FISHBOWL MAGAZINE FEBRUARY 2022 by The Fishbowl Magazine

FEBRUARY 2022 FISSUE #161

Mel Williamson Passion for Paint page 3

Seth Shugar

A PRELUDE TO SELF-PARTNERING page 4

WHAT'S ON THE "ROCK"

page 9

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ur get yo

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Salt Spring Arts

presents

s The MMyILrYtDleAYSEVisENtTer BC FA

We acknowledge the financial support of the Province of British Columbia.

THE FISHBOWL • MAY 2021 • PAGE A

www.SSArtsCouncil.com

Monday FEB 15 | 2 PM

On Our Cover

Mel Williamson Passion for Paint

When Mel Williamson paints, she doesn't start by drawing or outlining her subject, but rather allows the image to gradually emerge. Her process is deeply connected with the material aspects of oil paint as a physical substance. Her work has a strong tactile element, inviting the viewer to share the experience of applying the brush to the canvas. “I am in love with the creamy nature of oil paint. I allow my process to show because I want to share the experience with the viewer. I often use large brushes or even spatulas and have experimented with smoother substrates, including aluminum and synthetic paper, to exaggerate the sensual properties of oil paint.” Mel is proud to have been born on Salt Spring Island. After graduation, she moved to Vancouver to study and work in the field of graphic design and illustration, before returning home to raise her family. While maintaining a freelance design business, she rediscovered her love of painting through weekly life-drawing sessions at the Salt Spring Painters Guild. After winning several awards at local juried shows, and gaining gallery representation, she has transitioned to painting full-time. Her success and recognition have been growing steadily since winning “Best Work on Canvas” in 2013 at the Sidney Fine Art Show, her first ever juried event. After a successful solo show at a local coffee shop, Matt Steﬃch asked her to join his Grace Point gallery in 2014. Matt’s early support and guidance was foundational. She has been a successful mainstay at Steﬃch Fine Art ever since, with new floral works currently on display. An exciting new body of work will be exhibited at Peninsula Gallery in Sidney, where she is also represented. Owner Vivian Chen, like Matt, bravely encourages Mel to pursue any subject of interest, in this case the

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nude human figure. Her solo show will be up for the month of February, with the artist in attendance on Saturday the 12th and 19th. Mel studies fine art relentlessly through books and online, hosts weekly life-drawing sessions, and has attended dozens of workshops near and far with renowned artists. She recently received a grant from the Salt Spring Arts Council to attend Whidby Island Fine Art School, won a full scholarship to the Portrait Society of America Conference, and was given a subsidized spot in a week-long workshop with Jeremy Mann at Menorca Pulsar, in Spain. You can find Mel working at Dragonfly Art Supplies, her favourite store on Salt Spring. Mel's passion for promoting oil painting and drawing has led her to teach workshops on Salt Spring and in Vancouver, with online options coming this summer. Sign up for her newsletter through her website, and watch for her latest work on Instagram and Facebook. Mel Williamson is represented by Steﬃch Fine Art on Salt Spring Island and Peninsula Gallery in Sidney, BC. Instagram: @melpaints Facebook: @melpainting Website: www.melpaints.com

THE FISHBOWL is brought to you by publisher Genevieve Price.

Ad Sales: Deadlines are the 10th of the month previous to book ad space & submit content.

Columnists: Seth Shugar, Mishka Campbell, Jen Redpath, Jessica Terezakis & nora bouz.

Calendar events can be submitted up until the 15th.

Green Printing & Layout: Imagine That Graphics.ca

For rates & information call Genevieve today at 250.538.8427 or email thesaltyﬁshbowl@hotmail.com. THE FISHBOWL • MAY 2021 • PAGE B

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Sweet Spot with Seth Shugar It was an unfortunate error on behalf of our editor that Seth’s December article ran for a second time in January. Read Part two below.

