now! by Wayne Wertheim M.D.

procedure, and no specific preparation. The procedure takes only about 10 minutes to perform. There is usually no down time and no bruising or swelling. Some redness may be present at the injection site for a short period of time. The effect of the treatment is not immediate. It is generally 4-7 days before the procedure takes effect and results are visible. The goal is to give the patient a more refreshed, relaxed and younger appearance. Botox, performed correctly, should not “change your look” but improve it. There should not be a “done” look. Friends should say, “You look great, did you change your makeup or hairstyle?”! Botox pricing varies greatly. The average price on Long Island is in the $12-14/unit range. Being safe, effective, easy to perform and with excellent predictable results, it is no wonder why the procedure has become so popular and continues its rapid growth. It restores not only a more youthful appearance, but also helps bolster self-confidence and personal pride that sometimes diminishes as aging progresses. As wonderful as any cosmetic procedure can be, it is important to remember, it serves to augment real beauty and happiness, which comes from within! n Wayne Wertheim, M.D. Medical Director Island Medical Laser Roslyn Heights, NY 11577 516-299-5500 | islandlaser.com

BEAUTY

feminine reds sTrong sTYlE

Mystery and intrigue usher in holiday-winter beauty, in a neo-Goth style inspired by the captivating darkness on the fashion runways, infused with femininity and romance. Warm, intense reds are the colors of the season! Lush looks call for velvety red lips and haircolor saturated with violet, copper or cranberry. Compliment with a tailored brow and keep everything else simple – glowing, healthy skin, natural eyes defined by mascara and just a touch of color on the cheeks. This symphony compliments fall’s strong haircuts, which are lit up with a color-blocking technique that showcases multi-dimensional layers. Get That Look Create a luminous complexion with sheer, tinted moisturizers (not heavy foundation) and set with loose mineral powder. Nothing’s hotter than deep reds and purples for lips. Outline in a berry color, smudge with an eye smudger brush and clean the outer edges. Fill in with a darker, cool shade of plum such as Aveda’s Rare Orchid. Use concealer if you need to maintain a crisp edge of color. Hint: to highlight Cupid’s bow, brush in a hint of eyeshadow that matches your skintone. Lashes are long and curled, outlining a simple eye with a little smoke: simplify by picking a trio with a neutral palette (shimmery white, silver and black). Layer the silver/gray over black from lash line to crease, use the lightest shade for the brow. n Adriana Vater | Spa Adriana Salon & Spa 631-351-1555

The National Organization for Women’s Safety Awareness held its annual “Designer Voices for a Cause” Fashion Show Fundraiser at Eva Boutique and John Pappas Furs, Sayville NY on October 25th. Monies were raised to fund educational programs and personal safety initiatives in an effort to keep our daughters, mothers, w743ives and ALL the “GEMs” in our lives safer! The event included fabulous fashions, exciting entertainment, great eats from Cirella’s Restaurant, spirits, and incredible raffle prizes. (GEM Magazine LI was the media sponsor). 10

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GEM

CONTENTS

MAGAZINE

Holiday 2012

GEM

PUBLISHER Ta n y a L e e

f e at u r e s

Complimentary Issue

MAGAZINE

hoLIday 2012

For The Long IsLand Woman

strong island woman eLaIne deL vaLLe

COVER STORY ELLEN DEGENERES: W H Y S H E ’ S S O PA S S I O N AT E ABOUT LONG ISLAND’S PETS

STRONG ISLAND WOMAN ELAINE DEL VALLE

eLLen

beauty, fashion

hoLIday WeLLness

degeneres

why she’s passionate about long island’s pets

inside

stay warm

departments

FITNESS

keep warm With home heating prices so high, we are all thinking of ways to conserve heat.Our thermostats are lowered, we are dressing warmer indoors, drinking warm beverages and snuggling with our pets, etc. But did you know that being active not only keeps you warmer when you’re moving, but the benefits last even long after you’ve stopped moving? As you probably already know, moving around produces body heat; the more you move, the more you get your blood moving.This means the blood that is hot gets to your fingers and toes, keeping them warm.Twenty minutes of vigorous exercise can warm you up and keep you warm for hours to come. A healthy body is more tolerant of cold. The more fit you are, the higher your metabolic rate.Your metabolic rate is the speed at which your body’s cells turn food into energy. This directly affects your ability to tolerate the cold. A high metabolic rate produces more heat than a low metabolic rate.So raising your metabolic rate through exercise keeps you warmer on a daily basis. Just another reason to put on our sneakers and start moving! Exercise not only helps you maintain a healthier body, mentally and physically, but keeps you warmer and your thermostat lower, thus saving you money!

g STylE

n Carol Burke | Power of One Fitness Studio

631-757-6937

powerofoneny.com

in the kitchen

LOCAL MERCHANT SAWGRASS PRODUCTIONS

plus long island’s health & wellness

essence of skin care chic winter fashion holiday recipes

ne reds

holidays with chef eddie g

t’s the holidays that make me reflect on my 33year career in the restaurant industry, and how my Mom would prepare meals for our family. I would stand on a chair next to the counter, and she would teach me how to make the most delicious pies and jams, filling the house with the most incredible aromas. It was at this early age that I knew how happy I would be, cooking the rest of my life. I started at a little Italian place called Rana’s, at the age of 13, and since then, have never had a job outside ‘ The Industry’. After honing my skills at Johnson & Wales College in Providence RI, my culinary journey took me all over the United States and Europe, before coming home to Long Island to proudly serve my friends and family. Being the owner and chef of 3 restaurants here on the Island, I’ve had the pleasure of serving many friends and family during the holiday season. One freezing Christmas Eve, a family of ten came into my restaurant, Eddie G’s Steakplace, unexpectedly, looking for some help. They had purchased a 15 pound lobster and did

not know how to prepare it. After finding them a table, I assured them they would have an amazing meal in no time. I first sent out an unbelievable Scallop Stuffed Mushroom with a Pesto Sauce (recipe to follow). I then took this mammoth 15 pound lobster and made a Lobster Oreganata with Seafood Fra Diavlo over Linguini, with all the family-style fixings. Around the craziness of the holidays, a helpful tip for the ‘home chef’ would be to always “Mise En Place” your ingredients. Meaning, have everything measured out before you start to cook. Another tip would be to always use the freshest ingredients you can buy. We are so fortunate to live on Long Island, an area abundant with fresh produce and seafood and variety of great markets to shop from. My dad always told me to become a dentist when I grew up, because everyone needs a healthy mouth. I chose to please people’s palates with food instead. “The one thing everyone in the world has in common, is that we all need to eat “.

n Chef Eddie G | coast2coastcuisine.com | coast2coastcuisine@hotmail.com

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MAKING A DIFFERENCE BEAUTY FA S H I O N FITNESS H E A LT H & W E L L N E S S FOOD & NUTRITION F A M I LY & R E L A T I O N S H I P S

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GRAPHIC ARTIST Jessica Rapenes

PETS HOME & GARDEN

DISTRIBUTION JUSTIN T. LEE JONATHAN CAVANAGH

AUTOMOTIVE BUSINESS & FINANCE

PUBLISHED BY GEM MAGAZINE LI

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WOMEN IN THE ARTS B E AT O F L O N G I S L A N D WINE IN THE KITCHEN BITS & BITES

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CONTRIBUTORS Lisa Albinowski Kevin Albinowski Matthew Ambrosio Jo Ann Bellistri Cathy Berger, Carol Burke Hillary Call Grazia Monda Cooney Sara Fingerman Chef Eddie G Lauren Geldmacher Dr. Inna Gellerman Bettie Hamilton, Linda Katz Rosemarie Kluepfel, Laney Liner Michele Martin Frances McGarry Susan Montana Dr. Laura Ness, Alyse Parise Lorraine Pomes Paula Klee Parish Mary Rosenvinge Mary Simmons Jean Summit-Riker Lidia Szczepanowski Michael Nack Jaclyn Tomasello Bridgitte Vanderoh, Adriana Vater Suzanne Wachtel, Colleen White Danielle Yurkew

pi n us!

G e m M a g a z in e L I

All artwork, design & layout by Gem Magazine LI, is sole property of the publisher and may not be reproduced in whole or part. The publisher will not be responsible for errors in advertising beyond the cost of the space occupied b y t h e e r r o r, a n d s u c h r e s p o n s i b i l i t y, i s a n y, s h a l l b e l i m i t e d o n l y t o t h e f i r s t u s e of advertising in the case of repeated use. The publisher reserves the right to edit or reject any advertising at its sole discretion. The advertiser shall represent that all artwork and copy provided by the advertiser is owned by the advertiser and it has the right to utilize such in this publication.©2012 Gem Magazine LI.

programs give victims of sexual assault and violence a forum where they can share their personal stories of tragedy and triumph to help build confidence and selfesteem in themselves and others. In the past, actors, musicians and others in the community have taken to FR H Estories P U of B violence LISHE R the stage to O actMoutTtrue against women. For many, telling their stories gave them a “voice” for the first time. “We have stories from women who were abused as children, victims of domestic violence, sexually assaulted and brutally attacked,” said Lidia. “People are in tears. It’s a powerful thing.” These stories, or “virtual voices,” can also be found on the NOWSA’s Website (thenowsa.org). “Designer Voices for a Cause” is an annual red carpet fashion show event where designer fashions are modeled by celebrities, pageant title holders and other members of the community. “Comedy Voices” and “Golfer’s As Long Island slowlyare mends and we trythat to get Voices” similar events raise accustomed to what mayabout be theviolence new normal for women some awareness against and teens. time to come, we can be comforted by the outpouring of Self-Esteem manyBuilding offering their help; whether through a donation, an A key part of the NOWSA’s mission is building selfextra set of hands, a warm place to rest, a hot meal or a esteem for women. “So many of us lack confidence,” shoulder to lean on. Decades from now, we may recount said Lidia. “We’re hoping that if we can instill this in these a time ofthem grief and loss, but youngpast girlsdays it willasstick with for the rest of amongst their the dark cold nights uncertainty of things to“come, lives, and help with and every decision they make.

DESIGNER BOUTIQUE

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NasKaras photo are stories of neighbors being neighbors and ©strangers

becoming heroes and families, friends, co-workers and business colleagues offering to ease the burden at hand. We feel for those who lost a loved one, home or business, those left out in the cold with nowhere to go or too afraid to leave. Years from now, let us not just remember the wrath of Mother Nature, but the kindness and generosity of Human Nature. When all seems lost, remember, “Heroism is endurance for one moment more” - George F. Kennan The experiences and memories we have accumulated over the years mold us into what we are. Diversity makes us stronger, loss teaches us to cherish more those who have touched us, and perseverance tests the depths of our convictions. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or other, this holiday season it will not be about what we don’t have but what we do have. Find solace in each other, find warmth in friendships old and new, rejoice over the memories of yesteryear and the anticipation of the possibilities the New Year may bring. The Gem Magazine LI family wishes you peace, hope, strength and love this holiday season. Inspire or Be Inspired!

happy holidays...

tany a

holiday 2012

gemmagazineli

Ferocious need not be a term reserved just for those housed in a zoo. Sporting an A-line houndstooth sheath over a bodyhugging turtleneck, this watch-outfor-my-bite look is topped off with a cherry red fur jacket. And don’t let the silkiness of it fool you into thinking she’s heading into a rough winter as a softie. That boldly-striped hose gives her the perfect amount of kick necessary to land the only cage she’s willing to get cozy in.

n Cathy Berger fashionsociete.com 14

WINTER CHIC

FASHION

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photo © John S. Vater

look sexy All Night loNg by Grazia Cooney and Colleen White

I’m sure you are already stressing about this holiday season, it seems like we have made ourselves stress out about such minor things in life. Because of the stress of others, we take on other people’s problems, I’ve decided to help you with three easy steps to look great and get you through the holiday looking sexier than ever. That simple everyday ponytail can go a long way this holiday season. We as ladies have a full schedule now, so taking a daytime look into evening is easy. Tease up that pony around the crown of your hair, then mist with some light hairspray. Pull everything else back to about eye level and put into a ponytail, grab a piece of it and wrap it around elastic band and pin, and you are ready to go.

