The Ghosts of El Moro

Page 1

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, December 3, 2015

DGO the

FREE!

Now you’ll know what they mean by ‘Spirits and Tavern’

ghosts of el moro Also: Durango’s best specialty shots, graphic novels, loving and hating football, Magi Nation, and a new column, ‘Style Fetish’

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DGO Magazine

Staff

What’s inside Volume 1 Number 6

December 3, 2015

Chief Executive Officer Douglas Bennett

13 Get Smart about graphic novels

V.P. of Finance and Operations

Want (or maybe need) some pictures to spice up your reading material? Let bookseller Jaime Cary of Maria’s Bookshop teach you about graphic novels. They’re a whole lot more than your nerdy friend’s comic books used to be.

Bob Ganley V.P. of Advertising David Habrat V.P. of Marketing Kricket Lewis Founding Editors Amy Maestas David Holub

12 Style Fetish: In praise of Carhartts

Katie Klingsporn Josh Stephenson Editor/ designer/ art director David Holub dholub@bcimedia.com 375-4551 Contributors Aubrey Adler Jaime Becktel Meghan Doenges Christopher Gallagher Sara Knight Bryant Liggett Heather Narwood Cyle Talley Jon Lynch Robert Alan Wendeborn Advertising 247-3504 Reader Services 375-4570

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

9

Jimmy Carabbia of Durango Guitar Works, on how size matters “So I pick up this kid’s guitar one day just goofing off,” he said, “and I’m able to just fly up and down the fretboard. I’m shocked. ... I go home and do some research and that’s when I first heard the term ‘short scale,’ and my first thought is, ‘Well, I guess my guitar is too big for me.’”

10 ‘From then on, I was a little more of a believer’ It’s the site of perhaps Durango’s most famous shooting, when Durango Deputy Marshal Jesse Stansel and La Plata County Sheriff William Thompson dueled outside El Moro. It’s also the site of some of Durango’s freakiest ghost stories. But are they connected? Tell us what you think! Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know? Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

4

From the Editor

4

Love it or Hate it

5

Beer

6

Weed

Seeing Through the Smoke 6

Strain of the week

High-ass recipes 7 8

Sound

Downtown Lowdown

Let this first column be in praise of pants, specifically and adoringly, Carhartt or Dickies canvas work pants in that iconic hot mustard gold. This common color of the bottom halves of many Colorado men is evocative in the extreme, bringing to mind hard work, capability, beer and honey, toughness and integrity.

/dgomag

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8

Album Review 8 14 Movies 15 Savage Love 16 Student Life 17 Happenings 12 Pages 19 Horoscope/ puzzles/ Bizarro

/dgomag @dgo_mag

On the cover El Moro Spirits and Tavern is home to some of Durango’s spookiest ghost stories ... and they all might be connected to Sheriff William Thompson, killed outside the bar in 1906. Illustration by David Holub/DGO

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@dg

dg


[CTRL-A]

[love it or hate it]

David Holub |DGO editor

Football Love it

Keep calm and act like you know what you’re doing

I

received the Durango Arts Center’s latest programtouting brochure in the mail last week and, flipping through it, came upon a picture of myself in what may have been literally the most terrifying moment of my life. The photo was from DAC’s 10-Minute Plays, which I’d performed in back in October. In the photo, I am staring into a clear exercise ball held up by my friend and co-star Sarah Syverson. I don’t know if the photo was taken in rehearsal or from one of the three weekend performances. If it came from Saturday’s show, what I suspect none of the 200 or so people attending knew in that exact moment was that, as I gazed into that ball, I was supposed to say a line. But when I called on my memory to say that line, there was absolutely nothing there. I’d forgotten how to talk. People had always advised me that, if I ever forgot a line during a performance, to simply paraphrase. You know kind of what you’re supposed to say, you know where the scene is going. Paraphrase. But there was no information in my brain; it was a complete blackout. Not freaking the F out was the biggest acting job of my life. It should be noted that this was my first time acting. Auditioning for the 10-Minute Plays was the first time I’d performed aloud from a script. My biggest fret going in wasn’t stage fright or projecting my voice or being believable. It was memorizing lines – and blanking during a show. I discovered early on that no matter how many times I recited all my lines perfectly laying in the coziness of my bed, rehearsals were another story. Suddenly, there were these pesky stage directions. I had to hit marks and gesticulate and react to the lines of others. Remembering lines while also remembering how to – I don’t know, walk – proved dif-

ficult initially. I’d say, “How am I supposed to swing my arms when I walk?” And they’d say, “Like you normally do,” and then I’d do what looked like a robot impression. What worried me greatly going into opening night was that, through all of our rehearsals, not once had I recited all my lines perfectly. Not once. Standing offstage, waiting for the cue from my costar Lisa Zwisler, I knew that the moment I walked into the lights, things would be set in unending motion for the next 10 minutes, like shoving off on a terribly long and stupidly frightening waterslide. As far as I could tell, Friday’s show became the first time I said all my lines without any flubs. Saturday was another story. Which led to the moment in the photo. In the play, my character was instructed by his loony therapist to peer into the ball to see his future but was unable to see anything at first. I was to gaze into the ball for about three seconds before I said the now-ironic line, “I thought I’d have more time.” My blanking meant that I paused about three seconds longer than I normally would have, extra moments I could have lived a lifetime in. Turns out it was the perfect spot to blank. I’m still surprised I didn’t lose it in front of everyone. Which got me thinking. Sometimes we want to look into a crystal ball; we want to know the future. Sometimes when we seek to discover where we’re heading and what might happen to us, there’s nothing there. It’s blank. We can’t see anything, and that can be terrifying. But maybe if we’re patient, maybe if we just give it a few unpanicked seconds, something will appear and our momentary angst and fretfulness and fear will dissipate. David Holub is the editor for DGO. dholub@bcimedia.com.

Yeah I know, head injuries, CTE, all that. Hating on football used to be more about snobby refinement or boredom with a silly, meaningless game. But now football haters have brain injuries and player welfare and science on their side. Loving football was never so difficult. Yet, I can’t help myself. Sure, it’s an excuse for multinational corporations to shove lowest-common-denominator commercials down our inane gullets, but do not forget the fellas actually playing the game. Anytime you have the chance to see someone who is the best in the world do what they do and physical freaks of nature, take it. The level of athleticism is astonishing. For a time, I covered high school football on Friday, college football Saturdays and NFL on Sunday. Watching high school kids – great athletes in their own right – was like watching a game in slow motion compared to the pros. The fastest NFL players are some of the fastest in the world. Positions once thought of as fat, slow guys – like defensive lineman, guys who are 250, 275 pounds – are now insanely fast and agile. Humans that large should not be able to move that quickly and gracefully. But disregard athleticism altogether. The strategy involved, the film study, the psychological maneuvering, the complexity of modern offensive and defensive schemes and the analytic aptitude required in highpressure moments on the field is all mind-boggling. In a Broncos game last season, Peyton Manning came to the line and, recognizing the particular defensive formation, he flashed receiver Wes Welker a discreet wave of the fingers, which told Welker to go this way instead of that on his route. The touchdown that resulted was way more intellectual than athletic in nature. That’s worth watching. — David Holub

Hate it I’ve experienced moments of mild interest in football over the years, centered primarily around brimming tables of hot wings, jalapeño poppers and cheesy Frito dip. Other than that, I’m basically bored to tears watching football, or even worse – listening to people TALK about football. For god’s sake ... WHO CARES! It’s just so terribly boring. My opinion about sports in general often falls somewhere along the lines of a quote by Amy Schumer in the film “Trainwreck,” where she admits, “No offense, I just think sports are stupid and anyone who likes them is just a lesser person.” Super Bowl XXVVIIABCDEFG (which I believe translates to 2009 in the Roman numerical system) briefly caught my attention when the New Orleans Saints beat the ever-loving crap out of whoever the losers were. I figured the people of New Orleans needed a solid win after Katrina’s devastating blow in 2005, so in between clawfuls of fried things, I actually paid attention. To date, it’s the only Super Bowl I’ve watched from beginning to end where I even developed a favorite player – Drew Brees – a real stand-up, hero-type guy compared to many of the other overpaid, deviant pro football brutes. This Thanksgiving, my dad insisted I join him for a viewing of the “The Longest Yard,” a football movie. Really? Can’t we just watch paint dry? I must admit it was surprisingly entertaining. However, it failed to convert me into a football enthusiast. Nope. Still don’t care. Pass the jalapeño poppers. — Jaime Becktel

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[booze]

