Fifteen things
SPRING
to do in the Detroit area when you’re
stoned
n Level up at an arcade MARVIN'S MARVELOUS MECHANICAL MUSEUM, 31005 Orchard Lake Rd., Farmington Hills; 248-626-5020; marvin3m.com PINBALL PETE'S, 1214 S. University Ave., Ann Arbor; 734-213-2502; pinballpetes.org
Few things go together as naturally as weed and video games. No, seriously. It’s like whoever invented the video game was probably high. OK — so we cannot confirm that physicist William Higinbotham developed a simple ping-pong-like game that wasn’t Pong (that came out 20-some years later) while under the influence of sweet, sweet cheeba, but we absolutely can attest to the fact that playing arcade games of any kind while high is one of the purest joys in life, especially at either of these metro Detroit arcade institutions.
n Hotbox your car at the drive-in FORD-WYOMING DRIVE-IN, 10400 Ford Rd., Dearborn; 313-846-6910; forddrivein.com
Driving and consuming marijuana is not legal, folks. And yes, that goes for the discreet vapes and edibles, too. However, what happens in your car at the 70-plus-year-old Ford-Wyoming Drive-in stays in your car at the Ford-Wyoming Drive-in. (That is, until you exit your vehicle to snag some optional concession munchies.) All tickets include two movies, which means more time to get and tay high. Just don’t forget to turn your headlights off, stoner.
n Indulge in some disc golf
Listen, some clichés are clichés for a reason. Case in point, weed smokers and disc golf — and there’s nothing wrong with slipping on some Birks and hitting one or more of metro Detroit’s many disc golf courses. New to being a proper stoner? Disc golf is a combination of frisbee and golf, but it’s usually in the woods, where no one can hear you toke.
Since Michigan legalized recreational marijuana for adult use in 2018, every day is 4/20, and for that we feel #blessed. That’s right, folks. We’re stoners, we’re proud, and we’re ... bored? But not for long — take your high to new heights with some of these metro Detroit activities that will not only enhance your buzz but might put an end to those boredom blues.
n Go crate-digging
Metro Detroit is home to some essential record shops for people of all budgets, backgrounds, and musical persuasions. You can blaze up and go crate digging, or save your stash for when you have some new vinyl to sway to, you beautiful dang hippie you.
n Pretend you know what art means DETROIT INSTITUTE OF ARTS, 5200 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-833-7900; dia.org
Did you know Pablo Picasso smoked weed? OK — so that really isn’t all that surprising. When you look at his work it actually makes sense, which is why you might want to consider getting high before snagging a ticket for the Detroit Institute of Arts. Of course, we are asking you to be respectful when doing so, meaning no licking creamy and tempting marble statues, no screaming at contemporary art you don’t understand, no laughing at weird nude bodies, and absolutely no pretentious commentary of any kind — stoned or not, that shit is annoying. Just surround yourself with beautiful things, timeless works of art, and mind-blowing artifacts.
20 | METROTIMES | City Guide 2022 | metrotimes.com
n Put the green in Dequindre Cut Greenway 1776 Woodbridge St., Detroit; detroitriverfront.org
You won’t believe this, but weed and walking go really well together. No, like, so well that exercise — like walking or biking — releases endorphins, and cannabis tends to heighten what’s happening in the body. So, why not conduct an experiment by getting high and strolling the Dequindre Cut Greenway? You know, for science. Long a haven for graffiti writers and street artists, the two-mile greenway connecting the East Detroit Riverfront, Eastern Market, and some residential areas is a below-street level pedestrian paved path, primed for pot-smoking.
n Unleash your superhuman munchies
If weed were a food it would probably be pizza, because pizza, unlike most foods, is fucking perfect and literally no one can tell us otherwise. Actually, Detroit-style pizza is perfect, and if we weren’t on a super chill indica at the moment we might actually fight the haters. Instead of hating anything (well, except for olives or pineapple as toppings