Love this look on Audrina Patridge.

A messy bun or knot can make anybody look amazing. You can use that simple ponytail and wrap it completely around, add a hair gem and look amazing in minutes! Or take it down, flip your hair over and hit with a blow dryer to add some lift to the roots. Then just clip it up into a messy bun, add a fancy hair clip and out you go!

Keep those curls bouncy all night long! Go with a size smaller curling iron then you usually would use to curl your hair. Yes, your hair will appear tight, but while dancing all night long, your hair will get sexier and sexier as the night goes on.

Protecting your hair during the winter Winter can be very harsh on your hair; it can be become very dry and unhealthy. The heat from your home can sometimes cause more damage than the chemicals you add to your hair. Condition your hair a lot more in the winter months, and add a leave-in conditioner on your ends when it’s cold outside. Wearing a hat and putting your hair up will protect it during those windy days of winter. When washing your hair, try limiting the use of very hot water during the winter months, it will help with the condition of your hair. Our hair also tends to have a lot more static in the winter, so try using a dryer sheet on your brushes and comb to help prevent it. Happy Holidays!

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n Grazia Cooney and Colleen White CSI Salon & Spa | 631-320-1554 | csihairsalon.com holiday 2012

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FASHION FOR HIM

WHAt’S yOuR MAN gOt ON

His Feet? by Cathy Berger

WItH HOlIdAy pARtIeS, ANd A deluge OF OtHeR NOteWORtHy get-tOgetHeRS AppROAcHINg, WHAt WIll yOuR MAN be WeARINg ON HIS Feet?

They say women size up a man’s looks just as much as men check out a woman’s looks. But the sexes vary greatly on what they check out. It’s fairly obvious that the male sex tends to focus on physical attributes such as eye color and body type. Women are more likely to be seen as parts rather than a whole, according to research done by the European Journal of Social Psychology on 6/29/12. However 81% of women say they notice what a man has put on his feet first. That’s right- the most important part of a man’s wardrobe from the female perspective is not his tie (although men own more ties than any other clothing item). If eyes are the window to the soul, then shoes are the window to his style. Since men don’t buy as many as we women do, shoes should be considered an investment. Help him choose a few good pairs – and be sure they are outfitappropriate. Here is a quick guide: 1. Cap toe - Conservative, elegant and easy to wear even for the “not-fashion conscious”. Could easily be what most men want to wear because of its versatility. 2. Monk Strap - Or one step beyond the one thick strap you usually find on a monk-strap loafer is the modern ver version with two thin straps and smaller buckles. Great for the guy who wants to make an understated, stylish statement. 3. Wing tip - Most high-powered execs have got a need for these but not all wing tips look right with all suits. Those with closed-lace construction, slim leather soles, and a rich patina can

n Cathy Berger

hold their own with most any two or even three-piece suit. 4. oxford LaCe-up - Great for casual dress down days, i.e. sport coats with slacks. You can’t get much more classic than a finely made black lace-up, particularly when the toe is not too pointy, not too round, and not remotely square. 5. Loafer - Tie him up later. Face it; some days just call for no laces. A hand-rubbed, skillfully shaped pair of do-I-know-whatto-wear-or-what loafers are just the kind of shoes that command respect. 6. the derby - In dreams there’s one pair of shoes he can wear everywhere, all the time, from tuxedos to track pants. Well, here is one pair of shoes that he can wear almost everywhere: chestnut-brown derbies from the undisputed champion of Swiss footwear, Bally. General Color Rules: 3 different colors are ideal- dark brown, black and cordovan. Want to focus on one? Dark brown owes its versatility to a few key features: their rich color (a dark brown beats black for versatility any day), their knack for blending well and being less obvious than black, and their range in hue which reaches farther and wider than pretty much anything else around. Consider them the skeleton key to his closet. He can relax on the weekend or a casual evening with a light shade of brown. For an elegant night, or an important meeting, a dark chocolate-ly shade is perfect.

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photo © John S. Vater

beauty

The Essence of Skincare

continued from page 6 Things you should do to get the full effect: • Use 1-2 times a week after cleansing. • Keep it in your shower so it is always waiting for you. • Get one with a really nice aroma and it will become spalike because it is so rejuvenating. I recommend an exfoliator called “Crystal Ball” by Beauty Society, a private skincare line in Southern California. The resurfacing ingredients are made up of round volcanic micro crystals, it has chamomile built in to sooth and calm, and it is full of anti-oxidants. It is a weekly treatment and it should last you about 2-3 months. beautysociety.com $34.50 MoisTurizer Our final moisturizing, skin-quenching item is an “Oil Free” Daily Moisturizer SPF20+. There is a myth out there that if you have oily skin you do not require a moisturizer. One reason for oil production is that our skin is thirsty, so if it is dehydrated it produces

beauty

The

oil. The moisturizer will quench the skin’s thirst and it will not produce excess oil. There are zero bad reasons and a very large number of good reasons to use a moisturizer. Make sure it is oil-free and light feeling. If you are becoming shiny during the day then either use less product or it may need to be a lighter texture. There are millions of moisturizers, whichfrom page continued one do we choose? Andrew, Color Consultant at Smithaven Sephora Things you should d recommends Zero Oil™ Oil-Free Moisture Lotion by1-2 times a wee • Use Origins because “It is very lightweight and reduces • Keep it in your show excess oil from the skin while giving your skin •the Get one with a really moisture it needs to stay hydrated, thus producing even like because it is so re less oily skin. In addition, it is non-comedogenic and nonI recommend an e acneagenic, which means zero irritancy and clogging of Beauty Society, a priv pores; important for breakout-prone skin types”. California. The resurfa Available at sephora or at origins.com $26.00 round volcanic micro c By making this simple yet beneficial routinesooth a habit, and calm, and i your skin’s overall condition and health will improve. Youand it shoul treatment should notice results in the first week. You canbeautysociety.com follow my $ product recommendations or do your own research to MoisTurizer find the best fit for you, and that is great as well because Our final moisturiz you become savvier in skincare. Free” Daily Moisturize n Matthew Ambrosio There is a myth ou Beauty Educator and Makeup Executive do not require a moist beautybless.com | matthew@beautybless.com is that our skin is thirs

of S

holiday 2012

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FITNESS

n Carol Burke | Power of One Fitness Studio 18

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631-757-6937

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your holiday exercise plan by Lauren Geldmacher Make a holiday exercise plan now, don’t wait until

personal private training wnbf pro figure competitor Lauren Geldmacher

the new year. If you fail to plan, you will. Without a plan, your plan is to fail. Your first step to success is to not skip workouts or sabotage your diet. Make a plan to balance your diet and nutrition as you have always done. Keep your goals realistic and reasonable; to stay and maintain through the holidays. It’s always good to raise your standards to even lose some weight during holidays and reverse your thoughts of gaining.

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schedule for your workout time and stick to it. If you slip at a holiday party or gathering, simply get back to it again. Don’t let one small slip derail you from your goals. Make the best choices possible, within your calorie deficit at holiday parties. Remember calories in versus calories out. Make the choice between good and better and think about portion sizes of higher calorie choices. A calorie surplus actually gets stored as fat. Small amounts of anything, not only bad food will not get stored as fat if it’s not over your calorie deficit. If you keep your calories in line and stick to your workouts, you will not have additional weight gain over the holidays. Fill up on lean proteins such as turkey, chicken, fish and always add some vegetables. Always go easy on any dessert. Your success this season will be in consistency. If you stick to your plan and be consistent, the holidays will not beat you. Stay on your schedule, keep your portions under control and don’t let the holidays defeat your goals. In conclusion, if you make a plan, stick to your plan, your plan will be successful! n Lauren Geldmacher Personal Trainer/ WNBF Pro Figure Competitor Fitness Loft of Huntington | 631-707-3939

• Imagine a life free of worry and anxiety • Easy and effortless relationships • A healthy, well-adjusted mind and body • Reduction of stress and anxiety • Anger control • Increased self-esteem and boosted morale • Balanced work and personal life • Goal attainment and effective prioritizing skills • Understanding communication styles and resolution of conflict Eileen Lichtenstein believes inner strength and being centered are the KEYS TO LIFE and business success. Her programs are geared to empower all people and help promote optimum wellness and productivity. She is a former faculty member of Hofstra University and former biofeedback practitioner, and is currently a certified Anger Management Specialist by the U.S. Courts, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) practitioner, and Peak Performance Success Life/Career Coach. Eileen is the author of Soar! With Resilience®, an interactive manual which provides the core material for her training programs. Tranquility and success is just workshops/coaching away! www.BalanceandPower.com • eileen@balanceandpower.com • 516-623-4353

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Q: WHEN DOES A BEAUTIFUL SMILE ENSURE A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP?

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A: When the problem is sleep apnea. Sleep apnea, a condition where breathing halts for brief intervals during sleep because of physical obstructions in the nasal, throat and sinus passageways, is a dangerous condition that can lead to serious health problems–including death-if left untreated. In many cases, sleep apnea is caused by problems related to the bone and soft tissue structures of the face. Sleep apnea is not just a problem for middleaged people. Children and teenagers also suffer from sleep apnea, and the orthodontist is uniquely suited to recognize the symptoms and causes of sleep apnea. Parents are often surprised when these cases are diagnosed when their children come in for braces! The first step in treating sleep apnea is to undergo a sleep study, which is necessary to confirm the source of the sleep apnea. Next, the orthodontist works with their patient and his or her treating physician to determine the best course of treatment. For some individuals, the use of a breathing mask, known as the CPAP (Continuous Positive Air Pressure), is the solution. However, wearing a bulky mask and keeping a noisy machine in the bedroom doesn’t work well for some patients or their spouses. In that case, the orthodontist has two treatments: oral appliances and orthognathic surgery. There are a few different oral appliances that are used to help keep the airways open, and the orthodontist determines the best fit for effectiveness and comfort. The patient does have to have the fit checked every now and then to ensure effectiveness. Orthognathic surgery, the term for surgery on the bone structure of the upper and lower jaws, is another option. While surgery may sound like an intense course, the success rates are very high and the patient does not have to use an appliance or wear any devices during sleep. For many, this is the best path to solving the problem, as once it is completed, the problem is fully resolved. If you wake up feeling just as tired as when you went to sleep, or if your spouse has noticed that you stop breathing for extended periods of time while sleeping and snoring, speak with an orthodontist to find out if you are suffering from sleep apnea, and learn more about the treatment options for this condition.

n Dr. Inna Gellerman Spectacular Smiles Children & Adult Orthodontics 631-427-8444 | drgellerman.com

