The Butterfly Effect Curriculum by freelyinhope

Butterfly THE

EFFECT

A curriculum healing the trauma of sexual violence and igniting our vocation that transforms the world

Freely in Hope exists to equip survivors and advocates to lead in ending the cycle of sexual violence. This retreat curriculum aims to provide a deeply healing, empowering, and restorative experience for survivors to connect with themselves, each other, and their Creator. It will ignite an exploration of passion and purpose in an authentic and safe space.

Developed by survivors:

Magdalene Chikanya, @magdalenechikanya Rebecca Crook, @stickylittleleaves Jean Nangwala, @jean.nangwala Designed by:

Sampa Nakamba, @studio.sampa Learn more at freelyinhope.org Funded by Forum for Theological Exploration

Contents 2. Introduction

5. Schedule 6. Materials 7. Facilitation Notes 8. Objectives 9. Welcome 11. The Butterfly Hug 12. Session One - Inherent Dignity

13. Ice-Breaker 14. Introduction 15. Visual Poem 16. Conversation 17. Art Practice 18. Storytelling 19. Contemplation 21. Session 2: Suffering Injustice

22. Ice-Breaker 23. Reflect 24. Visual Poem 25. Conversation 26. Art Practice 27. Storytelling 28. Contemplation

29. Session Three: Beauty of Transformation

30. Art Practice 31. Ice-Breaker 32. Reflect 33. Visual Poem 34. Conversation 35. Storytelling 37. Reflection & Closing 38. Contemplation 39. Session 4: Healed to Heal

40. Ice-Breaker 41. Reflect 42. Healed to Heal 43. Conversation 44. Contemplation 45. Ministry Project Planning 48. Art Practice 49. Closing Ceremony Appendix:

51. Butterfly Effect Worksheet 52. Egg 53. Caterpillar 54. Chrysalis 55. Butterfly

Schedule Session 1: Inherent Dignity The Egg

Session 3: Beauty of Transformation The Chrysalis

Session 2: Suffering Injustice The Caterpillar

Session 4: Healed to Heal The Butterfly

Create a space that communicates safety, empowerment, and transformation. Print out all 4 images of the metamorphosis (on pages 52-55) and leave them on the wall for inspiration throughout your time together. We encourage you to structure and use the session plans in a way that makes sense in your context. Get creative! Adapt as you see fit! Change timings as you see fit! Share your lessons and the journey with our community using the hashtag #FreelyInHope on social media.

Materials SESSION 1 1 large piece of paper for each person Paint, markers, colored pencils Magazines or newspaper Scissors Glue sticks A speaker to play inspirational music while you create!

SESSION 3 The Butterfly Effect worksheet Flip chart / whiteboard Pens Markers Quarter sheets of paper Tray with dirt Lighter or matches Black T-shirts Acrylic paint Paintbrushes

SESSION 2 Coloured markers White paper plates

SESSION 4 Flip chart Markers (one pack for each group) Colored ceramic tiles Hammer Glue Painters tape White, square ceramic tiles (one for each person) If you cannot access tiles, you can use paints, markers, and squares of wood or plexiglass.

Facilitation Notes For small group conversations, groups should have 3-4 people each. To build safety and connection, they should meet in these groups regularly to share their stories and insights. There should be one facilitator for each group. We also recommend having a certified counselor onsite and present in all sessions to support the facilitation, to normalize emotions, and to deescalate traumatic memory. Facilitators should read through the curriculum ahead of time to adapt this curriculum in a way that works best for their cultural context. Consider how the themes, objectives, and purpose of this curriculum align with your organization's values, mission, and vision. Iterating this will help participants make important connections between the process, their story, and the organization's intent. Defining roles and responsibilities for all facilitators will be helpful so that the facilitators are active in holding a safe space for learning, vulnerability, and connection. When facilitators lead with vulnerability and empathy, participants will have a model to follow. At the end of the day, facilitators should debrief to reflect on what went well in that session and what could be better for the next session. Make adjustments where necessary and ensure participants are well supported in the journey.

Objectives

At the end of the retreat, we hope that participants:

Feel;

Connected, Welcome, Safe, Open, Sense of possibility, Sense of responsibility, Affirmed (by others and by self), Enough and whole, Valued, Empowered,

Do:

Bear witness to each other, Share their truth in a safe community, Check-in on each other; continue to build relationships of trust beyond the retreat, Create and lead a project to explore their passion and serve their community.