First Draughts | Robert Alan Wendeborn

Do your bar crawl right: Durango’s best specialty shots

A

couple weeks ago a friend got back in town after being gone for a few months. He missed my birthday and wanted to take me out and celebrate it late. We went out and we went out hard. Of course, it didn’t hurt that my friend was telling everyone that it was my birthday. We went to as many bars as we could and basically got every specialty shot that Durango has to offer. A couple days later, it was David Holub/DGO photos a coworker’s actual »»  Annie Bennett attempts to drink the Muff Diver at Joel’s Bar. It was not her birthday. birthday, and we did the same thing. Yes, it was a rough couple of days. shot, and the martinis at The Office are so good that Doing this type of bar crawl in Durango isn’t you can throw them back pretty quickly. Ordering a hard, but if you want to do it right, if you want to set martini is pretty tricky, but this is how I order mine: yourself up for maximum fun and get all the best of »» A shaken (as opposed to stirred) Hendrick’s (a Durango, you’ll follow my lead. type of gin. You can also do vodka). Usually the best place to start is at Orio’s Road»» Dry (dry vermouth or very little vermouth. house, home of the Purple Fucker. Not exactly sure There is also sweet vermouth, and ordering your what goes into this sour beast (my guess is equal martini “perfect,” you get equal parts sweet and parts flavored vodka, Red Bull and regret), but it’s a dry). shot served on ice with a straw. It’s best to drink it »» A little dirty (dirty = olive brine). as fast as possible so that your entire body doesn’t »» Served up and neat (in a typical martini glass. smell like smoke later (Orio’s is a smoking bar, just a You usually don’t have to specify, but you can also heads up). And make sure you have your ID. On my order it on the rocks in a tumbler) with an extra “birthday” one of us forgot one and we missed this olive (or three). crucial stop on our bar crawl. The next stop, especially if it’s your birthday, This night though, me and my little crew started is Joel’s. And the shot you get on your birthday in at The Office. Amazing friend, musician and all Durango is a Muff Diver. It’s basically the opposite around beautiful human, Alex Paul, was playing. He of a martini: sugary, sweet and messy. The recipe at serenaded me with a lovely improvised tune about Joel’s starts with a cherry in the bottom of a martini my beard while I drank what is probably my second glass, then Malibu, followed by anything to give it favorite shot in Durango: A martini from The Ofa pink hue (grenadine, cherry vodka, cranberry, fice. I know, a martini isn’t typically a shot, but if etc.), topped with whipped cream. Pretty simple, but you drink it in a gulp or two it definitely counts as a

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house rules say no hands when doing a Muff Diver, so be prepared for the bartender to be a little rude if you pick up the glass or touch the cherry with anything but lips, teeth or tongue. At this point in the night, I usually go one of two ways: One last perfect drink to end the night, or all the drinks there are. If I want that last perfect drink, I’ll stop at El Moro and get a whisky on the rocks. El Moro has the best selection of whisky in town with some really great deals on bourbon. I usually go with Eagle Rare, a 7-year-old with a lot of character. But they really have any whisky you could want. And if I’m still down for anything after that sip of whisky, we end the night where the night always ends (and sometimes where it also starts): The Ranch. Sometimes at The Ranch you can sit at the bar and relax and other times you elbow your way through throngs of Durango amateurs. And unless it’s pint night, the thing I order at The Ranch is a shot and a beer. The shot is usually Fireball, the beer is usually High Life and this is always good night. Robert Alan Wendeborn puts the bubbles in the beer at Ska Brewing Co. His first book of poetry, The Blank Target, was published this past spring by The Lettered Streets Press and is available at Maria’s Bookshop. robbie@skabrewing.com

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[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

Some days, getting high just helps you along

T

urkey Day seemed like a good day for a wake-n-bake. It’s not something I do a whole lot of nowadays. Most of my mornings involve a yogurt and fruit concoction from the blender, a mason jar of coffee and a few hours of wandering around the woods and cornfields with a crew of dogs. Not a bad gig if you can get it ... My brother was due at the house at 9, so at about 20 of, I grabbed my bong, mashed up a bud between my fingers and jumped into the shower as the two milky tubes I’d pulled started to do their thing. More than anything else these days, getting high helps me to see myself in a gentler light and usually ends up making me laugh at myself. It also helps with my various aches and pains (couple surgeries, couple car accidents) – this would be key as the day proceeded. Sometimes getting high helps life along, lets you lower your shield to get closer to the heart of things. I remember Good Friday when I was 15. About a year before, I’d started arguing with my parents every weekend; I didn’t want to go to church. I’d lose that argument 52 weeks a year plus holidays, and I was pissed about it. I got high with my friend Scott, and went to St. Thomas the Apostle while he went to get a pizza. As the sun set through the stained glass on the left side of the parish I’d attended for a decade, a peace came over me as I realized that what I was seeing in the blazing pictorial parables was a group of mes-

sages that boiled down to just one word: Love. I walked down the street to grab a slice as the sun disappeared behind the mountain. That feeling of grace is one that has recurred throughout my life, coming to visit me at the most opportune times. My mom is the oldest of 10 children; her mom is the oldest of nine. So, holidays can be, for the lack of a better term, a complete and total zoo when the Family Proper gets involved. Sometimes it pays to brace oneself.

This Thanksgiving, the guest list consisted of my parents, the Missus and me, my brother, my sister and her husband and four kids, a skeleton crew of 11. We arrived in time to jump in the car with my dad, my brother-in-law and the kids to go watch my cousin play his final high school football game. Things were going swimmingly. Then, my 8-year-old nephew spun to dodge the rest of us as we tried to dislodge the football he carried; in the process, his elbow came up and clipped my right eyebrow ... just ... exactly ... perfectly. I saw a little lump forming. I looked down at my nephew and back up at my dad. The lump had already doubled in size – I could tell from the lessened field of vision that it was gonna be a beauty; his look confirmed it. He sent two of the kids over to the concession stand to grab me an unopened soda, a placeholder for the bag of frozen peas that would grace my face on and off for the remainder of the afternoon. Holidays! This is my life as 2015 winds down. Things have settled into a nice little groove. The the purples, reds and golds in the upper right quadrant of my face will probably match that stained window from that church so long ago until Christmastime, but whatchu gonna do? I suppose I’ll stay thankful, stay high and laugh at myself until we meet here next week. Be well ’til then. Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good.

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[ strain of the week]

[ high-ass recipes ]

California Toast You don’t have to be high to enjoy this ... but it sure doesn’t hurt Growing up in California I was a fat, glossy, lucky little child with a large avocado orchard at my disposal. I grew into a fat, glossy, lucky little teenager who developed a stoner recipe so simple and so delicious it’s just plain stupid. I’m sure we can all agree to the fact that avocados are positively danktastic. Add one to a piece of toast with some melted cheese and you’re high ass is going interstellar.

Chem-4 What is it? Chem-4 is considered the best of the Chemdog phenotypes, and, unlike the others, is more of an indica. Shrouded in mystery and arguments, its rumored beginnings say it is from Montana with early roots in Colorado and Massachusetts. Let’s just say it’s an all-American. The Effects This fast-hitting strain feels instantly uplifting like a high-end sativa for the first 15 minutes. Then, out of nowhere, it body slams you and refuses to let you up for a few hours. The body buzz is warm and comfortable, but time feels like it’s moving extremely slow while you try to figure out what just hit you. The Smell A deep inhale makes you feel the smell deep in your upper sinuses while you visualize a blender filled with oranges and freshly cut pine needles. The Look The Chem-4 plant creates very resinous buds that, if grown properly, have a pale green appearance with an overabundance of crystals. The Taste Despite a very small hint of diesel smell when fresh, the taste is more lemon citrus and goes down nice and smooth

What you need:

Directions:

1 perfectly ripe avocado

Set your oven to High Broil and place the rack in the uppermost position. Broil the toast slightly for 1 to 2 minutes, keeping a close eye on that shit so it don’t burn to all hell. Place a piece of cheese on each slice of bread and return to the oven until perfectly melted. Pull out the toasted cheesy bread, slather on mashed-up avo, sprinkle with pepper, salt and bacon niblets. Give thanks and shove it in your fat, glossy, lucky face.

2 slices of bread (any bread will do, but sourdough, rye and squaw comprise the holy trinity of California toast optimization) 2 slices of cheese (provolone, Swiss and Havarti are my dream team) ¼ tsp black pepper (Fresh cracked pepper is obviously superior) ¼ tsp salt (Course grain sea salt is really what’s up) Note: If you happen to have some bacon kicking around, or perhaps a live pig you might slaughter and slice into small, fry-able little niblets, go ahead and do that.

Serves 1 — Jaime Becktel Got a go-to-high-ass recipe? Send it to editor@dgomag.com

~ DURANGO’S ~

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The Final verdict Chem-4 is a very powerful strain, and beginners should use caution. I really enjoyed the initial Sativa feel, but was disappointed to see it go when the time-warping indica set in. Most people who smoked it loved the down side. It definitely enhances your visual perception, and some faint hallucinations can be seen if you overindulge. It’s good for stress, pain, headaches, insomnia and destroying a bag of Doritos while watching TV.