HEALTH & WELLNESS

HSA, FSA, CDHP, HDHP oH my! With the end of the year approaching, it’s time for providers and patients alike to familiarize themselves with some new healthcare acronyms. Not long ago, patients paid a deductible ($100 annually) and coinsurance (20% of the bill). Then, copayments ($20 per visit or $5 per prescription) were introduced. Today we’ve got a confusing array of medical payment arrangements, sometimes referred to as Consumer Directed Health Plans (CDHP). These plans provide some control over how healthcare dollars are spent. Health Savings Accounts (HSA) asks patients to guess THIS year how much to put aside for healthcare expenses NEXT year. Not always easy to guess how much you’ll need! Think you’re healthy and only want insurance coverage for emergencies? High Deductible Health Plans (deductibles from $500 to $5,000) may be right for you. All healthcare costs are paid by the patient until the deductible is met. Providers who treat these patients need to be aware of these plans and may

want to consider them self-pay. What does this have to do with the holiday season? Patients and providers alike should have a specific strategy in place. Think about: ∙ Funds remaining in your HSA/FSA? Will they carry over to next year? Can you spend those dollars without losing them? ∙ Met your high deductible? If yes, are there any services you can have done this calendar year? If no, can you postpone services until next year when it applies towards your deductible? ∙ Reached a benefit limit (for example, dental services)? Can you wait until the new annual limit is applicable? The bottom line is that consumers are asking for more control, and they’ve got it! Like any other financial opportunity, you’ve got to understand it and use it wisely. n Susan M. Montana sue@habaneroinc.com 631-244-5661 | habaneroinc.com

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FOOD & NUTRITION

mystical, magical wonders of

cauliflower

by Michael Nack

So what mystical, magical wonders does Mikey T have for you to unwrap in this holiday issue? I decided to share with you my favorite vegetable, cauliflower. You know that white thing in the produce section that kind of looks like broccoli, but didn’t quite get to the tanning salon? Yeah, that thing. Which we probably skip over, unless it is on sale, or comes mixed with other vegetables in a frozen bag. Here are the facts, gals. A cup of cauliflower rocks 25 calories, 5g carbs, 2g protein, 0 fat… BOOM! Dip some of that during your break at work, in my fat-free Greek yogurt sauce, please email me for that recipe. Cauliflower is also rich in Vitamin K (blood coagulation), potassium (maintains heart function), phosphorus (proper utilization of carbohydrates and fats), and magnesium (maintain muscle and nerve function). It is important to have understanding of what vitamins and minerals your body needs to sustain an effective, healthy diet. So, we can spin the dreidel of metabolism-blasting Vitamin Bs that are also associated with this albino version of George W’s least favorite food. Cauliflower tops the charts rich in Vitamin C. Being flu season, we really want to make sure we pay attention to foods rich in Vitamin C and antioxidants. “Wiki” this fun little piece of pie: cauliflower is not just white! It is also grown in orange and purple. While on the Internet, stop by a little interesting website that I found, www.licassoc.com. Turns out Long Island itself has it’s own association for cauliflower, I kid you not! It started in 1901! They have a lot of useful information on growing vegetables on your own, and anything that historically depicts my Long Island, that I am a huge fan of. As always, try to purchase certified organic foods free of free radicals and pesticides, and help support n Michael Nack 22

PTMikeyT@yahoo.com

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your local farms when possible. Buying local organic products are fresher and healthier for your body systems and good for our local economy. To find a local organic farm near you, visit lifb.com. Always go over any diet plans/goals with your primary care doctor/ nutritionist so you design your diet to meet your individual needs. If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions please email me.

Cheesy Swiss Mashed Cauliflower

• 1 lb cauliflower • ¼ cup soymilk • ¼ cup water • 1 minced clove of garlic • ½ tsp Italian seasoning • ¼ tsp salt • ¼ tsp black pepper • 1 tbsp “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” Light (Personal Favorite) • ⅓ cup Alpine Lace Swiss cheese-shredded (Personal Favorite) Boil or steam your head of fresh cauliflower ‘til tender. If you purchased frozen, then follow bagged directions. In a mixer or bowl, add all you ingredients minus cheese and mash till smooth! No lumps! Now this is where I like to add my cheese… I listed recommended serving size, but you can add it to taste and desire as you go, and let it melt right in. If you think this is not going to replace mashed “taters” in your house, just take one bite!

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To stay organized, do you need a holiday shopping list? If the answer is yes, then you probably find it nearly impossible to get through the holidays without to-do lists, so what’s one more? Put your health first and look at your health to-do list everyday to make this year the best holiday season ever. 1. Stay calm: Find time for yourself everyday, even if it’s only a few minutes. Breathe, relax and don’t think too hard. 2. Curb the cravings: During the holidays it’s easy to fall into the emotional eating trap. Before you go for that sweet treat, ask yourself why you want it. Most likely, it’s because you are stressed out or the food is associated with pleasurable feelings. If you aren’t hungry, don’t eat it. Drink a tall glass of water instead. 3. Be optimistic: Even through this busy season, you can live happily by focusing on what is good. View everything and everyone you meet with gratitude. Smile, sing and notice the beauty around you often. 4. Eat three meals: Don’t skip meals. Grab something healthy and go. If you leave the house or office without eating you will likely eat something that you’ll regret later.

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strong island woman

elaine del valle

by Hillary Call

Inspiration can come from the most unlikely places, igniting an undiscovered passion that changes your world–and maybe someone else’s. Elaine del Valle is a whirlwind of talent. She’s a highly acclaimed actress, has an accomplished voice-over and commercial acting career, and is currently wrapping up her solo off-Broadway hit “Brownsville Bred,” her own coming-of-age story which earned the 2012 HOLA Award for Outstanding Solo Performance. On top of this enormous success (in a tough field, let’s be honest), Elaine founded Mansion Ride, a cycling event benefiting the Ascent School for Children with Autism, a non-profit education program for preschool and schoolage kids with autism. Now in its 12th year, Mansion Ride has raised awareness for the cause to the tune of half a million dollars, and has become an annual pilgrimage for bicyclists who love to sightsee all of the gorgeous mansions across Long Island’s famed Gold Coast. “I was asked to create a documentary for the Ascent School’s annual gala. I bought a camera and some editing equipment, and started with the full intention of using this video to make people at the gala feel the pain of what these families go through,” said Elaine. “Instead, I found total empowerment. Most of these schools were started by families at their wit’s end and needed help. When no one gave it to them, they jumped into action. These people were truly inspiring.” On her way to film interviews for the documentary–of siblings of autistic children, which had such touching perspectives on their brothers’ and sisters’ courage– Elaine, in a cab on her way to the airport, was asked by her driver for a donation for his own cause: a bike ride fundraiser for AIDS research. 24

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“My father died of AIDS,” she said. “I thought the cab driver must know someone who passed away from AIDS, but in fact he didn’t know anyone. He said he just wanted to ride his bike. And he wanted to help. Those were magic words to me.” “I realized: this is what I need to do. Get people to do something they really enjoyed and to do it for a cause.” Elaine gave the cabbie everything in her wallet. And so began the Mansion Ride for Autism, which attracted more than 600 people in its first year and has continued to build ever since. “Autism is the 3rd most common developmental disorder, yet is receives so little funding,” she said. “For a child with autism, each moment they’re not taught is a window for autism’s grip to tighten.” “Seeing this succeed was so empowering. You might create something for someone else, but it gives back to your own power and ability, just knowing that you can do something so meaningful,” she said. This confidence fueled Elaine to write, direct and star in “Brownsville Bred,” which depicts her childhood growing up in Brownsville, Brooklyn with her father, a functioning heroin addict. “It is an empowering story of goodness, and will, and appreciation,” she said. “That’s what I found in a sense, that I could even think that I could stay on stage for 90 minutes, and get great reviews too! All because I felt this empowerment through this lone bicyclist driving me to the airport. Through Ascent.” The next Mansion Ride for Autism is June 9, 2013, but you don’t have to wait for summer to support the cause: Sponsor the ride! Elaine and her team will promote your brand through an aggressive, widespread campaign. To donate to the Ascent School, visit ascentschoolforautism.org For more ways to help, check out MansionRideForAutism.com

woman makIng a dIfference on long Island

Hollywood’s most beloved funny woman, EllEn DEGEnErEs, makes Her mark on long Island’s pet communIty. Ellen is co-owner of all natural pet food company, Halo, Purely for Pets, a national company especially active in the Long Island region. Bettie Hamilton, Halo’s VP Marketing & Product Development, lives in the pet-friendly town of Northport. Hamilton, who owns a rescued Beagle and two-year-old Brittany, is responsible for the development of Halo’s high quality foods, treats and supplements made from whole food ingredients at Halo. She’s also active with Long Island pet-related activities and events, regularly supporting organizations like Long Island Pet Professionals, a professional networking group for pet businesses, Little Shelter in Huntington and Rescue Ink in Long Beach. In fact, the Rescue Ink crew visited The Ellen Show in 2008, discussing their critical life-saving work for homeless and abused animals. Hamilton says one of the reasons she was interested in working for Halo was DeGeneres’ generosity to pet-related causes and integrity. “Ellen’s influence is felt in so much of what we do,” Hamilton says. “Especially in the way we give back to the community. Her philanthropic philosophy is evident across the business.” continued on page 26 holiday 2012

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continued from page 25

Kibble Drop 2011 Helps Long Island Pets in Need Last year, DeGeneres’ team launched their annual Holiday Kibble Drop program, where Freekibble.com and Halo send semi trucks full of nutritious Halo Spot’s Stew meals to make shelter pets’ holidays brighter. One of the stops on the 12-city tour last December was in Merrick, where local organizations, Bobbi and the Strays and Shelter Partners came to pick up thousands of meals for the pets in their care. Kibble Drop 2012 As Long Island animal shelters work to recover from Superstorm Sandy, DeGeneres’ team plans to visit Long

Kibble Drop courtesy, Christopher Appoldt

Island again during their Kibble Drop tour. In December, the organization will deliver thousands of pet food meals

DeGeneres and Halo help feed homeless pets across

to some of Long Island’s hardest hit shelters, including

the country, including on Long Island, through their

Rescue Ink and Bobbi and the Strays, among several

philanthropic partnership with Freekibble.com. In 2008,

others. “There is just so much need here,” Hamilton says.

