Issue 66 | Family Times Dunedin | Summer 2015 by Family.Times

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inside this issue

From the editor Contents It seems almost incongruous to be thinking about the joyful Christmas season and the challenges of parenting alone at the same time.

Features

6 Over-praising kids

et that’s what many New Zealand families are doing at this exact moment and that’s the reason why we’ve chosen to focus on both of these topics in our summer edition of Family Times. Christmas can be a particular emotive time for families; whether it’s enjoying the company of visiting relatives or keenly feeling the absence of others, perhaps a parent or grandparent who has passed on. But few things are more contentious for separated parents or blended families than making care arrangements for children over Christmas and the following holidays. In fact, making any kind of care arrangement can be a nightmare of epic proportions in some situations. So this issue we decided to talk with one of New Zealand’s top mediators and resolution specialists, Timothy McMichael. Timothy exclusively gives Family Times readers his advice on how to manage some of the more challenging situations of family break-ups – how to communicate, what to do when one parent is not living up to their child care responsibilities, how to negotiate solutions, and most importantly, how to put your children first and protect them as much as possible. One of the points that Timothy argues that is probably un-PC (and therefore I immediately loved it) and seldom mentioned is that kids are affected by divorce and separation, and

4 Parenting separated

The good, the bad and the ugly of parenting alone.

Positivity gone too P.C backfires, experts say.

7 Minding manners much more so than what society would have us think. I’ll never forget how incensed a relative of mine was after coming home from a Parenting Through Separation course and being told that divorce had no long-term effects on children. “They obviously have never met my children,” she said. It seems to me that the Kiwi attitude of calling a spade a spade would be more useful here than a head-in-the-sand attitude – certainly for our kids. Timothy says that learning to put aside adult problems in order to get the best resolution for children in separation is one of the hardest things to accomplish – but the most important to do. For the full story, check out our main feature on parenting alone this issue. Then for a more festive flavour, check out our calendar of Christmas events in your area and get some ideas on home-made gifts that you can create with your kids. Plus, we’ve got a full calendar of events and entertainment, competitions, giveaways and much more. Merry Christmas everyone!

The most important niceties your kids should know.

8 Too posh to push?

Why more Kiwi women are choosing elective caesareans.

8 Breast milk banks

More vulnerable babies are getting nature’s best.

9 Open-plan classrooms

What the learning revolution means for your kids.

15 Sustainable Christmas gifts

Make fun, cute and useful home-made notebooks with your kids.

16 Mums in business

Pineapple Heads founder Megan Sanders talks about being a working mum.

16 Desperately seeking Zzzzzzzz’s

What to do when your child won’t sleep.

17 Kids say the darndest things

We’ve got a few funnies from your littlies to tickle your sense of humour.

19 Let’s go camping

Check out these fun camping activities to keep littlies occupied.

Special features 18 Alps to ocean

Plan a stunning family cycling holiday from Mt Cook to Oamaru.

Kids’ Time

10 Puzzles and competitions

7 Resource information 9 12 13 14 17 20

School term dates Calendar of events Entertainment Spirit of Christmas Help is at Hand Top reads

About Us Publisher Robyn Willis Design & Production Moody Shokry Advert Production Target Press Production Office Editor Vanessa O’Brien Contributing writers Craft Lisa McKenzie

Parenting Marcia Johnson & Alexandra Constantine Camping Sadie Beckman Digital Manager Kate Gorman Media Executives Sonia McManus, Nicky Barnett, Olwyn Knowler, Wendy Thomson. Office Manager Raelyn Hay Executive Assistant Jackie Pithie Reach us at:

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day. 12,566 are circulated through early childhood centres, primary and intermediate schools, The Dunedin City Event Shop, selected medical and midwifery premises and McDonalds Restaurants. The opinions expressed in this publication are not those of the publisher unless indicated otherwise. No part of this publication may be reprinted without the expressed written permission of the publisher. Family Times is not responsible for unsolicited material. Family Times is funded and published solely through the support of its advertisers. They support us, so please support them.

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feature story

The challenges of parenting separated can thrive, even when Mum and Dad have Parenting alone may be an separated, or about to separate, the children almost common reality for will be okay.” many people in New Zealand Keep grown-up problems today, but that doesn’t mean between grown-ups One of the hardest – but most important – it’s easy.

he fact is, even a destructive relationship has some benefits. You may not miss the drama or the arguments, but you’ll almost certainly miss an extra pair of hands to look after the house and the kids. It’s not easy to wake the children and pile them into the car for a late-night supermarket trip when you realise you don’t have anything for school lunches the next day. But even more significant than the challenges of everyday practicalities is the underlying emotional current that can ignite a seemingly miniscule problem into a monster of behemoth proportions. Every challenge that you face can seemingly be linked to the failure of the relationship and the subsequent situation you find yourself in, and that charged emotion can have a real effect on kids. Children are affected by separation more than many parents realise, says Timothy McMichael who heads the family dispute resolution service provided by Family Works Northern. “When parents separate, children suffer, although they might not show it outwardly. Separation is a stressful time for the whole family and, no matter how young they are, children see, hear and sense everything.” However, separation doesn’t have to be as difficult as some parents might imagine, he adds. “If both separated parents are committed to ensuring their children really

things to do, according to Timothy, is to not talk about grown-up issues in front of your children. “Children hear and see everything. Unless they are specially told that adult decisions are not about them, children are likely to assume they are the cause of their parents’ problems, and unless this misinterpretation of facts is promptly addressed by parents, the misinterpretation can quickly become catastrophic. Do reassure your children that it’s not their fault that you are separating and make sure the information you convey is age-appropriate.” That includes not putting your former partner down or speaking negatively about them. The fact is, your child’s other parent - father or mother - may be a deadbeat, lying, cheating scumbag. But they are still your child’s parent, and your child loves them unconditionally. That doesn’t mean that you have to defend their behaviour or pretend that everything is okay with the situation. Your child will work out the other parent’s flaws for themselves eventually, especially if they keep cancelling or changing visits. However, if you are the one to constantly point out their faults, you won’t come off well in the long-run. Additionally, your child shouldn’t have to shoulder your issues, and enormous emotional damage can be caused that way. McMichael says that in the worst cases, some parents go a step further and try to poison the child’s

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feature story relationship with the other parent and purposely turn them against them. “Sadly when parents separate, no matter how much they try to keep their adult-to-adult feelings separate from their responsibilities as parents, sometimes this is really difficult. A good example, and seen all too often, is where parents engage - consciously or unconsciously - in what is called “parental alienation.” This means sometimes parents comment negatively about the other or cast them in a bad light. Sometimes parents force their children to take sides. “Comments about one parent not really loving the child, or being a bad parent, are a common type of parental alienation. More subtle examples of parental alienation may include one parent deliberately setting up an agreement to fail and causing a child upset or distress, and then being seen to rescue that child by the parent “who won’t let anyone down.””

Keeping communication open

Even a hardened hostage negotiator would struggle to mediate with the tangled emotions of some relationship breakdowns. And few things are as emotive as deciding care arrangements for children. “It’s surprising how many disputes are not about practicalities, but where communication between partners has become the stumbling block. Care arrangements are not that difficult – it’s the anxiety about the contact itself that can sometimes be the problem,” McMichael said. At such times, McMichael says, it’s easy for children to fall between the cracks. “It doesn’t take a major fault or high level of abuse for children to be harmed. All it takes is parents who can’t manage the conflicts they already have. The kids feel the effects when they are overlooked or there’s a lack of attention to their needs.”

