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Mahar, Tracy May, Marlo Miller, Jess Phillips, Michael M. Sinclair, Kelsey Walker, Chip Weiner, James Ostrand Music: Tampa Bay Blues Fest ........................... 40
Music Week ................................................... 42 SENIOR ACCOUNT
Today’s technology gives us the unique ability to stay connected with film lovers.
Music: review: Tampa Bay Blues Fest ........................... Concert ArticEXECUTIVES Monkeys ..........................40 42 Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda
Music ................................................... 42 The ListWeek .......................................................... 46 Concert review: Artic Monkeys ..........................AND 42 Movie reviews ..................................................... 63 MARKETING, PROMOTIONS
Tampa Theatre’s new virtual cinema series includes ‘Saint Frances,’ p. 31.
EVENTS DIRECTOR 46 TheWill ListAstrology .......................................................... Free ......................................... 64 Alexis Quinn Chamberlain
Movie ........................................................... reviews..................................................... 63 Puzzler 66 Nate Lamb, Liz MacLean, Daniel Nolan, Puzzler ........................................................... 66
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Paola Otero, Jason Rivera, Shomy Rodriguez, Savage Love ...................................................... 69 Abbey Turner
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EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa is a weekly newspaper covering public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum. They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.
Joe completely opened his ‘home’ to us.
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Tampa Bay’s restaurant workers are stepping up to help each other, p. 22.
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CUT SHORT: Amanda LaForest’s art asks us to find joy, even when it’s seemingly ripped away from us.
Use your voice Being isolated doesn’t have to equal being alone. By Ray Roa
W
e’re moving through week three of “the after,” and if you’re like me, then you’re starting to feel lonely. Over the weekend, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay’s Digital Editor Colin Wolf—one of two remaining editorial staff here—shared that his three-year-old son wanted to build the CL office out of Duplo blocks. “We think we nailed it,” Wolf wrote on Instagram. I’m a firefighter in the scene, and four CL staffers laid off two weeks ago are depicted by Batman, a knight and a redhead. Only our super part-timer Kyla Fields, played by someone with pigtails, remotely resembles herself. “Plus, some asshole left the door open,” Wolf added. “Miss you guys.” Some turd did always manage to leave the door ajar in our office, but I’d love to be staring at that open door frame right now. I’d love to be staring at anything that isn’t the white wall in my makeshift office. But with cases of the coro navirus rapidly on the rise in Florida, it’s never been more important to stay the fuck away from each other (and that doesn’t mean going on a boat or heading to the Redneck Riviera, people). But being isolated doesn’t have to equal being alone, and so many of the stories and photos in this issue are about using your voice to not just communicate with one another, but to make a difference. Sure, some of those speaking are using their voice for evil (read: Tampa pastor Rodney Howard-Browne, who filled his megachurch and potentially exposed thousands to coronavirus on Sunday), but for the most part, folks are using their voices in the hopes that it can uplift and heal a community. There’s Current Initiative’s Jason Sowell, whose Laundry Project is paying to wash the clothes of working class families and laid off hospitality workers. In Seminole Heights, and across Tampa Bay, restaurateurs are not just
helping each other, but laid off front and back of house staff members looking for a meal. Elsewhere, a Vietnamese immigrant is one of a handful of our neighbors donating personal protective equipment to hospital workers looking at a dangerous shortage of it. At Bandit Coffee Co. in St. Petersburg, co-founder Sarah Weaver wrote a letter to the boss—her customers and neighbors—then asked them to please figure out how to better isolate themselves. And in the theater, Stageworks’ Karla Hartley spoke about what it feels like to see the shows not go on. Longtime Bay area songwriter Shawn Kyle even admitted that his biggest concerns aren’t even about music right now. Then there’s this week’s cover. Photographer and musician Dave Decker shared some drone photos of downtown Tampa. The snaps spoke to me, but I was also going back and forth with artist Amanda LaForest (AKA The Peach Moon) about doing an online gallery of work she has available. CL asked her to illustrate Decker’s drawing in her trademark style. She traded her normal beachy palette for a peaceful tone; the change is fitting for these times. LaForest—like so many photographers, writers and artists who’ve reached out to CL in the last two weeks— quickly made it known that she wasn’t interested in collecting a fee for her work this time. So we agreed to donate the money to a local artist who solely relies on their art for income. Looking at a downtown skyline from so far away does make me feel alone. Only see ing my co-workers in chat bubbles makes it worse. Having to tell my parents that they can’t visit their four-month old grandson anymore is heartbreaking. But this distance is necessary to help stop the spread of a disease that’s killed 77 people in Florida and 3,173 in the U.S. as of Tuesday afternoon. And those voices in the community are just as vital. So thanks to all of you using your voices, and your powers, to not just let us know that you’re here, but that you’re here for all of Tampa Bay. And unless you’re a crazy preacher trying to still have church in please, please don’t ever shut up.
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n recent weeks, the mantra of Tampa Bay nonprofit Current Initiatives has pivoted to “Do what you can,” and the group is putting the thought into action by paying for the laundry of families and hospitality workers whose lives have been affected by the coronavirus pandemic. Here’s one installment of the Laundry Project at Big Wash West Tampa. More information on the initiative is available via cltampa.com and give.classy.org/covidlp. See more pictures via photos. cltampa.com or by following JLat Photography (@jlat_photo7). —Ray Roa
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INFORMED DISSENT POLITICS
ISSUES
OPINION
What stage of capitalism is this?
OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE PHOTO BY SHEALAH CRAIGHEAD
Sorry, gramps, the market needs you to die By Jeffrey Billman
T
he day we learned the American job market had lost 3.3 million jobs in a week, the Dow gained 1,300 points on news that the Senate had reached a deal on a $2 trillion coronavirus rescue package. Sure, the stock market isn’t the economy. But the dissonance is jarring. As large as it is, the bill Congress passed last week probably won’t avoid a recession. The hole is that deep—and it’s compounded by the fact that the U.S. is the only developed country where health care access is largely tied to employment, and millions of people are now unemployed amid a fast-spreading, increasingly deadly pandemic. Last Thursday, the U.S. eclipsed 1,000 coronavirus deaths. On Friday, just eight days after documenting coronavirus case 10,000, we became the first country to log number 100,000. On Saturday, we exceeded 2,000 deaths. The government’s foremost infectious disease expert said on Sunday that he expects between 100,000 and 200,000 deaths. (Trump, who a month ago promised to quickly eradicate the coronavirus, said that would mean he’d done a “very good job.” Goalposts, moved.) Keeping fatalities at even that level will require measures at odds with the president’s other goal: restarting the economy as quickly as possible. Last week, he floated relaxing the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s social distancing guidelines to “reopen” the country by Easter Sunday, April 12. Three days after that, according to a new model from the University of Washington’s Institute of Health Metrics and Evaluation, the coronavirus crisis will peak nationwide,
THE CURE: Donald J. Trump is only part of a really big problem. with nearly 2,300 deaths projected on April 15 alone. (This model predicts 82,141 deaths through July 15, assuming that the country maintains strict social distancing practices until the summer.) Perhaps with that peak in mind, Trump reconsidered. He announced on Sunday that he’d keep the current guidelines in place through April 30. The president’s desire to kickstart the economy is understandable. Nothing snuffs out reelection campaigns quite like a recession. As good as Trump’s recent polls have been—48% approval in Fox News and Washington Post/ ABC News surveys, 45% in a Pew Research poll, all personal bests—maintaining that perch will become more difficult the longer this morass drags on. This push-pull tension between economic health and public health has created two overlapping phenomena, both taking their cues from Trump’s primal impulse to downplay the latter to boost the former. The first is denial—a spectrum of COVID19 Truthers, from Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves, who overrode local stay-at-home orders by declaring nearly all businesses “essential,”
“COVID-19 might kill a lot of people, but that’s the price of a flourishing economy.”
and who says his critics “don’t like the fact that I’m a conservative and I’m willing to pray”; to a contingent of Trump supporters who attack scientists and deny the crisis is all that bad, alleging that it’s instead part of a mediahyped deep-state conspiracy to bring down the president. The second is a sort of free-market nihilism—the people who say that, sure, COVID-19 might kill a lot of people, but that’s the price of a flourishing economy. The most prominent is Texas’s lieutenant governor, Dan Patrick, who told Tucker Carlson last Monday that he would gladly die for capitalism, and he expected that most other 70-somethings would do likewise: “No one reached out to me and said, ‘As a senior citizen, are you willing to take a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the America that America loves for its children and grandchildren?’ And if that is the exchange, I’m all in.” Patrick was pilloried (by everyone except Brit Hume, that is). But his real crime was saying the subtext aloud. There’s always a tradeoff between capitalism and public health, and capitalism usually wins. (We still have coal-fired power plants, for example.) Capitalism’s benefits tend to be immediate (cheap energy!), while the problems it causes are
more abstract (how do we know climate change made last year’s hurricanes worse?). But the coronavirus is different. We know it could kill 100,000 people if we do everything right, and many times that if we don’t. We also know that by doing the hard part now, we can spare ourselves much more pain down the road. Knowing that and nonetheless advocating that we cast aside measures that will save the lives of not only our grandparents but of our friends with diabetes and our coworkers with high blood pressure and our neighbors who are cancer survivors to boost our fortunes and our 401Ks or to win an election—that takes a special kind of callousness. Dan Patrick, after all, had drawn inspiration directly from Donald Trump, who’d tweeted earlier that day: “WE CANNOT LET THE CURE BE WORSE THAN THE PROBLEM ITSELF.” Trump, it seems, had only been restrained by the bad optics of relaxing restrictions and cheering on American commerce while hospitals were overflowing with corpses. So please tell me: What stage of capitalism is this? @jeffreybillman
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A Tampa pastor follows through on a threat and puts thousands at risk. By Colin Wolf
R
odney Howard-Browne is a Tampa megachurch pastor who said he’d cure coronavirus just like he did with Zika, and on Friday, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay reported about his announced plans to continue holding services at his church during the coronavirus pandemic because his church is very sterile. The conservative preacher and evangelical leader posted a recent video, which was captured by watchdog publication Right Wing Watch, claiming that his church will not close, despite federal and local recommendations to limit large gatherings. “The Lord has helped us to secure our congregation,” says Howard-Browne, head pastor at The River Tampa Bay Church. “We brought in 13 machines that basically kill every virus in the place, and uh, if somebody walks through the door it’s like, it kills everything on them. If they sneeze, it shoots it down at like 100 mph. It’ll neutralize it in split seconds. We have the most sterile building in, I don’t know, all of America.” This actually isn’t the first time HowardBrowne publicly announced that his church will stay open during the pandemic. Speaking to his congregation on March 17, Howard-Browne said, “We are not stopping anything. I’ve got news for you, this church will never close. The only time the church will close is when the rapture is taking place.” He added that “this has to be the safest place. If you cannot be saved in church, you’re in serious trouble.” Howard-Browne—who routinely peddles wildly stupid conspiracy theories like how the Vegas shooting of 2017 was a false flag operation, and that chemtrails and weather manipulation are real—was one of a handful of evangelical pastors who famously prayed over Trump in the Oval Office. Last week, Hillsborough County announced an official “safer-at-home” order that started March 27 at 10 p.m. On top of recommendations from health officials, which include practicing social distancing at least six-feet apart and scaling back “non-essential” businesses, the county also announced an order limiting all gatherings to just 50 people, which includes churches. In a blog posted to Revival’s website on March 22, Howard-Browne claimed that government orders limiting public gatherings, along with the social distancing recommendations, are “arbitrary in nature,” and a “violation of the principle of
separation of church and state. " “There has been no tested nor proven scientific or medical data to show us what ‘number’ of people that congregate together are a danger to society,” wrote Howard-Browne. “The number has varied from place to place and moment by moment. Somewhere it’s 50, other places its 10 and there are still other variations. When politicians assign an ‘acceptable’ number of people allowed in a private church, they are reducing our right to Freedom of Religion to a first come, first served privilege.” If you’re wondering, Howard-Browne is incredibly wrong about the science of social distancing. It is in fact based on real science, and it does work. But thankfully, Howard-Browne and his congregation isn’t the norm. Most churches have closed their doors for worship services, switching instead to livestreams, and for good reason. On March 25, a Virginia pastor died from COVID-19 after saying “the media is pumping out fear,” and “doing more harm than good.” Last month, South Korean authorities announced that a Christian megachurch, believed to be a cult, was responsible for at least 2,000 COVID-19 cases in its region. The church founder, 84-year-old Lee Man-hee, has since apologized. On Sunday, despite stay-at-home orders from local and state officials, Howard-Browne did exactly what he said he was going to do for the past two weeks and held a packed service at his Tampa megachurch, potentially exposing thousands of his followers to the coronavirus. On Monday, the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office got involved by sending a statement to leaders at The River Tampa Bay Church. “The Sheriff’s Office has advised church leaders of the danger they are putting themselves and their congregation in by not maintaining appropriate social distancing at a time when COVID-19 cases are unfortunately still on the rise in Hillsborough County,” reads the statement. “Attorneys for the church are in direct contact with HCSO attorneys. We are working to determine how compliance can be achieved to keep the public safe under these extraordinary conditions, and we hope to resolve this matter quickly.” In the livestream of the service, HowardBrowne can be seen defending his decision to fill his church, telling his congregation that he
RODNEY HOWARD-BROWNE/YOUTUBE
Good lord
LOCAL NEWS
BROWNE-TOWN: Tampa megachurch pastor Rodney Howard-Browne appears to be full of shit.
