DGO: Inside Colorado's Satanic Temple

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DGO

FREE! March 12-25, 2020

Inside

Colorado’s

Satanic Temple

Rituals, Blasphemy, Death Metal, And ... Public Service? dgomag.com

S ATURDAY

•

APRIL 4 • 2 0 2 0

This event is open to all over 21 and FREE of charge. event 11am - 6pm after party 4pm - 6pm

Pick up a map at any participating local dispensaries or in the March 26th edition of DGO. Start your crawl for all the best deals in town! The map will guide you to awesome deals, giveaways, Q&A sessions, and other related events happening throughout the day!

Once your quest is complete, head over to the Cannabis Crawl After Party at 11th Street Station for the Grand Prize drawing of two Dead & Co tickets!

D G O M A G . C O M /C R AW L PRIZE SPONSOR

TITLE SPONSOR

A F T E R PA RT Y SPONSOR

DGO does not endorse consuming of products and crawlers must abide by the law of 1-ounce purchase for the day.

DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 5 Number 6 Thursday, March 12, 2020

Editor

Starfire Optical Range ... no, it’s not something off of Teen Titans. It’s REAL.

Angelica Leicht aleicht@bcimedia.com 375-4551 Staff writer Nick Gonzales ngonzales@durangoherald.com Chandler Sommerfeldt csommerfeldt@bcimedia.com 375-4553 Contributors Erin Brandt Megan Bianco Laraina Hailey Amanda Push

DGO is a free biweekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

DGO Magazine is published

by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

Laws Whiskey 6

Colorado Bud & Breakfasts 7

Get Outta Town 8 Pivot Deck Art 9

10 Internet

Courtesy of Starfire Optical Range

Webcams 10-11 Reviews 18-19

21 Classifieds

375-4570

Jamie Opalenik

Three Barrel Brewing 5

Reader Services

V.P. of Advertising

Eat & Drink

18 Weed

Tracie Louck

Douglas Bennett

5

9 Art

Design/layout

Chief Executive Officer

From the Blog

7 Travel

The Starfire Optical Range at Kirtland Air Force Base in Albuquerque takes your conventional astronomy telescope, dials it up to 11, and WEAPONIZES it.

Sales

4

5 Bob-B-Que pizza and beer at Three Barrel Brewing On my recent trip east, a friend of mine highly recommended stopping at Three Barrel Brewing Co. I’d driven past it many times, but had never thought to drop in. After all, Del Norte is halfway between the craft beer triangle and home sweet home.

6 Laws Whiskey House: A really good Colorado rye If you went back in time to the Revolutionary War and sat down for a stiff drink with General George Washington, you’d probably be sipping a rye whiskey with the future president.

Tell us what you think!

Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know?

Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

MONDAY 4:00PM TO THROUGH FRIDAY 6:00PM

22 Sex & love

10 Webcammin’ ain’t as easy as it looks

23 Puzzles/horoscopes

At first glance, becoming a webcam model sounds easy – you get in front of your computer, go online, take your clothes off for an audience, and get paid for it. But, there are decisions to make and hoops to jump through. art en drin tertai nm km usic ent fo nigh od tlife

DG O

/dgomag

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Mar FRE ch 12 E! -25, 2020

ON THE COVER

In Col side o Sat rado’s a Rit T em nic ual d go ple s, B mag las .com ph

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FROM THE BLOG

»» News from our site on the interwebs you may have missed Why, Emma ... whyyyyy?

presents

Just as with Greta Gerwig’s Little Women only two months ago, when the trailer for Autumn de Wilde’s new interpretation of Jane Austen’s classic romantic comedy “Emma” first dropped; my immediate question was: “why?”

Benefits & Differences of CBD & THC Differences in Strains Cannabis & Chronic Pain Narrowing down what works for you!

direction, costumes and many colorful food decorations during the tea time and dinner party sequences. De Wilde’s vibrant direction, along with Eleanor Catton’s witty script, make for possibly the funniest retelling of Austen’s tale yet.

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be perpetually unmet. How do I keep myself from resenting her for not being more open-minded? Is our marriage doomed? We have a 9-month-old child.

– Churlish About Sudden Turn

You just had a child – because of course you just had a child – which means now is not the time to do anything stupid.

Or rash. And ending your marriage because your wife failed to understand how important your fetish was to you before you understood how important your Goth and Flynn might seem like misfetish was to you would be both stupid casting on paper, but the actress makes and rash. So take a deep breath, help care a surprisingly adorable Harriet, and the actor-musician brings a whole extra level for your baby, and have a conversation of masculinity to Mr. Knightley. Between with your wife the next time she isn’t “Emma,” “Little Women,” and Celine Scia- completely exhausted, CAST, which could mma’s “Portrait of a Lady on Fire,” fancy mean waiting three to six months.

With these quality screen takes to If it’s clear when you talk that she period pieces look to be the go-to genre live up to, can the new movie for a new hates the thought of pulling on a fake cast for female filmmakers today. decade hold on its own?

—— Megan Bianco and watching a movie with you – what It’s 1815 in Austen’s fictional Highyou say you need to be happy – that will bury, England, where 21-year-old Emma come out in the conversation. But if she’s Woodhouse (Anya Taylor-Joy) is pretty, come to understand how important this Cast fetish feelings rich and precocious. She can afford not cast business is to you and how little it I’m struggling and could use some to get married, so rather than waste actually requires of her, please do youradvice. I have a cast fetish – think time looking for a husband she may self, your wife, and your baby a favor and orthopedic casts – and my wife isn’t not love, her primary interest is playing take the yes you’ve always wanted for a interested at all. To be clear, I don’t matchmaker for her friends and acquainwant her to be injured in any way, and I motherfucking answer. tances (and more for her own amuseAnd finally, CAST, I don’t know what certainly don’t want to injure her. I just ment than anything else). Emma’s latest like the idea of her wearing a cast on your dick is telling you right now, but protégé is a new orphan girl in town her leg. just in case it’s telling you there are named Harriet Smith (Mia Goth), who hordes of women out there with cast It’s not even entirely sexual.

If she she feels is in desperate need of some fetishes who are also into recently would just wear a cast for a couple of guidance and social advice. The only single new fathers with child-support hours while we hang out and watch a person who sees through Emma’s façade payments to make, your dick is lying to movie, I’d be happy. and calls her out on her shenanigans you. A new girlfriend, if you can find one, is her brother-in-law’s brother George When we met eight years ago, I was in might wear a cast for you, but she’ll be Knightley (Johnny Flynn). denial about the importance of my fedoing it for the same reason your wife tish, both to myself and to her. I’ve since Bill Nighy co-stars as Emma’s humoris willing to: in order to make your kinky ous father and Miranda Hart is an equally realized that it’s a deal breaker for me, ass happy. amusing Ms. Bates. Like Gerwig, de Wilde and it’s clear we wouldn’t be together —— Dan Savage began her career in a different artistic po- today if I had been aware of the extent of my fetish when we sition before directing films (photography first met and been able to be in the latter’s case). Visually, this Emma honest about it. is straight-up eye candy between the art How many more on-screen versions of this popular tale do we need? Over the decades, we’ve already gotten a dozen or so adaptations that include an impressive feature film starring Gwyneth Paltrow in 1996; a stellar mini-series with Romola Garai from 2009; and arguably the most creative adaptation, when filmmaker Amy Heckerling and starlet Alicia Silverstone modernized the story, set it in a Beverly Hills high school and called it “Clueless.”

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she is. Say what you will about Paltrow’s real-life online presence, but no one was more tailor-made for this character than she was over two decades ago. She effortlessly made the young woman charming and lovely, but just as much privileged as she exudes. Garai and Silverstone did fine jobs of accomplishing these traits as well. Indie film star Taylor-Joy’s delivery has Emma at her brattiest, but not at a disadvantage. In fact, I’d say it makes her character arc by the end even more rewarding.

