2011 Durango Living Spring Edition by Ballantine Communications

INSIDE You’re going to LOVE it Publisher Richard Ballantine General Manager Sharon Hermes Marketing Manager Dennis Hanson Advertising Sales Manager Dominick McCullough Design Manager Brady Sutherlin

4 A bike-wedding mystery

Magazine Editor/Designer & Fashion Stylist Karla Sluis Photographer Hal Lott Photography Assistant Marie Archuleta Advertising Design/Prepress Mitchell Carter Georgia Davenport Jennifer Dickens Laney Peterson Jeri Trausch Michelle Uhl Tracy Willbanks

Account Executives Darryl Hunt Karolann Latimer Shawna Long Larissa Lopez Rob Lillard Corrin Oxnam

On the cover:

Ian Altman and Irene Mercer, a real Durango couple who were married March 19, model wedding clothing for Durango Living’s fashion pages. Photo by Hal Lott The Durango Herald uses reasonable effort to include accurate and up-to-date information for its special magazine publications. However, all general information comes from a variety of sources and may change at any time for any reason. To verify specific information, refer to the organization or business noted. To see the online version of this guide, click the link at: www.durangoherald.com.

Durango’s athletic couples

Local mom & pop shops

Match made in cyberspace

16 Texting and teenagers

Reaching out with playdates

Locals’ unique weddings

Destination weddings

Wedding & prom fashions

Meet the models

Art & science of love

Student excerpts on love

Lisa Blue on songwriting

Tech-free family rooms

Men crave man caves

When good dogs go bad

Match your mutt

Couple’s culinary clash

The perfect wooing dinner

Best Hot-Date Contest

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 3

“Love, DurangoStyle” is by local artist Pat Howard, who painted the real scene from a snapshot she took on Aug. 28, 2010, on Main Avenue.

Art, romance, and a mystery – still unsolved

c e d

f c

a c

o s h t

Are you in this painting? Do you know the bride and groom? Read on to connect the artist with her subjects. By Karla Sluis Durango Living Editor

funny thing happened outside Sorrel Sky Gallery last summer. Durango artist Pat Howard was doing a painting demonstration on Aug. 28 when a parade of bikes went by along Main Avenue, with girls wearing dresses and guys in shirts and ties. The gallery group ran outside to see what was going on. It was a wedding procession, with a bride and groom leading the way on a bicycle built for two. Howard said she thought they missed the action, but “lucky for us,” she said, they turned around and the whole procession came back the other way. She had enough time to snap some pictures, which she combined for her painting shown above,

–

Image courtesy of Sorrel Sky Gallery

“Love, Durango-Style.” “It seemed like such a spontaneous celebration after the wedding,” said Howard. “I’m sure it had been planned, but it didn’t seem overly staged. In fact, it looked as if everyone who attended the wedding – not just the wedding party – grabbed the nearest bike or scooter and joined the fun.” Howard said she didn’t have any information on any of the people in the painting, except for Claude Steelman, the man who is standing in the background on the opposite sidewalk. The identities of the bride and groom and their joyful wedding party are still a delicious mystery. Casey Eberle, owner of Sahaira’s Salon in Durango, had a bike procession down Main following her wedding in midAugust, but she is not the bride, she said. “It’s really hard to tell who the other

4 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

riders are, although I was having fun guessing who they might have been in our wedding party. I wish it were us! That would be super cool!” she said via e-mail. Durango Mayor Michael Rendon said he is not the man in the brown hat to the right of the man on the scooter. “Though I admit that the guy with the beard and cowboy hat is strikingly handsome, it is not me,” he wrote. “But this is by far the funnest e-mail I received today.” Howard said she was charmed and inspired by the scene on Aug. 28. “They were all having a blast – so young and happy and energetic,” she said. “It made us all smile and say, “Only in Durango!” – which is where the title of the painting came from.” Do you know the mystery couple? E-mail karla@durangoherald.com.