A Prelude to Self-Partnering Long before Emma Watson popularized the term “selfpartnered” or Lizzie “put the sing in single” or Byron Katie reminded us that we’re the ones we’ve been waiting for, there was a little kids book by Shel Silverstein called The Missing Piece Meets the Big O. And the book sought to teach children (and their parents) one of the most profound lessons about love that life has to offer. The hero of the tale, the Missing Piece, wants to roll, but because it’s shaped like a piece of pizza it thinks it can’t roll on its own, so it embarks on a doomed quest to find someone round who is missing a piece just its size. But no mate, no matter how perfect, can deliver the lasting sense of satisfaction it longs for. Until something extraordinary happens: the Missing Piece meets the Big O, a character who, true its name, is shaped just like a big O; it is big and whole and complete. And it doesn’t need anyone outside itself because it has learned to go inside itself and meet its own needs and be its own primary caretaker. Which is not to say that it has pulled up the drawbridge on relationships or retreated into a narcissistic, mirror-gazing fortress. No, it wants to roll with someone. It just wants that someone to be able to roll on their own, meet their own needs, be their own primary caretaker. So the Big O gently rejects the Missing Piece. And it is precisely this excruciating yet exquisite experience of both suffering (it has been spurned by the partner of its dreams) and promise (it has glimpsed a radical new way of both being and being-inrelationship) that eventually ignites a truly promising new quest. But before it can embark on this quest, Silverstein writes, “For a long time, it just sat there.” After lightning strikes, it takes some time before the thunder begins to rumble. Nothing in its life or the broader culture has prepared the Missing Piece for this pivotal moment. Its whole life it has been trying to find someone or something outside itself to fulfill it. And now, in a painful but precious period of incubation, it begins to dawn on the Missing Piece that it has been missing a very important piece of the puzzle indeed. Not only has its fundamental assumption been fundamentally flawed – the attempt to extinguish dissatisfaction by attaining the object of desire simply does not work – but it has seen with its own eyes that there is another, better way: like the Big O, it can go inside itself and be its own primary caretaker before re-turning to a romantic partner, who it may then regard as a secondary caretaker. And it is this radical realization that ultimately prompts the Missing Piece to take the first step in a process that will eventually culminate in a glorious vision of two self-partnered beings rolling in partnership. And it is to this sublime vision that we will turn in the next instalment of The Sweet Spot. Seth is a Registered Clinical Counsellor, Marital and Family Therapist and Board Certified Life Coach. He works with individuals and couples in private practice. You can reach him at sethshugar@me.com or book a session at www.sethshugar.com

THE FISHBOWL • FEBRUARY 2022 • PAGE 4

Family Day Event

Salt Spring Arts is thrilled to present The Myrtle Sisters in “… putting the “awwww” back in awkward…” The Myrtle Sisters, featuring Candice Roberts, Nayana Fielkov, and Kat Single-Dain, are a trio of east Vancouver / SSI performers delighting audiences of all ages with their harmonies, twinkling-tap numbers and family antics! They’ve been showcasing a clowning, vaudeville and dance menagerie of musical calamity for over 10 years in a variety of venues. Expect plenty of charm and shenanigans along with their original and historic songs and dances. The music stands on its own, but their onstage family antics, tap stylings and wild tunes are not to be missed. Our Family Day performance is typically an in-person event, however, due to the changing factors around the pandemic, we may shift to an online streamed format. Regardless, the show will go on at 2 pm on Monday, February 21st. Stay tuned for more details. We are grateful to the Province of British Columbia which provided Salt Spring Arts with funding in support of our free, community Family Day event.

What brings you joy? The dictionary definition of self care is "the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health". Don't mix up self care with being selfish, indulgent and definitely don't get it confused with pampering. Self care looks different for everyone! For some it is scheduling a few hours for physical exercise, or the simple ritual of a quiet cup of coffee before everyone gets up, and for many self care comes in the form of a beauty routine.

Artists in Residence (AiR)

The Salt Spring Arts AiR Program is running despite the pandemic, but not without some changes. Julie Burtinshaw, the award-winning author of seven books, six of them novels for young adults, including The Darkness Between the Stars and The Perfect Cut, amongst others, will be working on her next project right here on Salt Spring Island for the month of February. Her artist talk will be via zoom at 7 pm on Tuesday, February 15th. Submissions are now open for the sixth year of the AiR Program on Salt Spring Island with a deadline of March 1st, 2022. The AiR program provides time and space for creativity and productivity as well as introduces visiting artists to Salt Spring Island and its arts community. Residencies are awarded based on artistic merit, potential links to the Salt Spring community, collaborative opportunities, and available facilities. This year the program offers Summer Residencies and Pop-up Projects, both of which are available to Salt Spring artists as well as national and international artists. Summer Residencies are open to visual artists under 30 years of age, who have either studied in their field at a post-secondary level or an equivalent study experience. Pop-up Projects are short-term in nature. They can be anything from workshops, performances, talks, or other interactions with the Salt Spring community. For more information: https://ssartscouncil.com/