Similar to Scarlett O’Hara, Emma, as a protagonist, doesn’t exactly have the most likable personality. She can be charismatic and sophisticated, but also unapologetically a brat. The specifics in the portrayal and performance can make all the difference in how appealing

Over the years, we’ve briefly spoken about incorporating it, and we had a single failed attempt a few years ago. I’ve finally come to the realization that this isn’t going to happen without it being forced or coerced. She’s recently offered to participate, but only because she thinks she needs to in order to “save our marriage.”

How do I cope with this?

Obviously, a need of mine will

4 | Thursday, March 12, 2020 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[eat]

Three Barrel Brewing Co. – beer and pizza in Del Norte » Brewery is known for 10-inch wood-fired pies

Taking a seat at the bar, I ordered the “Bob-B-Que” pizza and the brewery’s Espin Bock beer.

Before coming to Southwest Colorado, I spent a bit of time within spitting distance of Kansas City, where I developed a deep love of barbecue pizzas. Now, whenever I see one on a pizzeria’s menu, I have to taste it. Three Barrel’s version was pretty decent. The brewery’s 10-inch pizzas are baked in a wood-fired stove, and the Bob-B-Que had Cattlemen’s BBQ sauce, red onions, pulled chicken and 50/50 cheese.

The sauce, a McCormick product like French’s mustard, wasn’t anything new – you’ve probably had it before; it’s not too sweet, but has a relatively tangy flavor. The pulled chicken, onions, and cheese were good, but not necessarily anything to write home about, in and of themselves. Where the pizza shined, though, was its crust. It was right at that sweet spot where it was neither too oily nor too dry, and the mixture of herbs hit my nose and tongue simulta-

I need to try more of their pizzas (perhaps one featuring Gosar Sausage from Monte Vista), but I suspect that the things I liked about the BobB-Que are true of all of them. Three Barrel also makes calzones, paninis, and strombolis.

As for the beers, the Espin Bock was malty and toasty like you’d expect from a traditional bock.

A collaboration with Colorado Malting Company, down the highway in Alamosa, I expected the beer to be more bitter than it actually was. In addition to the Munich and Chocolate malts, which gave it a bit of a caramel flavor, the beer is bittered with Rocky Mountain Aspen leaves. I don’t know what aspen leaves taste like – that guy you see licking aspen trees up on Coal Bank Pass isn’t me – so for some reason I thought they’d be stronger than they are. If the beer has any sort of woodsy aroma, it isn’t overpowering.

For a second beer, I tried Savvy, the brewery’s rum barrel-aged coconut brown lager – a seasonal variation of its Thursday special coconut brown lager. I’m no stranger to coconut beers ... Oskar Blues’ Death by Coconut Irish porter might be one of my favorite beers on this planet. To the best of my knowledge, every coconut beer I’d previously had was either a porter or a barleywine – strong, bold beers. As such, I was thrown for a bit of a loop by tasting the same flavors on a weaker beer, one more reminiscent of a dunkel.

This is not to say that it was bad ... just different. The hints of rum and coconut made for an interesting dark lager, even if it wasn’t as heavy as my eyes told me it might be.

Ultimately, Three Barrel was worth my stop and is perfectly placed as a dinner break for someone making the drive back to Durango from the Front Range.

Nick Gonzales/DGO

» Above: Three Barrel Brewing Co’s 10-inch wood-fired Bob-B-Que pizza. My favorite part of the pizza was its crust. Left: rum barrel-aged coconut brown lager.

R E C R E AT I O N A L D I S P E N S A R Y

Loyalty Program & Daily Specials!

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GRANDVIEW AREA MAP WIlson Gulch Drive

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Kinfolk Farms

AJ’s Geenhouse Nursery

Three Springs Blvd

On my recent trip east, a friend of mine highly recommended stopping at Three Barrel Brewing Co. I’d driven past it many times but had never thought to drop in.

After all, Del Norte typically finds me halfway between the Arkansas Valley craft beer triangle of Buena Vista, Poncha Springs, and Salida (featuring Eddyline Brewery, Elevation Beer Co., and Soulcraft Brewing, among others) and home sweet home. But my friend extolled Three Barrel’s pizza, so I made a point of trying it out.

neously in a very pleasant way.

East Owen Road

Del Norte – the gateway to the San Luis Valley. For most travelers headed east it’s a crossroads, where you decide if you’re clinging to U.S. 160 all the way to the Front Range or turning north and taking the Gunbarrel (U.S. 285) up to wherever you’re going. But, before choosing your path, there may be places in Del Norte that make this town worth a stop.

Southwest Appliance

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Davidson Creek Road

Stay tuned for exciting event160specials for Cannabis Crawl!

Tokin’ Tuesday - House pre-rolls 4 for $15 and 10% off all other pre-rolls Willie’s Wednesday - 20% of all Willie’s Reserve products Topical/Tincture Thursday - 20% off all salves and tinctures Fly High Friday - 20% off Cartridges an Syringes Smokin’ Saturday - 10% off all Flower Sappy Sunday - 20% off all concentrates

All Items Include Tax · 8am-8pm, Seven Days A Week (970)759-8683 · 83 Davidson Creek Road Durango, CO · https://kinfolk-farms.com/

—— Nick Gonzales

������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, March 12, 2020 | 5

Durango Diaries Season 5

MIND BODY SOUL

Wednesday, March 18 • 6 p.m.

Durango Public Library 1900 East Third Ave.

[drink]

Laws Whiskey House: A Colorado distillery making really good rye from Colorado grains »» Malt suppliers Colorado Malting Co. also

has its own brewery

Local voices. Local stories.

Welcome to Durango Diaries.

A popular buzzword, self care is more than getting a massage. It’s taking care of your mind, body and soul. Three local self-care professionals will share their stories about how they discovered their paths.

Storytellers include: Janet Curry is a licensed professional counselor and a certified mindfulnessbased stress reduction teacher in Durango.

Colleen Rafferty eventually found inner peace by enrolling with the Nutritional Therapy Association and pursuing her dream of becoming a licensed nutritionist.

Courtesy of Laws Whiskey House

»» Laws Whiskey House has won a number

Denver is closed to the public temporarily for renovation, and the barrel house (pictured) is only viewable by appointment. But eventually, the entire operation will open back up with a taproom.

of awards, but both critics and the distillers at laws seem to have a soft spot for its rye whiskey.

If you went back in time to the Revolutionary War and sat down for a stiff drink with General George Washington, you’d probably be sipping a rye whiskey with the future president.

Not only did Washington grow rye at Mount Vernon, it was also the most popular grain for distilling in the United States until Prohibition.

Bif Hilliard danced professionally for many years in Seattle, a passion that naturally led her into the world of yoga. She now teaches dance at Durango Dance and yoga at The Sweaty Buddha.

Durang

Nick Gonzales/DGO

»» The distillery at Laws Whiskey House in

During the 1920s, the palates of Americans softened on bootleg Canadian whiskeys, most of which were lighter and corn-based. For 100 years, rye whiskey languished at the back of the bar until craft distillers began popularizing it again while experimenting with different kinds of malt.

Diaries

TM

Presented By:

In Partnership With:

FREE. Kid-friendly. Info at durangoherald.com/durangodiaries

If you search for rye whiskey around Durango’s bars and liquor stores, you’re likely to run into Laws Whiskey House, one of the best rye whiskey distillers in the world, at least according to Whiskey Magazine, which gave it gold medals in three of the last four years.

The Denver-based distillery began whiskey production in 2011, first hitting shelves in 2014. Its founder and namesake, Al Laws, was an oil and gas

analyst from Edmonton, Canada, who was obsessed with whiskey from an early age. Today, his distillery produces a variety of whiskeys – not just rye. But making rye seems to occupy a special place in Laws’ heart.

“It’s not like bourbon. All those rich peppery notes become something quite different. Ours radiates a vegetative heat like a Serrano pepper. It warms you up if you’re cold or you’re wet,” he said. “It gets right into your bloodstream like the symbiote in Spider-Man. It gets stuck to you and soon it’s in your every heartbeat. It’s an amazing whiskey.”

Laws’ analytical nature and passion for whiskey aren’t the only reasons his distillery keeps winning awards.

He gets by with a little help from his friends.

