Family Times Winter 2023

Welcome

In our family, we have three strongminded, busy, creative, at times challenging children. Naturally, what’s happening in our family life, and in the lives of the other mums in the Family Times team, influences the kind of stories we run each issue.

I’m currently thinking a lot about my family’s health and how to get through the winter. I don’t think I’m alone in worrying about sickness. So, in this issue, we speak with Te Tahi Youth’s Clinical

Team Leader, Emma Maguire, about surviving ‘flu season’.

Earlier in the year I was seeking support with managing high emotions and challenging behaviour. I spoke with clinical psychologist Louise Porter and have put together a story on the ‘battle for control’ we can get into with our kids. I hope this article is helpful for many of you, too. Meanwhile, our story on choosing the right secondary school came about through conversations with our eldest daughter –she’s currently in Year 6 and wondering about school beyond primary. Until now, my husband and I hadn’t given it much thought. But, the years really fly, and it’s time we started considering our options.

In any week, in any moment, we all have our own priorities and concerns as parents – from breastfeeding, to bullying, to birthday parties. There really is always something to think and worry about when you’re a parent.

Somewhere in the middle of all that, we also need to think about our self-care. In this issue Miriam McCaleb shares some

simple things we can do to avoid parental burnout. Like her ‘rectangle of sanity’ – I can definitely relate!

I have thoroughly enjoyed putting this issue together. It is a real pleasure talking with experts across various fields. I also love working alongside our wonderful clients, all of whom have so much passion for supporting and providing opportunities for young people. From the team at Family Times, we want to thank you for your support.

As Miriama Kamo reminds us, Matariki is a time to “stop, rest, eat, connect and acknowledge”. It is also a time for new beginnings. From all the team at Family Times, we want to wish you a safe and happy Matariki, and many positive new beginnings for you all.

Kate Barber / Editor kate@familytimes.co.nz @familytimesnewzealand

Will Garbutt’s family was the winner of our holiday snap comp. Here they are on holiday in Nelson.

PUBLISHER

Filly Farm Publishing

Sonia Speedy sonia@familytimes.co.nz 021 024 58141

EDITOR

Kate Barber kate@familytimes.co.nz

SUBEDITOR

Fiona Robinson fiona@familytimes.co.nz

ADVERTISING

Sonia Speedy sonia@familytimes.co.nz 021 024 58141

DESIGN & PRODUCTION

Rachel Lowrey rachel@familytimes.co.nz

familytimes.co.nz is delighted to be a long-term sponsor of The Canterbury Special Children’s Christmas Party, an event that has been giving underprivileged and special needs children the opportunity to celebrate Christmas.

G ENERAL E NQUIRIES hello@familytimes.co.nz

CONTRIBUTORS

Annie Mansfield

Claudia Babirat

Claudia Gunn

Crissi Blair

Emma Maguire

Kat Quin

Kineta Booker

Louise Oskam

Louise Porter

Maxine Laws

Miriam McCaleb

Miriama Kamo

Sid Sahrawat

PRINT

Blueprint, Christchurch

Family Times is published quarterly and is a registered trademark. While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in this publication, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors, omissions or contrary interpretations of the subject matter contained herein. The reader of this publication assumes all responsibility for the use of these materials and information. Any perceived slight of any person or organisation is completely unintentional. Family Times asserts copyright on all material published within Family Times and none of it shall be reproduced, wholly or in part, without the prior written consent of this publisher. Family Times reserves the right to edit or abridge all letters or other material, whether solicited or otherwise, prior to publication.

@familytimesnewzealand

ISSN NO. 2815-9802 (Print)

ISSN NO. 2815-9810 (Online)

Canterbury Museum at CoCA 66 Gloucester Street

Exhibition opens 14 July

Free

Orthodontic treatment is performed by Grahame Dutton who is a General Dentist with a special interest in Orthodontics.

A GIFT THAT LASTS A LIFETIME

I can’t count the number of times in my career I’ve heard from my adult patients: “If only I’d had braces as a teenager”. Either orthodontics wasn’t available to them, or they and/or their parents, decided against braces, or the cost was prohibitive. But as they have gone into adulthood they have regretted that decision and had to live with consequences to their oral health, their chewing function and the appearance of their smile.

The aim of orthodontics is to produce a healthy, functional bite, creating greater resistance to disease and improving

03 348 5488

info@duxtondental.co.nz

22 Bartlett Street, Riccarton Christchurch 8011

personal appearance. Most orthodontics is performed during the adolescent growth spurt, however, there are some conditions that may be best treated when the child is as young as nine years old.

duxtondental.co.nz

BOOKS BEATS

Books, books, wonderful books! CRISSI BLAIR picks out the best reads for different ages and interests.

JUNGLE JAZZ

Jo Van Dam

Illustrated by Deborah Hinde

PictureBook Publishing

$22

Snake longs to join The Dung Beatles band but doesn’t have an instrument, so Snake plays a trick that stops everyone from enjoying their music until Cougar points out Snake’s natural talent. Zany, colour-packed illustrations bring the jazzy jungle to life. I can almost hear the music!

Suitable for ages 3-8

THE TWIN STARS OF MATARIKI: WAITĪ AND WAITĀ

Miriama Kamo

Illustrated by Zak Waipara

Scholastic $21.99

Matariki star Waitī is looking dim, so Te Rerehua and Sam help Grandma and Poua plant around the lake to keep it healthy, but patupaiarehe pull the plants up until Grandma comes up with a clever trick using the red agate stones to scare the fairies away!

Suitable for ages 4-10

PIPI AND POU AND THE RAGING MOUNTAIN

Tim Tipene

Illustrated by Isobel Te Aho-White

OneTree House $22

Pipi and Pou go on an adventure with Nana – they’re an awesome trio, each with their own special powers. But can they find a way to stop a mighty mountain from destroying the forest? Awesome adventure with young Kiwi superheroes!

Suitable for ages 6-10

BELOW

David Hill

Puffin $22

Liam’s dad is an engineer for a big tunnelling project. Imogen is an environmentalist who thinks the tunnel is bad news. Liam invites Imogen to see what the tunnel is really like, but it collapses, trapping them inside with limited emergency supplies. Will someone find them? How will they escape? An exciting eco-thriller to keep you on the edge of your seat.

Suitable for ages 9-13

ANY BODY

Katharina von der Gathen & Anke Kuhle Gecko Press $16.50

“A comic compendium of important facts and figures about our bodies.” Full of humour, facts, and naked bodies, so kids can learn how our bodies work and change, inside and out, over the years. Build body positivity. Quirky drawings keep it light but factual.

Suitable for ages 8-14

THE EARTH BOOK

Hannah Alice Nosy Crow $25

Robust pages with transparent panels reveal layers, from Earth’s place in the solar system, the atmosphere, weather systems and water, to the centre of the Earth. Simple text informs and entertains to grow curiosity about our planet.

Suitable for ages 5-8

We have ONE copy of Below, Pipi and Pou and the Raging Mountain, The Twin Stars of Matariki: Wait ī and Waitā and Any Body to give away. Follow us for your chance to win @familytimesnewzealand.

CLAUDIA

shares fresh new tunes for children.

HANA THE GLOWWORM (Musical)

Chris Sanders and Auckland Philharmonic Orchestra apo.co.nz/hana

Hana is drawn out of her cave by the sounds of a faraway orchestra and embarks to find the music.

1 2 3 DIS-GO! ( Album)

Em and Me artists.landr. com/055120535673

Mum and daughter

duo Em and Me guarantee to get the family up and moving with these fun, upbeat dance tracks.

SNUGGLE BUNNY (Album)

Marshmellow

distrokid.com/ hyperfollow/ marshmellow/ snuggle-bunny

Marshmellow's sophomore kids' album features nine fun and funky new tracks and delightful accompanying animated videos.

PODS

podcasts.

BRAINS ON! SCIENCE PODCAST FOR KIDS

brainson.org

Li sten and Learn! Every week a different kid co-host joins Molly Bloom to investigate answers to fascinating questions about our world sent in by listeners.