DeGeneres learned about an 11-year-old Bend, Oregon

“We’re happy to be able to, in some small way, help these

girl named Mimi Ausland, who had started a website

organizations rebuild.”

called www.freekibble.com. The site is a pet-related trivia site where visitors can go and answer trivia questions about pets. For every answer, right or wrong, Freekibble. com donates 10 pieces of kibble to shelter pets. DeGeneres was so impressed by Ausland’s ingenuity and efforts that she invited her on The Ellen Show, where she presented the stunned pre-teen with $20,000 worth of Halo food to help in her efforts. Freekibble.com continued to grow and, in 2010, DeGeneres’ company, Halo, became Freekibble.com’s official kibble sponsor. The fit was natural. Ausland’s goal was to feed pets…and feed them healthy, nutritious food. As an all natural, holistic pet food, Halo was a perfect choice. And the partnership enables DeGeneres and Halo to donate more than 1.5 million meals a year to pets in need. “Helping animals has always been a passion of mine. At Halo we want to promote healthy living for pets and eating good food is a big part of that. I mean, imagine, an animal in a shelter, in a cage, lonely-a good meal is kinda all they have to look forward to, until you adopt them!” 26

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Mimi Ausland courtesy, J. Nichole Smith

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FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS

dye your roots DON’T FORGET THEM

“I remember feeling queasy that day so my father took me from below and brought me to the outside deck to get some fresh air. All of a sudden he grabbed me, threw me on top of his strong shoulders and shouted (in Polish), “Look… it’s the Statue of Liberty…we’re home…we’re in America! Everything is going to be alright now.” ~Janina Korzenko-Szczepanowski describing the day she arrived in the United States on the USS General W.M. Black, a US Army transport ship. “I’ll never forget the whipping I got from my father that day. A few days before, I had discovered the “dirt hole” that was under our kitchen table. It was about 4’ by 4’ and covered by an old heavy rug. Being so proud I had found it, when one of my father’s customers came to our home to buy some meat, I meekly pointed to the area under the table. Seeing that he did not quite understanding what I was pointing to, I modestly told this stranger about this special place. I will never forget the look on my father’s face when I disclosed our secret. Unbeknownst to me, this was where our family had been hiding two Jewish men who had fled their city. My father later explained to me that if the wrong people found out that we were helping Jews, our entire family would have been executed.” ~Jan Szczepanowski remembering his childhood during World War II. Do you know your family’s history? Do you know when and from where your ancestors came to the United States? Top Free Genealogy Websites to Find Ancestors: One of the best Genealogy Websites is “Family Search” found at familysearch.org. Completely overhauled and expanded, this website contains a wealth of digitized records, family history books, new ways to search the Family History Library catalog, a Research Wiki and improved records searching making this free site—and its more than 2.5 billion records—your first stop in almost any genealogy undertaking. 28

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Want to Find and Share Family Tree Data Online? Try WikiTree found at wikitree.com. Since its founding in 2008, this wiki-style tree-sharing collaborative has grown to 3.3 million profiles contributed by 47,500 “WikiTreers.” You can choose to join in and share your family finds or keep everybody less than 300 years old private. Other resources include: WorldGenWeb Project – World History Buffs Unite! U.S. National Archives – The Prime Source for U.S. Ancestry Information Genealogy Today – The Google of Ancestry The Olive Tree – The Starting Point for Any Amateur Researcher Research your ancestry and heritage and memorialize it so that important family information can be passed down to future generations. This knowledge will give you a feeling of belonging and a better idea of who you are. Preserve family traditions, recipes, songs and other customs and family data so that the family brisket and cheese cake recipes will be around forever. And if you are looking for a creative and personal holiday gift idea for family members, then you can’t go wrong with a special gift which celebrates your shared heritage. There are many wonderful and unique ways to share your genealogy research such as a Family Cookbook or Recipe Cards, an album of Family Records, or a Personalized Family Tree. (see e.g. melickprofessionalgenealogists.com/ genealogy-gifts) No matter how you choose to share your family history, remember that the gift does not have to be fancy or complete to be meaningful. The time you have spent researching your family’s history and preserving it for future generations is the greatest gift of all. n Lidia Szczepanowski | Everything Lidia, Inc. everythinglidia.com | asklidiathelawyer.com

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family & relationships

helping your child with

low self esteem by Dr. Laura Ness

“Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.” - Nathaniel Branden Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to describe one’s beliefs, feelings, or appraisal of one’s self worth. Healthy self-esteem is like a child’s mental shield protecting him/her from life’s negativity and pressures. Children with healthy self-esteem are typically confident, responsible, resilient, happy, and accepting of themselves and others. Conversely, children with low selfesteem are socially withdrawn from others, experience chronic anxiety and/or depression, are unable to accept compliments or praise, externalize good and internalize bad, have unrealistic or distorted views of themselves, focus on the negative, put others needs and wants before their own, feel that they do not deserve anything good, fun, or happy and are excessively concerned about what other people think. Low self-esteem often develops due to negative selftalk and distorted inner dialogue. Often, children have thinking distortions about themselves, others and the world. Thinking distortions are ways the mind lies and tricks us into believing something that is not true. These thoughts often create serious issues with self-esteem. A few common thought distortions that lead to n Dr. Laura Ness | Psychologist, PsyD 30

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negative self-esteem are: Personalization (comparing yourself to others and making everything others do or say about you), Shoulds (strict rules about how you and others should behave. People who break the rules make us angry, and we feel guilty when we don’t follow these rules), and Emotional Reasoning (what we feel must be true). Many children struggle with low self-esteem, however, parents can make a significant difference. Parents are very important role models. Encouragement, clear communication and active listening are all important parts of building a child’s self-esteem. Knowing what not to do, is just as important as knowing what to do. Here is an example of what NOT to do. Trying to “cheer” them up with compliments. Children with low self-esteem are often angered or upset when parents tell them how great they are. In fact, research indicates that positive affirmations actually negatively affect a child’s mood. Disagreeing or pointing out your child’s positive qualities may make things worse. Giving positive feedback is important; however, do not shower them with excessive compliments.

a parent’s guide Some of the following suggestions may help improve your child’s view of him/herself: n Let your child know what is expected of him/her. No one is perfect. Your reactions to mistakes and failures affect their views of themselves. “Perfection is boring and unattainable, just do your best, that is all I ask of you.” n Let your child make mistakes. Allow him/her to do things on their own. This helps build confidence in young children. “I see you got yourself dressed this morning! Great job!” n Do not compare your child to their peers or siblings. Everyone has positive and negative qualities. “Sally’s mother told me she goes right to bed without a problem. Why can’t you do that?” n Praise your child for his/her accomplishments and efforts. Recognize that your child is trying and let him/her know how proud you are. “I know you studied really hard for that test. It’s ok if you got a C, as long as you tried your best.” n Use constructive criticism. Offer both positive and negative comments about how to change or improve. “You did a great job setting the table. Next time, could you put the forks on the left side?” Bring your child to a professional so he/she can learn how to stop and replace negative self-talk. Be patient and consistent. Healthy self-esteem takes time to develop. Letting go of perfection, correcting thought distortions, and learning to accept mistakes all make a big difference in developing and maintaining health self-esteem. holiday 2012

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family & relationships The decision to have an affair relies more on situational factors, social networks, and opportunity – than on the “Intent” to cheat! There is nothing more devastating in a relationship than finding out your partner is having an affair. The betrayal is so painful; I use the analogy of blowing up a skyscraper. The risk is expensive and the loss of trust is not possible to repair.

Cheating: Promise to Promiscuity

Currently, women are as guilty as men are and have been stepping out on their partners. A lot of the blame has been placed on a rough economy, women in the workplace and Facebook. There is a much wider degree in the opportunity available to have an affair than ever before. Cheating is not just about sex, it could be kissing, talking…even by texting. Whatever the other partner is not comfortable with is considered cheating. Couples today have a lot of stress and pressure especially after the birth of their first child. The responsibility, financial pressures and not to mention sheer exhaustion definitely are not a recipe for intimacy and good sex. Crossing the line does not take much…once the “kiss” happens, affairs take on a life of their own! The oxytocin in the brain is released and that causes all self control to go and before you know it you are in another relationship. The sneaking is exciting, the attention addicting and let’s face it, the sex is new and usually amazing. Of course it is! NO KIDS, NO BILLS, NO LAUNDRY, hotels and cars are much more exciting! So, if you want to stay faithful, then work on your marriage!! Make time for each other, get babysitters, TALK and LISTEN to each other. Be friends and treat each other as you would a dear friend! Your “promise” to your partner should be worth everything. Making time for date night, taking the time to spice up your sex life is the key to a healthy marriage. So start an affair with your spouse!

Divorce is always an option but an AFFAIR is not! If you are not happy and have tried it all, you may need to separate. Cheating is not okay, unless your spouse is the one you are cheating with!! n Suzanne Wachtel CSW Individual and couples counseling 631-525-3646 | swachtel@gmail.com

parenting resolutions for 2013 by Hillary Call/ LICC Volunteer Being a parent is one of the toughest jobs on Earth. It’s the most rewarding, too, but the stakes are high – you’re raising a child who, you hope, will mature into a successful, happy adult. New Year’s is a good time to take a step back and reflect on family. Seize your positive intentions: you want the best for everyone, for each and every child to grow up happy and healthy. Sometimes the stress of the holidays can draw our attention away from these important goals. Take the New Year as an opportunity to restate your own Parenting Resolutions for 2013: • I will learn to pick my battles – a streak of purple hair is temporary • I will respect my child’s privacy (unless it is a matter of her/ his personal safety) 32

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• I will not be on my iPhone when I have the opportunity to sit and talk with my child • I am willing to forego sleep if my child is ready to talk to me • I will listen with my eyes as well as my ears, because crossed arms or a sullen look may be my child trying to tell me something • I will make sure my child knows she/he is loved, every day • I will forgive myself of the mistakes any parent, every parent makes, because mistakes are human and an opportunity for learning Sometimes you don’t have all the answers or you need a little support. Reach out to Long Island Crisis Center 516-679-1111 where there’s always a friendly shoulder to lean on.

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5 easy steps to a better marriage

Being Well Means Being Heard Technology is meant to increase efficiency. Granted, it does and also decreases face-to-face in person contact.Info@AskLidiaTheLawyer.com 631-270-7771 445 Broadhollow Rd., Suite 124, Melville, NY Instead of purchasing Lidia is also the CEO of Everything goods in the community, we Lidia, Inc., a multi-platform lifestyle enterprise which includes Stylish Safety® Personal Protection and shop online. We stay home Safety Awareness Seminars and Products, a Radio Talk Show, Speaking and download a Interview video rather Engagements, Coaching and is devoted to educating, training, challenging inspiringOur women to live safer, more fulfilling and remarkable than go to the and movies. lives. EverythingLidia.com. To book a seminar or for more information email children are glued to video games, rather than playing Info@EverythingLidia.com or call 516.558.7131. outside with their friends. Technology has enabled us to have more choice, and complete tasks in a much shorter time. In many cases we have a greater relationship with the technological software, than with other human beings. I am concerned about the undercurrent of isolation and impact on future generations. We know the typical scenario of working parents Rosemarie Kluepfel both stressed to the max juggling home and work Mortgage Consultant responsibilities. Each child has a TV in their room FEATURES: NMLS# 40311 claiming• Low theirdown ownpayment independence. This reduces arguments, but what has happened to sharing • Available for primary residences, second homes and learning to Where are the discussions of the andnegotiate? investment properties day’s events around the kitchen table, in a technologyVeterans Suiteetc.)? 12, Islandia, NY free zone (no1757 Ipods, Ipads,Hwy., texting, Direct: 631-662-4576 One of the most631-881-5110 healing tools Cell: in being well is to cut throughLicensed this undercurrent ofBanking isolation. Isolation means not Mortgage Banker NYS Department NMLS# 2289 being heard. Being well means being heard. Being heard requires another person to take the time and listen to you. One of the first steps in being heard is to ensure that you are listening to others. You can only start with you. Sit down on a couch and use these tips to practice being heard by listening to others: • Mary, that sounds really important to you.” (Validates the other person.) • “If I heard you correctly, you are saying...” (Summarize what he/she is saying first. Stop chomping at the bit to get your thoughts out so quickly.) • “It sounds like you’re feeling...” (Similar to above except you appeal to their emotions, which is a great skill to develop.) • “When you did... I felt really angry”, rather than “You make me angry.” (When you use “I” statements you will notice the other person can hear you more easily, as they no longer feel accused.)

