CHEST of HOPE ISSUE 1/SEPTEMBER 2022 TRANSFORMING LIVES MERLYN MERLYN MERLYN
Contents ProjectDevelopment Dalila's Story by Jessica Alfaro Message From The Executive Director Merlyn Pittman, Founder and Executive Director of Chest of Hope WorkNet Works For All Division Manager, Belinda Petate Chan discusses the benefits of WorkNet BusinessDevelopment Partners in Hope by Gerilyn Martin Featherston Cover Story: Transforming Lives An Interview With Founder and Executive Director, Merlyn Pittman Talking Divorce From An Abuser With Your Kids By Amanda Kippert, reprinted with permission. 05 06 07 11 15 19 Legislating Hope, Transforming Lives Through Legislation Legislative Update On SB 1141, Coercive Control 20 Hector John Joins Chest of Hope The new Marketing Director is bringing a fresh approach to CoH's fundraising efforts 22 23 24 04 Ron Freitas-All Roads Lead to Justice DA Elect Ron Freitas on crime and cure in San Joaquin County Finance Corner Christina Wyatt on Using a Coach to Gain Financial Success InOurCommunity 06 Do NOT Miss Events
Merlyn Pittman
FROM
EXECUTIVE
Thanks to our employees, partners, and members, we have exceeded our mission to empower and transform the lives of women and individuals in mind, body, and spirit Every day we face a different challenge, and we rise to the occasion Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior characterized by the intent to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner or another family member(s)
. Abuse can be established over time, and in most cases, it begins subtly with insults, a shove, or alienating the survivor from family and friends With time, the abusive behavior can be more frequent and severe This month, Chest of Hope embarks on a new journey, sharing highlights of our community and all it encompasses “It takes a village” and, might I add, a county and oftentimes, our state to help us achieve our mission Chest of Hope Magazine will share stories, trends, happenings, and more! So welcome to our new Chest of Hope Magazine. I hope you will enjoy our first edition and return for subsequent editions. As always, thank you for your support. Domestic Violence affects “EVERYONE”. Our society needs to become more open about discussing this sensitive topic
When I founded Chest of Hope Inc. 18 years ago in my family kitchen in Hayward, California, I had no idea we would evolve to this level It has indeed been a journey to remember. This past year, we celebrated ten years of assisting victims of abuse and human trafficking
Founder & Exec. Director Chest of Hope A MESSAGE OUR DIRECTOR
In a recent interview with San Joaquin County Worknet, Belinda Petate Chan, who serves as the Division Manager for San Joaquin County Employment and Economic Development Department in Stockton, explained, “WorkNet has five centers in San Joaquin County, including two in Stockton, one in Lodi, one in Manteca, and one in Tracy. They are all subject to rules of the Federal and State. Regardless of circumstances, anyone can participate in the program if they meet the eligibility requirements.” Petate-Chan explained that low-income earners, terminated, lay offed, and dislocated workers typically qualify for the services. WorkNet provides orientation in the form of an 8 minute video; basic career services, such as access to computers, help with resumes, help with finding employment, and more. To learn more about San Joaquin County WorkNet and how they can help you find employment, please watch their 8 minute orientation video: http://www.sjcworknet.org/download/WN Orientation%20Video/WNOrientati on.mp4
With a workforce of 339,200, the latest unemployment numbers for San Joaquin County hovers around 5.7%, according to the latest report from the California Economic Labor Department. While many are still recovering from the loss of income initiated by the impacts of COVID 19, agencies like WorkNet have remained steadfast in their efforts to support those ready to enter the workforce.
WORKNET WORKS FOR ALL
If you are interested in becoming a member of their program, please download and complete the following packet: http://www.sjcworknet.org/pdfs/Welcome%20To%20WorkNet%20Packet FR 2021.pdf
Aside from being one of California's most in demand glam makeup artists, Hector John's remarkable influence, marketing, fundraising, and event planning skills make him highly sought after in both the public and private sectors
As Chest of Hope expands its facilities and programming, Cardoza plans to organize many events and activities to help bring more awareness to Chest of Hope's mission of supporting victims of domestic violence and human trafficking in San Joaquin County "I am excited to bring a new vision as we celebrate ten years of transforming lives and creating hope for women and children that we are helping out of toxic environments and bringing them into a positive lifestyle My job as a Marketing Director is to bring in new sponsors and donors, create fundraising events, and get Chest of Hope to be more interactive in the community."