THE GOOBER HOUR

thegooberhour.com

Host Trevor Walls presents a weekly dose of wackiness in this musical, fantastical and often nonsensical radio show and podcast series full of music, mayhem and magic.

GUNN from Kiwi Kids Music

CLAUDIA GUNN shares her top picks for

Tohu Whenua

heritage places your kids will love

Want to give your kids a uniquely Kiwi experience?

TOHU WHENUA makes it easy to find heritage adventures that are fun for the whole whānau.

By Claudia Babirat

Tohu Whenua are Aotearoa New Zealand’s most treasured heritage landmarks. They’re easy-to-access places where your kids can get handson, be history detectives, learn from local guides and explore at their own pace as your whole whānau discovers our nation’s most important stories. This government programme makes it easy for all New Zealanders to connect with their tūrangawaewae. It encourages kids to develop their identity and self-esteem by learning about history at the places where it happened.

Each Tohu Whenua site is unique. Visit charming old towns where you can pan for gold or look for pounamu at the beach, explore a pā site, make damper at a historic farm, or climb the turret of a real castle! Note that at several locations where fees apply, children under 18 go free when accompanied by a parent or caregiver.

There are currently 26 Tohu Whenua heritage landmarks in three regions for your whānau to discover. Here are four of our favourites.

ARROWTOWN

Explore the rustic miners’ huts at the Chinese Settlement, cycle along the river that once started a gold rush, try on the manacles at the 1876 stone gaol in Cardigan Street (key available at Lakes District Museum) and treat the whole whānau at the old-fashioned sweets store along the authentic Wild West style main street.

TOTARA ESTATE, ŌAMARU

Discover one of Otago’s earliest farms, the birthplace of our billion-dollar meat export industry. Kids can easily imagine what farm life was like during Victorian times as they explore the interactive exhibits in the stone-built stables, granary, cookhouse and more. Feed the sheep, explore the heritage vege garden, enjoy freshly baked scones and play old-fashioned games. Open September to May.

WAIUTA

Visit the West Coast’s best mining ghost town, located near historic Reefton. Peep into the barbershop, explore the Blackwater mine buildings, play on the old rugby field, find the empty Olympic-size swimming pool, or do one of several walks. There’s plenty of green space for kids to play. Ideal for picnics, or plan an overnight stay by booking a bunk at Waiuta Lodge through the Department of Conservation.

POMPALLIER MISSION AND PRINTERY, RUSSELL

If you’re headed to Northland, don’t miss Aotearoa’s oldest surviving pioneer printery and tannery. Their fantastic guides encourage kids to get hands-on as they walk you through each step of the 19th-century printing and book-binding process, from setting print to tanning leather hides. The beach is right across the road.

Tohu Whenua is a partnership between Manatū Ta onga Ministry for Culture & Heritage, Department of Conservation Te Papa Atawhai and Heritage New Zealand Pouhere Taonga. To find out more, visit tohuwhenua.nz, follow us on social media @tohuwhenua and pick up our regional Tohu Whenua brochures. tohuwhenua.nz

Glow Show

The Wonderland Glow Show, a glowin-the-dark giant puppet show, is a favourite for families, kids and educators! It's a fusion of science and art, showing reading as a true superpower - one that every kid has inside! On at The Piano, Monday 10 July, with show times at 10 am and 11.30 am.

Booking at iticket.co.nz

Things we’rebuzzing about

Barnardos Early Learning

Every child and whānau is different. To give you more choices, we offer both centre and home-based options in Canterbury. Both provide quality early learning and care within different environments to meet your specific needs.

0800 BARNARDOS

bel.org.nz

NURTURED ONES - THE BABY + KIDS MARKET

Canterbury's biggest market for everything maternity, baby and kids is back this spring! Come along and shop from over 90 local businesses offering high-quality products and services. FREE face painting! FREE kids' activities! FREE goodie bags! FREE workshops! FREE ENTRY! nurturedones.co.nz

NZ's Biggest Science Centre

Tūhura Otago Museum makes science fun! An indoor Tropical Forest with hundreds of rainforest butterflies, a three-storey slide, and 43 other hands-on interactives. Come and visit on your next trip to Dunedin.

otagomuseum.nz/whats-on/do/tuhura

FUDGE COTTAGE KIDSFEST FUN!

The Fudge Cottage has a wide range of fun activities available for kids these school holidays – just click on the Kidsfest logo on its website for more information and booking details.

fudgecottage.co.nz

Staveley Ice Rink

Staveley Ice Rink near Methven is one of the few natural ice-skating locations still left in NZ. It's a magical place with a fire to roast marshmallows, fairy lights and music to skate by. The volunteers behind the rink have been working on a special project to refrigerate the main rink and are hoping to open in mid-June for three months a year. Soon you will be able to book a spot on the ice via Facebook, where you can also find details to donate to help them finish the project.

facebook.com/StaveleyIceRink

Embrace Edwardian life at FERRYMEAD

These school holidays, Ferrymead Heritage Park has a raft of fun activities for visitors to its Edwardian township, plus a special Edwardian programme for KidsFest.

The Edwardian township at Ferrymead is an enchanting place, with cottages and shops as well as an old schoolhouse and jail to captivate the youngsters. It’s fun to wander through this magical setting and ponder the realities of the past.

During these school holidays, the Edwardian township will be a hive of activity. As part of your general admission to Ferrymead Heritage Park, children will be invited to dress up in Edwardian clothing and have their picture taken, bake and decorate biscuits, make Edwardian-themed papercraft and play games from a bygone era. When you visit, follow the Edwardian trail and locate interesting artifacts along the way, or simply follow your nose around the Park. As part of your admission, you're invited to take a trip on one of Ferrymead's restored electric trams. Whether it’s donning an Edwardian bonnet, baking biscuits, riding the tram or checking out the fire engines, history comes alive at Ferrymead Heritage Park.

ferrymead.org.nz

For KidsFest, experience A DAY IN THE LIFE OF AN EDWARDIAN CHILD

As part of KidsFest during the school holidays, Ferrymead Heritage Park is offering a special three-hour programme for children who want to fully embrace “A Day in the Life of an Edwardian Child”. Young history buffs will soak up the immersive experiences on offer, whether it’s attending school or cooking on the coal range. Children may be dropped off for this programme, as long as they are booked in, but need to be eight years or older. The cost is $25, which includes a tram ride. For bookings and further details, go to: education@ferrymead.org.nz or see the KidsFest Programme.

Don't let the flu season get you down this winter

What kinds of illnesses can we expect in the community this winter?

Looking at what's happened in the northern hemisphere's winter months gives us an idea of likely illnesses ahead. We expect the usual colds, flu, and other respiratory illnesses such as Covid. Worryingly, some measles cases have appeared in New Zealand recently, and gastro bugs are floating around too!

How can we avoid these bugs?

Hand washing regularly, especially before eating or putting our hands near our mouths, is one of the best ways to protect ourselves from illness. Some people wear a face mask around others, and research shows this offers another layer of protection from illnesses.

Keeping our immune system as robust as possible helps our body fight off any potential infection. The best ways to do this:

+ Get enough sleep (easier said than done for parents of younger kids!)

+ Eat a variety of foods, including fruit and vegetables, daily.

+ Only drink alcohol occasionally, and don't smoke or vape. If you do, do so away from children.

+ Include exercise daily, even playing in the playground with your kids!

+ Check the family's vaccinations are up-to-date. Vaccinations help our body fight off many diseases when exposed. The influenza (flu) vaccination is available now.

+ Avoid people who are sick and discourage people who 'just have a cold' from visiting until they are better – try an online catch-up instead.

How can we manage flus, colds and tummy bugs at home?

Stay at home! Can someone else help with the kids if a parent is sick? Rest where possible to help our bodies recover faster. Have plenty of fluids, including water, ice blocks, juice, tea and coffee (for adults).

Dehydration is a common reason for people needing hospital care when unwell. Ask your pharmacy about medication that might help symptoms, like paracetamol for pain or fever and throat lozenges for sore throats. Honey can be useful for sore throats but should not be given to children under one year. Chest rubs can also give some relief.