Law considers his Yoda to be Bill Friel, the former master distiller at Barton 1792 Distillery and a 2006 inductee into the Whiskey Hall of Fame in Kentucky.

Laws met Friel while touring Kentucky, learning about the workings behind large-scale whiskey operations.

Continued on Page 20

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[weed]

Wake and bake your way through these Southwest Colorado bud and breakfasts

3.13

» Smoke ’em if you got ’em in these 420-friendly abodes

WHISKEY TASTING: TX VS. CO

reservations required

reservations required

Amazon Acres on the River Location: Durango, CO This two-bedroom cottage exists on a 10-acre farm outside of Durango.

Not only do the owners grow cannabis, but they raise friggin’ kunekune pigs (if you don’t know what those are, please Google immediately). The property is

3.17

KIDS' NIGHT OUT

3.18

WOLVES VISIT THE MOUNTAIN

COOLER GIVEAWAY

Location: Grand Junction Celestial Rose in Grand Junction is alllllll about making sure your 420 friendly accommodations are top-notch and isn’t afraid to let you know. We gotta say – this might be one of the prettiest houses we’ve laid eyes on, 420 friendly or otherwise. This gorgeous historic property is a far cry from what comes to mind when you think of 420 friendly accommodations. Classy and dreamy, the property is a mere 10 to 20 minute drive to a few local dispensaries. Guests can choose between two rooms, the Luna or the Apollo room. Not to worry though, both are equipped with breathtaking views.

—— Amanda Push

reservations required

with Truly Seltzer

3.21

here in Colorado and the inn is just one block from downtown Ouray. Find yourself in the Outlaw Room, Miner’s Cabin, Box Canyon Suite, or one of the other many rooms. Our only complaint is that the Mustang Room does not come with a mustang, neither in the horse or sports car variety. Pot smoking is allowed inside with a Smoke Buddy or a different air filter approved by inn staff. You can either bring your own Smoke Buddy, or you can purchase/borrow one from the inn.

Celestial Rose Bed + Breakfast

reservations required

3.21

also equipped with a private backyard and access to a five-acre riverfront park.

The owners of this bud and breakfast ask that you please only smoke or vape outside the house and do not feed their animals, no matter how cute they may be.

SNOWBOARD GIVEAWAY

3.21

If you’ve never ventured to the mountain haven that is Ouray, stop what you’re doing and immediately start driving there. Not only is this beautiful mountain town full of breweries, shops, and outdoor activities, but it has a 420 friendly inn! There are eight rooms, each with mountain views you’re looking for

PICASSO & VINO PAINTING PARTY

ly stop in the “Switzerland of America.”

(Courtesy of Ouray Main Street Inn)

Location: Pagosa Springs, CO

Location: Ouray, CO

ALPENGLOW SNOWSHOE TOUR

»» The Ouray Main Street Inn, a 420-friend-

Wilderness Bud and Breakfast

Ouray Main Street Inn

MCDONALD'S CARDBOARD DERBY

3.14

Please, please, please remember to always ask about the property owner’s policy on smoking and vaping before lighting up.

with Sierra Nevada

3.15

However, one of the bummers of staying somewhere other than your humble abode is that a lot of businesses don’t want you toking up in their establishments. Well friends, fear no more. The following are a few 420 friendly places to stay in southern and western Colorado, should you find yourself needing respite from being on the road and from being sober.

SKI GIVEAWAY

3.16

3.14

One of the best parts of taking a trip somewhere is the chance to relax and get away from the hustle and bustle of routine. As good citizens of the green state of Colorado, I think, or at least HOPE, we can all agree that one of the best ways to relax is by smoking doobies.

That’s right – we’re taking a hard stance.

If you’re a stoner on the road but you’re more about that camping out life than staying at a hotel, it’s time to find your way to Wilderness Bud and Breakfast. With some breathtaking mountain views, Wilderness Bud and Breakfast offers teepee and tent sites along the banks of the Rio Blanco. During your stay, you can enjoy amenities such as a continental breakfast, a 420 happy hour, and a campfire area you share with fellow campers. Cannabis use is permitted in the teepees and throughout the campground. The camping season for Wilderness Bud and Breakfast starts in mid-May and goes through September.

Upcoming Events

SNOWCAT DINING EXCURSION

with Ska Brewing

reservations required

Learn More at SkiPurg.com

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[get outta town]

The Starfire Optical Range: Albuquerque’s highpowered telescope and/or death ray

»» Look out, basketball-sized extraterrestrials

• Best selection • Best THC%’s • Educated budtenders

lurking 1,000 miles above us

Come in for GREAT DEALS during Cannabis Crawl!

addition to distorting stars that are light-years away, atmospheric turbulence makes it hard to track objects that are much closer to Earth, such as small satellites.

Courtesy of United States Air Force

»» The Starfire Optical Range shoots three

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lasers at a single point in the sky. While the lasers are probably being used for astronomy in this image, the author wanted to include the caption, “Eat shit, aliens!”

Observatories are inherently cool – they allow humanity to look beyond our terrestrial confines and contemplate the mysteries of the universe.

The Starfire Optical Range at Kirtland Air Force Base in Albuquerque, however, takes your conventional astronomy telescope, dials it up to 11, and WEAPONIZES it.

The facility, which works as a division of the Air Force Research Laboratory’s Directed Energy Directorate, has a primary mission of developing and demonstrating optical wavefront control technologies.

What does that mean in English?

You know how stars seem to twinkle as you stare at them? (If not, surely you’ve heard the 19th century lullaby “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.”) That twinkling is known in scientific terms as scintillation. As the light from a star moves through the various layers of the atmosphere, fluctuations in air density, typically related to temperature gradients, distort the brightness and position of the image you see. In

According to the Air Force, the laboratory’s 11.5-foot-diameter telescope uses a variety of sensors, computers, and flexible mirrors to counteract that turbulence. For instance, to control the temperature in the immediate vicinity of the telescope and to maximize its image quality, the facility is climate-controlled by a system that removes heat using a pit filled with up to 4.5 million pounds of ice. The mirror of the telescope itself weighs 4,500 pounds and its surface has been polished down to 21 nanometers – about 3,000 times thinner than a human hair.

The telescope can aim its lasers near a star in the sky and use the beams to excite molecules and atoms in the air, causing them to glow brightly. The telescope then uses the glowing molecules as points of comparison with which to continuously adjust its mirrors, thereby sharpening the image. This is great for allowing astronomers to look at distant stars, but it can also be used to track something the size of a basketball 1,000 miles away in space.

Once you’ve compensated for atmospheric turbulence to achieve that high level of clarity seeing things – that is, receiving beams of light from the thing you’re looking at – you can also use the same technology to send energy in the opposite direction, turbulence-free.

In other words, you can aim at that basketball floating 1,000 miles away and use the telescope as a sight for a high-powered, directed-energy weapon to vaporize the little orb.

In an interview with the New York Times in 2006, Col. Gregory Vansuch, Continued on Page 20

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[art]

Pivot indigenous skateboard deck art exhibition ollies up to Fort Lewis College

»» Show features works by more than 30 Native American artists, opens March 25 What’s the perfect medium to capture commonalities and differences in Native American art? If you answered “skateboard decks,” you’re ... rather eccentric ... but also correct.

patterns the curators find universal and meaningful.

An exhibition called “Pivot: Skateboard Deck Art” will be opening at Fort Lewis College’s Center for Southwest Studies on March 25.

One meaning, Koyawena said, is recognizing the way that he and other indigenous artists must switch between their cultural traditions and modern society.

The exhibition is the brainchild of Duane Koyawena and Landis Bahe, Hopi-Tewa and Navajo artists respectively. If Koyawena’s name rings a bell, it may be because he’s one of the creators of the Hopi R2 droid (the R2D2 unit decked out like pottery for “The Force Is With Our People”).

“Being Hopi, participating in culture, taking part in ceremonies, planting your cornfields, contributing to your culture in that way, ... we try to keep traditions going,” he said, “but then eventually comes the point where I live in the city.”

