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Buckle Up Expert etiquette advice from John Bridges
COLLISION COURSE A month ago, I was involved in a horrific car accident. Ever since, I’ve been scheduled for twice-weekly physical therapy. My friends have been great organizers, and they’ve lined up people to drive me to therapy sessions and my other appointments, too. I’m grateful, except for one of my friends whose driving drives me crazy. She drives over the speed limit whenever she can; she runs stop signs and rushes through caution lights. I’d never ridden with her, so how was I to know? She hasn’t been stopped by a police officer, at least while I’ve been with her. I survived one car wreck — I don’t need another one. What do I do? — Anonymous, Oak Hill You’ve been in the hot seat before. There’s no reason for you to ride shotgun again, but somebody needs to keep this mad woman off the road. It need not be you. You might leave it to the driving-crew coordinator to tell Ms. Evel Knievel that your schedule’s full. (Who cares if it’s true?) You’ve got your own health to be concerned about. Try canceling a couple of dates with the kindhearted speed devil and hope she’ll get the message. She probably won’t. (There seems to be no stopping her.) If she doesn’t, you have my full permission to freak out. You don’t need any more time spent in twice-weekly therapy, so go ahead and sign her up for driver training at your own expense. Your insurance probably won’t cover it. However much it costs, consider it money well spent.
PUCKER UP At my office, we’re working on a major sales project. I’m on the planning team, and we all work well together. I’m the only woman on the committee, and we’ve hired a consultant, a guy who is a pretty good friend of mine. Every time we get together with him, he greets everybody else with a handshake — and he greets me with a kiss on the cheek. He’s not just making me uncomfortable; I’m sure he’s endangering his contract with the company, too. The kissing stuff has to stop. I like him, but I want to keep our business relationship and our friendship separate. How do I do that? — Anonymous, Gallatin
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Takes two to kiss, usually, but one can stop the kissing, should one care to do so. In this case, you’re the one to do it. Just stick out your hand next time you meet the guy. Since you’re the only woman involved — and the boss of the moment — you’ll be doing the right thing. (As I’m sure you know, women always take preference when it comes to handshaking.) Before you meet your over-friendly friend again, corner him in the hall outside the conference room and tell him to give up the lip work. Work is work, and friends are friends. He ought to understand that. If he doesn’t, you do — so tell him. At the end of the day, he’ll be grateful to you whether he knows it or not. XOXO and SWAK to both of you.
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BY JOHN BRIDGES
John is the author of How To Be a Gentleman and the co-author, with Bryan Curtis, of other books in the GentlemannersTM series. Send your Best Behavior questions to jbridges@nfocusmagazine.com, and check out his up-to-theminute advice on life’s puzzling problems every Friday at nfocusmagazine.com.