Love, Durango-Style

pring is the perfect time to think about love. The dull browns of the landscape transform into vibrant greens, like the first flowers – snowdrops – shown below. There’s a romantic flair in the air. Relationships of all kinds are celebrated here in our small, close-knit town. In this spring edition of Durango Living, we explore the bonds between couples, families, teenagers – even dogs and their doting “parents.” DL writer Malia Durbano, who interviewed several couples for this magazine, said she was surprised and touched by the connection between longtime partners. “It gave me a sense of hope to see the love and respect they had in their eyes when they looked at each other,” she said. Even conflicts between couples can be managed with love and humor: Read nutritionist Jess Kelley’s funny story about compromising with her husband – a junk-food junkie. As of Monday (March 20 was the vernal equinox), winter is officially over. As you soak in the sun, let these Durango love stories warm your heart. As Mother Teresa once said, “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” Read on, and remember. – Karla Sluis, Durango Living Editor

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 5

PEOPLE

Playtogether, staytogether Michael and Jana Freeburn camp at Vestal Lake near Wham Ridge in the Weminuche Wilderness in August on a backpacking trip.

Durango is Michael & Jana Freeburn: pros share passions with their children home to many Retired By Malia Durbano off and go for a bike ride together and talk for an hour, and know the kids are fine at home by themselves. sporty couples. ichael and Jana Freeburn have “We have wonderful, supportive neighboth had successful careers as bors, too,” said Michael. world-class athletes. Now they But when they were competing, they were Meet a few enjoy sharing the love of athleticism and really competing. Although not directly racadventures with their children. ing against one another, because Mike was Their daughter, Katja, 11, and son, Cobe, 9, in the men’s division and Jana in the womathletic pairs outdoor both ski and ride bikes. For summer vacaen’s, they were still on the same course and tions, they usually take their bikes and kaywould compare times. who feel that aks and go camping. In Jackson, Wyoming, they both competed “Sharing this as a family adds a wonderin an Adventure Race, called the Pole, Peddimension,” said Mike. “Our lives al, Paddle – Alpine & Nordic Skiing, Bikblood-pumping fularen’tnewstructured around intense competiing and Kayaking multi-sport race. In 1991, tion anymore. We’re past that. Sports really he won the men’s division and she won the are our passion, and to share these experiMike won 10 years in a row, from outdoor activities ences together is rewarding and fulfilling. women’s. 1990 to 1999. In 2006, they each took secOur mountain bike ride through Canada as ond in their division, “because we missed a family was a bonding experience.” start,” and Mike won again in 2007 for make the heart When the kids were younger, the couple our a total of 14 times. Jana holds the record as to trade off, and couldn’t always do the woman who has won seven times – the things together. Now that the kids are older, most times ever in the history of the race. grow stronger – had all four of them head outdoors. They like They met in Prague, when they were each mountain biking at Overend Mountain Park competing in the World Cup Kayak Race. and fonder. and Horse Gulch. Or, the couple can take Jana was competing on the CzechoslovaDurango Living Writer

6 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

kia tio wa tio wa tw the the ca T bo “ can po als ne Ja un “ to, Ja gra aro kid as so lik “ in

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Photo courtesy of Michael Freeburn

kian team, and Mike was on the U.S. National Team. Jana has been racing since she was 12, and was on the U.S. Women’s National Slalom Team from 1993 to 1997. She was also an alternate to the Olympic Team twice, once on the Czech team and once on the U.S. team. They have trophies on top of their hutch commemorating their successful careers in world-class competitions. Through sports, they’ve learned that they both have intense determination. “We’re determined to be the best parents we can possibly be and to give our kids lots of opportunities to do sports,” said Michael. “We also both have lots of perseverance, which you need to be successful in any sport.” Jana says they both know how to work under pressure. “We know we can perform when we have to,” she said. “This also translates to our jobs.” Jana is self-employed as a computer programmer, and she can fit in working out around her work schedule and caring for the kids. Mike’s responsibilities have increased as vice principal at Durango High School, so he doesn’t have the time to train or travel like he used to. “I just do less of it,” he said. “Fitting things in is just harder. But it’s all good.”