When you really have to parent alone

Both parents want to take an active role in the care of their children in a perfect world. But many parents’ experience is quite different. Often one parent ends up shouldering the burden while the other fails to take responsibility, both practically and financially. In these cases, Timothy says that it’s not possible to make up for the absence of a parent, and the best advice is to not overcompensate. “Many parents think they need to make things “better” by offering trips, gifts or other treats. Whether this is done with the best of intentions - or sometimes to make one parent appear better in the eyes of the child - in reality, what’s really needed is for business to be as normal as possible at a time of change. Children will be able to adapt far more quickly, and with greater ease, if other aspects of their lives remain as unchanged as possible.” Just as difficult is the scenario in which your child eventually does go for a parental visit and returns home distressed. “Listen to whatever the child has to say without offering an opinion as to the conduct of the absent parent,” McMichael said. “If your relationship with the absent parent is healthy, arrange to talk with that parent using open language, talking about “our” child rather than “my” child, and “our” roles as parents, rather than “my” role as the Mum or Dad.” In each case, McMichael says that mediation is the best option for trying to negotiate a solution that is in the best interests of the children, and the costly (and stressful) option of going through the court system should be a last resort. “Firstly, mediation really does put the parents and the children at the centre of the family justice process. Rather than having lawyers,

or ultimately a judge make decision, with the help of a skilled Family Court mediator, separated parents are able to make decisions not just about the needs for today, but develop skills for being able to make decisions about tomorrow without necessarily the help of a family court mediator. The very best

family mediators provide Mums and Dads with solutions not only for today, but with enhanced communication skills and with the capacity to be able to talk about future needs of their children without recourse to the Family Court. “Secondly, it’s significantly cheaper.”

What to do when separating

Parents separating is a stressful time for all involved. Family Works Northern has some tips to help navigate the difficult first weeks and months: 1 Reassure your children that you love them, and demonstrate it often by paying attention to their needs. 2 Try to keep life as normal as possible. Routines help create a sense of security, especially for young children. 3 Reassure your children that it’s not their fault that you are separating. 4 Agree on when and how you will communicate any changes to your children. Make sure the information you convey is age-appropriate. How you explain to a 6-year-old will be very different from what you discuss with a teenager. 5 Model healthy ways to resolve conflict, solve problems and express emotions. 6 Plan some fun times with the family – it’s a great way to reduce stress. 7 Be kind to yourself and your children. Everyone is hurting in this situation. 8 Come to terms with your own emotional responses to your separation, and don’t take out your pain on the kids. Seek help from other adults if you need support. 9 Avoid making your child your confidante, or speaking negatively

about your partner. 10 Make sure you know what your children want and give them some choice when it comes to the details of day-to-day care, again within ageappropriate limits. A young child should never have to decide between two people they love. What not to do when separating 1 Don’t act in an abusive, manipulative or controlling manner. 2 Don’t overlook or neglect your children’s needs because you’re preoccupied with your own concerns. 3 Don’t overcompensate for the separation with gifts or rewards. They want you, not your stuff. 4 Don’t take out your own emotional pain and anxiety on the children. 5 Don’t avoid communicating clearly with your former partner/spouse. 6 Don’t speak negatively about your partner or the other household in front of the children. 7 Don’t force your children to “take sides.” 8 Don’t expect your child to act as a gobetween or tell you about life in the other household. 9 Don’t treat your children like chattels. 10 Don’t refuse to take time to explain in appropriate ways what’s going on.

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Healthy self-esteem or narcissist? Every parent wants their child to grow into a confident and self-assured adult – but not a narcissist.

The difference may be as simple as why – and how – we praise them, according to research. Lots of parents believe that praise is going to make kids better – more motivated, confident and inclined to tackle challenges. In some cases that may be true: for example, studies by Garner and Hastings in 2006/2007 concluded that mothers who praise their preschoolers’ good manners have children with better social skills. But in many cases, the opposite may in fact be true.

“Telling kids how exceptional they are doesn’t produce kids with good, healthy selfesteem.”

In an effort to ensure children don’t doubt their approval, some parents may actually undermine their kids’ motivation with praise. And motivation isn’t the only issue: A new study from The Ohio State University suggests that constant – and perhaps undue – praise for our kids’ tiniest accomplishments, or nonaccomplishments, may have the unintended side-effect of creating an over-inflated ego. And this can have serious consequences both in childhood and later on in life.

Over-valuing kids and resulting narcissism is an escalating problem in Western countries. “Research shows that narcissism is higher in Western than non-Western countries, and suggests that narcissism levels have been steadily increasing among Western youth over the past few decades,” the authors write in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. The study from Ohio State University concluded that parental overvaluation was the largest predictor of a child’s narcissism over time, but interestingly, it did not predict self-esteem. In other words, telling kids how exceptional they are doesn’t produce kids with good, healthy self-esteem – it just makes them more narcissistic.

intelligence or talent is something that people either have or don’t have. This leaves kids feeling helpless when they make mistakes. What’s the point of trying to improve if your mistakes indicate that you lack intelligence?

3 Be careful about praising kids for achievements that come easily If you praise kids for easy tasks, kids may conclude there is something wrong: Either you’re too dumb to realise how easy the task is, or you think the kids are dumb. Such interpretations are unlikely to occur to younger children. But as kids mature, they become more sophisticated about the social meaning of praise.

What’s the right way to praise kids?

Psychologists Jennifer Henderlong Corpus and Mark Lepper have analysed more than praise, you don’t just tell him he’s doing well. 30 years of studies on the effects of praise and determined that praise can be a powerful You give him specific feedback, and you tell motivating force if you follow these guidelines: him something about your standards. Just make sure that your standards are reasonable 1 Be sincere and specific

with your praise

Some praise is merely about making a judgment: “Good job!” Other praise provides information about what the recipient did right: “I like the way you began your essay by describing the problem and explaining why it’s important.” The latter is called descriptive praise, and it is thought to be more helpful than general praise. When you give a child descriptive

4 Be careful about praising kids for doing what they already love to do

This doesn’t mean we can’t—or shouldn’t— praise our children for good behaviour or a job well done. We should, however, be cautious about overriding our kids’ natural sources of motivation and replacing it with praise.

5 Encourage kids to focus 2 Praise kids only for traits on mastering skills—not they have the power to on comparing themselves change to others and not unrealistic.

When we praise kids for their ability, kids become more cautious. They avoid challenges. It’s as if they are afraid to do anything that might make them fail and lose your high appraisal. Kids might also get the message that

There are two problems with this: Firstly, social-comparison praise is only motivating as long as kids continue to finish first. Secondly, social-comparison praise teaches kids that competitive standing, not mastery, is the goal.

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Education

Minding manners – are your kids rude? Seventy-five per cent of parents say that kids today are ruder than previous generations, according to one author’s survey.

1 Wait your turn and don’t interrupt

2 No name calling.

ot as many kids today would give up their seat on public transport, resist the urge to queue jump or refer to their friends’ parents as Mr or Mrs (surname). But while parents are bemoaning the loss of etiquette, Alex J. Packer, Ph.D and author of the book How Rude! The Teen Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behaviour, and Not Grossing People Out, says that kids mirror what they see at home and learn from the world around them. “A lot of parents would rather be their child’s friend than their parent,” he says. “So kids get mixed messages and etiquette instruction falls by the wayside.” Yet manners still top the list of the most important lessons that children need to assimilate, according to another recent survey. Some forms of etiquette may seem antiquated outside of British gentry, such as ladies crossing ankles not knees. But there are still plenty of manners that will help your littlies grow up into polite ladies and gents that you would be proud of. The list of manners and common courtesies can run into the hundreds, so we’ve handpicked just a few important ones to get your kids started:

No one can be heard if there are too many voices at once. Gently tell your child to wait until someone is done speaking, and then to ask their question. Even if it’s in “fun,” name calling hurts.

3 Always greet guests

Depending on your level of formality, you can teach your child to shake hands with adults who come over, but that it’s not necessary to shake hands with other children. But, your child should always say “hello” or “hi” when someone visits so that the guest feels welcome.

4 Say, “please” and “thankyou” often.

It shows respect and appreciation. In addition, if they are thanked, teach them to say “You’re welcome.”

5 Clean up after yourself.

Whether they’re at home or at a friend’s house, they should always pick up after themselves.

6 Good sportsmanship.

After playing a game (sports, cards, board game,) no matter the outcome, be pleasant. If your child wins, tell them to not gloat or show off, but be kind. If they lose, don’t sulk or get mad, but be a good sport and tell the other child(ren) “good game.”