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n OnFire Alyse Parise LCSW Psychotherapist and Certified Business Coach alyseparise@poweroutcomes.com | 631-689-6272 holiday 2012

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PET CARE

Healthy Lifestyle Choices

For You and Your Pet May Decrease Risk of Cancer by Bettie Hamilton

Long Island is bursting with pet lovers. We rally to help shelter dogs and cats, participate in parades, compete in agility events and swap stories about our pets in neighborhoods and parks. These special encounters cultivate friendships among owners and their pets. Health and wellness is a favorite topic among pet owners and, sadly, cancer care is a topic thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s increasing in frequency. The AKC Canine Health foundation reports there are 77.5 million owned dogs in the United States and 25 percent of them will develop cancerâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;in places like the bones, breast, pancreas, liver, prostate, lung, and skin. Our canine companions statistically have higher incidence of cancer than cats. Some breeds such as Golden Retrievers are more susceptible to a variety of cancers than others. In cats, the most common cancer tends to be lymphoma, associated with feline leukemia virus. The Veterinary Cancer Society identifies 10 common signs of cancer in small animals: 1. Abnormal swellings that persist or continue to grow 2. Sores that do not heal 3. Weight loss 4. Loss of appetite 5. Bleeding or discharge from any body opening 6. Offensive odor 7. Difficulty eating or swallowing 8. Hesitation to exercise or loss of stamina 9. Persistent lameness or stiffness 10. Difficulty breathing, urinating, or defecating 34

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Be diligent in monitoring your pet and check with you veterinarian if you have concerns. Embrace a healthy lifestyle that benefits both you and your pet. Just like humans, diet plays a significant role in wellness. A healthy, natural diet with whole food ingredients free of artificial chemicals and dyes, along with daily exercise may lower your petâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s risk of diseases like cancer. Early detection is important. In both medical and veterinary medicine there is research devoted to caring for animals with cancer, researching cures and identifying preventative ways of treating the disease. Although there are no guarantees for a long life, diet and lifestyle changes can help influence better overall health for our pets. This article is dedicated to Annabelle who, at age six, succumbed to cancer in October, 2012. n Bettie Hamilton, a Northport resident, is the VP Marketing & Product Development for Halo, Purely for Pets, halopets.com

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HOME & GARDEN

Time To Move-Up To A Larger Home If you wish you had a larger home, and think that you

During this time of year, people who are serious about

need to wait until Spring to sell your current home and

buying are out looking at houses, so if your house is on

purchase a larger one, think again! Many people believe

the market, you will not be entertaining many lookers

that Spring is the best time to sell their home. However,

who are not serious about buying. The housing supply

Fall and Winter have their own advantages. Prices are

shrinks dramatically at this time of year. Our marketplace

projected to appreciate by over 15% from now to 2016

has many distressed properties that are being sold as

according to predictions based upon S&P/Case-Shiller

foreclosures and short sales. There are many buyers

U.S. National Home Price Index.

looking for a non-distressed property. If a potential seller

If you are moving to a higher-priced home, it will wind

waits until Spring, then she is competing with more homes

up costing you more in real dollars; you can buy a house

coming to the market. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t wait until Spring when all the

that has a higher purchase price with a lower mortgage

other potential sellers in your market will put their homes

payment. You can also get a 30-year mortgage with

up for sale.

historically low interest rates now. We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know where

What are the reasons you thought about selling in

rates will be headed over the next few years. Financial

the first place? Decide if you feel it is worth waiting, most

institutions that have been inundated with refinancing

likely you will not want to wait to sell, since the benefits

and new purchase loans should be slowing down with

will outweigh the negatives. If you are moving up to a

applications in the winter, so delays for both buyers and

larger property, you will capitalize on the gain when you

sellers will be less likely.

sell the larger home in years to come.

n Lisa Albinowski | Licensed Real Estate Broker, SRES, CBR | Realty Connect | lisa@lisabroker.com | 631-793-7329

The home above is currently on the market: 100 Old Selden Stage Road, Selden â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Stunning 4 bedroom Colonial updated throughout! New roof, gas heat and hot water heater, beautiful updated kitchen, granite counters, fabulous master suite has newly renovated bathroom & oversized shower. www.100OldSeldenStage.com Contact Lisa Albinowski, REALTOR 631-793-7329. 36

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HOME & GARDEN

Bring some temporary green back into your garden by artfully arranging evergreen boughs over your flowerbed. This is an interesting and seasonal way to bring life back to your winter garden, even during the coldest days. Besides evergreen, pinecones can add additional charm to your outdoor space. Tuck clusters of pinecones throughout your arrangement of evergreen boughs, and even place a few in your windowsills to tie the whole look together. Winter days are short, but you can easily add more light to your garden. Consider arranging white holiday lights over the evergreen branches for some brilliant sparkle. Lights will also look great strewn over other trees and shrubs in your yard. Use directional lighting to play with shadows over your hardscape - pointing outdoor spotlights on the architectural elements of your garden will create

ringing the new year WitH A FREsH GARDEN The New Year is a time of reflection, peace, and happiness. Winter is the perfect season to renew and refresh the body and soul. Why not also use the winter as a time to enhance the appeal of your garden? While enjoying warm holiday celebrations with friends and family near a glowing hearth wearing your seasonal finery, your garden may be the last thing on your mind. However, with a little creativity and planning, your garden can be cozy and beautiful too.

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intriguing lines and shapes. And if you’re lucky enough to have trees with red bark, be sure to spotlight those too! Gardens can be enhanced in other seasonal ways for the winter. Although your flowers may not be in bloom, why not add a splash of color to your winter space by inserting clusters of red and branches into the soil. The look will create elegant, natural silhouettes of “trees”, while also bringing color and interest to your garden. Other ways of incorporating color into your garden include placing gold ornaments, natural branches, pinecones and other interesting woody items in colorful, painted flowerpots. These pops of color will add elegant whimsy to any outdoor holiday space! Take advantage of the winter season - be creative with the design elements in your garden. By utilizing thoughtful use of line, color, shape, texture, space, and form, you will create your perfect winter space, just in time for the holidays. We wish you all a wonderful season of special moments, and hope that 2013 will be the best year ever for us all! n Mary Rosenvinge Garden Rooms and Landscapes Northport 631-754-8065 | gardenroomslandscapes.com

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AUTOMOTIVE

Cold Season on the Way not too scary if you plan ahead Well yes, sometimes we think our vehicle is scary

at 3-4 years old. Check the alignment and steering since

with all the noises and performance issues that may

it’s hard enough maneuvering in ice and snow. Hey, don’t

come and go. I’m here to tell you that your vehicle is

forget about the exterior! Washing and waxing helps

not as scary a place as you may think. I’ve been doing

ward off acid rain, ice, and road salt.

this work long enough to know there are problems just

Finally, you want to think like a Boy Scout, (which

not found yet. Winter is approaching, and we need to

I happened to have been one), “Always be Prepared”.

prepare our vehicles for the cold times ahead. Have

Keep some emergency items in your car, a blanket,

your technician give your vehicle a good look over and

flashlight, water, rain gear, some high energy snacks

recheck your maintenance to see what has or has not

that will last a while, something to start a fire, flairs, even

been completed yet.

a flair gun. They are inexpensive, and boats must carry

Things to look at or service? Pretty much everything.

them. I think cars should too. Carry some basic tools,

If you use snow tires, put them on about now or soon.

jumper cables and rope. A small crate will not take up

Have your cooling system tested for coolant freeze

much room.

point, look at your tires and your brakes. Since your

I’ll have some tips on getting unstuck in the snow in

transmission will get a good workout in the snow, check

a later issue. Have yourself a safe winter, drive carefully,

it. Have your battery tested and consider replacement

and be safe.

GEM MAGAZINE

n Kevin Albinowski 40

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President: Keystone Tire & Auto Repair

631-957-8473 | keystonetireauto.com

BUSINESS & FINANCE

The Benefits of Career Services t en em ac pl ut /O on ti si an Tr In this volatile economic environment, downsizing is becoming a necessity for more and more employers. Although these layoffs may be essential to the operation of a business, they are seldom easy for the employer or the displaced employee. To assist employers with this difficult task, many companies are offering career transition services to their downsized employees to assist them in finding new employment. The average job seeker has a difficult time navigating the many obstacles a job search entails. Career transition services offer many benefits to both the employer and the employee when downsizing becomes necessary. Benefits to using Outplacement Services: ∙ Assist the Management team and Human Resources with communication: Communication of the downsizing and the subsequent steps toward the exit of staff can be a difficult and time-consuming exercise. It is paramount that this communication and transition be smooth for both employer and the displaced employee. It may be helpful to have a third party provide on-site assistance when the announcement to downsize is made. They will listen to the employees concerns and explain the outplacement services they will be receiving. This will save HR and management time, thus allowing for the downsizing to continue more efficiently. Additionally, it may make the employees exit from the company less stressful and emotional. ∙ Create good will and minimize negative feelings towards the employer: Offering career transition services to employees will aid in diminishing the negative feelings toward the company. By assisting your displaced employees with the difficult task of finding new employment, they may be more encouraged to move towards their career transition in a productive way. Besides being the ethical thing to do, providing displaced employees with career transition services will minimize the “bad press” that may occur after the lay-off. ∙ Decrease in unemployment costs: By aiding displaced employees to find new employment quicker, utilizing outplacement services, will greatly decrease a company’s unemployment costs.

Unemployment claims can cost companies millions of dollars, a reduction of these costs can be significant to any companies’ bottom line. ∙ Decrease in wrongful termination suits: Providing displaced employees with the proper tools and guidance essential to a job search will greatly increase the rate at which they find new employment. The quicker downsized employees find meaningful employment, the less likely they are to sue their prior employer for wrongful termination. Career transition services can significantly diminish many of the difficulties and costs associated with a decrease in staff. I have assisted many organizations with handling the many challenges these situations create. By partnering with the Human Resource and/or Management team to achieve a smooth process, it can create a roadmap for the employer and displaced employees to proceed.

n Mary Simmons, PHR | Director of HR Consulting, Portnoy, Messinger, Pearl and Associates 42

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516-921-3400

BUSINESS & FINANCE EMPLOYEE PAYROLL DEDUCTED BENEFITS As an employer, the expenses necessary to run our business can be overwhelming. Providing benefits to our employees can be daunting and a major budgetary concern. There are alternative options for employers on a voluntary payroll deducted basis offering benefits at NO cost to the employer. Some of the advantages of offering these benefits to employees are : * To expand the benefit package you already offer * Create choices for your employees Call me today to discuss options. to select benefits that fit Some people think Allstate only protects your car. Truth is, their specific needs Allstate can also protect to your home or apartment, your boat, * Providing benefits your employees shows a concern for motorcycle - even your retirement and your life. And the more their welfare and creates good will which increases morale of your world you put in Good Hands®, the more you can save. * Reduces employee turnover and improves productivity by MARTINsecurity creating aMICHELE feeling of financial (631) 261 4200 * Helps fill in benefit gaps in existing programs 1028 SALONGA RD * Benefits areFT. flexible and portable if the employee leaves. They haveNORTHPORT liberal underwriting for those who might not qualify a093157@allstate.com on their own * Can be a tax advantage if a Section 125 Cafeteria Plan is set upsubject to terms, qualifications and availability. Allstate Property and Casualty Insurance Insurance Company,can Allstate Company, Allstate Fire as and 2 Casualty Insurance * Benefits beIndemnity offered with as little interested Company. Life insurance and annuities issued by Lincoln Benefit Life Company, Lincoln, employees NE, Allstate Life Insurance Company, Northbrook, IL, and American Heritage Life Insurance Company, Jacksonville, FL. In New York, Allstate Life Insurance Company of The advantages of offering a benefit package to your New York, Hauppauge, NY. Northbrook, IL. © 2010 Allstate Insurance Company. employees are numerous. All it costs the employer is 15 minutes of their time. What is stopping you? n Michele Martin Michele M. Martin Insurance Agency, Inc. | 631-261-4200