‘‘ ’’

Our lives aren’t structured around intense competition anymore. We’re past that.

Jana Freeburn

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 7

PEOPLE

Rob & Stephanie Trudeaux

Staying active keeps them connected By Malia Durbano Durango Living Writer

Photo courtesy of Andy Corra

Janet Wiley and Andy Corra group-hug with son Wiley, 8, on a ski day.

Janet Wiley & Andy Corra:

They plan vacations around sports By Malia Durbano Durango Living Writer

ndy Corra and Janet Wiley met while kayaking with a group in the Salt River in Arizona. As an experienced kayaker, Andy was the last boat in the chain, following up in case someone needed help. Janet got stuck in a hole and swam. Andy came to her rescue. They’ve been together for 20 years. Along with their 8-year-old son, Wiley, they enjoy: skiing – both Nordic and Alpine – kayaking, whitewater rafting and mountain biking. Family vacations are always planned around sports and outdoor recreation. “Sports are just our lifestyle,” said Andy. “Our weekends are spent skiing, biking or getting on the river.” “We just drag Wiley with us,” said Janet. “Now that he’s getting older, he can do more and more with us.” One of the only downsides to participating in all these activities is that they don’t always get to do them together because of different levels of fitness. Janet can’t keep up with Andy in mountain biking, and she wouldn’t want him to have to wait for her. She prefers Wiley’s pace. “The only other downside is that the car doesn’t fit in the garage, because it’s all full of gear,” said Janet. Over the years, Janet has learned that exercise is part of Andy’s happiness. “He has to exercise six days a week to have a happy outlook,” she said. “I could be more of a workaholic,” Andy said. “Exercise is my drug of choice.” Janet’s toughness in various situations has impressed Andy. They once skied 11 hours to a hut near Crested Butte. By the time they got there it was dark, with such a severe blizzard that they couldn’t find the hut. So, they skied another 11 hours back out. Janet did not complain once. “There wasn’t any choice,” she said. They laugh and say these are their typical vacations. Some of their memorable adventures include kayaking the length of Chile for three weeks and biking across Europe for six weeks. Once in a while, they do things alone. For instance, Andy is now the Official Guinness World Record Holder for kayaking 273 miles in 24 hours down the Yukon River in Yukon, Calif. They are both self-employed: Andy owns Four Corners River Sports and Janet owns Janet Wiley Architects, so they have some flexibility in their schedules. If they can get a permit to run a river, they just go.

8 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

ob and Stephanie Trudeaux learned an important thing about each other during their honeymoon. While kayaking off the Na Pali Coast of Kauai, Hawaii, Stephanie realized that Rob was a bigger risk taker than she realized. They laugh about it now, but Stephanie was a little stressed as they headed to shore and ended up riding a big wave by accident. Rob was thrilled. Stephanie likes to be more in control than she was as a passenger in the kayak. “He will push me to do things I wouldn’t normally do, which is where the tension comes in; but it’s good, because it takes me out of my comfort zone,” said Stephanie. Over the following years, Stephanie also learned that Rob is “amazingly patient. He’s good in intense situations; he remains calm and does well under pressure. He’s really dependable, and waits for me when I need him to.” Rob is an owner and professional land surveyor at Goff Engineering. Stephanie is a school counselor at Park Elementary. “It’s really important for Stephanie to be active and get exercise, or she gets a little grouchy,” said Rob, and they both laugh. Stephanie grew up in an active family, and has been running track since she was in the fourth grade. She had a running injury, and had to find a new sport. That’s when she started biking. Now, they both bike, hike, run, skate-ski, backcountry ski and backpack more than they kayak. They both ride with the Durango Wheel Club and have done the Iron Horse Bicycle Classic race together. “Just being active and outside together provides positive time together,” said Stephanie. “Being active is a priority, and keeps me happy. It brings us closer together as a couple when we do these adventures together. It’s a good thing for our relationship.” Rob said they do sports together probably 85 to 90 percent of the time. Most of their vacations also revolve around outdoor activities. They go on road rides to Moab, and socializing with friends revolves around athletic endeavors. Stephanie said she likes it when they are active as a couple. “It gives you an experience together, like dealing with the weather. When you get put in a place where you’re vulnerable, it connects you. “We work well together: I’m more intense, and Rob is more mellow. ” Rob and Stephanie Trudeaux take a break from skiing outside of Ridgway on the way to Burn Hut in February of 2009. Photo courtesy of Stephanie Trudeaux