deserves to be open because local liquor stores are open, and that more people have died from the flu. “You’re going to get coronavirus somewhere else, not here,” said Howard-Browne. Authorities did not say whether the church will continue holding services, even though the livestream video shows the church violating the county and state’s orders requiring gatherings be fewer than 10 people. Violations of this order are considered a second-degree misdemeanor, punishable by up to 60 days in jail, with a maximum fine of $500 or both, according to the Tampa Bay Times. Speaking at a press conference Monday afternoon, Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister said an arrest order for HowardBrown includes unlawful assembly and violation of public health emergency rules, and added that, “Our goal is not to stop people from worshiping… but the safety and well-being of our community must always come first.” “It’s a shame that someone has taken advantage of this. For whatever reason, I just don’t understand it,” added Chronister. “The only reason I can see is it’s a reckless reason—to put your parishioners in jeopardy.” Howard-Browne has claimed that his church is an essential business, and that orders for him to shut down violate his First Amendment rights. “The River Tampa Bay Church has an advantage over most places of worship,” said
Chronister, “as they have access to technology allowing them to live stream their services over the internet and broadcast television for more than their 4,000 members to watch from the safety from their own homes. Instead they encouraged people to come and gather at the church, even provided bus transportation for the services. “As a sheriff’s office we would never impede on a person’s religious beliefs as a means of comfort. But practicing those beliefs has to be done safely,” added Chronister. State Attorney Andrew Warren was also in attendance at Monday’s press conference, and stated that it’s unfortunate that the pastor is hiding behind the first amendment. “One it’s absolutely clear that emergency orders like this are clear and constitutional and valid,” said Warren. “Second of all, leaders from our faithbased community from across have embraced the importance of social distancing. They’ve encouraged their congregations to practice social distancing for their own health and to slow the spread of COVID-19.” After his arrest CL Tampa Bay reported that Liberty Counsel chairman Mathew Staver, a guy who once said the “Q” in LGBTQ stands for “pedophilia," will represent Howard-Browne in court.
“The only time the church will close is when the rapture is taking place.”
cltampa.com | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | 13
Tampa Bay Times furloughs staff, cuts print edition, amid coronavirus outbreak.
GOOGLE MAPS
Part-Times By Ray Roa
S
queeze your newspaper a little tighter. Amid the fallout surrounding the worldwide coronavirus outbreak, The Tampa Bay Times paper is temporarily reducing print publication frequency to twice a week starting next week. “The change is in direct response to the unprecedented fallout from the coronavirus as businesses cancel retail and event-related advertising and close or severely curtail operations to slow the spread of the virus,” a Monday release from Times spokesperson Sherri Day said. Wednesday and Sunday are the Times’ largest circulation days, according to the release, which added that the Times earns the majority of its revenue through print advertising. “Ad sales are running down about 50%. We expect this plan to make up roughly half of that gap,” Times CEO and Chairman Paul Tash said in a Q&A with the Poynter Institute, which owns the Times. Tash is also the Chairman of Poynter’s board of trustees “At that rate, we can tough things out for a few months. If things get worse, or if the crisis goes on indefinitely, we’ll have to reconsider our approach,” he told Poynter. In a Monday morning phone call with Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, Tash said, “I do not remember another time when we ever suspended publication in print even for a day.” An eight-week furlough for some staffers whose work has been impacted by the virus’ effect on the economy is also being implemented. Tash told Poynter that the furloughed staffers do not come from the newsroom and that “those who are on our insurance plan can maintain their coverage if they keep paying their part of the premiums.” Tash told CL that he does not entirely know how many employees at the Times printer are affected by the furlough because supervisors there are still building out their crews. “... events are moving quickly, but my estimate is that it will be more than 50,” Tash told CL. “These are extraordinary times. And so we are taking some extraordinary measures now, I would say." “We have a much greater capacity to deliver news to people, electronically than we’ve ever had before. And so that gives us some alternatives that we would not have had previously in
TIMEOUT: The Tampa Bay Times’ new, bi-weekly print schedule is only temporary. the 45 years I’ve been around the St. Petersburg and now the Tampa Bay Times.” The news comes after a recent round of noncoronavirus-related layoffs plus a temporary 10% pay cut for Times full-time staffers. That pay cut is expected to end on June 5. Tash told CL that the Times newsroom is still home to more than 100 journalists. “We don’t plan furloughs in news,” Tash told Poynter. “Our purpose is to keep the news report strong. We have shifted reporters to other assignments. For now, everybody is covering the coronavirus.” Tash added that the Times began looking at reducing print two weeks ago. As far as feedback from print subscribers who obviously have a ton of questions, Tash told Poynter that the Times is “about to find out” about that. Tash
LOCAL NEWS
14 | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | cltampa.com
explained that the Times is not altering prices as asking subscribers to recognize that, “1) they are still getting all the journalism, and 2) these are extraordinary and, one hopes, temporary circumstances.” Last month, Tash took a 15% pay cut along with three other executives. CL asked if further pay cuts at the executive or staff level have been discussed. “Today’s news is for today, OK. We think that we are navigating as best we can, through this uncharted territory, and we’ll take stock of how this goes later,” Tash told CL. “I’m not very good at predicting the future. As it turns out, because a month ago I would not have foreseen this happening.”
The move made the Times the first metro in the U.S. to take this step. “These next several weeks will teach us a lot. In some ways, we are field-testing the future,” Tash told Poynter. While CL is an alt-weekly that hits stands on Thursdays, we have also been hit hard by the coronavirus fallout. Two weeks ago, CL laid off seven of 12 fulltime staffers, leaving myself and Digital Editor Colin Wolf in the newsroom along with Publisher James Howard, Senior Sales Executive Anthony Carbone and Marketing & Events Coordinator Alexis Chamberlain. And yes, we're asking for help, too.
“I do not remember another time when we ever suspended publication in print even for a day.”
ADOBE
PUBLIX HEALTH: It’s even scary going grocery shopping these days.
Public opinion
People resort to online petitions to amplify voices. By James Bennett III and Kaylynn Mullins
A
n online petition is calling for Gov. Ron DeSantis and the Florida State Senate to “shutdown Florida” to deter the spread of COVID-19.The petition has been gaining traction; by March 27, it already had over 320,000 signatures. According to the website, the petition was created by a Winter Haven resident named Julio Torres. “Florida Governor Ron Desantis our family are in risk, please SHUT DOWN Florida. Around 100 Florida residents are infected everyday,” says the petition. The description is also written in Spanish on the petition’s website. DeSantis has been widely criticized for not calling for a statewide stay-in-place order, and opting to let local governments fend for themselves. “In this moment of growing uncertainty and anxiety, Floridians want—and deserve— to hear from the public health officials leading the charge,” said former Vice President and Democratic presidential primary front-runner Joe Biden earlier last week. “To get through this, we need our leaders to listen to the public health experts and their guidance. The stakes are too high to wait any longer. Florida Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Fried also said DeSantis’ “piecemeal approach” throughout the state has confused people. Last week, according to the Florida Department of Health, 2,765 Florida residents had tested positive for the disease and 35 people had died as a result of COVID-19. Also last week, Lakeland-based grocer giant Publix announced that an employee has tested positive for COVID-19. An online petition, titled “Give Publix Employees Hazard Pay,” is circulating, and it calls for a major change in the
company’s pay policy. “During this national emergency, Publix is making record profit,” wrote the creator of the campaign, whose name is simply written as K P. “Publix should pay all employees time and a half to compensate for any health-related expenses that may come up during the COVID19 pandemic.” The petition called for 500 signatures, and had 407 at the time of writing this. Grocery stores have been deemed as “essential” places that must remain open under a “stay-at-home” order—which went into effect for Hillsborough County on March 27—meaning that Publix employees cannot stay home unless they “exhibit cold symptoms,” according to Maria Brous, a Publix communication director. If that happens, they cannot return to work for 72 hours, said Brous. However, a recent New York Times article said that Publix has an estimated 89,000 employees without paid sick leave. Creative Loafing Tampa Bay recently spoke with Publix employees, who say they’ve been sent home for wearing face masks because they might “scare away customers.” One employee, who wished to remain anonymous, said he was personally told by a manager not to wear gloves on the floor. Some people are scared, said the employee, adding that many associates have since quit over coronavirus concerns. Employees have, however, been compensated with $50 gift cards. Last Wednesday, Publix announced that it would install plexiglass barriers at registers, customer service desks and pharmacies. The company added that these barriers will take up to two weeks to install at company locations.
CIVICS
“During this national emergency, Publix is making record profit.”
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DIAMOND LE
Nailed it
Immigrant from Tampa among those donating face masks and shields during coronavirus pandemic. By Ray Roa
I
n the absence of sound leadership from the White House and Tallahassee, Hillsborough and Pinellas counties are begging for donations of medical supplies, specifically masks and face shields. Thankfully, our neighbors and friends are stepping up. In Tampa, Andrew Watson’s Built furniture and fixture shop (stylized “BUILT”) tasked his 3-D printers with making biodegradable face masks until Built runs out of filament. It takes three hours to print one; all the mask is missing is a N-95 insert. “The 3-D printed body can be reused daily as long as they’re sterilized, and the filters can be changed out as necessary” Watson said in a statement, “offering protection for weeks instead of hours." Built Director of Business Development Melissa Vu Keene told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that, so far, around 30 masks have shipped across Florida, to New York, California and Kentucky. Built is bringing in two more printers to double production. “Rolls of decent PLA are around $36 and can be purchased on Amazon. People can buy rolls and send them to us or donate money towards filament,” she added. “Right now we're printing the masks for free. If people donate filament we'll keep printing!” Across the Bay, St. Petersburg College (SPC) Humanities and Fine Arts Chair Jonathan Barnes is using 3D printing technology to create face shields for healthcare workers concerned about the inevitable shortage of personal protective equipment (PPE) in the face of COVID-19, the respiratory disease caused by the novel coronavirus. The virus is believed to be more contagious than the flu. A release from SPC said Barnes started using his personal 3D printer to create the face shields when he learned a friend was looking for face protection for his job as an emergency room physician in Ocala. “Barnes soon realized he needed backup to increase production,” the college wrote. So SPC let him take two printers home, and now he can make six shields every four hours. So far, Barnes has donated more than 30 shields to
doctors in Clearwater, Orlando, St. Petersburg, Ocala and Sarasota. He even sent some all the way to Baltimore. “It seems like the right thing to do. Those people are the front line heroes going into battle without proper equipment," Barnes said. Another local hero, Nga Pham, has already donated 12,000 medical grade masks to local hospitals. Pham, who owns Premier Nail Bar located at 13875 W. Hillsborough Ave. in between Westchase and Oldsmar, remembers her family’s struggles when they arrived in the U.S. from Vietnam in May of 1997 in search of a better life, more opportunity, and freedom. “The government helped us by giving us food and a place to live. We were always grateful for what the citizens of the U.S. have done for our family. And not just my family, but for many other immigrant families as well,” Pham told CL. “America is such a great country where the citizens go above and beyond to help others because of their love for their country. That’s why I am forever grateful and want to always express my gratitude to America. We’re in this together.” Together with friends, family and co-workers Vanessa Le and Julie Nguyen, Pham is connecting with local health workers and getting the word out about her trying to do her part. She also expressed gratitude for the doctors, first responders and healthcare workers risking their lives to help others. Her masks are obviously limited, but she’s encouraged facilities in need to message the nail salon through Facebook. “Giving and helping others is all part of my Vietnamese culture. I was taught by my biological parents and my in-laws that we need to do whatever we can to help others and the community,” Pham said. “We just want to let people know that the Vietnamese community is here to support.” “I teach my kids all the time that sharing is caring. That’s why we want to give back something to help America,” she added. “That’s the very least we can do for everyone now and we are very happy and honored that we can help.”
GOOD SHIT
“Giving and helping others is all part of my Vietnamese culture.”