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[sound] What’s new Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Archie and the Bunkers, “Archie and the Bunkers”

Magi Nation puts a local, Durango spin on reggae

T

he level of reggae fandom is often void of a gray area. For some, it’s a genre listened to with an opinion of lethargic indifference. For others, it’s a lifestyle around the music, a whole-hog fanaticism involving not only the music but its culture. Many casual reggae music fans own “Legend,” a best of Bob Marley that features all the hits and has been a gateway drug of releases that could lead to the harder stuff: Peter Tosh, Bunny Wailer and maybe Third World and Burning Spear. After your consumption of the canon, you’re jonezing on a vast and ever-growing genre featuring plenty of bands that exist outside Jamaica, a slew of international and domestic bands flying above and below the radar. It’s a genre that influenced all the members of Magi Nation, Durango’s local reggae band playing Friday at The Balcony Backstage. They are Daniel Sagetree on guitar and vocals, Nick Hagglof on guitar, Ari Newkirk on bass, Aaron Hagglof on keyboard and “Rasta” Stevie Smith on drums. The band came together when Nick Hagglof and Sagetree met at Bandwagon Music; they began playing reggae music under the name “Unknown Souljah” and when that band fizzled, the two recruited newer members and moved on. Smith had played drums in Telluride reggae band 8750 and put away the drumsticks for years until joining this band. Magi Nation has turned into a vehicle for Sagetree’s songwriting. Prolific with his pen, what began as writing folk-rock morphed into writing reggae tunes. “I wrote one reggae song, and it clicked,” said Sagetree in a recent interview at KDUR. “The feelings, and inspiration, I was channeling reggae. It’s that perfect vehicle for the higher consciousness, coming from

Friday: Reggae with Magi Nation, 9 p.m. No cover. The Balcony Backstage, 600 Main Avenue upstairs. Information 764-4083. Rastafari and self-determination. Reggae found me.” Reggae music has always been connected with the Rastafarian “religion” and lifestyle. While Rastafari is practiced by some of the band members, its not what drives and defines them musically. What does define them is a raw and honest dedication to the music and their own place within this style of music. “I always dreamed of a music that could be the historical expression of who and what we are and be fun. Reggae is the portal to be able to spread a message, but at the same time have fun and enjoy,” said Smith. “It’s grabbing a bunch of kids and inspiring the youth. We’re not Jamaican Rastafarians, we’re just Durangoans, and we just have our song.” In this ever-sensitive society, the world is continuing to take notice now more than ever of color and culture. Authenticity can be genuinely questioned, especially with any band playing a style of music so defined by its place of origin. What Magi Nation isn’t doing is claiming they’re something they’re not, while openly admitting a flat-out love for reggae. “I’m in a domestic reggae band,” said Nick Hagglof. “At the end of the day I’m as white as they come, but I love that music. It has nothing to do with the color of your skin. Reggae music is reggae music, rain or shine, black or white.” Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

Available now

»»

Label: Dirty Water Records (UK)

Very, very rarely is one of my favorite albums of the year released as late as November. I mean, it happens ... just not all that often. Usually, I need some time to digest a new album, especially if it’s a band’s first proper full-length. So let me just say outright that a couple of teenage brothers from Cleveland made one of the best records of 2015.

Bryant’s best Friday: Papa Otis and the Greasy Motors, 7 p.m. No cover. Sideshow Emporium, 501 Main Avenue. Information 970-739-4646.

»»

Archie and the Bunkers are a duo comprised of teenaged brothers Emmet (14, drums/vocals) and Cullen (16, organ/vocals) O’Connell playing self-described Hi-Fi Organ Punk, no guitar or bass, just a four piece drum kit, an organ and the commingling of guttural, frenetic vocals that demonstrate maturity well beyond their years. This is raw, minimalist rock ’n’ roll that sounds simultaneously fresh and vintage. Their self-titled record was recorded in Detroit with the engineer/producer Jim Diamond (of the Dirtbombs) at Ghetto Recorders and is steeped in the rich lineage of artists to have recorded there before. Archie and the Bunkers is a strong argument that rock ’n’ roll is best when made by the young. Recommended if you like The King Khan and BBQ Show, Screaming Lord Sutch and The Savages, The Cramps, The Screamers or Dead Boys — Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

New at Southwest Sound New releases for Dec. 4 »»Coldplay, “Head Full of Dreams” »»Curren$y, “Canal Street Confidential” »»G Eazy, “When It’s Dark Out” »»Rick Ross, “Black Market” »»SunnO))), “Kannon”

[the wisdom of bill murray]

Parties are only bad when a fight breaks out, when men fight over women or vice versa. Someone takes a fall, an ambulance comes, and the police arrive. If you can avoid those things, pretty much all behaviour is acceptable.

“ “

Life is so damn short. For f*&%’s sake, just do what makes you happy.

I live a little bit on the seat of my pants, I try to be alert and available ... for life to happen to me.

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[sound]

Size matters

»» Jimmy Carabbia of Durango Guitar Works talks about his

guitars that are short in scale, and long in performance By Cyle Talley Special to DGO

“I guess the first thing you’ve got to know is that I come from a bike racing background,” Jimmy Carabbia, owner and founder of Durango Guitar Works, is a compactly built man with a wry grin. “And racing in the pro class, there weren’t age limits, so I’d be looking around at the starting line and seeing guys of all ages riding differentsized bikes. That’s what I’m bringing to guitars.” »»  Durango Guitar Works, a locallybased company that specializes in manufacturing short-scale electric guitars, began as an idea at Katzin Music. Carabbia had been playing guitar for several years, but with hands in disrepair after being broken in bicycle crashes, he felt hindered and frustrated by his inability to stretch his hands in the same way other players could. “So I pick up this kid’s guitar one day just goofing off,” he said, “and I’m able to just fly up and down the fretboard. I’m shocked. My hands are doing things they’ve never been able to do before. I go home and do some research and that’s when I first heard the term ‘short scale’, and my first thought is, ‘Well, I guess my guitar is too big for me.’” The modern electric guitar has its origins and specifications born out of two companies, Fender and Gibson, whose scale lengths (the measurement from the nut to the bridge) measure 25.5 inches and 24.75 inches, respectively. Each of the four Durango Guitar Works models – the Contender, the Iron Horse, the 4130 and its newest model debuting next week, the Iron Horse II – features a 24-inch scale. “It goes back to bike racing,” Carabbia said. “There are large, medium and small frames – something for everyone … Why is a 5-foot-2 guy playing something that might inhibit him from his full guitar-playing potential? Why are women expected to play instruments that aren’t ergonomically designed for them? Why, for a kid to have a quality instrument that stays in tune, does he have to play his dad’s guitar? That’s what DGW is all about. We want to put instruments in peoples’ hands that allow them to feel com-

overseas in a factory that he’s pleased to partner with. “Building a guitar by hand, of the quality that I want to see, would take hundreds of hours. The guys who can do it are amazing, and the guitars they build are worth every penny of the two or three grand you’ll spend on them, but my goal is to get quality guitars into the hands of people who need them at David Holub/DGO a price that is attainable. I Jimmy Carabbia of Durango Guitar Works. remember shoveling driveways all winter long to save up for my first BMX racing bike, and fortable so that they can feel inspired. I remember how proud I was to “I come from a place in Ohio where, if plop down my stack of cash to something breaks or isn’t working as well buy it. I want my guitars to be as it could, then you get together with a few obtainable, to be affordable and guys and you build something that does,” within reach of lots of players.” Carabbia said. “Durango is the same way. It really nurtures the ‘I’ve got an idea, let’s do this’ mindset.” Durango Guitar Works models are Carabbia said that he’s not making kid’s available online at durangoguitarguitars, but real instruments for performing works.com or at Katzin Music, 1316 musicians who’ve never quite found their Main Ave., Durango. Each of the fit. “There are plenty of advantages – less four DGW models retails at $399 or string tension means less finger fatigue, less. people with range-of-motion issues like mine have an easier time fretting chords and playing scales, which means more comfort and enjoyment. Kids get a guitar that fits their stature that’s built with the quality that matches and inspires their growing abilities. I’ve even heard of guys that buy them for traveling because they fit in the overhead compartment so easily.” The Iron Horse II, like each of its three predecessors, features DGW’s 24-inch scale, and adds a bevy of details that Carabbia says make it a guitar that “works for the songwriter or performer who plays country one night and classic rock the next. This thing can do it all. “I didn’t invent the short scale,” Carabbia said. “Brian May of Queen, Ted Nugent, Kurt Cobain and many others have played a short scale throughout their careers. But if you’d have told me six years ago that I’d be releasing a fourth model, I’d have laughed.” While Carabbia designs and specifies each and every detail of his guitars, they’re built

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On El Moro, the sheriff, the shot and other lost souls

Lucas Hess | bartender/manager

Lucas Hess:

One night, it was a Friday night, it was a real busy shift, full bar. I’m ringing someone out at the cash register, and as I’m at the register punching in my numbers and everything, I just see a champagne flute come off the rack – come straight off the rack – and turn sideways in the air and drop straight down. The way it came off the rack didn’t make sense, like it falling off or anything. The way it fell was so crazy to me. I see it fall and look around the bar, like “Did anyone else see this?” and everybody’s just chatting along. So I looked down, picked up the glass and went to the other side of the bar, and I was like, “I don’t know what I just saw.” From then

On our maintenance day, we leave (Sheriff Thompson) a bottle of whiskey up there for any time he’s rooting around and he needs his own ghost shot. So we’re pulling everything down, we’re wiping it all down, cleaning up the whole place and we go to refill the bottle and one of our other managers starts mixing these things to make it look like whiskey but not actually. We start losing it. We’ve all seen too much happen here, you can’t be giving this guy fake booze. You fill that thing with whiskey right now. We gave him a shot glass and filled it with actual whiskey. We will pay for the whiskey. That is not a problem. Don’t shortchange the sheriff. We fill up the shot when anything’s going awry. I remember one time we had a bunch of computer problems and we were like, “Fill up the shot! Fill up the shot!” So we go fill up the shot, and 30 minutes later all the systems start rebooting themselves and working again. I was like, “It’s because we filled up that shot.”

on, I was a little more of a believer. That’s something small but it is – I mean, it would make sense if there was a jammin’ party or something and the walls were vibrating and it falls off. But it was smooth, turn and drop. There’ve been other times I’ve been closing the place down by myself. I see out of the corner of my eye something in the kitchen dance by or just walk through, shadow-style. That was all before I saw the cocktail glass come off and drop on the ground. So I always thought it was my mind playing tricks on me, and when I saw that happen, I was like, “Maybe these guys aren’t messing around with me.”

Sarah Moxam | bartender/manager

Shaun Stanley/BCI Media

»»  A shrine to slain Sheriff William Thompson atop the bar at El Moro on Main Avenue.

I’ve run out multiple times. ... When we first opened, I’d close by myself. And there were like three different times where I left the bar and came back at 6 o’clock in the morning to clean because I was so terrified. You’d see shadows – I’m not even kidding. So you would see in the back kitchen, you’d see people walk back and forth and then you’d look back and there’s nothing there. Then you’d feel that void, you know when somebody’s right by you, you feel that void of space. So I would feel that behind me. And they’ve heard swishing on the floor, like a lady’s skirt. People

thought I was crazy. I was bartending one night and the Galliano bottle – super heavy – so if it falls, it’s going to fall, hardcore. So I’m in mid bar service when we first opened, and I bring the ladder by and the bottle goes like this (shows the bottle smoothly lean itself over) and just shoots right back up. And I looked around the bar to everybody and this one girl saw it. This was a full bar and this one girl saw my face turn bright and she’s like “I (bleeping) saw that. I (bleeping) saw that.” I was like, “You saw that, right?”

‘From then on, I was a little more of a believer’ Jerai Matkovich: I tested it at home. I poured myself a shot glass and put it up in my kitchen to see how it would evaporate. It still hasn’t. (The shot at El Moro) will evaporate in a week or two. I was on Sunday nights and I made it a thing pretty much every other Sunday, I was filling that up and it was empty. But I filled that (shot glass) up at my house months ago and it still hasn’t evaporated. So we keep it full. We don’t ask questions about it. Sarah Moxam: I’ve heard rustling of coattails, like dress tails, on the wood. This whole block used to be brothels and bars. I think it’s not just the sheriff. I think there were a lot of other lost souls. They’re not bad spirits, but they’re here.

10 | Thursday, December 3, 2015  •

Animated bottles, floating glasses, slamming doors: El Moro employees tell tales of the spooky and unexplainable By David Holub | DGO Editor

I

t’s the site of perhaps Durango’s most famous shooting, when, in January 1906, Durango Deputy Marshal Jesse Stansel and La Plata County Sheriff William Thompson dueled outside of what is now El Moro Spirits and Tavern. It’s also the site of some of Durango’s freakiest ghost stories. But are they connected? Reportedly having had his share of drinking, Thompson walked out of El Moro, approached Stansel and got mouthy over Stansel’s alleged lax enforcement of gambling laws. The exchange ended in a shootout, both men wounded multiple times and Thompson dead en route to the hospital. It was an odd and tragic death and plenty of details make Thompson a lost-soul candidate. There were conflicting accounts about

who fired the first shot; at some point Thompson was shot in the back and perhaps not by Stansel; Thompson’s clothes, aka, evidence, were burned at Hood Mortuary; and Stansel was ultimately acquitted of Thompson’s death. Since opening in the summer of 2013, a number of El Moro employees have had encounters with the paranormal and/or the unexplainable. Some believe it to be the ghost of Thompson, who’s been offered a shrine atop the bar, complete with his own bottle of whiskey and shot, which spookily needs to be refilled occasionally. It used to be called El Moro Saloon. Now, it is officially El Moro Spirits and Tavern. After reading the stories that follow, you’ll understand what they really mean by spirits.

Jerai Matkovich | bartender/manager This (coffee filter basket) just came out of the dishwasher. There was a group of a few of us standing around and I put this thing back in (demonstrates putting it in securely). I turn around (a few feet away) and all the sudden I hear something crash on the floor and this thing had popped out and hit a girl that was standing here in the back. She was like, “Did somebody just throw that at me?” Probably a good

10 seconds (had gone) by before it shot right out of here. That was an eerie one. We were standing (in the corner) polishing glasses one night, and Crystal, who used to work here, was standing right underneath (a cheese grater sconce) and the light bulb popped out, hit the (ceiling) and then shattered on the ground right next to her. And that sconce was smoking. That was the weirdest one for me.

Charlie Curtis | chef I get here fairly early in the morning, usually about 6 or so. I come in and the place was dark, obviously. ... I was back there in the prep area and there’s a compression door down the hallway there that you press on it and it makes a noise. I was in the prep area with my back to the door. It’s 6:15 in the morning and the door goes whap, whap, whap. I thought, OK, we have a cleaning guy that comes in. His name is Francisco, and Francisco must be here. About five minutes later, I went to get a cup of coffee and realized everything was still dark up here, Francisco wasn’t here, that’s really strange. So I

went back to the prep area, and I wasn’t really thinking a lot about it. I don’t believe in ghosts. But I had my back to the door again and it started going whap, whap, whap, whap, whap, whap, whap, and I turn around and the door was swinging … and then it stopped. Again, I don’t believe in ghosts so I’m like, “OK, that’s really weird.” So I went into the bathroom, closed the door, obviously, and the compression door started slamming against the wall for about the 30 seconds that I was in there. Just slamming against the wall. There were actually marks where some of the plaster had come off.

••••••   Thursday, December 3, 2015 | 11


[Sartorial over-enthusiasm with Heather of Sideshow]

[pages] This week’s Maria’s staff pick The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde

Style Fetish | Heather Narwid

Let this first column be in praise of pants, specifically and adoringly, Carhartt or Dickies canvas work pants in that iconic hot mustard gold. This common color of the bottom halves of many Colorado men is evocative in the extreme, bringing to mind hard work, capability, beer and honey, toughness and integrity. That mellow yellow gold means something is about to get hammered or welded or lasso’ed or otherwise set to rights. Seeing Carhartt gold on my man makes me feel safe, sexy, and somehow, also implies that there’s plenty of kindling. In style, Carhartt yellow is a gorgeous and interesting neutral. It looks amazing with any color in the spectrum, in an even more exciting way than black. Against any color, it contrasts, it emphasizes, it makes other colors more saturated, it looks like crazy-good mountain man chic when worn with black on top. Men, you are unaware yet resplendent in Carhartts and a red and black lumberjack checked flannel, navy blue band tee or burgundy plaid snap shirt, white buttonup or black wool sweater. You can do almost no wrong here. But be as thoughtful and capable in style as you are in your Carhartt-clad labor and keep a new pair in good shape for wearing for date night, casual western weddings, parties, etc. Wear with any color, darling, just be thoughtful about that shirt – is it clean, hole-free, and of appropriate nice-ness for your destination and company? So work, play, hunt and Carhartt it up with impunity and in full confidence that you look sexy and capable in whichever shirt color you choose. Be well and do well, fella, moving through this tough world in your magical, meaningful and ever-matching pants. Got a style/fashion question for Heather? Of course you do. Send it to sideshowdolores@gmail.com