Remember, seek further advice immediately if a family member becomes more unwell, develops a high fever, has trouble breathing, or a child is unusually drowsy or floppy. Contact Healthline, your doctor or go to urgent care.

ABOUT EMMA

Emma Maguire works alongside youth health champion Dame Sue Bagshaw at Te Tahi Youthformerly 298 Youth Services. Emma has worked as a nurse for 25 years and loves working with young people - she says she learns something from her patients every day and loves seeing them grow and develop into fantastic adults!

KINETA BOOKER spoke with Te Tahi Youth's Clinical Team Leader, nurse and mum of two school-aged children, EMMA MAGUIRE, about what's in store for us this winter season and ways to support your family's health.

When the first person becomes sick, for example with Covid, is it best for the rest of the family to wear masks and isolate, or let the bugs spread quickly among the family?

If possible, I think it is best to wear masks and isolate, as a mild cold for one family member may cause serious illness in another family member. Of course, it isn't always practical to do this, but trying to avoid spreading any illness is ideal.

Many of us have become accustomed to using sanitiser all the time, along with regular hand washing. Should we still be using sanitiser? How clean do our hands actually have to be?

Wa shing hands with soap and water and then drying them well is great in most situations, or hand sanitiser when you don't have access to hand-washing facilities. However, for some people with eczema, for example, using hand sanitiser can be very painfu l.

As a full-time working mum, how do you manage when your children are sick?

It's so tricky. When my kids are sick, I try to make the situation less stressful for all. We watch movies or favourite TV programmes and play easy, quick board games – Connect 4 is a favourite! I often make 'picking plates', as they don't feel like full meals.

I understand the difficulty of being a working parent with sick kids. I don't know the answer, but workplaces should understand about keeping sick people at home to stop spreading illness and to support faster recovery. Now that my kids are older, they seem to get sick less often, so for parents of younger kids, hang in there. It does get better.

Sleep safe, my baby

SIDS and Kids New Zealand is dedicated to saving the lives of babies and children during pregnancy, birth, infancy and childhood, and supporting bereaved families. The organisation delivers on its vision through world-class research, evidence-based education and bereavement support, and advocacy.

REMIND EVERYONE WHO CARES FOR YOUR CHILD:

• Sleep baby on their back

• Keep head and face uncovered

• Safe sleeping environment night and day

• Sleep baby in a safe cot in parents’ room

• Keep baby smoke-free before and after birth.

SIDS and Kids provides a range of safe sleeping education and support services as well as a national 24-hour sudden infant death helpline.

0800 164 455 / sidsandkids.org.nz

kcc.org.nz

Use promo code "NATURELOVER" on joining to go in our monthly draw for goodies!

Are you and your child battling for control?

Do you believe children should do as they're told, or do you want them to behave considerately towards others? Clinical psychologist DR LOUISE PORTER says we need to ask ourselves this question.

By Kate Barber

When you’re dealing with resistant or explosive behaviour from your young or not-so-young child, it’s really tough. If you’re feeling exasperated or desperate about your child’s behaviour and your response to it, and saddened about your relationship, you’re not alone.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR CHILDREN?

Louise says how we want to parent boils down to our beliefs about human nature and what we want for our children. “ Do we believe children are out to get us, manipulative, attention seeking? Do we need them to turn out how we want them to be?” These beliefs underpin the ̔Controlling’ parenting style, where the basic objective is that the child will do what they are told, says Louise.

“ Do you want your child to do what they’re told or to behave considerately?”

Louise asks. “ If it’s the latter, it’s about engaging children’s thinking about what happens to others when we behave a certain way rather than what happens

to us , which is what rewards and punishments teach.” This is what the ̔Guidance’ approach is all about.

YOUR CHILD IS TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING

Louise says that all behaviour is communication about whether our needs are being met. She encourages parents to think about needs as cups that need filling.

“ If parents are trying to make children do something that isn’t meeting their needs – to be understood, for connection, for independence, for instance – their cups will be emptying, and they will be resistant, disruptive, even explosive.”1

As a parent, their behaviour may be exasperating, embarrassing and stressful, but it is a response to their unmet needs. Louise says, “our biggest mistake is telling them off or trying to quieten them down.” Instead, we need to translate their outburst into communication about their needs.

Empathy is the key, she says. Ask what they need or might help, and really try to

listen to them. “ Instead of saying ̔you’re fine’ (they’re not), tell them you’re there for them and that they'll feel better soon.”

Remember: “ When someone is drowning, it is not the time to give swimming lessons,” says Louise. “ Say something like, ̔You’re hurt, you’re angry. What will help you? Would you like to go somewhere quiet and play with your cars?’ If they can’t answer, decide for them, but reassure them you’re there for them.” Of course, realise that at that moment, they may need space from you. (This isn’t ̔time out’ for ̔naughtiness’, it’s space where you don't overload them, but instead reassure them that you’re there if and when they need you.)

What if they tell you they hate you, and you're ruining their life? Louise acknowledges that it’s really hard, but says: “ It’s not personal. They are angry. Respond by saying, ̔You’re angry at the moment, I get that.’”

Afterwards, you can talk about it. “At the end of the day, you could say: ̔When you got upset like you did this morning, what else could Mum or Dad do to help

you?’ Use them as a consultant. Let them know you’re still there for them. Perhaps they’ll tell you about their needs that weren’t being met. You can tell them it was stressful for you, but don’t lecture them and make them feel ashamed of having big feelings.”

THE 'DANCE' OF CONTROL

Children get self-esteem from feeling they belong (they want you to like them and want to cooperate), and that they have some command of their own lives. For some children – Louise calls these children ̔spirited’ – having autonomy is their main source of self-esteem. “ Spirited kids are willing to risk your displeasure to prove that you can't make them do stuff,” she says.

All children want some autonomy in their lives, especially ̔spirited ’ kids. “Children who display repeated emotional or behavioural difficulties are often protesting about our efforts to control them,” says Louise. We get into a ̔dance’ for control. “ The longer the dance goes on, the more convinced each is that they are responding to the other. The parent says, ̔I’m controlling because he’s so out of control’, and the child says, ̔I’m out of control because she tries to boss me around.’”

CHANGING THE PATTERN

You can change this ̔dance’ by stepping out of it. “ Have a conversation with your child: ̔I think I’ve made a mistake, and I have heard about other ways of doing this. I wonder

whether we can work together to think of some ways that will work for you and me.’”

Louise says it can be hard to learn the strategies and be authentic. “ It’s a two-step forward, one back process, trying to change your responses to focus on your child’s needs.” And, “ it takes about a week per year of your child’s age for them to recover their self-esteem.” But, she reassures parents, “our kids love us so much, and as soon as the door opens to some empathy, they’re going to soak that up”.

“ If we have the courage to say to children, ̔I messed up, I forgot what I stand for, let’s have that conversation again, shall we’, we won't lose face. They know we’ve messed up. You gain traction by saying, ̔I forgot again, and I’m sorry.’” She urges parents to keep trying.

If you feel like you're in a battle for control with your child and desperate to change the way you respond in those difficult moments, Dr Louise Porter's book Parental Guidance Recommended unpacks the Guidance approach to parenting (and raising emotionally healthy kids) with strategies for teaching children to act in ways that are considerate of others. louiseporter.com.au

1Louise provides a comprehensive list of human needs in her book Parental Guidance Recommended. Identifying your child’s needs isn't always easy when emotions are high, and familiarising yourself with these needs can help.

Avoiding parental burnout

Juggling work, children, home life, family health… there’s little wriggle room for anything else, let alone something unexpected. It’s this kind of hectic life that leads to burnout – the point of mental, physical and emotional exhaustion.

By Kineta Booker

In Miriam McCaleb’s work in child development and parent wellbeing, she’s worked alongside hundreds of families. “Burnout is one of those things that manifests differently from person to person. It really depends on personal context and their own developmental history – what their family was like growing up and how they were allowed to handle emotions,” Miriam says.