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 9

PEOPLE

Bob and Kay McLaughlin of Dietz Market laugh as they organize kitchen linens at the store in February.

Mom & Pop B shops

HAL LOTT/Herald

Bob & Kay McLaughlin Dietz Market owners say they ‘have a lot of patience’ By Malia Durbano Durango Living Writer

It’s not easy to run a business together. Four local couples make it work by respecting each other’s strengths.

ob McLaughlin grew up working in the family business with his father and three brothers. He swore he’d never do it again. His father owned Garavan Produce, and he sold fruit and vegetables to the restaurants and grocery stores in the area. He met Kay while selling produce to the Strater Hotel, where she worked at the front desk. They dated for about three years before she started Dietz Market. They each handle separate functions of the business. Kay orders the merchandise and works with employees and in the store. Bob unloads the trucks, works on the displays and “does the manual labor.” Since most of the employees are women, Bob gets a “honey-do” list from each of them. They try not to talk about the business all the time, and will ask each other, “Do you want to talk about this now?” For years, their focus besides the business

10 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

was raising their family. They have two children: Ann, 22, and Will, 19. “We’re both pretty easy-going, and we don’t talk decisions to death,” said Kay. “We just work through things. It’s not worth getting really upset.” “You have to pick your battles,” said Bob. “If she really feels strongly about something, I just say, ‘Go for it.’” Kay said it helps that they both have a lot of patience. Bob thinks it helped that they were together for three or four years before they started working together. “You have to have personalities that work well together, or you better not be in the same business. You can’t blame each other for anything that doesn’t work out perfectly. It’s all good, although it’s not always easy. Retail can be tough. We’ve learned to ride the ups and downs.” Kay knows that Bob is there to support her with comments such as, “We’ll get through the slow season.” Bob likes the fact that when Kay is out of town, he “gets to be the boss.”

Carolyn Lamb & Paul Gelose They ‘eat, live, breathe’ lucky nuts By Malia Durbano Durango Living Writer

ho is Ricky, anyway? Ricky was a chef at The Palace Restaurant, and he used to make bar snacks for the restaurant when he came up with a recipe for fabulous nuts. The first time Paul, owner of the restaurant, tasted the nuts, he coined the tag line, “A nut like no other.” He came up with the name of the company as a joke – and they both stuck. A new business was born. Paul was the inspiration for the company, but his wife Carolyn is the one who took it from initial vision to reality. She had the drive to formulate it into what it is today. Responsible for packaging and marketing, Carolyn has taken the company to a whole new level from where they started in 2006. “The first few years it was all murky water,” said Carolyn. “It’s slowly evolved into a division of duties.” Paul focuses on the product research and development, dayto-day operations, book keeping and account management. After they defined their separate roles, it became much more fluid. They don’t see themselves as business partners with a separate personal life. “It’s all blurred, and it all becomes one,” said Paul. “We talk about business first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. It’s not a job – it’s our life. You eat, live and breathe it.” They have a daughter, Allegra, who is 16 months old. If there is a downside to this, Carolyn said, “it’s that we don’t take time for ourselves to do things as a couple, except on special occasions. With the baby and the work, we don’t go out on dates.” After working together all day, they sometimes do their own thing in the evenings. Carolyn goes out to exercise and gets together with girlfriends, and Paul plays hockey. A vision for their company unites them as a couple. “The biggest challenge I see in working together is that we both face the same risk,” said Carolyn. “Neither one of us has a stable career. I like having a common bond and goal, and I like knowing what my husband does for a living.” Paul agrees: “I like the challenge of working together. It’s good because we started it together, and everything is 50-50.” “If one person is stressed over work, the other understands, can be supportive and can put it in context,” said Carolyn.

