Family Times | Autumn 2019

We’ve Got Parenting Covered

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The weight of parenting gets lighter

Cuddle time The power of hugs

Get crafty creating a bug hotel

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TIME

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editor’s note

Welcome We will never forget the tragically horrific Christchurch events from March 15. How could we? Through the incredible heartbreak for our broken families and city, one thing I’ve learnt is – switch off.

As a parent, how could your heart not drop hearing about the three-year-old who was killed? How could you not feel utter sorrow when you read about a child, the same age as your own, in a critical condition in hospital?

As caregivers, we were given excellent tools by the likes of Nathan Wallis and Nigel Latta, through social media and the news, on ways to shield and protect our children from the terror aftermath. But, as caregivers, how have we been looking after ourselves? Protecting ourselves from the enormity of it all?

As a former news journalist, I needed to know more. I needed to read every story, watch all the coverage, from all media sources.

But who was that helping?

It wasn’t until I was asked to cover the events by a highly reputable international media organisation that I realised – that’s not me anymore. This was the first big event that’s happened since I’d become a mum, and when the call came through, I had my little boy standing right beside me, and I just looked at him and I realised –

that’s who I was now. I’m Austen’s mum, and I needed to be there for him, not off chasing a story.

So, I switched off.

Sometimes I feel that people’s thirst for rolling updates does no one any good. How can it be healthy waiting for the latest twist or developing story? It certainly didn’t do me any good. My mind was working overtime.

By switching off at times like this, we’re not only helping our own mental health, but it means we’re more present with the little ones who need us.

Paying our respects, by visiting and laying flowers, at one of the sites did more for our family than the constant rolling news coverage ever would.

By switching off, we were able to spend more time together as a family and to realise just how lucky we all were to still have each other at such a terrible time.

Kineta

Kineta Booker / Editor kineta@27publishers.co.nz

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christchurchattractions.nz Autumn / 2019

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Contents

20

FEATURES

4

10

​Could I be a better parent?

30​

Jobs for older kids

12​

The weight of parenting gets lighter

32​

Avoiding tech tantrums

13​

More to a mouth than teeth

33​

A parent’s guide to Instagram

3​

Welcome Note​​

14​

Life after loss

34

​Telly puts kids in obesity hotseat

6​

Books and Beats​

15

​The importance of hugs

38

​Self care: me time

8​

We love​​

16

​Resilience and relationships

40

​Coconut banana bread muffins

24​

What’s On Christchurch

18

​Sorry not sorry

41

You can’t quit sugar

26​

What’s On Dunedin​​

19

​Get crafty: hotel for bugs

46

​In the spotlight: Suzy Cato

42​

Fun Zone

19

​Resene: made with love

43​

Giveaways

20

​Starting school at six

22

​The science of being sensitive

35

​Traveling with a two-year-old

23

​Emotion coaching

36

Unforgettable Rotorua

28

​How to talk to teens

37

Experience Kaikoura’s magic

29

S​ owing the seeds of friendship at St Margaret’s

Autumn / 2019

On holiday

REGULARS

16

PLUS, make sure you LIKE our Facebook page to stay up-to-date with happenings and advice, and for plenty of chances to WIN! familytimesnewzealand

contents

familytimes.co.nz is delighted to be a long-term sponsor of The Canterbury Special Children’s Christmas Party, an event that has been giving underprivileged and special needs children the opportunity to celebrate Christmas.

PUBLISHER Twenty Seven Publishers Ltd Lisa Phelan lisa@27publishers.co.nz 021 782 228 EDITOR Kineta Booker kineta@27publishers.co.nz SUB-EDITOR Liam Stretch liam@27publishers.co.nz DESIGN & Production Rachel Brodrick designer@27publishers.co.nz ADVERTISING Shelley Eccleton shelley@27publishers.co.nz 027 631 3288

General Enquiries hello@27publishers.co.nz CONTRIBUTORS Austen Booker, Catherine Sissons, Crissi Blair, Dave Ramsey, Deborah Ward, Diana Patchett, Fiona S Giles, Glenn Ormsby, Grahame Dutton, Kate Barber, Kelly Eden, Liam Donnelly, Lynette Buurman, Michela Homer, Natasha Sandhir, Nathan Wallis, Rachel Cruze, Rachel McFedries, Rebecca W, Sophie Havighurst, Stephen Geddes, Suzy Cato, Vivienne Wallace, Wonita Woolhouse PRINT Blueprint, Christchurch

Family Times is published quarterly and is a registered trademark. While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in this publication, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors, omissions or contrary interpretations of the subject matter contained herein. The reader of this publication assumes all responsibility for the use of these materials and information. Any perceived slight of any person or organisation is completely unintentional. Family Times asserts copyright on all material published within Family Times and none of it shall be reproduced, wholly or in part, without the prior written consent of this publisher. Family Times reserves the right to edit or abridge all letters or other material, whether solicited or otherwise, prior to publication.

familytimesnewzealand

@familytimesnewzealand

Help is at hand Sometimes you need some information or an answer to a curly question – all you need to do is pick up the phone and ask for help.

Christchurch Resettlement Services

After Hours Counselling Services

Free social services for people from refugee and migrant backgrounds. Interpreters are provided.

Providing counselling and relationship services.

03 335 0311 crs.org.nz

Toughlove Support groups for parents dealing with challenging behaviours of young people.

03 337 9452 toughlove.org.nz

SIDS and Kids

027 694 5275 afterhours-counselling services.co.nz

Canterbury Speakeasy A stuttering support group who meets at the University Speech Disorders Unit every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month at 7.30pm.

03 338 8628

Parent Helpline

Dedicated to saving the lives of babies and children; and supporting bereaved families.

For all parenting issues, from those everyday situations to the most serious issue of child abuse.

0800 164 455 sidsandkids.org.nz

0800 568 856 parenthelp.org.nz

ISSN NO. 2324-450X

Autumn / 2019

5

Books and beats

Books

Bibliophile and school librarian, CRISSI BLAIR shares her top picks for different ages and interests.

Mamie

Hazel and the Snails

By Tania McCartney

By Nan Blanchard Illustrations by Giselle Clarkson

Harper Collins $30 The story of a super-creative little girl called Mamie, who loved fairies and being creative. Her family moves to Australia and she discovers a whole new world.

Mamie knows how to find the magic in the world around her. She grew up to create her own books as author and artist, May Gibbs.

Suitable for ages 4+

Annual Ink: Massey University Press $22 This is another of those happy-sad stories. Life is seen through the eyes of Hazel. Her father is dying and mother often absent, but there’s always brother Henry and Gran, friend Meg, and 10 pet snails. Things move at a gentle six-year-old’s pace as life slowly changes. Moving and sweet.

Suitable for ages 6-12

TOP PICK

The Bomb / Te Pohu

George and the Great Bum Stampede

By Sasha Cotter & Josh Morgan

By Cal Wilson

Celebrate the great Kiwi summer tradition of ‘the bomb’ – leaping into the water to create the biggest splash you can, with some extra style if you can do the ‘manu’! A young boy thinks he’ll never be able to get it right, but his Nan has great advice: follow your own heart and do it your way. In English or te reo Māori.

The Peppertons are an unusual family – Mum is an inventor and her latest creation, the Replicator, is very successful, but when the kids take it to school and it falls into the wrong hands, there is chaos including 500 pinching hands and rogue bums on the loose. Hilarious and the first in a series.

Art-tastic

By Gillian Candler

By Sarah Pepperle

Where Dani Goes, Happy Follows

By Rose Lagercrantz & Eva Eriksson

Christchurch Art Gallery Te Puna o Waiwhetū $30

Dani is staying with her grandparents while her dad is away. She realises it’s her best friend’s birthday and begs to be Ella’s ‘surprise present’ so is sent to visit, travelling by train alone. But what can she do when no-one turns up to meet her?

This glorious book is packed with real art and the creative things they can kick off for the reader.

This is aimed at thinking, reading kids, but the ideas would be good for any age with the inclination to try out something artistic. Play with colour, paint a portrait, stick a collage, and umpteen other adventures.

Suitable for ages 6-8

Suitable for ages 7+

Gecko Press $20

Autumn / 2019

Suzy Cato

My best friend Jake is a cyborg (Book & CD) levitybeet.com My best friend Jake is a cyborg won Levity Beet the 2018 'Tui Best Children's Music Artist' award at the 2018 NZ Music Awards. Not only does the album feature curious, exciting, warm and quirky songs but also comes with a beautiful colouring book.

Five Little Ducks (Book & CD) Peter Millet whitcoulls.co.nz Five little ducks went off to school, over the splishy-splashy pool, and one little duck with a schoolbag on her back, she led the others with a QUACK, QUACK, QUACK! Five little ducks need to get to class but oops, what have they each forgotten?

Bubbles’n Squeek

Captain Festus McBoyle captainfestus.com This is album number three for Captain Festus McBoyle. An amazing journey through time and space. Fourteen wonderful tracks, all beautifully produced and guaranteed to blow ya mind! It’s a massive treat for your ears.

FourTunes (Books & CD)

Suitable for ages 7-12

Suitable for ages 4+

6

By

Scholastic $15

Huia $23

Win!

Music for little ears

We have one copy each of Art-tastic, Hazel and the Snails, Where Dani Goes, Happy Follows, The Bomb / Te Pohu, Music Box 5, Let’s Love Our Sea, FourTunes Books & CD, Bubbles’n Squeek, Five Little Ducks, and My best friend Jake is a cyborg to giveaway!

To enter, visit familytimes.co.nz.

Kahuna Kidsongs kahunakidsongs.com Four-in-one fresh and fun story songs to singalong, full of energy, rhythm and fun.

Great for the car, classroom, and home.

Let’s Love Our Sea Chris Lam Sam chrislamsam.com

Children’s music superstar, Chris Lam Sam has collaborated with Young Ocean Explorers to release a song that will inspire a lifelong love of the sea in two to six-year-olds.

Music Box 5

kiwikidsmusic.co.nz As we prepare for the NZ Children’s Music Awards, 2019, it’s wonderful to look back to last year’s awards with a selection of the amazing entries from 2018; including the winner of the Best Children’s Song, Craig Smith’s The Scariest Thing in the Garden.

PAGE HEADER

join the

discovery

trail

Activity for active minds and bodies Blast off to the moon, find your way out of the maze, play a tune! Discover all the different active sites throughout Northlands!

Autumn / 2019

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we love...

Things we’re

buzzing about Tunnel your way through Canterbury Museum

Hannah Beehre has made art you can walk through at Canterbury Museum. Tunnel uses painted velvet, crystals, and a mirrored floor to create the impression of strolling through outer space.

Sparkle for Cholmondeley

canterburymuseum.com/whats-on

Put on some sparkle and support Cholmondeley Children’s Centre’s Little Gems Awareness Month this May. Download the Little Gems Toolkit and get involved. littlegems.org.nz

Adventure time At the new ‘discovery trail’ at Northlands, kids can find their way out of a maze, lily pad jump on a pond, and more! northlands.co.nz

Paint 'N' Sip studio

Dive into your creativity with after school art classes, child-friendly painting sessions, or book the whole studio for a kid’s birthday party or other special event. paintnsip.co.nz

Run and fun at Christchurch’s Marathon

The ASB Christchurch Marathon is back on June 2. Starting at the Town Hall, there is the classic marathon, half, 10km, and the Kids’ Mara’Fun. You could also win a trip to New Caledonia! christchurchmarathon.co.nz

A bag of tricks

Get into acting at Canvas Bag Drama School.

Offering after-school classes for ages 5-13 years, there are places available at Merivale, South Brighton, and Halswell campuses. canvasbag.nz

Skate at The Barn

The only indoor skatepark in the South Island has a variety of jumps, boxes, and rails for skateboards and scooters. It’s perfect for birthday parties too. thebarn.nz

A whole lot of fun Specialising in all things fun, Around A Bounce can sort all your bouncy castle, yard game, and concession machine needs. aroundabounce.co.nz

Fruity favourites

Annies Fruit Bars are 100 per cent real fruit and are the perfect lunchbox addition. Made from just fruit, with no additives, concentrates, colours, or preservatives and no added sugar! annies.co.nz

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Autumn / 2019

PAGE HEADER

Autumn / 2019

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P OSITIVE A G E H E AP DARENTING ER

Could I be a

better parent ? has had years of experience in paediatrics and mental health. She discusses what positive parenting means.

WONITA WOOLHOUSE

Parenting Helpline 0800 568 856

Need someone to talk to about your parenting

P

ositive Parenting is a phrase I hear often, as a way to encourage what I imagine to be warm, thoughtful interactions with our children. The bit that does not quite align for me is when parenting doesn’t feel positive at all – not because the opposite of positive parenting is neglect or abuse – it is simply because there are good days and there are bad days. The truth is, there is room for both. We won’t and we don’t get it right every time. If I’m honest, ever since I was given my baby daughter to hold, I critiqued my parenting skills.

We want the input ‘message’ that will effectively shape the neurophysiology of our child to be “you belong, you are loved and you are safe”. This is fundamentally vital and occurs very early on. It is seen as a pre-requisite for other psychosocial developmental milestones such as empathy, compassion, tolerance, persistence, humility, and a sense of one’s autonomy.

How do I know if I am doing a good enough job as a parent?

The phrase “good enough mother” was first coined in 1953 by Donald Winnicott, a British paediatrician, and psychoanalyst. Winnicott’s research involved observing thousands of babies and their mothers. From this, he learnt that babies and children actually profit when their mothers (and I hasten to include fathers/caregivers) fail them in ways that are physiologically tolerable (excluding abuse and neglect obviously). This, in turn, strengthens your child’s ability to tolerate the ‘not-so-comfortable’ emotions in life, such as feeling disappointment.

Decades on from Winnicott, the ability to be ‘good enough’ parents, I see largely being reflective of one’s own sense of self as ‘good enough’. Being good enough isn’t so much about

10 Autumn / 2019

concerns? You can call our free Parent Helpline

doing interestingly enough. It is more so about authentically coming from your own sense of being “good enough” as a platform to parent from. We are often overwhelmed with how we “should” be parenting and flooded with the ‘ideals’ about getting it ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, when we didn’t send children home with ‘party bags’ after our child’s eighth birthday party, for example.

Social media, the world wide web, magazines, marketing, Dr Phil – it all contributes to our internal dialogue - our voice inside of ourselves.