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Hector JOhn JOins CoH
In August, the Chest of Hope announced that Tracy native Hector John, a multi talented entrepreneur, has signed on as its new Marketing Director!
Hector John is well known in the Tracy community as a man of many talents
Ron Freitas is the new District Attorney Elect for San Joaquin County. A veteran prosecutor with the District Attorney’s office for over 30 years, there is very little that Freitas has not seen in the criminal realm.
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In the last several years, human trafficking has become more prevalent in the valley, and the COVID 19 pandemic has increased domestic violence. Freitas spoke about his plans for addressing these crimes. “We have a lot of plans, especially in those areas. We think a well balanced approach education, early intervention, and enforcement reflects our communities values and brings common sense to law enforcement and public safety in our community. One educating the public that this is taking place. That this isn’t something that only happens on a television show. It is happening in our community. Two-intervention. Getting people out of the system early before they are so entrenched that we can’t save them. And three, for those who do prey on our community, upon our children, we do have enforcement for those individuals who want to stay criminally involved.”
123 Anywhere St , Any City hello@reallygreatsite 1com 23 456 7890
The Hector John brand meeting the Chest of Hope brand won't be without its challenges. Cardoza explained, "At the moment, many people in our community do not necessarily know that we exist, even in the broader San Joaquin area, and we service all of San Joaquin County. I am very surprised that we ' ve been here for ten years already, and many community members do not know about us. Bringing more awareness, getting out there, speaking up, and asking for help from my fellow community business partners and leaders is what I'm looking to do. I've been involved with non profits for over ten years, and I am really excited to work with Merlyn Pittman. I've known her for many years. I know her vision, and I am excited to help make her vision become a reality."
(Hector John, continued from Page 6)
Cardoza shared his thoughts about how community members can help by becoming community partners with Chest of Hope. “Chest of Hope is launching a new magazine in September. The magazine will cover the latest news and events happening with Chest of Hope, articles surrounding domestic violence, and human trafficking legislation There is an opportunity for businesses and organizations to purchase ad space in the magazine, which does help businesses get their names and events out there, but also is a beautiful way to help Chest of Hope cover the cost of its programs and reach our expansion goals. We also have plenty of volunteer opportunities for college students in need of internships or volunteer hours. Even just spreading the word about our mission and purpose is very helpful.”
Cardoza concluded by saying, “ I look forward to seeing you all at our fundraisers throughout the year If you are interested in partnering with us, please contact me I am always available” Hector John can be reached by email at: hectorjohn@chestofhopeorg
Cardoza spoke about the harsh realities of domestic violence and human trafficking but wants the organization to share more about the beautiful parts of overcoming the crisis, “People think of Chest of Hope and domestic violence and human trafficking as scary which it is, hard to deal with But the recovery part, the part where courage is used to leave a toxic relationship or escape that environment, become a changed person, living their best life is a beautiful story to share, too”
“This is a great place to live There is no reason for this community to be on the Worst Five List in the nation With our central location, airport, unique delta, business opportunities, great educational system, housing, and people, we should be on everyone ’ s top ten list of places to be We are close to the ocean and the mountains; This is a fantastic and special place! For those individuals who come here to commit crimes, this is a new day in San Joaquin County and will not be tolerated anymore The community has voiced its desire for change; We are more than happy to be the vehicle to help law abiding individuals, businesses, and schools so we can all succeed and make this the great place it hasthepotentialtobe” (ContinuedonPage13)
Photo Credit: The Record
Freitas also spoke about how important it is that victims are not criminalized and get the help and support they need “This is really important to us Because we were very aggressive with it, we were endorsed in our campaign by three statewide organizations that fight for victims' and victims' rights: Crime Victims United, Crime Victims Alliance, and Crime Victims for Law and Order And these are State organizations that take on the victims' plight. We want to bolster our victims' voices, and we ’ re looking to form more coalitions so that our victims and what happens to them will have a louder voice in the community, and we can better serve them with more dignity and respect The transition team has some things in play We will have announcementsinour100 dayplanthatwilltakeVictimServices toanewlevel,bolstersuccessfulthingsthatwehaveinplace,like the Family Justice Center, and make our victim’s voices that muchlouderinthecommunityandthroughouttheState”
(Freitas, continued from Page 7)
The new DA elect expressed his love for the communities throughout San Joaquin County, sharing that he and his wife have raised their children and grandchildren here He also had a message for those who may believe that they can come into San Joaquin County and commit crimes
Many San Joaquin County residents think that human trafficking does not occur in small towns. Freitas wants to make it clear that human trafficking does happen here “It’s here, and it’s horrible Lives are lost to it In the juvenile division, at a very young age, we see that gangs have figured out that human trafficking is a way for them to make an easy buck It’s very rarely prosecuted So, they can do this with impunity, and they don’t care about the lives they ruin. So it is here. We have to be diligent and aggressive to ensure that our children do not become a partofthisanddonotfallpreytothesepredators.”