Photo courtesy of Paul Gelose

Carolyn Lamb and Paul Gelose show Ricky’s Lucky Nuts products.

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 11

PEOPLE

Bob and Eileen Baumgart of Image Counts Gallery work together to pick mats and frames for artwork.

HAL LOTT/Herald photo

Eileen and Bob Baumgart: Gallery owners maintain rules – and flexibility By Malia Durbano Durango Living Writer

im Baumgart was an electrical engineer, but his true love was taking photos. Eileen, his wife, was an administrative assistant for a large group of engineers. They loved coming to the Southwest to take photos, and soon decided they were tired of the rat race in Silicon Valley, Calif. They decided to pursue their passion, go into business together and to move to Durango. They have owned Image Counts Gallery for 10 years. The couple had a lot to learn about running this kind of business, and the division of duties took some trial and error. Eventually, they each gravitated to what they do best. Since Jim is better with his hands, he does the framing and “hides out in the back.” Eileen works with customers, designs the frames and does the accounting. The division of duties is pretty clear, and they both can both do each other’s jobs

when necessary. “The challenge of working together – is working together,” said Eileen. “Because it’s easy to take it all home, we set rules. When we leave the business, it stays there.” “We try to consciously separate the business from the relationship, but it doesn’t always work,” said Jim. “We both worked for couples who were married, and we saw them screaming at each other. We swore we would never be like that.” Working together has taught them a lot about each other. “At our age, we have our own idiosyncrasies and are rigid in our ways of doing things,” said Jim. “Working together requires flexibility and respecting each other’s ideas. I realized she does a good job, so I backed off. It’s not the way I would do it, but the customers like it.” Eileen still asks for his opinion sometimes. “We each get focused on what we’re doing, so outside eyes can be helpful.” They say that it’s not usually difficult to

12 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

be together so much, but once in a while, Jim will go away for a few days on a photo shoot, or Eileen will go see her mother. Eileen smiles and says, “Fortunately, the house is big enough so he can go to one end and I stay in the other.” “We work well together,” said Jim. “It’s fun to go on photo shoots together. We’ll be in the same place and each come away with different shots based on our different perspectives. We like working together because we know each other well. It’s better than working with a stranger and having to train them. As the owners, we always do our best because it’s our life.” Eileen said since they are in an artistic business and they don’t have children, their profession and lifestyle is relaxed. “There are no real steadfast rules in designing frames. It’s an aesthetic thing and a personal taste. We’ve built up trust with our regular clients over the 10 years we’ve been here, and it’s really nice. They trust us to know what they like and to do it.”