7 Take compliments courteously.

If someone praises your children, teach them to be gracious and say, “thank you,” and avoid putting themselves down or pointing out flaws.

8 Opening doors for others.

When going into buildings, allow elders to go first and open the door for them. When preceding others into a building, don’t let the door slam in the face of those behind, but hold the door until the person behind can grab it.

9 Exiting/entering etiquette. Elevators: allow those in the elevator to exit first before entering the elevator. Same with buildings or rooms - if

someone is exiting the building or room through the same door you are entering, let them exit first.

10 Respect differences.

When people do things differently from your family because of diversity in culture, race, or religion, then teach your child respect.

11 Don’t intentionally embarrass people.

This includes pointing at people, staring, asking intrusive personal questions and prying.

We’ve got parenting covered For more, search parenting under our feature articles tab online at www.familytimes.co.nz.

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baby & toddler

Too posh to push? Caesarean births are on the rise in New Zealand, now accounting for about a quarter of all births.

natural delivery because of horror stories they’ve heard about stitches, tears and “downstairs damage.” Others enjoy the convenience of being able to plan their baby’s arrival around work and travel commitments, and making arrangements for extra support like a relative coming to stay. ome of these are emergency procedures, Then there are the women who say they just but increasingly women are booking to want one, thank you very much. “There are have elective caesareans prior to their due genuinely some people who can’t be bothered dates in order to avoid natural labour. with the whole thing. I think it is true that there Ministry of Health statistics report an is a group of those people. They’re a small increase in elective caesarean sections in the group,” said Dr Dover. last decade, while the number of emergency Caesarean sections account for about 20-30% caesareans has remained steady. Elective of births in New Zealand, similar to rates procedures have been glamorised in the in Australia and the UK said Dr Dover. He media with celebrities such as Victoria believes elective caesareans reduce the risk of Beckham who famously delivered her still birth and are the safest option for delivery. children by elective caesarean, sparking the “You’re going to bypass the whole labour phrase “too posh to push.” business so that’s got to take some risk out. But why are more New Zealand women Some people would argue you might transfer opting to take the “easy way out?” some of that risk from the baby to the mother, Obstetrician and gynaecologist Dr Richard because she’s having a surgical procedure. Dover from Oxford Women’s Health says There is some validity in that statement.” increasing maternal age is a factor. Conversely, proponents of natural labour “Some women are in their 30s and only plan argue that the body is best equipped to give to have one or two children, so they want to do everything they can to maximise safety for birth naturally. Women usually feel a sense of the baby. If you don’t have a labour, then you accomplishment and empowerment following can’t have a problem in your labour.” a natural birth. Hospital stays are shorter Other women opt for an elective procedure and recovery times quicker. Mothers can because of a previous traumatic birth experience. breastfeed immediately and enjoy skin-to“We see a number of people who have skin bonding time with their infant. Babies had such a horrific experience with their born naturally are less likely to suffer certain first pregnancy – they’ve had awful tears or respiratory problems following the birth, bleeding, and have found the whole process and are less likely to develop asthma, food quite disturbing. I think for those people, allergies, and lactose intolerance later in to make them go through a further natural life. This may be due to being exposed to delivery is quite inhumane.” beneficial bacteria in the birth canal. Some first-time mothers are frightened of Dr Dover said the topic was complex

but ultimately he believed in supporting women’s choice. “There is certainly a perception that caesarean section is the way of the devil. There are an awful lot of people who view natural delivery as the gold standard and if you’ve not had that, you’ve sort of failed,” he said. “I think you should be doing what’s best and safest and there’s certainly a healthy

debate about that. The whole thing is about the woman leaving hospital with a smile on her face and a healthy baby in her arms. That’s the big outcome. How you achieve that, I view as a secondary outcome.” More baby and toddler reading: The challenge of multiple births – twice the fun or double the trouble? Search the title @ www.familytimes.co.nz.

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Breast milk sharing is slowly increasing in popularity, according to a survey done by a Christchurch donor breast milk bank.

owever, the survey also revealed that while most women were happy to share their breast milk if they had enough to spare, many were less keen to accept the breast milk of another for their own babies. The topic of breastfeeding always seems to spark controversy, whether it’s breastfeeding in public or shaming mums who opt to bottle feed. However, what has been established is that there is a need for breast milk sharing for vulnerable kiwi infants. Breast milk sharing has experienced a revival since the opening of Christchurch Hospital Neo Natal Breast Milk Bank in 2014. Prior to the opening, many ICU babies received formula feeding via syringe. Now, with plenty of donated breastmilk available, ICU babies can be fed nutrient-rich breast milk when they are not able to receive it from their mothers. There is plenty of documentation of wet nursing and cross nursing throughout history; it was common in Ancient Greek civilisations and in Renaissance times being a wet nurse was a very well paid position, with wealthy women opting for wet nurses over nursing their babies themselves so as to not interrupt their social lives or ruin their figures. These days, breast milk sharing is less of an occupation and more altruistic. For many, the decision to donate breast milk is the result of

oversupply and a desire to help those in need. Those seeking breast milk do so for varying reasons and circumstances, from low supply to adoption. Sharing breast milk is gaining popularity. Since the opening of the Christchurch Hospital Breast-milk Bank, more informal communities like humanmilk4humanbabies and Mothers Milk NZ Charitable trust have been formed, putting those in need of breastmilk in touch with mothers who have some to spare. Mostly the communities communicate via Facebook pages where mothers in need can post a request and mothers with excess can offer their milk.

“What has been established is that there is a need for breast milk sharing for vulnerable kiwi infants.” It is important for mothers to be aware of not only the benefits, but also the risks involved with ad-hoc groups. While the groups may intend the best outcome for babies, the rigorous testing of breast milk required by hospitals cannot be enforced. While all milk for babies in hospital breast milk banks is screened and pasteurised, it is up to those participating in private breastmilk sharing arrangements to ensure the safety of the milk. Requesting blood tests from donors is recommended as is requesting full disclosure of dietary and lifestyle habits that may affect breastmilk. If you would like to find out more about

breastmilk sharing in New Zealand visit: Human Milk for Human Babies NZ www. facebook.com/hm4hbnz Piropiro Aotearoa www.facebook.com/ milksharingnz These sites help connect donors and recipients and give guidelines and advice about best practice with milk sharing. By Alexandra Constantine Related article that you may be interested in It’s time to wean However you look at it, weaning is a new and different stage of your relationship with your baby.

The must-knows of collaborative education Open-plan spaces, collaborative teaching models, child-driven learning: an entire education revolution wrapped up in jargon.

ut what does New Zealand’s push towards a new education model mean for your child? Family Times asks CORE Education Ltd senior consultant Mark Osborne to shed some light.

Why is there a push toward open-plan classrooms?

We use research into the most effective ways to teach and learn, but what’s happened is that 60 per cent of the buildings we have in New Zealand schools are more than 40-years-old, so they were designed for a very different education paradigm with a teacher up the front controlling the learning. And that doesn’t match up with the research that we now have about kids needing to be in control of their learning. So a lot of people are looking very hard at their teaching and learning spaces up and down the country and asking whether they’ve got the right buildings or the right sort of physical environment for the kind of learning environment that they want to create.

Are there academic benefits to open plan classrooms? There’s certainly research that shows that schools that have changed their spaces and their teaching and learning have experienced significant gains in achievement for kids. Alongside black-and-white achievement data - test scores - there’s a bunch of research that suggests a lot of key competencies, interpersonal things – pro-social behaviour etc - that come with a more collaborative learning environment.

What does it mean for traditional teaching?

If a teacher is on their own in the classroom, how do they become a better teacher? One of the big shifts that is happening in learning environments is about creating teams of teachers who engage in shared problem solving together and improve each other’s skills. So it is about the quality of teaching.

What about the child-teacher connection? You’re talking about attachment theory, and it’s particularly important for kids who haven’t had strong attachment figures in

their lives before coming to school. It’s really important for those kids to have a strong single attachment to an adult. So what a lot of schools do is to try to preserve the advantages of having a collaborative space but have a nest group – a small group, say 10-15 – and a teacher particularly responsibility for those kids. The pastoral care has to be really carefully wrapped around those kids.