There are plenty of ways to capture the beauty and essence of human spirit. Taking pictures or just observing are few of the many. Dan Marquardt, the president of Sawgrass Productions, has created his own way to appreciate capturing this through film making. Tired of turning on the television to drama-filled news, Dan had only two options: Either turn off the TV or do something about it. He took the arduous path and decided to solve the problem himself. Dan realized he had a love for film making in 2009 and his family and friends encouraged him to start Sawgrass Productions. With this, he hopes to

Call me today to discuss your options. Call mepeople today think to discuss youronly options. Some Allstate protects your car. Truth is, Some people think Allstate protects your car.your Truth is, Allstate can also protect youronly home or apartment, boat, Allstate can- also your home apartment, boat, motorcycle evenprotect your retirement andoryour life. Andyour the more motorcycle your and the your life. you Andcan thesave. more of your world- even you put in retirement Good Hands®, more of your world you put in Good Hands®, the more you can save.

MICHELE MARTIN MICHELE MARTIN (631) 261 4200 (631)FT.261 4200 RD 1028 SALONGA 1028 FT. SALONGA RD NORTHPORT NORTHPORT a093157@allstate.com a093157@allstate.com

Insurance subject to terms, qualifications and availability. Allstate Property and Casualty Insurance Company, subject to terms, and availability. Property andInsurance Casualty Insurance Allstatequalifications Indemnity Company, AllstateAllstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Life Company, Allstate Indemnityissued Company, Allstate Fire and Company. insurance and annuities by Lincoln Benefit Life Casualty Company,Insurance Lincoln, Company. Life insurance and annuities issued by Lincoln Benefit Life Company, Lincoln, NE, Allstate Life Insurance Company, Northbrook, IL, and American Heritage Life NE, Allstate Life Insurance Company, IL, and Insurance Company, Jacksonville, FL. In Northbrook, New York, Allstate LifeAmerican InsuranceHeritage CompanyLife of Insurance Company, Jacksonville, FL. In York, Allstate Life Insurance Company of New York, Hauppauge, NY. Northbrook, IL.New © 2010 Allstate Insurance Company. New York, Hauppauge, NY. Northbrook, IL. © 2010 Allstate Insurance Company.

focus on the positives of human interactions, and having this career lets him see the world how he wants. Sawgrass Productions is a Long Island based production company that works on independent projects, reality shows, short and full-length feature films. They have been producing a series about Long Island for the past three years and hope to capture the island’s outstanding qualities and scenery. They also value documenting non-profit organizations like The Wounded Warrior Project, The American Cancer Society and Angela’s House. “My films tell a story”, exclaimed Dan. “We work to get the viewer’s hearts and heads into the story by providing human impact and spirit.” Dan realizes that the way to draw audiences to his films is by focusing on the positive aspects of life and the natural beauty that humans provide. To read more about Sawgrass Productions, go to sawgrassny.com or contact Dan Marquardt by e-mail at sawgrassproductions@gmail.com . To get in touch about personal projects, call Dan at 631-245-7322. Video examples are provided on the website. n Danielle Yurkew

holiday 2012

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business & finance

conversations to have with your As a client-centered advisor, I understand that every individual in my practice has a unique set of concerns and goals. Getting to know each client is paramount to truly helping them achieve these goals. Below are critical conversations that can help clients work with their financial advisor towards a mutually beneficial relationship. 1. Often, anxiety about the planning process itself keeps people from engaging in it. Try to find an advisor who takes the time to have comfortable conversations with you to learn how your money connects with your life. Usually, there is a trigger event that motivates people to work on their money situation. An advisor who understands these concerns are at the core of what holistic financial planning is about. Taking a comprehensive view with clients will help determine not only investable assets, but liabilities, earning capacity and help set realistic goals. 2. Continuing on this theme, it is extremely important for people to feel comfortable with their advisor in order for the advisor to do their job well. The client is the one who knows where it hurts. It is a matter of sharing that with the advisor.

Financial Advisor Often, people keep their money situation very private, yet it is critical to share hopes, fears, and reactions to suggestions an advisor might make. This is after all, a mutual relationship where both parties must be heard and satisfied. Frequently, advisors are in sales mode and forget this. A client-centered advisor is not selling products or services; the advisor is selling trust, and with it, hopefully a continuing relationship. 3. Planning for individuals, or couples at different stages of their financial lives, and reevaluating those plans on a regular basis are important. Life often throws things at us – usually when we least expect it. Asking your advisor to have regular reviews is important to discuss so you will not be disappointed. Depending on the client, quarterly check-ins with annual meetings for review can be expected. 4. It is never too early to speak about retirement planning. It is never about timing, but about time when planning for the future. Yet many people avoid the “retirement planning” conversation totally. One of the most important conversations not held often enough is really a three part question. (1)What is the amount you think you will need to have the lifestyle you envision at retirement – and do you know what that vision is? (2) What is the likelihood that you will run out of money before you die? (3) How can you make sure each aspect of your nest egg is being optimized? The retirement-money conversation is really about understanding what the client wants to achieve, then giving the appropriate advice based on goals and risk tolerances.

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5. Finally, if a real connection is made between an advisor and clients, it is often recommended to bring other members of the family into the discussion for future planning. Open communication about family money matters is critical for easy transitions, often during difficult times. 6. The most important conversation of all to have with your financial advisor is to establish what you want out of the relationship. How do you see your advisor’s role in your financial life planning? If you can express this to your advisor and be heard, you are on your way to a solid partnership. n Linda Katz - CFP®, CDFA™ has received extensive training in behavioral finance and incorporates it into her financial life planning practice. Call 631724-1099. Securities offered through North Ridge Securities Corp. Members FINRA/SIPC -1895 Walt Whitman Rd., Melville, NY 11747

ReveRse MoRtgages: Keeping Seniors in their Homes If you are a senior, age 62 or older and have paid off your mortgage or paid down a considerable amount and are currently living in the home, you may be eligible for a Home Equity Conversion Mortgage (HECM) program - a Reverse Mortgage.* HECM is loan product insured by the FHA (Federal Housing Administration), an agency of the federal government. It is a program that enables you to withdraw some of the equity in your home. You can withdraw your funds in a fixed monthly amount or as a line of credit, or a combination of both. You can also use a HECM to purchase a different primary residence if you have cash on hand to pay the difference between the HECM proceeds and the sales price plus closing costs for the property you are purchasing.** The amount you may borrower will depend on the age of the youngest borrower, the current interest rate, the lesser of appraised value or the HECM. FHA mortgage limit or the sales price; and Initial Mortgage Insurance Premium.

The HECM loan has several fees and charges, which include mortgage insurance premiums (initial and annual). You can pay for most of the costs of a HECM by financing them and having them paid from the proceeds of the loan. As part of the application process, a meeting with a HECM counselor is required to discuss program eligibility requirements, financial implications and alternatives to obtaining a HECM and repaying the loan. Counselors will also discuss provisions for the mortgage becoming due and payable so you can make an independent, informed decision of whether this product is right for you. n Rosemarie Kluepfel NYS Licensed Mortgage Specialist NMLS #40311 631-881-5110 | rosemariek@Fairwaymc.com

*Although there are no monthly payments, interest accrues on the portion of the loan disbursed. The borrower will continue to be responsible for paying property taxes, homeownerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s insurance, and maintenance of the home as their primary residence. **Only applicable for the purchase of a single family unit dwelling to be occupied as a principal residence. Program, rates, fees, terms and conditions are not available in all states and subject to change. This information is not intended to be an indication of loan qualification, loan approval or commitment to lend. Other limitations may apply. ÂŠ2012 Fairway Independent Mortgage Corporation NMLS ID#2289. Licensed Mortgage Banker N.Y.S. Banking Department. EQUAL HOUSING LENDER.

holiday 2012

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INSPIRATION & EMPOWERMENT just say no!

by Jean Summit-Riker

I recently had two events in my life that would seem unrelated to most people and yet as I meditated this morning, I was shown the common thread that binds them together. The first happened several weeks ago, after I gave a presentation to a women’s group in Smithtown. As I was about to leave, a member of Gem Magazine came up to me and said, “There are so many people who want me to be involved in what they are doing, but I just don’t have time for it all. Yet, how can I say no?” She expected me to produce some magical words of wisdom but instead I answered, “It’s easy. If it doesn’t make YOU feel good, just say NO!” The second event happened yesterday, as I visited with my 93 year-old Mother who suffers from dementia. You might ask, “What could these possibly have in common?” Let me explain. Mom, despite her dementia, affirmed the answer I gave to the member of Gem Magazine weeks earlier. A lack of self-esteem made Mom believe that she was not as “good, important, special, or whatever other adjective you’d like to add to this statement. She put aside herself believing that everyone else’s wants and needs deserved to come first. She never considered that a simple two-letter word like “No” could set her free of other’s demands. Instead, she allowed herself to buy into

guilt and felt that choosing self-love was being “selfish.” Her dementia has taught her new lessons that she shared with me during our visit. “Life is too short, Jean, and it goes by too quickly. Don’t worry about what others want. Enjoy doing the things that make YOU feel good. It isn’t your job to please everyone.” Life isn’t a competition and its winner isn’t the one who gets to the finish line first. You can choose to enjoy and savor all the moments of your life or overlook them in your rush to get through each day. As this holiday season quickly approaches with all of its demands, saying “NO” to the things that others expect, and “YES” only to those things that make you feel good will fill your heart and nourish your soul. Slow down and take time to really smell the cookies baking in the oven; relish in the excitement in your children’s eyes as they listen to you read that well-known holiday story, and gratefully acknowledge the blessings of the special moments that you share with those who are in your life at this joyous time. It won’t be the presents or the wrappings that you will remember long after the holidays are gone. It will be that one gift that only you can give yourself, THE GIFT OF JOY! Happy holidays, everyone. n Jean Summit-Riker tranquilitybasedlifecoaching.com | 631-289-1371

a holiday wish for you - live your life I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel that it’s my car that is essential. I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel that it’s my education that is essential. I don’t think what is essential about me is my house or my car or my clothes. What is essential about me? Well, I think what is essential is that I live and embrace life right now, wherever I am. Don’t spend time crying about yesterday - yesterday is over with! I forgive my past. I forgive the people who have hurt me. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life blaming and pointing a finger. I get so sick and tired of hearing people gripe about what their parents did to them. You know what your parents did to you? The best thing they could do. The best thing they knew how, the only thing in many cases that they knew how. Nobody has set out maliciously to hurt their child, unless they were psychotic. Can you forgive? Can you forget? Can you say it’s “OK”? Can you say, “They are people, too”? and take them in your arms and embrace them before you lose the chance to do that? Then take yourself in your arms. Find out again that you are special, that you are unique, that you are a 46

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by Paula Klee Parish

fabulous human being, that in all the world there is only one of you. Sure you have screwed up, and sometimes you do dumb things and you forget that you are a human being, but the most wonderful thing about you is that, no matter where you are, you have potential to grow. So what, you cannot pronounce some words. There is this much of you now, and there is still an infinite amount to discover and to find! Don’t spend your time crying! Forgive others! Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not being perfect. And accept responsibility for your own life. It does not matter who you have hurt, if you have learned not to hurt again. It does not matter what mistakes you have made as long as you don’t make them again. As long as you learn, as long as you are willing to take your life into your own hands, and go on from there. Then there is growth. Then there is life! Don’t live by default, just existing. Give yourself a gift this holiday season, and just reach out and forgive… n Paula Klee Parish Social & Community Psychology and Master Life Coach performancesolutions.biz | paula@paulakleeparish.com

Hot Chocolate, Crisp Weather and Celebrating the Season Your Holiday Guide for Family Fun By Sara Anne Fingerman

There is no place like home for the holidays, whether you are roasting marshmallows over an open fire at the Port Jefferson Dickens Festival or driving through the Girl Scouts of Suffolk County Annual Light Show, here are some fun holiday ideas to do with your family without having to leave Long Island.