This dialogue comes with a felt sense of pressure, making it a lot harder to be authentic and to trust one’s own intuition, to attune and to relate with our children, as we parent.

Covert and not-so-subtle influences feed into our internal dialogue of voices that can be heard almost constantly evaluating whether we are actually good enough or if we need to try harder?! To do more, have more, give more, be more! It can and will suck the breath out of you. The good news, of course, is that this incessant internal dialogue is actually within oneself – it can, therefore, be changed. Again, it is not so much about the doing, but becoming aware of one’s dialogue within oneself. Is it familiar? Is it relevant to here and now? Is it harsh or nurturing? Bringing this into one’s own awareness is the beginning of integration, of becoming whole and being in the here and now.

We all have our own experiences and upbringings that shape our internal world and our sense of who we are – or our ‘script’ as Eric Berne termed it in 1961. Our script is our blueprint for how to be in this world and how others view us. Intertwined often, in one’s sense of I’m ‘not-good-enough’, are the painful unattended aspects of oneself or perhaps a concealed feeling of shame. Despite being

for support. Whether routine or complex, we provide anonymous, non-judgmental support and practical advice on all parenting issues.

Parent Helpline: 0800 568 856 between 9am to 9pm, 7 days a week. parenthelp.org.nz

siblings in the family of feelings, there is a clear distinction between shame and guilt. Guilt is feeling bad about something you have done, while shame is feeling bad about who you are or a part of you. As a way of managing all of the above, we may lose sight of what is fundamental, to be ‘good-enough’ parents. Parenting is a journey with your child... take a moment to be in the moment with your child, to laugh with and laugh at oneself! To sometimes get it wrong, acknowledge the rupture in the relationship, repair with care and model that this is how we all learn. Be authentic with your children.

You won’t be a better parent by making yourself feel worse about how you’re already doing – you already are a better parent by wondering, “could I be a better parent”?

Wonita has worked in paediatrics and mental health spanning 20 years. She currently works in private practice now predominantly with ACC Sensitive Claims, as well as supervising facilitators of the Canterbury ‘Mates & Dates’ Programme.

Wonita is also a proud mum to eight-yearold Madison.

TIME MACHINE Written by Andrew Todd

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11

P OSITIVE P ARENTING

The weight of parenting is getting lighter Raising kids can be hard. RACHEL MCFEDRIES discusses how it gets easier with time.

W

hen you’re in the blur of the first few years of raising children, the load can seem neverending. But trust me, it’s not going to be like this forever. The weight does get lighter. My children are now aged six, four, and two years old, and it’s just in the last six months that I have noticed my load lessen.

My eldest has been able to get his own breakfast. He has enough strength and control to pour milk onto his cereal without it going all over the place. He can also open a tin of spaghetti, heat it, and serve it safely by himself. All I have to do is turn the element on for him and hang around to supervise. I'm so thankful for a meal that I don't have to prepare for him, I don't even care that it's not healthy!

he wants to get her and he will jump at the chance. When I give him the time and space to take responsibility, he will hold her hand, help her climb, and lift her around the place.

It's a delight. He also hits her across the head sometimes too, never fear; no kid is perfect.

I know that people say “enjoy the little years”, and honestly – I am trying to. But the reality of parenting three small children is that there's almost constant jobs to do for them/ with them. It's just within the last six months that I've started to feel the intensity and burden of the hard manual years of parenting ease.

These little things make the weight of my parenting role much lighter.

Both of my boys are safe enough now that they stop at intersections without me having to remind them.

They zoom ahead on their bikes, way ahead of me following with their little sister in the buggy. They stop and peer back… I bet they think, “come on Mum, why so slow?!”

They also occasionally dress themselves. I know – it almost seems like a miracle! I don’t even care that they might not do it “correctly”... I'm celebrating this win!

Our eldest has flourished in looking after his little sister. He can lift her out of her cot and bring her out to breakfast. If we hear her waking from her nap, I know I can ask him if

12 Autumn / 2019

I know that there are other challenges ahead; the continued emotional and social growth of my children, the guiding and walking alongside. Heck, I know that parenting never ends!

But for now, I can feel the weight of parenting three kids under six easing, and it's a blessing that I intend to soak in.

May this time be remembered as the parenting milestone that it is. Small children growing up, becoming more physically independent and responsible, and flourishing into the next stage of childhood. Using the skills that I've spent the last few years repeatedly teaching and showing them.

All my hard work is paying off.

The next stage is coming, and I'm grateful.

Rachel is a mum of three who lives in Christchurch and blogs at: thestayathomeot.com

She is a registered occupational therapist who is passionate about play, nature, and mental wellbeing. the_stayathome_ot facebook.com/ thestayathomeot/

P OSITIVE P ARENTING

More to a mouth

than teeth

The mouth can be the window into the rest of the body, and GRAHAME DUTTON and the team at Duxton Dental take this into account when looking at your child’s teeth. With a holistic approach like this, other issues can be revealed.

Y

ou might think your child's orthodontic consult at Duxton would be fairly standard but it goes a lot further than just looking at their pearly whites...

When we perform an orthodontic assessment, we are not only looking for obvious signs such as crowding or poorly positioned teeth, but also things like buck teeth that might be at risk for trauma or for imbalances in the way the jaws come together.

There are even more significant clues, you might not realise, that are valuable pieces of information for a thorough orthodontic assessment.

Does your child breathe through their mouth? When breathing, are the nostrils open on both sides? Poor breathing patterns can have significant effects on general and dental health.

Is your child sleeping well? Do they snore, have interrupted sleep, or is there bed wetting? Do they grind their teeth?

Kids who are in good health should not do any of these and if they do it could indicate airway concerns.

Where is your child's tongue positioned when at rest? And during swallowing? Are the lips opened or closed when resting – you might notice this when they’re watching television? Is there good tongue mobility or could there be a tongue-tie? How big are the tonsils and adenoids? Does your child have any habits that force the teeth apart such as thumb sucking? Any one of these factors could have an impact on tooth position.

We might ask about growth and shoe sizes. We might ask about parents and siblings' teeth. We are not nosey, just thorough, as there are many pieces of the puzzle that make up a complete orthodontic consultation at Duxton Dental.

Grahame Dutton and wife Christine Duxbury established Duxton Dental in 1996.

Their team of dental surgeons have an avowed commitment to researching and implementing new technologies and techniques in order to provide optimal dental care that is minimally invasive and that will stand the test of time.

03 348 5488 / duxtondental.co.nz

FREE ORTHODONTIC CONSULT COME SEE US SO WE CAN START DEVELOPING YOUR CHILD'S BEAUTIFUL SMILE “The aligners are wonderful and have helped me so much.

I wonder what I would have looked like in the future if I hadn’t had them.

Everyone at Duxton Dental is so friendly and it’s a fun place to visit.”

Orthodontic treatment is performed by Grahame Dutton who is a General Dentist with a special interest in Orthodontics.

Autumn / 2019

13

Bump to Bundle

L ife after loss Checking the health of your unborn child in an ultrasound scan is routine during pregnancy, but when you’re told your baby has life-threatening health issues, it’s completely heart breaking. REBECCA W shares her story with Family Times.

M

y husband and I were so excited to start 2011 by finding out we were expecting our first child. Unfortunately, during our scan at 19 weeks, we discovered our baby had some significant health issues which were likely to be lifethreatening. This came as a huge shock, and it felt like our dreams for our family had been shattered. We are so thankful for everyone who supported us over that time, and that we had our Christian faith to carry us through as well. The doctors suggested we

20,000 babies all started with a chat to us

terminate as they did not believe she would make it to full term, but instead, we chose to give her a chance and to carry her for as long as we were granted that privilege. It was a very tough pregnancy, but our amazing little girl beat the odds and was born at 38 weeks crying and breathing by herself!

Hannah Grace was beautiful and we bonded with her immediately.

However, her doctors told us it was unlikely Hannah would survive her first night, and to prepare to say goodbye. As she snuggled in our arms our world somehow felt like it was complete, and yet falling apart; all at the same time. Again, our little fighter beat the odds though, and we were blessed to have six amazing days to spend with her. We loved her passionately and treasured every single moment we had together.

There are no words to describe the heart-breaking devastation we felt as we held our daughter close while she took her last breaths. But we are thankful that for her whole life, Hannah knew nothing but unconditional love from her family. Even though there was intense emotional pain during that week, the joy and love Hannah brought us definitely overshadowed the pain. There was something so special about our daughter that touched everyone who got to meet her. It was a privilege to be able to carry Hannah to term and have her in our arms for six days; and seven years on, her legacy continues.

We have gone on to have three precious rainbow babies since losing Hannah. Our other children are now aged six, four, and almost two; and although they could never replace the child we lost, they have brought a lot of healing to our hearts. They know all about their older sister in heaven, and she is always included in our family.

Hannah is loved and missed by her siblings even though they never got to meet her.

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Book your free nurse phone consultation today on 0800 255 522 or fertilityassociates.co.nz

14 Autumn / 2019

For my husband and I, we’ve had to learn how to parent our three living children while still grieving the child that we lost.

Losing Hannah has given us a different perspective on day-to-day parenting challenges, and means we cherish time with our kids even more than we otherwise would have. It’s tempting to be fearful, anxious, and over protective of them, but God is helping us to have peace as we give them independence. We have had to be intentional in our marriage too, and communicate openly with each other, to ensure that this grief journey draws us closer instead of tearing us apart.

This pain is not something we will ever ‘get over’, but we have learned to move forward one step at a time, and we are so thankful for all four of our precious children.

Ten Tiny Toes

Cuddle time

There is so much more to the simple hug than you might think. KELLY EDEN explains the importance of skin-to-skin contact with your little one.

The importance of hugs

from touch. It’s how they feel safe, comforted, loved and how they express love.

People need physical touch. In society, we have become very conscious of child protection issues, we have forgotten how essential appropriate, loving touch is for our children. For our kids to grow up happy and healthy, we need to ensure we are giving them plenty of cuddles!

Touch is also crucial for social and behavioural development.

Through loving touch, children make strong, positive attachments. In fact, not getting enough touch puts kids at high risk for social, behavioural, and emotional problems. Building a strong sense of attachment, love, and connection to you through touch will give your child the healthy base they need for future friendships and relationships.

One of the most important gifts you can give your child to help them grow, learn and thrive socially as well as emotionally, is a hug.

Hugs help you grow

The first time you hold your baby will probably be skin-to-skin – your tiny fresh newborn snuggled up against your chest. Hospitals started encouraging this when research revealed the power of this close contact which actually helps to regulate your newborn’s breathing and heart rate, calms them, and helps with bonding, growth, and feeding. This is true for both mums and dads giving their baby skin-to-skin time.

Baby carrying and co-sleeping are other ways to get in extra cuddle times. Try stripping your baby down to their nappy and snuggling them against your bare chest under a blanket or warm top, making sure they can breathe clearly. Don’t fall asleep with bub on your chest though. (Read up on safe ways to co-sleep beforehand.)

With baby carrying, it’s best for both you and bub to use an ergonomically designed carrier or wrap: one that spreads babies weight across their legs and also supports your back.

Cuddles make relationships stronger

Physical touch is one of the five 'Love Languages' according to Dr Gary Chapman. These are ways that people feel and express love.

When you hold your child, stroke their hair, or pat their back they feel loved. Your baby’s understanding of the world comes mostly

A loving squeeze calms a tantrum

Infants are not only learning how to eat, move, and talk but are also learning how to manage their own emotions and self-regulate.

Hugging and rocking your crying child helps them to learn to calm and comfort themselves. When young babies and children (or even older children with special needs) are having trouble calming down, try wrapping a blanket around them and giving them a firm, loving hug from behind. Being held in a warm, tight embrace like this has been shown to be incredibly calming for some children.

Whether it’s a full hug, a kiss on the check, or sitting arm-to-arm watching a movie, giving your kids as much loving touch as you can is incredibly beneficial for both them and you!

Kelly learnt about the importance of touch and skin-toskin when her first child was born two months prematurely.

She is a teacher, writer, blogger, and single mum to two wonderful young daughters who certainly love lots and lots of cuddles!

Autumn / 2019

15

little wonders

Resilience

& relationships Growing resilience is not about getting our kids to 'harden up', explains neuroscience educator NATHAN WALLIS. By

Kate Barber.

A

s parents we worry about our kids: we want to prevent falls and fix problems. But, regardless of the support and shelter we offer them, our children will face setbacks and stresses: from daily squabbles over who had it first, to playground bullying, to frightening earthquakes.

Before having kids I hadn’t given much thought to this thing called resilience. Now, with three young children, the world looks and feels different. As I look to an uncertain future, mindful of the prevalence of anxiety and depression among young Kiwis, it strikes me that I need to do all I can to help my kids grow resilience.

In his presentations across the country and overseas, Nathan Wallis emphasises the profound importance of a baby’s/young child’s attachment to a primary carer in terms of the development of their brain, in particular, their frontal cortex – the part of the brain where thinking happens.

of wiring their brains up so that they are able to both reach out to others and problem-solve when they encounter challenges, he says.

Essentially, when it comes to helping them to grow resilience, children need to experience relationships where there is love, trust and empathy – especially when encountering challenges and when emotions are running high. “Your kid needs to know what it’s like when you get down and help them to process their emotions,” says Nathan.

The extent to which a person is driven by their emotional brain (or limbic system) fluctuates throughout their life, but is at its peak around the age of two and again at fourteen, says Nathan.

By extension, young people, driven by their feelings, access their thinking brain (or frontal cortex) the least around these ages.

“Everything that makes you brainy, plus everything that makes you a nice person happens in the frontal cortex,” explains Nathan.

Regardless of age, if you think of any time when you or your child have experienced stress and have had a meltdown, you’ll recognise that your/their emotional brain is in the driving seat and that at that moment your/their logical, rational brain is ‘offline’ and inaccessible.

So, how does this primary attachment and the development of a child’s frontal cortex factor in when it comes to their resilience?

Put simply, “how well you relate to others and how well you problem-solve determines how resilient you are,” says Nathan. The relationships a child has in their early years are so important in terms

With this in mind, ‘emotional processing’ is about engaging with the child’s emotional brain – that is, being responsive, loving and empathic. First and foremost, says Nathan, it’s about “validating their emotions by naming them”: I can see you are feeling really frustrated because he is having a turn before you.