Pay attention to the basics.

“Parents do well when they pay attention to the basics. Living your life so you have a healthy sleep schedule and regular bowel motions changes everything,” says Miriam.

Find people to make up your network.

“We all have our ebbs, and by reaching out to people, you're showing them that you need them just as much as they need you,” Miriam says.

Talk with someone you trust.

“There is research to show that hearing the voice of people you trust provides benefits that are not replicated by text conversations,” Miriam says.

“There was a study on soldiers from the Gulf War who needed pain relief, and if they got their Mum on the phone, they required less pain medication than others. These relationships matter in profound ways.”

Put down the phone.

“Avoid looking at others’ curated feeds when you can. We compare the worst of ourselves with the best of someone else. Be cautious about what social media feeds you’re paying attention to,” says Miriam.

Make exercise your best friend.

“Exercise will make you feel better! Outdoors is best, and outdoors with a friend is one of the best things you can do.”

Give a gift to your future self.

“On a Sunday, do a bunch of meal prep. I’m going to do as much prep as my future self needs – with tonnes of vegetables because we want to have those healthy bowel motions,” says Miriam. “Even if you don’t feel like doing it – you’re helping the future you.”

Have a 'rectangle of sanity'.

“Five minutes before bed: is everything ready for the next day? The balance between enough organisation rather than everything being perfect.” Miriam talks about her “rectangle of sanity – like a clear space on the bench. Even if the rest of the house is a tip, the rectangle is my bare minimum and makes me feel competent and on top of things.”

Look out for your friends.

“If you’ve got friends who are losing their sense of humour, that's a sign they may not be doing well,” says Miriam. Have a quiet word: ̔You don’t seem like yourself; do you need a listening ear?’ If I didn’t know someone that well, I would shoulder tap someone that does for them to check in and see if they’re OK.”

You're not alone.

Miriam reminds parents: “We all go through patches that are incredibly intense. Burnout doesn’t have to be a failure. Don’t feel like you're doing anything wrong. It’s a series of systemic failures. Just say to yourself, ̔I’m doing my best; things will get better.’ With major burnout – if you’re in a situation that you can’t sustain, that’s when things get to the point of being courageous enough to seek external support. Burnout gets you to that point of having to make some changes.”

Children and family health researcher MIRIAM MCCALEB shares some practical advice to avoid parental burnout.

A secondary school where they belong

By Kate Barber

What are your values and aspirations?

When we think about schooling and what we want for our children, we often place a lot of importance on academics. However, former guidance counsellor Louise Oskam urges parents to think more broadly about their aspirations for their child/ren when considering the right school.

When looking for a school for their own daughter, Louise says, “we wanted somewhere she would be safe, somewhere she felt she belonged, and somewhere that reflected her cultural heritage. Long term, we wanted our daughter to be a contributing member of society, and our society is diverse. We were looking for somewhere she could excel academically if she chose to, but more than anything, we wanted to have a kind, compassionate daughter.”

One Canterbury principal we spoke with said that the best school for your whānau is “one that supports rangatahi to be able to be who they are, that allows them to follow their interests and supports them to engage in new opportunities.”

How do you know what a school is really like?

Visit! Louise recommends visiting during school hours and not just on an Open Day. Meet with the principal and the person in charge of transitions. She reminds parents not to pay too much attention to a school’s reputation: “Don’t choose or write off a school based on the reputation it had when you were young, or because of its decile rating”, says Louise. “Go along and look at the leadership of a school – a strong leader will transform a school.”

Louise also suggests talking with students who go there and asking them what it’s like. Ultimately, you have to “trust your gut instincts”, she says. “What does it feel like here? Does it feel like a place that reflects your values?”

What does your son or daughter think?

It is important young people are part of the process. As the principal we spoke with says, “young people want to have a voice. They want you to work with them rather than impose things on them.” They may well have slightly different priorities, but it’s important to consider them. Ask them how they felt about a school when visiting and talking with staff and students.

Louise also reminds parents that, just because a school is a good fit for your eldest child, their younger sibling might be much happier somewhere different.

When should you start thinking about options?

As soon as you move into an area, or even beforehand, think about your options, Louise says. Is there a school that reflects your values? “By high-school age, they are able to bus if you can afford that”, which may widen your circle of options.

What if your son or daughter is unhappy at school?

As a guidance counsellor, Louise saw a lot of teenagers who were unhappy at school. She urges parents to “take it seriously when they tell you they don’t like school.” Sometimes changing schools is a good option; however, it’s important to consider carefully what the actual issues are.

If you’re in a situation where changing schools isn’t an option, let them know it won’t always be like this and focus on the strengths and skills they’ll be developing as they navigate the challenges, says Louise. “Young people need hope and for there to be meaning to the issues they’re experiencing.”

Choosing a secondary school for your child is a big decision, but how do you know the school is the right fit for your whānau?

Pull me out and pin me up

There are loads of events and attractions around Canterbury and further afield to pop in the family calendar as we celebrate Matariki and make the most of the winter break. If you have an event you’d like to add to our spring calendar, email: sonia@familytimes.co.nz

on this winter

What’s

10 July Glow Show , The Piano, 156 Armagh Street

The Wonderland Glow Show, a glow-in-the-dark giant puppet show, is a favourite for families, kids and educators! It’s a fusion of science and art, showing reading as a true superpowerone that every kid has inside! On at The Piano, Monday 10 July, with show times at 10 am and 11.30 am.

6–8 July Sherlock –A Stage Musical Rangiora Town Hall, 303 High Street, Rangiora

Throughout July Willowbank Wildlife Reserve

Follow Sherlock Homes and his trusty assistant, Dr Watson, as they solve three different mysteries and meet some entertaining characters along the way. Presented by the Hartley School of Performing Arts senior school.

60 Hussey Road, Northwood Discover Willowbank’s Great Midwinter SALE in July 2023! Get 30% off day entry tickets by purchasing online and enjoy exclusive in-house discounts! Nowhere else in New Zealand will you find such a wide range of New Zealand wildlife so close to you.

1–14 July Fudge Cottage Fun Arts Centre, 28 Worcester Boulevard, Christchurch The Fudge Cottage has a wide range of fun activities available for kids these school holidays –just click on the KidsFest logo on its website for more information and booking details. fudgecottage.co.nz

iticket.co.nz

11–13 August Disney on Ice presents 100 Years of Wonder Christchurch Arena, 55 Jack Hinton Drive, Addington Join Mickey Mouse and his friends at Disney on Ice, presenting 100

townhallcinemas.co.nz/ live-shows

7–15 July Tīrama Mai , Victoria Square, Corner Colombo & Armagh Streets, Christchurch

The ultimate light festival is based on Matariki in Ōtautahi. Immerse yourself in a stunning display of light and sound that celebrates the Māori New Year and the coming of winter. eventfinda.co.nz/2023/ tirama-mai/christchurch

8 July The International Grand Magic Show 2023 Isaac Theatre Royal,

willowbank.co.nz

1–16 July

Orana Wildlife Park –Kids visit free for the July holidays

793 McLeans Island Road

The July holidays are a great time to visit Orana Wildlife Park, and meet their giraffe calf, Kevin, because kids visit for free! Two kids (5–15 years) get in free with each paying

1–16 July

DUNEDIN NZ’s Biggest Science Centre Otago Museum, 419 Great King Street, Dunedin Central Tūhura Otago Museum makes science fun! An indoor Tropical Forest with hundreds of rainforest butterflies, a three-storey slide and 43 other hands-on interactives. Come and visit on your next trip to Dunedin. otagomuseum.nz/whats-on

Embrace Edwardian life at Ferrymead , Ferrymead Heritage Park, 50 Ferrymead Park Drive, Heathcote

Edwardian-inspired activities for all visitors as part of your general admission, which includes a tram ride.

