Chest of Hope Magazine

CHEST of HOPE

ISSUE 11/September 2023

COHDoes NNO STOCKTON

JUSTICE AT WORK FOR VICTIMS & SURVIVORS

WARNING SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE PERSON

MichelleBillingsisanartistandReikiMaster atMyRelax-ologylocatedinTracy,CA.

Michelleenjoyshelpingpeople inourcommunityby balancingmind,body,andspirit throughReiki,healingoils,crystals,andjewelry. Shehasservedintwoschooldistrictsasaparentliaison onvariousPTAboardsand assistedinstartingaparentroom,artprogram andfoodbankatschoollocations. Shehasalwaysbeencharismatic andhasaheartforwantingtohelpinhercommunity.

Secretary

WHAT IS HOUSING TO THE HOMELESS?

BY CELIA MASON

A place to live or where you live?

A house must have a Foundation. You say, "What is a Foundation?"

An organization? Maybe, but in this case, it is a Home. Chest of Hope, the founder of Hope's Place, has been formulated since 2011. The vision is Hope, which is a solution to a problem.

Our Foundation includes education, that is, learning coping skills. Intervention, which includes In-House Master Counseling Representatives. Support, which includes Housing. Housing is Supporting Quality Living!

InCalifornia,approximately⅓of all women and a ¼ of all men have been impacted by domestic violence. In San Joaquin County, where Chest of Hope provides support and resources to victims of domestic violence and human trafficking daily, those numbers are equally dismal, with 1,342 cases of domestic violence cases filed in 2021, 6% of those classified as felony domestic or familyviolencecases

Domestic violence can have lasting impacts and negatively affect every aspect of an individual’slife,includingwork.

JUSTICE AT WORK FOR VICTIMS & SURVIVORS

By Staff Writer

California is one of a small, growing number of states that have enacted domestic violence leave laws California companies with 25 or more employees must abide by California Labor Code 230, which allows victims of domestic violence to take time off of work, with “reasonable accommodations” to acquire domestic-violence-related servicessuchas:

temporary restraining orders, restrainingorders, mentalhealthtreatment, medicaltreatmentor time in a domestic violence shelter.

Reasonable accommodations could meanthefollowing:

changing the employee’s work schedule, installing locks on the employee’s door, changingworktelephonenumbers, transfertoadifferentjobordifferent location,or other changes that would help protecttheemployeewhileatwork

The State of California is unique in that it allows an employer to request a temporary restraining order on behalf ofthevictim Itisagainstthelawforan employer to retaliate against an employee for making a request or taking domestic violence leave For more information about California’s Domestic Violence Leave Law, please followthelinktoreadtheentirelaw https://wwwdircagov/dlse/victims of domestic violence leave noticepdf

By Jessica Alfaro

WARNING SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE PERSON

By Wanda Irish

The internet is filled with a plethora of information about how one knows if they’re in an abusive relationship. Why am I finding very few facts about the abuser? Shouldn’t they be called out on their faults, warning the less knowledgeable of the obvious signs of said abuser? I, like a lot of women I know, can share our stories of who, when, and how we felt violated and shamed by our abuser. But very few stories share how they wished that someone had given them the secrets of how to avoid that scary situation. No matter how candid the stories would have been, I wished someone had shared them Well, the internet has evolved a bit, and now one can find some facts on the tell-all signs of the future abuser Mothers and fathers, please share these with your daughters/sons, nieces/nephews, and granddaughters/grandsons. After all, they are our future and deserve a fighting chance to have a healthy relationship.

The Portland WomenStrength Program provided the following information.

1. Jealousy and Possessiveness. Wants to be with you constantly. Accuses you of cheating all the time. Follows you around and frequently calls. Ask friends to check up on you.

2. Controlling Behavior. Constantly questions who you spend your time with, what you did/wore/said, and where you went. Makes you ask permission to do certain things. Acts like you don’t have the ability to make good decisions. Hides controlling behavior by pretending to be concerned for your safety.

3. Quick Involvement. Six months or less before living together or engaged. Claims love at first sight. Pressure for commitment. Says you are the only one who can make him feel this way.

4. Unrealistic Expectations. Compliments you in a way that makes you seem superhuman. Over-flattering. Expects you to be perfect. Says, "I am all you need. You are all I need."

5. Isolation. Puts down everyone you know- friends are either stupid, slutty, or you are cheating with them- family is too controlling, doesn’t really love you, or you are too dependent on them. Refuses to let you use car or talk on the phone. Makes it difficult for you to go to work or school. Tries to cut off all your resources.

6. Blames Others for Problems. If there are problems at school or work, it is always someone else’s fault. If anything goes wrong in the relationship, it is all your fault. Won’t take responsibility for own behavior.

7. Blames Others for Feelings. Tries to make you responsible for how they feel. "You’re making me mad." "You’re hurting me by not doing what I ask." "I can’t help being angry." Won’t take responsibility for own feelings.

8. Hypersensitivity. Easily insulted. Sees everything as a personal attack. Looks for fights. Blows things out of proportion. Unpredictable. You can never tell what will upset him.

9. Disrespectful or Cruel to Others. Punishes animals or children cruelly. Insensitive to pain and suffering. Teases children until they cry. Doesn’t treat others with respect. Dismissive of others’ feelings.

10. "Playful" Use of Force During Sexual Activity. Little concern over whether you want sex or not, and uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance. Makes sexual or degrading jokes about you.