16 Autumn / 2019

little wonders

It’s about supporting and comforting an angry or anxious child, rather than leaping to a logical response – one that invalidates their emotions: you are being ridiculous – you can have a turn after your brother; this is silly – there is nothing to be afraid of. “Put a bit of logic in there,” says Nathan, “but engage with their emotional brain first, and don’t hurry them through their emotions.”

As adults with fully mature brains, this isn’t easy: we operate in our frontal cortex most of the time so by default we tend to jump to the logical response, he says.

There is this embedded cultural assumption that growing resilience is about getting our kids to ‘harden up’. But, says Nathan, this runs counter to what the research says about growing resilience.

In the last 20 years, there has been a proliferation of information about the brain and how it grows.

Nathan Wallis talks about the importance of our interactions with babies and young children in the first 1000 days as their brains ‘wire up’ for life. facebook.com/nathanwallisxfactoreducation

Telling your child to ‘stop crying’ isn’t helpful, and can be damaging. With Big Feelings running rampant in his head, when he is told to ‘stop crying’ or ‘calm down’, the child has no capacity to make sense of these feelings, no language to name them, and no-one to help validate his response and comfort him.

Thriving in a

As Nathan emphasises, you don’t have to be some sort of Super Parent. “Your kid needs to know what it’s like to emotionally process with you,’ and to feel that genuine love and empathy when the wheels fall off; but, he says, ‘it’s not realistic that you’ll be able to do this every time, and you don’t need to. It’s what you do most of the time that matters.”

shares how educators at BestStart teach resilience to children in their care.

In moments of quiet, there is value, says Nathan, in reminding your child about things they have done well, including how well they have managed a challenging situation (and demonstrated resilience). By recalling an observation from the past where your child was able to manage a stressful situation/Big Feelings, you’re helping your child to access those same strategies in the future – whether it’s moving away from a difficult situation, using breathing exercises, or reaching out to a trusted adult for a cuddle.

Essentially, when it comes to helping them to grow resilience, children need to experience relationships where there is love, trust and empathy – especially when encountering challenges and when emotions are running high.

Get ready to sparkle for the month of May

Cholmondeley Children's Centre provides short-term emergency and planned respite care as well as education to children aged 3-12 years whose families are experiencing genuine stress or crisis.

Cholmondeley is asking Canterbury to sparkle for its Little Gems Awareness Month this May, by reaching out to the community to bring people together and fundraise so they can continue to be there for children in times of need. There are lots of ways you can contribute to their Awareness Month in May. To get involved, head to littlegems.org.nz and download the Little Gems toolkit today.

Can you lend a hand and help Cholmondeley sparkle?

Do you have a few spare hours? Want to help make a difference in your local community?

Cholmondeley is looking for volunteers to help with their Little Gems Street Appeal on Friday 24 and Saturday 25 May. Sign up at littlegems.org.nz or email fundraising@cholmondeley.org.nz

changing world MICHELA HOMER

I

n a rapidly changing landscape, education across the world needs to be focused on providing a curriculum that is responsive to children so that they are able to thrive in a world that we can’t yet predict.

We all want our children to be problem solvers who don’t give up when things get tough. As a result of this, early childhood educators are gaining awareness that a vital part of healthy child development is teaching resilience.

So, you may be asking what this looks like in practice?

When children are frustrated because they can’t do an activity, we don’t do it for them but we scaffold their learning in ways that encourage them to persevere and try and try again until successful.

You may see this when a child first attempts the monkey bars, for example. They may edge forward at the end of the climbing box and place their hands tentatively on the bars. A trusting teacher will stand near them and initially observe. They’ll encourage the child as they do this over and over again, slowly removing their support so that the child is able to this independently.

Another example is when two four-year-olds are arguing over a toy. Thoughtful trusted teachers will step in and support, only when needed, by helping the children to voice their frustrations in a positive way and encourage them to come up with a problem-solving idea. This takes careful and intentional teaching and deep knowledge of each child. Building resilience sets children up for navigating each new experience that they learn in a healthy and positive manner.

As educators, we know the importance of this and ensure that our teaching and environments promote this at all times.

best-start.org

Autumn / 2019

17

little wonders

Sorry not sorry I

've had this dilemma for a while – should I force a "sorry" out of my kids when they do something wrong? Yes, I want to teach my children to say sorry, just like I teach them to say thank you, or excuse me. But there's something about forcing an apology that just doesn't seem right to me. When they do say sorry, but they say it "sor-ry" with a roll of their eyes, not meaning a word of it, that's even worse.

When I was teaching, there were a number of kids that thought sorry was a magic word they could throw around to avoid getting told off.

Sorry meant, "I'm sorry I got caught." I want to raise kids that are sincere when they say sorry and humble enough to know when they need to. So how do we teach them the skills of genuine apologies?

WHAT MAKES A GOOD APOLOGY?

Associate Professor John Potter, an expert in Dispute Resolution and Conflict Management talks about five Rs of apologising: 1. Recognition – Apologise at the right time. Allow them to cool off and then try to talk.

2. Regret – If you don't mean it, don't say it.

3. Responsibility – This is as simple as saying "I was wrong".

Taking ownership.

4. Remedy – Is there some way to make up for what happened?

5. Realignment – Sometimes a problem needs to be talked about together to resolve it.

A good apology is clear and doesn't use too many words.

Now that we know what a good apology looks like, how do we teach that to our children? In his Ted Talk, defence lawyer Jahan Kalantar shares a very simple approach.

18 Autumn / 2019

Is there a better way to teach our children to say sorry? KELLY EDEN explains how we can use the latest research on effective apologies.

THREE SIMPLE STEPS TO A GREAT APOLOGY

Kalantar says that a good apology shows you understand what you did wrong. He uses a three part sentence: 1. Why – "I'm sorry I called you a name."

2. Because – "Because it hurt your feelings. I was wrong to say that."

3. And – "And I won't do it again."

This is simple and easy enough even for preschoolers to learn.

With young children, I prefer to teach this apology format teamed up with a technique called "Stand and Think" (It can be used with older children too.)

Stand and Think replaces time out. It's better because you can use it anywhere, and it helps children learn to think about their actions and reflect on what they can do next time. It goes like this: + Ask them to stand near you somewhere and have a think. Say, "Stand here until you are ready to talk about what you did."

(There is no time limit. It can be seconds or minutes.) + When they are ready, guide them through the three steps above: -

What did they do/say? (WHY)

-

Why is that not okay? (BECAUSE)

-

What could they have done instead?

-

How can they make up for it? (AND)

+ Say, "Okay, go do that now." If they say they want to apologise then help them learn how. Wait till the affected person is calm, then prompt the child with "I'm sorry I...because...and...".

get crafty

Hotel for bugs As we move into the cooler months, there are plenty of vacancies in this newly-built bug hotel. Made by Kineta Booker .

I

f your children are anything like mine, they are obsessed with bugs. Big ones, little ones, and the downright terrifying ones.

Despite my daily mock protest about not going on the trampoline with my son, because the spiders seem to run and launch themselves straight at me, I took one for the team and built a hotel for the creepy crawlies for his amusement. Actually, I was smart about it and created this at my parents' property so all their grandchildren could enjoy. That’s what I told them, anyway.

Building a bug hotel couldn’t be easier, and its returns are huge. These hotels not only draw bug-loving children but also essential beneficial insects to your garden.

Bugs will naturally find homes under leaves, bark and pretty much anything else, so why not create them a nice comfy space.

It took me just a couple of minutes of searching around my parent's property to find everything I needed:

Building a bug hotel couldn’t be easier, and its returns are huge.

+ fallen leaves + straw + sticks and twigs + pine cones + bark + empty crate to build the layers in It’s a fun activity for the family to create, and even more fun when they start to see the bugs who check in to the hotel over the next few weeks and months.

Made with love

Little hands love creating things for their family and friends. Made by AUSTEN BOOKER , with help from his mum.

I

t’s easy to get creative with Resene’s wide range of colourful paints which have an excellent finish to them. When you combine different colours together with the Resene FX Metallic range, the result is a sparkly success.

INSTRUCTIONS

Materials

3. Just like in the photo, drag the piece of cardboard from left to right.

Testpots: Resene Bright Red, Resene Coriander, Resene FX Metallic Goldmine, Resene FX Metallic Silver Aluminum, Resene Pelorous A piece of a cardboard box 2 x pieces of white card

1. On one piece of card, put blobs of Resene paint all over the first two thirds.

2. Tear a flap off a cardboard box, which will give the artwork texture.

4. If you’re happy with how it looks, leave it to dry. If not, run the cardboard across the paint once more. Leave to dry.

5. In the meantime, draw a heart with a stencil or freehand on the second piece of card. Cut the shape out and discard the shape.

Heart stencil (or a steady hand)

6. Once the artwork is dry, put it together with the heart-shaped frame inside the photo frame.

Stanley knife (or a good pair of scissors)

7. Hello awesome artwork!

Photo frame

TIP: Resene testpots now have a little window in the top of the lid so you can see the actual colour inside. How cool is that!

For all your DIY projects, big or small, visit your nearest Resene ColorShop. resene.co.nz/colorshops

Autumn / 2019

19

Starting school

Starting at six S

tarting school at six - it’s a hot topic that gets discussed frequently around the playground, the kindy carpark, and in online parenting groups. It’s becoming more common for children here in New Zealand, yet can be an incredibly tricky decision to navigate as a parent. There are many factors to take into consideration; your child’s passions and personality, what type of school environment they’ll be entering into, their birth order, and your family’s own personal rhythm and routine.

My six-year-old son had his very first day of school a few weeks ago. When we decided not to start him at five, it really felt like we were going against the grain. But in my heart of hearts, I knew that the classroom wasn’t the right place for my nature-loving adventurous five-year-old boy. He was happiest when he was bug hunting, climbing trees, and building rivers in the sandpit.

I definitely didn’t want that to stop.

There is a growing awareness of the value of play and not pushing formal academic learning too early. More parents are becoming aware of the potential benefits of starting their children later, which can include having more time for social and emotional development. Studies have also shown that when children have a later start at school, there can be less hyperactivity and inattention in the classroom.

20 Autumn / 2019

Is six the right age to start school?

Rachel McFedries explores this ageold debate.

Internationally, the most common age for children to start school is six. We as New Zealanders expect children to start on or near their fifth birthday because that’s what we’ve grown up with; it’s our cultural norm. Yet not many parents are aware that children don’t actually have to start at five; the Ministry of Education states that children can start at any time before the age of six.

So why might you be different and consider starting your child later?

You might have a child who just doesn’t seem quite ready to go into a classroom yet, and that’s okay! Formal learning needn’t be rushed.

Multiple studies show that children’s reading levels even out by age 11, no matter what age they have started formal literacy lessons.

For my family, it was the best option as it allowed us to have an extra year slowing down with three small children. I didn’t have to rush our mornings to get to school by 9am nor be at school for pick up at 3pm. My son went to kindy and playcentre and was able to have another year learning through play, developing his leadership skills, and all without the pressure of school.

Some children might be well suited to start school at five but others might just benefit from having a few more months in the free play environment of kindy or playcentre. As a parent, it’s valuable to know that this option is available and it is okay to choose that path should it suit your family. There can be a flexible approach and it is not a ‘one size fits all’ answer.

StarP t iAnGgE sHcEhAo Do ER l

The facts: + The Ministry of Education requires children to be enrolled in a school (or have an exemption for homeschooling) by their sixth birthday. + Children can continue to attend early childhood education centres until they are six years old. + The ‘20 hours free’ is still available until the child is six years old. + The WINZ childcare subsidy stops when the child turns five (unless the school has advised they can't start until the beginning of the term straight after their fifth birthday).

My tips, if you are contemplating this decision: + Trust your instinct. You know your child best. + Have conversations with your child’s ECE teachers and also the teachers at your chosen school. + Look at how your chosen school incorporates play-based learning in the early years. + Read the research. A good place to start is at educationreview.co.nz or attend a talk by Nathan Wallis (neuroscience educator).

If you do decide to start your child at six:

Would we do this again? Ideally, we would

+ Find like-minded people. This makes the journey so much easier as you are not alone in your decision.

have started our eldest at the beginning of

+ Involve your child fully and have conversations about it early. They will wonder why some of their friends leave for school and some don’t. The standard line we used was “some children go to school when they’re five, others get to stay at kindy until they’re older”. + Try not to worry that your child might be “missing out”. Relax, play, and embrace the journey. You can incorporate early literacy and numeracy through play if you want to.

Term Four 2018 as I felt comfortable that he was more suited for the classroom then.

However, our situation was complicated by the fact that we were waiting for a school ballot result! Our second son turns five in August and he will most likely start at the beginning of 2020 at age five-and-a-half. As for our youngest wee girl, I’m anticipating that she’ll be wanting to follow her older brothers into school and will be emotionally ready for it at very close to five years old.

It’s such an individual journey, and it’s wonderful that we can have the choice.

Autumn / 2019

21

class of their own

The science of being sensitive High Sensitivity can be a hard thing to understand. Kelly Eden delves into this world and reveals that it is not as strange as we might think.

I

n our society, sensitivity can be seen as a problem or disadvantage. When you have a baby or young child that gets overstimulated easily, has trouble sleeping, and finds it hard to self-soothe, it definitely seems like a problem. But high sensitivity is a normal personality trait of 15-20 per cent of the population and there are many incredible things about raising a highly sensitive child.

What makes someone highly sensitive?

High sensitivity looks different in different people. Highly sensitive children can be confident, shy, talkative, excitable, timid, introverted or extroverted. But there are four areas that all highly sensitive people share:

1. Depth of processing

Highly sensitive people think deeply about things.

They are the kids who like quite a bit of thinking time before they make decisions or ask lots of questions when they learn something new. Highly sensitive kids are curious, deep thinkers and will constantly surprise you with their ideas and the little amazing things that they notice in the world around them!

2. Overstimulation

Highly sensitive people get overstimulated easily because of all the deep processing they are doing. Of course, all young children and babies get overstimulated, so the key element here is that they are MORE easily overwhelmed than others their age.

3. Empathy/ emotional responsiveness

Highly sensitive people are extremely aware of their own emotions and those of others. They are very tuned in on emotions. Emotions are the language of highly sensitive people, and because of this, highly sensitive kids are incredibly kind and empathetic towards others.