Plus, Ferrymead is running a special booked-in drop-off programme for young history buffs aged eight and over –“A Day in the Life of an Edwardian Child” –full of immersive experiences and a tram ride. ferrymead.org.nz kidsfest.co.nz

August

Blacks vs Wallabies

at Disney on Ice, presenting 100 Years of Wonder, an adventure filled with world-class skating, high-flying acrobatics and unexpected stunts!

disneyonice.com/en-nz

145 Gloucester Street, Christchurch

adult when presenting this listing (valid 1–16 July 2023, cannot be combined with other deals).

9 September, 9:30am–2pm Nurtured OnesThe Baby + Kids Market Lincoln Event Centre, 15 Meijer Drive, Lincoln Canterbury’s biggest market for everything maternity, baby and kids is back this Spring! Come along and shop from over 90 local businesses offering high-quality products and services. Free face painting! Free kids’ activities! Free goodie bags! Free workshops! FREE ENTRY! nurturedones.co.nz

Breath-taking international magic extravaganza! The Oriental Wonders will showcase their unique performance style, leaving you spellbound with their astonishing tricks. Only two shows.

isaactheatreroyal.co.nz

Top Pick

22–25 Sept

Pooh Bear Live! James Hay Theatre, 86 Kilmore Street, Christchurch

Join Christopher Robin and his friends Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Piglet and Eeyore as they return to the Hundred Acre Wood in this life-size stage production celebrating the 100year anniversary of AA Milne’s beloved creation. ticketek.co.nz

All Blacks vs Wallabies (Bledisloe Cup match)

Forsyth Barr Stadium, 130 Anzac Avenue, Dunedin

oranawildlifepark.co.nz

8–9 July

Christchurch Brick Show Christchurch Arena, 55 Jack Hinton Drive, Addington

The biggest LEGO show of its kind, exhibiting amazing LEGO creations to inspire creativity and innovation, plus loads of hands-on activities for kids in the Imagination Station’s huge build-and-learn zone.

christchurchbrickshow.org.nz

9 July

Blackwells Fire + Ice Festival Raven Quay Kaiapoi

Witness ice sculpting, musicians, fire poi performers and entertainers over an eight-hour timeframe on a Saturday afternoon and early evening. Plus, a night market is held in the early evening with food and craft stalls.

visitwaimakariri.co.nz/events

July

1–16

Kids go FREE at the Christchurch Gondola for KidsFest! 10 Bridle Path Road, Heathcote Valley Up to three children go free with a paying adult. Use the promo code KIDSFEST23 to book online and experience the fantastic views, walking tracks, Discovery Ride, café and more.

christchurchattractions.nz

July

1–16

Two kids cruise for free with Black Cat Cruises Akaroa Main Wharf, Akaroa

All Blacks Bledisloe Cup match against the Wallabies. Soak up what will be an incredible atmosphere at Dunedin’s Forsyth Barr Stadium.

2.35 pm kick-off. tickets.allblacks.com

These school holidays, two kids cruise for free per full-paying adult. Encounter Hector’s dolphins, New Zealand fur seals, coastal birds and more. If you don’t see any Hector’s dolphins, you can cruise again for free. blackcat.co.nz

3–15 July Disney’s Frozen Jr The Court Theatre, Bernard Street, Addington Disney’s Frozen JR . brings to the live stage the magic that sisters Elsa and Anna experience as they overcome danger together. This inspiring show includes all of your favourite characters and songs, plus an additional five new songs as a special treat fo r audiences. courttheatre.org.nz

July Stories from the Blue Chair Malthouse Theatre, 71 Colombo Street, Christchurch Co me and hear some of your favourite stories brought to life!

1–16

Intimate, engaging and interactive theatre for young ones with two delightful children’s stories, “Pumpkin Soup” and “Boy”, adapted for the sta ge. malthouse.co.nz

CHRISTCHURCH 24 June–16

July

Hanmer Springs Attractions Jet Boat Ride holiday deal 839 Hanmer Springs Road, Hanmer Springs

Experience an action-packed Hanmer Springs Attractions Jet Boat ride for less. Adult tickets are only $56, and child tickets are only $30. Book online for family-friendly fun on the Waiau River!

hanmerspringsattractions.nz

July, 7–9

30 June–2

July

July, 14–16

Illuminate , Ferrymead Heritage Park, 50 Ferrymead Park Drive, Heathcote

Illuminate showcases thousands of lights throughout the event, alongside food trucks, rides, amusements, face painting and much, much more! illuminateshow.co.nz

Facial Beauty and A Smile to share –“The

- Says Dr. Sachdev of Smilesville Dental

Early intervention Dentofacial Orthopaedics is based on treatment at a younger age. It works by guiding and developing the growth of the muscles, teeth and bone into the ideal shape and their relationship with each other in a “non-surgical, non-extraction” way, creating stable bites using postural changes. This treatment focuses on creating room to accommodate all the adult teeth, alleviate crowding and produce a more balanced facial profile. Guiding the growth of the jaws helps address and prevent overcrowded teeth and poor biting relationships between the upper and lower jaws. Normally this treatment can be done without the need for jaw surgery and without the need for tooth extractions. Dentofacial Orthopedic treatment not only creates a full profile and a wide natural smile, a more open airway (addressing breathing problems such as asthma, mouth breathing, snoring and sleep apnoea) but also promotes the healthy positioning of the jaw joints (TMJs). Early intervention allows focus on the growth, development and wellbeing of our younger patients along with straightening teeth before permanent teeth are set, thereby creating balance and facial symmetry. By using early orthodontics our goal is to maintain or provide space for permanent teeth so they grow in straight. This minimises the need for more extensive and painful intervention later. “We believe 6-8 years of age is the best time to assess if your child would benefit from this treatment.”

If a child missed this age then get our free assessment immediately as earlier is still better than later in general.

Smilesville offers the revolutionary Invisalign teeth straightening option of realigning teeth without the use of metal as it is a major advancement in the field of Orthodontics due to its invisible nature, hygiene maintenance, accuracy, design control and reliability of results. Smilesville offers Invisalign for kids, pre-teens, teens and adults. “We believe in minimally invasive dentistry and Invisalign is the least invasive procedure for straightening teeth and getting an amazing Smile.” says Dr. Sachdev of Smilesville

Dental

Its major advantage is no wires to trap food and no manipulating toothbrushes around fixed wires, so it helps the wearer to maintain a high level of dental hygiene.

What Smilesville patients are saying

Grant: “Competent , professional care with a laugh and a smile. Ruchika looks after myself and two of my children. She is great with the kids, especially my youngest who can be a testing patient.”

Ruth: “Very happy with the good care taken of my children during their orthodontics. Some nervous moments as the treatment involved an ‘ugly duckling’ phase but as a result they have fabulous smiles and we are all very pleased. Rusheka is very patient with people and accommodating and I recommend coming when your children are as young as 8 to be able to take advantage of the most options for their treatment.”

Rachele: “I have been with Smilesville Dental for the last 10 years. We are now up to child number 4 for orthodontic treatment. Ruchika and Sam have been amazing over this time. My husband and I also attend the clinic. Dentists are not my favourite place but this is the best pain free, friendly and quick service. I highly recommend Ruchika and her team.”

Leaders in Appearance dentistry

• Orthodontics for adults, youth and children

• Invisalign – The Invisible way to straighten teeth - First Ever Platinum Provider of the South Island treating with Invisalign for 15 years +

• Free dental treatment for 13-18yr olds (OHSA conditions apply)

Smilesville Dental was the first Invisalign platinum provider from Christchurch (and the whole of the South Island) and has more than 15 years Invisalign experience.

Smilesville Dental exclusively offers expert advice and treatments in advanced cosmetic dentistry, Smile design and full mouth reconstruction, implants, Invisalign and Orthodontics to give you an amazing Smile not only to Smile … but to Smile with Confidence.

Talk to the friendly staff at Smilesville Dental to transform your child’s face, jaws, teeth and life!

Call 0800 INVISIBLE (0800 468 474)

• Extreme Dental makeovers

• Whitening

• General Dental and complete Hygiene services

• Implants

• A specialist referral might be required in some cases

• Best price Guaranteed

“We want to bring balance and facial symmetry to your child’s smile and face —helping them look and feel their best.”