Say:

“I am beautiful,” “I am not alone,” “I am accountable and responsible,” “I have options,” “I am enough,” “I am of value,” “I am worthy,” “I am able,” “I am a priest,” “I have a trusted community and support system,”

Welcome We are so glad you're here. During our time together, we are going to embark on a journey of healing and transformation through our stories. We intend for this curriculum to support survivors in an exploration of their vocation in creating a more just and beautiful world. This curriculum was created by and for survivors of sexual violence. We hope that you will experience healing in your own story as you learn from the stories around you. There are 4 sessions that follow the metamorphosis of the butterfly:

Our metamorphosis journey will be formed by conversation, storytelling, art, and contemplation. In each phase, we'll be reflecting on the scripture from Isaiah 61:1-4: "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations."

Refer to these visuals above that illustrate the journey we will take together over the course of these gatherings: from egg to caterpillar, to chrysalis, to butterfly!

In each session, we will explore ways that we as survivors of sexual violence can find beauty, power, and purpose in transformation.

The Butterfly Hug Calm and soothe yourself with the butterfly hug, whenever you're feeling sad, angry or hurt.

While doing the butterfly hug, close your eyes. Using your imagination, go to a place where you can feel safe, calm and happy. What images, colours, sounds and scents do you observe in your safe place?

Cross both arms over your chest and place each hand on your shoulder. Inhale for 5 counts, exhale for 5 counts. Repeat 3 times. 2.

Gently begin tapping each hand, one at a time on your arms

while imagining your safe place. Affirm yourself by saying, "I am safe, I am loved, I am whole." Tap for 10 counts. 3.

Pause and inhale for 5 counts, then exhale for 5 counts. Continue tapping until your arms feel more relaxed.

Session 1 INHERENT DIGNITY

The Egg

TIME REQUIRED:

3.5 hours

GOALS:

Connect with your inherent worth, Connect with each other, Understand and explore your passions.

Minutes

Ice-Breaker In order to embark on this incredible journey, we need to get to know one another! Let’s play this game. Ask all participants to stand up. Each person should introduce their name and then say something good about themselves that starts with the first letter of their name. For example: My name is Chisomo and I am Creative or my name is Maambo and I am Marvelous. The rest of the participants can then sound wowed! Encourage an affirming and welcoming space. Continue in a circle until everyone has introduced themselves.

Introduction

Minutes

During our time together, we will be exploring the journey of transforming our suffering through the metamorphosis of a butterfly. Observe the images on the wall: the egg becomes a caterpillar, which becomes a chrysalis, and which transforms into a butterfly. What do you see? What do you think each phase has to say to us? What do you hope to learn through the metamorphosis of the butterfly?

Today, we will focus on the egg as we learn about our inherent dignity. What does it mean to have inherent dignity? How does this sometimes differ from what our cultures say about who we are supposed to be? What truly defines our sense of dignity? Write their answers on a flip chart or white board and draw from their answers to create a group definition of "inherent dignity."

Dignity is our image modeled after God's own likeness. Dignity is an inherent gift from God that cannot be taken away by poverty, violence, or oppression. We're going to watch a visual poem about a young girl who thinks about what it means to be a "good woman" based on what culture has told her. As you watch, think about how this connects or doesn't connect with our definition of dignity.

Inherent Dignity

Minutes

WATCH THIS VISUAL POEM ON YOUTUBE

I thought I knew all about what made me a woman. I wanted nothing more than to be one, a good one. Growing up, my aspiration was to be the best. The best cook, the best at keeping the house tidy. The best kind soul, the best personality. I wanted to show just how respectable I was. So, I followed the rules. They said close your legs, a good woman keeps hold of her purity. So, I did. They said cover up, a good woman does not make a man fall into sin. So, I did Because my body was a walking temptation and my responsibility was to make sure it was not loose. So, I sheltered them from my supremacy. I wanted to show how honorable I was. So, I tamed my tongue. They said a good woman builds a home and breaks it with her tongue.

So, I knew my words were powerful but that power needed to be controlled. So, I shut up. They said a good woman is a giver. So, I learned to deny myself but give myself out even when I had nothing left. I smiled even when I did not want to. I laughed, entertained comments that broke my spirit because a good woman is not too sensitive. So, I understood. Don’t ask me why I keep referring to myself as a woman. I am 16 years old and all I see around me are nuanced lessons of being a good woman. A good woman is a sight to behold. A good woman is at least respected. A good woman Is highly spoken of by the men on the road side playing draft. A good woman is strong as she takes upon every task with grace and no complaint. A good woman is not mistreated.If she is, at least she will not know. She will be sheltered from the pain. In my world, a good woman is the best that I can be.