22 Autumn / 2019

4. Sensitivity to subtleties

Highly sensitive people tend to notice the little details or make connections that others fail to see. They pick up on subtle cues and see the beauty in things. Because their nervous system is wired to process stimulation deeply, they notice all those little sensations that others don’t seem to.

Highly sensitive people have all four of these aspects. Some other traits or conditions (that could get confused with High Sensitivity) have similar aspects, such as Giftedness, Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder, Anxiety, and ADHD. Someone with Autism or Anxiety may be easily overstimulated at a party, or a gifted child may process deeply. These conditions, though, have different biological roots to High Sensitivity, but it is possible for a child to be both Highly Sensitive and have ADHD, for example.

Is your child highly sensitive? Here are seven behaviours you may notice: 1. Time limits/deadlines or harsh correction causes a meltdown.

2. They ask a lot of deep questions.

3. They notice when others are feeling down, even if the other person hasn’t expressed it out loud.

4. They are quite bothered by noisy places (like a restaurant or a busy daycare).

5. They feel things deeply and are highly emotional.

6. They may use large words for their age.

7.

They don’t cope well with change or big surprises.

Want to learn more? Check out Dr Elaine Aron’s book The Highly Sensitive Child or highlysensitiverefuge.com if you think your child may be a highly sensitive person.

Kelly Eden is a teacher with a background in childhood disorders and behaviour, a writer, blogger and single mum to two wonderful highly sensitive daughters. Kelly is also a highly sensitive person herself and enjoys encouraging people to embrace their sensitivity as a superpower! lifewithlittleandlula.com

class of their own

Emotion

coaching for the

earthquake generation

is a co-author of the Tuning into Kids programme. On a recent visit home to New Zealand, she offered South Island parents some helpful tips.

Dr SOPHIE HAVIGHURST

T

uning into Kids is an international parenting course that teaches parents how to recognise, understand, and respond to the emotions of children in an accepting and supportive way. This approach helps children to become emotionally intelligent, which leads to increased self-confidence, greater physical health, better performance in school, and healthier social relationships.

Dr Havighurst’s top tips for understanding your child’s emotions are:

Q1.

What happens for a child when their emotions are supported?

Firstly, the child feels heard, understood, connected, and not alone with their big, overwhelming feelings. This helps the child to calm down.

Secondly, the parent often helps put words to what the child is feeling and experiencing. For example, “it sounds like you're worried Lucy won't play with you today”. This process helps shift the child's experience from the feeling part of the brain to the thinking part.

Q2. What prevents parents from effectively emotion coaching their children?

Sometimes it's just the circumstances – parents might be in a hurry or overwhelmed themselves. Sometimes parents don't have the skills to know how to respond, or they fear what will happen – they don't trust that going toward emotion, instead of shutting it down, will actually lead to a better outcome for their child. And some people's beliefs about emotion get in the way, for example, “anger is bad” or “boys don't cry”.

Q3. You enjoyed a typical idyllic Kiwi childhood. In recent

years, our children in the South Island have experienced a far less idyllic start: 10,000 plus earthquakes in their formative years. How can emotion coaching help our children and their families?

As loving parents, we try to protect our children from pain – we try to distract them or provide rational thinking strategies. These can be helpful, but often we miss the emotion involved. Sometimes

parents need to do the opposite – allow their child to express their strong feelings of, for example, fear and worry.

At Tuning into Kids, we encourage parents to slow down and hear their child's pain before rushing in with a solution. For example, be connected physically to your child: wrap them in a hug. At the same time say things like, “it can be really scary, can't it?” Only once their child has started to calm down should parents explore things like, “I wonder what would help you go to school today?”

Q4.

How can emotion coaching support children that are experiencing ongoing anxiety?

Anxiety can stay for a long time even when a child feels heard and supported. So, as well as responding with empathy, parents need to teach children skills to manage their anxious feelings, for example, through slow breathing and using props like a necklace or pounamu that they can touch when feeling worried.

Parents also need to tune in to children's worries so they can recognise when a child's big feelings around a small issue, such as the frustration of toast being buttered the wrong way, are actually caused by the small issue triggering underlying anxious feelings.

Q5. Is emotion coaching only for families experiencing problems?

No. The emotion coaching skills taught at Tuning into Kids are not just parenting skills, they're relationship skills. People often say the skills improve their relationship with their partner, their adult siblings, and even their work colleagues. Really, it's about tuning into others, not just kids.

Several times a year Family Works offers the Tuning into Kids parenting course to Canterbury parents. To learn more, contact Janice Huddy: 03 363 8214 / familyworksuppersouth.org.nz

Autumn / 2019

23

03

Northlands

From 1 April

Until June

canterburymuseum.com/whats-on

Get hands-on with pounamu at Canterbury Museum’s exhibition Kura Pounamu: Our Treasured Stone. It features 200 pieces of greenstone ranging from huge boulders to intricate pendants.

Kura Pounamu, Canterbury Museum

Until 3 June

CHRISTCHURCH

ontrackevents.co.nz

Prepare to join The NZ Wizarding Academy! Professors from Zealandia’s Saremcroft Wizarding Academy will be out on the school’s Magical Steam Locomotive “The Wizarding Express” to locate new magical talent to join the Academy.

Wizarding Academy Express, Ferrymead Railway Station Cnr Ferrymead Park Drive & Bridle Path Road

13 April

wekapassrailway.co.nz

Only 50 min from central Christchurch, the Weka Pass Railway is a historic rural railway using both vintage steam and diesel-electric locomotives out of Waipara, North Canterbury. So much fun for the family!

Weka Pass Railway, Waipara Glenmark Station

7 April, 5 May, 19 May & 2 June

gardencityrotary.org.nz/mcdonaldsyouth-duathlon

Black Cat Cruises,

drbugs.co.nz

Dr Bugs is opening their factory for the day to teach you all about popcorn! During the 30-45 minute long factory tour, you’ll get to watch popcorn being made, taste it hot off the production line, and learn about what makes popcorn ‘pop’.

Dr Bugs Popcorn Factory Tour, 89a Sturrocks Road, Christchurch

16 April

courttheatre.org.nz

Dr Harriet Wells has invented a Time Machine. Lord Fotherington-Smythe, thinks that’s nonsense. In order to prove him wrong, Wells sets out on a journey through time that will lead her to being chased by a T-Rex and travelling to a future that is controlled by mean robots!

All tickets $10

Time Machine, Court Theatre, Addington

Wear your red and black to support the Tactix as they take on the Pulse at home.

The McDonald’s Duathlon is a community event run by volunteers from Garden City Rotary Club. Entrants can look forward to receiving a competition medal, a gift pack of sponsors’ products and a competition t-shirt.

christchurchattractions.nz

Enjoy a journey in style through the changing face of Christchurch’s city centre on board these beautifully restored heritage Trams, one of Christchurch’s leading attractions. Great for the family to enjoy!

Christchurch Trams

ticketrocket.co.nz

Plenty of home rugby this season, where the BNZ Crusaders take on the Sharks (3 May) and then the Blues (25 May). Both games are at 7.35pm.

Crusaders Rugby, Christchurch Stadium

3 & 25 May, 7.35pm

tactix.org.nz

The Good Oil Tactix vs Te Wānanga o Raukawa Pulse, Horncastle Arena

Youth Duathlon, Hagley Park Netball Courts

christchurchmarathon.co.nz

The annual Queens Birthday Weekend event has something for everyone, including the Kids’ Mara’Fun. Every finisher goes into a draw to win a trip to New Caledonia.

Christchurch Marathon

2 June

TOP PICK

tactix.org.nz

Join us for our last home game of the regular season. It’s a game not to be missed!

Doors open at 1pm with two games of netball throughout the afternoon...

The Good Oil Tactix vs Splice Construction Magic, Horncastle Arena

19 May, 1-6pm

If you have an event you’d like to add to our winter calendar, email kineta@27publishers.co.nz.

29 April, 6.30pm

13-27 April

this autumn

7 April, 7-11am

What’s on

Brimming with fun and excitement, the new season delivers a range of activities to keep the kids entertained through the school holidays, and beyond.

Pull me out and pin me up

CHRISTCHURCH EVENT CALENDAR

facebook.com/halswelltrains

Perfect for anyone interested in the design, construction, and operation of models and machines.

Halswell Miniature Trains, Sundays 1-4pm, Halswell Domain

courttheatre.org.nz

A previous highlight on the KidsFest calendar, The Early Early Late Show is now being performed on the first Sunday of every month, bringing the fun and chaos of Scared Scriptless to an all-ages audience. $13

The Early Early Late Show, Court Theatre, Addington

7 April, 5 May & 2 June, 4pm

ticketrocket.co.nz

Soak up the exciting atmosphere as the BNZ Crusaders take on the Brumbies (6 April, 5.15pm), Highlanders (12 April, 7.35pm) and then the Lions at home (26 April, 7.35pm).

Crusaders Rugby, Christchurch Stadium

6, 12 & 26 April

raiseabundle.org.nz/funrun

This non-competitive fun run or walk is open to all ages and fitness levels! We want you to run or walk up to 24km, alongside or ‘in the shoes of ’ the mums, dads, grandparents, aunties, uncles, and caregivers who give their all, 24 hours a day, to raise future generations.

The Christchurch Plunket Fun Run 2019, North Hagley Park

6 April, 10am-3pm

northlands.co.nz

Join the discovery trail at Northlands.

Blast off to the moon, find your way out of the maze, and play a tune. Explore Northlands and find all the activities for active bodies and minds.

13

13-14

imagination-station.org.nz

They have a dedicated play area on Hapori | Community (level one), and classes will be run on Auahatanga | Creativity (level four).

Tūranga is open Mon-Fri 9am-8pm, Sat-Sun 10am-5pm

Imagination Station, Tūranga, Christchurch Central Library

ferrymead.org.nz

Give yourself the night off cooking and take the family to the night markets for food, music, crafts and face painting on the first Saturday of each month. Gold coin donation. And, visit the park on the second Sunday of every month for unlimited tram and train rides included within the admission price.

Ferrymead Night Market, Ferrymead Heritage Park, 50 Ferrymead Park Drive

April

premier.ticketek.co.nz

One of the world’s best-loved musicals, Cats, will embark on its most extensive tour of New Zealand ever in 2019. The musical tells the story of a tribe of cats called the Jellicles and the night they make what is known as “the Jellicle choice” and decide which cat will ascend to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new life.

Cats, Christchurch Town Hall

13-14 April

April

kadododrumanddance.co.nz

Kids African Drumming and Dance Workshop, Thorrington Primary School Come and share in the joy of West African Music with this very special workshop specifically for children. No experience needed, and drums provided.

23 April, 1.30-4pm

tactix.org.nz

The Good Oil Tactix vs Northern Stars, Horncastle Arena Let’s fill up Horncastle Arena with lots of noise as well as our colours, red and black, and take it to the next level both on and off the court in 2019!

23 April, 6.30pm

thegeorge.com

Easter Egg Hunt & High Tea, The George, 50 Park Tce Join us for a morning of kids games and enjoy an Easter egg hunt followed by a special Easter-themed high tea. Games start from 11.15am with high tea served at 12 noon. Bookings essential.

21 April, 11.15am-3pm

forestrunfest.co.nz

The Forest Run Fest is a new initiative in Christchurch. A morning for all levels of walkers and runners, get out there, compete and breathe in the fresh forest air with your family and friends.

Forest Run Fest, Bottle Lake Forest Park

20 April, 8-11am

blackcat.co.nz

Join the magical Akaroa Harbour Nature Cruise. Spot a Hector’s dolphin or cruise again for free.

Akaroa Harbour Wharf

4-5

facebook.com/hororatanightglow

Experience hot air balloons firing up the night sky! Surrounding the Night Glow will be an autumn festival including live music, children’s entertainment and an amazing array of street food. This unique autumn festival will entertain the whole family.

Hororata Night Glow, Hororata Domain

18 May, 3-8.30pm

Mother’s Day!

12 May

toyandhobbyfair.wordpress.com

A huge range of interesting toys are offered for sale at this annual event which is supported by trades, collectors, hobbyists and modellers. Classic vintage collectibles or collectibles of the future!

Christchurch Toy and Hobby Fair, Canterbury Caledonian Society Hall

5 May 10.30am-2.30pm

May

petanimalexpo.co.nz

Home of the cute and cuddly, fluffy and fabulous. The Pet & Animal Expo is the happiest show of all to attend. Don’t miss all the action in the performance arena!

But, please, do not bring your own pets!

Christchurch Pet & Animal Expo 2019, Pioneer Leisure Centre

4-5 May From 10am

oranawildlifepark.co.nz

Have a wild time at New Zealand’s only open-range zoo. The park is home to New Zealand’s only gorillas.

Orana Wildlife Park, 793 Mcleans Island Road

willowbank.co.nz

Willowbank is great fun for the whole family with lots of animals to hand feed, as well as a great café. Grab an annual pass and visit as many times as you like!

Willowbank Wildlife Reserve, 60 Hussey Road

babyexpos.co.nz

New Zealand Baby Expo is coming to Christchurch for another fantastic show!

Discover all you need to know for you, your pregnancy, or young child.

Christchurch Baby Expo 2019, Pioneer Leisure Centre

8 & 9 June, 9am

facebook.com/ rangioranewlifeschoolmidwintermarket

Indoor Midwinter Christmas Market.

Over 30 market stalls, PTA cake stall, hot food, silent auction. Fun for all!

Midwinter Christmas Market, Rangiora New Life School

8 June, 10am-3pm

cdp.com.au/rotb_nz

How the cat purred and how the witch grinned, as they sat on their broomstick and flew through the wind. When a hungry dragon appears, who will save the poor witch? And will there ever be room on the broom for everyone?

Room On the Broom, Isaac Theatre Royal

2-6 June, 2pm

DUNEDIN CALENDAR

What’s on

this autumn

DUNEDIN

14 April, 1-2.30pm

14-29 April

17 April

Sunday Sounds – Kids Concert, Dunedin Botanic Garden, Opoho Rd

Larnach Castle – Kids go free!

Larnach Castle, 145 Camp Rd

Cats, Regent Theatre, 17 The Octagon

Kids Go Free includes full entry to the castle including the tower, ballroom cafe, gift shop, castle gardens, grounds, historic stables and outbuildings. There is no limit on the number of children you can bring, however they must be accompanied by one paying adult.