11. Verbal Abuse of Any Kind.

12. Rigid Sex Roles. Believes women are inferior to men. Unable to be a whole person without a relationship.

13. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Sudden mood changes- like they have two personalities. One minute nice, next minute exploding. One minute happy, next minute sad.

14. Past Battering. You may hear the person was abusive to someone else. They say it’s a lie, or their ex was "crazy," or it wasn’t that bad.

15. Threats of Any Kind.

16. Breaking or Striking Objects. Breaks loved possessions. Beats on table with fists. Throws objects.

17. Any Force During an Argument. Pushes, shoves, or physically restrains you from leaving room.

18. Doesn’t Respect Your Property or Privacy.

Local Business Owners Make Great Entrance Into Tracy Community

By Wanda Irish

Chest of Hope couldn’t be prouder of the new store managers at our local Grocery Outlet, here in Tracy, Ca The month of July is a very important time of the year for Grocery Outlet It’s their time of the year for each store manager, to select four local non-profit organizations to showcase their effortsforoneweekinthemonthof July Wejusthappenedtobeoneof the four organizations to be selected It was a perfect time for the new managers, Jerry and Danielle Edmonds to show their community that they truly have compassion for this town They’re very hands on in their store and treat the staff great This place is a muststopforyourgroceryneeds

One part of this fundraising event wasfortheTracystafftorequest$5 donations from their customers in exchangefora$5coupontospend back at the store. The staff felt passionate about our cause and collected donations in the amount of $235, that we were able to purchase supplies from the store, for our three shelter homes We decided to purchase paper towels, dish soap and toilet paper One might think that’s no big deal but, once you’ve been rescued being kepthygienicallyclean,yourareais clean,andyourplatewillnothavea bacteriacreatedonit;onlythencan one understand why we are so grateful for the staff obtaining that amount in just one week. I’m sure these people will carry on doing other great things in their community

JerryandDaniellewereverygenerous,by supportingChestofHopetoholdaHotDog event They supplied us with everything! From the BBQ pit, hot dogs, chips, sodas andallthecondimentsonecouldwanton ahotdog Wehadsuchablast,regardless thatitwaswellover100thatday!Westill madeabout$180insalesanddonations Wetrulyfeltthecompassionfromthestaff andthecommunity.

But what did this weeklong fundraising eventreallymeanforus?Itmeant,atime for us to bring awareness to the community Something that we are very passionateaboutWeweremoreexcitedto bring awareness to others than the generous donations from them We enjoyedmeetingthewonderfulcustomers of our local Grocery Outlet. There were severalofthemthatwewillneverforget They shared personal stories that will alwaysresonatewithusaswecontinueour effortstoendhumantrafficking

EveryJuly,GroceryOutletFightsforIndependenceFrom Hunger Our commitment to community extends well pastourstorefronts Weprideourselvesongivingbackto local communities through our Independence from Hungerfooddrive,supportingover400localpartnersin thecommunitiesweserve Spanningtheentiremonthof July,thecampaigncollectsfoodandcashdonationsinstoreatGroceryOutlet’s400+stores,alongwithonline donations ~StatementfromGroceryOutlet

The Evolution of The Social Dynamic of Domestic Violence Over the Last 50 Years

Communities have changed so much since the 1970s but then again, not much has changed when it comes to social dynamics of domestic violence Back in the days of the rotary phone and no internet, everyone on the block was still aware of each family and how they handled themselves We all knew who had the stay at home and whose parents both worked just to put food on the table By the end of the week, you knew whose house you were staying at the next weekend You also knew what happened at that house behind closed doors No whispering behind each other’s back was necessary, that was your neighbor and you loved them just the same as your own.

However, the repercussion of you watching your best friend’s dad clock their mom in the mouth is something that will never leave your memories. You wish there were something you could do at that moment more than anything else. Do you yell at him to stop? Not in the 1970s; that would be like yelling at your own parents. It would never happen. All I could think of was that I was telling my parents when I got home tomorrow. They’ll know what to do! Well, they didn’t know what quite to do. They had figured there was domestic violence going on, but those were the days when you didn’t call the cops on your neighbors. You tried not to meddle too much on their family values. But this behavior is not good for the neighbors to have to endure.

Years later, that proved to be true My friend was spiraling into depression, and her grades were failing immensely My parents stayed true to neighbors and offered to take her into our home One, to help her get back on track with her education and to witness what a healthy relationship should consist of It’s not all rosy, but with compromise and compassion, it has the ability to sustain a lifetime My friend successfully went on in life to have a healthy relationship that she is still enjoying some 30 years later.

I would like to hold onto the hope that our communities can once again become neighborhoods where we look out for each other, even each other’s children They mock what we all do. Let’s be good adults.

Legislating Hope

Transforming Legislation To Transform Lives

Penalties for Domestic Violence in California

There are significant penalties for domestic violence in California Under Penal Code 273 5, if an individual gets convicted of a misdemeanor, the penalties could include the following:

Up to one year in jail; A fine of $6,000; and Up to three years of probation

If the individual gets convicted of a felony, the penalties could be even more severe For example, the individual could be sentenced to 4 years in prison, or he could be sentenced to 5 years of probation

If someone gets convicted of domestic battery under 243e1, the penalties could include the following:

Up to a year in county jail; Up to $2,000 in fines; and Up to three years of probation

If you or someone you know has been impacted by domestic violence and needs support, please get in touch with Chest of Hope's helpline at 209.259.5552.