PHAM-ILY: Nga Pham (R) with her husband Tam Pham (L), son Kadan Pham and daughter Adalyn Pham.
cltampa.com | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | 17
Channelside couple films Carnival cruise line love note to Tampa. By Ray Roa
C
ruise ships obviously aren’t on the water much these days, and one Carnival crew stuck in the Port of Tampa while the coronavirus wreaks havoc on our lives has a message for Tampa Bay: “We will be back <3” You can see the note—spelled out using cabin and balcony lights—in video captured by local filmmaker Ben Bradley and his wife Alessa Bradley, who does freelance social media management for a handful of local Tampa businesses. The couple has been shooting videos together for clients for a year and a half; Ben’s been doing it for nearly a decade. They just canceled twoyear anniversary plans in Hawaii due to the coronavirus. “My wife and I captured this video on our DJI Mavic 2 Pro last night—from our condo’s balcony, #socialdistancing while still creating!.” Ben, who owns Right Hand Films told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “We’ve been staying indoors as much as possible, but are really enjoying spending time together and getting creative with creative things to do around the house.” Cruise ships stay in the headlines as the coronavirus sweeps across the world. Last week, two Costa Cruises ships anchored near the port of Miami with ill crew members on board. A spokesperson for Costa Cruises parent company Carnival told USA Today that the vessels received permission from port and health officials to anchor and have sent boats to shore. And as WFTS pointed out, there’s one Florida couple stuck on cruise ship with dozens of sick passengers, that’s scheduled to dock in Ft. Lauderdale. Ben, who works in Tampa and out-of-state, told CL that the fallout from the coronavirus has been pretty shocking on the business side of his life. “We lost three booked video projects to conference cancellations and lack of safety in air travel… it’s been a tough turn of events for us,” he said. He is, however, making the most of his new time off. “I’m working on an online video course teaching people my method for creating videos, and I’ve also started putting my archived footage up on for sale on stock footage sites. So we are
C/O BEN AND ALESSA BRADELY
Love, boat
adapting and not letting this hold us back,” Bradley added. “It was great to create this video in light of mostly negative news about coronavirus. Glad to bring a little positivity to our city.” Vance Gulliksen, PR manager for Carnival Corporation, told CL that the message is appearing on all Carnival ships in port or anchored where visible from land starting March 26. “The ‘We Will Be Back’ message is meant to uplift spirits and serve as a reminder that cruising creates a lifetime of wonderful vacation memories,” Gulliksen wrote, adding that Carnival is taking part in the industry-wide pause in operation. “Illuminating ships with messages was a little tricky but fun at the same time, according to Stefan Christoffersson, Carnival’s vice president of housekeeping who is part of the team that worked on the project,” Gulliksen added. After reviewing deck plans for each of the company’s ships to determine which staterooms will spell out this hopeful message, shipboard teams had to physically turn on the lights of hundreds of staterooms. “All without knowing what the finished product would look like,” Gulliksen wrote. “In the end, it’s very similar to turning on your Christmas tree once you’re done decorating and seeing how it all turned out,” Christoffersson said, noting that overall these highly synchronized projects are going off without a hitch. “We haven’t had one ‘We’ll Be Bock’ or ‘We’ll Be Buck.’” “The crew takes a great deal of pride in their jobs and this project in particular has extra important meaning to them," Christoffersson added. "More than anything our crew members want everyone to know that they are doing well and can’t wait to get back to the business of creating memories,” “[This was] a process that took coordination between Carnival’s Miami headquarters and ships docked in ports along the East and West Coasts, Gulf of Mexico, Southern California and Australia or anchored at sea.” See the video, and read more about the project via cltampa.com/arts.
LOCAL NEWS
“Glad to bring a little positivity to our city.”
18 | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | cltampa.com
HOLD TIGHT: The Bradley family saw its freelance income fizzle away last week.
Shit Happened WEDNESDAY 25
Tampa Bay businesses launch websites, needaroll.com and donatearoll.com, to get free toilet paper to senior citizens. Because who needs universal healthcare when all you can think about is not having to wipe your ass with coffee filters anymore.
THURSDAY 26
Florida colleges may offer students passfail grades during the coronavirus outbreak. Grading options would include pass/fail, satisfactory/unsatisfactory, or the traditional grade-point average. The nerd fixing to graduate summa cum laude is piiiiiiissssed.
FRIDAY 27
Hillsborough County’s “safer-at-home” order officially goes into effect after a week-long discussion by the Emergency Policy Group. That’s cool, and all, but our Instagram story feeds are still filled with pics of people on boats and partying on Gandy Boulevard’s Redneck Riviera.
MONDAY 30
Tampa Bay Times furloughs some nonnewsroom staff and temporarily cuts print edition to just Wednesdays and Sundays, amid coronavirus outbreak. So now Tampa Bay citizens get to read a bi-weekly and altweekly. Believe it or not, a web-version of both our papers does exist. Notorious bigot Mat Staver will represent Tampa pastor Rodney Howard-Browne who was arrested for holding services during the coronavirus outbreak. Staver is probably most well-known for representing Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to gay people back in 2015. The worst Florida men ever. Way too much shit is happening every day, but Colin keeps writing about it via cltampa.com/ news. Save a tree, and join us there.
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cltampa.com | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | 19
SARAH WEAVER
RESTAURANTS
RECIPES
DINING GUIDES
CENTRAL COMMAND: The street outside Bandit hasn’t changed, but the scenery has.
For you
Founder of St. Petersburg’s Bandit Coffee Co. has a message for her boss.
I
By Sarah Weaver started a new job this week. This is my new desk. I call this my command center. It’s a low-key traffic control kind of situation. I process orders, answer phones, and text our customers when we have a pick-up station assigned to them. I do my best to keep everyone distanced, cycle through the table rotation (feels like a throwback to my restaurant hosting days). Then we sanitize and repeat. I hope my boss is pleased with this work. My boss is you. All of you. Our community. You allow this work to happen and continue. We’re doing all of this for you, as well as to keep our team going as long as we can. We’re figuring out new systems on the fly to keep you safe and provide you with your favorites. Sure, these things aren’t necessarily live-giving, but to hopefully give you a taste of life as normal, in a time when all is anything but normal. Even if stay at home orders are enacted, we’re still considered an essential business. We take this privilege very seriously. We’ve added quarts of soup, loaves of bread, and other pantry provisions to our offerings.
Comforts of beer, wine, coffee, kombucha, CBD sparkling water, and cookies are a simple but treasured luxury these days. And all the while, your support from your purchases keeps a small business like ours going for as long as possible, and supporting our staff who also want to keep going for as long as possible. Just over two and a half weeks ago, our café was filled with the bustling energy of our regulars, neighbors, visitors, and close friends. We have the joy of seeing most all of our close friends every day. The staff across the street at Casita and Baba are regular figures at our bar. Now, both businesses are indefinitely closed. Our once bustling corner of Central and 27th is quiet. Our mornings used to be filled with hugs and high fives. I realize not everyone gets to see their best friends every single morning, every single day, but what a joy that was, and gosh, I took it for granted. Now, we touch fingers on opposite sides of glass, yelling “I LOVE YOU” and watch them take their drinks from a table in the parking lot, a good ten feet from the door. And after, we sanitize. Treating your friends like carriers of a deadly pathogen is the worst, but it’s exactly how we should all be acting right now. I don’t interact with humans beyond our team and my partner through it all, my husband, Joshua. I haven’t seen my mom in 37 days. Josh and I are working 7 days a week. All that wish to continue to work with us, for all the hours we can give right now (2 shifts, 8-2 daily), they
COFFEE
20 | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | cltampa.com
have been socially isolating with their households for at least 12 days now. I’m thankful for their sacrifices and dedication, but we’re a great team because we’ve ALWAYS gathered here for a mutually shared goal - to show up and to serve our community. As I type this, my knuckles are slowly splitting and stinging. My hands and wrists are chapped, covered in a red, tight rash. Contact dermatitis, I’m told by Facebook groups with other food service workers who remain serving. I’ve yet to count, but I would bet I wash my hands nearly 100 times a day. I’m not complaining. It’s a very small sacrifice for a greater good. I still act as though I’m a carrier of something deadly. It’s the worst. But it’s all how we should be acting right now if we’re not quarantined at home 24 hours a day. I’m not a life saver. I’m not a healthcare professional. But this is one of the few times in my career that our decisions as individuals and as shop owners, can potentially benefit the greater public health. Or cause widespread harm. If you’re an essential (or non-essential) business owner that’s still in operation - how can you create new systems for no contact and maximum safety? It’s time to challenge ourselves. Let’s rewrite our job descriptions. We’re no longer selling goods. We’re currently in the business of either doing good for our communities and staff, or otherwise risking harm for all.
Please write to your local and state leaders if you feel like they’re not doing enough to protect us. The collective us. If they’re not closing enough places, if they’re not making the language clear enough for mass cooperation. So many harm prevention measures currently lie in the hands of our elected officials. And that’s terrifying to me. Do your part, and then write to your leaders, since others unfortunately won’t do their part. Be the squeaky wheel. Please also encourage your local businesses to enact contactless pickup and/or delivery (coming VERY soon for us) if you see them still letting folks inside their spaces or taking face-to-face orders. My hot take: if you’re not going to do this right for all, please don’t do it at all. We have the technology to make this work if we get creative and innovative. I love my community, our team, and this chapter of my life with my whole heart. We can rebuild our businesses. We can rebuild everything we know and love. We cannot rebuild the health of others. — Editor’s note: Sarah Weaver is the co-founder of St. Petersburg’s Bandit Coffee Co., which has been serving the neighborhood since 2015. The shop is one of many local businesses hustling to keep doors open and create some sense of community, and continuity, as the coronavirus wreak havoc on our daily lives.
“We cannot rebuild the health of others.”
cltampa.com | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | 21
Doom and gloom with a side of hopefulness. By Ray Roa
T
ake it from someone who’s been ass deep in coronavirus-related headlines for three weeks: Most of the news is dreadful. Last Friday, The Pew Research Center wrote that restaurants workers are at a higher risk of losing their jobs during the COVID-19 crisis along with folks in industries such as hotels, child care services, retail trade and transportation services. “Nearly one-in-four U.S. workers—38.1 million out of 157.5 million—are employed in the industries most likely to feel an immediate impact from the COVID-19 outbreak,” Pew’s analysis concluded. “Among the most vulnerable are workers in retail trade (10% of all workers) and food services and drinking places (6%). In total, these two industries employ nearly 26 million Americans.” It’s stomach-churning, to be honest, but there are glimmers of hope, too, and a lot of it is coming out of the restaurant industry itself. Take the Columbia for example. The Ybor City staple closed doors on its legendary establishment last month. Columbia’s other properties—including Ulele, Cha Cha Coconuts and Goody Goody—all shuttered, leaving 1,400 employees furloughed. Fourth-generation Columbia caretaker Richard Gonzmart called the move the absolute right thing to do. “As hard as this is, it’s the only way forward. With drastic measures now, we’ll be able to reopen and come back strong,” Gonzmart said in a statement. “Fortunately, we have history, experience and resources that will help us get through this. At the Columbia, we have survived World War I and II, Prohibition, the Depression, Urban Renewal and we’ll survive this, too, by making tough decisions now. We look forward to welcoming you back once this medical crisis passes.” But with 90% of the company’s workers without a job, Gonzamart had to do something. That’s why 100% of money from gift card purchases before the end of April will go to the Columbia Restaurant Group Employee Assistance Fund. The fund is a pool of money that will be provided to employees at all the company’s brands. During the same period, for any purchase of $500 in gift cards, the company is adding another $50 to the buyer’s order. Gonzmart—who forfeited his salary and returned his ownership check that represented the success the company enjoyed in 2019—also pledged to pay full health benefits for
COLUMBIA RESTAURANT GROUP
Foodie feels
PACK LEADERS: Andrea Gonzmart Williams (R) and Steve Stella pack meals on March 30 at the Columbia in Ybor City. all furloughed employees until at least through April. “The last thing you need to worry about right now is your health coverage,” he wrote to staff members on Monday. Columbia also started providing pre-prepared staff-only meals for pickup in Ybor, according to a release, which added that meals for staff at other locations are planned in coming weeks at restaurant locations in Sarasota, Sand Key in Clearwater, Celebration and St. Augustine. “We will overcome this, as a business, as a city, as a country and as a world,” Gonzamart added. “And when we do, I think it will be a kinder, gentler place to live. I promise we will celebrate together when we overcome this unprecedented challenge.” But Gonzmart isn’t the only restaurateur stepping up for the industry. Bake’n Babes—located at Tampa Heights’ temporarily-closed Hall On Franklin—is feeding free pasta meals to laid off restaurant workers. In St. Petersburg, from 12 p.m.-2 p.m. daily,
FOOD NEWS
22 | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | cltampa.com
Gratzzi Italian Grille is serving laid off workers a full meal including salad, fresh bread and an entree. In Seminole Heights, King of the Coop’s Joe Dodd extended a hand to Empamamas owner Stephanie Swanz, who saw her 17 employees’ livelihoods cut off when Armature Works closed its doors. “He called and said, ‘Hey I have two kitchens, I’m not using one of them right now and it’s all yours if you need it.’ Joe completely opened his ‘home’ to us and I cannot even begin to fathom how thankful I am for that,” Swanz told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. Now Empamamas is on UberEats and running an online store. “I’m fully committed to building from the bottom up so I can bring one employee back at a time. I may have been the one with the dream and the vision, but they are what makes our world go round and round and Empamamas needs each and every one of them.” Down the road, three Proper House Group concepts—Rooster & the Till, Nebraska
Mini-Mart and Gallito—have come together under Rooster’s roof. Two weeks ago, chef Ferrell Alvarez and his partners laid off 41 employees. His new operation, “Rooster Re-Dux” opened with just 11 managers. Since then, he’s hired back 11 more workers for a total of 22 employees. What’s more is that the concept teamed up with two customers who wanted to remain anonymous to introduce a “For Forks Sake” initiative. A medical fund was also created by customer AJ General. “For Forks Sake offers a free meal to those on the front lines of this battle, as well as to those who might be struggling with income in the service industry,” Proper House Group wrote. “If you’re a medical worker, or hospitality worker, you can call in and get a meal on us (up to $20), just provide your proof of employment or medical ID.” The group is taking donations to help grow the fund to feed and take care of those workers. “Our world has been handed plenty of uncertainty lately, but one thing that is known,” Proper House added. “Kindness conquers.”