How long has the model been working in New Zealand? In the 1970s and 80s there was a move

“The onus is on the school to be ready for the child, not the child for the school.” toward collaborative spaces. But from the mid 1990s on there was a renewed interest, right up to what we’re seeing today.

Won’t shy kids struggle with this model?

Should parents be concerned about the changes?

The changes that have taken place in society in those 20 to 30-years since parents were in I’d ask those questions of the school because a new entrants’ class are quite profound. It’s I’d want to hear what the school is going to about helping parents to see that if they saw do to ensure that my kid doesn’t get lost. The something today similar to their education onus is on the school to be ready for the child, experience, they should be quite concerned not the child for the school. The interesting for their child because even just technology thing is, if we talk about new entrants, is – the access that we have to information that most early childhood centres operate – those are significant changes that have as modern learning environments, and that’s impacted on learning. actually really important for minimising the So this is really fast-paced change, and it’s disruption of that transition. understandable if parents struggle to keep up with it. But it’s beholden on the school to ensure that they help them understand what’s going on and why it’s happening. Lonely Planet kids’ books We have a great selection of new-release 2016 books to give away from our friends at Lonely Planet. There’s something for Mum, primary and Dad and all the kids with these great new intermediate titles: Travel with Children- family-friendly school term travel without the fuss; Adventures Around dates The Globe - packed full of maps, activities and more than 250 stickers; and The Travel Term 1, 2016 Book - a journey through every country. Between Monday 1 February and Friday 5 Available from leading bookstores. February to Friday 15 April Competition closes 31 January 2016. Enter Term 2, 2016 online at www.familytimes.co.nz. Monday 2 May to Friday 8 July

We’ve got education covered Our latest articles include Reengaging Kids in Maths and The Cost of a Free Education. Just search the titles at www.familytimes.co.nz.

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WIN WIN WIN

SCHOOL TERM DATES

Term 3, 2016

Monday 25 July to Friday 23 September

Term 4, 2015

Monday 10 October to no later than Tuesday 20 December

2016 secondary and composite school term dates Term 1, 2016

Between Monday 1 February and Friday 5 February to Friday 15 April

Term 2, 2016

Monday 2 May to Friday 8 July

Term 3, 2016

Monday 25 July to Friday 23 September

Term 4, 2015

Monday 10 October to no later than Friday 16 December

Remaining public holidays 2015 25 December 26 December

Christmas Day Boxing Day

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kids' time Welcome to Kids’ Time at Family Times. Enjoy the fun activities and competitions. For competitions, enter online by visiting www.familytimes.co.nz and click on the competitions link.

KI DS ' S POT THE DI FFERENCE THE G OOD DI NOSAU R Can you spot

differences?

Looking for some rainy day activities for your children? Click on the For Kids section on our website for answers and for further activities your children can print out and complete.

DESIG N COM PE TI TION This edition, we want to know if you can handle the jandal. Design and colour for us your perfect pair of summer jandals, send us your picture and be in to win an amazing $50 prize pack from Crayola! Three entry age groups: preschool (age 1-4), 5-8, 9-12. Create your design on an A5 sheet or download the template and entry form from www.familytimes.co.nz. Post in to PO Box 36 004, Christchurch 8146. Entries close 31 January 2016. Congratulations to our competition winners from our last issue. They are:

IN CINEMAS DECEMBER 31

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Spring 2015 cntrfold FINAL.indd All Pages

0 to 4-years: Liam Opthoog “Liam told me it gets hot in spring. He’s wearing shorts and a t-shirt in his picture. There is a buzzy fly, flower and happy face on the rainbow.”

CONNEC T THE DOTS

IN CINEMAS DECEMBER 31

The Good Dinosaur

To celebrate the upcoming release of Disney•Pixar’s The Good Dinosaur on 31 December, Walt Disney Studios have 5 x prize packs to give away. Each prize pack contains the following items: A double pass to Disney•Pixar’s The Good Dinosaur valid from 31 December 2015 at any participating cinema; a watch; bookmark; notebook and sticker set. Enter online at www.familytimes. co.nz. Competition closes 14 December 2015.

SodaStream giveaway!

5 to 8 -years: Jesse Easterbrook “In spring, I love to hear the birds tweeting in the sky. I also like the smell of sweet flowers and baby animals like lambs.”

9 to 12-years: Alyssa Bartlett “I have drawn the nature of spring with a blossom tree and spring flowers in my backyard.”

SodaStream has released a refreshingly fruity range that’s 100% natural and makes for a delicious (and better-for-you) sparkling drink! The new SodaStream Waters Fruits range is naturally sweetened and contains all natural colours and flavours. Simply add to sparkling water made with your SodaStream machine, and you’ll have turned plain tap water into a delightfully fruity sparkling drink. To celebrate we have a SodaStream Play machine in yellow and a full range of the new Waters Fruit range to give away valued at $180. To enter, visit www.familytimes.co.nz. Competition closes 31 January 2016.

Hi-5 tickets!

Family Times has two family passes of four tickets to the Hi-5 House of Dreams Show on Tuesday 26 and Wednesday 27 January at the Isaac Theatre Royal, Christchurch, to give away. Hi-5 House of Dreams is a whimsical trip into a fantasy adventure where you can catch your favourite Hi-5 songs. To enter, visit www.familytimes.co.nz. Competition closes 9 December 2016.

Bud-e Reading

Bud-e Reading is a ground-breaking new programme developed in New Zealand, designed to motivate beginner readers and build their confidence as they take those precious first steps in their literacy journey. Bud-e prepares children for school and makes learning to read fun, inspiring and rewarding. Family Times have two prize packs to give away each valued at $275. Pack contains 1 x Bud-e Starter Kit and 3 x JillE book titles. To enter visit www.familytimes.co.nz. Competition closes 31 January 2016.

- Epic Laser Tag! - Pool Tables - Indoor Mini Golf! - Arcade

Come check out the awesome new MEGAZONE! We now have an epic new Laser Tag Arena and Minigolf course! 170 fREDERICK sT Dunedin

Book now on

474 9179 Come have the most fun you can, at MEGAZONE, grab a bite to eat at the on site cafe and relax and watch the kids play... Assuming you don’t want to blast them too! Laser Tag_Mini Golf_Pool_Arcade_Cafe

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RIALTO CINEMAS - 11 MORAy PLACE - 474 2200 - BOOK ONLINE - www.rialto.co.nz

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20/11/15 8:25 am

cool activities

Calendar of Events coffee, clothing, vintage, jewellery, buskers, Get your hat and sunscreen 26 December 2015 plants, art, produce, meats. Forbury Park Interislander Summer Festival Wingatui ready to head outdoors and Raceway, Victoria Road, St Kilda, Dunedin. Races. Rally your family and friends, pack enjoy all that summer has to up the Christmas leftovers and head out to Wooden Table Artisans’ Wingatui Racecourse for a day of thrilling offer. For more event and Market racing action and free kids’ entertainment. entertainment ideas, visit www. A weekly market showcasing the talents From 11am. Adults $10; under 18 free. Visit local artisans: soaps, craft, plants, meats, www.theraces.co.nz. familytimes.co.nz and enjoy our of vegetables, honey, eggs and more. Saturdays large, family-friendly resource. 9am – 2pm, The Wooden Table, 154 Gordon 1 January 2016

Markets

Otago Farmers Market

Road, Mosgiel, Dunedin.

Events

Every Saturday morning rain or shine, from 1 November 2015 - 30 8am – 12.30pm, the Dunedin Railway Station April 2016 north car-park is transformed into a bustling Train rides at the Botanic Garden. Enjoy a market place, with thousands of people enjoying 10-minute train ride around the lower Botanic the best that Otago has to offer. Garden. Tuesday – Thursday, 10.30am – 3.30pm; weekends 10.30am – 4pm. Weather Octagon Market dependent. Original work of an international standard from Dunedin artisans and craftspeople in a 4 – 6 November friendly and welcoming atmosphere. Enjoy Festive Book Sale. Bring your own bag unique shopping in the picturesque Dunedin and stock up with some holiday reading at Octagon Market. First Friday of each month the libraries’ festive book sale. Visit www. and when cruise ships visit. dunedinlibraries.govt.nz.