Work, Play and Stay with Hotels by Wyndham

Perfect for that much-needed luxury escape or a business trip within the country or further afield, Hotels by Wyndham offers carefree, contemporary accommodation across New Zealand, Australia and Asia Pacific.

When you’re away on business and working hard, you want somewhere stylish and relaxing to come home to at the end of the day. Hotels by Wyndham consistently deliver modern, well-appointed, impeccably cleaned suites here and overseas. So why not take advantage of Hotels by Wyndham’s newly launched “Work, Play and Stay” offer when planning your next work trip? All you need to do is stay on a little longer – to unwind and recharge! When you stay two consecutive nights or more at participating Hotels by Wyndham, enjoy 20 per cent off plus earn 3,500 bonus points when you book direct. Simply book from 15 May 2023, and complete your stay by 31 August 2023.

Staying in New Zealand, you’ll find Wyndham Hotels and Resorts in Remarkables Park, Queenstown Central, Christchurch, Wellington, Hamilton and Newmarket. Situated in Kilmore Street, the centrally located Wyndham Garden Christchurch City is great for a weekend ‘staycation’ for Canterbury parents or visiting relatives.

If work takes you to the capital, stay in the heart of the central business district at the contemporary TRYP by Wyndham Wellington on Tory Street – the perfect hotel for you to work and play. Surrounded by a variety of eateries, the hotel is within walking distance from Tākina Wellington Convention and Exhibition Centre as well as the Wellington Waterfront Walk.

If you’re venturing to more exotic locales (exciting!), Wyndham has stunning hotels and resorts in Vietnam, Singapore, South Korea, Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia, Philippines, Japan, China and Fiji.

Wherever your work schedule or holiday plans take you, Hotels by Wyndham promises stylish and easy accommodation – so you can focus on your work and recharge afterwards.

Book now: wyndhamhotels.com/hotel-deals/work-play-stay

NEW ZEALAND

TRYP BY WYNDHAM WELLINGTON, TORY STREET

In the heart of the CBD, this modern hotel is within walking distance of the Wellington Waterfront Walk—lined with shops, eateries, bars, and attractions like the Wellington Museum.

THAILAND

WYNDHAM GRAND NAI HARN BEACH PHUKET

A t ropical p aradise by the b each, this modern resort has restaurants, pools, a spa and fitness centre , and is surrounded by lush greenery and sparkling lagoons.

VIETNAM

WYNDHAM GRAND PHU QUOC

A magical Vietnamese island off the coast of Cambodia beckons. Escape to a beachside paradise boasting extraordinary amenities and world-class service at Wyndham Grand Phu Quoc. Discover Wyndham's diverse portfolio in Asia Pacific at wyndhamhotel.com

Cat

has a special 'Kids go free' offer over the July holidays.

Kids go free

With the cost of living making everyone cringe, finding options for keeping your family holiday budget in check are more than welcome. Spotting a 'Kids go free' option is music to parents' ears. Travel consultant MAXINE LAWS rounds up some offers you might want to check out.

NEW ZEALAND DEALS

Accommodation is one of the big expenses on a family holiday, so getting a deal on this can be a game changer. Holiday Inn Hotels offers a 'kids stay and eat free' deal at a range of their hotels when kids are sharing accommodation with their guardians. Kids even get their own special menu. Meanwhile, Sudima Hotels offers a similar 'kids stay free' option, with a half-price breakfast available the following day. This offer is available at Auckland, Rotorua, Christchurch and Queenstown properties.

Fancy a visit to the capital?

You may want to check out Movenpick Hotel Wellington's 'kids stay free' and 'all you can eat free chocolate hour!' Kids under 12 stay free when sharing with their guardians and can then join in with an hour's free chocolate indulgence. While you're in Wellington, you may want to check out the free entry to museums such as Te Papa or a free 'Kids in the House' guided tour of Parliament.

Heading to Auckland

If you have a birthday coming up, Sea Life Kelly Tarlton in Auckland allows free entry on your birthday – just show your photo ID. Even better if it falls on a weekend as Auckland Transport offers free transport, including buses, trains and ferries, to children aged 5-15 years with a registered HOP card. You could hop on a bus to Auckland Museum, where entry is by invited donation for New Zealand residents living outside Auckland.

OVERSEAS ADVENTURES

Keen to travel further afield? It may be time to consider Vanuatu. Kids under 12 'stay, play and eat free' at Holiday Inn Resort Vanuatu and Warwick Le Lagon.

Meanwhile, Pandaw River Cruises offer families an educational adventure during the school holidays on rivers in exotic locations such as India, Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos. What's more, kids get their own free cabin, so no more sharing! The offer is available on selected dates and applies to children aged 5-17 years. This one isn't suitable for little ones, though, as the ships have railings but no netting.

If cruising is your thing, you might want to check out MSC Ocean Cruises, which allows kids under 12 to sail free when sharing the same cabin as their guardians (like the Pandaw River Cruises, port tax charges still apply). They sail in a variety of beautiful locations around the globe and are very popular in Europe. There are many kids' facilities (including toddler and baby services) onboard, including the ever-popular kids' clubs.

*Check with companies, in New Zealand and overseas, as to specific Terms and Conditions. Deals may be subject to availability.

Keen to take the kids skiing these holidays? Be sure to check out the deals different ski fields are offering. At Porters Alpine Resort and Hanmer’s Amuri Ski Club kids 10 and under ski free.

Black

Cruises

CLOSER TO HOME

Big travel plans off the radar for a while? Don't worry; there are plenty of great places closer to home where kids go free too.

Get the kids on the water to see some Hector's dolphins with Black Cat Cruises. Leaving daily from Akaroa, they have a special 'kids go free' offer running for the school holidays (1-16 July), allowing two free kids per paying adult. They also allow under fives to sail for free all year.

For some local fun, make the most of the 'Kids go free' deal on the Christchurch Gondola and Tram these holidays. If they're really into wildlife, Orana

Wildlife Park also has a 'Kids go free' offer spanning the winter break.

Or, jump in the car and head to Larnach Castle in Dunedin, where kids also go free with no ratio restriction, so you can take as many kids up to 14 years as you can manage… if you dare!

If you're skiing in Queenstown these holidays, why not hire your ski gear at Browns Ski Rental in Shotover Street? Children under 10 receive free hire of skis/boards, boots and helmets for every adult renting their gear.

And don't forget kids five and under can ski for free (free lift pass) at places like

Mt Hutt and Coronet Peak, while it's free for kids 10 and under at Porters. It's definitely worth checking out what your favourite ski field offers. Club fields can offer particularly great deals – Hanmer's Amuri Ski Club, for instance, has a deal where children 10 years and under ski free with a paying adult.

If you fancy a city staycation so that you can be a proper tourist in your own backyard, you could always go all out with the 'kids stay and eat (breakfast) free' offer with Rydges Latimer Christchurch's 'family getaway' – valid all the way through 2023.

HANMER SPRINGS ATTRACTIONS

Get ready for action-packed fun at Hanmer Springs Attractions! There’s a great range of exciting and familyfriendly activities to suit all ages, including jet boating, river rafting, off-road buggy adventures and paintball, as well as quad biking, clay bird shooting and bungy jumping for adults.

We are the only jet boat operator in Hurunui to be awarded a Qualmark Gold Sustainable Tourism Business Award, and we hold an AdventureMark – both awarded by independent safety auditors. Find us above the Waiau River, only 90 minutes’ drive from Christchurch. There’s a viewing platform, on-site café and plenty of parking. See our website for great school holiday deals!

hanmerspringsattractions.nz

CHRISTCHURCH TRAM

Hop on board the Christchurch Tram to see and explore the central city! Kids go free on the heritage tramcars with a paying adult. There are plenty of family-friendly spots along the circuit – including Tūranga, Christchurch Art Gallery and the Margaret Mahy Playground – making this an ideal activity for families to enjoy. Tickets are valid for hop-on, hop-off travel for one day to explore the 18 stops en route, with a yearly pass also available for frequent visitors. The Christchurch Tram is a fantastic option for both Canterbury locals and visitors to see the exciting changes in the central city. christchurchattractions.nz

The majestic Larnach Castle is a Tohu Whenua heritage site and a must-see for visitors to Dunedin. tohuwhenua.nz/otago/larnach-castle

Amuri Ski Club, Hanmer Springs

Margaret Mahy playground

Christchurch Tram

A GREAT DAY on the slopes

Ever thought about taking the family skiing? Mum of three, ANNIE MANSFIELD, shares some tips for making your day up the mountains more affordable and loads of fun.