“Kindness conquers.”
CL’s most recently reviewed restaurants Parlor House Bistro Chef Ryan Steffensmeier’s new French restaurant is a cozy addition to the Dunedin scene. Entrees deliver classic bistro dishes in fine form. The super tender filet mignon has a perfectly-charred crust plus delightful green peppercorn cognac cream sauce with Lyonnaise potatoes and surprisingly full-flavored confit carrots with grill marks 1757 Main St., Dunedin. parlorhousebistro.com
HHH½
Counter Culture James Beard-nominated chef Jeannie Pierola has outdone herself with her latest concept, Counter Culture, in Tampa. Our critic gushes over the menu and decor, while marveling at Pierola’s attention to detail. According to JPC, you’re safe ordering anything, but make sure to start with the tuna tartare appetizer, which he says is simply perfection. 2909 W. Bay to Bay no. 100, Tampa. cc-tampa.com
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Olivia Chef Chris Ponte’s latest venture (pictured below) is an upscale Italian trattoria in South Tampa showing the care and thoughtfulness of a chef at the top of his game. An all-star on the menu is the Bucatini, which leads your tastes buds on an tangled adventure filled with smoked guanciale nuggets from tender pork cheeks, and plenty of sharp black pepper for pungency to balance the creamy carbonara sauce. Be prepared for a wait, even with a reservation. 3601 W. Swann Ave., Tampa. oliviatampa.com
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Rox Rooftop Bar The most sweeping panoramic view of Tampa Bay of any watering hole in the region comes with carefully crafted cocktails at this indoor-outdoor bar. Along with the unparalleled views and splendid sips, the food matches the high standard with eats like a citrus grilled achiote shrimp taco topped with shreds of cabbage and pickled kohlrabi, plus some heat from jalapeño, and minced cilantro make for a flavorful combo. You’d need to be a pelican or osprey to get a better view. Current Hotel, 2545 N. Rocky Point Dr., Tampa. thecurrenthotel.com
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Old School Bar and Grill Stocked with TVs, giant Jenga and live music, this South Tampa restaurant serves classic bar food. If you’re a corndog fan, go for the six hand-dipped miniwagyu beef corn dogs the size of fat skewered golf balls. The juicy dogs have layered beefy flavor highlighted by corn batter that’s not at all grainy. 2202 W. Kennedy Blvd., Tampa. oldschoolbars.com
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Barterhouse Ybor City’s new show-stopper has a seasonal menu that focuses on approachable but elevated fare. The Fresh Florida fish (black grouper) wows, constructed of a luscious filet sitting on creamy cauliflower purée topped with shaved crisp Brussels sprouts and bacon surrounded by herb vinaigrette. A perfect quenelle of golden caper pistou with citrus adds a scrumptious grace note. 1811 N. 15th St., Suite A, Ybor City. barterhouseybor.com
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TAMPA'S URBAN FOOD SCENE IS HERE & NOW HAS FREE DELIVERY!
Jon Palmer Claridge is the Bay area’s longest running food critic and dines anonymously when reviewing. Visit cltampa.com/food to see an explanation of his rating system, his Top 50 Tampa restaurants of 2019 and read his new book, “Drink. More. Wine!”
MELISSA SANTELL
JUICE BAR DELICIOUS DELI BBQ ASIAN PHO TACO TRAIN ICE CREAM TREATS PIZZA COFFEE & PASTRIES FEATURING ROYAL PALACE THAI
ASK US ABOUT CATERING! 1500 W. CASS STREET • TAMPA
ON THE CORNER OF CASS & OREGON • PARDON THE CONSTRUCTION!
CALL & ORDER TODAY! 813-251-2721 cltampa.com | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | 23
Cooped up
Tampa Bay restaurants still offering takeout or delivery.
Multiple locations. burgerfi.com Bula Kavananda Takeout and delivery. Serving ultrahigh quality coffee, teas and botanical beverages. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 5803 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-444-5571. bulanation.
F
com
food to see the most updated and completely fleshed
7977. byblostampa.com
out version. Also, tip the shit out of the waitstaff if
Cafe Dufrain Takeout. Purchase $50 in take out and
you can, and don’t go on Yelp to complain. We’re all
receive a $10 gift card good for all three HI Restaurant
busting our asses off out here.
Group establishments: Cafe Dufrain, Watervue Grille
4 Rivers Smokehouse All locations have pop-up drive
and Cry Baby Cafe all on Harbour Island. 707 Harbour
thru and recently added limited grocery service. Orders
Post Dr., Tampa. 813-275-9701. cafedufrain.com
happening online, over the phone and via the 4 Rivers
Cafe Hey Take out. 15% off of call-in take out orders
app. 844-474-8377. 4rsmokehouse.com
over $50. Curbside pickup available. 1540 N. Franklin
Affordable Catering Takeout and delivery. Family-
St., Tampa. 813-221-5150. cafehey.com
style takeout menu available for 10 people or more.
Cask Social Kitchen Takeout and delivery. Special
Menu changes daily, and place orders by noon the
menu available. Kids eat free with purchase of each
day before. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery
adult meal on orders placed directly with the restaurant
available. 4108 Gunn Hwy., Tampa. 813-962-1525.
over the phone. Other eligible offers include 20% off
affordablecatering.net
total order (cannot be combined with other offers).
American Social The Harbour Island hotspot has
Delivery available through DoorDash and GrubHub.
family-style quarantine kits (sliders, BBQ, tacos,
Curbside pickup available. 208 S. Howard Ave., Tampa.
pizza, pasta), and is even selling a kid-friendly,
813-251-0051. casksocial.com
make your own pizza kit that comes with balls of
Cass St. Deli The NoHo, New York-style deli was already
dough, mozzarella, pepperoni, ham, and parmesan.
fighting construction in front of its doors, but the crew
601 S. Harbour Island Blvd., Tampa. 813-605-3333.
led by chef Suzanne Crouch keeps soldiering on with
americansocialbar.com/tampa
a bevy of short-distance delivery and curbside options
Bake’n Babes Delivery. Salted chocolate chip cookies
including meals for two, the family, vegans and even
sparkling Rey de Copas, and $40 for our ever-famous
received will be given to the staff out of work. 471 Main
and Sleazy Brownies on Ubereats. The concept has also
snack packs. Call from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. 1331 W. Cass
Prickly Pear mimosa, which includes OJ, a bottle of
St., Dunedin. 727-736-2227. thedunedinsmokehouse.com
been providing free meals for service industry workers.
St., Tampa. 813-609-6316. cassstreetdeli.com
sparkling Rey de Copas, Prickly Pear cactus candy,
Eddie V’s Enjoy the Eddie V’s experience at your home
Contactless delivery available. 1701 N. Franklin St.,
Ceviche Takeout. All cocktails and sangria available
and Prickly Pear syrup. Curbside pickup available. Use
with a new takeout menu, featuring Eddie V’s favorites
Tampa. 813-405-4008. bakenbabes.com
to-go. 25% off any bottle of wine and a free quart of
code HERE4U to receive 15% off your order. Multiple
and family-style dinners. Also available is a selection
Bandit Coffee Co. Orders accepted online and via phone
sangria with every take-out order of $25 or more. 10
locations. datz4foodies.com
of uncooked signature cuts of steak hand-carved and
only for contactless pickup from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. 2662
Beach Dr. NE, St. Petersburg. 727-209-2299. ceviche.
Dough Takeout and delivery. Freshly made doughnuts
packaged with signature steak seasoning prepared
Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-201-9140. banditstpete.
com
from the comfort of your own couch, plus over-the-top
as you wish. Free delivery. 4400 W. Boy Scout Blvd.,
square.site
Cider Press Cafe Takeout and delivery. Mini menu
cupcakes, cupcakes, buckeyes, brownies, and more.
Tampa. 813-877-7290. eddiev.com
Bella’s Italian Café The South Tampa staple is on
available. $30 takeout minimum. Buy 3 pastries, get
Coffee and ice cream available to go too. Add a toilet
Ella’s Americana Folk Art Café This Seminole Heights
DoorDash and operating a massive curbside pickup
4th free. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery
paper cake to your order for $30 for some laughs, or an
staple is slangin’ food, drink and booze. Delivery is
operation, which means you can add meatballs to your
available via Bite Squad. 601 Central Ave., St.
Easter Bunny ear cupcake to celebrate the upcoming
available via the Heights Citizen Bicycle Brigade,
confetti spaghetti—or make a carbonara food baby—
Petersburg. 727-914-7222. ciderpresscafe.com
holiday from home. Use code HERE4U to receive 15%
UberEats and GrubHub. A GoFundMe has also been
until the closures are lifted. 1413 S. Howard Ave.,
Clearwater Wine Bar & Bistro Takeout for curbside
off your pickup order. 2602 S. MacDill Ave., Tampa.
set up to help staff. 5119 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa.
Tampa. 813-254-3355. bellasitaliancafe.com
pickup. Female-owned family business offering a
813-902-1979 bestdoughnuts.com
813-234-1000. ellasfolkartcafe.com
BellaBrava Takeout and delivery. Take-out only special:
Mediterranean & Gourmet Mexican dishes. Full menu
Dr. BBQ Takeout and delivery. Dr. BBQ is still out here
Empamamas Stephanie Swanz, the matriarch of
buy one pasta dish, get a second free. Curbside pickup
available with 50% off all bottles of wine and beer,
smokin’ butts and makin’ cornbread. Quarantine Date
Armature Works’ Empamamas, was dealt a blow
and contactless delivery available. 204 Beach Dr. NE,
and $10 bottles of sangria. 482 Poinsettia Ave., North
Night Kits available for $70, featuring one bottle of
when the Tampa Heights food hall shut down amid
St. Petersburg. 727-895-5515. bellabrava.com
Beach Parking Plaza, First Floor, Clearwater Beach.
Nieto Senetiner Malbec, one wedge salad, shareable
coronavirus concerns. Her friend, Joe Dodd of King
Better Byrd Takeout and delivery. Family-sized (serves
727-446-8805. clearwaterwinebar.com
Hatch Chile Mac n’ Cheese, 4oz. pork brisket, 4oz.
of the Coop, stepped up to offer part of his kitchen,
8) meal packages, plus beer and wine to go. 50% off for
Craftsman House Takeout. Sandwiches, wraps,
beef brisket, and one slice of peanut butter pie. Plus,
however, and now the ‘mama is slinging empanadas
first responders. 4447 4th St. N., No. 1, St. Petersburg.
salads, soups, sweets, coffee and espresso bar, beer,
curbside booze available: beer, wine, and cocktails to
on Ubereats.
727-325-2973. betterbyrd.com
wine and smoothies. Curbside pickup available.
go. Use code HERE4U to receive 15% off your pickup
Flames Indian Cuisine Takeout and delivery. 15% off
Big Bamboo Bayside Takeout and delivery. Burgers,
2955 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-323-2787.
order. 1101 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-443-7227.
all orders. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery
tacos, pizza and sandwiches. Also open for breakfast.
craftsmanhousegallery.com
drbbqs.com
available. 2601 S. MacDill Ave, Tampa. 813-252-8069.
Delivery via UberEats. 20% off if you live or work off
Daily Eats Takeout and delivery. Bottled mimosas for
Dunedin Brewery Good news, Pinellas, you can still
flamestampa.com
Rocky Point Drive. 2506 N Rocky Point Dr., Tampa.