With our busy lives and hectic schedules, that often revolve around everyone other than yourself, it is even more important than ever to take some you time to recharge. Studies have shown that when you look good you often feel more confident. People with a positive view of themselves tend to eat better, sleep better and overall take better care of themselves. Salons and spas are a great place to relax, tune out the busy world and do something that brings YOU joy. At the Beautique we are constantly updating our education and researching the latest trends to keep you looking and feeling your best. So don't hesitate to schedule yourself some beauty therapy, find us at thebeautique.ca and book yourself a little you time!

THE FISHBOWL • FEBRUARY 2022 • PAGE 5

Well Being Interior Design with nora bouz

Beating the Winter Doldrums The Winter doldrums or seasonal depression, stem from the same cause: sensitivity to the lack of sunlight that results from Winter's "shorter" days and disrupts our circadian rhythm, or internal body clock. You know the feeling: You're more tired these days, maybe anxious or moody. Snuggling up with some snacks or other sweet and high carb fare sounds better than tossing together a salad and hanging with the crowd. Your sexual appetite may be on a diet, or even fasting. It's harder to get out of bed, and when you do, your mood resembles what you see outside, cold, dark, and nasty. That's the problem: The gloom caused by Mother Nature each winter in much of the country is biologically felt to some degree by an estimated one in four of us. For me, it starts in November, through February and then magically with the onset of Spring, the sluggish feelings lift. I am not a mental health professional but I am human and I know January and February can be some of the hardest months for mental health and overall well being. We find ourselves inside more, now we have the added factor of Covid measures limiting our connection and taking away our fitness options. So how do I keep my spirits up get through the Winter doldrums? Let’s start with the obvious, accept it, embrace it, catch up on sleep, quality sleep, put down the phone, pick up a book and tuck in early. I walk, even just to the end of the driveway, I get up, I breath deep and I shift my perspective. Of course a good hike really gets my head straight but life does not always allow time for that. Take Vitamin D, the sunshine drug and on nicer days, get outside! Check out the fab column next to this for other cool tips. Drink water, water will kick start your mind and body. Start your morning with a big glass, before your coffee, and set the tone for the rest of the day. Speaking of water, if I am really in a funk, or stuck I take a bath or shower. Think of it as a reset. Or try something entirely new, like cold plunging, brrr, but we hear it’s fantastic! And last, connect! Call a friend, facetime or just text, but reach out. Keeping that human connection going is key for our well being. I have a phone buddy and we chat almost every night on the drive home. We both get a chance to share any stressors from the day and support each other by just listening. **If you are experiencing long lasting feelings of depression or thoughts of suicide please see your doctor or call 911.