Dunedin Marketplace

A fantastic local market that runs on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Craft, food,

Interislander Summer Festival Waikouaiti Races. Get on-course for a day of top thoroughbred racing. Live music, free children’s entertainment and atmosphere galore. From 10am. Adults $10, under 18 free. Visit www.theraces.co.nz.

15 - 24 January 2016

Vero International Festival of Historic Motoring. This will be a fantastic event with cars coming from far and wide to visit Dunedin and all the city has to offer. From 12pm, Edgar Centre, 116 Portsmouth Drive, Dunedin. Visit www.historicmotoring.co.nz.

5 December

Otago Peninsula Community Show. An annual community event with competitions and events for all the family. Market stalls with food, beverages, arts, crafts and much more. Portobello Domain, 3 Allans Beach Road, Portobello, Dunedin. From 9am - 2pm. Visit www.peninsulashow.com.

13 December 2015

RASA Show 2015 – For the Love of It. Hip hop, Bollywood, tap, jazz, break and contemporary dance. A great night of family entertainment, from 6pm, $13 - $16, Regent Theatre. Visit www.regenttheatre.co.nz.

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There’s plenty to keep everyone entertained at the Wings and Wheels open day.

WE ARE GO FOR LAUNCH PERPETUAL GUARDIAN

PLANETARIUM OPENING 5 DECEMBER Booking essential

Buy tickets at the Otago Museum or online www.otagomuseum.nz 12

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cool activities

Entertainment Summer is here, and it’s a great time to get out and explore the plethora of exciting events and entertainment destinations around the city. Here are a few ideas to get you started, and we’ve got heaps more at www.familytimes.co.nz. Otago Museum

Experience a lush, living Tropical Forest where you’ll meet live butterflies and other tropical creatures in their natural paradise, or explore the universe in the new Perpetual Guardian Planetarium.

Rialto Cinemas

You and the family can see a fantastic line-up of films this summer at Rialto Cinemas. Come along to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Disney Pixar’s The Good Dinosaur and Goosebumps.

Wal’s Plant Land

Mini golf course, driving range, mini trains, giftware, pots and plants, local fresh produce, Topiary Café, barbecue function area, marquee and barbecue for hire. Open seven days 8.30am - 5pm. Phone 03-484-7319, 109 Bush Rd, Mosgiel, www.walsplantland.co.nz.

Combat Zone Paintball

Come and play a safe, fun and high-adrenalin game for all ages, supervised by experienced staff who know the game inside and out. Barbecues also available.

BENNETT SCHOOL

of Ballet and Jazz To instil a love and enjoyment of dance

Principal - Shona Bennett King Edward Court Building, 261-291 Stuart St, Dunedin Phone: 03) 453-0639 bennettballetandjazz@xtra.co.nz www.bennettballetandjazz.co.nz

Tuition available: • 3-4 yrs old Movement classes • 5 yrs and over Classical Ballet and Jazz • Adults Classical Ballet and Jazz

Megazone

Laser tag, mini golf, pool, arcade & cafe www.megazonedunedin.co.nz

Leap Indoor Trampoline Park A great family activity fun for all ages! www.leapnz.co.nz

Dun Eden Family Farm Park

Hands-on farmlet tours, feeding and petting a great variety of domesticated animals. Bookings essential. Phone 021-258-0990 facebook.com/dunedenfamilyfarm

Inflatable World

It’s all about family fun! 93 Crawford Street, Dunedin Central Phone 03 477 9006 www.Inflatableworld.co.nz

Holiday specials

Here are some great holiday ideas designed to keep you and your little ones entertained during the school break.

Enjoy all the fun of the races this summer! Visit www.theraces.co.nz.

Chipmunks play-land and café

Visit chipmunks for unlimited play for 0 to 11-year-olds and relax over a coffee or lunch at in our fully serviced café. We also offer after-school care/holiday programmes and a drop-off childcare service for school-aged children.

M*A*S*H

Dunedin central - WINZ subsidy available “The best fun your kids can have.” Phone 0800-420-520, admin@mashkids.co.nz, www.mashkids.co.nz. Enrol for our exciting programme!

Dunedin Public Art Gallery Holiday hunt! Bring your detective skills to the exhibitions on display and follow the instructions in our fun foldout activities sheet. From 19 December– 24 January, 10am4.30pm. Chocolate prizes for all participants. Free, bookings not required.

Family Ties

Open over the holiday break. We provide quality early childhood education with qualified staff. Phone Melissa on 021 765492 to make an appointment to view the preschools.

Otago Museum Powered by the latest Digistar 5 3D production/projection suite, the planetarium will open with three shows: • Marama a-Whetu: Light of the Stars is an exploration of Maori myths and legends relating to the night sky. The show will give an overview of how Polynesian explorers navigated to Aotearoa New Zealand and highlight the significance of astronomical features for all New Zealanders. • Amazing Universe will take travellers from Hooper’s Inlet on the Otago Peninsula

through the universe to explore some of the most wondrous astronomical sights humanity has discovered. • Presenter-led, The Sky Tonight live show explores the current night sky over Otago. Visitors will learn about stars, constellations and deep sky objects, and find out how to view them. Planetarium admission is $10 for adults, $7 for children; bookings are essential and tickets will be available online from 30 November at www.otagomuseum.nz.

A great family activity, fun for all ages!

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Spirit of Christmas food demonstrations from Alison It’s that time of year to deck and Lambert. From 10am – 4pm, Wingatui the halls and get into all the Racecourse, Gladstone Road North, Mosgiel. wonderful festivities that the Visit www.fetedunedin.co.nz. - 21 December Christmas season has to offer. 3 Annual Moana House Christmas Tree Looking for some Christmas Fundraiser. Support a great cause. Wilding Pine trees only. Prices start from $10. No activities and events? Here phone orders or deliveries - visit 401 High are a few in your area to get Street. Visit www.moanahouse.net. you started: 5 – 24 December Christmas Family Chill-Out Zone. November 16 – Celebrate Christmas at Toitu with traditional December 24 and sea-themed crafts, dress-ups and toys in Kmart Wishing Tree. Place a gift under the Wishing Tree at your local Kmart store. The Salvation Army distributes them, together making a difference to the 68,000 kids. Visit www.kmart.co.nz.

28 - 29 November

Otago Peninsula Artists Christmas Art Fair. At Macandrew Bay Community Hall, 1 Greenacres Street, Macandrew Bay, Dunedin. Free admission, stalls, entertainment. Phone Jane Higham on 03-476-1 848.

29 November

Fete Dunedin. Christmas shopping at more than 100 amazing stalls, live entertainment

the NZR foyer. Toitu Otago Settlers Museum, 31 Queens Garden, Dunedin, 10am - 5pm. Visit www.toituosm.com.

6 December

Dunedin Santa Parade. The Dunedin

Santa Parade announces the arrival of Christmas in Dunedin. Exciting floats, bands, marching, fire engines, animals, clowns and of course, Santa. The parade is followed by a family concert in the lower Octagon. From 3pm. Visit www.dunedinsantaparade.co.nz.

6 December

No Vacancy – The Untold Nativity Story. Come and celebrate the Christmas story with

Mini elves and angels support the Kmart Wishing Tree appeal. friends and family. Music, dance, drama and multimedia. Glenroy Auditorium, 1 Harrop Street, Dunedin. At 5pm. Visit arisechurch. com.

8 December

Handel’s Messiah. City Choir Dunedin

with the Southern Sinfonia is pleased to again perform this oratorio for the Christmas season. Tickets $15-$50. Dunedin Town Hall, 7.3010pm. Visit www.citychoirdunedin.org.nz.