One of the world’s best-loved musicals, Cats, is embarking on its most extensive tour ever of NZ. The musical tells the story of a tribe of cats called the Jellicles and the night they make what is known as "the Jellicle choice" and decide which cat will ascend to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new life.

5 & 20 April, 7.35pm Highlanders Rugby, Forsyth Barr Stadium Soak up the exciting atmosphere as the Highlanders take on the Hurricanes (5 April) and then the Blues (20 April).

Join award winning singer/ songwriter Rainbow Rosalind and her musical friends who are guaranteed to delight children with a mix of singing and dancing – a performance not to be missed.

ticketrocket.co.nz

Rialto, 11 Moray Place

12 April Alice In Wonderland, Regent Theatre, 17 The Octagon Melbourne City Ballet pay homage to this well-known novel by Lewis Carroll with this enchanting ballet complimented by one of Tchaikovsky’s most famous scores. ticketdirect.co.nz

Bring the whole family to Rialto Cinemas during the autumn holidays to get the cheapest family pass deal in town. See The Lego Movie 2 and Wonder Park, which all adventurous kids will love!

larnachcastle.co.nz

April

14-29

ticketdirect.co.nz

April

rialto.co.nz

Penguin Place, 45 Pakihau Rd, Harington Point Penguin Place is the world’s first entirely tourism-funded conservation programme. The funding they receive provides habitat restoration, predator control, a research programme and on-site rehabilitation care for penguins that are sick, starving or wounded. penguinplace.co.nz

19-25 April 15-18 April, 11am-1pm Easter Hunt, Meridian Mall

17

Port to Port Cruises and Wildlife Tours, 837 Portobello Rd, Dunedin

Complete the Easter Hunt to be in to win great prizes!

Jump on the Harbour Ferry and arrive at various harbour locations in style. Free family activities around the harbour!

meridianmall.co.nz

porttoport.co.nz

BEST VALUE FAMILY PASSES AT THE BEST CINEMA IN TOWN! experience the best of both worlds at the otago museum

2D FAMILY PASSES* $29 1 ADULT, 2 KIDS $39 2 ADULTS, 2 KIDS *CONDITIONS APPLY

more information at otagomuseum.nz/tuhura 26 Autumn / 2019

#

All-day combo passes and family passes available at the Museum Shop

2 SMALL POPCORNS

FOR $5 ANYTIME!

Present this voucher at Rialto Cinemas to purchase two small popcorns for only $5 - save $4!

Limit one per customer. Valid until 23 June 2019.

DUNEDIN CALENDAR

Brimming with fun and excitement, the new season delivers a range of activities to keep the kids entertained through the school holidays, and beyond.

20, 24, 25 & 27 April, 12-1pm

If you have an event you’d like to add to our winter calendar, email kineta@27publishers.co.nz.

23 April, 1-3pm

12 May

9 June, 12pm

Mother’s Day!

Tuhura Thrills, Meridian Mall

Meet the Southern Steel, Meridian Mall

The Star Regent 24 Hour Book Sale, The Regent Theatre

Lunchtime science demos, at the far end of the food court, with these activities and more.

Meet the Southern Steel players and be in to win! Find them at the far end of the food court.

Help raise money for the theatre by buying pre-loved books. Fun trip out for the family.

meridianmall.co.nz

meridianmall.co.nz

facebook.com/regentdunedin

22-28 April

26 April, 11am-12pm

22 June, 5.30pm

Hunt for Highlanders, Meridian Mall

Dunedin Midwinter Carnival

Wild Dunedin Check out their programme online to experience the New Zealand Festival of Nature. wilddunedin.nz

22-28 April

Hunt for the Highlanders, at the far end of the food court, with these activities and more. meridianmall.co.nz

4 May, 7.35pm & 11 May, 5.15pm Highlanders Rugby, Forsyth Barr Stadium The Pulse Energy Highlanders are playing plenty of home rugby this season, make sure you get in on the action. Highlanders take on the Chiefs (4 May) and then the Jaguares (11 May). ticketrocket.co.nz

TOP PICK 18 May Teddy Bear Hospital Community Day, Hunter Centre, Frederick Street Bring your sick teddies to the Teddy Bear Hospital and get them checked out by one of the Teddy Doctors or Dentists. Run

by Otago Medical Students to create a positive experience for young children so that some of the anxiety, fear and confusion experienced when visiting the doctor or dentist can be removed. tbhdunedin.com

This annual event celebrates Dunedin’s local seasons, and takes place on the Saturday closest to the Winter Solstice in The Octagon. midwintercarnival.co.nz

Royal Albatross Centre, Otago Peninsula Visit the only mainland breeding colony of Royal Albatross in the world.

Book a tour to see the amazing Royal Albatross, learn fascinating insights into these majestic monarchs of the sea from the expert guides. On a breezy day you may even see them fly by with their huge three metre wingspan – a sight you’ll always remember. albatross.org.nz

LARNACH CASTLE New Zealand’s Castle

Email: info@larnachcastle.co.nz Ph: 0800 527 6224 www.larnachcastle.co.nz Term & Conditions apply Valid for New Zealand School Holidays only Children must be accompanied by one paying adult

L ike our

Facebook page familytimesnewzealand Regular private clinics held in Dunedin & Central Otago

And stay up-to-date with happenings and advice, and for plenty of chances to WIN!

Don’t forget to follow us on instagram mhc.co.nz/Services/Paediatrician

familytimesnewzealand Autumn / 2019

27

Tweens and Teens

How to talk to teens

In an extract from his book Why Won’t My Teenager Talk to Me? Dr. JOHN COLEMAN discusses insightful and practical advice for parents and caregivers to encourage positive and respectful communication with their teenagers.

O

ne of the main reasons I called this book: Why Won’t My Teenager Talk to Me? is that this is a question so often asked when parents of teenagers come together in a group. I have run many groups for parents of young people, and I am always surprised at how often adults believe that communication with their teenager has broken down. Being able to communicate with your teenager is the key to a good relationship.

Communication is a two-way process. It involves listening as well as talking. However, it goes further than that. Each person influences the other. How your teenager behaves will have an impact on you; however, you too are playing a part. What you do, and how you behave, has a direct influence on how your teenager behaves.

No one finds it easy to be the parent of a teenager. What is the right way to be a parent at this stage? What is the best way to communicate with someone who seems not to be listening?

Talking matters because effective parenting is not possible without it.

28 Autumn / 2019

HERE ARE FIVE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

1. Timing – Choose your time. In a car or late at night are often good times to talk.

2. Useful hooks – Use hooks like news items, or events that are occurring in films, or TV programmes to start a discussion. Talking about things that are happening to other people outside the home may be easier than talking about more personal things.

3. Share – Be willing to talk about yourself. People often find it easier to talk if the other person discloses a little about themselves.

4. Act – Offering to make the young person a snack may be a better way to start a conversation than asking a direct question.

5. Listen – Communication goes two ways. The more you show you are listening, the more the other person will talk.

There are particular things about the adolescent stage of life that have a direct impact on communication. The teenage years are a process, a time of change and development.

Over the last ten years or so some important and useful information from research on teenagers has become available. The development of scanning techniques has made it possible to learn what happens in the brain at different stages of life. There is rapid and fundamental change in the brain during the teenage years.

This new knowledge about teenagers can help us understand them better. The more adults understand what happens in the brain at this time, the easier it will be to manage relationships.

Dr. John Coleman trained as a clinical psychologist. He is the founder of a research centre studying adolescents and their families. His pioneering and widely recognised work includes workshops for parents of teenagers, two television series, books and videos on the adolescent years.

Education

Sowing the seeds of friendship

Children are impressionable things, says Diana Patchett, Executive Principal at St Margaret’s College.

Here, she discusses how we can encourage positive habits in our young ones.

I love to spend time in the St Margaret’s College Pre-School; it never fails to brighten my day. Sliding in alongside the free play of children offers a beautiful insight into their wonderings, their imagination and their growing understanding of the world around them. It can also be a direct line of sight into the family home. Many parents may be surprised (perhaps shocked) to know that the behaviour of their children in these natural moments is also often a clear reflection of parent behaviour.

Children do what they see adults do. From a very early age, they begin to learn by imitation – ‘monkey see, monkey do’ describes the typical training ground for children when acquiring the early skills of life. It is during these impressionable years that parents take advantage of their power as a role model in teaching their child to brush their teeth, use a knife and fork, and establishing any number of other positive habits.

As children get older, they identify with parents and other significant adults and begin to

model their behaviour on those who they form relationships with, who they love and admire.

By now, our young people have established most of the essential life skills, but their attitudes and dispositions are still very much ‘under construction’. Will they be someone who judges someone based on race? Will they offer assistance to anyone in need? Will they think it is okay to drop their litter on the ground? Will they be kind?

With young people exposed to such a plethora of potential influencers – real and virtual, you can see how important it is for the school environment to be one that surrounds children with adults who are role models for positive behaviour. At St Margaret’s, we don’t leave these unintended lessons to chance. We are a community that actively looks for opportunities to demonstrate.

At the core, from Kindergarten through to Year 13, our programmes provide a common language and focus for the development of internationally minded people who, recognising their common

humanity and shared guardianship of the planet, help to create a better and more peaceful world.

Key attributes such as being caring, open-minded and principled, are woven into the curriculum and lived each day by teachers, staff, and students.

We are proud of the academic, cultural, and sporting achievements of our students, but it is the fact that they are genuinely nice people that matters most. We take our responsibilities for enabling young people to be the best people they can be very seriously, and we invest time and resources to optimise staff welfare and then reap the many benefits of a happy school.

A child is a mirror, an echo field that returns what is sent in its direction. We don’t always see the connection between our behaviour and a child’s behaviour, but it is there. In the words of Dorothy Law Nolte, “If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place to live.”

WE LOVE IT, YOU WILL TOO! Book your personal tour today Please contact: Lizzie Dyer, Registrar: (03) 353 2563 enrol@stmargarets.school.nz

www.stmargarets.school.nz

Autumn / 2019

29

Money Matters

Jobs for

older kids and tweens

In her book Smart Money Smart Kids, Rachel Cruze explains how you can develop working skills for older kids and tweens.

W

hen your kids are in the six-to thirteen-year-old age range, you need to upgrade their chores. By six, they are ready for a little more responsibility, so you can start to add more jobs and provide less hands-on help as they complete them. We recommend listing their tasks on a chore chart and sticking it on the fridge so they see it every day. Make a big deal when they complete a task and check off the item as done. Some great household jobs for this age range include:

+ Cleaning windows

+ Making their own bed

+ Babysitting

+ Feeding pets

PAY WEEKLY

+ Washing the car + Doing outside work + Cleaning the bathroom As they get a little older, you can encourage them to find some ways to make money outside your home. You can help them brainstorm new ideas, such as:

+ Walking dogs

+ Vacuuming and sweeping + Sorting, folding, and putting away washing + Cleaning the dishes + Watering plants

+ Doing outside work for others If your child has an entrepreneurial spirit, encourage that by helping make fliers to advertise his or her new business.

At this age, you can start paying commissions weekly instead of immediately. By now, your child should have already learned the crucial work-money connection, so it isn’t as important to have the immediate reward of a payout.

Knowing that they have to work throughout the week but they’ll only get paid once a week teaches kids lessons in delayed gratification and patience.

Besides, that’s how the real world works, right?

In our house, every Sunday night was “payday,” so we would grab our chore charts off the refrigerator, see whether or not we had completed all of our jobs, and then Dad would pay us for the work. If I only did three of my five chores, then guess what? I got three dollars, not five.

Our parents never paid us for work we didn’t do.

That’s not how life works, and it’s not how our family functioned, either.

SCOU TS present a fun world of experiences and chances to learn new skills for all ages.

Visit scoutgroupdirectory.co.nz for the contact details of a group near you!

KEAS

Girls and Boys 5 - 8 YEARS 30 Autumn / 2019

CUBS

Girls and Boys 8 - 11 YEARS

scouts.org.nz SCOUTS

younG PeoPle 11 - 14 YEARS

VENTURERS

younG PeoPle 14 - 18 YEARS

M oP nAeG y EMHaEtAtD eE rR s

ENVELOPE SYSTEM FOR KIDS

This is also the perfect time to start teaching your children about what to do with the money they’re making. We’re going to suggest you have your child divide their income across three key areas: spending, saving, and giving. Give each child three specific envelopes: one named Spend, one named Save, and one named Give. Write those words big and bold across the envelope or let the kids decorate their envelopes however they want. Every dollar they earn in commission needs to be spread across these envelopes.

You can also apply this to any birthday or gift money they receive throughout the year.

Here’s how it worked for us on Sunday nights: I would take the five dollars I earned and put one dollar in the Give envelope (because giving always came first in our family), two dollars in the Save envelope, and two dollars in the Spend envelope. That’s the most basic form of budgeting, but it works – even for a six-year-old.

The Spend envelope was fair game. We could use that however we wanted. It was meant to be enjoyed because money can be fun! The Save envelope was basically a long-term Spend envelope. I wasn’t saving for college or a house or anything at that age. My parents encouraged us to set savings goals, like for a certain toy that would take weeks or months to earn enough money to buy. As our savings grew and we hit our goal, we’d proudly take the Save envelope to the store and bring home our major purchase. This teaches your little ones about patience, goal-setting, and delayed gratification – three things a lot of adults still struggle with!

The Give envelope was extremely important in our house, which is why it was the first thing we did with our money. By the time I was six, my parents had stopped giving me their money to drop in the offering plate at church, and I took my own money from my Give envelope. Giving his own money changes a child’s whole understanding of giving.

From health sector to new tech role

says transitioning to a tech role was made possible by the school friendly hours of SHIFT. JESS WREN

J

As a #1 New York Times best-selling author and host of The Rachel Cruze Show, Rachel helps people learn the proper ways to handle money and stay out of debt. She’s authored three best-selling books, including Love Your Life, Not Theirs and Smart Money Smart Kids, which she co-wrote with her father, Dave Ramsey. rachelcruze.com

SHIFT to a

Career in Tech

ess is a mum and qualified radiation therapist, who was looking to change her career direction. She completed SHIFT in 2018, an innovative one-year course to allow people with any degree background to move into tech. Jess has since landed an exciting new role with one of New Zealand’s largest tech companies. Offered in Christchurch and Dunedin, SHIFT offers a mix of practical learning and industry project work, to develop current tech skills and gain valuable industry experience.