THE FISHBOWL • FEBRUARY 2022 • PAGE 6

Let there be light! Bringing Vitality during Winter Through Lighting Design Our relation with our surroundings is intertwined and interchangeable. We are impacted by everything as we impact everything. Our relation with nature radically determines our bodily functions, emotions, thoughts, and behaviour. And one of these essential elements is light. Our dependency on natural light goes beyond facilitating visibility and production of vitamin D; natural light triggers the release of certain hormones in our bodies that affect our feelings and moods and regulate our circadian rhythm. Our retinas need to see sunlight for at least 30 minutes a day. This informs the brain that it is daytime. Let’s get going; we have work to do! Serotonin and other hormones get produced; they regulate our wake/ sleep cycle, energy level, mood and vitality. When our eyes don’t see natural light, the body doesn’t produce these hormones, which causes a decrease in energy level, sombre moods, the need to sleep, and in some cases, causes Seasonal Affected Disorder. The most impactful sunlight is when the sun is highest in the sky. This is a cool white with a colour temperature of 6000 Kelvin. In comparison, the colour temperature of light at dawn and dusk is 2600 Kelvin. This light is soft and warm. So what do we do during the winter months when we don’t see the sun for days and weeks? This is where Lighting Design comes in. Here are 4 tips to help you successfully plan the lighting at your home for enhancing your mood: 1 – Include a variety of fixtures for the main functions: General, Ambient and Task. These fixtures are: recesses or hidden, pendants or chandeliers, wall sconces, spotlights, art lights, floor and table lamps. 2 - Include lighting fixtures with a variety of colour temperatures for the different times of the day, and always use dimmers for general and mood lighting to control the brightness: 1. Cool light during the day, colour temperature around 5000 kelvin 2. Warm light during the early morning and evening, colour temperature around 2700 kelvin 3. And dimmed light at night In the middle of the day, dimmed lights drain our energy, and cool white light causes insomnia at night. 3 - Make sure the light strength/brightness is suitable for the different ages and vision needs. As we age, our pupils get smaller and let in less light. By the time we reach 80, we need 6 times more light than we did in our twenties. 4 - Select lighting fixtures that obscure or diffuse the naked bulb as well as complement the aesthetics. Don’t hesitate to use a lighting fixture as a design feature. We are designed to thrive in the natural environment and live harmoniously with its cycles. As our contemporary lifestyle dictates spending most of our time indoors, mindfully selecting interior design elements that connect us with nature and its processes is essential to our quality of life and vitality. Nora is an interior designer focusing on well-being in the built environment. Based on studies in environmental psychology, natural building, and sustainability, Nora works with the most impactful design elements to improve the quality of life indoors. 250-418-0754 norabouz@lucidaforwellbeing.ca | www.lucidaforwellbeing.ca

Live on Stage in February Our Steinway is getting ready for visits from two masters of the piano this month. Two musicians at the height of their powers, albeit with wildly different playing styles. One of the world’s leading concert pianists, Angela Hewitt, comes to ArtSpring on Friday February 11. With a wide-ranging repertoire,

p h o t o c re d i t j i m m y k at z

and frequent appearances in recital and with major orchestras throughout Europe, the Americas, and Asia, Hewitt is also an awardwinning recording artist whose performances of Bach have established her as one of the composer’s foremost interpreters. In 2015 she was inducted into Gramophone Magazine’s Hall of Fame thanks to her popularity with music lovers around the world. Described as “one of the busiest pianists on earth” (London Evening Standard), Hewitt is not only a musician but an artistic director (of a music festival in Italy), and a nurturer of new talent, with masterclasses around the world and online. Her full schedule means Salt Spring is one of just three stops on her Canadian tour (along with Toronto and Halifax) – we’re excited to be her West Coast choice! Later in the month sees the return of Michael Kaeshammer – a regular visitor to ArtSpring whose unpredictable shows are always thrilling to witness – does anyone remember the standout trombonist from his show here in 2019? Kaeshammer was a child prodigy in his native Germany, playing club, theatre, and festival stages throughout

Europe in his early teens. Emigrating to Vancouver in the mid 90s and hanging out at the city’s music bars and clubs opened his eyes to a way of making a living from his passion, and allowed his development into an unparalleled pianist and virtuosic songwriter. His musical style weaves threads of classical, jazz, blues, boogie-woogie, stride, and pop.

photo cre d it tine acke

It’s incredibly hard to define him, but it’s a signature and much soughtafter sonic tapestry. Come and watch him sit down – and stand up – at the Steinway with complete mastery of 12 notes across 88 keys. It’s a pure joy. ArtSpring Presents Angela Hewitt, Friday February 11, at 7:30pm. Proudly sponsored by Joan Farlinger and Michael Pidgeon. and Michael Kaeshammer, Saturday February 26, at 7:30pm. Proudly sponsored by Kate Merry and John Moore. Box Oﬃce - tickets.artspring.ca | 250.537.2102 | tickets@artspring. ca Proof of full vaccination (seven days after second dose) is required for every patron age 12+ attending events. Patrons age 19+ are also required to show a piece of valid government photo ID. Face masks are mandatory at all times for everyone age 5+. See our website artspring. ca for more information. 100 Jackson Ave, Salt Spring Island, B.C., Canada, V8K 2V8 Administration: 250.537.2125 | info@artspring.ca Box oﬃce: 250.537.2102 | tickets@artspring.ca artspring.ca