$6.50. Plus, food menu available, and 50% off for first
get some of the best wings in the county, along with
Flippers Pizzeria Takeout and delivery. Hospitality
813-803-2207. bigbamboobayside.com
responders. 901 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813-868-3335.
tallboys, 32 oz. crowlers and assorted 16 oz. singles
Family Discount: 50% off 16” and 13” pizzas for hotels,
BurgerFi Takeout and delivery. Hormone-free Angus
ilovedailyeats.com
when you call-in and pickup at this small town staple.
restaurant, convention and attraction employees.
beef burgers, hand-cut fries and double-battered onion
Datz Serving takeout and delivery. Quarantine Meal
No walk up ordering at all. 37 Douglas Ave, Dunedin.
Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available.
rings, Wagyu Beef hot dogs with all the fixings, and the
Kits at both the Tampa and St. Pete locations. Vegan
727-736-0606. dunedinbrewery.com
1054 4th St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-822-9866.
all-natural Fi’ed or grilled chicken sandwiches. Free
options available. Plus, Old Fashioneds, margaritas,
Dunedin Smokehouse Takeout and delivery. Catering
flipperspizzeria.com
reduced delivery and first order discounts available.
and frosés to go, and build-at-home cocktail kits: $24
and beer and wine package sales available. Delivery via
Fresh Kitchen Takeout and delivery. Family-sized
Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available.
for class mimosa, which includes OJ and a bottle of
UberEats. Open 12 p.m. to 8 p.m. 7 days. 100% of tips
(serves 8) meal packages, plus beer and wine to go. 50%
By Alexis Chamberlain and Ray Roa
Byblos Curbside carryout, 25% off all menu items when using curbside carryout, no coupon or code required.
of what’s still available for pickup and delivery
You can also order delivery through UberEats, Grubhub
across the Tampa Bay area. So visit cltampa.com/
and DoorDash. 2832 S. MacDill Ave, Tampa. 813-805-
24 | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | cltampa.com
RAY ROA
irst thing: This two-page list represents just a slice
NICE BALLS: The very craveable hush puppies at Seminole Heights King of the Coop.
Temporary” with a small take out menu with menu
chicken breast, bread, toilet paper and paper towels.
14929 Bruce B. Downs Blvd., Tampa. 813-977-4104.
changes weekly. The first week’s menu was Italian, this
Online, phone, and food delivery services available.
Golden Dinosaurs Takeout and delivery. Vegan eats
dunderbaks.com
week’s is Japanese, and next week’s is French. Wine
Multiple locations. taco-bus.com
and pantry items available, plus DIY Donut boxes and
Nature’s Food Patch Market & Café Takeout for deli
and beer available for togo. 420 Patricia Ave., Dunedin.
Taquitos Mexican Takeout and delivery. One free meal
$8 for mimosa pints. 2930 Beach Blvd. S., Gulfport.
and delivery for grocery via Instacart. Curbside pickup
727-223-1705. restorativerestaurant.com
per customer to those out of work and in need (until
727-873-6901. goldendinosaurs.com
and contactless delivery available. Multiple locations.
Rococo Steak Family-style and a la carte takeout
further notice). Free churros on orders of $25 or more.
Gourmet Pizza Company Takeout and delivery. Free
naturesfoodpatch.com
options available. All cocktails available to-go (i.e.
Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available.
Breadsticks with any 16” pizza, $5 off $30 or more,
New World Brewery The recently-reopened live music
Cucumber Roe, Watermelon Spritz). 25% off all takeout
9617 Bay Pines Blvd., St. Petersburg. 727-256-1617.
$10 off $65 or more, $2 off any two 10” pizzas (excludes
and beer hub takes to-go orders on food and booze,
bottles of wine. 655 2nd Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-
taquitosmex.com
gluten-free crusts). Curbside pickup and contactless
which means you can have the world famous New World
822-0999. rococosteak.com
TBD@301 Takeout and delivery. Handcrafted tea
delivery available. 610 S. Armenia Ave., Tampa. 813-
pizzas (our favorites are the Ground Control and “Dark
Rooster Re-dux Three Proper House Group
beverages paired with Filipino food and local desserts.
258-1999. gourmetpizza-company.com
Side Of the Moon”) along with chef Mike’s mac ‘n’ cheese
restaurants—including Rooster & the Till, Nebraska
Kava, kratom and boba teas available. Family meals
Ichicoro Ramen Takeout and delivery. Ramen kits
and more in the comfort of home. 810 E. Skagway Ave.,
Mini-Mart and Gallito—are operating as one takeout
available. 5% discount on your first online delivery.
available for delivery through Saltblock Hospitality.
Tampa. 813-304-0460. newworldtampa.com
operation out of Rooster & the Till at Seminole
3840 US Hwy. 301 S., Riverview. 813-420-0013. tbdcafe.
5229 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-517-9989.
New York New York Pizza Takeout and delivery.
Heights. 6500 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-374-8940.
com
ichicororamen.com
Plus, new CBD slices and pies at Ybor City location,
roosternadthetill.com
World of Beer Takeout and delivery. 50% for all first
Irish 31 Pub House & Eatery Takeout menu for
infused with Kore Organic CBD. Multiple locations.
Saltblock Catering Offering family-style meals and
responders. UberEats deliveries, spend $20 and get a
delivery via UberEats or takeout for curbside pickup.
nynypizzeria.com
grocery essentials delivered right to your door, including
free German Pretzel. Curbside pickup and contactless
Neighborhood Market menu available with staples such
Noble Crust St. Pete Takeout and delivery.
ingredients and menu items from local restaurants and
delivery available. 5311 Avion Park Dr., Tampa. 813-
as bread, cheese and of course, toilet paper. Beer, wine,
Complimentary gnocchi with takeout and UberEats
vendors. Place your meal delivery orders by 11:59 p.m.
930-5499. worldofbeer.com
and liquor to-go available for a limited time. Multiple
(limited time offer). On Sundays from 11 a.m. to 4
on Monday for deliveries starting on Wednesday. New
Yeoman’s Cask & Lion Takeout. 25% off for medical
locations. irish31.com
p.m., complimentary bottle of champagne and OJ
menus created weekly. saltblockhospitality.com
professionals, first responders, and hospitality/service
Jackson’s Bistro, Bar & Sushi “Fast Jack’s” takeout
with takeout purchase of $25 or more (while supplies
SoHo Sushi Take out. 20% off all takeout, including
industry workers. $34.99 for two brunch items, bottle
menu and premade protein bowls, salads, burgers,
last). 50% off all bottles of wine. Additional offers to
bottled beer, wine and sake. Curbside pickup available.
of bubbly and OJ. Takeout beer promotion with food
and chicken sandwiches available. Curbside pickup
come. 8300 4th St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-329-6041.
3218 W. Kennedy Blvd., Tampa. 813-873-7646.
purchase: domestic singles $3.50, imports 4-pack $12,
available. 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. 7 days. 601 S. Harbour
noble-crust.com
sohosushi.com
craft singles $4.50 or 4-pack $15. 202 N. Morgan St.,
Island Blvd., Tampa. 813-277-0112. jacksonsbistro.com
Oggi Italian Cafe and Wine Bar Takeout and delivery.
Strandhill Public Takeout. Noon to 9 p.m. 7 days.
Tampa. 813-224-9367. yeomanscaskandlion.com
Kaleisia Tea Lounge Takeout. Vegan, vegetarian-
Free golf cart delivery to Davis Islands residents. Free
Offering the following discounts: 10% discount on all
Zukku Zukku-Tori is a new to-go and delivery concept,
friendly, fresh brewed teas, smoothies and coffee.
delivery to all others via UberEats. 236 E. Davis Blvd.,
pick-up orders. 15% discount for all military personnel
Zukku-Tori, located from Michael Stewart’s 717 South
Curbside pickup available. 1441 E. Fletcher Ave., Ste.
Tampa. 813-252-7778. oggiitalian.com
with valid I.D. 10288 Cswy. Blvd., Tampa. 813-442-
Restaurant. Order ahead online via ZukkuSushi.com and
101, Tampa. 813-977-8266. thetealounge.com
Oldsmar Smokin BBQ Takeout and delivery. Pork, ribs,
7080. strandhillpublic.com
pick up at 717 S. Howard Ave or select delivery to have
Kat Dunn Williams A mini-menu of sweet baked things,
chicken, and brisket. Daily specials available via
Taco Bus The Bay area taco chain is still keeping it
your meal delivered. Also available for pickup and via
including doorstep delivery. facebook.com/kdunn55
Facebook. 120 Commerce Blvd., Ste. 1, Oldsmar. 813-
Chido and offering takeout and delivery in addition
UberEats and DoorDash. 717 S. Howard Ave., Tampa.
King State On March 27, the Tampa Heights coffee
328-4469. Oldsmar Smokin BBQ on Facebook
to bus loads of essentials like frozen beef, shrimp,
813-250-1661. zukkusushi.com
shop and hangout 86’s walk-in order. Everything must
Pacific Counter Takeout and delivery. Mainland mix
now be ordered by phone or online. The team will text
of coastal classics in the form of sushi bowls and sushi
when the order—coffee, food, bags of coffee, beer, wine
burritos. 660 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-440-
and more—is ready. 520 E. Floribraska Ave., Tampa.
7008. pacificcounter.com
813-221-2100. king-state.com
Parlor House Bistro Take out. 15% off entire menu, plus
Lee’s Grocery Takeout. Stone baked pizza, wings and
beer, wine and cocktails to go. 1757 Main St., Dunedin.
craft beer. 2210 N. Central Ave., Tampa. 813-374-0179.
727-754-3978. parlorhousebistro.com
leesgrocery.com
PDQ All PDQ locations remain open for drive-thru,
Magdalena’s Pizzeria Takeout and delivery. Daily
takeout, and third party delivery. Extended BOGO
Italian offerings and Filipino, Spanish, Italian fusion
offer on chicken tender platters from 4 p.m. until
on weekends. $25.99 for large cheese pizza, wings,
close in drive-thru only through March 30th. Specific
garlic knots and 2-liter of soda. 2313 W. Linebaugh
restaurant updates and offerings can be found online.
Ave., Tampa. 813-252-7158. magdalenapizzeriafl.com
Multiple locations. eatpdq.com
Meat Market Takeout and delivery. 15% off any order
Pete’s General Takeout and delivery. Fresh baked
of $50 or more. Alcohol and wine for purchase available
bagels, breads and pastries. $1 bagels for industry
for takeout. Curbside pickup available. 1606 W. Snow
folks. 495 7th Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-440-6183.
Ave., Tampa. 813-280-1113. meatmarket.net
petesgeneral.com
Mermaid Tavern Takeout and delivery. Farm-to-table
Poke Fish Takeout and delivery. Bowls made with
pub-style with one of Tampa’s best craft beer and wine
organic brown rice, free range chicken, salmon,
lists. Full package license means bottles, cans and
carrots, and organic chicken broth. Multiple locations.
growlers to go. Available until midnight daily. Delivery
eatpokefish.com
via UberEats. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery
Pop n Sons Take out. Delicious burgers and breakfast
available. 6719 N. Nebraska Ave, Tampa. 813-238-5618.
any time of day. Plus, free roll of toilet paper with your
mermaidtaverntampa.com
carry out order (normally bad advertising, but they
Moon Under Water Limited take out menu available. All
figured you’d need a laugh). 4812 N. Dale Mabry Hwy.,
cocktails available to go, $3 bottled and canned beer,
Tampa. 813-875-9005. popnsons.com
and a free quart (32 ounce) of beer with any purchase
Psomi Pre-orders of baked goods, dips, breads, etc.
of $25 or more. 332 Beach Dr. NE, St. Petersburg. 727-
Accepting special requests. Curbside pickup and e-gift
869-6160. themoonunderwater.com
cards available. 701 N. Howard Ave., Tampa. 818-415-
Mr. Dunderbak’s Biergarten Takeout. All meals and
5555. eatpsomi.com
beer served in single use containers. Only credit
The Restorative Temporarily operating as “The
RAY ROA
cards will be accepted. 11:30 a.m. to 8 p.m. 7 days.
813-280-0515. eatfreshkitchen.com
RAY ROA
p.
off for first responders. 1350 S. Howard Ave., Tampa.
BACK THAT CASS UP: Chef Suz’s sandos at Cass St. Deli are a must for your quarantine menu.
cltampa.com | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | 25
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727-914-8000 661 CENTRAL AVENUE . ST. PETERSBURG THELURESTPETE.COM
26 | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | cltampa.com
Cruise for booze Places to pick up ready-made cocktails to-go.