Minutes

Conversation

After watching the poem, "Inherent Dignity" on Freely in Hope's YouTube Channel, facilitate a conversation to reflect on your experience.

Turn to the person next to you and share what stood out to you from the visual poem.

5 minutes

Discuss as a large group.

10 minutes

Turn to the person next to you and share how her definition connects or disconnects with our definition of dignity?

5 minutes

Discuss as a large group.

10 minutes

Dignity cannot be taken away by violence, poverty, oppression, or experiences. Dignity is an inherent gift from God. Our inherent dignity is not defined by what culture or other people say about us. Instead, we are worthy and deserving of goodness because we are good.

Art Practice Let's explore what our inherent dignity looks like. The Bible says that we are created in God's image—indeed, we are good! We are going to use art to connect with ourselves, our passion, and our worth. Since the theme for this section is recognising our inherent dignity, create an art piece that celebrates the beauty of who you are!

ART MATERIALS:

1 large piece of paper Paint, markers, colored pencils Magazines or newspaper Scissors Glue sticks

Minutes

Play inspirational music while you create!

USE THE MATERIALS TO EXPLORE:

What do you love about yourself? What makes you unique? What are your talents/skills/characteristics that make you proud?

Minutes

Storytelling In small groups, share your art piece. Each participant has 5 minutes each to share.

After someone shares, the group members collectively share 3 affirmations and ask 3 questions. For example: “I like the vibrancy with which you painted your face. It makes me think you have lots of energy and love to share through your passions. Do you ever share your singing in public? When did you learn how to paint?”

Our inherent dignity is defined by our unique stories, characteristics, and qualities that God has given us. We are loved, worthy, and good because of who God has created us to be.

Contemplation

Minutes

We Are Anointed Isaiah 61:1-2

In this prayer called Lectio Divina, there are five phases: Read, Reflect, Receive, Respond, and Rest. Before we begin, let's sit in a comfortable position with both feet flat on the floor, our spine upright, and head reaching to the heavens. Notice if there's any pain in your body and breathe into that space. We'll take 3 slow, deep breaths together. With every inhale and exhale, focus on your body and its connectedness to God who formed you in God's image. If you notice that your mind has wandered, gently bring your attention back to your breath. Imagine God breathing the breath of life into you. In this peaceful and restful state, we will begin our meditation together. I will read the scripture 5 times and guide you through each of the 5 readings. You may respond if you feel comfortable.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Read Isaiah 61:1-2a

In this first reading, simply listen to let the words wash over you: "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God." Reflect In this second reading, listen for a word or phrase that stands out to you. After the reading, you may share the word or phrase that stands out to you out loud.

Receive

In this third reading, listen to what God is saying directly to you through this passage. After the reading, you may respond with, "I hear..." Respond

In this fourth reading, listen to your heartfelt desire and respond to how God is speaking to you. After the reading, you may respond with, “I want to…” Rest

In this final reading, rest in gratitude with what you have heard from this scripture and the ways that God is directly speaking to you. Pay attention to how God is anointing your head to proclaim good news.

Session 2 SUFFERING INJUSTICE

The Caterpillar

TIME REQUIRED:

3 hours

GOALS:

Explore how we've suffered from injustice, Understand and articulate how suffering injustice, including sexual violence, does not minimize our inherent worth.

Ice-Breaker

Minutes

Let's stand up! We're going to play a game called:

I'M SOMEWHERE IN THE FUTURE! Instructions:

The ice breaker is a repeat after me song. Just do what I do and say what I say and do it exactly how I do it. Facilitator should encourage energy. Remember you can dance around, have attitude, or do anything fun as actions Facilitator should start the ice breaker quietly while getting louder until the energy changes. Facilitator: Facilitator: I’m somewhere! Girls: Girls: I’m somewhere! Facilitator: Facilitator: In the future! Girls: Girls: In the future! Facilitator: Facilitator: And I look much better than I look right now! Girls: Girls: And I look much better than I look right now!

*Feel free to change up the adjective! For example: "And I feel / walk / dance much better than I feel / walk / dance right now!"

Reflect What was your highlight from the last session? What did you learn about yourself?