“Coming into SHIFT with no tech background, I never dreamed I would be working on real tech projects within just a few months of starting.

These really extended my new tech skills, and during my internship, I worked closely with the development team and the client, which was a huge responsibility and fantastic learning curve,” Jess says.

Jess’s project work included developing a sports tracking widget and a map app. She interned as a project coordinator with Datacom, and she has now joined the team.

SHIFT’s school-friendly hours allowed Jess and other parents to pursue a new career whilst juggling family commitments. The opportunity to study and work alongside local employers is a real bonus as it opens doors into the industry.

To find out more about SHIFT, have a chat with the friendly team at SIGNAL on 0800 99 00 24 or pop along to a SIGNAL Tech Careers and Pizza Night - bring a friend and register through signal.ac.nz/shift.

“Adding tech to my health science degree really boosted my career options. You don’t need to know where in tech you are going right from the start, you can find your way throughout SHIFT. Absolutely do it!”

Jess Wren (SHIFT Graduate) Service Delivery Manager, Datacom

Not all tech careers are about coding Tech jobs exist in every industry and the tech sector is NZ’s third largest export earner.

Christchurch and Dunedin

Combine ANY DEGREE with the innovative SHIFT programme and kickstart your new career today.

Talk to us today

Next intake: July 2019

signal.ac.nz/shift

0800 990024

SIGNAL is powered by:

Autumn / 2019

31

technology

Avoiding tech tantrums Kids love playing video games but the resulting “tech tantrums” can be anything but lovely! Deborah Ward looks at why online gaming can be addictive and how we can help our kids play without getting hooked.

O

nline video games have never been so popular. More than 200 million people around the world are playing Fortnite, including prominent athletes and other celebrities so there is little wonder that adolescents find the free multiplayer game so appealing.

However, many parents are concerned that their children might be becoming too absorbed in Fortnite and child behavioural specialist Lorrine Marer thinks they are right to be worried. Marer compares the game to heroin. But this seems a little extreme; is an online game really as harmful as a drug?

Online gaming addiction is a very real problem. In 2018, the World Health Organisation recognised gaming disorder as a disease for the first time.

However, the WHO also stresses that, while digital games are hugely popular, only a small percentage of gamers could be classified as having the disorder.

Offering some reassurance to parents, Attitude senior presenter Christian Gallen points out that we need to step back and examine “the stereotype of the socially isolated video game nerd”. Online gaming is often a collective experience where multiple players work together and in the process, learn “skills in leadership, teamwork and problem-solving”.

32 Autumn / 2019

Gallen also stresses, though, that we need to stay involved in our children’s gaming, just as much as we need to take an interest in other aspects of their lives. This remains just as important as our kids navigate their way through their teenage years.

Psychologist Kimberly Young points out that games are aimed at young people and this makes them particularly vulnerable to addiction.

Thirty years ago, video games such as Pac-Man were relatively straightforward. Now, though, games have evolved into “living, self-contained, three-dimensional societies”. Players can become completely absorbed in the game and their perceptions of fantasy and reality can become blurred.

Another challenging aspect of today’s multiplayer games is that they never stop. It can become distressing when a player has to switch off because the game will continue without them.

Fortnite operates in rounds of approximately 20 minutes and Gallen suggests that as an alternative to saying, “five more minutes,” we might allow our kids to play two more rounds and then they must leave the game.

James Driver from Net Addiction NZ offers parents valuable advice about setting clear and manageable boundaries around online activity

for children. Driver’s website netaddiction.co.nz points out that parents must model the technology habits they want to see from their children, this can be a confronting challenge for some of us.

Above all, Driver states that we should approach our kids with an attitude of concern rather than criticism. If we show a genuine interest and really listen to them, involving them in the boundary setting process, and giving them time and space to make positive changes, they are more likely to try and stick to the rules and to come to us with their own worries.

Yes, Fortnite and other digital games can be addictive for our kids but if we remain involved, modelling positive behaviour with our own screens and helping our children to manage their online gaming, we are more likely to help them to have fun and avoid tech tantrums altogether.

Top Tips for Parents from netaddiction.co.nz +

Model appropriate use of technology

+

Be willing to talk and listen

+

Set realistic, firm boundaries

+

Be consistent

+

Provide and support alternatives to gaming

+

Be concerned but don’t criticise

technology

A parent’s guide Learn more about Instagram and how you can help keep young people safe as they share their life in pictures.

A

to Instagram

lthough young people are often digitally savvy, they’re still developing. They may need your guidance on appropriate online behaviours and how to navigate challenges. Netsafe’s research shows that when young people do reach out for help, parents are still a place that many turn to for support. As a parent, you don’t need to be an expert in technology, but being familiar with the technology that young people are using and the challenges that they may experience is a great start. Netsafe’s guide will give you that insight and prepare you to give your kids the guidance when they need it.

ACCOUNT PRIVACY

The first choice you can make with your child is whether their account is public or private. If your child’s account is private, they can approve the people who follow them and can remove followers at any time. Having a private account means your child’s content can’t be seen by anyone they haven’t approved. If your child is public, anyone can see what they post on Stories, Feed, or Live, and can follow them without needing approval. If your child already has a public account, they can switch to private at any time.

BLOCK UNWANTED INTERACTIONS

Your child can block accounts they don’t want to interact with. This will stop the blocked user from seeing and commenting on their posts, stories, and Live broadcasts.

When you block an account, that person is not notified.

If they change their mind, your child can unblock an account at any time.

FILTER COMMENTS

Instagram has controls that help you manage the content you see and determine when comments are offensive or intended to bully or harass. They’ve built filters that automatically remove objectional words and phrases and bullying comments.

MANAGE TIME

When it comes to spending time on Instagram, there is no right or wrong answer when determining how much scrolling is too much. There are a number of tools to help you and your family understand and take control of the time your child is spending on the app. You can work together to decide what the right balance is for your family.

MUTE NOTIFICATIONS

Your child can use the “Mute Push Notifications” feature to silence Instagram notifications for a period of time. When the set time is up, notifications will return to their normal settings without having to reset them.

These are just some of the tools you can share with your child that will give them more control over their digital identity and footprint. netsafe.org.nz/instagram-guide

Autumn / 2019

33

Active Kids

Telly puts kids in

obesity hotseat

According to new research, the simple act of switching on the television for some downtime could be making a bigger contribution to childhood obesity than we realise, writes KINETA BOOKER .

I

“An overweight child is more likely to grow up into an overweight adult, so the importance of tackling unhealthy behaviours in childhood is critical. They may also experience reduced wellbeing, social and self-esteem issues, along with pain and difficulties with movement and activity,” Dr Tsiros says.

t’s a tale as old as time, that the less active we are, the bigger we get. But this new research from the University of South Australia specifically investigated the impact of different sitting behaviours. It included watching television, playing video games, playing on the computer, sitting down to eat, or travelling in a car – and found that watching TV is more strongly associated with obesity in both boys and girls than any other type of sitting.

UniSA researcher, Dr Margarita Tsiros says that the study also found differences between the sitting behaviours of boys and girls.

While childhood obesity is a global issue, data from The New Zealand Health Survey 2017/2018 shows that 21 per cent of children (aged 2-12) are overweight, and around one in eight are obese.

“Boys who are sitting for longer than 30 minutes may also have higher body fat, so it’s important to monitor their screen and sitting time and ensure they take regular breaks,” she says.

The study assessed the sedentary behaviours of 234 children aged 10-13 years who were either a healthy weight (74 boys, 56 girls) or classified as obese (56 boys, 48 girls).

Dr Tsiros says that setting children up on a path towards a healthy weight is extremely important to their health now and in the future.

Internationally, childhood physical inactivity has reached crisis levels with many children not moving enough to maintain healthy growth and development. By understanding our children’s sedentary behaviours, especially those that are placing our kids at risk, will help us ensure they stay on a better path towards a healthier weight.

New Zealand has the third highest adult obesity rate in the OECD, and our rates are rising, with almost two-thirds of adults overweight, and one in three adult New Zealanders (over 15 years) classed as obese.

Time to turn off the telly, pop on your sneakers and head outdoors with them? Sure, it’s tough to walk away from a Netflix binge session but, remember, our little ones learn from every single thing we do.

It found that, excluding sleep, children spent more than 50 per cent of their day sitting, with television dominating their time for 2.5-3 hours each day.

34 Autumn / 2019

“Boys not only watched more TV than girls – an extra 37 minutes per day – but also spent significantly more time playing video games. Video gaming and computer use are popular past times, but our data suggests these activities may be linked with higher body fat in boys,” Dr Tsiros says.

As parents, we’re smart. We know all of this. We read all these stats, and constantly hear about new research but what can we do about it?

On Holiday

The 2 idiots

T

travel blog

Four reasons why it’s easier to travel with your kids than you might think

oo often, after hearing about our year-long, around-theworld trip with our son, we are asked how hard was it to travel with a toddler. Many parents tell us they would wait for their children to be older before hitting the road. We won’t lie, travelling with young kids is hard work but also extremely rewarding. We have fantastic memories, learned some valuable lessons, and we would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

1 Little kids are easily distracted and very adaptable.

Toddlers are learning from you every day, and they will go with the flow and follow your lead. (That definitely won’t happen when you have teens!) Want to eat at a nice restaurant? Your toddler may sleep through the meal in his stroller, as our son did. Stuck at the airport? No worries! It’s a big world and your child will love exploring the airport, watching planes and playing at the many airport indoor playgrounds.

2 There is relief for parents.

Technology helps, with apps available to keep children entertained.

We only give our son educational and informational videos or apps so he can learn something while we aren’t seeing attractions – we don’t feel guilty when we give him screen time. Apps are great for killing time on a plane, in a restaurant, or even from a stroller while you enjoy a walking tour.

3 Toddlers get perks at every turn.

No other time in a person’s life will you find deals like those that toddlers get when travelling. Free admission to attractions, free accommodation when sharing a room with parents, and even free flights when they sit on your lap. These perks are most common when you travel with infants 24 months and younger, but it is not hard to find discounts for up to six years. Other perks are, boarding planes first to get settled before the hordes of passengers board, and there are family lines at immigration, airports and even museums in an attempt to move you quickly and keep kids out of long lines.

4 Airbnb makes it so much easier.

When we travel, we prefer Airbnb because we can often get a two-bedroom for less than the price of a hotel room plus a kitchen to cook in, along with living space for spreading out. Airbnb truly feels like a home, not a hotel. With small tummies, snacks and meal sharing are enough to satisfy kids, which equates to more savings.

(We dread the teen years when he’ll eat more than we do!)

This really is the best time to travel with your kids. The more your kids travel at a young age, the more they are prepared for travel when they are older. Get out there!

AJ Ratani and Natasha Sandhir travelled around the world with their son Aarav. Visiting 31 countries and six continents as a family, they documented their year-long travel and trips on their family travel blog. Visit their website for more tips and also follow the couple on their Instagram account.

2idiotstravel.com

2idiotstravel

Autumn / 2019

35

On Holiday

M

Unforgettable Rotorua

aking great holiday memories for our family is important – most of us only get a limited time away from work so, of course, we want to make the most of it – but it’s not easy to please everyone and ensure your getaway doesn’t blow out the budget!

RELAX AND FORGET THE STRESS

In New Zealand we are spoilt for choice of beautiful destinations and one of the best for creating unforgettable memories for the whole family, is Rotorua. There is truly something for everyone on offer! Stunning Rotorua isn’t just hot pools and bubbling mud, you will also find action-packed adventures to excite kids and teens, beautiful scenery and delicious food to help parents chill out after a busy year, and cultural experiences that will entertain everyone in this unique destination.

For a whole day of easy family fun, wet or fine, Rainbow Springs Nature Park has everything you need. Get up close and personal with reptiles and meet brand new baby kiwi chicks! There are plenty of activities and playscapes hidden throughout the beautiful native surroundings to keep the kids educated and entertained while you enjoy a relaxing coffee from the Park’s cafe.

ADVENTURES TO REMEMBER!

Create a wonderful holiday experience that the kids will never forget with a Rotorua family escape!

Rotorua has more than just bungy jumping and white-water rafting to keep the adrenaline-seeking family members happy. The kids will love a mountain bike ride through Redwoods Forest where Disney’s Pete’s Dragon was filmed, or take a trip to OGO where they can launch themselves, wet or dry, downhill in a giant inflatable ball!

For families who prefer adventures with a bird’s eye-view, Rotorua Canopy Tours is the place to go. The zip line will have you whizzing through the treetops of an ancient native forest, or – if you’re feeling really brave – take on The Swoop challenge at Velocity Valley. You’ll go from zero to 130 kilometres an hour in one second as you ride a superhuman swing 40 metres off the ground!

36 Autumn / 2019

Rotorua is the perfect spot to shake off the stress and get into holiday mode. The city is dotted with parks, playgrounds, and numerous local walking tracks. The Lake Ōkareka boardwalk, a simple pushchair-friendly stroll, is a great place to start exploring.

If the weather is really bad, you can take a break at Motion Entertainment’s Refuel Café. This enormous entertainment mall houses a Chipmunks Playland for younger family members and a huge selection of other fun activities for older kids and teens, such as laser tag, ten pin bowling, and an Extreme Air trampoline park.

A PERFORMANCE TO TREASURE

If it’s nature and history your family enjoys, book a visit to Te Puia.

With the option of day time or night time tours, this incredible venue gives families a memorable experience! Explore the spectacular geothermal valley, visit a model Pre-European Māori Village, listen to ancient stories, have a hāngi feast, and watch skilled carvers and weavers at work. Te Puia is also the home of Pōhutu – the largest active geyser in the Southern Hemisphere!

With pristine lakes, spectacular waterfalls, bubbling geysers, ancient forests, and a huge selection of activities for all ages and interests, a trip to Rotorua is one holiday your family will cherish forever!

On Holiday

Experience

Kaikoura's Magic

Kaikoura

T encounter

Kaikoura is back following the 2016 earthquake, with lots to offer Encounter Kaikoura is the perfect place to start.

I

f you haven’t visited Kaikoura in a while, it is probably time to head up the road and see why it is regarded as such a special place and popular with so many visitors who travel here. Set in a stunning coastal environment flanked by the grandeur of a rugged mountain range, Kaikoura provides some very unique experiences.