T
imes are weird, and they are hard, especially for Tampa Bay bartenders. There’s a page that’ll let you tip a random local drinkslinger every time you take a sip at home (find the link on our website). Here are some of the best places to get a cocktail packaged for you to enjoy at the house. See more via cltampa. com/food. The Hub Bar Specials on fancy whiskey sours and other drinks are available on certain days at this downtown Tampa dive, but the signature “Hub pour”—which staff translates to “four drinks at the Hub, eight drinks everywhere else”—will be the hallmark to anyone buying $20 quarts of Hub margaritas or bloody marys. 719 N. Franklin St., Tampa. (813) 229-1553. The Hub Bar on Facebook Noble Crust The St. Petersburg location is still open and brunching thanks to the free bottle of sparkling wine and orange juice that comes with any Sunday order of $25 or more. The crew is also slinging $10 mason jar craft cocktails (the Brown Butter Dram, plus classics like the Manhattan and Old Fashioned) every day of the week. 8300 4th St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-3296041. noble-crust.com Mandarin Heights The cocktails bar in Seminole Heights is packing cocktails to go, but orders must be placed by 5 p.m. on Tuesdays. A menu is available on Instagram via @mandarinheights. 5901 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-501-9585 mandarinheights.com Miguelitos Taqueria Y Tequilas Prices on to-go skinny or premium margaritas range from $75 (one gallon) to $10 (eight ounces) at this South Tampa Mexican staple where half-gallon and 16 oz. options,, too. 2702 W Kennedy Blvd., Tampa. 813-872-5600. miguelitostampa.com Haven Enjoy SoHo sips in your skivvies thanks to drinks like the cucumber and elderflower soda. A dinner menu with apps, salad, sandwiches, plates, sides, Little Midway ice cream and the “Taste of Bern’s” section sounds like date night. 2208 W Morrison Ave., Tampa. (813) 258-2233. haventampa.com Trophy Fish Favorites (Calm Before the Storms, Pistachio Mai Tais, Salty Dogs, and Fin and Tonics) in vacuum-sealed plastic pouches complete with rosemary and candied blood orange slices garnishes. 2060 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-258-7883. trophyfishstpete.com
DYLAN MELCHER
By Alexis Chamberlain and Ray Roa
BREWERIES + BOTTLES 1933 Pub and Grill Curbside service for growler fills of craft beer on draft. 2245 Nursery Rd., Clearwater. (727) 532-1972. 1933pub.com Bay Cannon Beer Company & Guava Grill Takeout and delivery. Full menu available. Beer delivery available statewide. 2106 W. Main St., Tampa. 813-251-4553. baycannon.com 7th Sun Seminole Heights and Dunedin locations accepting to-go sales from 3 p.m. until sunset. No cash allowed, and please follow each locations specific sanitary procedures. 7thsun.com Book + Bottle The wine and book lounge is willing to ship, or meet customers at the door with orders. 17 6th St. N,, St. Petersburg. 727-2407448. bookandbottlestpete.com BRU Florida Growler Bar Offering plastic (disposable/recyclable) 32-ounce growlers of Florida craft beer, cider, hard seltzer, kombucha and cold brew coffee. The concept is also waiving delivery charges around Tampa. Check Bru’s Facebook for more information. 8729 Gunn Hwy., Odessa. 813-328-4721. BRU Florida Growler Bar on Facebook Cage Brewery Takeout. Any size growler filled or refilled. 2 p.m. to 8 p.m. Monday through Thursday. 12 p.m. to 8 p.m. Friday through Sunday. 2001 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727201-4278. cagebrewing.com Cigar City Brewing The Spruce Street tasting room in Tampa’s Carver City neighborhood is open and serving to-go beer and food from 12 p.m.-8 p.m. Orders and payment may be taken over the phone and in-person. No growler or crowler fills. 3924 W. Spruce St., Tampa. 813-348-6363. cigarcitybrewing.com Coppertail Brewing Co. Takeout. Full menu available: wings, flatbreads, sandwiches, salads and more. All beer in the cooler can be taken home. Filling new growlers and crowlers. 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. 7 days. To go orders can be placed online or over the phone. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 2601 E. 2nd Ave, Tampa. 813-450-1781. coppertailbrewing.com Hidden Springs Ale Works Tampa Heights’ finest brewery staff is still holding it down, slinging tall boys, bottles and crowlers to go. Online ordering available. They’ve even teamed up with some very, very far away friends—Weymouth, Massachusetts’ Vitamin Sea Brewery—to come up with a long distance beer collaboration: the S P A R K L I N G I S O L A T I O N double IPA, which should be available in the coming weeks. Did we mention tipping well? 1631 N. Franklin St., Tampa. hiddenspringsaleworks.com LateStart Brewing The brewery inside Channelside’s Pour House offers growler fills, with a menu that’s constantly changing. 1208 E. Kennedy Blvd No. 112, Tampa. 813-402-2923.
DRINKS
POUR HUB: Downtown Tampa dive The Hub is pouring quarts of its signature heavy drinks.
latestartbrewing.com Rock Brothers Brewing Co. Get this: An anonymous donor has pledged a $10,000 match donation to the U.S. Bartenders Guild Emergency Assistance fund for every dollar spent in this Ybor City tasting room. There are gift card specials, rare whiskeys, canned beer to go, and Aperol Spritz and Moscow Mule full bottle package kits available. Open by appointment only for pickup or delivery from 12 to 5 p.m. daily (except Sunday).
Message on Facebook to place an order. 1901 N. 15th St., Tampa. 813-241-0110. rockbrothersbrewing.com TBBCo Pretty much everything—from beer to lunch, dinner and dessert—is available from the long-running Bay area brewery staple with locations in Ybor City and Westchase. 813-247-1422 tbbc.beer Did we miss your spot? Visit cltampa.com/emergencylistings to let us know.
cltampa.com | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | 27
A THIRST QUENCHING GOLDEN ALE JAMMED WITH LOADS FRESH STRAWBERRIES & LIME. AROMAS REMINISCENT OF FLORIDA STRAWBERRY FIELDS WITH A LIME TWIST. FLAVORS OF FRESH PICKED FLORIDA STRAWBERRIES, BUT WITH A SUBTLE ACIDIC BALANCE FROM LIME JUICE!
tbbc.beer @tbbco #beerisyourfriend 28 | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | cltampa.com
cltampa.com | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | 29
MOVIES
THEATER
ART
CULTURE
Bridge builder
Local theaters move heaven and earth so the show can go on, but this time is different.
M
y dear Stageworks Friends and Family: These last few weeks have been very difficult for all of us both spiritually and physically as we can only look toward an uncertain future. It is surreal to spend my workdays alone in a place that is typically filled with vibrancy, creativity, excitement, but most importantly, love and passion. Like many of our theater colleagues across the nation, Stageworks has had to implement several measures to face the crisis which currently engulfs Americans everywhere. A couple of weeks ago, to safeguard the health and safety of our community, we officially postponed the opening of “12 Angry Men.” Now, anyone who has ever done theater at any level knows that a postponed opening is something that almost never happens. ‘The show must go on’ is an industry cliché for a reason. We move heaven and earth to avoid disappointing our audiences. But on this occasion, things are different. The “new normal” isn’t about me or about you … it’s about us and how together we will get through these trying times. I’ve been thinking lately about our mission and how Stageworks can help others in this time of crisis in a way that, we as a theater community, are uniquely equipped. As a sometime actor and full time director, my primary job requirement is to be able to set aside myself and understand the path of someone else. Acting is a strange and ethereal skill. It is difficult. It is exhausting. It is exhilarating. As actors train and hone their craft they all develop a heightened sense of empathy. One must be empathetic towards their character in order to truly understand them. A by-product of empathizing with your character is the ability to extend that empathy to people in your everyday life. Most actors I know are highly empathetic and highly generous with their emotional energy. They have a natural impulse for understanding and kindness. It is in that context that I think now, more than ever, our society needs to look at the arts as a means to heal, as a vehicle to learn from ourselves about ourselves. The polarizing times in which we live, and a crisis that has made
GABRIEL BURGOS/TAMPA MAGAZINE
By Karla Hartley
ALONE FOR NOW: “Now, more than ever, our society needs to look at the arts as a means to heal.” “social distancing” a necessity, do not need to be a permanent reality. We should not, in fact we cannot, let this become the “new normal.” The arts need to step in to become that bridge that will allow us to reconnect and give us all a sense of community, led by artists of all kinds who have been preparing for this moment our entire lives, whether we knew it or not. At Stageworks, we plan to contribute our two cents to this cause by continuing to entertain and educate in any way we can. In the coming weeks, we will be creating original content you can enjoy at a safe social distance by following @stageworkstampa on Facebook,Twitter and Instagram. The “Stageworks Staycation” series will feature
THEATER
30 | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | cltampa.com
an entertaining behind-the-scenes look at Stageworks staff showing WFH (Work From Home) solidarity with the rest of you. We are also in the process of planning online classes taught by our resident teaching artists, live streamed play readings and other virtual programming we think will keep the magic of theater alive for all of us. Whether theater, music, writing or painting, the language of the arts only helps bring society together. The arts are what puts the “unity” in community and what will allow us to once again look at each other in the eye and touch each other’s hearts. It is the only path forward. Leading with empathy and generosity is
the artists’ specialty and we are ready to get started.—Karla — Karla Hartley is the Producing Artistic Director at Stageworks Theatre - Tampa’s longest running professional theater, onstage since 1983. She has worked exclusively in the nonprofit sector for the last 25 years and is passionate about making theatre accessible and inclusive for all. Karla upholds Stageworks’ mission to create theatre that respects, ignites, and celebrates the human spirit, and challenges the thresholds of intolerance with her bold, innovative programming choices. Connect with Karla and Stageworks by visiting stageworkstheatre.org and following @ stageworkstampa on social media.
“The ‘new normal’ isn’t about me or about you.”
Home show
Tampa Theatre extends coronavirus blackout, announces new in-home ‘virtual cinema’ screenings. By Ray Roa
D
owntown Tampa’s historic Tampa Theatre is staying dark through at least April 30 in response to concerns about the coronavirus, but it’s also announced an initiative to stream art house flicks directly to your home. Last week, the nonprofit movie palace posted the first two films in its new “Tampa Theatre Virtual Cinema” series. According to a press release, the first is “Saint Frances,” a new film from Oscilloscope that will forego a traditional big-screen release “in order to allow art house cinemas the exclusive opportunity to sell virtual ‘tickets’ to a Vimeo screening link and split the proceeds 50/50.” The indie comedy directed by Kelly O’Sullivan is about a 34-year-old nanny and the questionable choices she makes, and it “delivers a revolutionary overhaul of how women are depicted on-screen,” according to Variety. A three-day rental of “Saint Frances”— which earned a 98% rating on famouslyfinicky movie website Rotten Tomatoes—is $11.50. “We’ve always felt that nothing can rival the magic of coming to a majestic movie palace to enjoy great cinema. So while it hurts us not to be able to welcome our fans and friends to gather in person at Tampa Theatre, we continue to look for ways to provide unique cinematic
experiences for our patrons,” Tampa Theatre President and CEO, John Bell, wrote. “Today’s technology gives us the unique ability to stay virtually connected with film lovers, and we’re excited to do so through this curated selection of special events.” The second film in the series is a re-release of Louie Schwartzberg’s stoner-delight, “Fantastic Fungi,” and arrived last Thursday ($4.99 for a 48-hour streaming period). The New York Times called the flick an “informative and kooky documentary offers nothing less than a model for planetary survival.” Tampa Theatre—which receives a portion of the proceeds from its patron’s purchases—is offering options to rent or purchase a streaming copy of the film, plus the opportunity to join a live Zoom Q&A with filmmaker Schwartzberg and one of the documentary’s subjects, mycologist Paul Stamets. Officials at Tampa Theatre said more virtual show announcements are planned in the coming days and weeks as more film distributors offer titles through streaming channels. Screenings of "The Whistler," "Bacurau," The Etruscan Smile" and Robbier Robertson Band doc were just announced, too. More information is at tampatheatre.org.
MOVIES
“Nothing can rival the magic of coming to a majestic movie palace to enjoy great cinema.”
The power of LIKE
DYLAN MELCHER
LIKE CREATIVE LOAFING TAMPA ON FACEBOOK STILL DARK: Tampa Theatre extended its coronavirus break until at least April 30.