Today, we'll be exploring the theme: Suffering Injustice, through the image of the caterpillar. What are some injustices that cause us to suffer? What are some things about the caterpillar that are

interesting to you? We'll be watching a visual poem that talks about suffering the injustice of sexual violence. If at any moment you feel uncomfortable, you are free to leave the room without judgment. Our team is here to support you as we talk about this difficult topic of sexual violence and how we can heal and move forward together. You can also practice the Butterfly Hug whenever you need to. Let's remember to keep this a healing and safe space for each other as we watch this visual poem.

20 minutes

Suffering Injustice

Minutes

WATCH THIS VISUAL POEM ON YOUTUBE

Take it off me! This skin, so dirty that soap can’t wash it out. How many times do I have to bath? It’s fine, I will settle for you to remove the heavy load off my shoulders. Because walking around with it is a burden I can no longer bear. My skin doesn’t only feel dirty but feels like a cage strangling my breath. I would love to say that I am a shell of myself but that I am not. I am carrying his hands, filthy, arrogant hands. I can feel every part of it on my body as he took hold of me like a new toy he was intrigued with, wanted to explore and as soon as he was done, I was broken and useless to him. I feel like I am constantly choking from the thought of what you did, Afraid to close my eyes because I will see you, See you exerting your power on me, See you stripping me of my humanity for pleasure. The worst thing is the only way I feel it will get better is if I go. By go, I mean die! Do I want to die by your hands? No! Would it have been easier? Yes! But living with these thoughts makes me fear for my life.

What if I will go at my own hands? I did everything right! I closed my legs, I covered up, I shut my mouth, I knelt down when I was called, I looked down when spoken to. What did I miss? I made him fall into sin. How could I have been so stupid? I met Bana Bupe on my way to the market. She said I am growing up into such a beautiful girl That’s it! It is my face, my ever-changing body that made him touch me. I should have known better. I should have added another layer of clothes. I should have not been standing so close to him. Now shutting my mouth up is not out of respect. I’m scared I will kill you. Because I can see who you really are. You made me believe this was my fault, that I deserved it, and my body was for the taking. I know it’s not true. I am not sure what womanhood looks like yet but I am ready to take on this journey and discover it.

Minutes

Conversation

After watching the poem, "Suffering Injustice" on Freely in Hope's YouTube Channel, facilitate a conversation to reflect on your experience. Break up into small groups and share:

In this poem, what resonated with you? What were some of the words in the poem that stood out to you? How have you viewed your body in light of trauma? What are you hoping to discover after suffering injustice? Come back to the larger group and invite people to share what they experienced.

Art Practice Two-Faced We are going to use art to explore the injustices and abuses we have suffered in our lives. We know that we are each beloved. We are created in God’s image. We are beautiful and whole. And yet, sometimes we feel broken. We have things we hide, or things we wish to hide. Have you ever felt two-faced? Have you ever felt comfortable showing the world one side of yourself, but not another? In this art activity, depict these two sides on either side of your paper plate.

ART MATERIALS:

Colored markers Paper plate Play inspirational music during this activity.

Minutes

Storytelling SMALL GROUPS

Share your art in small groups. Each participant should have equal time to share. After each person shares, snap quietly to affirm that they were heard. WHOLE GROUP

As a whole group, the facilitator opens it up for anyone to share with the whole group. Affirm each person who shared for their courage and creativity. Practice 3 rounds of the Butterfly Hug together and remind participants that they can connect with any of the facilitators during the break.

Contemplation

Minutes

We Are Comforted When We Mourn Isaiah 61:2b Let's close our eyes and take three deep breaths together. Notice the cool air moving through your nostrils on the inhale, and the warmth that you hold on the exhale. Isaiah 61: 2b says, “[He has sent me] to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion." With your eyes closed, imagine looking into the eyes of Jesus. What do you need him to be for you in this moment? Perhaps he is your comforter or provider, redeemer or protector. Take a moment to breathe in that name. Imagine that Jesus kindly looks back at you and asks, "What do you need from me?" It could be a word such as "love" or "peace," or it could be a phrase such as, "let me feel you" or "lead me into life." Listen closely to your heartfelt need from Jesus. Exhale that request. For the blind man on the road to Jericho, his prayer was, “Teacher, I want to see.” Whatever your prayer is, breathe in your name for Jesus, and exhale the request. In silence, we’ll practice this together for 5 minutes. Now, imaging that Jesus is calling you by name. What is the name he calls you? As he has listened to your heartfelt need, what is his response to you? What does he want you to know right now? Take a moment to listen to the voice of Jesus calling you by name and speaking to your heartfelt need. In silence, we’ll practice this together for 5 minutes. God, thank you for speaking to us through the rhythm of our breath which reminds us of how you are breathing healing in us even in our suffering. We are grateful for the ways in which you spoke to us today. Continue to bring healing in the areas that we need it most. Amen. Invite participants to share their experiences, the words or phrases they heard, or any deeper insight from this contemplation. To close, remind participants to be gentle with themselves as today's conversation may have sparked some difficult memories. Remind them that the leaders and counselors are available to support them through this process.