A gripping story of mystique, skillfully decorated with the flowery writing of Victorian author Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray was not only an accomplishment for its time, but remains a literary vision even today. Through the story of Dorian Gray, Basil Hallward, Henry Wolton and an eclectic mixture of other residents of late 19th century London, Wilde explores poetic notions of aesthetic quality in art, the interacting relationships of human purity and debauchery and most of all, the descent of a young beautiful man into moral destruction. Criticized for its scandalous and immoral content, Wilde’s only novel commences as friend and artist Basil paints a picture of Dorian that he believes is unparalleled to his other artistic works. Hallward justly fears the picture reveals too much of his own compassionate feelings toward his friend as it depicts Dorian’s famed beauty in a way Hallward never has before. Upon viewing the portrait, the ever corrupting Henry Wolton laments to Dorian the tragedy of all time passing, the eventual beauty of youth lost. Scandalized by the thought of losing his reputable good looks, a highly relied upon aspect of his personality, Dorian makes a wish that will change his life forever. Dorian pledges his entire soul if only the painting could “bear the burden of age

and infamy,” thus allowing him to stay forever youthful. As the story progresses, Dorian’s portrait indeed begins to bear the deeds of his life. These deeds, under Lord Henry’s scandalous influence, a man with a philosophy dedicated to the sole endeavor of pleasure, become pursuits of an increasingly dark nature. Dorian finds himself involved in scandals of suicide, drugs and a general corrupted debauchery extreme even in contemporary times. However, as the portrait continues to bear all of the sins that would otherwise be written on the lines of his face, his wealthy scandalized friends of upperclass England cannot seem to believe the rumors that encircle the man whose face and demeanor still appear so pure. A classic novel of epic proportions, Wilde flew far ahead of his time in his imaginative story of a beautiful man who makes a childish wish that will forever change the fate of himself and his friends. Not only filled with an intriguing plot, but the notions of corruption and beauty that Wilde explores in Dorian Gray will cause the reader to ponder far after the pages are closed, wondering what this novel is truly about. Filled with layers upon layers, this book is an all-time favorite, as I will never cease attempting to piece together Wilde’s complex characters or grow tired of his poetic prose that make reading the novel feel as if one is part of the story’s dream. — Meghan Doenges

Maria’s Bookshop top sellers Nov. 22 to Nov. 28 »»1. Diary of a Wimpy Kid 10: Old School, by Jeff Kinney (Hardcover) »»2. Cortez the Gnome, by Amadee Ricketts (Paperback) »»3. Polar Express 30th Anniversary Edition, by Chris van Allsburg (Hardcover) »»4. Cold Smoke: Skiing Colorado’s San Juan Mountains, by Andrew Klotz (Paperback) »»5. Thing Explainer: Complicated

Stuff in Simple Words, by Randall

Munroe (Hardcover) »»6. How to Relax, by Thich Nhat Hanh (Paperback) »»7. The Martian, by Andy Weir (Paperback) »»8. An Atlas of Tolkien, by David Day (Hardcover) »»9. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, by Caitlin Doughty (Paperback) »»10. I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats, by Francesco Marciuliano (Hardcover)

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[Get Smart: Expert Advice on Trivial Affairs]

Graphic Novels Want (or maybe need) some pictures to spice up your reading material? Let bookseller Jaime Cary of Maria’s Bookshop teach you about graphic novels. They’re a whole lot more than your nerdy friend’s comic books used to be.” How did you discover graphic novels?

What do you say to those who dismiss graphic novels as comic books? Where’s the line between the two?

I had a great teacher in fourth grade who made us read one book a month, and each month was a different genre. The month that graphic novels were assigned, I chose one about “Sailor Moon,” because I was already watching the TV show and had a good idea of what it might be like. I was immediately hooked. Everything I loved about the show was there, but darker, cooler and stranger.

Anything that makes you feel something is important, and shouldn’t be dismissed. “Beauty and the Beast” earned an Academy Award nomination for Best Picture in 1992 because it’s a beautiful story being told in an interesting, unique way. Graphic novels have the same power. As for the line, it’s tricky. A comic book is episodic, like a sitcom that wraps up in a half hour, whereas a graphic novel is a film. So there’s an argument that you can collect a series of comic books to make a graphic novel, that each comic book becomes a chapter, but I think the intention is a bit different.

What got you on board so quickly? I loved to read as a kid, but I also loved the visual of TV, so it was amazing to feel like I got both things at the same time. You get the physical cues of expression and posture, as well as some great action sequences, and also the subtleties of text. They just mesh wonderfully to tell stories that are interesting, complex and often wonderfully weird.

Give us a graphic novel that made you laugh cover-tocover, and one that made you think, cry or hurt? Smile, by Raina Telgemeier is one that really made me laugh. The protagonist is a young girl who gets braces, fights with her younger sister, and tries to survive middle school. I had braces, and I remember what it was like to not be able to eat spaghetti, and to feel so ... awkward. Preacher, by Garth Ennis bothered me. It’s such heavy and philosophical topical matter and explores all of these things – the nature of good and evil, God, Jesus, the fallibility of humanity, and religion – in ways that are just unsettling. But it’s so great.

Who do you recommend them to? Everyone should read a graphic novel at least once, and the topical matter is so unlimited that everyone can find something that they’re interested in or enjoy. They’re wonderful for the child who’s a reluctant reader, but they’re also a great way for a serious reader to reimagine or reconsider a classic like Moby Dick. If you’re more visual than textual, and you haven’t read a graphic novel, you’re missing out.

What’s your Mount Rushmore of graphic novels? V for Vendetta, by Alan Moore, The Walking Dead, by Robert Kirkman, which is probably the most ambitious graphic novel yet, as far as length, Maus, by Art Spiegleman, and one that I think anyone who’s into graphic novels should read immediately, Saga, by Brian K. Vaughan. The art is spectacular, and the writing is dark, funny and totally consuming.

Where should the newbie begin? For the adult, I’d say Persepolis, by Marjane Satrapi. It’s nonfiction, which is somewhat rare for the graphic novel, and it’s the story of 1979 Glorious Revolution Iran, as told from the perspective of a young Muslim girl in secular Iran as it transitions to a religious government. The art is very simple – black and white – and it’s an easy world to enter into. I’d also recommend graphic novels that have been turned into films – V for Vendetta, Watchmen – because it’s easy to track a story you’re already familiar with. From there, people can begin to form their own tastes. Book Riot posts wonderful reviews.

— Cyle Talley

David Holub/DGO

»»  Jaime Cary, of Maria’s Bookshop, is rather smart when it comes to graphic novels.

Cyle Talley loved reading Watchmen, by Alan Moore and Fun Home, by Alison Bechdel while preparing for this week’s Get Smart, and would never openly admit it, but will totally read any graphic novel featuring Batman or X-Men. Though he supposes he just did admit it openly, didn’t he?

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[ movies ] Man Up

Krampus

Playing at Animas City Theatre

Playing at Durango Stadium 9 Rating:

Rating:

PG-13

Unrated

Genre:

Genre:

Horror

Comedy, romance

Directed by: Michael

Directed by: Ben

Dougherty Written by: Todd

Palmer Written by: Tess Morris

Casey, Michael Dougherty

Runtime: 1 hr. 27 min.

Runtime: 1 hr. 38 min. Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer: Not available Synopsis: When his dysfunctional

family clashes over the holidays, young Max is disillusioned and turns his back on Christmas. Little does he know, this lack of festive spirit has unleashed the wrath of Krampus: a demonic force of ancient evil intent on punishing non-believers. All hell breaks loose as beloved holiday icons take on a monstrous life of their own, laying siege to the fractured family’s home and forcing them to fight for each other if they hope to survive.

Jafar Panahi’s Taxi Playing at the Gaslight Wednesday only With subtitles Rating:

Unrated Genre:

Documentary Directed by: Jafar Panahi Written by: Jafar Panahi Runtime: 1 hr. 22 min. Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer: 95% Synopsis: Acclaimed director Jafar

Panahi drives a yellow cab through the vibrant streets of Tehran, picking up a diverse (and yet representative) group of passengers in a single day. Each man, woman and child candidly expresses his or her own view of the world, while being interviewed by the gracious driver/ director.

Film Frame/Disney/Copyright Lucasfilm 2015 via AP

»»  Daisey Ridley as Rey, left, and John Boyega as Finn, perform in the new film, “Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens,” directed by J.J. Abrams. The movie will be released in the U.S. on Dec. 18.

May the hype be with you By Richard Roeper The Chicago Sun-Times

Wait a minute. There’s a new “Star Wars” movie coming out? Wow, who knew? Answer: Everyone in the conscious universe. If “The Force Awakens” isn’t the most heavily hyped movie of all time, I’d like to hear your other contender. Yes, there was a massive buildup to “Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace” in 1999, but in the late 1990s, there was no Facebook, no YouTube, no Twitter. Ever since “Episode VII” was announced, the hype machine has been dialed up, with fans and the media dissecting every bit of casting news, every photo, every spoiler. We’re still two weeks away from the Dec. 18 release date, but ticket presales have already surpassed $50 million in North America alone. Someone on Twitter asked me if I thought “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” could live up to the hype. No. Nothing the human eye has ever experienced could live up to this hype. If Jesus himself were to descend from the heavens and introduce the film on opening night, some fans would say, “Ah, I liked him better in the original. The se-

quel is never as good!” As for the original “Star Wars” – which eventually came to be known as “Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope” – what was the hype level before its release on May 25, 1977? The anticipation level was medium-warm. George Lucas was already a pretty big deal in the mid-1970s, what with the success of his “American Graffiti” in 1973. Around that time, after Lucas’ attempt to acquire the rights to “Flash Gordon” was unsuccessful, he decided to create his own space opera, which at one point was titled “Star Wars: From the Adventures of Luke Starkiller.” After production delays, a filming schedule that went over budget, reshoots and multiple editing changes, “Star Wars” was finally ready to be released, but 20th Century Fox and theater owners around the country weren’t exactly doing cartwheels. “Star Wars” was released in 32 theaters, with eight more theaters adding the film over the next few days. As for media coverage, it was decidedly restrained. A week after the film’s release, The Washington Post noted that “Star Wars” had set a record for opening-week grosses in the D.C. area, bringing in about $94,992.

Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer: 81% Synopsis: Nancy, is done with dat-

ing. So when Jack blindly mistakes her for his date, no one is more surprised than her when she does the unthinkable and just goes with it. It’s going to take a night of pretending to be someone else for Nancy to finally man up and be her painfully honest, unconventional self ... but will Jack also man up, and be able to get over her duplicity?

Elf Playing at Animas City Theatre Wednesday only Rating:

PG Genre:

Kids & family, comedy, special interest Directed by: Jon Favreau Written by: David Berenbaum, Jon

Favreau Runtime: 1 hr. 47 min. Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer: 84% Synopsis: Saturday Night Live-alum

Will Ferrell stars as Buddy, a regularsized man who was raised as an elf by Santa Claus (Edward Asner). When the news is finally broken to Buddy that he’s not a real elf, he decides to head back to his place of birth, New York City, in search of his biological family. Elf also stars James Caan, Mary Steenburgen, Zooey Deschanel and Bob Newhart.

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[love and sex]

My boyfriend cheated with his ex’s sister. Deal breaker? Savage Love | Dan Savage

I’m a straight female in my mid 20s. I’ve been dating a wonderful guy for two years – but I recently found something that has put me on edge. Before we met, he was in a relationship with a terrible, alcoholic and mentally unstable woman. They got pregnant early in the relationship and stayed together for about five years. We met a year after they broke up. I felt like I’d come to terms with the ugliness of his past, with his trying to stay in a bad relationship for the sake of his child and the rest of it. But recently, thanks to the vastness of the Internet, I came across a suggestive photo of my boyfriend with his ex’s sister. I asked him about it, and he admitted to sleeping with her while he was with his ex. He says it was during a particularly bad period, he was very drunk, she made the first move, etc., but I’m just so grossed out. Cheating is one thing, but [freaking] your girlfriend’s sister? And it’s not like this was a 19-year-old’s mistake; he was near 30 and the father of a child. He also fudged a little about whether it was just one time or a few times. I feel like now I’m questioning his integrity. This is something that I wouldn’t have thought him capable of doing. What do I do? All Twisted Up What do you do? You ask yourself if you believe your boyfriend when he says [freaking] his then-girlfriend’s sister was a mistake, ATU, one he deeply regrets and one he never intends to repeat. If you can’t be romantically involved with someone capable of doing such a terrible sister-[freaking] thing, the question is a rhetorical one. You’ll have to end the relationship regardless of the answer. But if you could stay with someone capable of doing such a terrible sister-[freaking] thing, and if you believe your boyfriend when he says it was a mistake, one he regrets and won’t happen again, then you stay in the relationship. And when you find yourself feeling squicked out by the knowledge that your boyfriend [freaked] around on his previous girlfriend with her own sister, you

remind yourself that good and decent people sometimes do shitty, indecent, sister-[freaking]-ish things – and then you pause to consider all the shitty and/ or indecent things you’ve done in your life, ATU, some, most or all of which your boyfriend presumably remains blissfully unaware. It’s too bad that suggestive/incriminating photo is rattling around out there in the vastness of the Internet, ATU, but I’m curious about how exactly you “came across” it in the first place. If you went looking for dirt – if you were snooping – you found it. Congrats. I’m not against snooping in all instances. People often find out shit they had both a right and an urgent need to know: the BF/GF/NBF*/ fiancé/spouse is cheating in a way that puts you at risk, they’re running up ruinous debts, they’re hiding a secret second family, they’re attending Donald Trump rallies, etc. But just as often, we find out shit we didn’t need to know – something in the BF/GF/NBF’s past, something they regret, something they’ll never do again (do you even have a sister?) – and can never unknow. You learned that your boyfriend did something pretty [freaked] up. Whether you decide to stay or go, ATU, remember that you snoop at your own risk – sorry, remember that you explore “the vastness of the Internet” at your own risk. I’m a 37-year-old straight male in a relationship with a slightly older woman. I have a GGG girlfriend, and I am completely GGG – until we talk about having an MMF threesome. We have great sex and have experimented together. We tried playing with a couple to give her the “two-dick experience” she wanted, but the other man was of “average” size and she was not into it. I’m of average stature, and she made such a fuss of having someone extra large join in that it threw my hang-up about my size into overdrive. It’s paralyzed me sexually. I’m afraid she’ll leave me or run off looking to fulfill her need on her own. Average Nerdy Guy Shunning Threesomes

If leaving you is the only way this woman can ever experience an above-average cock again, ANGST, then she might leave you. Depending on how important sitting on an above-average cock now and then is to her, your insecurities may create an incentive for her to leave you or cheat on you. But if she can have you and all the good times and the great GGG sex you two have together – if she can continue to enjoy your cock and the things it and you can do for her along with the occasional ride on an above-average cock – then you’ve created a massive incentive for her to stay. How bad is chlamydia? My gynecologist left me a voicemail, and I am absolutely terrified. A quick Google search told me that it can cause infertility if left untreated – what it didn’t tell me is how long when left untreated before it causes infertility? I told my boyfriend of 10 months, and he seems very sane about it. But I am terrified that he’ll leave me. HELP! Seriously Terrified Damsel

he’s not someone you want in your life or in your twat. My younger brother outed me to our parents, our siblings and our only living grandparent. I’m a straight woman and into bondage, SM and kinky swinging – nothing outrageous – and I tried to keep this aspect of my sexuality (and my marriage) hidden. Things are fine now: Mom and Dad are mad at my brother, not me, and my siblings (save the fundamentalist) are over it. But I wanted to share my grandmother’s reaction: She called to tell me that my late grandfather liked to be tied up and spanked, too, and that their marriage (47 years!) was more fun for it. Kink Isn’t New, Kiddo That’s wonderful – and so true! Thanks for sharing. * Nonbinary friend. Contact Dan Savage at mail@savagelove. net or @fakedansavage on Twitter

Some time has passed between your letter arriving and my response appearing in print – so here’s hoping you called your gynecologist back, STD, and got the download and the treatment you needed. Quickly: Chlamydia is a common sexually transmitted infection (STI), men and women are equally at risk, it can be contracted through vaginal, anal or oral intercourse. Your Google search was accurate: Left untreated, chlamydia can cause infertility in women. But you’re not going to leave it untreated, right? Fortunately, chlamydia is easily cured. Unfortunately, most people who have chlamydia aren’t aware they’re infected, as most infected people have no symptoms. That’s why it’s extremely important for all sexually active people – adults and adolescents – to get regular STI screenings. Is your reproductive system already harmed? You’ll have to discuss that with your gynecologist, STD, who is in a far better position than I am to have a look inside you. As for your boyfriend: He needs to get tested and treated too, and if his last STI screening was more than a year ago, it’s possible he infected you and not the other way around. If your boyfriend leaves you over this – if he blames you for something he may be responsible for – then

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[student life]

Half-past Delinquency | Aubrey Adler

When you find love, it’s best to hold onto it

L

ove is a tricky thing. Most people spend their whole lives looking for their perfect match, the one who fully completes them. We can get caught up in someone’s love or lust that they bring to our lives. Sometimes, we can even drop everything and run to please them. I found the love of my life when I was 12 years old, and he was anything but perfect. We aren’t the same in a lot of ways, but we aren’t different, either.

Growing up in the same hometown gave us a unique perspective on life and how it should be lived. Although we had different worlds, somehow we always wanted them to be in sync. All I wanted since the day I met this one stupid boy was for him to notice me. When we were in school together, we called one another every mean name in the book. We’d trip each other in the hallways and pull pranks on one another to get the other’s attention. This started in the seventh grade, and, of course, as time went on, we dated other people and became better friends. Now, our groups of friends were entirely different, and whenever we would get together, one group would always come up with a rumor to help break us up. Either one of us “cheated” on the other, they’d say, or we just “didn’t like the other person anymore.” We were manipulated by our

peers for their own fun and benefit. The good part about all of this is I have no idea where those idiots are today, and I still have the guy who has made me feel special since Day 1 by my side. The one thing this guy and I always had was our friendship. We could – and still can – talk about anything and everything that is on our minds. This man is my best friend. He knows everything about me and he still looks to me like I am the most beautiful person he has ever seen. It took us eight years to figure out that we were meant to love one another the way we do today, and to be quite honest, I do not know how I got so lucky to find someone who cannot get sick of me. This experience of being in love just allows me imagine and dream about almost anything. I believe in miracles, I hope for better days, I wish for a more peaceful future. We all need some kind of love in our

lives. It brings attention well-needed and compassion well-deserved. Every day I hope there is more love spread because I know the peace it brings to the heart and mind. No doubt relationships take hard work, time, money and energy. In the end, when you look back at your life it will be worth it. On your deathbed, you won’t be thinking about how much money you have, how big your house is, how many cars you have or the liquor in your cabinets. You’ll think of the memories you made in your life, how you impacted others’ lives, what kind of a life you made for yourself and how you decided to treat the loved ones around you. Aubrey Adler is a sophomore at Fort Lewis College studying business. A Littleton native, she loves dogs, the outdoors, snowboarding, music, singing, dancing and interacting with new people.