It’snotsurprisingthatthelogoforChestofHope
isapurpleheart
MERLYN PITTMAN
TRANSFORMING LIVES
Chest of Hope’s humble beginnings began in Hayward, CA. Pittman recalled one Christmas when the Hayward Police Department called and said they had toys for the kids. Pittman exclaimed, “We don't have a shelter” Another time, a supporter from Sacramento reached out looking for ChestofHope’sshelterlocation Atthatpoint, Pittman began noticing that the need for services was so great that a shelter location wasnecessary Now headquartered in Tracy, California, Chest of Hope has since amended its purpose, focusing its mission on supporting survivors of domestic violence and human trafficking through a comprehensive program that offers housing, counseling, legal assistance, parenting classes, financial literacy training, and more Pittman discussed the hesitancy of abuse survivors to come forward to ask for help in smaller communities (ContinuedonPage12)
Afterall,ittakessomeonewith a really big heart to take on some of the challenges that Chest of Hope has since it was established nearly 20 years ago In 2005, Merlyn Pittman, Founder and Executive Director for Chest of Hope, recognized a global need to support orphaned children and women who were abused Calls would come in from around the globe “Initially, when Chest of Hope was formed,wewereassistingorphans Thatwasour main focus and some women who were victims on a global level We would get calls Nigeria might call for a bag of rice. Kosovo may need some type of assistance, and that’s what we were doing. Suddenly the calls switched, and it was women looking for shelter. We could not, NOTanswerthosecalls.”saidPittman.
TRANSFORMING LIVES
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Pittman stated. In December 2021, Chest of Hope celebrated 10 years of “transforming lives and creating hope”forhundredsofsurvivors,primarilywomen, and children, who have benefitted from the organization's host of services When asked about the rewards and challenges of operating Chest of Hope, Pittman answered enthusiastically, “To see the outcome after they have stayed with us after some time They show thanks They say, ‘’Thank you for being there Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for takingachanceonme.Thankyouforbeingwho youare.Thosekindsofthings.”
discipline in their lives, and that is a key struggleformostofthem Butwhenthey come here, there is structure Once they can get past that, it’s easy sailing Some of them go on to school or get jobs and placesoftheirown”
“They may even call the national domestic hotline before calling a local agency because we are in a close knit community and do not want others to know their business One of the things we pride ourselves on is keeping our women very secure. Privacy is very important because we would want any individual to walk with their heads held high at any given time, whether they are in our homes or not.”
“Some women start the program being rebellious because they feel the rules are too strict One of the rules that I adhere to is that clients may never disrespectthestaff.That’sadealbreaker for me. Some people want to fight the staff, and that’s not the kind of home we ’ re running. We’re not a religious home,butweareahomewithrulesand discipline.Alotoftimes,theyarelacking
Pittmansaysthateverywoman’sexperienceand support response after a crisis differs and that Chest of Hope’s program is supportive but comeswithbasicrules
Chest of Hope is unique because it is the onlyorganizationinSanJoaquinCountythat operates three transitional homes, two (2) family homes, and one for single women With regard to challenges, Pittman sighed, “It’s always the finances for me The things thatChestofHopewouldliketoaccomplish, we are not there yet ” Citing the growing need for more housing for survivors, Pittman says that one of her goals is to open an emergency shelter for women and children whoaresurvivorsofabuse.