Daily updates, news, photos, concerts, movies, restaurants and more! cltampa.com | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | 31
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Camp out
Tampa Bay businesses still open to serve you during quarantine. By Alexis Chamberlain
A
safer-at-home is the reality for so many of us, but
47th Ave N., St. Petersburg. 727-522-6566. friendsof-
for now, here are the businesses still helping you
strays.org
get the shit you need to live. Oh and check out
Health Mutt Virtual shopping available for curbside
the gyms helping you keep that COVID-19 (pounds)
pickup. To place a curbside order, text 813-467-6529
at bay. See a full list via cltampa.com/arts.
or shop online. 6116 N Central Ave., Tampa. 813-231-
The Body Electric Yoga Company Brick and mortar
3137. tampahealthmutt.com
is closed, but offering several classes a day free live
Kalamazoo Olive Company Small, locally owned inde-
streamed on Facebook. Schedule available online or
pendent specialty grocery retail shop, selling imported
on the app. 3015 7th St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-490-
olive oils and balsamic vinegars. 1008 Central Ave..,
9361. thebodyelectricyoga.com
St. Petersburg. 727-258-4925. kalamazooolive.com
CAMP Tampa Choose your own adventure (Pilates,
The Modern Paws Locally-owned natural pet market
HIIT, Yoga) at Camp (stylized “CAMP”), no matter
offering curbside shopping and pickup, plus same-day
where you are. The South Tampa studio is offering
delivery throughout Hillsborough County on orders
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over $35. Full service grooming and self dog wash
time, bringing you online workout classes with new
stations closed until further notice. 1120 E. Kennedy
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City Bike Tampa Downtown Tampa full-service bike
but limiting calls to three to four a day to minimize
shop is in drive-thru mode and still building new
the exposure and spread of the virus. 813-808-7533.
bikes. 208 E. Cass St., Tampa. 813-225-1777. citybik-
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etampa.com
Tampa Bay History Center Temporarily closed, but
Grill & Provisions Co. One-stop grill pro shop and Big
featuring online content via Facebook and Instagram.
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chases, 20% of all charcoal, pellets, spices, rubs, and
Tampa Museum of Art Temporarily closed, but will be
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producing online content for members and the public,
BBQ catering and family packs that can be ordered
including virtual tours of our exhibitions, follow-along
ahead and delivered. 3501 N. Armenia Ave., Tampa.
art-making activities, and live-streamed events, post-
813-879-4647. grillandprovisions.com
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The Florida Aquarium Temporarily closed, but offer-
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813-254-8880 cltampa.com | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | 33
REVIEWS
PROFILES
MUSIC WEEK
The first in a series about how musicians are coping with life during the COVID-19 pandemic.
DASHING GINGER
Coming apart By Eric Snider
H
anging out on the roof of a converted church in Tampa Heights, sipping a mezcal & tequila margarita, Shawn Kyle asked me to hold a second while he checked his schedule on his phone. “Oh, I was supposed to headline the main room at the Hard Rock [in Tampa] with my fourpiece tonight,” he said. “That’s not happening.” Perhaps no Tampa Bay musician in the last two decades has exhibited more natural rock-star swagger than Kyle, who grew up working class in the tough “Suitcase City” section of Tampa. He fronted the popular band The Beauvilles until walking away in 2012. Afterward, he followed a peripatetic career path that found him in D.C, Nashville, Austin and Los Angeles. Kyle rode high for a while fronting the band AMFMS, which toured regularly, did showcases at SXSW and CMJ and reached the Top 50 on college rock radio. He returned to Tampa full time about three-and-half-years ago. Kyle did music production work (notably with Have Gun, Will Travel), ran his own video company, and wrote songs for other artists. About eight months ago, he started performing again, landing good-paying one-off gigs that he described as “sort of rock ’n’ roll revival shows where I drag out some vintage covers, pull from my own catalogue, and play with a group of great musicians. Sometimes it was an ‘Animal House’ type thing, playing ‘Louie Louie’ and shit.” Clearly, that work is kaput. “95% of my income was gone in less than a week,” Kyle said matter-of-factly. Until then, Kyle said, he was enjoying one of his best earning years. He was in the process of renovating a midcentury house he owns in Seminole Heights, so is staying at his girlfriend’s apartment. He hangs out regularly on the rooftop, which has a panoramic view of the city. “My standard of living allowed me to buy a house and put some money in the bank as long as I wasn’t being frivolous,” he said. That living standard is certainly on hold, if not yet in jeopardy. Not long ago, Kyle engaged in some
musical-equipment arbitrage that provided a hedge against the COVID-19 crisis. Because he has toured so extensively, Kyle had been speaking with friends in Europe about the virus’s spread, as well as keeping up with international news. “I had a gut feeling that this would happen,” he said of the coronavirus assaulting the United States. So he made a prescient move—one that stung. Kyle sold off nine vintage guitars and some analog gear before the pandemic depressed the market. “If I hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have been able to make my house payments. I have a few months of being able to pay for food and my mortgage and any debt.” Kyle readily points out that he’s in much better shape than other working musicians, and that he’s deeply concerned about them. Still, the career momentum he’d built over the last couple of years has ground to a halt, as has his income. “I think you have to be someone who can deal with loss to be a touring artist for 20 years,” he said when asked how he’s handling the situation emotionally. “You have to be able to deal with breathtaking highs and terrible lows, otherwise [touring] would’ve killed you off a long time ago.” “Yes, I loved a lot of those guitars, but my worries now are about my mother who has a heart condition and has had cancer and I can’t see her. I’m worried about friends who work as musicians and in bars and nightclubs and have zero income for the foreseeable future. And they have families and mouths to feed and this caught them completely by surprise. So fuck it if I don’t have a few guitars. I kept a couple that I can make music with.” “For me to be upset that I don’t get to play on stage for screaming people right now is absurd. I don’t miss performing right now. Now is not the time for that. Whenever I start to feel that way, I say to myself, ‘How else can I be productive?
LOCAL MUSIC
34 | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | cltampa.com
UP ON THE ROOF: Shawn Kyle atop his girlfriend’s apartment building How else can I help other people?’” Kyle has been staying busy completing songs and recording tracks at the studio in his Seminole Heights house. “I go there everyday,” he said, “stuff like, ‘I’ve been meaning to finish that.’ ‘I should add a bridge to that song.’” For health and conscience reasons, Kyle decided to skip a live-stream event that gathered together prominent Bay area musicians. He’s giving guitar lessons on the cheap to kids via video chat. Like everyone else, Kyle has his highs and lows. “Did I sleep last night?” he said. “Not really. A couple of hours. I got out of bed this morning
“My worries now are about my mother who has a heart condition and has had cancer.”
feeling really angry. Then I realize that there’s nothing I can do about this but follow best practices and be as productive and helpful as I can. You slap yourself a couple times and get on with it. I can’t let myself get so worried and upset that I won’t be able to help where I can. I can’t become paralyzed—and you can’t create something out of paralysis.” — This story is the first in a series about how musicians are coping with life during the COVID-19 pandemic — from creative, financial and emotional perspectives. The subjects are those who make their living as full-time musicians, not as a sideline. If you fit into this category and would like to share your story, email: eric.r.snider@ gmail.com. Find more stories like this via cltampa.com/music.
Where the vinyl is: a list of Bay area record stores
It’s no secret that locally-owned and operated businesses are taking a hit from coronavirus closures and curfews. Some Tampa Bay record stores have adapted by offering curbside pickup, free shipping and private shopping during the COVID-19 pandemic. Stock up on some quarantine vinyl, and spend that money you were saving for the now postponed Record Store Day 2020. Just make sure to call ahead of time to see what’s up at the shop. —Kyla Fields ArtPool Records (2030 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-433-5195, artpoolrules. com
Daddy Kool Records (2430 Terminal Dr. S., Side B, St. Petersburg) 727-822-5665, daddykool.com
Kingfish Records (Main Store) (26024-B US Highway 19 N., Clearwater) 727-351-5177, kingfishrecords.com
Sound Exchange Tampa (14246 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa) 813-978-9316, soundexchangetampabay.com
Asylum Sights and Sounds (6566 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-384-1221
Disc Exchange (6712 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-343-5845, thediscexchange. com
Kingfish Records (Flea Market) (180 Race Track Rd., Tampa) 727-455-9923, kingfishrecords.com
Sound Exchange Pinellas Park (66th Street N and 86th Avenue N., Pinellas Park) 727-545-0042, soundexchangetampabay.com
Dunedin Records & Audio (757 Main St., Dunedin) 727-423-4108, dunedinrecords.com
Microgroove (906 N. Florida Ave., Tampa) 813-667-7089, microgroovetampa.co
St. Pete Records (6648 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-490-8861, stpeterecords.com
Mojo Books & Records (2540 E. Fowler Ave., Tampa) 813-971-9717, mojotampa.com
Steelworker Records (708 W. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., Tampa) 813-666-4933, steelworkerrecords.com
Bananas Records (2887 22nd Ave N., St. Petersburg) 727-327-4616 ext. 1, bananasrecords.com
Bananas Records Warehouse (2226 16th Dustin’s Vinyl Shop (180 Race Track Rd., Ave. N., St. Petersburg) 727 327-4616 ext. 2, Booth F25 W, Oldsmar) 727-678-6829, bananasrecords.com facebook.com/pg/dustinsvinylshop Blue Moon Antiques, Books & Music Green Shift Music & Comics (5713 N. (1413 Cleveland St., Clearwater) 727-443-7444 Nebraska Ave., Tampa) 813-238-4177, greenshiftmusicandcomics.com The Clearwater Record Shop (1610 N. Hercules Ave., Clearwater) 727-755-1201, Hello Darlin’ Records (Roving VW Camper) clearwaterrecordshow.com 727-479-6783, hellodarlinrecords.com
Patrick’s Book and Record Store (15215 US Hwy.19 C, Hudson) 727-868-3168, patricksbooksandre.wixsite.com/patricks Planet Retro Records (226 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. St. N., St. Petersburg) 727-2187434, planetretrorecords.com
Unique Music & Collectables (123 Main St., Dunedin) 727-240-0757 Vintage Vinyl (38874 U.S. 19 N., Tarpon Springs) 727-940-8301, vintagevinyl.biz
cltampa.com | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | 35
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Aries The ram.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): “If all the world’s a stage, where the hell is the teleprompter,” asks aphorist Sami Feiring. In my astrological opinion, you Aries are the least likely of all the signs to identify with that perspective. While everyone else might wish they could be better prepared for the nonstop improvisational tests of everyday life, most of you tend to prefer what I call the “naked spontaneity” approach. If you were indeed given the chance to use a teleprompter, you’d probably ignore it. Everything I just said is especially and intensely true for you right now. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When Nobel Prizewinning Norwegian author Knut Hamsun was 25 years old, a doctor told him that the tuberculosis he had contracted would kill him within three months. But in fact, Hamsun lived 67 more years, till the age of 92. I suspect there’s an equally erroneous prophecy or unwarranted expectation impacting your life right now. A certain process or phenomenon that seems to be nearing an end may in fact reinvent or resurrect itself, going on to last for quite some time. I suggest you clear away any misapprehensions you or others might have about it.
lingering wound you aspired to heal or a debilitating memory you longed to conquer? The coming weeks will be an excellent time to take inventory of your progress in projects like those. And if you find that you have achieved less than you had hoped, I trust you will dedicate yourself to playing catch-up in the weeks between now and your birthday. You may be amazed at how much ground you can cover. CANCER (June 21-July 22): I can’t swim. Why? There was a good reason when I was a kid: I’m allergic to chlorine, and my mom wouldn’t let me take swimming lessons at the local chlorinetreated pool. Since then, the failure to learn is inexcusable, and I’m embarrassed about it. Is there an equivalent phenomenon in your life, my fellow Cancerian? The coming weeks might be an excellent time to meditate on how to correct the problem. Now excuse me while I head out to my solo self-administered swim lesson at Bass Lake, buoyed by the instructions I got from a Youtube video.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I invite you to remember what you were thinking and feeling around your birthday in 2019. Were there specific goals you hoped to accomplish between then and your birthday in 2020? Were there bad old habits you aimed to dissolve and good new habits you proposed to instigate? Was there a
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Is William Shakespeare the greatest author who ever lived? French philosopher Voltaire didn’t think so, calling him “an amiable barbarian.” Russian superstar author Leo Tolstoy claimed The Bard had “a complete absence of aesthetic feeling.” England’s first Poet Laureate John Dryden called Shakespeare’s language “scarcely intelligible.” T. E. Lawrence, a.k.a Lawrence of Arabia, declared The Bard had a second-rate mind. Lord Byron
said, “Shakespeare’s name stands too absurdly high and will go down.” His contemporary, the poet and playwright Ben Johnson, asserted that he “never had six lines together without a fault.” I offer these cheeky views to encourage you Leos to enjoy your own idol-toppling and authority-questioning activities in the coming weeks. You have license to be an irrepressible iconoclast.
