Sue Anne O’Donnell adds some personality

Personality filled Ceremonies

BY SUE ANNE O’DONNELL

‘That was a great funeral, a real good send off. I didn’t personally know him but after the ceremony I feel like I knew him all my life, I have a real sense of the character he was. How the loss of their child was marked really touched me, so respectful.

Hearing those stories really brought back memories of the friendship we shared. I love that Granny’s real attitude was brought to life, she may have been a cross old bag, but we loved her, and I think she would have loved today’s ceremony too’.

These are some of the comments I have been lucky to hear following some of the funerals where I was the Celebrant. Now as I sit to write for this edition of Funeral Times, I realise my opening words could be construed as strange, yet it is what I do. I write and deliver ceremonies to tell the story of the person, their life, who they were, their habits, their impact on those around them. Sometimes the ceremony is for a person who was a challenge, grumpy at times, a character, in their unique way. Other times, the ceremony is deep, filled with sadness especially when the loss is that of a young life, or through a tragic accident or sudden unexpected death. And on occasion the ceremony is full of happy moments and stories that bring old forgotten memories to life.

My uncle Anthony died many years ago, he was a real character, larger than life, and full of devilment, especially where my mother was concerned. To say Anthony loved my Mam, and she him is fair, even though polar opposite to him, for she was as religious as you could find, and he, well, apart from his wedding and funeral wasn’t inside the door of a church once he left home back in the 40’s. When there would be a family gathering, Anthony would make a bee line for my mother and in the blink of an eye be on one knee, head bent, hand out and be heard to say, ‘May I have your blessing pope Kathleen?’ Now anyone else would have been shunned by my Mam, such was her religious belief, but not Anthony, he would receive a head shake, and be told something on the lines of ‘get up you idiot before I have to slap you. You might be my elder brother but!’ and then they would laugh before hugging. He was loud and fun and the centre of the gathering, he taught each of his sons how to drink their first pint on their 18th birthday, though I am sure they had sampled this many times previously. Anthony always told his daughters, ‘when I die don’t wear black, go get your hair done, wear fabulous colours, have a pint in my honour and tell plenty of stories about me’. But of course, that was the early 80’s and you wore black or at least dark clothing, you were sombre, and the ceremony was the same as every funeral before and after, because that’s how it was. Sadly, Anthony’s stories and character, his antics, his clear devotion to his family, his love of practical jokes and his quirky relationship with his siblings, nor his requests, had any part in the ceremony.

How I would love to be the celebrant for Anthony, paying tribute to his larger-than-life presence, shining light on his kindness, sharing how he stood by his family in dark times reminding them even when he himself felt fear, ‘we can get through this together love is all we need’ Imagine the gift of allowing his family to share their memories, weaving them into his life story in his celebration of life ceremony and following his wishes to wear colours, have our hair done and drink pints as we told stories (Ok as the celebrant I wouldn’t be having the Pint but you get the picture

I hope) Anthony’s funeral ceremony would have been one of those ceremonies that was full of life, fun, while also respectful, and honest. Yes, it would have been filled with laughter, yet tears would be there too because his life and his absence would be acknowledged. And his wishes would have been included, how honouring to his family’s grief would this have been….

Civil Ceremonies allow us to celebrate our loved one, in unique ways, with words and poems, stories and more that may mean nothing to an outsider looking in, yet to the family in grief mean everything. As a celebrant I know I cannot ease a family’s grief, yet I can hold a space for them to honour and acknowledge their Loved One in ways that are meaningful to them. It is a privilege to sit with them in the days following death, and be part of their memories, trusted to write and deliver a ceremony of celebration that’s fitting, so that their loved one is remembered, and for those present who may not have known their loved one personally, well, by the end of the ceremony they may have a glimpse of the wonderful fun loving, family loving, devilish rogue they were and have an understanding to how loved they were by those who knew them.

As humans’ ceremonies have been used since the dawn of time to mark important life events of all kinds, to celebrate a birth, a marriage, a birthday, coming of age and of course death, the loss of a person loved, or sometimes let’s be honest a less than loved person. We gather to pay homage, to tell stories, to offer gratitude for the gift of them in our lives, or to share stories of the ‘grouch’ they were!

It is an honour in my role as Celebrant to help you pay homage, and reflect with truth your loved one, their life, their ways, and give thanks for the gift of them on this earth. I am here by your side as you say goodbye to your loved one in a ceremony that holds meaning to you, at the time of their funeral, interment of ashes or memorial.

Please feel free to contact me to celebrate your Loved One’s Alternative Civil Ceremony. I travel the country for Funerals, Memorials, Interment of Ashes, Anniversary, and other ceremonies. I can of course be present with those allowed at the Funeral home, Crematorium and or Graveside, while on other occasions the Ceremony is held for all the family and friends at a later date depending on the family’s request. At this time where family and friends cannot gather, I offer ceremonies online should this suit your needs better.

With Love and Understanding Always

Sue Anne The Celebrant By Your Side

Associate Member of the IAFD, IIOC Trained

Mobile:+353868239431

Email: sueannecelebrant@gmail.com www.thecelebrantbyyourside.com

I always appreciate connecting and if you would like to connect, you’ll find me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter – Sue Anne The Celebrant By Your Side

Sue Anne O’Donnell - ‘The Celebrant By Your Side’

IIOC Trained and Associate Member of IAFD Civil Celebrant

As a Holistic Celebrant I offer an alternative to church ceremonies. Every ceremony is personally written and delivered respectfully to pay homage to the life of your loved one ensuring they are remembered with grace and dignity. Civil Funerals, Memorials and Anniversaries allow us a time and space to mark our loved one’s passing while also honouring our grief. The ceremony can take place in your home, funeral chapel of repose, crematorium, grave-side or place of special significance. If I can be of help in my role as a Funeral Celebrant for a Funeral, Memorial or Anniversary, please feel free to contact me.

Funerals conducted throughout Ireland 7 days a week Mobile: +353 (0)86 8239431 Email: sueannecelebrant@gmail.com / Website: thecelebrantbyyourside.com

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