9 - 12 December

Counterpoint Presents: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. Explore the silly season through this rendition of Jesus’ awkward teenage years, an elf revolution at Santa’s toy factory and a problematic pantomime. Playhouse Theatre, 31 Albany Street, Dunedin. 7.30 – 9pm. Visit www. counterpointdunedin.com.

12 – 13 & 19 – 24 December

Come and Visit Santa. Get your photo taken with Santa at Toitu Otago Settlers Museum, 31 Queens Garden, Dunedin. From 10am – 12pm and 1 – 4pm. Photo 6x8” is $12.50, two for $20, extra copies $5 each.

19 December.

Mistletoe Market. Great Christmas shopping, live entertainment and delicious foods. Free face painting, magician Jonathan Usher and a very special visit from Santa. Knox Church, 449 George Street, Dunedin. From 11am-6pm.

Chipmunks

nd & Café la y la P The perfect place to party and play all day! • Before and After School Care • School Holiday Programmes • Unlimited Pay and Play • Flexible Birthday Party Packages • We also offer a full café with tasty food and beverage treats

Come play today! 373 Princes Street, Dunedin Phone 03 477 6762 dunedin@chipmunks.co.nz

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Sustainable gift giving Sustainable living becomes more attractive when we develop an awareness of the environmental impact that our excessive waste causes. But it’s not just about good conscience – sustainable living (and giving) can be a lot of fun too, especially when it comes to making Christmas gifts. Creating and giving sustainable gifts is a joyful thing to consider, particularly at this time of year. And spending time with your children making sustainable gifts has many benefits: As you spend quality time with your littlies

HOME-MADE NOTEBOOKS Another great idea is personalised, cute and useful, home-made notebooks. Equipment required Scrapbook paper, A4 white paper, paper cutter or scissors, sewing machine and thread, decorations such as washi tape and stickers, glue stick.

Fold your scrapbook paper in half.

you are nurturing your relationship, teaching new skills, passing on your beliefs through role-modelling, and making sweet memories together. You are also showing your children the value that a created gift can bring to both the person giving the gift, and to the one receiving it. Certainly a gift can be thoughtfully chosen for a friend or a relative, but you cannot purchase the time, love and energy that go into personally making a gift for someone special to you.

Boxes, packaging, bags and bank balances – Christmas is fun, but it can be expensive and taxing on the environment.

The practical advantages of sustainable gift giving are also worth noting. The convenience of having items on hand, the reduction in waste from packaging and plastic bags, and the savings you can make financially all are wonderful benefits. Ideas for gifts that you can make with your children are readily available on the internet, and a quick Google search will bring up thousands of options with full instructions.

Here are a few of our favourite sustainable gift ideas: ✔ Garden markers ✔ DIY crayons ✔ Chalk paint ✔ Salt dough paperweights ✔ Decorative pen jars ✔ Hand-printed kitchen towels.

By Lisa McKenzie

Measure your white paper against the scrapbook paper and decide the size it needs to be. It will sit inside the scrapbook paper, and needs to have an allowance of approximately 2mm from the edge of the scrapbook paper.

Fold the pieces of white paper in half and rest in the middle of the scrapbook paper cover. Sew a line down the centre of the paper, joining it to the cover. Personalise the cover with decorations of your choice. Washi tape is very versatile and comes in many different styles. Other things you could use include stamps, stickers, sticky-backed jewels, die-cut pictures, and personally drawn pictures and lettering.

Cut several sheets of white paper to size.

Final product!

Children’s Foot Problems Solved! Curly toes (toes that are not straight) can cause significant problems in later life, especially painful and unsightly corns. Sever’s Disease is the painful inflammation of the heel’s growth plate and often strikes children between the ages of eight and fourteen. All these conditions can be quickly diagnosed and easily resolved by visiting a podiatrist. Podiatrists are highly trained and fully qualified foot specialists. They are experts in diagnosing and treating foot problems in patients of all ages. Sometimes other pain, like back or knee pain, can be linked to an issue with the feet. But children are the most vulnerable and if their feet problems go untreated they are more likely to suffer foot problems as they age. When children come to us with any kind of problem, we give them a complete foot health-check, diagnose an oddly shaped nail. They are painful the problem and prescribe a solution. and can become seriously infected when These remedies can include exercises, the nail breaks through the skin – do stretches and, sometimes, orthotics. not try to cut into the corner, you could Whilst there are many shops and make the problem much worse. temporary orthotic stalls selling orthotics, Walking on their toes is not unusual in they are not trained in diagnosing the children learning to walk. If, however, correct solution to foot problems — this habit persists — on one leg or both which may not be an orthotic at all. — it may be an undiagnosed problem Indeed the wrong prescription could that could hinder their development. make problems worse. Is your child walking oddly — on their toes perhaps? Are they clumsy on their feet when running or playing sport? Or are they suffering from growing pains? Growing should not be painful, so take any complaints of growing pains seriously. They could indicate a problem that will cause walking difficulties but could easily be solved now. Other foot problems which affect children include flatfoot, ingrown toenails, toe walking, curly toes and Sever’s Disease. Ingrown toenails are most often caused by tight shoes, badly trimmed nails or

However, if after a full check we find your child needs an orthotic, we will make one specifically tailored for them. It will fit their feet correctly and will help resolve their problem. Because we understand the importance of the feet to overall health, we are offering free checks of your children’s shoes when you bring them in for a consultation from now until the end of February. Don’t let your children grow up with avoidable foot problems. Call today to make an appointment.

For an appointment, contact: (03) 477 2575 enquiries@fitfeet.co.nz Level 2 Consultancy House, 7 Bond St, Dunedin. www.fitfeet.co.nz

0115r1768-20-v

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Mums in business When your child We talk with founder and CEO of Pineapple Heads Ltd, Megan Sanders, about being a working parent. How did you get started? When my son Jimmy started to morph into a toddler, I started looking around for a natural children’s hair and bath range and couldn’t find anything super fun made purely for children in New Zealand.

What do you love about your business?

Everything! I have spent many years working in advertising, which is an incredibly creative industry, and even though some days I miss the craziness of that environment I love that I still get to be creative, crazy and make all the decisions. Ironically, sometimes that freedom also keeps me up at night!

What does a day look like for you as a working mum?

Wow. Wee. Its starts pretty early; I try and get up most days at 5.30am – I am a sucker for a beautiful sunrise and the added bonus is I can get organised before Jimmy gets up. From mid morning until early afternoon it’s in the car zooming from meeting to meeting. I try and pick-up Jimmy by 5pm from daycare then head home to the country for time with our dogs. Once Jimmy is in bed – normally around 7.30pm – it’s back to work until around midnight.

Best advice you were given about business? It’s not a cure for cancer.

Best advice you were given about parenting? Children are a joy not a chore.

won’t sleep...

What has your child taught Ahh, sleep. That tantalisingly you? elusive, wondrous anomaly that Unconditional love and patience. Two incredible things that have made me a much better person.

Most embarrassing motherhood moment?

Thinking that my beautiful new baby would only need one outfit per day!

What would you tell yourself in retrospect?

Don’t take it all so seriously. Have fun. Love the ride.

How do you make time for yourself ? Surfing. There is nothing like being out in the water – it’s where I get inspired!

Do you have a “mum uniform?”

Jeans and a T-shirt on the weekend, but in summer I wear lovely dresses everyday. Nothing like slipping on something pretty to put a spring in your step! Beauty secret: probably not a secret but I can’t live without mascara and lip gloss.

Words you live by? Life is short: make it count.

parents value above all things.

t doesn’t even cost a cent. Yet the demands of life - and in particular those beloved sleep-robbers we call children - means we never seem to get enough. Sleep is so important to a child’s developing brain, but children put much less value on getting their 40 winks than their poor, sleepdeprived parents. How can we help our kids drift off peacefully to the land of nod? Figuring out the reason your child is struggling is the first step to finding a solution.