Bahe and Koyawena came up with the idea for the Pivot show over their dinner table/workbench. Koyawena had been painting skateboards for art shows for a while, and he and Bahe were both wanting to do something big, different, and impactful. What they settled on was a show featuring their art – and that of other indigenous artists they knew – with the common canvas between them being skateboard undersides.

The first show was held on July 4, 2017 at Tat-Fu Tattoo, Bahe’s tattoo shop in Flagstaff, Arizona. The two had a blast putting together the show, Koyawena said, and it generated a lot of buzz, especially because it involved a number of big name artists. As a result, the director of the Museum of Northern Arizona heard about their show, checked it out, and invited them to turn the one day event into a long-term exhibit at the museum.

The word “pivot” in the name of the exhibition has a number of thematic meanings – beyond being something you can do on a skateboard.

Courtesy of Duane Humeyestewa

»» Choctaw and Spanish artist Felicia Gabaldon stands with boards she painted.

“From that point on it really took off, and my vision for it was just, like, so big,” Koyawena said. “Being involved in a museum, having your own exhibit – that to me is an artist’s dream.”

When it was all said and done, the exhibit collected around 100 pieces of art from more than 30 artists, representing somewhere in the vicinity of 10 different tribes. While many of the artists such as Michelle Lowden (Acoma Pueblo) and Baje Whitethorn Sr. (Navajo) represent cultures of the Southwest, others come from elsewhere, such as Tlingit artist James Johnson, who hails originally from Juneau, Alaska. In addition to the skateboards themselves, the walls of the exhibition have been painted with symbols and

Pivoting is also represented in a visual way by the exhibition’s works, as they show artists adapting traditional art styles to work on a contemporary medium.

“We want to show the honesty of where we’re at as people here. We are basically evolving into whatever it is that we are going to evolve into,” said Bahe. “The generations after us are definitely going to be different. ... We don’t live the way our people did fifteen or twenty years ago. So we represent our lives in a contemporary way – the wall displays, the skateboard decks, but we’re using traditional images that our people have used for, well, I have no idea how long.

But, I’ve heard it said the images have been used since the beginning of time.”

On a personal level, Koyawena said the exhibition honors a time in his life when he had to pivot and shift gears from Continued on Page 20 a lifestyle in

Your cat is definitely going to eat your body after you die facilities where donated bodies are used to study the process of decomposition.

Scientists observe insect activity, climate effect, and how the decomposition impacts the surrounding environment.

The research is especially helpful for law enforcement and forensic science purposes.

You’ve spent years, maybe even decades giving the best care to your feline.

You’ve fed them, cleaned them, taken them to the vet, bought them toys, pet them ceaselessly, and forgave them time and time again for being an asshole.

every whim and need, cry for help or frantically attempt to revive you by licking your blue face? Nah. According to a 2019 study by the American Academy of Forensic Sciences, your cat will probably just eat you ... starting with your arms.

Then, one day, you’re eating a sandwich for lunch at your kitchen table. A chunk of it gets caught in your throat, clogs your windpipe, and you fall to the floor – dead via sandwich. Will your cat, who you’ve spent years catering to their

The study took place at a body farm at Colorado Mesa University’s Forensic Interestingly, this particular study Investigation Research Station. For those happened unexpectedly. The facility is of you who didn’t have a grotesque fassurrounded by a 10-foot high chaincination with Sally Mann’s photo essay link fence, topped with razor wire, and on the matter, body farms are research

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At first glance, becoming a webcam model sounds easy – you get in front of your computer, go online, take your clothes off for an audience, and get paid for it. But, there are also a bunch of decisions to make and many hoops to jump through: What equipment do you need? What’s a good stage name?

Where on the Internet should you perform? What should you do as a performer? How is the money you earn actually going to make it into your bank account? And that’s just scratching the surface.

Nathan Hammond got into search engine optimization while setting up the blog for his family’s local print shop, before branching off and providing this service for clients and in-house for various companies. Eventually, he gave that up to pursue affiliate marketing.

When Colorado Amendment 64 passed, legalizing marijuana, Hammond set up DurangoChronic.com. It took off really quick, he said, citing instances in which panicked dispensaries were calling him, asking him to take down coupons he was hosting because too many customers were trying to redeem them. While it was a fun project, potential legal issues and difficulty monetizing it caused him to pull the plug.

Courtesy of Nathan Hammond

»» Nathan Hammond, founder of WebcamStartup.com, is very much a Durangoan and pursued becoming a webmaster because it could be done remotely from the area.

SEO content and had questions for him. Outside of minimal instructions on webcam sites and a few forums, there were no resources for women wanting to break into the industry.

Hammond came down from the mountain, grabbed up the domain name “WebcamStartup.com” (he wanted something vague and mainstream enough that he’d be able to sell it if it flopped), and started setting up a guide to the indie side of the adult industry.

Not having any actual experience as a webcam model himself, Hammond brought on insiders to write articles on subjects about which they were knowledgeable. Writers come and go, but the site currently has about five contributors in addition to Hammond and Aerie Saunders, his partner on the site. .

“I just completely turned that site off,” Hammond said. “I went up to a cabin and decided I was going to do a whiskey and mushroom binge until the universe gave me some sort of sign.”

Saunders, who lives in South Carolina, had been selling videos and photos on a site called IndieBill when Hammond messaged it, asking for models who would be willing to write a review of his platform. An aspiring writer, Saunders began writing a lot of articles for Hammond’s site and eventually, he made her the CEO. (Hammond still contributes to the site, handling more of the technical aspects.)

About a month into the personal retreat, Hammond got an email from a cam girl who had found some of his

In addition to the site itself, which hosts a live chat, Saunders hosts the Camland Podcast, which focuses on

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»» When she’s not actively camming or selling videos online, Aerie Saunders is the CEO of WebcamStartup.com and the host of the Camland Podcast.

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“For example, this week, we’re going to be covering a new bill that’s being put forth in California, Assembly Bill 2389,” Saunders told DGO regarding a California bill that would require porn actors and webcam performers to be fingerprinted and to undergo regular training. “We try to keep models up to date on stuff and make it easier for them to understand, because a lot of that legal language can be complicated.”

The site has both male and female contributors, as it tries to reflect the industry, which is very diverse, Hammond said.

“It doesn’t matter what gender you are and whether you’re cis or trans,” he said. “There is definitely a place for you, and everyone in the industry is insanely accepting.”

The value of the enterprise struck home for Hammond, he said, when he received a Twitter DM from a woman in inner-city Los Angeles, who had just lost her mother and never knew her father.

The woman told Hammond that if it weren’t for the site, she would be turn-

ing tricks on the street – a significantly more dangerous kind of sex work.

“Not everyone gets into this industry out of desperation. But as you can imagine, there is a lot of desperation leading people to this industry,” he said.

Locally, Hammond said, one of the major issues that performers have is internet speeds. It’s hard to get a connection with enough of an upload speed to put quality video content on the web. To get around this, he recommends wouldbe adult entertainers bypass computers entirely and focus on phone-based sex work, such as talk- or text-based phone sex or use services such as a premium Snapchat (a service that Snapchat itself sent the Hammond’s site a cease and desist for recommending.)

“I just want everyone to know that we are active in the industry, and that we try our best to keep our opinions and guidance as diverse as we possibly can,” said Saunders. “We will never charge for this information – the success of our site directly relies on the success of performers who use our tips.

We just hope that people keep doing well and that we can keep doing well.”

—— Nick Gonzales

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»» The Satanic Temple likes to roll out its statue of Baphomet at rallies and protests in favor of the First Amendment separation between church and state.

JUST WHO ARE

COLORADO’S SATANISTS? 14 | Thursday, March 12, 2020 • • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Satanists: They’re quite a bit more benevolent than you’d expect

chants thrown in for good measure.

By Nick Gonzales

The Satanic Temple Colorado

DGO STAFF WRITER

S

atanism. The word summons visions of medieval Black Masses – black-robed cultists gathered around an altar to sacrifice women, children, and animals to Beelzebub and then bathe in their sacrificial blood, maybe with some pentagrams, black candles, and spooky Latin

DGO recently caught up with the latest group of Coloradans to take up the mantle of “Satanists,” and they don’t quite match up with the image we’ve formed through pop culture. Above all else, they seem extremely ... benevolent. Don’t worry, though; they’re still pretty metal.