“Our older boys now ski with varying degrees of competence, and the youngest (5) merrily whizzes down the slopes. What we all have in common is the pure joy of being up in the mountains, doing what we love together.

In our family, we are lucky to have the budget for skiing. It's an activity I do with my three boys, which keeps me going through the winter. We all absolutely love it! The early morning wake-up call and drive through the dark, sausage sandwiches en route, audiobooks for the boys and coffee for me, mum, the sunrise, the slow and steady crocodile of cars driving up the mountain. It feels like a family pilgrimage. Skiing is a fun and rewarding activity for all the family. It requires a certain amount of resilience to get yourself going, but once you are staying upright for more than a few minutes you will love it. Being up in the mountains, surrounded by snow-covered peaks and the endless blue sky is a spiritual feeling for me. It serves as an escape from the daily grind and a connection to the beautiful world around us. You are zipping down the mountain, breathing in that wintry fresh air and it's a feeling of freedom and joy. I can't get enough of it.

GET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR DAY.

+ Check the weather conditions the night before, and don't bother going if there is snow or strong winds forecast. You should leave early and allow plenty of time for the journey.

+ Make sure you have suitably warm gear for the mountains – wind and water-resistant jacket and pants, gloves, hat, base and mid layers (wool or synthetic but not cotton) and warm socks (at least two pairs). Getting cold and wet is a quick way to ruin your day.

+ You can hire skis and boots, helmets and goggles up the slopes. We purchased our gear secondhand to keep costs down.

+ Be prepared for the minor hurdle of getting your gear and boots on and much hilarity when attempting to move anywhere on skis for the first few hours.

+ You can bring your own picnic and snacks and the super important flask of hot drinks. A copious supply of lollies is a must to keep energy levels high.

+ If you're a nervous driver, the larger ski fields operate a shuttle bus service, taking the stress out of the drive up the mountain.

+ If you have the budget, it is highly recommended to book beginners of all ages into ski school lessons.

All of the Canterbury ski fields are located within a couple of hours' drive from Christchurch, making them ideal for a big day out. Mount Hutt is our top ski destination because it offers the largest range of slopes and top-quality lifts. The 'lifties' are cheery and helpful, and there is plenty of space for everyone. It's a great place to learn and even better once you are ready for more of a challenge. For a lower-cost alternative, Mt Cheeseman is a family-friendly club ski field. They offer a very competitive beginners' package.

BUNDLES OF FUN

Play & Go storage bags double as play mats, making clean-up quick and easy. Simply lay out the mat, play with toys and then pull the drawstring to gather everything up into a neat, compact bundle. Perfect for playrooms and bedrooms and even for trips to the park.

thetoybox.co.nz

COVER YOUR BASES

Ideal for use as a tablecloth, chair cover, messyplay mat, highchair mat or change mat, oilcloths and enduits provide a fun and functional surface covering. The Fabric of Society carries an extensive collection in a variety of colours and patterns – the PVC-coated oilcloth uses thicker cotton, making it durable and easy to wipe clean.

thefabricofsociety.co.nz

PRIDE OF PLACE

GET CREATIVE WITH RESENE FX BLACKBOARD PAINT

Create your own mini city using wood offcuts and Resene FX Blackboard Paint. Or go colourful with Resene FX Chalkboard Paint, available in a range of fun, bright colours.  Decorate everything from arts and crafts to walls and furniture for fun features inside and out.  Available from Resene ColorShops nationwide.

resene.co.nz/colorshops

STAND-OUT STORAGE

The Scandinavian-inspired natural Coat and Hat Stand from Mocka offers stylish vertical storage for children's bedrooms, with adjustable height settings so it can grow with your little one. Ideal for easily displaying books and hanging hats or jackets, the Nikolas Wall Shelf can be used on its own or stacked for more stylish storage. mocka.co.nz

Frame it!

The Articulate Gallery's award-winning range of slot-sided art frames makes showcasing your children's amazing creations simple. The frames hang portrait or landscape and even display 3D pictures – the ones with cotton wool or pasta!

steleo.co.nz

The perfect couch covering for kids

MAKE YOUR OWN OOBLECK!

Wintery days are here, and it is the perfect time for some inside science experiments. The all-time favourite of many little people is oobleck. Here we show you how to make your own and tell you how and why it works.

YOU WILL NEED

+ 1 ½ cups of cornflour

+ 1 cup of water

+ Food colouring or paint

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Put the cornflour into a bowl

2 . Add the water

3 . Mix well (this is tough work, and hands work best)

4 Add the paint or food colouring

WHY DOES OOBLECK WORK?

Oobleck is so much fun because it is a non-Newtonian fluid, which means its viscosity (runniness) depends on how much stress it is under. For example, if you squeeze, hit or roll it, oobleck behaves like a solid. This happens because applying stress in the form of sudden movement pushes the particles together, making it hard for them to slide against each other. However, once you stop moving it, the oobleck acts like a liquid again.

If you are planning a trip to Dunedin this winter, make sure you check out the Tūhura Otago Museum Science Centre. With over 45 hands-on interactives, there is lots of warm, indoor fun. Plus, you can visit the Tropical Forest, where butterflies play and it is summer all year round.

otagomuseum.nz

HELP IS AT HAND

GRANDPARENTS RAISING GRANDCHILDREN

0800 GRANDS (0800 472 637) grg.org.nz

SIDS AND KIDS

0800 164 455 | sidsandkids.org.nz

PARENT HELPLINE

0800 568 856 | parenthelp.org.nz

PERINATAL WELLBEING CANTERBURY

perinatalwellbeing.org.nz

Maika, aged 2

A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE

Capture their likeness and create something beautiful for your wall.

By Kate Barber

YOU’LL NEED

+ Access to a computer and printer to print your photo/s and change the size if needed.

+ Canvas or card. We used 8X10 inch canvas (a set of 4 is around $10-$20), but card would also work well.

+ Scissors, tape, pencil and paper

+ Paint brushes

+ A selection of Resene testpots in your choice of colours.

For this project we used:

+ Resene Harlequin and Resene Relax

+ Resene Hendrix and Resene A shanti

+ Resene Surfie Gree n and Resene Siesta

For all your DIY projects, big or small, visit your nearest Resene ColorShop. resene.co.nz/colorshops

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Take a photo of your child from their side.

2 . Upload to a computer and change the size of the photo if needed. When you print out your photo, it needs to take up most of your canvas or card.

3 . Print the photo and carefully cut out your child’s profile. When it comes to hair, you don’t need to cut around each strand!

4 . Tape it onto the canvas/card so it doesn’t move.

5 Carefully draw around the picture, which will leave you a light outline of your child’s profile on the canvas/card.

6 Carefully paint inside the profile and then outside. Remember, if you make a mistake, it’s easy to paint over.

7 Allow to dry, then display.

Siblings

We created a profile painting for each of our girls, and they loved getting involved. They each selected a Resene Multi-finish colour that appealed, from which we chose a lighter and darker shade (for instance, Resene Surfie Green and Resene Ashanti belong on the same colour chart). We planned to display the profiles side by side and wanted the colours to work well together. So, we mixed it up: each child had a darker shade from their colour (Resene Surfie Green) paired with a lighter shade from one of their sister’s (Resene Siesta).

Note: because it requires care and precision, this activity is better suited to older children.

time KIDS’

Who is whimsical, witty and wonderfully weird? KIWICORN!