Session 3 BEAUTY OF TRANSFORMATION

The Chrysalis

TIME REQUIRED:

4 hours 30 minutes GOALS:

Craft and share our stories, Listen to the stories of others.

Art Practice We will begin this lesson by designing a t-shirt as our covering, just like the chrysalis. As the chrysalis protects the caterpillar in its process of transformation, this t-shirt symbolizes our own story of transformation. Each person will paint their black t-shirt with vibrant colors, images, or words to show how God covers our brokenness with beauty, joy, and praise. After painting, let it dry and we'll put it on later!

ART MATERIALS:

Black t-shirts Acrylic paint Paintbrushes

Hour

Ice-Breaker

Minutes

CHASE OUT GAME

The facilitator begins by dividing the larger group into groups of 5-6 people. Ask them to make small circles and face each other. Explain the rules: You will be told to find someone with a big foot in the group and then group members should chase them out like they don’t belong. The chased person should then go and join another group where someone got chased. No one should be moved out of the game before the game ends. Ask them to chase out someone with the biggest nose Chase out someone with dimples Chase out someone with the biggest eyes Chase out someone with the smallest ears, etc.

Reflect Have participants sit down and find out how many were chased once, twice, or more and those that were not chased at all. How did it make us feel when we were chased out? Even though other people might make fun of us because we are different, God created us with these differences and that’s what makes us beautiful, unique, and valuable. Even when others can’t see it, God accepts us just as we are—all of us! So instead of chasing each other away which makes us feel unaccepted, we can celebrate our differences! Beyond our physical bodies, we have a heart, mind, and soul that was made in God’s image. We are eternally loved, extremely valued, forgiven, accepted and called to represent the image of God in our world. Therefore, let's lavish ourselves and others with love and belonging. From our previous conversation, what did you experience, feel, or learn about yourself or others?

Today, we'll be exploring the chrysalis which is the protective layer that covers the caterpillar in its stage of growth. What happens when the caterpillar is in the chrysalis? Today, we will be hearing each other’s unique stories. Imagine we are all in this safe chrysalis listening and watching as we transform together. As we listen, let’s continue to uplift each other, to celebrate each other, and to value the uniqueness of each of our bodies, our personalities, and our stories.

minutes

Beauty of Transformation WATCH THIS VISUAL POEM ON YOUTUBE

I am still woman. And I know for years I have let you define what that looks like for me. But not any more. Your definitions failed me time and time again. Everything they taught me has been taken by this incident. I followed all the rules, but that was not good enough. They said how I kept my body defined my womanhood. Speaking when I am asked made me respectable. I will not live my life defined by your eyes. You said when one has been touched she is not desirable. Making it my problem when the shame isn’t mine to carry. No more will I carry burdens meant for the perpetrator on me.

Minutes

This is how womanhood is to me. My voice is not a danger to society, it is a threat to your ego and systems meant to oppress me. I will release my tongue from the hold of shame and let it find courage to express wisdom. My body, in spite of the pain you inflicted on it, is transforming in so many beautiful ways. I choose to embrace it without hating it. Walking with my head high is not disrespectful, it is my rightful power. You made me look down as a way to let so many things fly over me. Like words that broke me, that placed me under your control. I will look you straight in the eye. My spirit, crushed by your violence, took that hurt and transformed it into strength that will not only change my life, but that of others too.

Minutes

Conversation

After watching "Beauty of Transformation" on Freely in Hope's YouTube Channel, facilitate a conversation on storytelling. MY SPIRIT, CRUSHED BY VIOLENCE, TOOK THAT HURT AND TRANSFORMED IT INTO STRENGTH THAT WILL NOT ONLY CHANGE MY LIFE, BUT THAT OF OTHERS TOO.

Telling our stories is the first step to healing. We are now going to take time to reflect upon our own journeys of transformation thus far. In sharing our stories together, let's create a safe space where we can bring healing to each other. How will we explore our stories?

Why do we share our stories?