If you run into someone who self-identifies as a Satanist in Colorado, chances are good they’re affiliated with The Satanic Temple.

Formed in 2013, The Satanic Temple has, at last count, 22 chapters across the U.S., with two more in Canada and the U.K. The Colorado chapter, formed in 2017, has four subchapters: a metro group in Denver, a northern group in Fort Collins, a southern group in Colorado Springs, and a western group in Grand Junction. They would also have

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The Colorado chapter in particular does a lot to help support the homeless population, said Damion Luciano, the other co-head of the Denver sub-chapter.

an eastern group in Limon, but that area barely has people in it, let alone Satanists.

We caught up with the Temple at one of their Denver meetings in the basement (spooky!) of the Falling Rock Taphouse (less spooky). Almost everyone there was clothed in black, but the style veered more towards hoodies and standard goth fashion. There was nary a robe to be seen. To his credit, the spokesperson of the group, Viktor LaMent, wore an all-black suit and tie that we would expect for, say, Lucifer’s PR guy.

One of the Temple’s current initiatives, which exists in multiple chapters throughout the U.S. and has been adopted by Colorado, is “Menstruatin’ with Satan.”

“Each of our regions have identified either homeless or domestic violence shelters in their area that would be in need of menstrual care products. These are products that are often overlooked or, honestly, shunned a bit by donors because there is a stigma around menstruation that still exists due to the patriarchy,” said Gray. “Within Denver, we have a large homeless community and a lot of people who are couch surfing or in domestic violence shelters, and it’s hard for them to get menstrual care products because they’re so expensive and they’re not considered a basic need by most agencies, even though they very much are.”

The meeting itself was primarily a planning session, outlining what Colorado’s Satanists have planned for the rest of 2020. If you’re expecting anything truly evil, prepare to be disappointed.

While their political, moral, and religious beliefs might not suit everyone’s taste, they don’t do anything abjectly malicious. When it comes down to it, The Satanic Temple is one-third political advocacy group, one-third social club for atheists, and one-third a heavy metal version of a Kiwanis-style service organization.

Satan, for the Temple, symbolizes the ultimate outsider, and the group has adopted practices and aesthetics antagonistic to devout Christians. But the Satanists aren’t just cloaking themselves in demonic imagery without a particular goal in mind.

Temple versus Church Modern Satanism began in 1966, when Anton LaVay founded the Church of Satan in San Francisco. While it acknowledges this earlier version of Satanism as a forerunner to their own, The Satanic Temple disavows most of the Church’s core beliefs. For instance, the Temple does not endorse any supernatural beliefs, whereas the Church is a bit more vague and sometimes tells its members they can perform supernatural “magick” by focusing their own willpower to manipulate people and situations.

The two forms of Satanism also differ wildly in their relationship to the people around them.

“We credit LaVay as the father of modern Satanism, and there’s a lot of vestigial elements of what he had written that still exist in what we do, but his base core beliefs are not canon for us at all. It is entirely too reliant on social Darwinism,” LaMent said. “We don’t really believe in this law of the jungle stuff.”

Persephone Gray, co-head of the Den-

Courtesy of The Satanic Temple Colorado

»» When most people think about “Satanism,” highway cleanups aren’t the first things that leap to mind. Never the less, The Satanic Temple Colorado adopted a couple miles of Colorado State Highway 128.

ver sub-chapter, describes the Temple’s philosophy as very humanist.

be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one’s own.

“We specifically try to do outreach within our local communities ... where we exist. Not only so V. Beliefs should “We credit LaVay that we’re seen as a conform to one’s best as the father of member of the faithscientific understanding modern Satanism, based community, but of the world. One should and there’s a lot also because we feel take care never to distort of vestigial elestrongly about helpscientific facts to fit one’s ments of what he ing those around us,” beliefs. had written that she said. “We just all still exist in what believe that we should VI. People are fallible. we do, but his base help our fellow man.”

If one makes a mistake, According to its web- core beliefs are one should do one’s best not canon for us site and literature, The to rectify it and resolve Satanic Temple follows at all. It is entireany harm that might have ly too reliant on seven fundamental been caused. social Darwinism,” tenets: VII. Every tenet is a LaMent said.

I. One should strive guiding principle designed to act with compassion to inspire nobility in action and empathy toward all creatures in and thought. The spirit of compassion, accordance with reason. wisdom, and justice should always preII. The struggle for justice is an ongovail over the written or spoken word. ing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

The Devil may care III. One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.

IV. The freedoms of others should

Perhaps the most surprising aspect of The Satanic Temple, at least to the uninitiated, is its humanitarian work.

Pride is also a big event for the Temple. According to Luciano, more than 60% of the organization’s membership, nationally, is LGBTQA+, and that percentage is probably higher within the Colorado chapter.

“A lot of the same people who are making us fight for our religious rights are making us fight for reproductive and sexual identity rights as well,” he said.

The Satanists had a booth at Colorado Springs’ Pride festival last year and got a lot of public support, even from some surprising sources.

“We were set up next to churches, and we had a Christian pastor come over and say, ‘I’m willing to talk to you guys,’ and we’re like, ‘What do you mean, willing to talk to us?’ We had a really nice dialogue with him, and he was super on board except for the Satan thing.

He was like, ‘I get it and I kind of, like, don’t hate you now,’” said Gray.

“That was a little weird,” LaMent said, “because we were also handing out what we were calling a Pride-ritual-ina-bag, which had a ritual card with a mantra you would repeat written on the card’s backside. But it also came with instructions for how to do the ritual, a little black candle, and a Bible page that you’re supposed to light on fire. And so we were explaining to him like, ‘Hey, you should take one of these ritual-in-abags,’ and I guess I hadn’t really thought about how blasphemous the lighting of the Bible page would be because I was like, ‘All you do is you just say this affir-

16 | Thursday, March 12, 2020 • • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

mative thing and light the Bible page on fire,’ and he’s like, ‘Yeah, I’m probably not going to do that.’”

This year, The Satanic Temple Colorado will be at Denver’s Pride festival.

The group has also adopted a few miles of Colorado State Highway 128 near Broomfield and clean it up several times a year. One might call it the Highway to Hell, but Broomfield isn’t that bad of a place.

Concert Calendar

Rites, rituals, and recreation The Temple’s normal meetings are pretty causal, but its members break out the theatrics every once in a while, including for its rituals.

“Obviously they’re not supernatural in nature – we don’t actually believe that we’re like calling forth demons or anything,” LaMent said. “It’s just kind of a theatrical cathartic release. It’s more or less, for lack of a better term, kind of like group therapy.”

Examples from the Temple’s website include a destruction ritual, in which “participants destroy an object they own that symbolizes a source of pain in their lives,” and an unbaptism, in which “participants renounce superstitions that may have been imposed upon them, without their consent, as a child.”

The Colorado chapter also has events for Samhain, a pagan festival that coincides with Halloween, and a huge party and fundraiser for Saturnalia, the ancient Roman predecessor to Christmas.

Outside of those more religious events, the Satanists also hold regular events geared more toward their own amusement.

The chapter’s Hellfire Club is where its members gather to discuss philosophical concepts and ideas that are not necessarily stated in the Temple’s tenets, Luciano said.

The group also has “dark arts and crafts” nights, some of which allow them to put together, say, homeless kits or decorations for rituals, while others are just fun projects. In one of the Satanists’ upcoming nights, they plan to attend a workshop on making stained glass. The subchapters also have simple game nights (Cards Against Humanity is quite popular thanks to its potential for blasphemy.)