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16 | Thursday, December 3, 2015  ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••


[happenings] Thursday Winter Solstice Artisans’ Market, 10

a.m.-5 p.m., Durango Arts Center Barbara Conrad Gallery, 802 East Second Ave., durangoarts. org. First Thursdays Art Walk, 5-7 p.m., par-

ticipating galleries, http://durangoarts.org.

Claus, 5-8 p.m., Main Mall, 835 Main Ave., local-first.org/programs/noel-night.

programs/noel-night. Lacey Black, plays piano and sings, 6-8

local-first.org/programs/noel-night.

Noel Night: Meet the artist with John Grow Paints: A Window on Durango, 5-8 p.m., A Shared Blanket, 104

p.m., Four Leaves Winery, 528 Main Ave., 4038182.

Noel Night: The Durango Silver Belles and Wild West Variety Show,

Noel Night: Pete Giuliani Band, 6-11 p.m., El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave., localfirst.org/programs/noel-night.

7 p.m., Durango Craft Spirits, 1120 Main Ave., No. 2 local-first.org/programs/noel-night.

East Fifth Ave., local-first.org/programs/noelnight. Noel Night: African Drummers, 5-8

Tim Sullivan, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

p.m., Artesanos, 700 East Second Ave., localfirst.org/programs/noel-night.

Jazz with Lee Bartley and Bob Cordalis, 6:30-9 p.m., Jean Pierre Bakery &

Noel Night: Darryl Kuntz, 5-9 p.m., Toh-

Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave., 247-7700.

Atin Gallery, 145 West Ninth St., local-first.org/ programs/noel-night.

Ace Revel, 7-11 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699

Noel Night: iAm Music, 5 p.m., Durango

Main Ave., 247-4431. Cary Morin, blues guitar, 7 p.m., Crash

Music, 104 N. Main Ave., Aztec, crahsmusicaztec.com. Beer bingo, 8 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main Ave.,

259-9018. Karaoke with DJ Crazy Charlie, 9 p.m.,

Wild Horse Saloon, 601 East Second Ave., 3752568. Karaoke, 9 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509

East Eighth Ave., 259-8801.

Friday Winter Solstice Artisans’ Market, 10

a.m.-5 p.m., Durango Arts Center Barbara Conrad Gallery, 802 East Second Ave., durangoarts. org. Noel Night: Fundraiser for local nonprofits, a percentage of purchases goes

to one of three nonprofits of choice, 10 a.m., Surya Health and Wellness, 1032 Main Ave., local-first.org/programs/noel-night. Noel Night: White Out Earth Girls Musical Chairs, 2 p.m., Steaming Bean,

915 Main Ave., local-first.org/programs/noelnight. Noel Night: Localist Rendezvous, 4

p.m., El Moro Tavern, 945 Main Ave., local-first. org/programs/noel-night. Noel Night: White Out Earth Girls Trivia game, 4 p.m., Steaming Bean, 915

Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., local-first. org/programs/noel-night. Noel Night: Jeff Solon and Ely Rio,

5-8 p.m., Karyn Gabaldon Arts, 680 Main Ave., local-first.org/programs/noel-night. Noel Night: Mataholla Moon Belly Dancers, 5 p.m., Main Mall, 835 Main Ave.,

local-first.org/programs/noel-night. Noel Night: Patrick Crossing Celtic Band, 5 p.m., Urban Market Home, 110 East

Fifth St., local-first.org/programs/noel-night. Noel Night: Still Water Foundation,

5-8 p.m., Open Shutter Gallery, 735 Main Ave., local-first.org/programs/noel-night. Noel Night: Westwind Pipes and Drums, 5 p.m., 2nd Avenue Sports, 640 East

Second Ave., local-first.org/programs/noelnight.

5:45 p.m., 2nd Avenue Sports, 640 East Second Ave., local-first.org/programs/noel-night. Noel Night: Durango Barbershoppers, 6 p.m., Urban Market Home, 110 East

Fifth St., local-first.org/programs/noel-night. Noel Night: Durango Dance Tap Ensemble & Durango Youth Ballet, 6-7

Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave., 247-7700.

259-9018.

Jack Ellis, 7-11 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Noel Night: Iron Horse Bicycle Classic registration event, 11 a.m.-9 p.m.,

Noel Night:Visit with the Durango Silver Belles, 7 p.m., Durango Craft Spirits,

Mountain Bike Specialists, 949 Main Ave., localfirst.org/programs/noel-night.

1120 Main Ave., No. 2, local-first.org/programs/noel-night.

Saturday

Noel Night: Jack Ellis, 7 p.m., The Office

Winter Solstice Artisans’ Market, 10

Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., local-first.org/programs/noel-night. Noel Night: Mataholla Moon Belly Dancers, 7 p.m., Cream Bean Berry, 1021

Main Ave., local-first.org/programs/noelnight. Noel Night: Patrick Crossing Celtic

a.m.-5 p.m., Durango Arts Center Barbara Conrad Gallery, 802 East Second Ave., durangoarts. org. Musician’s Marketplace & Jam, noon-

6 p.m., Crash Music, 104 N Main Ave., Aztec, (505) 427-6748. Continued on Page 18

Videos featuring the 4Corners best events, favorite eats and fun outdoor adventures!

p.m., Durango Dance, 1120 Main Ave., No. 1, local-first.org/programs/noel-night.

Noel Night: Free gift wrapping, 5-9

Noel Night: Makhbeth and Friends,

Noel Night: Meet Mr. and Mrs. Santa

East Eighth Ave., 259-8801.

Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Noel Night: Paul Dvirnak and Richard White, 6 p.m., Wells Group, 901 Main

BREW Pub & Kitchen, 117 W. College Drive, local-first.org/programs/noel-night.

DJ Kaztro, 9 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main Ave.,

Cannon Dolls, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle

ried photography competition, 5-8 p.m., Open Shutter Gallery, 735 Main Ave., local-first.org/ programs/noel-night.

Noel Night: Lost Souls Theatre, 5 p.m.,

Jazz with Lee Bartley and Bob Cordalis, 6:30-9 p.m., Jean-Pierre Bakery &

Noel Night: Women’s Perogative,

Noel Night: Classical Guitar Kids,

p.m., Wells Group, 901 Main Ave., local-first. org/programs/noel-night. Noel Night: Durango book signing with author Susan Dalton, 5-8 p.m., Durango Welcome Center, 802 Main Ave., local-first.org/programs/noel-night.

Karaoke, 8 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509

5:30 p.m., Sorrel Sky, 828 Main Ave., local-first. org/programs/noel-night.

local-first.org/programs/noel-night.

Noel Night: Exposure, international ju-

p.m., A Shared Blanket, 104 East Fifth Ave., local-first.org/programs/noel-night.

Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., localfirst.org/programs/noel-night.

Local Artist’s Holiday Trunk Show,

Durango Craft Spirits, 1120 Main Ave., No. 2, local-first.org/programs/noel-night.

915 Main Ave., local-first.org/programs/noelnight.

Noel Night: Cannon Dolls, 5:30 p.m.,

4-8 p.m., Seed Studio of the Smiley Building, 1309 East Third Ave.

Noel Night: Distillery tours, 5-9 p.m.,

Noel Night: Lost Souls Theatre, 6:30

Noel Night: White Out Earth Girls Costume Contest, 8 p.m., Steaming Bean,

145 E. College Drive., local-first.org/programs/ noel-night.

Main Ave., local-first.org/programs/noel-night.

El Rancho, 975 Main Ave., local-first.org/programs/noel-night.

p.m., Steaming Bean, 915 Main Ave., local-first. org/programs/noel-night.

Noel Night: Women’s Perogative,

7:30 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., local-first.org/programs/noel-night.