OODLES OF EMOTIONS

Following on from the bestselling Kiwicorn, awardwinning author and illustrator of the Kuwi the Kiwi ™ series, Kat Quin introduces us to Kiwicorn's Flurry of Feelings. The simple story gives children the chance to identify a feeling and opens up a discussion about what makes them feel that way. illustrated.co.nz

WONDERFULLY WEIRD

We have one Kiwicorn bundle to give away. Includes: Kiwicorn plush toy, Kiwicorn's Flurry of Feelings board book, Just Like Kiwicorn board book, Kiwicorn book and set of 8 Kiwicorn badges. Follow us for your chance to win @familytimesnewzealand.

Prep 10 minutes

Cook

40 minutes

Serves

6 (makes 12 buns)

Sid Sahrawat’s Fried Chicken Bao

The steamed bao buns filled with crispy fried chicken thigh pieces and quick pickles make for a delicious family meal.

Ingredients

2 x packs of Bao buns

Fried chicken

1 kg Boneless chicken thighs, skinless, cut into large pieces

2 Tbsp Unflavoured natural yoghurt

50 g Plain flour

2 Tbsp Paprika

1 Tbsp Salt

50 g Potato flour or plain flour

40 g Cornflour

1 tsp Baking powder

1 Ltr Canola oil for frying

Pickles

1 cup Water

½ cup Sugar

½ cup White vinegar

1 tsp Salt

½ Telegraph cucumber peeled and cut into ribbons with a peeler or mandolin.

1 medium Carrot, finely sliced

1 bunch Radishes, washed and sliced thinly

Method

We use Kungfood baos from the frozen aisle and steam them according to packet instructions.

Prepare the chicken: In a bowl, toss the chicken with the yoghurt. In another bowl, mix the flour, paprika, salt, potato flour, cornflour and baking powder together.

Heat the oil in a deep fryer, if you have one, or a large saucepan.

Once the oil is hot, toss chicken pieces into the flour mixture, coat well and then deep fry for about 10 minutes until crispy.

You might have to fry the chicken in two batches. Watch that the oil doesn't get too hot, or the chicken will burn.

Serve with pickles: In a saucepan, warm the water and add the sugar, vinegar and salt. Once the sugar is dissolved, take the saucepan off the heat and add the cucumber, carrot and radishes. Cover with a lid and set aside for 30 minutes or until you are ready to assemble.

TIP: You can make the pickles ahead of time and store them in a mason jar.

Restaurateurs Sid and Chand

Sahrawat own three Auckland restaurants, Cassia, Sid at The French Café, and Kol, as well as their Cassia at Home range of sauces and spices made for the home cook. The busy couple love spending time in the kitchen and cooking with the kids, Zoya (12) and Roan (7), who enjoy trying new recipes and foods.

1 pair of leggings from Fanny Adams

Cool and comfy

NZ-made leggings available in bold prints and classic colours. fannyadams.co.nz

1 of 2 hoodies from E Tū Tāngata

One men’s and one women’s hoodie from E Tū Tāngata – an initiative seeking to empower people to know their own worth. Choose from their Original or Valuable styles. shop.etutangata.nz/collections

Nellie Tier Baby

Bottom Balm + Baby Massage Oil

Calms skin and soothes irritation with herbal infusion and Vitamin E. thefabricofsociety.co.nz

Adams undies

Made in NZ from 95% cotton with an incredibly comfy four-way stretch. fannyadams.co.nz

5 best picture books

The New Zealand Book Awards for Children and Young Adults will take place on 10 August in Wellington! Win all five shortlisted picture books. Value: $105.96. nzbookawards.nz/new-zealand-bookawards-for-children-and-young-adults

WIN! Be in to 3x

FOLLOW US FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN @familytimes.co.nz

MadeFrom™ All Natural Vitamin C Gummies for Kids

2 copies of My Brain is Magic by Ana & Olivia

Meredith

Win one copy to treasure and one to give away, plus special wishing stones. mybrainismagic.com

An Articulate Gallery A4 Single

Frame

from Steleo

Get the children’s art off the fridge door and in its rightful place - in a frame, on the wall, in an instant! steleo.co.nz

Cassia at Home Spice

Blends, by chef Sid Sahrawat

Cook and experiment with new flavours at home – with this set of Garam Masala, Tandoori Spice Blend and Chaat Masala. cassiaathome.com

100% natural ingredients, free from harmful additives and no added sugar. Win a 2-month supply valued at $69.90. madefrom.co.nz

Abundance by Anna Valentine

Over 100 vegetarian recipes that are filling, healthy and packed with flavour. theveggietree.com

A Runna Mini from The Toy Box

This amazing lightweight bike starts off as a three-wheeled trike, which will get your toddler onto their first set of wheels. thetoybox.co.nz

5 finalists in the Young Adult Fiction Award

Celebrate the 2023 New Zealand Book Awards for Children and Young Adults! Prize pack includes the five Young Adult Fiction finalists. Value: $133.98. nzbookawards.nz/new-zealand-bookawards-for-children-and-young-adults

Time to connect and acknowledge

Journalist, television presenter and children’s author MIRIAMA KAMO talks to us about her difficult journey to motherhood, celebrating Matariki and why Ōtautahi will always be home.

Tell us about your journey to motherhood.

Of course, I was already a stepmother to my darling boy Sam. I’ve always been so grateful for my bonus baby and believe he made me a mum. As for biological children, I lost my first pregnancy, and it was devastating, but the next one took. That was my now 11-year-old, Te Rerehua. Having her cushioned the following four pregnancy losses, though each was painfully disappointing. My last pregnancy, by then my seventh, was very hard. We found out he was a wee boy. I so wanted another and am still wistful about it. But the arrival of my nephew Mānuka and his wee sister Keita was very healing. They, in fact, all my nieces and nephews, give me so much joy.

Tell us about your daughter and the impact she’s had on your life.

My girl is awesome. Man, she’s determined, knows her mind, is ready to argue, and always has a case. She keeps me on my toes, that’s for sure. And she’s funny! She makes me laugh, proud, frustrated, and admiring – she’s no wallflower, and I love that about her.

Was it hard balancing your career with motherhood when she was young?

Yes and no. I took her everywhere with me, even when (in fact, because) we had a nanny. I didn’t want to be apart from her, so our lovely nanny had to tag along, too. It was a very privileged position for me to be in, and I’m incredibly fortunate that I could make that happen. Having said that, the mother guilt is real.

What’s the best part about being a parent and the toughest?

Every day is filled with the best and worst moments. It’s the real, raw, uncut reality of parenthood. Nothing’s perfect, and who’d want it to be?

You were born in South Brighton, went to Aranui High School and studied at the University of Canterbury. Even though you live in Auckland now, is Ōtautahi still home for you?

Home will always be Ōtautahi. My mum lives in my favourite place in the world, just behind Banks Peninsula, and I get there as often as possible. I grew up on my Marae Rehua and Rāpaki, and I get to the latter as often as I can, especially since my Dad is in the urupā there.

Tell us about your children’s books and what Matariki means for you.

I didn’t know much about Matariki until I started writing about it. And the truth is, I’m still learning. I’m fortunate that I got to write Matariki Around the World with Professor Rangi Matamua (the godfather of Matariki) and learned a lot from him. The biggest thing is to stop, rest, eat, connect and acknowledge. Matariki is now my holiday focus, more important to me than Christmas celebrations (which I also love). So, I’ll go back to Ōtautahi to MC a massive Matariki feast called Tohunga Tumau. I’ll be back with whānau where I should be during Matariki. As I get older, ritual and connection and whānau are my focus. Matariki has become such a joyful part of my life. I hope that all New Zealanders embrace this especially Kiwi celebration.

We have a special Matariki bundle to give away: The Stolen Stars of Matariki and The Twin Stars of Matariki: Waitī and Waitā, by Miriama Kamo and illustrated by Zak Waipara, and MATARIKI Around the World: A Cluster of Stars, a Cluster of Stories, by Rangi Matamua and Miriama Kamo, with Isobel Te Aho-White. Follow us for your chance to win @familytimesnewzealand.