Finally, the Temple holds fun events for the public, such as metal shows and beer releases. The Temple is one of the hosts of the upcoming “Baphie’s Blastbeat Bonanza” Hexxenact Sabbath, a death metal show featuring several bands (Luciano’s band, Katalysk, is

Courtesy of The Satanic Temple Colorado

»» Colorado members and friends of The Temple of Satan pose for a photo. among them), on May 9 at Denver’s The rally is a response to Project Roxy Theatre. Last year, the group Blitz, a coalition of Christian Rights teamed up with Black Sky Brewery to groups that seek to, among other things, release Ale Satan, a honey coffee brown promote the Bible in public schools and ale. (At the meeting we attended, the establish religious exemptions to LGBTQ group was still workshopping what this civil rights protections and women’s year’s beer, a passionfruit-sour apple reproductive healthcare. saison, will be named – one suggestion “We feel very strongly that all of the was “Taste of the Fruit.”) laws, particularly the restrictive aborPolitical activism tion laws in eleven states, that were put In the news, The Satanic Temple is in place as part of Project Blitz last year, best known nationally for its political are part of a larger push to introduce actions. One of its most famous cammore theocratic laws,” LaMent said. “We paigns, as documented in the film “Hail feel we have a religious right to exempSatan?,” was the creation of a bronze tion from those particular restrictive statue of Baphomet. laws ... and Utah has one of the most The 8.5-foot statue was commisrestrictive sets of theocratic laws.” sioned in response to a 2015 bill passed in the Arkansas State Legislature to install a monument to the Ten Commandments on the State Capitol grounds.

The Temple objected to that installation stating that it violated the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution by giving preferential treatment to one religion over others in a government setting. As such, the Satanists brought out their Baphomet statue, arguing that if the Capitol was to have a Judeo-Christian Monument, then all other religious groups must be allowed to erect symbols of their own faiths.

The Arkansas Legislature passed an emergency bill barring the placement of the Baphomet monument, but lawsuits are pending, both on behalf of the Satanic Temple and the American Civil Liberties Union.

The Temple is more than happy to take on the government for other reasons, too. The national organization is putting together a rally for reproductive rights this spring in Salt Lake City and chapters from around the U.S. and Canada, including Colorado, plan to attend.

Luciano said the state funding of crisis pregnancy centers – which pose as clinics but overtly steer women away from abortions – is particularly egregious in the Temple’s eyes.

Friendly neighborhood Satanists Ultimately, Colorado’s members of The Satanic Temple want freedom from the oppressive religious structures they see around them.

“Most people, the first thing they ask is why Satan?” said Luciano. “There are a bunch of different answers, but the most important one is that we live in a Judeo-Christian-dominated country, and Satanism is the only way to sort of break apart that kind of mold.”

LaMent agrees.

“We are here to try to usher in some changes to the way things are done, but we’re not as frightening as some preconceived notions might lead you to believe,” he said.

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WEEKLY EVENTS Tuesdays @ 6:30 Trivia Factory Wednesdays @ 8:30 Open Mic Night

All events FREE w/ great prizes & drink specials! www.AnimasCityTheatre.com

����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, March 12, 2020 | 17

[weed]

We got a “designer high” from LucidMood vapes and think you should, too You know a product is good when a ton of different people – some of whom rarely smoke; others who are regular imbibers; some who have shied away from cannabis because of panic attacks – all like it, even with their unique, individualized preferences.

That was the case with the LucidMood vape pens, which are disposable vape pens filled with a mix of THC distillate, CBD and CBG isolate, and superior sourced terpenes. The concentrates in these pens aren’t cut with filler oils, including Vitamin E acetate, so you don’t have to worry about any of that gnarly junk causing health issues. These pens come in a variety of different THC to CBD rations and are meant to produce “designer highs” – LucidMood’s words, not mine.

Got all that? Good. So, LucidMoods offers five different varieties of pens, all of which have “L” names: Luscious, Luminous, Loving, Lively, and Lullaby. Not gonna lie to you – I seriously hate the names – but that’s OK, because I love. these. pens. I just don’t like buying them because saying you want a Luscious pen is a little horrifying. Anyway.

As I said, it doesn’t matter if I like the names because these pens are badass. I first encountered them when my sister was visiting for Snowdown – we bought the Luscious and Loving pens that time – and that was when we realized how well these pens work for all types of smokers. My sister had been a frequent smoker in her early 20s but stopped at some point because she would have panic attacks after smoking, which is not uncommon with a lot of people (especially if they’re buying whatever clandestine weed they can get in a state with no legal market). I had to peer pressure her into trying these vapes, and surprise! She didn’t have a panic attack.

She had a giggly, easy to handle high and we all sat around laughing at dumb shit for a couple hours after imbibing.

It was a good experience – not only because the LucidMoods vapes didn’t cause anxiety, but also because they tasted so freaking good. The Luscious vape tasted herbal, clean, and a bit like a fancy incense. Whatever it was, it tasted

Details Where to find LucidMood disposable vapes and cartridges: Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino del Rio, prohibitionherb.com nothing like weed, which was perfect for her noob ass. That vape became our goto during her trip, which is saying something, considering that I have an entire shelf full of flower and concentrates.

And given the fact that this vape was the only thing she’d imbibe on, you will not be surprised to hear that she loaded up on them before heading back to the prohibition state where she lived.

So, for all of those reasons, I was stoked when Prohibition asked me to review one of the vapes for this issue. I figured I’d switch it up this time and try out the Lively version, since we’d already tried out the other two.

Each pen has a different ration of CBD and THC, along with some other unique properties, and Lively, a 2:1 THC to CBD ratio, uses terpenes like Limonene and Valencene to help wake you up and lift your mood. As with the other LucidMoods vapes, the Lively version tasted delicious – like a flowery, somewhat citrusy cloud of vapor rather than weed. If you’re averse to the taste of flower, you will LOVE these things.

And you’ll also love the effects. I was a little worried that this particular version would cause some anxiety because it’s meant to wake you up, but I had none of that biz after I used it. I was awake, raring to go, and not hungry in the slightest.

Too bad I used it at like 10 pm, because all of those qualities are awesome during the day. At night? Eh, not awesome unless you’re on deadline or Continued on Page 23

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[weed]

Smoke fancy ass Champagne Kush if you’re struggling to sleep For real. Do it and thank us later, after your coma-like nap.

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But it doesn’t have to! It can blow much less with this handy little trick I’m about to tell you about. (But only if you’re not opposed to getting blazed, which like, I’m assuming is not a problem considering what you’re reading.

Anyway! As you may have gathered by the headline above, Champagne Kush is kind of a magic wand for sleep.

How do I know this? Well, I found it out recently while reviewing said strain for The Green House in Durango. I’d never smoked Champagne Kush before, but I was certainly down to try it, especially with a name THAT fancy.

This strain is one of The Green House’s premium strains, so it’s a little more expensive than your average e’ryday strain – about $20 a gram – but it’s pretty darn worth it, especially if you need to get some rest. But we’ll get to that. Before we do, let’s talk science shop.

So, if you’re not familiar with Champagne Kush, this strain is a hybrid that’s supposed to smell like – and taste like – champagne. It’s known for knocking that anxiety riiiiight outcha body and making you feel like you have a weighted blanket for arms. It can also help relieve social anxiety and make you more talkative, which is another positive for me because, well, I hate interacting and write under a pen name for a reason. I’m basically a walking basketcase and the epitome of awkward. /shrug Anyway, all of those things sounded really great to me, and so did getting high, so I lit this strain right up as soon as I got home from the dispensary. Before I did, though, I stuck my nose in the little canister and sniffed. To be honest, the tiny, light green, compact nugs in my container o’ weed didn’t really smell like champagne to me, but I was cool with that. I don’t really want my weed to smell like the stuff that caused my last really shitty hangover anyway.

And, while they didn’t smell like

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Details Where to find Champagne Kush: The Green House, 730 S. Camino del Rio, thegreenhousecolorado. com/ Price: $20/gram champagne, they also didn’t taste like champagne, but they did taste delicious – more like orange blossoms than anything. I found myself super freaking high about halfway through – so high, in fact, that I got tunnel vision about what I was going to eat. All I could think about was food. Food, food, food. And I’d just eaten, so there was no logical reason I should have been that hungry.