Charles Dickens Festival

Every year for one weekend, the village of Port Jefferson has their annual Charles Dickens Festival. The entire town turns into a Norman Rockwell picture, the characters from A Christmas Carol walk in and out of the restaurants greeting people, and the children will enjoy seeing Santa and his reindeer. Whether you are finding your last minute presents or feel like listening to carolers, this is a must-see event. For more information please go to www.portchamber.com

Holiday Light Show

Bundle your little ones up, or grab your significant other and take a drive to Bayport for a dazzling drive-through light show. The Holiday Light Show, Long Island’s largest and brightest, is back for its tenth consecutive year, bring-

ing all the magic you’d expect, with even more fun and surprises! Drive through a mile-long wooded trail filled with dazzling light displays and holiday vignettes! For more information please go to www.gscc.us/events/holidaylightshow.asp

The Maccabeats

Put on your yarmulke, it’s time for Chanukah. Listen to the music of the world-renowned Maccabeats. The Maccabeats, Yeshiva University’s a cappella group, became an internet sensation when their You Tube video “Candlelight” reached over 7 million hits. They have since performed all over the world including a performance for the President at the White House. Their music has a very positive message and appeals to all ages. They will be performing at North Shore Jewish Center on December 16th. For ticket information please go to www.northshorejewishcenter.org No matter what you are celebrating, enjoy Long Island’s gems of the season, cuddle up with your family, view the lights and enjoy the music. Have a very Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah. Sara Anne Fingerman holiday 2012

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women in arts & entertainment vocal artist leah laurenti by Jaclyn Tomasello Leah Laurenti, the young and beautiful vocal artist from Long Island, has spent lots of time sharing her talents with as many people as possible, and inspiring whoever hears her music. You may have seen her on the hit TV show American Idol or at many local events and fundraisers around Long Island. Her refreshing voice and amazing, confident stage presence can grab anyone’s attention and bring them great joy. Her Journey: Leah has been singing for as long as she can remember, and it was always something she enjoyed and excelled at. She started sharing her talents with others at church, and as she went through high school, she took part in talent shows, musicals or wherever she had a chance to let her voice be heard. After high school at about age 18, the TV show American Idol was becoming increasingly popular, and she decided to give the show a shot. In 2009, she sang in front of the celebrity judges and made it to Hollywood for the first time. She made it to the top 90 before being eliminated, but her journey with American Idol did not end there. She tried for a second time in 2010 and sailed through to Hollywood for a second time. Although she had not made it to the end, Leah had gained lots of recognition, experience and a positive attitude filled with motivation and determination to continue on her journey to success. After Idol, Leah spent time creating her first album, the self-titled “Leah Laurenti” (available on iTunes now), a huge accomplishment for any artist. Leah is consistently performing at events and places such as BB Kings

Blues Club, LI Ducks games, NY Mets games, fundraisers and many more, gaining the admiration and fan base from whoever surrounds her. Her goals: Aside from Leah’s love for singing and performing, the focus of all her hard work is deeper than that. Leah does not only want people to listen and enjoy her music, but she hopes to inspire and reach out to people through her talents. It is very important to her that her music brings happiness to her listeners and she feels her duty is to give back to whoever has supported her and taken the time out to listen. One of Leah’s latest works was to sing the anti- bullying theme song “Give Me A Voice”, for an organization called Get. A. Voice. It is also available on iTunes now, with all proceeds going to the organization. Get. A. Voice.’s mission is to inspire and empower youth to use their voices, hearts, and talent to say and do what’s right to end social cruelty and they chose Leah and her talents to display this for them musically. She will be performing for students and teachers at an event for Get. A. Voice. at Hofstra University on December 7th, where all the proceeds will be donated to the organization. This is only one of many amazing causes Leah has supported for her community. She is currently working on her second album, planned to be released in Spring 2013. So keep your eyes and ears open, because her journey has only begun, and there is a lot more Leah Laurenti to come. leahlaurenti.com | Creative Empires, Inc. 631-574-7256

artist sally feng fader by Laney Liner Sally Feng Fader was born and raised in China has been an artist her entire life. She attended the prestigious Tianjin Institute of Fine Arts in Tianjin, China and studied fashion design. She came to the United States in 1999 to attend The Fashion Institute of Technology, part of the State University of New York (SUNY) and graduated Magna Cum Laude. “I have always loved drawing and how it lets me express my creativity,” said Fader. Being surrounded by artists all her life has enabled her to nurture her unique style. She shares her love of art by teaching drawing, watercolor, fashion illustration and Sumi-e to students of all ages in her Floral Park, NY studio. Sumi-e is a Japanese monochrome ink painting, a technique first developed in China during the Sung dynasty (960-1274) and taken to Japan by Zen Buddhist monks in the mid14th century (©Encyclopedia Britannica). She teaches Sumi-e with a Western twist by using multiple colors vs. a single color, which is used in the traditional art form. She teaches the special 48

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watercolor technique using brushes on rice paper. At an early age, Fader became familiar with Chinese brush-style painting while watching her father work as a calligrapher. Fader said this about Sumi-e art, “It has long been used not only to produce beautiful art, but also to encourage a calming and meditative state in the artist.” Fader paints when she is not teaching, and exhibits her work locally and nationally. One of her watercolors was recently selected for a national award at a juried exhibition of the Sumi-e Society of America. In addition to Sumi-e creations, Fader accepts commissions to paint oil portraits. She brings a life-like quality to all of her portrait work, and a peaceful feeling to all of her Sumi-e pieces. The latter includes landscapes and flower and/or nature scenes. While pure black is always in her Sumi-e paintings, she uses shades of black and introduces a variety of rich, vibrant, basically happy colors to all of her work. For more info on Sally Feng Fader, visit sallystudio.com.

women in arts & entertainment director isabella eredita johnson by Frances McGarry Where there’s a venue there’s a way to make opera affordable and accessible to local communities. “Our goal,” says founder and Director Isabella Eredita Johnson of Opera Night Long Island, “is to foster the production and appreciation of opera and chamber music by bringing together Long Island’s finest singers, chamber musicians, and costume designers. Since its first offering six years ago at Northport’s Café Portofino, Opera Night has attracted audiences of two-hundred or more. Although it could never replace The Metropolitan Opera in New York City, it does allow people of all ages to experience live performances of opera talent right in their backyard without the hassle and cost of traveling to Manhattan. Fans range from celebrity moms to teenagers; in fact, Newsday featured Opera Night in a news article that included a picture of a group of teens eagerly engaged in the performance. This publicity drew throngs of curious spectators to squeeze into the tiny cafe space prompting the local Fire Marshall to issue a code warning! What seemed to be a closed door, a new one opened! St. Paul’s Methodist Church of Northport opened their auditorium facility to the fledgling group. To keep expenses and maintain budget line costs venues such as churches, libraries, and schools are affordable; however, the locations are not limited to Northport. “We’re now in Oyster Bay…at this point where’s there’s a venue with a quality piano, where

author kerriann flanagan brosky

there’s an audience, there’s opera!” declared Isabella. As for the vision of Opera Night Long Island, an opera house is part of the plan, but “rather than get so consumed with the whole marketing business end, “ Isabella feels that they are meeting their stated goal: “We’re doing the concerts. We’re doing the music. We’re having fun.” It’s a journey that will eventually coalesce to be a complete work of art with Long Island’s own Opera House. So, how does Opera Night dispel the clichéd notion of a fat lady wearing a Viking hat waiting to sing? Perhaps, due to her Neapolitan background, Maddie challenged this stereotype: “We have singers introduce their arias to the audience. And that makes it real to the people. And that there’s a story [to tell]. And it is that story and what artists try to communicate [that brings The Arts] to life.” And so, to those naysayers who say that the arts are an amenity or that opera is fine for you, but not for me, Opera Night Long Island would say: “Opera is food for the soul. It’s sustenance. And it gives us meaning. Without music there would be a very drab, one-colored world. [Opera] is color!” To find out more about Opera Night Long Island go to isabellajohnson.blogspot.com/. n Frances McGarry, Phd

First Online With Fran | firstonlinewithfran.com francesmcgarry.com

by Sara Fingerman

Q. Did you grow up on Long Island? Yes. I grew up in Plainview and I’ve been living in Huntington for the past 21 years. Q. What kind of advice can you give to aspiring authors on Long Island? Don’t give up. It’s a difficult field. There have been times when I’ve gotten frustrated and wanted to throw in the towel, LOL, but you have to persevere and push forward, and not listen to what other people tell you. If you have a passion for something there is no changing that. It takes time and patience. I’ve been writing for twenty years now. The other thing is to be as professional as you can. Don’t cut corners. Learn everything about the industry, have your work professionally edited, and revise, revise, revise. Q. You have had a lot of success with Ghosts of Long Island: Stories of the Paranormal Volumes I and II and more recently a cookbook, tell us about your latest.