Freitas, continued from Page 10
To learn more about District Attorney-Elect, Ron Freitas, please visit: https://ronfreitas.com/ Inclosing,Freitasremarked,IlovehowMerlyntookthisuponherselftofillthis needwithoutwaiting.TherearesomanyproblemsthatSacramentoaddress that are L.A’s problems and may be somehow tailored to help us out here. Our community is going to have to solve our problems. And Chest of Hope is the perfect way of doing it They didn’t sit around They didn’t wait for a grab Theydidn’twaitforlegislation.Theyjustsaid,“thisisaneed,anditneedstobe done.”This“cando”attitude,Iseeitallacrossourcommunitynow,andIseeit growing. If there is anything we can do to work with our stakeholders public, private,charitable;Ifwecanallgetonthesamepageworkingtogether,that’s very, very important to me, and it’s going to be the mission of the District Attorney’sOffice.”
It may seem obvious but beginning with the truth is widely agreed to be the best first step A protective parent might think it’s best to shield their child from the truth about domestic violence, but being honest with your children in age appropriate terms they can understand will likely help them feel a greater sense of safety in the long run
Children often feel some responsibility for the abuse, so it’s important to explain that abuse is a choice the abusive parent makes, and it’s because of this choice that you ’ ve decided to live separately Daddy has a hard time controlling his anger Hurting people is not OK We deserve to live in a home where we feel safe
By Amanda Kippert, Reprinted With Permission
4 Steps to Talking Divorce from an Abuser With Your Kids
“There is a natural tendency to minimize the fact that children are affected by domestic violence,” Betsy McAlister Groves, founding director of the Child Witness to Violence Project at Boston Medical Center told DomesticShelters org “Young children are more aware than we, as adults, usually think they are However, that doesn’t mean they understand what’s going on ”
1 Start With the Truth For many domestic violence survivors, ending a relationship with an abusive partner means also going through a divorce And when little ones are involved, it can be tough to know how to talk to kids about this big change, especially after they’ve endured the trauma of abuse So, how do you start this difficult conversation?
Children may also feel conflicted about continuing t o love the abusive parent Reassuring children they are allowed to have more than one feeling is OK I understand you still love your dad It’s OK We can also be upset when he doesn’t make good choices Depending on the situation, professional counseling may benefit the protective parent and children to help sort through the complex emotions that can arise after domestic violence
3 Prepare Yourself for Push-Back, Confusion Be prepared for some push-back from your children They may not understand why a divorce or order of protection is necessary and may even lash out at the protective parent This is their way of coping with trauma and change, so try not to take it personally Continue to enforce healthy boundaries and encourage children to work through strong emotions in other ways, such as writing, drawing or talking to another trusted person in their life (a good friend, a grandparent, a school counselor, etc ) Patience is especially important at this time
When breaking the news to your kids that a divorce is happening, it may be helpful to prepare in advance what you want to say Consider breaking down the conversation in a few points:
Prepare them for how much time they may be able to see the other parent
2 Prepare the Child for Changes to Come
4 Find Resources, Apps That Can Help DomesticShelters.org offers resources for parents to help kids cope with domestic violence and divorce. Check out these articles on: The popular children’s program Sesame Street offers a divorce app that can help younger kids especially understand and process divorce You can download it here Sesame Street also offers free worksheets and other printables surrounding divorce It’s important to note that these tools focus on the general topic of divorce and do not specifically discuss the challenges present when domestic violence is occurring or has occurred You should tailor the information as you see fit to help children understand their unique circumstances To read the original article or learn more tips regarding children and domestic abuse, please visit https://www domesticshelters org/articles/children and domestic violence/talking to young kids about divorce?utm source=newsletter&utm medium=email&utm campaign=july12: (Talking
Divorce...continued from Page 15)
If there is a protection order in place, be honest with your children that they won’t be able to see the other parent during that time because you want to keep them safe Read, “Safety Planning With Your Kids” to learn more about involving them in safety planning
Explain what divorce means Emphasize it is not the child’s fault Provide reassurance that they are loved
Helping kids understand domestic violence with picture books Teaching children that violence is wrong Explaining domestic violence to kids Understanding how exposure to trauma affects kids Breaking the cycle of violence
Walk them through what parts of their family will now look different (e g , a parent living somewhere else) Tell them what will stay the same (e g their school, friends, extended family, pets)
Allow them to ask questions
Pittman shared that there is still much more she’d like to accomplish before retiring “I didn’t just wake up one day and say I’m going to save thesewomenortheworld Inmyformercareer,I was a correctional officer for women serving life in prison They were never going to see the light of day They were independent women of worth But they were abused, and the one time they chose to defend themselves, it ended in fatality, andtheyendedupinprison.Pittmansharedthe storyofaninmatewhowasimprisonedbecause she walked in on her boyfriend sodomizing her nephewandkilledherboyfriend.