Write ideas on a flip chart. E.g. to heal, to name our truth to claim our power, to help others, to build bridges, to change the world... Recommended: The facilitator or a leader in the group can model and share their story using the framework. Having a powerful example will help establish a safe space for others to share!

The Butterfly Effect worksheet* provides a framework to help you share your survivor story. Use the stages of metamorphosis to guide your exploration and communication of your story. For each stage, there is a core question. There are also further probing questions to spark inspiration.

*Print out the worksheet on page 34

Storytelling Before you fill out the Butterfly Effect Worksheet, here are some helpful tips to share: Get Comfortable. Telling the truth is brave and challenging work. Make sure you are taking care of yourself through the process. Surround yourself with things that are soothing--whether that’s tea, music, a blanket, candles, an open window or a comfortable chair. Explore your journey. Allow yourself to revisit the events at each stage of metamorphosis by writing your story. Write what comes to mind. You can edit later and you don't have to share everything. Don’t get caught up in perfection. Allow yourself to revisit the events at each stage of metamorphosis by writing your story. Celebrate yourself. Wow! You are brave! This might be emotional. Take good care and celebrate every step of the way!

MATERIALS:

Minutes

Butterfly Effect worksheet for each participant (*page 34) Pens Markers

1.5 Hours

Storytelling TEMPERATURE CHECK: HOW WAS THAT FOR EVERYONE?

You can have everyone do a fist-to five or thumbs up or down to show how they feel, or ask everyone to use their bodies to show the emotion they most felt during the individual writing time. Use whatever strategy you like to hold space for participants to be metacognitive about that process. You can snap quietly, you can affirm with a verbal, "I see you, I hear you, I believe you." In groups of 3-4, participants can share. Everyone should have about 20 minutes to share.

STORYTELLERS WILL:

Use their brave voice and speak audibly! Pause or take a break whenever they want, Be comfortable. You may move and use gestures.

LISTENERS WILL:

Look at the storyteller, Refrain from speaking while the storyteller is sharing, Listen to empathize, Offer an affirmation when the storyteller is finished.

Reflection & Closing COME BACK FROM SMALL GROUPS TO DISCUSS:

What was that experience like for you? What were you surprised by? What were you encouraged by? What are you taking away from this experience?

Minutes 37

Contemplation

Minutes

"Instead"

Isaiah 61:3 Read Isaiah 61:3: "He has sent me to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." Think about the ways that you have felt beauty, ashes, joy, mourning, praise, and despair. Take two pieces of paper. On the first paper, write all the lies that were once labeled against you through people, the perpetrator, culture, society, media, thoughts of your own mind based on what you have been made to believe. What lies have made you feel like you were in mourning, despair, or that you were reduced to ash? These might include that you are not worthy, you are not valuable, you are good for nothing, etc. After you've written down all the lies and labels, bring them to the tray of dirt and burn them. Say this prayer: "God, your word says that you have provided me with beauty instead of ashes, joy instead of mourning, and praise instead of despair. I stand by this truth and render every lie on this paper void and without hold on me." On the other piece of paper, write truths about yourself and the truth of what God says about you. What are the truths about yourself that make you feel beautiful, joyful, and praise-worthy? Hold this paper in your hand and say this prayer: "God, thank you for giving me a crown of beauty, the oil of joy, a garment of praise, and the truth that I find in being transformed in you and by you. My process of transformation is beautiful, this is what I hold true about myself. Amen." Wear your t-shirts as the garment of praise that boldly shares your story of being transformed!

Session 4 HEALED TO HEAL

The Butterfly

TIME REQUIRED:

6 hours 45 minutes This section can be broken up into 2 or 3 sessions. Take breaks before the Ministry Project Planning and the Art Practice. GOALS:

Connect passion with purpose, Explore vocation by developing a ministry project, Realize our connected purpose of bringing healing to the world.

Minutes

Ice-Breaker I AM THE COMMANDER OF THIS ARMY! In this game, ask the participants to stand in a circle.

Instructions:

When I say I am the commander of this army, take your positions! You will all answer "Haaa!" and act like you have a gun in your hands and jump. When I say Makatiti, you will all jump three times to the left while screaming, "Makatiti, Makati, Makatiti, haaaaaa!" And pose. When this is repeated, you will move to the right. Now let's try this!

Reflect Thank you all for being so bold to share your stories and also to listen to each other with great compassion. Telling our stories is often the first step to healing and here, we are seeing this process of transformation in real life. What stood out to you from yesterday's experience? How did you feel when you shared your story and how did you feel when others shared their story?