THE FISHBOWL • FEBRUARY 2022 • PAGE 7

Cold Plunging

We all have that one crazy friend. You know the one, the one that jumps out of the hot tub into the snow and rolls around for a minute. I’ve gone from the sauna to a cool shower but never thinking to myself that I should do this regularly. I always thought the polar bear swim was nuts, I am not in fact a polar bear and as people squeal with glee and horror I’ve always stood there wondering why?? Well now we have a name for these people they are called Cold Plungers. And these people are jumping into Winter waters on the regular, not just once a year. So why cold plunge?? Everybody has their own method for waking up; double shots of espresso, a quick workout, and so on. If you’re looking for a quick start to your morning, however, cold plunging might just be the answer. Many people turn to cold plunging when looking for a new way to boost their daily energy! Plunging into cold water triggers the production of the neurotransmitter norepinephrine, a critical chemical in the body that helps regulate attention, focus, and energy! Swimming or submerging in cold water has gained popularity with the mainstream and many islanders as a way to boost immune systems, build resilience to stress, and treat inflammation, especially during the pandemic as people search for simple, close-to-home ways to improve their wellbeing. Cold plunging can come in many forms; a cold shower, ice barrel, cryotherapy, cold water tank, or a jump into a cold lake or even the ocean. 8 Health Beneﬁts of Cold Therapy • improves cardiovascular circulation • improves lymphatic circulation • boosts metabolism, lowers blood sugar, and can help with weight management • reduces inflammation and pain • improves immune response • improves mental focus • boosts your mood • improves mental resilience Will you take the plunge??

Jen’ll Tell Ya Featuring Jen Redpath & Jessica Terezakis

Sexuality through the lifespan. Sexuality is part of the human experience and it contains many facets that often change over time. We can imagine it like a giant moving puzzle, with genitals and chromosomes just making up the biological component. It is important to note that there are many things that can influence our sexuality over time, including our culture’s social constructs and beliefs about aging. Sexuality is expressed throughout our lifetime. Scientists have discovered that while in utero, fetuses have been studied releasing oxytocin while stimulating their genitals! Yet despite knowing this, an unfortunate shift happens in our culture as people age: we tend to strip people of their sexuality the older they get. The good news is that most people continue to be sexually active throughout their lives if they choose to be, with many seniors continuing to have active healthy sex lives. There are a number of reasons why we desexualize older adults. As a culture we do not value their sexuality, we do not deem them as ‘attractive’ as young folks who are in their reproductive years, and the media often only shows young, fit, and heterosexual people being sexual. We also continue to only recognize sex as a reproductive act; those out of their reproductive years are engaging in sex solely for pleasure and it is still diﬃcult for many people to embrace that idea. There are also bodily changes with aging that often go without recognition, except of course in Viagra and Cialis ads! As they grow older, people with penises will experience an increase in time between erections, known as the refractory period. This is too often framed as something to be ashamed of, when in fact, we know that sex and intimacy go far beyond just erections. Our cultural definitions of sexual activity need to be expanded to include other types of sexual activities with more focus on all erogenous areas (and we have many!) Yay for foreplay! For people with ovaries, menopause occurs at some point in midlife usually ranging from 40 to 60 years of age. Menopause occurs when there is a decrease in the hormones and is classified as menopause when a person has not had a period in 12 consecutive months. One side effect of the decrease in hormones is a decrease of vaginal lubrication, which can greatly impact sexual activity. Using lubrication (which is great for people of any age!), or topical hormones can provide the slipperiness needed for pleasure during sexual activity. There are many studies that suggest that orgasms are beneficial for brain and body health, especially as we age. For those who are not partnered, or who would like additional pleasure, self-love or masturbation may be the answer. Other kinds of touching like, cuddling, hugs, and holding hands are other examples of how we can show affection to those we love. Remember, connection and intimacy can come in many forms, it doesn’t just have to be about sex.

