COUPLES IN CRISES DURING COVID Over the past 12 months Covid-19 has created a lot of confusion and a firestorm of adjustments impacting couples and marriages at an unprecedented level. Anxiety and depression problems have skyrocketed due to job losses, losing friends and family to the disease, social isolation and the fear of contracting the virus. Anxiety and depression searches on Google since March of 2020 are at all time highs. For those searching for solutions and answers to a situation we never saw coming has stretched their ability to adjust to their mental limits. There is a mountain of stress that comes with a pandemic of this magnitude. Personal stress combined with pre-existing relationship issues are creating complex problems on the homefront. Working from home while trying to school children virtually creates competition for time and resources. Parents are being pulled in different directions and looking for some personal time has become nearly impossible. This potentially puts one or both partners in a marriage in jeopardy as “couple time” has become abandoned for the sake of finding personal time. The question is how do we sort all of this out and still have some sense of a decent marriage or relationship left?
The answers are not easy. Counselors are faced with new dynamics and having to reach outside the traditional therapy box to try and help those who are desperate for solutions. As the pandemic goes on, the pressure builds and the problems seem to be getting worse. Feeling trapped and stuck, partners are finding creative ways to get out of the home and seek some “me” time any way they can get it. Unfortunately this time spent outside the family and home can lead to even bigger problems such as substance use. In addition to anxiety and depression there appears to be an upturn in affairs as well. An increase in marital affairs during a pandemic may seem contradictory, but it’s happening. There seems to be an increase of high risk behaviors on top of high risk behaviors. Relationship problems are becoming more severe with domestic violence and a feeling of despair that client’s lives are completely unravelling. For example, infidelity has increased as relationships break down. Partners are seeking connection with someone who may be sympathetic to emotional disconnection from their primary partners. Additional stressors such as financial pressures puts strain on living conditions aggravating an already volatile situation. Counselors are conferring with each other looking for answers and coming up empty. We are in uncharted waters and some sessions are quickly becoming learning lessons for counselors and clients alike.
42 INSESSION APRIL 2021