My latest book The Medal has been a long time coming. It’s my first novel and is loosely based on experiences I’ve had in dealing with my father’s long battle with multiple sclerosis, dealing with his death, and the amazing life changing miracle which took place after his death. The journey I went through with my family was a long and difficult one. I wanted to write an inspirational story to help others who may be going through similar things, to give them hope and faith that it won’t be like this forever. Q. Where can we see you, please tell us about your upcoming events! My official premier book launch was on October 19 at The Book Revue on New York Avenue in Huntington. It was my sixth book launch there and we always have a great crowd. I am in the process of booking other events and lectures, so the best thing for people to do is to check my website at padrepiomedal.com or become a fan on Facebook. holiday 2012

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the beat of long island

a taste of What a Man feels

The Winemaker’s Dinner: Appetizers

Are you a fan of erotic romance? Do you want to understand this genre from a man’s point of view? If so, may I suggest adding The Winemaker’s Dinner: Appetizers to your reading list? It is the first book (in a trilogy) written by Dr. Ivan Rusilko and Everly Drummond. Jen Boudin, Freelance Event Producer, said, “DivaMoms Book Club was the perfect platform to launch this type of book.” Dr. Elizabeth Harper, Publisher of Omnific Publishing (omnificpublishing.com) teamed up with Lyss Stern, Owner of Divalysscious Moms (divamoms.com), to bring this collective vision to life. This book developed in the powerful world of social media from a Twitter hashtag (#ManCandyMondays). When Everly learned of Ivan, she thought he would make a perfect erotic romance character. She then asked if he would be interested and he said, “If I can write it and we can work together, I would be more than happy to do it because it is more of a Zen process.” What intrigues me about this book is that there is a real man’s voice behind the words. I had the opportunity to speak with Dr. Ivan Rusilko about how both sexes are inhibited in our society. We agreed that men are inhibited from expressing themselves emotionally and women 50

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from expressing themselves sexually. He then said, “The nice thing is I am a man who is able to express myself emotionally through the written word. I have had beautiful relationships in the past–my favorite part of the novel is the acknowledgement (To all the women I’ve loved before) because my romantic self has been formed by these beautiful relationships and beautiful people.” When asked what Everly would want readers to take away from this book, she said, “A lot of women read romance and fall in love with fictional characters, but in our book, the male character is real, he is everything in the book–a doctor and Mr. USA ¬, and he is approachable. You have every chance of running into this guy at a Starbucks®. Erotica empowers women and we don’t have to be ashamed about it. Men are visual and watch pornography and women read it.” Do you want to connect with these two authors who are both extremely approachable, talented, REAL and KIND? twitter.com/ivanrusilko and twitter.com/everlydrummond n Laney Liner Owner: Blue Thunder Creative Group, Inc. bluethundercreativegroup.com | twitter @laneyliner

WINE

choosing the perfect wine for your

Holiday Table

by Lorraine Pomes

IT’S The TIMe oF yeAR to gather your family and friends and to give thanks over a traditional meal. Adding your favorite wines, or trying new ones always makes an amazing meal more festive. So break out the bubbly and start your meal with a little sparkler. Feel free to pair with some light cheeses and fruit, try warming a wheel of Brie with a topping of whole cranberry sauce and sprinkle with toasted slivered almonds.

As your meal progresses, so should your

coming Malbec should be considered. The

wines. With all the wonderful smells coming from

wine is balanced and medium-bodied, lush and

your kitchen, you’ll want your wines to be aromatic

complex—a perfect choice for wintry weather.

also. A lightly oaked chardonnay with aromas of

The characteristic tastes of blackberry and plum

apple, vanilla and butter should do the trick. A

contrasts well with a richer holiday meal. Pair

perfect pairing with cream-based salad dressings,

this wine with herb crusted crown roasts and

pumpkin soups and white pasta sauces.

prime ribs. The peppery finish of the wine will

A fruit forward red wine, with a light to medium

compliment the beef. Feel free to add a splash to

body is an excellent choice for your main course.

your gravies and sauces to add a little depth to

Think Pinot Noir for roast turkey. Pinot Noirs

their flavors.

are known for their vibrant red and black cherry

The dessert table traditionally overflows

fruit flavors. This brings out the juiciness in the

with options. The traditional pumpkin and apple

turkey and will also compliment sweet potato

pies, marry well with a late harvest Riesling,

dishes, earthy mushrooms and the gentle tannins

or a cream sherry would be top choices. More

in the varietal will marry well with all the green

decadent chocolate desserts will need a

vegetables offerings.

traditional pairing of a Tawny Port or your favorite

If you prefer a red wine that is a little more intense but will not over shadow, the up and

Cabernet Sauvignon.

The most important thing to remember is to look around your table and give thanks to all that you have, sharing your love of food and wine with your family and friends, is the best pairing any of us could hope to have this holiday season. n Lorraine Pomes

wineshopathome.com/lorrainepomes

631-767-8815 holiday 2012

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in the kitchen

holidays with chef eddie g

n Chef Eddie G | coast2coastcuisine.com | coast2coastcuisine@hotmail.com

STEAK D’PIZZIOLLA (can also be made with pork chops)

Scallop Stuffed Mushrooms with Pesto Sauce

10 - medium size mushrooms (cleaned, stem removed) 10 - medium size sea scallops (chopped) 2 - slices bacon 2- garlic cloves 2 - Tbs. oil 2 - Tbs. white wine 1/8 cup bread crumbs 1/8 cup grated cheese 4 oz. mozzarella cheese Parsley garnish Sautee in a medium sauce pan oil, white wine, chopped bacon and garlic. Before garlic browns, add chopped scallops, bread crumbs and grated cheese. This will be your stuffing. Sautee mushroom caps for one minute then spoon stuffing into each cap. Put a little mozzarella cheese in each cap and broil for 3-4 minutes or until cheese melts. Enjoy!

Pesto Sauce

1 - cup basil leaves 1 - cup spinach leaves 2 - cloves garlic 2- Tbs. pine nuts 1/8 cup grated cheese

1 lb. spaghetti cooked al dente 4 steaks (I like outside skirt steak) 4 tsp. olive oil 1 medium onion sliced lengthwise 8 cloves garlic, halved 1 - 35 oz. can of whole tomatoes with basil (crushed by hand and left somewhat “pulpy”) 1 - 8 oz. can of tomato sauce ¼ cup of tomato paste 6 oz. dry red wine (chianti) 1 ½ tbsp. dried oregano ½ tsp. crushed red pepper (optional) salt and pepper to taste Heat one tablespoon of olive oil in a large, deep frying pan over medium heat. Add the steaks and cook to your liking, then remove to a plate and lightly tent. Lower the heat to medium-low, put in the remaining oil and sauté the onions until transparent, while scraping the pan drippings. Add the garlic, stirring until you smell it’s aroma, then add the paste and sauté, stirring for one minute. Pour in the wine, stirring to a simmer, then add the rest of your ingredients except the steaks, cover loosely and simmer for 12 minutes. Now add the steaks and their juices, turning them in the sauce several times for about two minutes. Serve with a portion of spaghetti and some sauce. You can sprinkle on grated parmesan if you wish. If you didn’t prepare with the red pepper, you can add it to your plate now. Peasant bread goes very well with this dish. n Frankie D DeCesare steaks seafood cocktails fine wine

Combine all ingredients in a food processor, add more oil if needed to create moist sauce. Please be thankful for the family and friends you have around the table this holiday season.

320 West Jericho Tpke. | Huntington | 631-423-1155

holiday 2012

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Bits & Bites

Sip City meet me at

On the way home from the city one night, I skipped my regular train, and instead hopped on one bound for Great Neck. Half an hour later, some friends greeted me at the station and we headed off to try one of the town’s newest restaurants, Sip City. Conveniently located on a corner just across from the station, I found Sip City to be the perfect place to grab an after-work drink or bite to eat in its swank surroundings. Fellow commuters and fashionable locals were gathered around the large, wrap-around bar that offered plenty of seating, soft red lighting, TVs quietly tuned to sports, and a nice stream of chill music. Highboys following the curve of the bar along the wall, and a small but elegant, windowed dining area gave us two options for eating. Once seated in the dining area, our friendly server presented us with the newly redone menu offering an

eclectic range of options. From Asian noodles to burgers to chicken and waffles, the chef here has created something for everyone, no matter what you’re in the mood for. And we wanted to try it all! For starters, we enjoyed the Sip Spinach & Artichoke Dip ($12) and Sip Sliders ($12). The trio of juicy sliders were served with crispy onions and Sip sauce (think “chipotle mayo”) but it was the dip that stole the show: large chunks of artichoke hearts and spinach bathed in a creamy sauce, topped by crunchy, baked parmesan cheese and served with crispy organic tortilla chips. We washed it all down with a variety of beverages from their extensive drink menu–15 specialty martinis, over 30 bottled varieties and 8 beers on tap, and a nice variety of wines by the glass made ordering easy for our group. Our smiles continued as the entrees arrived and we dug in. The massive, steaming bowl of Singapore Street Noodles ($15) was absolutely delicious, featuring al dente rice noodles slicked in a sweet and spicy Thai-chili sauce with chunks of fresh veggies and chicken. It was so good (and so big) that this lucky girl enjoyed leftovers for lunch the next day! Brown Butter Sage Ravioli n Bridgitte Vanderohe

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($14) satisfied the Italian-food fans in our group with its plump moons stuffed with fontina cheese and cremini mushrooms, lounging in a pool of buttery, sage-y goodness. The “Taylornator” Burger ($14) was one of those things we simply had to try, layering mozzarella, pickles, avocado, lettuce, tomato, crispy onions, chipotle mayo and bbq sauce over a kobe-angus beef patty. And last but not least, we paid homage to the South with the Chicken & Waffles ($15), featuring Cajun-spiced chicken tenders atop soft-but-crisp cheddar chive waffles. Served with a side of buffalo sauce and a side of maple syrup, this delicious dish let us play with our food until I declared that an equal blend of both sauces with chicken and waffle was the Perfect Bite. Too stuffed for dessert? Never! Pineapples & Coconut Sorbet ($8) offered a nice, light ending to the meal with grilled and glazed strips of fresh pineapple nestled next to a side of creamy coconut sorbet. Also a big favorite was the Warm Rocky Road Brownie ($8) served with vanilla ice cream, caramel sauce and whipped cream. With a menu lineup this good and a location this convenient, how could a girl say no? I’ll be back to visit this City again very soon. Sip City, 16 Middle Neck Road, Great Neck, NY, sipcity.net 516-482-1500. |

info@gemmagazineli.com

the beat of long island The Capital Grille | Garden City 630 Old Country Road 516-746-1675 The newest location of the Capital Grille has arrived on Long Island! In addition to their 48 other locations, the Capital Grille in Garden City, NY serves to please. The restaurant is known nationally for its dry-aged, hard carved beef and award-winning wine list. They have a well rounded menu for lunch and dinner, with crowd favorites such as Bone-In Kona Crusted Dry-Aged Sirloin with Shallot Butter, Lobster Mac n’ Cheese, Pan Fried Calamari with Hot Cherry Peppers, and many more delicious choices. The Capital Grille is the place to be for wine lovers. With over 350 selections, from prices under 30 dollars to “four-figure gems” on the captains list. The mahogany paneled walls give the restaurant a warm rich feeling, surrounded by local history and portraits of many prominent figures. Aside from the atmosphere being extremely appealing to the eye, the attentive, personalized and sophisticated service will make anyone feel welcomed and important. The

Capital Grille is routinely recognized by Wine Spectacular magazine, and honored with the American Culinary Federations “Achievement of Excellence Award”. If you are looking for a night out to feel special, eat and drink well, and relax - the Capital Grille is the place to be. n Jaclyn Tomasello | info@gemmagazineli.com

Happy Hour Everyday 4PM-7PM $3 Beers | $4 Wines $5 Appetizers

(Chicken Wings, Nachos, Hummus & Pita, Pommes Frites)

Industry Night Mondays

with Peter Mio & Friends 20% off seated dinner or bar dinner $5 Martinis | $3 Bud/Bud Light/Bud Lime

Karaoke Tuesday Jazz Wednesdays Ladies Night Thursdays Live DJ Fridays Saturdays Live Bands & Music

Open for lunch on Mondays thru Saturdays at 11:30am with dinner menu starting at 4pm. Open until 2am! Now booking Holiday Parties!

16 Middle Neck Rd., Great Neck, NY | 516-482-1500 | sipcity.net holiday 2012

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