Stay Sexy Salty! THE FISHBOWL • FEBRUARY 2022 • PAGE 8

What’s Happening

on the Rock

February Live Entertainment Salt Spring Gallery Events For the Love of Art Gallery Artists Wed Feb 16 - Wed March 16, 2022 135 McPhillips Ave www.saltspring.com

MOBY's Live Entertainment Every Tuesday Trivia 730pm Every Wednesday Music Bingo 730pm Friday, February 4 Vixx 730pm Friday, February 11 The WannaBeatle2 730pm Friday, February 18 Mike and Margo 730pm Friday, February 25 Ollie Happyness 730pm

Looking Up 7 (lobby exhibition) Bill Underwood and Suzanne Prendergast Tue-Thu February 1-28 | 10am-1pm and before theatre events

February Oﬀerings

From my Kitchen

With Genevieve Price My grandma DeeDee always made bone broth. I remember the smell so distinctly as the beef marrow bones roasted in the oven. Not a delicious smell but a familiar smell. As an adult I was turned on to bone broth by the wonderful team at Heart & Bone previsions in Ganges. I read Dr. Kellyann’s Bone Broth Diet book and even followed her bone broth cleanse. I really learned the benefits of bone broth. Now, especially in the winter months I make my own bone broth. I use it for soups stews and sauces freezing it in gallon jars small jam jars and ice cube trays which I then transfer into Ziploc bags. Knowing where my food comes from is important to me. What is Bone Broth? Bone Broth is a savory, nutrient dense, and collagen rich liquid made from simmering marrow-rich animal bones (beef, chicken, turkey, pork) in water for an extended period of time. In addition to bones, vegetables like celery, carrots, and onions, fresh herbs, and garlic for extra flavor and nutrition. Since bone broth is often graded by how gelatinous it is upon cooling, sometimes apple cider vinegar or white vinegar is added in small amounts to help break down the animal proteins. This aided breakdown helps provide a broth higher in protein and collagen. Making bone broth is a lengthy process. I start by roasting six or eight soup bones bought at the grocer. I roast them low and slow for a couple of hours. And then let them cool, I place them in my crockpot, my preferred cooking vessel, then fill the crockpot 3/4 full of water and add a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar. The Apple cider vinegar works better when applied to cool not hot water. Next I like to add my vegetables onion skins carrot ends and peels celery stocks and if I haven’t saved up enough produce scraps I simply cut an onion, carrots and such and pop them in. This just simply increases the nutritional value of your final product. From here the process is simple I leave it on high for six hours stirring occasionally, turn the crockpot on low or warm for the night and then crank it up again in the morning. I suggest salting the broth in the first six hours has it helps the flavours meld. After 18 to 24 hours of simmering let it cool to the point it is manageable but not forming a gelatinous film. I recommend straining your broth for a better quality easier to use final product. From there transfer into the container you will store it in. I usually make a soup that very first day. My favourite over the winter is a curried butternut squash. It warms you from the inside out.

Tuesday, February 8 The Poetry of Presence

Online on Zoom 7pm to 8:30pm A poem of presence may initiate what is known in Zen as a satori, a flash of insight or awakening. Such a poem might recount a morning walk through a forest, peering at the stars spinning overhead in the night sky, or the last moments of someone we love. We awaken from our slumber and perceive ourselves and the world around us in new and sometimes profound ways. For our evening together, please bring a poem or two of this nature to share or join us to hear and respond to poems brought by others. The evening will be facilitated by poet Lorraine Gane. Please register at staroftheseassi@gmail.com to receive the Zoom link. Donations for participation in this event are welcome.

THE FISHBOWL • FEBRUARY 2022 • PAGE 9

ASK

ANAÏS FLEUR SACRED SEXUALITY AND INTIMACY COACH

The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles

Mishka’s

Book

Reviews with Mishka Campbell

The Dance of Relationship At first glance, the dance of relationship appears to be like the solo lambada. We are dancing alone with a partner intermittently engaging with us when they feel drawn in, but upon further examination, it is more like the tango; everything we do, think, and feel, as well as the state of our sexual energy, is mirrored by the other. To dance the tango with our beloved, we need to examine and take seriously whether we want a relationship at all, how to keep erotically engaged, how to master the transmutation of sexual energy, and how to communicate non-violently. Looking to the work of Esther Perel, psychotherapist specializing in sexuality, we see that our erotic spark with our beloved has more to do with mystery and the unknown about him than the cozy nest that we try so desperately to create in our intimate relationship. In relating to another human being in an intimate way, much can be taken from wisdom of the past. We study the Taoist practices of Mantak Chia and his protegé, Minke de Vos to find that our immortality and vital energy is dependent on Ching, our sexual energy, and the ability to transmute it into Jing, life force energy, or into Shen, spiritual energy. Sex and orgasm play an important role in having robust energy. Having the honour of learning from Caffyn Jesse, local sexologist, I came to understand that we need to heal our deep wounding and begin to lovingly allow more pleasure and safe touch in order to express our authentic selves in life, and to be empowered with true choice and voice in our erotic encounters. I have been examining communication with my partner and have become acutely aware of the impact of the subtleties of what our energies and our words have on the safe and stable container necessary for profound intimacy. In order to clearly see into another, we need to fine tune the following skills: attuning our inner ear to the other, noticing changes in their breath that signify their feeling, watching for shifts in their facial expressions such as the furrowing of their brows in frustration as they try to be understood and loved and seen, accurately interpreting body language such as the lifting and tightening of their shoulders in defense as they are not feeling safe from hearing something that hurt and feeling in one’s own body the tingling of love and fire when looked at with love and desire. We can truly celebrate the beauty of relationships by enjoying the polyphonic sounds emanating deep from within the orchestral pit as we swirl around on the stage in a harmonic dance with our lover.