Once I’d determined that I wanted to eat EVERYTHING EVER, I took a long, winding trip toward the kitchen.

I say long and winding because I was distracted as hell and had to stop to play with the cat and move a broom from one place to the other (for no reason) before I could get there. In other words, do not smoke this if you’re trying to be productive.

Also don’t smoke this if you’re tryna be skinny, cause once I finally made my dawdling ass way to the kitchen I ate everything. And I do mean everything.

I ate a couple of apples, some leftovers, and an entire freaking package of knockoff Thin Mints. I know this because I woke up with the discarded remnants of my kitchen foray on the floor next to my bed. The shame is real deep.

(Side note: Why are apples the PERFECT stoned food? They’re so delicious Continued on Page 23

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The Alternative Resource

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From Page 6

ery, Dogfish Head, and Sierra Nevada.

The person running the bed and breakfast Laws and his wife were staying at insisted that he needed to take a tour of Barton’s facilities, and the PR person at Barton insisted he needed to talk to Friel. After three hours of talking about the technical aspects of whiskey distilling, a friendship – and mentorship – was born.

“And then Al Laws called my brother (Jason) because he saw our bag at a homebrew supply store. He was looking for some white wheat,” Cody says. “He called my brother and said, ‘Hey, would you guys be interested in working with a distillery?’ ... That changed everybody’s life.”

The birthplace of the grain that goes into the whiskey is also very important to the folks at Laws Whiskey House. To that end they’ve teamed up with the Cody family at Colorado Malting Co., a farm south of Alamosa, where Laws sources the vast majority of its grains.

For instance, Laws buys 95% of the rye that the farm produces, said Steve Kurowski, Laws’ marketing director.

That close relationship allows the distillery to custom order malts with very specific characteristics. The distillers also enjoy capturing the terroir of the region.

Josh Cody credits the relationship with saving the family farm. Third- and fourth-generation homesteaders, the Codys began growing barley in 2008 in hopes that local breweries could use it, and they found a number of customers, including New Belgium, Left Hand, Av-

The Codys are now the world’s largest producer of craft malts. In 2018, they produced 1.5 million pounds of malt and sold it on every continent except Antarctica. (Get with the program, penguins!)

In addition to Laws Whiskey House’s products, local drinkers can get a taste of Colorado Malting Co. grains at Durango Craft Spirits. The Cody farm is where DCS owner Michael McCardell gets the wheat, rye, and barley that goes into his bourbon. The malt also makes guest appearances in Ska Brewing Co. beers every once in a while.

Perhaps the coolest way to consume the farm’s fermented grains is on the farm itself. In 2018, the Codys opened up the Colorado Farm Brewery, a truly unique location where visitors to the taproom can sample beers where all of the ingredients – malt, hops, water, and even yeast – are produced on site. The

Thursday, March 12th, from 12pm to 3pm at La Plata County Fairgrounds Exhibit Hall CONNECTING EMPLOYERS WITH EMPLOYEES

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taproom is open Thursday, Friday, and Saturday evenings.

George Washington never visited Colorado, but if he could visit it today, he’d probably be proud, not just of the rye whiskey but also the beer its denizens are creating (he was also a big beer drinker, especially porters). Something to think about next time you pour yourself a locally-sourced drink.

From Page 9

corpses. The felines were feasting on areas of the bodies that were in the early stages of decomposition, while avoiding areas that were showing further signs of decay, like leaking bodily fluids. Picky eaters, amirite? Possibly one of the most off-putting aspects is that both cats fed on the soft arm and shoulder tissue. All. The. Way. To. The. Bone.

Cats, it turns out, are weird eaters.

—— Nick Gonzales These two scavengers had more than 40 human snacks to choose from, yet every From Page 8 night the cats returned to dine on their who supervised Starfire research, said same selections until the bodies became the facility used lasers and the process too decomposed for their sophisticated of atmospheric compensation to target tastes. One feline stayed with its chosen satellites “all the time.” (With the satel- corpse for 35 consecutive nights. lite owner’s permission, of course.)

In fairness to felines, it’s not their fault.

We know they’re assholes and yet We have no idea what exactly the we keep them around. Plus, they’re not military is currently working with, the only ones that will dig in on a human but DefenseNews.com reported that corpse. Previous research showed dogs, between 2010 and 2014, a 10-kilowatt hamsters, and birds have all partaken in commercial welding laser was used in such feasting. Circle of life, anyone? tests at White Sands Missile Range to Some of you might be eyeballing shoot down unmanned aircraft and Whiskers suspiciously right about now, mortar rounds. The Navy is presently but let’s be honest. At the end of the day, installing HELIOS, a 60-kilowatt laser our pets are still animals and they gotta made by Lockheed Martin that can do what they got to do. If you aren’t going potentially ramp up to 150 kilowatts, to be around to pour kibble into their on its ships. We’d be surprised if there bowls, they have to find sustenance from wasn’t something as good or better somewhere, and you might still be their primary food source. After all, don’t we at Starfire. Ronald Reagan would be eat animals too when we’re hungry? proud.

For obvious reasons, you can’t just go wandering around the Starfire Optical Range or Kirtland Air Force Base.

But next time you’re in Albuquerque, you can look up at the sky and rest assured that the technology to obliterate any basketballs flying towards you from space is close at hand.

Mikel Delgado, a cat behavior researcher at the University of California at Davis School of Veterinary Medicine, had a good takeaway on her blog for anyone feeling a bit squeamish about whether they need to start watching their backs when Garfield and Odie walk into the room.

“Pivot: Skateboard Deck Art” will have an opening reception from 5 to 7 p.m., March 25 at the Center for Southwest Studies Museum. The exhibit will display throughout 2020. For more information, visit swcenter.fortlewis. edu.

She even recalled to the Washington Post a time when she worked at an animal shelter and a cat came in that had eaten the nose of her owner after they died.

“If push came to shove, would your cat —— Nick Gonzales eat you? Yes. But so would your dog. Our pets have no moral code that prevents From Page 9 them from eating flesh, from biting the which he struggled with alcoholism and hand that fed them,” she wrote. went to prison, to one in which he was “They have no need to uphold a stanable to point himself in a new direction. dard that — to many of us — reflects a “It goes to show that anybody who deep and loving relationship and a line has a creative passion, who is doing that should not be crossed. The irony is music, or writing, or whatever ... they that many of us have difficulty discerning can pursue that art to the next level. why we eat some animals and love othI know it’s cliché, but if I can do it, I’m ers. But to our pets, if we are dead, it may sure a lot of other people can do it too,” be that in that moment we are just meat.” he said.

—— Nick Gonzales

“It’s not a behavior problem. It’s just a fact of life,” she said.

—— Amanda Push

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The likely candidate will have a solid understanding of all our digital-marketing products or services offered by the company and how these services meet the client’s needs. Responsibilities will be focused on outside sales approximately 90% of the time. If you are self-driven, able to work independently, and have proven ability to sell digital media products and services—we’re looking for someone like you to join the BCI team! Required: Bachelor’s degree in Business or related field, and 3+ years proven ability in digital sales. Apply at: https:// ballantinecommunicationsinc. com/careers Riverview Animal Hospital is looking for kind, compassionate, hardworking, multi-tasking and flexible people to join their team.

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[love and sex]

A discussion of the damage done by the patriarchy

I

was going to write about anal sex for this upcoming column. Instead, as I read the news that Elizabeth Warren has dropped out of the Democratic Primary for President of the United States, I realized there is more that needs to be done to talk about equality, misogyny, privilege, patriarchy, and the vital work that needs to be done to shift our culture.

Bias.

— Gender Trouble by Judith Butler

Sexism.

— Brick Lane by Monica Ali

It is not possible to do the work that I do without discussing the damage done by the patriarchy.

Rape.

You’ve heard me talk about the myths that promote the positive sexual performance of men. I talk about this as a detriment to men (it is) and to bring awareness to an imbalance in sexual relationships. Men who perform poorly in their sexual lives very often blame their female partners using terms like prude or frigid. Yes, I argue that men who’ve only received education from porn are victims of a non-existent educational space.