From fresh seafood including locally caught crayfish, which Kaikoura is famous for, an array of marine mammals which you will not find in any other location in New Zealand as well as an incredible diversity of seabirds, Kaikoura is a unique and exciting place for a relaxing and refreshing break with the family.

Encounter Kaikoura is the perfect place to drop in for a coffee and some delicious freshly prepared food seven days a week. The outdoor courtyard has plenty of space for the children to enjoy and there is also room for the dog!

Open for breakfast and lunch and adjacent to the gift shop with an eclectic array of selected giftware and clothing brands, the beachfront location on the Esplanade has plenty of free parking too, making it an easy stopping place.

Tours to both the dolphins and the albatross also depart from this point. The Dolphin Encounter tour is very inspiring with either swimming or watching options to see the dusky dolphins found in pods all year round along the coast. The dusky dolphins are the most acrobatic of the dolphin species and seeing their energised displays of brilliance first hand should not be missed.

The Albatross Encounter tour is a shorter tour and is well suited to family groups who may want to take a quick look at the amazing array of majestic albatross found quite close to shore. At just two-and-a-half hours in duration this tour can easily fit into a morning or afternoon even if time is short.

he Kaikoura District contains some of the country's most breathtaking scenery with a mix of stunning coastline, dramatic peninsula, and some of the South Island's highest mountains. Kaikoura is the most northern district in the Canterbury region located on the east coast of the South Island. It is a two-and-a-half hour drive north from Christchurch and a two-hour drive south from Picton. A unique ocean environment provides a home to an astonishing variety of marine life.

Kaikoura is New Zealand's leading eco-tourism destination with marine-based operators, cultural experiences and historic attractions along with a mix of both relaxing and exhilarating land-based activities.

Kaikoura's coastal waters are home to an amazing array of marine mammals and birdlife. Perhaps the most famous residents that can be seen on virtually a daily basis are sperm whales who share this part of the Pacific Ocean with dusky dolphins, fur seals, and albatross – to name but a few. As well as these residents who can be viewed year-round, migrating species such as the rare Hector's dolphins, humpback whales, and orca are frequent visitors. You can experience this marine life from a boat, plane or helicopter. If you want to get even closer, you can swim with the dolphins in their ocean playground. Explore some of Kaikoura's excellent dive sites and surf breaks or take time to discover the coast by kayak.

Back on dry land, you will discover that Kaikoura offers a fantastic range of activities ranging from the energetic to the relaxing – including mountain biking, quad biking, horse-trekking, Māori cultural tour, and an art trail. Take a scenic flight by helicopter or plane for some of the best views in Aotearoa.

If you enjoy walking, you will find plenty of options ranging from short strolls to more adventurous tramping. The peninsula walkway is a stunning circular walk providing some of the best views of the ocean, mountains, and township.

Kia ora from Kaikoura and we hope to have you visit soon!

Kaikoura has a wide range of accommodation from budget to luxury – backpackers, motels, self-catering options, B&Bs, lodges and campgrounds. Accommodation is located throughout the district – centre of town, out in the countryside or right beside the sea.

encounterkaikoura.co.nz

kaikoura.co.nz

Dolphin

Encounter

Experience the grace and beauty of Kaikoura’s Dusky Dolphins, the most acrobatic of all dolphin species.

Swim and spectator tour options available.

Albatross Encounter

Don’t miss these world-class tours... advance bookings essential.

Visit our Café, Gift Shop & Gallery Kaikoura is the best place in the world to see multiple species of albatross. Enjoy close up views of these majestic wanderers of the Southern Ocean just minutes from shore.

96 Esplanade, Kaikoura, New Zealand Phone (03) 319 6777 Freephone 0800 733 365

www.encounterkaikoura.co.nz Autumn / 2019

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PA H eG al E tHhE & A DW Ee Rl l b e i n g

Me time I

hurt today. In a good way, I promise. You see, it’s Tuesday, and I take a ballet class every Monday night. I have danced since I was five. It is the one constant love in my life that is truly good for me (as opposed to, say, chocolate or musicians). So, on Monday nights I work hard, and on Tuesday I hurt. I also feel energised, positive, and strong – a feeling that lasts several days. I’m less snappy at my children and more playful with them.

In the relentless hustle and bustle of caring for my two children (aged one and four), as well as the cleaning, tidying, laundry, and cooking (of which I do the lion’s share), playcentre committee responsibilities, the life admin of dentists, playdates, birthdays and so on, plus eking out time to write for a living, this one-and-a-half hour class a week is my sole selfish me time.

It’s my time to be with other adults, without children, and focus on my own needs and abilities. Even on days the baby had me awake all night and I can barely summon the energy to tie my hair up, I come back from class buzzing.

Studies reveal I am not alone in my opinion. A recent study showed that mothers with less time for self-care are more stressed. We all benefit from time alone. It helps us unwind, it aids in problem-solving, it increases productivity, and improves our relationships with others.

Despite this, there is a cultural stigma that mums should want to spend all their time with their children. Dads don’t get the same flack for their weekends away, basketball league, or game nights that mums get for wanting just a minute in the day to pee alone. I don’t know why in the

38 Autumn / 2019

21st-century it is still news that mums need a break sometimes.

Take your 10 minutes a day, or two hours a week (or both if you can swing it) and make that time all about looking after you. Yoga in the morning, a face mask before bed, a child-free trip to the coffee shop. It doesn’t have to cost much. Can your partner, friend or relative watch the kids while you head out? Can you trade babysitting time with another parent? Can you book half the day off work to pamper yourself or see a movie or sit at the beach and eat chips? Whatever you do, put it in the calendar. Once it is written down it is harder to talk yourself out of.

Mum of two, FIONA S GILES, believes self-care is essential for any parent.

The science behind weight management

D

id you know it’s normal to crave comfort food? Did you also know it’s incredibly difficult to find a balance between eating healthy and exercise?

These are the first lessons you’ll learn at The Girouard Centre, a state-of-the-art weight management and treatment centre in Kaiapoi, founded by Dr Michael and Dr Jonie Girouard.

So have a think. What boosts you up? What is going to help you feel recharged and ready to take on life again? You could take 10 minutes to paint your nails, 40 minutes to go for a walk, three hours to have dinner with a friend, a whole evening to binge on Netflix, or book an all-day pampering package at a spa.

The Girouard’s teach you that loving a meal is simply part of being human. Clients at the Girouard Centre are guaranteed to be in safe hands, as you learn some of the science behind weight management, and even some of the tricks your brain can play on you when you’re hungry.

Whatever you do, you deserve to take time for yourself to reflect on the awesome mother that you are and return to your family happier, calmer, and even more awesome.

At the Girouard Centre, they recognise the uniqueness of the human body and how a diet may work for one person, but not another. They sit down with you to work out an optimal treatment plan, so unique to you it could be one of a million combinations.

Fiona S Giles is a writer based in rural Canterbury.

She lives with her husband and two children on an 11 metre house-bus. She is a playcentre mum, a book hoarder, and a Pinterest fiend. When she should be writing you will find Fiona either cleaning, baking or watching Netflix. But never running. fionasgileswriting.com

Dr Michael and Dr Jonie cut through the noise of the thousands of trendy, fad diets to formulate an effective diet that will work for you. girouardcentre.co.nz

Facial Beauty and A Smile to share – “The Non-Surgical, Non-Extraction way” Before

“we want to bring balance and facial symmetry to your child’s smile and face —helping them look and feel their best.”- Says Dr. Sachdev of Smilesville Dental

After

Early intervention Dentofacial Orthopaedics is based on treatment at a younger age. It works by guiding and developing the growth of the muscles, teeth and bone into the ideal shape and their relationship with each other in a “non-surgical, non-extraction” way, creating stable bites using postural changes. This treatment focuses on creating room to accommodate all the adult teeth, alleviate crowding and produce a more balanced facial profile.

Guiding the growth of the jaws helps address and prevent overcrowded teeth and poor biting relationships between the upper and lower jaws.

Normally this treatment can be done without the need for jaw surgery and without the need for tooth extractions. Dentifacial Orthopedic treatment not only creates a full profile and a wide natural smile, a more open airway (addressing breathing problems such as asthma, mouth breathing, snoring and sleep apnoea) but also promotes the healthy positioning of the jaw joints (TMJs).

Face & smile improvement of a Smilesville patient

Before

After

Early intervention allows to focus on the growth, development and wellbeing of our younger patients along with straightening teeth before permanent teeth are set thereby bringing balance and facial symmetry. By using early orthodontics our goal is to maintain or provide space for permanent teeth so they grow in straight. This minimises the need for more extensive and painful intervention later. “we believe 7-8 years of age is the best time

to assess if your child would benefit from this treatment.”

Face & smile improvement of a Smilesville patient

Smilesville offers the revolutionary Invisalign teeth straightening option of realigning teeth without the use of metal is a major advancement in the field of Orthodontics due to its Invisible nature. An option available from PreTeens up to adults of any age. “we believe in minimally invasive

What Smilesville patients are saying Ruth: “Very happy with the good care taken of my children during their

dentistry and invisalign is the least invasive procedure to straightening teeth and getting an amazing smile.” says Dr.

orthodontics. Some nervous moments as the treatment involved an ‘ugly duckling’ phase but as a result they have fabulous smiles and we are all very pleased. Rusheka is very patient with people and accommodating and I recommend coming when your children are as young as 8 to be able to take advantage of the most options for their treatment.”

Sachdev of Smilesville Dental

It’s major advantage is no wires to trap food, no manipulating toothbrushes around fixed wires, it helps the wearer to maintain a high level of dental hygiene.

Smilesville Dental was the first Invisalign platinum provider from Christchurch (and the whole of the South Island) having more than 10 years Invisalign experience.

Grant: “Competent , professional care with a laugh and a smile. Ruchika looks after myself and two of my children. She is great with the kids, especially my youngest who can be a testing patient.”

Smilesville Dental exclusively offers expert advise and treatments in advanced cosmetic dentistry, Smile design and full mouth reconstruction, Implants, Invisalign and Orthodontics to give you an amazing Smile not only to Smile … but to smile with Confidence.

Chelsea: “My dearest Ruchika and Sam, I have so much to be thankful for.

Thank you for the beautiful smile you created for me. I now can freely smile without any resistance in photos and my self esteem has risen tremendously.

I always had suffered from tension headaches and thought it had been due to stress or working in front of a screen and since I had previously had orthodontics I never considered that it may be an issue with my bite. I had trusted the generic “one size fits all” orthodontics slapped on me as a kid and thought to accept the smile I had. Ruchika comprehensively explained to me in terms which weren’t intimidating or confusing and how we could free myself of those headaches and also gain a “hollywood smile”. I’ve never met such a hardworking and committed health professional who treats every patient as though they are her first. The Invisalign system is magical! - no more wires, hiding in toilets, picking food from braces, no bleeding gums in fact no one knew I had them! After my orthodontics, Ruchika worked through the night (literally!!) to perfect my composite veneers all in time for my birthday... (you find me a dental franchise who would do that...)

I love you guys xx.”

talk to the friendly staff at smilesville Dental to transform your child’s face, jaws, teeth and life!

Call 0800 inVisiBle (0800 468 474) Get a Free Consultation now and see how Smilesville Dental can transform your child’s face, jaws, teeth and potentially lifestyle going forward!

Call 0800 INVISIBLE (0800 468 474)

Leaders in Appearance dentistry • Orthodontics for adults, youth and children • Invisalign – The Invisible way to straighten teeth - First Ever Platinum Provider of the South Island treating with Invisalign for 10 years + • Free dental treatment for 13-18yr olds (OHSA conditions apply)

• Extreme Dental makeovers • Whitening • General Dental and complete Hygiene services • Implants • A specialist referral might be required in some cases • Best price Guaranteed

Call now 0800 inVisiBle (0800 468 474)

Shop 201, Westfield Riccarton Mall 131 Riccarton Road, Riccarton, Christchurch

Located above ASB bank (best access via Lift in Farmers store)

0800 INVISIBLE (0800 468 474)

smilesville.co.nz Autumn / 2019

39

FOOD

TIP:

Make for an after-school snack or lunch box filler.

Coconut banana bread

mini muffins Made by

INGREDIENTS 1 cup cornmeal flour

Dairy free, gluten free, nut free, and vegetarian. For an egg free recipe, replace with egg substitute.

2 ripe bananas 1 egg ¼ cup desiccated coconut (optional)

This recipe is from the first of the Guilt Free seasonal cookbooks – autumn’s Satisfy. Each of this year’s four books, to compliment a different season, are packed with guilt-free breakfast, lunch, and dinner recipes that will keep you satisfied for longer.

WINNIE BAGOES

The Best Gourmet Kiwi Pizza

Winnies Ferrymead is your local family friendly restaurant. The perfect place for family dinners, birthday parties and functions.

With a great kids’ menu, amazing pizzas, bar and friendly staff, it is the place to bring your family.

40 Autumn / 2019

Catherine Sissons,

2 Waterman Place Ferrymead

03 376 4900 winniebagoes.co.nz

1 tbsp maple syrup 1/2 tsp cinnamon Pinch of rock salt 1 tsp vanilla ½ tsp baking soda ½ tsp baking powder ½ cup coconut milk 1 tbsp canola oil

Guilt Free Nutritionist METHOD

1. Heat oven to 180oC and spray muffin tin with oil non-stick spray.

2. Mash the bananas, add coconut milk, oil, syrup, and vanilla.

3. Beat the egg and add to the wet ingredients. Mix well.

4. Sift in the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, salt, and coconut.

5. Spoon the mixture into the mini muffin tin until each space is full.

6. Bake for 10-15 minutes until cooked right through.

FOOD

Credit: Laura Sissons, Cake Creator. Wet Your Appetite - The Secret to Eating Guilt Free book cover

You can t quit sugar The combination of having Easter and the school holidays is one big challenge to resist sugar.

As a parent and caregiver, it can be challenging enough getting healthy food into children let alone trying to keep them (and ourselves) away from sugar. Catherine Sissons explains.

E

ating food that is sweet is often followed by guilt. This is why after becoming a mother I became The Guilt Free Nutritionist.

So, I could show people how balance is the new moderation.

The truth is sugar in unavoidable. In fact, the human body fuels itself on sugar in the form of glucose.