Is bed time the right time? Children should have a regular bed time and a routine that helps them settle. This might include a warm drink, a bath, or reading a book. If your child is lying awake in bed for a long time after lights out, their bed time could be too late or too early. Children who stay up too late might reach the over-tired phase where they just can’t drift off, then becoming grumpy and unreasonable. On the other hand, putting your child to bed too early will make them feel frustrated as they lie in bed, not yet ready to sleep. Try to recognise your child’s tired signs and adjust bed time accordingly. Re-evaluate bed time every so often and adapt as your child grows older.

Turn off technology

Experts recommend turning off technology at least an hour before bedtime to help our brains settle and relax in preparation for sleep. This applies to both the young and old! Make technology-free time part of your child’s bedtime routine. Avoiding scary TV shows, movies and books right before bed will also help deter nightmares.

Get comfy

If your child is comfortable, they will be much more likely to stay asleep through the night. Ensure bedding, bed clothes and room temperature is not too hot or cold. Bed time fears Make sure there is room in the bed for your We can all remember the terror of child! Too many pillows and soft toys can get experiencing a scary dream as a kid. While in the way of a good night’s sleep. Don’t sleep childhood nightmares are common, there are with a pet either - smooching and snuggling things you can do to minimise the frequency. A from a furry friend could be waking your child. bedroom should feel relaxing and peaceful. See Sleep in a dark, comfortable room. Light tells what is visible from your child’s bed. Remove the body that it’s time to be awake, so you anything they find frightening. Children have want to avoid it at night. If your child is really vivid imaginations; even a perfectly ordinary afraid of the dark try a dim night light. doll or teddy could seem scary when the lights go out. Surround the sleep environment with Read more online Taking play seriously things that make your child feel happy and Consider it a child’s work. Because it’s relaxed. This could be family photos, posters in times of wild imagination, creativity or a mobile. Encourage them to think of happy and fun that kids can learn the most. things before lights-out. Search the title online at www. familytimes.co.nz.

Active Furnishers Come and explore Active Furnishers’ stunning kids’ bedroom display – the only one of its kind in town and packed with fun and stylish ideas for your wee darlings’ hideaways: now complete with tepee to help keep the kids distracted! Active are masters at transforming diverse design elements into magical interiors, and can draw on a fantastic range of leading

global brands to tailor your project for you, your personality, and your lifestyle. From on-site consultancy and colour advice, to skilled in-house tailoring, professional fitting and after-sales service, contact Fiona, Ali, Brenda and the team for a festival of colour. Visit www.activefurnishers.co.nz or phone 03-453-0499.

Made in Dunedin • Interior design • Drapes • Blinds • Shutters • Upholstery • Bedware • Rods • Tracks • Cushions •Awnings • Motorisation • Wallpaper

Ali

Fiona

Brenda

Annie

Active Furnishers Ltd 24 Mailer Street, Dunedin 9011

t: 03 453 0499 f: 03 453 0499 free phone 0800 453 049 e: design@activefurnishers.co.nz w: www.activefurnishers.co.nz

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support services

Kids say the darndest things Just when you’re not expecting response from Miss 7: “It’s okay, he said “What the fox.” So hard keeping a straight face!” it, kids say the funniest things! Ina Murphy We asked our Family Times “My daughter watched me working on my laptop and she got a little impatient when Facebook members what things didn’t pop up as fast as she would have their kids have cracked them liked. I explained how the machine worked. That evening she went to the toilet by herself up with. We’re still laughing. (she was 3). She was doing a number 2 and Here’s a snapshot: took forever. When I asked her what was taking her so long, she replied: “ Muuum, I Brookey Robertson-Cox “My eldest - then 5 - asked me if Santa was deaf. When I asked what on earth made him think that he replied, “Because he never bought me the transformer toy I asked for!” Whoops..”

Karen Walker

“My 4-year-old nephew told me his teeth were only sharp enough for chocolate, not for carrots.”

Joe-Ann Day

have to download it first!”

Kelly Lopas

“My 6-year-old is often telling adults, “Listen here young man!””

Jodie Cross

A few weeks ago at dinner, Miss 6 and 7 were mucking around trying to distract Master 8. In doing so, Miss 6 missed her mouth and dropped her fork full down her front. Before anyone could react, Master 3 yells “What the F$&@?” We all stopped in our tracks unsure of how or if we should react, to then get this

“I got my first ever full fake tan as a trial for my wedding and my 6-year-old brother asked “is that your Halloween costume?” followed closely by “You’re not wearing that to your wedding are you?” Thanks little bro...”

If you’d like to share the funny things your child says, email editor@ familytimes.co.nz.

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Phone: 03-471 6158 Free confidential advice on personal budgets. How to manage your money, options and plans for debt repayment.

Citizens Advice Bureau Dunedin Phone: 0800-367 222 or 03-471 6166 For free information and advice. Not sure? Ask us

Relive precious family moments with Brother

WIN WIN WIN

Are all your favourite family photos and memories stuck on your smart device? Proving that Brother is “At Your Side” in more ways than one, its colour inkjet allin-one prints photos straight from your phone or tablet using its iPrint&Scan app and NFC technology – no computer needed! Use these innovative features on a range of Brother printers to create a stunning photo wall, or play with A3 and A4 printing to immortalise kids’ artwork. Discover more at www.atyourside.co.nz. Family Times have one Brother MFCJ4620DW colour inkjet printer to give away, worth $249.95. To enter, visit www.familytimes.co.nz. Competition closes 31 January 2016.

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SuperGrans

Outdoor summer fun with Plunket Otago Summer holidays mean warm weather, fun times, new experiences, and great memories. Summer with young children also means thinking safety as they spend more time outside exploring and playing, often in new and exciting surroundings. Keeping your young children safe in the summer doesn’t mean preventing them from exploring and experiencing new adventures; it means that you are aware of where they are and what they are doing – you can advise and guide them and if

Phone: 0800 164 455 www.sids.org.nz

Dunedin Budget Advisory Service

Sarah Stephenson

My daughter saw a double-decker bus for the Laura Neilson first time and goes, “Look mum, a bunk bus!”- “Miss 4 was making rock creations at kindy why not?” with some rocks that she found at home. She made them with a lot of effort and time. She Mel Halliday said to one of her teachers, “These are for My 4-year-old son found a bangle in my jewellery box and asked me to close my eyes. the old people. Here, you have one.”” “Open your eyes Mum. Will you marry me?” I said “Yes, I’d love to!” He calls out “Sorry Dad! I’m gonna marry this girl one day!”

Sometimes you need some information or an answer to a curly question. Why not pick up the phone and call the relative support agency? You’ll find professional caring people ready to assist you. Sudden Infant Death Support

necessary remove them from danger. To keep your children safe this summer: • Always stay within grabbing distance of your children around water. • Always make sure children are buckled correctly into car seats for every ride. • Check and check again for small children before driving out of the driveway. • An enclosed outdoor play area will prevent children getting onto the road or driveway.

SuperGrans are mature volunteers who offer one-on-one, home-based life and home skills mentoring to families and individuals in need of assistance. They provide a caring, confidential, free, nonjudgemental service that supports and encourages client independence through teaching new ways to work and imparting the ability and confidence to cope with everyday problems. Skills passed on include menu planning, budget shopping/ cooking, knitting, sewing, mending, gardening and establishing household routines. Phone 03-474-0582 for further information or email supergrans. dunedin@xtra.co.nz.