What did you learn about yourself or about each other in the process? When we look at the image of the butterfly, what do we see? Now that you've been through the process of moving from an egg, to caterpillar, to chrysalis, what does the metamorphosis process look like in you? What might this image of the butterfly mean for ourselves? Today we will discuss the butterfly and what that means in our own journey of transformation and healing. Butterflies have intrinsic value. They are a highly diverse group with over 250,000 species! They play an important role in the ecosystem and are indicators of a healthy environment. In the same way, as we are emerging as butterflies, we have a role to play by contributing to our world's healing.

minutes

Healed to Heal

Minutes

WATCH THIS VISUAL POEM ON YOUTUBE

Dear sister, I know you feel alone. I know you do not understand what’s happening. I know it is tough. I know crying feels like the easiest thing to do. I know hurting yourself feels like the closest thing you will get to justice. I know you feel stuck. I know the world has defined you. I know people have made you feel it was your fault. I know the world makes you feel like you need saving. I know you question your future. I know you do not know who you really are or should be. You are not alone, I am here to walk with you. I will not be able to explain why it happened to you but I will use my experience to reassure you that it will get better. Do not doubt your strength, it will carry you through.

The shame is not for you to carry. Justice is letting the perpetrator carry it. You are not to blame, You did not ask for it. Your clothes had nothing to do with what happened. This does not describe you. There is more to you. I cannot wait for you to witness who you really are This world has been unfair to a number of women, producing a number of voices amplified. We are your pack. We will stand with you. We will fight with you. We will show you the beauty of expressing yourself fully. We will use our voices for you until you can. We will take the blows until you are ready to take it up. At the end, you and I and every other woman who has redefined womanhood will create a safe world for the next generation.

Minutes

Conversation Rebuild, Restore, Renew Isaiah 61:3b - 4

After watching "Healed to Heal" on Freely in Hope's YouTube Channel, facilitate a conversation on our vocation. What stood out to you in this poem? What does this poem say about our calling—our vocation—in this world?

Read Isaiah 61:3b-4:

“They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.”

If the “oaks of righteousness” are those who were once in poverty, violence, and oppression, what does that mean for us today? What does it mean for us who have experience trauma from sexual violence? What is our calling in this world?

Contemplation

Minutes

For today’s contemplation, we will be listening to the invitation to step into our calling —our vocation—that God has for us so that we can be vessels who bring healing to the broken. Remember, brokenness does not mean it’s useless when patched or mended. Its value becomes even greater than it was before. God is calling us to be co-laborers in our various vocations to rebuild, restore, and renew communities that have been devastated by violence. Today, we’ll be listening to God's voice. What is God calling us to? How is God inviting us to contribute to bringing about restoration and renewal to our communities and world? What is our role in using our unique roles, strengths, and stories? We are going to have some quiet time with God. Go to a place where you can be alone and listen to God’s voice.

In your journals answer:

What are your passions, strengths, gifts, and unique contributions that you bring to the world? What parts of your story can help someone else? What do you care about most? What injustices in the community makes you grieve, mourn, or angry? What needs does your community have? How can you co-create with God’s vision to respond to injustice through your unique story? Think about how you can achieve this. For inspiration, look at Psalms 82:4, Jeremiah 11:29, and Habakkuk 2:1-2. Writing down our plans is important for us to remember how God is speaking to us about our vocation.

GATHER BACK TOGETHER. Would anyone like to share their vocation they discovered? Proverbs 16: 3 says, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” Let’s commit our plans to the Lord together.

Ministry Project Planning WHAT IS OUR PURPOSE? Our purpose is more than just a profession. It’s God’s calling for our lives that contributes to better our communities. Our purpose allows us to partner with God to bring about justice in our world—restoring, renewing, and rebuilding places that have been devastated by violence. The purpose of this ministry project is to explore our calling through service. As God is inviting us to respond to our calling, we’ll plan a way to live that out by serving our community. Draw this venn diagram on a flip chart:

PURPOSE

As we’ve explored our passions, strengths, and stories in the last sessions, we are going to see what it looks like to put it to use in our communities. Our purpose is to bring about God's mission of justice to a world in need. In small groups, we'll be planning a ministry project that will build up our communities!

minutes

Note to Facilitator: It is up to you to divide participants into groups that make sense for your context. Groups can be either the same groups as throughout the retreat, or groups created by location of project implementation or groups created by area of interest. Please make sure that your team creates a strategy for group selection in advance. Provide each group with a few flip chart sheets and colored markers.