She received a life sentence. When asked what more she thinks could be done in the justice system to help protect victims of abuse from becoming prisoners due to crises like the one described, Pittman responded,“Thelawsneedtoberevised As much as we are advocates assisting these women in crises, from the top, someone needs to take a look and see what’s going on Legislationneedstochange”
Chest of Hope is unique because it is the only organization in San Joaquin County that operates three transitional homes, two (2) family homes, and one for single women With regard to challenges, Pittman sighed, “It’s always the finances for me The things that Chest of Hope would like to accomplish, we are not there yet ” Citing the growing need for more housing for survivors,Pittmansaysthatoneofhergoals istoopenanemergencyshelterforwomen andchildrenwhoaresurvivorsofabuse
When asked how the community can help Chest of Hope achieve its goals, she responded, "The community may not supportmefinancially,butwhentheirfamily andfriendsareincrisis,Iamthefirstperson theyrunto
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The emergency shelter would allow a stay for 30 45 days “Coming out of the recent housing crisis, it has been challenging finding a home because one of the things we cannot do with grant money is to purchase a home. It’s forbidden. Our fundraising goal for this year and next is to acquire land. We are spending too much money on rent with these various homes scattered all over the place. If we have land, we canfundraise,andhopefully,thecommunitycan support that move for us We have a whole blueprintsetupalready It’sjustthefinances”
People need to be aware that the woman in crisis is not just “other women ” it could be your mother. Your daughter. It could be your niece or your nephew. It’s all of our business. If you hear or see something, say something. It could save a life. Abuse is not a water cooler topic, but it’s realistic”
Pittman encourages the community to learn more about Chest of Hope by visiting the website or speaking with a staff member She shared that grant money is often spoken for by the programs they operate and that Treasure Chest Thrift Store, owned by the organization, helps supplement some of their additional expenses. However, monetary support from the community is always appreciated. In her many years of working in the non profit industry, Pittman reflected on what her time in service to others has taught her “I just want women to be more sensitive to the needs of each other and look beyond the facade of the smile. In this field, I have learned that the person who talks the loudest and laughs the loudest is the person who is hurting the most and is covering up ” For more information about Chest of Hope and the programs offered to support survivors of domestic violence and human trafficking, please visit chestofhope.org or call 209.831.7889.
We host events, booths at other venues, and donation boxes in partner stores to raise funds and awareness. We also have a thrift store, Treasure Chest Thrift, at 126 W. 11th Street in Tracy to help with funding which is another way of helping us move forward in our mission. We take gently used items to sell that help us fund programs for adults, teens, and children of Domestic Violence and Human Trafficking But we need more help; that is where donors and sponsors come in. If you want more information on becoming a community partner with Chest of Hope, please visit our website www chestofhope org or call us at 209 831 7889. I utilize the stories of the graduates from our programs without names to enlighten and educate our sponsors, donors, and volunteers to underline our need for funds Chest of Hope needs an emergency safe house and two more transitional homes to provide shelter and resources for the survivors waiting to get into our programs PARTNER
IN HOPE
GERILYN MARTIN-FEATHERSTON We appreciate our community partners like the Grocery Outlet in Tracy, CA. who help us with supplies for our transitional housing programs.
BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT A
Dalia’s story started in Mexico, where she grew up with friends from childhood. One such friend traveled to the U.S., and upon his return back, years later, their friendship blossomed into romance, ultimately insisting that they tie the knot. He wanted to get her to the U.S., which to Dalia seemed heaven sent.
Our Hope Cottage Transitional Housing Program is designed to help our residents recover by providing safe and comfortable living spaces and supplying them with the necessities to succeed Chest of Hope’s program provides housing to its residents for 9 12 months with an array of classes to help our clients regain their sense of self and independence. The case manager can assist residents with things such as employment, schooling, and/or goal setting.
HIGHER HOPES
Jessica Alfaro Dalila's Story
Little did she know what lay in store for her! She soon realized that her papers for legitimizing her stay were not happening Furthermore, her role was more of a caregiver, nursing her husband through surgeries while he carried on relationships outside their marriage With no knowledge of English/ limited resources/money, she felt the walls closing in on her Her husband added to her woes by having her sign papers annulling their marriage as he had plans to get married to someone else About to give up on everything, including life, she found the Chest of Hope “I am blessed with the compassion shown by the staff at Chest of Hope. Because of them, I had a chance of getting my life back.” Domestic Violence affects all levels of society and abuse comes in many ways and forms. Dalia’s story is just one of the many stories out there where the outcome turned out positive.
Legislating Hope Domestic Violence: SB1141 Coercive Control SB 1141 is designed to expand California’s Family Code It would specifically name “coercive control” as one of the types of abuse that California recognizes as a reason to give someone a domestic violence restraining order against another person The bill defines coercive control as “ a pattern of behavior that unreasonably interferes with a person ’ s free will and personal liberty and includes, among other things, unreasonably isolating a victim from friends, relatives, or other sources of support ” For support, please visit chestofhope org or call 209 831 7889 To learn more about the bill, please visit: https://leginfo legislature ca gov/faces/bill TextClient xhtml?bill id=201920200SB1141 Transforming Legislation To Transform Lives
A Christina Wyatt recently addressed an audience of women at Safeway’s “Women On The Move” conference, where the theme was empowering women in mental, physical, and financial health Wyatt, a Financial Advisor, spoke about financial literacy and the importance of having a financial foundation and being financially prepared Wyatt explained how different women spoke at the conference and shared their stories and expressed appreciation for Safeway providing a platform for women to have the discussion “I appreciate and value Safeway for doing that for women and offering it to them because not many companies do that, and I think it's an important focus for women rightnow” Wyatt shared her advice for women who are trying to find themselves and gain financial independence after coming out of an abusive relationship: "They need to know their financial picture They have to know where they’re at and where they want to go That’s the important part of having a financialcoach It’sjustlikegoingtothegym, and there’s workout equipment; You may not know what to do with it, but having someone coaching you and keeping you accountable can help you reach those financial goals sooner.
Finance Corner
To reserve a complimentary virtual Financial Overview with Christina Wyatt, please send an email request to wyatt4love@gmailcom or call 2092296569
Wyatt stated that she offers complimentary financial overviews held over Zoom. “They are weekly.Icanbecontactedtoscheduleonewith anyone, and I don’t charge anyone for my service. I have a goal of helping one hundred families by the end of September, teaching financial literacy” During the COVID 19 pandemic, many found themselves forced out of work As things begin to return to a sense of normalcy, Wyatt was asked her thoughts on those who feel hesitant about returning to the workplace and are considering working for themselves “I actually fired my boss in 2020, right in the middle of this pandemic It was the biggest risk that I took, but it was the best decision that I’ve made It is hard, but if you are focused and determined and know what you want, there is support out there, not only with mebutthroughtheChamberandpeoplewithin the Tracy community. If there are goals and dreamsthatyouhave,definitely,goforthem.
DO NOT MISS INOURCOMMUNITY COMMUNITYEVENTS
DO NOT MISS INOURCOMMUNITY COMMUNITYEVENTS
DO NOT MISS INOURCOMMUNITY COMMUNITYEVENTS