However, who is responsible for learning and growing — the individual.

Womxn have been learning, growing, and carving out spaces for centuries.

And when I say carving out spaces, I am calling attention to the exponential extra work required to become experts in their fields, to be leaders of companies, to have their voice heard in the world.

Exponential.

When I am working with womxn clients, they want to know what they are doing wrong. Why is it so hard to ask for what they want? Why can’t they just love their bodies? Why can’t they please their lovers?

Why are orgasms so hard to have?

Why are their bodies broken? I remind them that every day — every damn day — they have to wake up and fight to ignore thousands of messages telling them that they are not good enough. (If you have yet to watch Be A Lady directed by Paul McLean and performed by Cynthia Nixon, find it now and watch it.)

It is fucking exhausting to show up as a womxn in our culture.

Emotional labor.

Misogyny.

Mansplaining.

— On Intersectionality by Kimberlé Crenshaw

Oppression.

Privilege.

Incels.

Equal pay.

Glass ceilings.

How appropriate that this is Women’s History Month.

A reminder that younger generations have access to more because of the womxn who came before us. Who fought. Who grieved. Who got up the next day to fight again.

What does it look like for womxn now to keep fighting, to love themselves, to truly be who they are despite the judgments of others? Well, I don’t know about you, but today I’m taking a break.

I’m going to grieve another lost opportunity. I’m going to scream, yell, curse, cry, and live my emotions today.

Tomorrow I’m going to wake up and fight. Fight for change. Fight to be heard.

Fight for space.

This looks like leaning into my business, which makes people uncomfortable because, you know, sex.

This looks like calling attention to the lack of sexual education for men.

Benedikt Geyer/ Pixabay

When I say we, I mean men.

This looks like lifting up womxn, in my head and out loud, rather than judging them.

This looks like taking action for feminist intersectionality not just talking about it.

Which means we have homework, folks!

Here are must read books on feminism and intersectionality. (I found this amazing list put together by Crystal Paul for an article in Bustle from 2016):

— Women, Race, and Class by Angela This looks like helping clients find their Y. Davis sexual power.

— Stone Butch Blues by Leslie FeinThis looks like teaching younger berg generations about positive sexuality, — Woman, Native, Other by Trinh T. including consent.

Minh-ha This looks like supporting other — Assata by Assata Shakur womxn.

This looks like calling out misogyny when I hear and see it.

This looks like speaking up over a man’s voice when they interrupt or talk over me.

This looks like honestly talking with my lover about the extra emotional labor I’m carrying during some difficult times.

This looks like supporting businesses that pay their employees equal pay for equal work.

Here’s the kicker — reading this column, adding these books to your tobe-read pile, getting angry or sad or both is not enough; change requires action every day, every hour, every minute. We don’t get to pick and choose when we are intersectional feminists. We don’t get to pick when we call out the misogynistic joke told in a group of friends. We don’t get to pick when we are an ally to a womxn coworker who is being harassed by a colleague. We must elevate voices that are different from ours and learn more beyond our own safe and same groups.

— Random Family by Adrian LeBlanc — Sex Workers Unite! A History of the Movement from Stonewall to Slutwalk

by Melinda Chateauvert — The Sacred Hoop: Recovering the Feminine in American Indian Traditions

by Paula Gunn Allen — This Bridge Called My Back by Cherríe Moraga and Gloria Anzaldúa — Women and Gender In Islam by Leila Ahmed

The privilege a man has in our culture allows for an abundance of opportunity to take action as an intersectional feminist. It does not hurt your career to not speak up and allow for womxn’s voices to be heard. You won’t be in physical danger if you tell a colleague to stop sexually harassing a womxn. When you call out a misogynistic joke, you create safe spaces and help teach other men. For my work, when men choose to learn more about their sexuality, they become better lovers and safe relationships for womxn.

If you are a white, heterosexual man your privilege is top of the food chain and I implore you to do more.

Are you angry that I used this space to talk about politics and feminism? Do you think that I should stay in my lane?

Schedule an appointment and pay for an hour of my time to talk about what you want in my lane of positive sexuality.

Be at the Durango Public Library on Tuesday, April 7th at 6:30pm for my free workshop on Consent.

Erin Brandt (she/her/hers) has been a sexologist for 15 years. When she’s not spreading sexual knowledge, Erin can be found learning from her child, hiking with her partner, cuddling with her pitbull, knitting with her cat, dancing with friends, and searching for the nearest hammock and ocean breeze.

Want more? Visit www.positivesexed.com.

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Horoscope This is a good time to discuss shared property, inheritances, and anything that you own jointly with others because it will be to your advantage. (It’s a good time to ask for a loan or to borrow something.)

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Relations with partners and close friends are warm and friendly right now because people are upbeat and happy! Enjoy a long lunch or a fun time at happy hour with friends.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) This is a positive time at work. You feel vigorous and healthy; furthermore, you’re keen to explore your surroundings, which is why you will jump at a chance for work-related travel. Go, go, go!

CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

From Page 18

something. And, I was not. So I found myself awake, weirdly chill, and yet still motivated until about midnight, when I finally gave in and imbibed on some sleepy indica flower to knock me out.

I’m super impressed with these handy little vapes, friends. They are so convenient, they taste great, they don’t smell bad, and so far they’ve worked

This is a playful time! (It’s also a romantic day.) Enjoy social outings, sports events, anything related to the arts, and fun activities with kids.

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) You will enjoy entertaining at home right now. In fact, an unexpected gathering might take place where you live, so be smart and stock the fridge.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) You are happy right now. You’re in a positive frame of mind and you feel confident about whatever you’re doing.

Others will seek you out because enthusiasm is contagious.

LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) This is a good money time for you. Look for ways to boost your earnings or increase your profits. If shopping, you’re tempted to spend big!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) Right now the Moon is in your sign dancing with lucky Jupiter, which makes you feel enthusiastic about life. You also will be concerned for the welfare of others.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) On the whole, this is a feel-good time for your sign because you are inwardly happy. You feel content with life, especially because you see you’re getting richer this year!

figure because you look good in their eyes right now. They see you as a winning choice.

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) Grab every chance to travel right now or do something different because you need a bit of adventure. Why not explore your own city?

BORN DURING THESE TWO WEEKS

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

You march to the beat of your own drum and do your own thing. This will be a more relaxed year for you. Because your interactions with others will be important, do your best to cooperate with others. Look for ways to be kind and helpful. Be open to engaging with others, because business and personal relationships will benefit you.

This is the perfect time to ask for approval or permission from an authority

(c) 2019 King Features Syndicate, Inc.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) Relations with friends, especially female acquaintances, will be a positive experience for you right now. This applies to a group, a club, a class, or an athletic team.

Enjoy!

Bizarro

ARIES (March 21 to April 19)

exactly as described on the package. If I could rename them, they’d be perfect.

But until someone puts me in charge of that, I’ll just suck it up and order the damn Luscious vape. No shame when a product is this good.

—— DGO Pufnstuf From Page 19

and juicy. Someone should market those tree treasures toward stoners.

There would be a national shortage.)

And, after I ate everything in the kitchen, I passed the actual fahk out for a solid 7 hours. I didn’t stir. I didn’t move. I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night to read Reddit. I just slept.

As ridiculous as that may sound, just straight up sleeping is an accomplishment for me. There are not many nights I can think of in recent history where I fell asleep without trouble and then stayed asleep for more than a couple of hours. But somehow, it

happened. Champagne Kush turned my brain off after it forced me to consume 8,000 calories worth of cookies.

Honestly, it was worth it – even if it meant waking up to an empty box of cookies laying next to me. If the worst thing I have to do is smoke a bowl of Champagne Kush and consume a ton of sugar to get some sleep, I’ll do it.

And you should do it too, sleepyheads. If you struggle with insomnia, you know how hard it is to get relief.

Pharmaceuticals leave you feeling sluggish and out of it the next day, and over the counter remedies rarely work. This stuff works, you guys. So get some, hide the cookies from yourself, and get some rest. You’ll be better off for it.

—— DGO Pufnstuf

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Saturday, March 28

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