8 minute read
Sheena Bradley pays tribute to funeral directors
from Funeral Time issue 2 2021
by Inhouse
A Tribute to Northern Ireland’s Funeral Directors from a Humanist Funeral Celebrant
Prior to becoming a celebrant, Sheena Bradley had never thought much about what funeral directors do. But since becoming a humanist celebrant three years ago, her admiration for funeral directors’ professionalism has grown. Here, Sheena pays tribute to the funeral directors of Northern Ireland and their work during the pandemic.
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Do people in general take funeral directors and their services for granted? Perhaps. Nevertheless, when we need them, they are there, offering a personal and professional service at a time when we are grieving and at our lowest ebb.
It is absolutely remarkable how much sheer effort funeral directors — and the staff behind the scenes — put into helping families navigate this most upsetting and stressful of times. And, it is important to note that they are conducting funerals - sometimes several times in one day — in even more difficult circumstances than usual, with all the restrictions and special measures in place due to Covid-19.
Despite the relentlessness of the current circumstances this past year, each family is treated with the utmost respect and care. And each loved one tended to with real sensitivity. It is truly remarkable, and I am increasingly in awe of the work that funeral directors do.
“I salute you, funeral directors of Northern Ireland.
Your proud tradition and the high standards you hold yourselves to, is truly a credit to you all.
Thank you for what you do and how you do it.”
This morning, I conducted a Celebration of Life for a much-loved partner, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, and friend in a purpose-built funeral parlour. The funeral directors were all there before I arrived — prepared and immaculately turned out with their smart uniforms and long, black coats. The funeral parlour was warm, clean, modern, welcoming and, apart from the church-like wooden pews, almost cosy.
As a celebrant, I have always been treated by funeral directors with absolute politeness, patience, and appreciation from the first phone call right through to when the funeral ends. And this funeral director talked everything over with me
before the ceremony. I hadn’t been to this particular funeral home before, and we both wanted everything to go smoothly.
The funeral director had prepared the music the family had chosen, creating a playlist on his phone and playing it through his own portable Bluetooth speaker. Together, we worked out the timings. The ceremony began with Thin Lizzy’s ‘Whiskey in the Jar’, ended with the haunting ‘Parisienne Walkways’ by Gary Moore, and we played ‘Goodnight’ by Chris de Burgh in the middle for a time of reflection.
Once the ceremony was concluded, we made our way outside to a sheltered area. I have an image etched in my mind of the mourners gathered near the coffin, which was resting on the trolley. The funeral directors waited for the last strains of Gary Moore’s electric guitar to fall silent before inviting six family members to carry the coffin as far as the main road, where a blizzard was blowing. We could see the furiously swirling snow beyond the arched entrance to the car park.
Pallbearing is one of the oldest and most important ceremonial roles at a funeral, and the faces of those engaged in the act says it all. The funeral car was sitting right there. It is not necessary to carry the coffin anywhere, but the fact the funeral directors recognise the huge importance of this emotive act is yet another testimony to their professional concern and care for those who have been bereaved. For those who are simply standing by, the symbolism is heart-breaking and powerful.
Eventually, we made our way to the nearby cemetery, windscreen wipers swishing away the snow as we followed the very shiny, perfectly maintained hearse. This was the last leg of this man’s journey.
At the graveside, the chivalrous and multitasking funeral director offered to hold my umbrella while I spoke the words of committal into the wind.
The family threw flowers into the grave and whispered their final goodbyes as the snow turned everyone and everything white.
Find a celebrant near you - Sheena is a humanist funeral celebrant trained and accredited by Humanists UK. She conducts funerals in and around Dromore. For contact details of all humanist funeral celebrants in Northern Ireland, please see the inside front cover of this edition of Funeral Times - or visit humanistceremonies.org. uk/find-a-funeral-celebrant.
Organising a funeral without family
Staff at Finders International Probate Genealogists locate Deceased’s next of kin on behalf of Funeral Directors, Hospitals, Councils, Nursing Homes and Solicitors.