to come, now would be a perfect moment to get more practical about it. If you have fantasized about finding a new role that would allow you to express even more of your beauty and intelligence, you have arrived at a fertile phase to move to the next stage of that fantasy.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I suggest you make room in your life for a time of sacred rejuvenation. Here are activVIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. ities you might try: Recall your favorite events of the 22): Virgo-born Jack Ma is China’s richest past. Reconnect with your By Rob Brezsny person and one of the roots. Research your genetic world’s most powerheritage. Send prayers to ful businessmen. He co-founded Alibaba, the your ancestors, and ask them to converse with Chinese version of Amazon.com. He likes his you in your dreams. Have fun feeling what it employees to work hard, but also thinks they must have been like when you were in your mothshould cultivate a healthy balance between work er’s womb. Get a phone consultation with a past and life. In his opinion, they should have sex six life regression therapist who can help you recover times a week, or 312 times a year. Some observ- scenes from your previous incarnations. Feel ers have suggested that’s too much—especially reverence and gratitude for traditions that are if you labor 12 hours a day, six days a week, as still meaningful to you. Reaffirm your core valJack Ma prefers—but it may not be excessive ues—the principles that serve as your lodestar. for you Virgos. The coming months could be a And here’s the number one task I recommend: very erotic time. But please practice safe sex in Find a place of refuge in your imagination and every way imaginable. memories; use your power of visualization to create an inner sanctuary. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): How hard are you willing to work on your most important rela- AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Are we just being tionships? How might your life change for poetic and fanciful when we say that wonder is the better if you gave them your most potent a survival skill? Not according to the editors resourcefulness and panache? The next eight who assembled the collection of essays gathered weeks will be a favorable time for you to attend in a book called “Wonder and Other Survival to these matters, Libra. During this fertile Skills.” They propose that a capacity to feel awe time, you will have unprecedented power to and reverence can help us to be vital and vigorreinvigorate togetherness with imaginative ous; that an appreciation for marvelous things innovations. I propose you undertake the makes us smart and resilient; that it’s in our following task: Treat your intimate alli- selfish interests to develop a humble longing ances as creative art projects that warrant for sublime beauty and an attraction to sacred your supreme ingenuity. experiences. The coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to dive deep into these healing SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “I make mistakes,” pleasures, dear Aquarius. confessed author Jean Kerr. “I’ll be the second to admit it.” She was making a joke, contrasting her PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): For decades, the city tepid sense of responsibility with the humbler of Sacramento, California suffered from severe and more common version of the idiom, which floods when the Sacramento and American is “I make mistakes; I’ll be the first to admit it.” Rivers overflowed their banks. Residents authoIn the coming weeks, I’ll be fine if you merely rized a series of measures to prevent these match her mild level of apology—just as long disasters, culminating in the construction of a as you do indeed acknowledge some culpabil- 59,000-acre floodplain that solved the problem. ity in what has gone amiss or awry or off-kilter. According to my analysis, the coming weeks will One way or another, you need to be involved in be an excellent time for you to plan an equally atonement and correction—for your own sake. systematic transformation. It could address a big ongoing problem like Sacramento’s floods, SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you have been or it could be a strategy for reorganizing and thinking of adopting a child or getting pregnant recreating your life so as to gloriously serve your with a new child, the coming weeks will be a long-term dreams. favorable time to enter a new phase of rumination about that possibility. If you’ve been dreaming off and on about a big project that could activate your dormant creative powers and captivate your imagination for a long time
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
cltampa.com | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | 37
My husband and I got married in August of 2019 and we were together for over five years before getting married. I’m very happy and love him with all my heart. I want to have his kids and support his entrepreneurial efforts as he supports mine. We don’t fight, we just have some tiffs here and there. The kicker is that I have a tough time feeling him during sex and he doesn’t last as long as I would like him to. We’re adventurous enough to try different things, i.e. toys and different positions, but I find myself sexually unfulfilled. He also isn’t very willing/interested in going down on me, in fact he has not once gone down on me. I’m also finding myself attracted to and fantasizing about other men. In addition to being honest with my husband, I don’t know what the solution is. I’m not opposed to opening up a marriage, but I worry that I’m just being selfish and that it’s too soon to try or even discuss it at any length. I did bring up a crush I have on a coworker and my husband said, “There’s nothing wrong with having a snack.” What did he mean by that? Do you have any other insights or suggestions on what to do? —Married Not Dead P.S. I hope you, your family, and your friends are holding up ok during this pandemic. It’s a scary time so I hope you’re all OK.
SAVAGE LOVE
I shared your letter with Tristan Taormino, author of “Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships.” Through her books, lectures, and podcasts (“Sex Out Loud Radio”), Taormino has helped countless couples navigate the transition from monogamy to nonmonogamy. But before we dive into the specifics of your situation, MND, there’s something Taormino and I want to make clear to all. “In this time of a global pandemic, thinking and talking about non-monogamy is all you can do right now,” said Taormino. “This goes for everyone: No new sex partners until public health experts say we can go back to standing closer than six-feet apart. Even then, we’re going to have to proceed with caution.” Listen up, people: the woman who literally wrote the book on open relationships says open and poly relationships are canceled for the time being. “Yup, canceled,” said Taormino, “unless every one of your partners lives with you.” While COVID-19 isn’t classified as a sexually transmitted infection (STI), having sex with someone who has coronavirus would almost certainly result in transmission. And since people who get infected typically don’t show symptoms for up to two weeks, the fact that someone appears to be healthy doesn’t mean they are corona-free. Someone can look and feel great and be both
38 | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | cltampa.com
he should be open and willing to give most anything a try,” said Taormino. “MND really needs to see that he’s as interested in her pleasure and satisfaction as he is in his own. And if there’s something she wants to try or something that really turns her on and gets her off that her husband doesn’t know about, now is the time to share the juicy details.” As for opening up the relationship, MND, I wouldn’t advise most people to initiate that convo at this moment. Because if the conversation goes badly—and they often do at first—that could mean sheltering in place with an angry person. But based on your husband’s reaction when you confessed having a crush on a coworker, MND, I think you could risk discussing opening up while you’re locked down. Your husband didn’t say there was nothing wrong with fantasizing about a snack, MND, he said there’s nothing wrong with having a snack. Make no mistake: That’s not a green light to immediately outsource getting your pussy eaten. But his calm, matter-of-fact reaction when you confided in him about your crush is a good sign. But first things first: You need to work with your husband on improving your sex life at home and you should have a convo about that—and a convo about ordering some new sex toys—before you make plans to open up the relationship and start getting your pussy eaten elsewhere. “Exploring non-monogamy is one way to address sexual incompatibilities and expand our capacity for love and intimacy,” said Taormino. “But the stuff between the two of them needs to gets talked about first. Otherwise, you’re glossing over the issues with something new and shiny.” Follow @ TristanTaormino on Twitter. N OT W E N E OJ
Open and shut
By Dan Savage
infected and infectious. So for the time being we should only be having sex with a sex partner we live with. If you have more than one sex partner and you’re all staying in the same place, great! Poly isn’t cancelled for you and your partners. But we shouldn’t be hooking up with new partners in person or going to see established partners we don’t live with. That goes double for meeting up with non-cohabiting partners who have other partners and whose other partners have other partners of their own. But the good news is that sext messages and dirty video chats are both allowed and encouraged, kids, so we can get off online with new people as well as established partners who live on the other side of town or the other side of the world. Hell, get the whole polycule together on Zoom—just don’t actually get together (or get under) anyone you don’t live with. OK! With that out of the way, MND, we’re going to answer your question. But bear in mind that some of our advice—our advice about opening up your marriage—won’t be fully actionable until after COVID-19 is brought under control. “I’m glad MND is being honest with her husband about her desires, but let’s take that further with even more specific talk about what’s missing in her sex life,” said Taormino. “In her letter, I heard: pussyeating, intense enough sensation from intercourse, and longer sex sessions. I’ll translate that: She’s missing pleasure, reciprocation, and orgasms for her. She is NOT being selfish for wanting these things. They are pretty fundamental aspects of a sexual relationship, and she needs to address them with her husband first.” Backing way the hell up: Assuming you knew about my column five years ago, MND, it’s telling you didn’t ask for my advice back when you realized your new boyfriend was never going to eat your pussy. (Spoiler: I would’ve told you to dump him.) Since you chose not to break up with your boyfriend over the lack cunnilingus back then and you don’t want to divorce your husband over it now, MND, it would seem that going without oral—at least going without it at home—is the price of admission you’re willing to pay to be with this guy. As for your other issues about your sex life with your husband—you don’t “feel him” during penis-in-vagina (PIV) intercourse and it’s over too quickly—the right toys could certainly help. But if your husband ruled out penetration toys that were bigger than his cock, MND, or if you didn’t order any that were bigger than his cock to avoid hurting his feelings, you’re gonna have to broach the subject of buying some larger toys, MND, ones you can really feel. And since experimenting with new positions didn’t help your husband last longer, you should try alternating between toys and his cock during PIV, which will make both the sex (and the husband) last longer. “If MND’s husband is really in this relationship,
I’ve been in love with a close friend for years. Social distancing has thrown major life “regrets” into high relief, and I would be crushed if something
happened to him. We’ve both been distancing for two weeks and neither of us have symptoms. Can I have him come over to hang out? What if we ended up making out or hooking up? He has housemates and I don’t, so he’s around more people than I am, but everyone at his house has been distancing too. I see so many questions about hooking up with randos and that seems like a clear no-no. But what about hooking up with someone you know? —No Regrets Also a no-no, NR. We’re not supposed to come within six feet of anyone we don’t live with, NR, which means you can’t invite this guy over to play cribbage and/or fuck you senseless. If you wanted to invite this guy over to stay, you could shack up and wait out the lockdown together. But you can’t invite him over just to play. Instead of inviting him over and hoping for something to happen, NR, you should give this guy a call and tell him how you feel. He might feel the same way and want to be your quarantine buddy. But if he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you’ll know. Rejections we can get over, NR, but regrets are for life. Listen to savagelovecast.com every week, email mail@savagelove.net and follow @FakeDanSavage on Twitter.
60 HEY LOOK! by Merl Reagle ACROSS 1 “When I was 63 ___ ...” 64 5 Toss (in) 65 8 Funny duo, 67 Bob ___ 68 14 “Look, ___!” I said to Mr. Ho in the swamp 74 17 “Look, ___!” I said to Mr. Jones 76 as a bird flew by 77 20 “Look, ___!” I said to Ms. 78 Osmond during 81 her pedicure 22 “Look, ___!” I said to Mr. Idle in the haberdashery 24 Earth extremities 84 86 25 “Look, ___!” 88 I said to Ms. 89 Carter at the rodeo 90 27 Type of cuckoo 91 28 Dove sound 92 29 Run ___ 95 (deteriorate) 97 31 Miffed 33 Credit come-on: ___ payment 99 36 Bonet et al. 40 “Look, ___!” I said to Ms. Rice in the woods 101 43 “Look, ___!” 102 I said to Mr. 105 Carney at the 107 office 47 Navy negative 112 48 Land parcel 113 52 Actress Christine 53 ___-nous 116 55 1977 film, Welcome ___ 57 Baseball info 58 Indian, e.g. 120 59 Blow it? 1
2
3
4
14
“Look, ___!” 121 I said to Mr. Kingsley in math class 125 Heart chart Earth starter Sausage guy Exhausts 127 “Look, ___!” I said to Ms. Hunt at the picnic ___ many 128 (tavern no-no) Kind Evinrude of outboard 129 fame 130 Bar code: abbr. 131 “Look, ___!” I said to Mr. Rose as he lost another 1 pool game 2 Earth sci., perh. 3 Punch bowl need 4 Nth: abbr. 5 You Bet Your Life 6 host 7 Stop the car 8 From Iran or Iraq 9 Olympics city 10 Wake up 11 “Look, ___!” I said to Ms. Ryan 12 13 at the reception 15 desk “Look, ___!” 16 I said to Mr. 18 Buchanan as 19 I cut a piece 20 Perfect places 21 Get rid of 23 Turin dough 26 The Sizzling 30 Sixties, e.g. 32 Service troupe 34 Govt. air 35 freshener? 37 “Look, ___!” 38 I said to Mr. Biondi, hoping 39 he'd leave 41 Entebbe raid 42 figure 5
6
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MM#6181
Strong Hands with a Gentle Touch
resume with a cover letter to:
7 days! 9am-5pm, $40 A Warm Lotion Kassey@cltampa.com. Use subject
813.990.7488
817.228.2990
LIFE IS GOOD!
A TRULY IMMACULATE LUTZ ESTATE
LOCATED IN SANCTUARY AT LIVING STON! 4 CG & An ABUNDANCE of windows. Ornate formal rooms w/ TRAVERTINE & CROWN MOLDING. FR w/ stone FP, LUXURIOUS KITCH EN, GRANITE COUNTERS, CUSTOM CABINETRY, PENDENT LIGHTING, butler’s pantry, wine cellar, & GAS COOK TOP. OFFICE, Master BR FP, pool access, & custom walk in closet.. Master BA w/DOUBLE SINK huge SHOWER & TUB. All BR’s w/ large walk in closets. LARGE MEDIA ROOM w/ bar & PATIO, POOL & SPA Offered at $1,290,000
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John LaRocca REALTOR®
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Johncltampa.com LaRocca REALTOR® | APRIL 2-8, 2020 | 39