I extend an invitation for us to keep the conversation going. Join me in a 45 minute free Discovery call. www.anaisﬂeur.com

THE FISHBOWL • FEBRUARY 2022 • PAGE 10

As anyone who has read “A Gentleman in Moscow” or “Rules of Civility” can attest, Amor Towles is an incredibly talented author. He has an almost old fashioned way with words. His work is elegant, wholesome, and even if it contains a twist, there’s no tendency towards shock value tactics. I had high expectations of this, his newest novel. I didn’t even know what it was about before I bought it, but it’s provenance was enough to sway me to click “add to cart”. However, it’s diﬃcult for me to admit that although I really, really wanted to, I just didn’t like it. Where to begin? A young man, Emmett, has just finished serving his time at a work farm (like rural juvie), and is being driven home by the warden, where he’s about to take custody of his younger brother, Billy. It’s the mid-fifties in Nebraska and for these parentless boys, whose family farm is about to be repossessed, the prospects seem dim. Enter two friends from juvie, who reveal themselves to have hidden away in the car the warden used to drive Emmett home. These stowaways have a grand scheme that if successful, will give them all the ability to cash in and begin living their dream lives. And so begins the adventure along the Lincoln Highway that propels this narrative, told in chapters that alternate points of view between the multiple characters we’ve been introduced to. What I found challenging (read actively disliked) was the 1950s gee whiz mister dialogue and attitudes. There were acts of violence that didn’t feel realistically gritty. Other sequences should have been shocking to read but instead felt infantilized and therefore just didn’t work. This novel broaches some serious themes but it comes across as a weirdly sanitized version of what life was actually like back then, for women, people of colour, or those living in poverty. Experiencing any single one (let alone all) of the events in this book would be unbelievably traumatizing and not at all the farcical romp that this story would like to lead us on. As engaging as the writing is (and it’s pretty great) I struggle with accepting at face value the authenticity of this tale. Is this meant to be a fable or a parable of sorts? I can’t tell. Maybe “The Lincoln Highway” just isn’t the road for me.

Scopes Brought to you by our own in-house astrologer who now goes by her numerologically correct name of “Ya Righta”

 Aries

A harrowing struggle in which

 Libra If you can’t see what the fuss is

a masked assailant tries to

all about this week, try thinking

suﬀocate you with a pillow

about it from someone else’s

turns out to be only a dream, or so you’ll believe until the terrifying

discovery

the

pillow in your bed.

point of view.

 Scorpio You are not the person you once were, try to reﬂect those

 Taurus

changes, they weren’t good ones

Don’t trust anyone today.

and you may need to try again.

 Gemini

Someone will approach you

 Sagittarius

today with an attitude you

Stay inside until today is all over

cannot get on with at all. We’re

and done with.

sorry it looks like you also call this person honey…

 Cancer Your be

stupidity

rivalled

only

 Capricorn Dogs can be a man’s best friend

today by

will your

embarrassment.

 Leo

Waiting for your loved one to come to you could be a big

or a woman’s best friend. They could also be a child’s best friend, or a cat’s best friend. Dogs are totally ﬂexible.

 Aquarius Don’t trust this horoscope. Just

mistake.

don’t - okay?

 Virgo

 Pisces

The odds of you surviving the

“Headlice!” is not something to

day with your sanity intact are

be screamed in terror at the

pretty low.

local bus stop.

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