Parent Helpline 0800 568 856 Available from 9am-11pm 7 days a week

We listen! For all parenting issues from those everyday situations to the most serious issue of child abuse. Professional and skilled Telephone Support Workers are there to help you and offer:

   

A listening ear Immediate support Practical strategies Referral to other services in your area

E-mail: parenthelp@xtra.co.nz www.parenthelp.org.nz www.familytimes.co.nz

Alps 2 Ocean There’s nothing better than a relaxing family holiday in the calming beauty of nature. But if you crave a bit of exhilaration too, the Alps 2 Ocean cycle trail is for you.

a tour. For those wishing to tackle the trail themselves without engaging the services of a tour company, a handy option is to bring along your own support vehicle. There are businesses along the trail that hire out vans, bike trailers, child trailers and such. Simply find a family member or friend who’s keen for a holiday, but doesn’t want to be on a bike, and make them the default driver. That way all your luggage and supplies can be he Alps 2 Ocean cycle trail (A2O) is the easily driven to each section. This situation longest cycle trail in New Zealand, at a is perfect for those who would like to spend total length of just over 300km. It runs from some time fishing, reading, walking the trail, Aoraki Mt Cook all the way to the ocean, or even cycling back to meet the cyclists. finishing up at the seaside town of Oamaru. Once you’re into the ride, the fifth stop along The trail is an easy to intermediate grade that’s suitable for everyone – grandparents to the trail is the beautiful lakes of Otamatata. The perfect pit-stop here is Otamatata grandchildren. Holiday Park. It’s got 50 powered sites, 15 To cycle the full trail takes an average of 4-6 tent sites, 18 lodge rooms (including three days. However, with so much to experience family flats) an indoor swimming pool, wellalong the way, there is no rush. The A2O stocked store, takeaway shop and much is more than a cycle trail – it’s 300km of more. Plus, you’ve got the gorgeous lake vista attractions, dining, shopping and activities. right at your doorstep. The A20 is not a race, but a leisurely journey On arrival in Oamaru, the Kingsgate Hotel with plenty of opportunities to get off the Brydone offers convenience and affordable bike and discover the region: hot springs, rates. It’s a short walking distance to town giant waterslides, wine tastings, boutique and the historic district, the Little Blue shops, penguin tours, stargazing, and music Penguin colony, Oamaru Public Gardens and concerts are just some of the enjoyable local food establishments. diversions along the trail. One of the positive aspects of the cycle trail is Another alternative in Oamaru is Top 10 Holiday Park. There’s a range of quality, that it can be enjoyed on almost any budget: affordable accommodation including from basic backpacker level through to fivecampervan/tent sites, and all with clean and star luxury lodges. You’ll be cycling to Twizel modern facilities. They can also take care of early on in the ride, and the nearby Lake Ohau Lodge is the perfect place for the whole all your local tourism bookings. If you’re staying in the area, a must-see just family to enjoy a break. With dinner, bedand-breakfast packages and four standards of south of Oamaru is Totara Estate – a restored heritage farm and the birthplace of New accommodation, there’s something to suit all Zealand’s billion dollar frozen meat industry. budgets. Plus there are DVDs and ping pong Take the kids for some billy tea and scones for the kids, and a spa for the adults. and learn about the region’s fascinating Groceries can be purchased in bulk at the history. start of the trip and carried along in your When you’ve conquered the trail, an exciting support vehicle, or you can choose to eat out along the way. It’s entirely up to you how detour on your way back to Dunedin is Tekapo Springs. much to spend. Should you decide to stay at Lake Tekapo, There are several ways to experience the Lake Tekapo Motels and Holiday Park offers trail. The A2O has a number of official free on-site parking, gardens and barbecue partner tour companies that offer supported facilities - all overlooking the beautiful blue tours. These tours can be customised to a lake. client’s particular needs, or simply joined as Enjoy your family sojourn into nature this they are. Some of the companies also offer luggage transfer and pick up/drop off services, summer! allowing you to cycle the trail without joining

Oamaru TOP10

• • • • • • • • • • •

Motels Self-contained units Ensuite Units Cabins Powered sites Tent sites BBQ area Jumping Pillow Playground Mini Golf Walking distance to town

Oamaru TOP 10 Holiday Park

30 Chelmer Street, Oamaru info@oamarutop10.co.nz • www.oamarutop10.co.nz Revervations 0800 280 202

TOTARA ESTATE The Victorian Farm Comes Alive A special family day showcasing heritage crafts, animals, machinery, gardening, music, entertainment, games, food and much more… Sunday 3rd April 2016 • 10.30am-4.00pm Admission charges apply

8kms south of Oamaru on SH1 (03) 433 1269 n totaraestate@heritage.org.nz

www.totaraestate.co.nz

www.familytimes.co.nz

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Advertorial

Enjoy heritage and nature from

The family camping holiday is a staple of Kiwi life. Packing up everything but the kitchen sink and heading off to the beach, river or countryside has created memories for many of us over the years.

hile taking kids camping can be a lot of work, the rich experiences are worth it. Finding fun activities for them outside of their usual comfort zone and environment is part of the enjoyment. But if you’re running short on ideas, check out our picks for top kids’ camping activities:

1 Learn how to build a campfire

Obviously there are safety aspects around this. Close adult supervision is needed, as well as a prior check to make sure your planned campfire is permitted and in a good spot, taking into account proximity to objects such as tents, availability of water or a fire extinguisher, and the wind direction. However, it is a great skill for children to learn. First, collect materials. River stones make a great border around a fire-pit, or find other rocks. Dry moss and leaves can be used to start the fire, then add small twigs as it catches (but not snapped off a tree, or “green” as they’ll be wet inside.) You always want air to be able to travel up through the fire, so place sticks in a criss-cross shape leaving gaps, and don’t be tempted to build a great big pile. Keeping your wood to one side and adding it gradually ensures you’ll keep the fire at a manageable level. If you want to cook on it, you need to let the flames die down and allow hot ash and embers to build at the bottom, as this is where the best cooking happens. Don’t forget to fully extinguish your fire before leaving the area or going to bed.

2 Cooking

Of course toasting marshmallows is a given if

you have a campfire, but there are other ideas kids can make themselves or get involved in. Campfire calzone is a great camping meal that kids can make themselves. Take two slices of bread and add favourite savoury fillings, such as salami, ham, pineapple and cheese. Wrap it all tightly in foil and cook in the embers of the fire. You could also try making baked potatoes. Ants-on-a-stick doesn’t involve cooking and is a fun snack younger children might like to make while camping. Spread celery sticks with peanut butter and dot raisins along the top to be the “ants.” They could also make their own customised scroggin for taking on day trips or walks. Help them choose seeds, nuts, raisins and chocolate chips and mix to their liking.

3 Crafts

A scavenger hunt is a great way to collect natural treasures such as leaves, petals and feathers, which can then be used for camp crafts. Press flowers in a book to take home, or make a vase to put wildflowers in by standing twigs around the outside of a jam jar, fixing in place with a couple of elastic bands and decorate with a ribbon tied around. Perfect rustic charm for your camp al fresco dining area! Other ideas can be found at websites like www. freekidscrafts.com and on Pinterest.

Counselling

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Free counselling

Relationship, parenting, child and family counselling available At the Kowhai Centre, our Bachelor of Social Services (Counselling) students are supported by lecturers and experienced counsellors to provide you with a free service which is professional, respectful and accessible. Family challenges > Relationships Parenting > Grief and loss > Stress Self-esteem > Planning and goal setting Life changes Services on campus or weekly in East Otago. Phone 03 479 6198 (please leave a message) Email Kowhai.Centre@op.ac.nz

J02041

Top kids’ camping activities

market place

www.op.ac.nz/ kowhai-centre

Child care Drycleaning

Geocaching

For a more high-tech activity, you could try geocaching. It’s a kind of treasure hunt using the GPS on a smart-phone to navigate and find “caches” hidden by others. Amazingly, they seem to be all over the place, so log onto a geocaching website before you leave home and see if there is one near your camping spot: www.geocaching.com explains it all. Whatever you decide to do on your camping trip, remember to make it relaxed and fun after all, this is the stuff memories are made of. By Sadie Beckman For more on family camping holidays, search “camping” at www.familytimes.co.nz.

Preschool

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Crissi Blair lives with her family in west Auckland and spends her time reading and writing, mostly about children’s books. Crissi organised the Storylines Festival of New Zealand Children’s Writers and Illustrators for three years and publishes the useful guide New Zealand Children’s Books in Print which is updated every year. Visit www.silvertone.co.nz for more information.

Issue 66 | Family Times Dunedin | Summer 2015

Articles inside

Top reads

Sustainable Christmas gifts

Spirit of Christmas

Entertainment

Over-praising kids

Calendar of events

Minding manners