Last year, staff at our London office were contacted by a member of the Council Bereavement Services in the UK to locate next of kin for a lady who had recently passed away. The only information known about the Deceased was her date of birth.
The Council asked Finders to carry out research in order to identify and locate the Deceased’s family, so that we could inform them of her passing and funeral arrangements could be made.
Staff at our London office commenced research however, no matching marriage or birth records could be located in the UK. Research was carried out in Ireland and a birth certificate was located. It transpired that the Deceased had been born in Ireland in the 1940’s and had emigrated to the UK in the 1960’s where she lived for many years. She had never married and did not have any children. Sadly, she had lost touch with her family over the years.
Further research was carried out by our Irish office staff and we identified birth records for her 11 siblings. We traced her siblings and it was discovered that of her 11 siblings, most had predeceased her. One sibling had emigrated to Australia, and one sister was still alive and living in Ireland. We successfully contacted the Deceased’s sister and her many nieces and nephews. The family were saddened to learn that she had recently died, as they had made great efforts throughout the years to find her and thought that she must have died some years ago. We provided our report to the Council who were then able to liaise with the Deceased’s relatives. The family were grateful to finally have information and to be involved in organising the funeral and burial.
We are aware that in Ireland and the UK there are many similar stories where individuals have lost contact with family members. If you need assistance to locate next of kin, we would be pleased to discuss our services or answer any queries. We can be contacted by phone (01) 5676940 or email on contact@findersinternational.ie
Our service is free to Funeral Directors referring a case to us. All referrals are confidential and we are registered with the Data Protection Commission.
HAVE YOU BEEN ASKED TO ARRANGE A FUNERAL WHERE SOMEONE HAS DIED WITH NO KNOWN NEXT OF KIN?
Contact us today quoting 'Funeraltimes21'
New product is fair and square!
Martin McGowan is a first generation funeral director setting up his business in 2009 and within 5 years opened a funeral home in his home town of Stranorlar, Co. Donegal. He was also in the funeral supplies business from 2009 supplying stretchers, trolleys, decks etc to funeral directors across Ireland, Wales, Scotland and England as well as across Europe and far flung places such as Cyprus.
Background to Coffin Square
Martin was frustrated that no device existed within the funeral industry to assist us in placing a breast plate, cross or religious emblem squarely and symmetrically upon a coffin lid. How many times have we placed these embellishments on a coffin lid thinking it was perfectly square until you put the remains on view and place the coffin lid next to the coffin only to find that one or more of the items are crooked or off centre. Inevitably this reflects poorly on us, is visually displeasing and makes us look totally unprofessional.
Our Value
As an industry that prides itself on perfection as we only get one opportunity to conduct a funeral to our very best standard, frustration gave rise to the concept of the “Coffin Square”. This task of adorning a coffin lid is normally carried out at a time sensitive phase in preparing a funeral and any item that saves time as well as guaranteeing accuracy is most beneficial to each and every funeral director. The “Coffin Square” doesn’t just aim for perfection it delivers it – every single time!
Simple
The “Coffin Square” is a simple measuring device to assist the funeral director to accurately place items such as a cross, breastplate, or other adorning emblems upon the awkward shape of a coffin/casket lid.
Accurate
The “Coffin Square” is a 2D, square-shaped template with four-sided calibration to allow equidistant symmetry from both sides of the coffin/casket lid to accurately pinpoint the exact location of the various adornments to the lid centrally and squarely.
Great Value
The purchase of the “Coffin Square” is a one-time purchase and if looked after it will likely last a lifetime and represents great value at under €100.00 delivered to your door on the Island of Ireland whilst saving the funeral director’s time when it’s most needed and offering pin point accuracy in the placement of adornments on a coffin or casket lid.
Early Bird Offer
The “Coffin Square” is set to be the go-to device in every coffin room. Get yours today at the early bird price of €95.00 (Ireland) or £85.00 (Britain) delivered to your door.