Noel Night:Vivace Mandolin Ensemble, 5:15-6:30 p.m., Lemonhead Hair Saloon,

Noel Night: Durango Barbershoppers, 5:30 p.m., Main Mall, 835 Main Ave.,

Noel Night: Durango Swim Club Family Friendly Fundraiser, 5 p.m.,

Noel Night: White Out Earth Girls Giant Snowflake Making Contest, 6

Band, 7 p.m., Scenic Aperture, 708 Main Ave.,

Ave., local-first.org/programs/noel-night. 6-8 p.m., Durango Coffee Co., 730 Main Ave., local-first.org/programs/noel-night. Noel Night: Mataholla Moon Belly Dancers, 6 p.m., Artesanos, 700 East Second

Ave., local-first.org/programs/noel-night. Noel Night: The Durango Silver Belles & Wild West Variety Show, 6

p.m.; Women’s Prerogative, 6:30 p.m.; Classic Guitar Kids, 7 p.m.; Lost Souls Theatre, 7:30 p.m., Main Mall, 835 Main Ave., local-first.org/

To learn more about our shows or how to get involved, please contact info@4cornerstv.com.

�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������   Thursday, December 3, 2015 | 17


[happenings] From Page 17

“Unleash Your Muse,” mixed-media

Robbie Overfield, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond

workshop with Barb Horn, 6-7:30 p.m., $50/$40, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., durangoarts.org.

Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431. Kirk James, blues, 6 p.m., Seven Rivers

Steakhouse, Sky Ute Casino, 14324 Colorado Highway 172, Ignacio. Greg Ryder, 7-11 p.m., Office Spiritorium,

Jack Ellis, 7-11 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Tuesday

699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Winter Solstice Artisans’ Market, 10

Karaoke, 8 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509

a.m.-5 p.m., Durango Arts Center Barbara Conrad Gallery, 802 East Second Ave., durangoarts. org.

East Eighth Ave., 259-8801. Black Velvet Trio, 8 p.m.-midnight, De-

railed Pour House, 725 Main Ave., 247-5440. First Saturdays event featuring DJ Incite and Merv, 8 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main

Terry Rickard, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431. Super Ted’s Super Trivia, 6:12 p.m., free,

Ave., 259-9018.

Ska Brewing Co., 225 Girard St., 247-5792.

Sunday

Tim Sullivan, 7-11 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Holiday Gala Fundraiser, silent-auction

Open Mic Night, 8 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main

benefit for the Durango Children’s Chorale, noon-5:30 p.m., Jones Hall at Fort Lewis College. Irish music jam session, 12:30 p.m.,

Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200, www.theirishembassypub.com. “A Traditional Family Christmas” concert, 3 p.m., $20/$18/$5, Community

Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College, durangoconcerts.com, 247-7657. Jazz church (experienced musician drop-in session), 6 p.m., Derailed Pour

House, 725 Main Ave., 247-5440, www.derailedpourhouse.com. Bluemoon Ramblers, 7-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Ave., 259-9018.

Wednesday Winter Solstice Artisans’ Market, 10

a.m.-5 p.m., Durango Arts Center Barbara Conrad Gallery, 802 East Second Ave., durangoarts. org. Greg Ryder, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle

Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431. Open studio figure drawing, facili-

tated Ed Bolster, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., www.durangoarts.org. Two-step and swing dance lessons,

Joel Racheff, 7-11 p.m., Office Spiritorium,

6:30-7:30 p.m., $10, Wild Horse Saloon, 601 East Second Ave., 799-8832.

699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Geeks Who Drink trivia, 6:30 p.m.,

Live acoustic music, 7 p.m., Moe’s, 937

BREW Pub & Kitchen, 117 W. College Drive, 259-5959.

Main Ave., 259-9018. Karaoke, 8 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509

East Eighth Ave., 259-8801. Latin music night, 8 p.m., Moe’s, 937

Main Ave., 259-9018.

Pub quiz, 6:30 p.m., Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200. Terry Rickard, 7-11 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431. Poker and ping pong tournaments,

Monday

8 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main Ave., 259-9018.

Four Corners Arts Forum, 9 a.m., KDUR

91.9/93.9 FM, www.kdur.org. Happy Hour Yoga, 5:30-6:30 p.m., Ska

Karaoke with DJ Crazy Charlie, 9 p.m.,

Wild Horse Saloon, 601 East Second Ave., 3752568.

Brewing Co., 225 Girard St., yoga and a pint of beer for $10, www.skabrewing.com.

Ongoing

Joel Racheff, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

“RARE II: Imperiled Plants of Colorado,” Center of Southwest Studies Museum

BE

Wikipedia

»»  Instead of pouring booze down the drain, El Moro Spirits and Tavaern will be pouring down our gullets.

Channel your inner flapper/gangster at death to prohibition party Imagine Durango without micro brews, craft cocktails or even a bottle of wine. Now sit down and take a breath. It’s not real. Prohibition ended Dec. 5, 1933, and El Moro Sprits and Tavern is inviting everyone to celebrate.

every year on Dec. 5.

“Let’s celebrate the reason we are here!” said Dave Woodruff, general manager at El Moro. “Without the end of prohibition, none of us in the bar business would be here.”

El Moro plans to follow suit with its very own coffin cake, some champagne and a performance from Miss Goodie’s Can Can Review. Weather permitting, there may even be some protesting out front.

He got the idea for the celebration about a year ago from the documentary “Hey Bartender.” Woodruff explained that the film is “basically about how the craft cocktail movement came around.” Part of the film features a bar in New York City, Employees Only, that throws a Death of Prohibition party

Woodruff said that many bars have celebrations like this, some going all out with singers, dancers, flappers and even a coffin-shaped cake. This is one funeral where it’s OK to get a little buzzed.

There is no cover, and Woodruff said period attire is most definitely welcome. So don’t be alarmed on Saturday night if flappers and gangsters are mingling outside of El Moro. — Sara Knight

Bobby Estes Designer Jeweler

“The Up and Down of It” work by Becca Conrad-Whitehead, through

“Colorado Childhood,” solo exhibit by artist Barbara Klema, through Dec. 24, Durango Arts Center Art Library, 802 East Second Ave., www.durangoarts.org.

Dec. 18, Smiley Building, 1309 East Third Ave., beccaconradwhitehead.artspan.com.

Submissions

Loose Diamonds ~ Custom Jewelry ~ Repairs

Graduating Senior Art & Design Majors Exhibition, through Dec. 18, Fort

970-422-8181 • 970-759-8939 • By Appointment Only ebjrdurangoco@gmail.com

at Fort Lewis College, 1-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, 1-7 p.m. Thursday, swcenter.fortlewis.edu.

Lewis College Art Gallery.Fort Lewis College Art Gallery, fortlewis.edu/art-design/ArtGallery.aspx. Tayler Hahn art exhibit, through Thurs-

day, Raider Ridge Cafe, 509 East Eighth Ave.

To submit listings for publication in DGO and dgomag. com, go to www.swscene.com and click “Add Your Event,” fill out the form with all your event info and submit. Listings at swscene.com will appear both at dgomag.com and in our weekly print edition. Posting events at swscene. com is free and takes about one business day to process.

18 | Thursday, December 3, 2015  ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••


Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19)

and love affairs also flourish now. It’s time for fun!

Do what you can to expand your horizons because you’re keen to travel and learn something new. Reach out and grab more of life!

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) This is the perfect time to wrap up details with inheritances, insurance matters, taxes, debt and anything related to shared property. You can run, but you can’t hide. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) With the Sun opposite your sign now, you need more sleep because the Sun is your source of energy. And right now, it is as far away from you as it gets all year. CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Do whatever you can to feel that you’re on top of your scene. You want to be efficient, productive and better organized. (And hey, you’ve got a lot of stuff.) LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22)

Bizarro

Make time to play and enjoy artistic events, social occasions, sports and playful times with children. Romance

Home, family and your private life will continue to be your primary focus for the next few weeks. Discussions with a parent could be significant. LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) The pace of your days will accelerate in the next few weeks. This is a strong time for those of you who sell, write, edit, teach or act. SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) This month, you’re thinking a lot about your values. You’re also thinking more about cash flow, earnings, your possessions and your assets. It’s report card time. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) The Sun, Mercury and Saturn are all in your sign, which makes you powerful. Not only are you setting off on a new journey, you attract people and resources to you. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) Work alone or behind the scenes this month because

you need to withdraw from the busyness of your world. Nevertheless, your ambition is still strong. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18) Enjoy your increased popularity. Young people in particular will want to hang out with you. Make travel plans and interact with people from different cultures. PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) People in authority see you in a positive light now. Use this to your best advantage. Choose the next few weeks to make your pitch and go after what you want. BORN TODAY You are a creative person who plans carefully. Many of you have technical talents, which make you a perfectionist. You value your privacy. This year, you have something important to learn. It might not be apparent in the first half of the year, but soon your efforts of the past six years will manifest results! Enjoy the outdoors more. © 2015 King Features Syndicate Inc.

[the wisdom of bill murray]

It’s hard to be an artist. It’s hard to be anything. It’s hard to be.

I made a lot of mistakes and realized I had to let them go. Don’t think about your errors or failures, otherwise you’ll never do a thing.

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