Ministry Project Planning In small groups, discuss these questions together and come up with a plan to use your unique experiences to respond to the needs of your community. Write your plan down on a flip chart! What are some challenges in your community that you care about? What gifts do we have? What do we love doing? What makes our stories unique? How will we respond to our community's needs through our stories? Create a plan of action!

1hr 15 minutes 46

Ministry Project Planning PRESENTATIONS

Each group presents their project Set a timer for each group.

40 minutes 47

Art Practice Set up the room with chairs around large tables in the center. Everyone should have enough room to work and create their art piece. We have journeyed together the last few days learning about our unique gifts, our experiences of suffering injustice, our stories of transformation, and our calling. We’ve shared our stories involving pain, transformation, and healing. We’ve learned how we are transforming into butterflies that bring healing to others. Now it’s time to imagine our future! Everyone gets one white tile. Place a piece of painter's tape diagonally across the tile to represent the pain that you’ve experienced. This symbolizes that even though there has been pain in our life, there is still so much room on our tile to create something beautiful. The rest of your tile is your blank slate to create your vision for yourself. Break up the colored tiles with a hammer. Do this carefully and safely! Glue the broken tiles pieces onto your white tile (work around the tape). Explore what you want to be true for yourself as an individual and how you hope to bring healing to your community and the world at large.

ART MATERIALS:

White square ceramic tiles (one for each person) Colored tiles Hammer Painters tape Glue

Hour 48

Closing Ceremony

Hour

Everyone can take the piece of tape off their tile as a symbol of lifting off the trauma from our stories and embracing the full vision for ourselves. Each participant shares their tile and their vision for themselves. Make sure to allot an equal amount of time for each participant to share. As each participant shares, they will connect their tiles on the table. When everyone is finished, this will create a beautiful, interconnected mosaic!

DISCUSS:

What do you see through all the pieces of art that we created? What does that mean for ourselves, our community, and our world at large?

The place where the tape was symbolizes our stories of pain. Sometimes it seems like our trauma impedes our vision, yet our shared pain is the very thing that is connecting us together to create this beautiful world. How will we remember our beautiful stories that are creating a more beautiful world? How will we remind ourselves of our story of transformation when we leave this place and go back to the real world? Take this tile home with you to remind you of your journey, your truth, your immeasurable worth, and your ability to bring about change in your life and in the world around you. Remember that you are never alone - you are interconnected with a global community of survivors of sexual violence who are rebuilding, restoring, and renewing places devastated by violence.

Closing Ceremony SAY THIS STATEMENT TOGETHER

25 minutes

We are your pack. We will stand with you. We will fight with you. We will show you that it is beautiful to express yourself. We will use our voices for you until you can. We will protect you until you are ready to be at the forefront. We will share our stories to create a safe world for the next generation.

Try holding each others hands and lifting them above your head as a physical practice of this statement! Close your time together by going around in a circle and sharing what you're grateful for from our experiences together.

The Butterfly Effect Worksheet Stage of the Story

Core Question to Explore Further Questions to Spark Inspiration

Who am I?

Egg: Inherent Diginity

What injustice did I suffer?

Caterpillar: Suffering Injustice

How am I transformed?

Chrysalis: Beauty of Transformation

How do I live my purpose?

During this part of your story, you can explore: Who am I according to me? What are my passions? What stories do I have that reveal my character, potential, and passions? Who am I according to my society? What messages did my culture tell me about my role or potential? Do I have a story from my family, church members, or friends? How did these messages shape me? The injustice that we've experienced may cause us to feel low like a caterpillar. Naming the abuse can help us heal and move forward. What abuse did I suffer? Did I feel like I lost my dignity? What names was I given by others? What injustices did I experience growing up?

This is a stage where we want more for ourselves. There may be a sense of discomfort because of the unknown. If there is more to me, what does that look like? How has my story shaped me into who I am today What makes me unique? What is the new name I would like to call myself that speaks the truth of who I am? How have I redefined my identity, values, and worth?

There are different types of butterflies with different colors and patterns but each one is still considered beautiful. We can thrive through our unique stories. In this part of your story, share how you are offering your purpose that is building a safer world.

Butterfly: Healed to Heal

What do you give yourself permission to do? What are your dreams for yourself and others? What is your vision for the world and how are you working to realizing that dream?

Egg INHERENT DIGNITY

Caterpillar SUFFERING INJUSTICE

Chrysalis BEAUTY OF TRANSFORMATION

Butterfly HEALED TO HEAL