Sweet is the brain’s safety switch and when the body is in fight or flight (such as when we feel tired from parenting) our operating systems will choose ‘sweet’ every time.

It starts when we first taste breast milk from our own mother. Even if we were not breastfed, the human body associates sweet with nurture. So, it is no surprise when the going gets tough in life we tend to gravitate toward sweet food.

Caffeine intake, relationship tension, financial pressure, organising a family, working, and parenting, are also factors that cause our central nervous system to run on fight or flight.

The best way to avoid sugar is to find satisfaction.

Satisfaction physically, nutritionally and emotionally. This is why I created the ‘Science of Satisfaction’ a way of balancing health and wellbeing that was published in my first book Wet Your Appetite – The Secret to Eating Guilt Free.

I had been a nutritionist in the health and wellness industry for nine years and I also ran my own consultancy business for five years when I unexpectedly became a mother.

I was thrown in the deep end of learning what balance meant emotionally, physically, as well as nutritionally. It gave me the first-hand experience of applying the science of satisfaction under pressure.

Essentially, I designed the ‘Science of Satisfaction’, SOS for short, to keep tummies satisfied for longer.

Food is not only our fuel, but it can also be an emotional fall back when we are parenting.

When we are feeling tired at the end of the day a cup of tea gives us five minutes of peace, a piece of chocolate can feel like a day off and eating a meal we didn’t have to cook ourselves is like hitting the jackpot!

When you feel satisfied you are less likely to feel like sugar because your blood sugars are in balance. That is how the science of satisfaction works.

I decided to simplify it even further and create over 200 seasonal recipes that you can cook at your place for all ages. They are adjustable for fussy eaters and they can cater for gluten free and dairy free allergies. Guilt-free recipes are accessed through The Guilt Free Food School, an online membership portal, and the Guilt-Free seasonal cookbooks.

At the Guilt Free Food School, we’re at the end of your phone, laptop, or tablet to answer any foodie questions in the private community. It is a cost-effective way to access qualified advice from an expert with over 14 years of consulting experience in the health and wellness industry.

When you feel satisfied you have more energy, stay healthy and also keep the body you desire. There is no need to follow a diet or cut out food groups. It helps you remove the guilt around enjoying the foods you love and sets a healthy example without dieting for the younger generation.

Catherine started NOVA Nutrition in 2009, and published her first book, Wet Your Appetite – the secret to eating guilt free, in 2017. This year, Catherine has unveiled The Guilt Free Food School, along with seasonal guilt-free cookbooks, to help families feel satisfied for longer and simplify healthy eating. theguiltfreenutritionist.com

Autumn / 2019

41

Fun Zone

KIDS’ time

ACTIVITIES AND colouring-in FOR ALL AGES IN CINEMAS APRIL 11 #WonderPark

Chimpanzombie spot the difference

Can you spot 8 differences between these pictures?

Win!

10 x Wonder Park Prize Packs Includes: A drink bottle, lunch box, sketch pad,

magic pen, fridge magnet and a family in-season pass to see Wonder Park. Ts and Cs apply.

To enter, visit familytimes.co.nz

Cooper is lost! Help Gus through the maze to find him!

42 Autumn / 2019

© 2018 Paramount Animation

Gus and Cooper's Amazing Maze

giveaways

Robo Alive Dino This dino really is alive! Zuru's new Robo Alive Attacking T-Rex stomps and walks with real dinosaur movement. It even bites and roars!

5

3

Little Kiwi - The Cool Mama

Little Kiwi thinks parents have an easy time of it until, in an emergency egg-sitting situation, he gets to find out the reality for himself.

3

Stuck on You Easter pack

Make Easter egg-stra special with this amazing personalised Easter pack from Stuck on You. Just add chocolate from the Easter Bunny and voilà!

Family passes to Orana Wildlife Park Visit New Zealand’s only open-range zoo.

2

The Collective Suckies

This pack contains 12 Collective suckies and a fun insulated lunch bag from The Collected.

5

Be in to

Win!

5

Peppa Pig pack

Peppa Pig: Festival of Fun is in cinemas from May 2. Win this awesome pack of a double pass to the movie and two Peppa Pig headbands!

Simply head to our website: familytimes.co.nz

The Rubbish Whisperer reusable cups

Waste-reducing company, The Rubbish Whisperer, has launched the collapsible, reusable coffee cup.

The Stojo Cup is rip-proof and fits easily into your bag.

2

2

Cotton Candy Cuties Cotton Candy Cuties feel and look just like real cotton candyfloss and are available in four sweet scents.

5 Surprise!

What's inside your 5 Surprise?

Pick your colour preference and peel back the layers to reveal five fun toys. Over 150 to collect in each range! (Each winner receives TWO)

What surprise is hiding under every Rainbocorn Sequin Surprise Heart?

Zuru Smashers Zuru, where the smashing never ends!

What's inside the smashball? Just THROW, SMASH, SURPRISE to find what’s inside. This awesome prize includes playset and the eight-pack of Smashers.

6

Peppa Pig Secret Surprise

Unbox Peppa Pig party fun with Peppa's Secret Surprise. Unwrap the bright coloured box, to find secret drawers with SIX surprises inside!

(Each winner gets TWO).

Autumn / 2019

Terms and conditions can be found at familytimes.co.nz

Rainbocorn

43

CHRISTCHURCH M A RK ETPL ACE www.livingsprings.co.nz

Rangiora New Life School A Christian Integrated Area School for New Entrants to Year 13 www.rnls.school.nz

Congratulations to our RNLS Head students for 2019!

Enrolment applications for 2020 onwards are welcome. admin@rnls.school.nz Stephen Walters, Principal

Stimulation Challenge Early Learning Skills Language Development Co-ordination Sight & Hearing

HOURS Tues & Thur 10am - 4.30pm Sat 10am - 1pm 109 Huxley Street Christchurch Tel: 03 332 0733

specialneedslibrary.co.nz

LIVING SPRINGS APRIL HOLIDAY CAMP Monday 15 - Thursday 18 OSCAR ACCREDITED

FREE HOUR S

Canterbury

Speakeasy

is a stuttering support group We meet at the University Speech Disorders Unit every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month at 7.30pm

Barry Hay For More InForMatIon P: 03 338 8628 E: bazzah1918@xtra.co.nz

Birthday Tram

THE RELUCTANT DRAGON Adapted and Directed

by Nickie Wellbourn

Award Winning Before & After School Care & Holiday Programmes AVAILABLE NOW! OSCAR and MSD Approved Family Discounts Available

Early Childhood Educational Centre

Ph 385 6319 CALL AND SEE US TO ENROL

45 Randall St, Richmond (Close to The Palms)

PAINT ‘N’ SIP STUDIO® paint. sip. party. socialise.

Dive into your creativity with after school art classes, kid-friendly painting sessions, or book the whole Studio for a birthday party or other special event for kids, adults or both!

13th - 28th April 2019

A tram just for you for your party.

Then have fun exploring the rest of the Park.

Contact us now

03 384 1970

www.busybumbles.co.nz

info@ferrymead.org.nz

(03) 347 3031 | manager@busybumbles.co.nz

50 Ferrymead Park Drive | ferrymead.org.nz

Cushion Theatre at the Malthouse Bookings at www.malthouse.co.nz

paintnsip.co.nz

Mike Haircare

Families Achieving Cooperation Together

- this can sometimes be challenging. We offer support & ideas to help you try new strategies.

Christchurch has Parent Support Groups for parents dealing with pre-teens, teenagers and young persons' unacceptable challenging behaviours.

Come along to find support, new ideas and tools to make positive changes.

Stop negative behaviours before they become crisis.

gmhair.nz 44 Autumn / 2019

that stimulate ACCEPT • Activities • Exciting & LEARN • educational Highly professional teachers PLAY • Assists individual development Childcare subsidy HAPPY • may be available 20 ECE hours ACHIEVE • available

0800 46-42-27 300 Cashel Street, Christchurch

CHRISTCHURCH M A RK ETPL ACE

Term 2 starts 29 April Free trial class!

Canvas Bag Drama School Merivale • South Brighton • Halswell info@canvasbag.nz • 021 222 7273 • canvasbag.nz

ChristChurCh’s Premier AgenCy & modelling sChool Est.

1993

Comprehensive, medically-supervised, non-surgical, weight management and wellness treatment for adults.

03 327 2273

Kids/Tween/Teen - Confidence & Deportment Workshops April School Holidays

Shop 6, 42 Silverstream Blvd, Kaiapoi Just 15 minutes from Christchurch Airport off SH1 with convenient parking.

Self Esteem | Confidence | Deportment Motivational & Inspirational Tips Presentation Skills | Makeup | Skincare Photo Shoot | Etiquette + MUCH more! taking bookings noW!

03 379 9011 | info@portfoliomodels.co.nz

WaiSwim is an award winning quality swim school. Lessons are available for children aged 6 months through to adults.

Dudley Park Aquatic Centre 47 Church Street, Rangiora Kaiapoi Aquatic Centre 9 Cass Street, Kaiapoi

0800 WaiSwim

find your groove in a fun supportive environment

C l a s s e s ava i l a b l e at :

Papanui | Sumner/Ferrymead | Halswell/Selwyn

portfoliomodels.co.nz

New Zealand

An invitation to all girls aged 5 to 18 Come join the fun and friendship at any of our nationwide locations

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contemporary, ballet, jazz, hip hop, preschool Preschool through to advanced Annual recitals and performances Optional exams and medal tests Enhance your confidence and co-ordination Make life long friendships anna lee Registered teacher (RAD, NZAMD, JDNZ)

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Autumn / 2019

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In the spotlight

10 with Suzy Cato questions

Children’s television icon of the 1990s, Suzy Cato, is back to entertain a whole new generation of young people with The Totally Awesome Kiwi Kids Album, as well as their parents with the Double Strength Mama Power podcast series. KINETA BOOKER caught up with the Kiwi legend.

How different are you now from before you had children?

I’m far more confident; far more content; far more responsible and proactive and motivated. I am also older. Okay, that was going to happen whether I had children or not, but I’ve had to “grow up” and make decisions much bigger than “what colour the playdough will be today”. I’m a much better person for having had children. Beyond learning what it is to feel so much love, joy, and frustration about one human being, I have learnt so much about myself and about my relationships; about patience and multi-tasking; about ballet buns and soccer side-lines. Also, about Lego, Loom bands and Instagram – yes, I have a teen!

What sort of mum are you?

I’ve been a hands-on mum since the moment I realised that there was a love-bug in my belly.

I sang, chatted, giggled and jiggled, then once they arrived, I rocked, read, danced and chatted some more.

School drop-offs and pick-ups have always been a big part of my day, so too has being a stay-atschool-full-time-working-mum; which basically meant when I could lend a hand as parent help, I did and in the early years that was a lot more often. Now I’m the “always there when you need me” mum, with one at high school and one at intermediate. It’s a natural progression as they strengthen their own independence, although, they need you just as much emotionally as they needed you physically when they were babies/ toddlers. The snuggles and bedtime story sessions have become cosy conversations about the day, but they are still treasured times.

When you’re not listening to NZ children’s music, what’s your choice of tunes?

My playlist is an eclectic mix. My family was very musical. I had a fabulous stint as one of NZ’s youngest female radio announcers, in the late 80s, so I experienced everything from the Doors and Led Zeppelin to John Denver and Hall and Oates.

Now I enjoy a healthy diet of Broadway musicals, pop, alternative rock, dubstep and jazz – jazz/

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funk, courtesy of my kids and my husband's thirst for good music. (Yes, the Doors and Led Zeppelin still get a spin on the turntable from time to time.)

Top parenting tip?

Be gentle on yourself and get sleep, when you can, especially with a new-born – the housework and chores will wait (unfortunately). You’re not going to get it right all the time – we are human, just like our kids. Tomorrow is a brand-new day, filled with wonder and joy and we (our beautiful families) are a part of it all.

Favourite family tradition?

When the babes arrived, we would often make the pilgrimage across the ditch to see “Grandma and Popa”. It was simply a case of packing up and going and the kids loved the surprise. We’ve continued that surprise factor. It becomes a little more difficult with each year, as the kids become more aware, but we’ve managed to bundle them off on camping trips within NZ and on plane trips overseas without them having an inkling – the looks of surprise and squeals of sheer joy have been worth the days of planning and the latenight packing.

What social media advice do you have for parents?

Personally, we’d chosen not to share our babes’ photos on social media, until just recently. We did this is to give them a chance to grow up in private – the way we did when we were kids. We could make our mistakes or do funny things without the world viewing it. We also limited the amount of screen time; life is for living – not for watching via a screen. Now that we have teen apps that provide an opportunity to communicate, give good consideration to what other options those apps provide – access to videos, memes, images, and conversation threads can broaden your child’s horizons beyond their years.

The thing you enjoy most in everyday life with your family?

The time spent talking, playing and laughing.

Everyone’s lives are so busy, we rush to get out

the door to school; to get home in time for activities; to eat in time for homework/ shower/bed.

I’ve been consumed by work from time-to-time (Dancing with the Stars was a great example of this, last year) so when the opportunity is there, I relish the time I spend with them.

Board games are a staple in our family – the game of Trouble is our go to.

Biggest thing you hope the audience of your parenting podcast will learn?

That there’s no right or wrong way to parent.

We’re all muddling along as best we can, with the knowledge, experience, and energy we have at the time. Those gorgeous babes don’t come with manuals, and that’s okay, it gives us permission to use our intuition.

Each stage is just that – a stage. Some will be more challenging than others, especially as outside influences (our work, adult relationships, finances) challenge us at the same time. But everything is going to be wonderfully, amazingly and happily… okay!

How do you juggle being a working mum?

Sometimes badly. The juggle is real. My work is so varied and takes me to parks, libraries, schools, preschools, and boardrooms, all over NZ. Also, as chair of Kiwi Kids Music and being involved with a number of charitable organisations and incredible projects, like the two songs I released last year, I’ve always tended to work while the kids are at school and then after they’ve gone to bed. The balance is wrong. I’ve missed adding in some “me time”. I eventually realised that an Epsom Salt bath or a spell in a bean chair with a good book was even more beneficial than working until 1am. It was much more beneficial for my family too.

Love needs to start at home. But, even more importantly, it needs to start with you. suzy.co.nz

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BestStart provides a bounty of opportunities to spark your child’s imagination through play.

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