Danny & Sheree Culhane

Honeyville owners have niches By Malia Durbano Durango Living Writer

hen Sheree first met Danny in 1974, she was scared of bees. She wouldn’t even get out of the car because they were flying all around the honey house. Danny Culhane and his father had been in the honey business for many years before their company, Mountain Bouquet Honey, merged with Honeyville in 1986. The couple married in 1975, and Sheree is no longer afraid of bees. They have been working side by side for 35 years. To successfully work with your spouse, Danny said, “it’s important that we both found our niche, and that you stay out of the other person’s niche. You have to complement one another.” They have gravitated toward distinct roles within the organization. Danny organizes all of the honey, contacts the beekeepers, manages the pricing and helps on the bottling line. Sheree designs the catalog, does label and product research and design, product development and marketing. She comes up with new flavors, and Danny and their son, Kevin, work on perfecting the recipes. The Culhanes try to separate work from their personal lives, but inevitably the conversation ends up back on the business. They have common interests: Sheree teaches Jazzercise, and Danny enjoys going to the gym. The company sponsors a softball team, and all three of them play during the summer. “One of the benefits of working together is that we know each other’s schedules, so it’s easier to plan for time off,” said Danny. “It’s total teamwork,” said Sheree. “We can’t fire each other.” Disagreements are handled in a very diplomatic manner. “Since neither one of us is a “yes” person, we hear each other’s pros and cons and discuss them,” said Sheree. “We don’t back off from our initial positions, but respect each other enough to listen to the other’s position.” “Through the years, we’ve just learned to take the good with the not so good,” said Sheree.

HAL LOTT/Herald

Honeyville owners Sheree & Danny Culhane inspect and package products at the plant in February.

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 13

PEOPLE

Match

made in cyberspace

Durango couple describes how they met and fell in love through online dating By Malia Durbano Durango Living Writer

ydney Cooley, an acupuncturist at Signature Salon and Health Spa, admits she was a little leery about meeting a stranger based on a profile from an Internet dating site. “What if you like someone, and they don’t like you? Would it be awkward at the end of the night? I don’t want to be uncomfortable or to hurt anyone’s feelings,” she said. “Meeting online is different from meeting someone at a party, through friends or any other avenue,” said Sydney. “When you’re in someone’s presence, you can get a better idea of who they are. It’s different from looking at a photo and reading some words. People can say anything in their profile. You don’t get a complete understanding of who they are until you meet in person.” Because her classmate had just met the HAL LOTT/Herald “love of her life,” Sydney decided to try an Brad Kachnowicz and Sydney Cooley relax at home. online dating site. Recently divorced, she Since Sydney had recently moved, her After that first breakfast, they both knew. thought it would be a good way to meet someone. Her friend had been lucky on profile still said she lived in St. Petersburg, They’ve been together ever since – for Match.com, so she chose that site out of Fla. She really lived in the smaller, subur- eight years. A few months after meeting, they were all the services available. She got on, and ban beach community of Gulf Port. His profile said he lived in Gulf Port. His walking their dogs. Brad said, “You know, within two weeks, she met Brad. He was e-mail said, “I’m a really slow typer. We we should be hiking in the mountains toher one and only date. Brad Kachnowicz had been on Match. could die of old age before we meet, so gether right now. I’ve always wanted to please call me.” live in Boulder or Durango.” com for about a year. Although she was hesitant, she said she Sydney had been living in Florida for few “It was free, so I just did it,” he said. Every day, Match.com sends members thought, “We’ve seen each other’s photos. years and was getting tired of the heat and five potential matches based on each We’ll be walking our dogs and run into humidity. She was “blown away,” because she felt the same way, but they hadn’t talkof their profiles. Sydney came up on each other, so I better call him.” She did. Sydney beams. ed about it. They’ve lived here since NoBrad’s list. “We really connected. The first phone vember of 2005. Usually, he’d They both agree that being able to learn breeze through call lasted two hours. We agreed to meet for breakfast at a little local coffee shop.” about the person through their profile these and delete It just kept getting better. “We really had a helped to cut down on the anxiety of initial most of them. “Her photo just lot in common. I invited him to my yoga questioning and getting to know someone. “It allowed us to know more about each really attracted me,” class, my meditation group and, since I was in school studying Chinese medicine, other before we met in person,” said Sydhe said. “We both had our dogs in our photos, I invited him to come have an acupuncture ney. “I learned about shared interests earlier, and it gave us a more common ground.” so that was a big plus.” Syd- treatment, and he said yes to all three!” Sydney said this was wonderful, because Sydney has advice for anyone thinking of ney’s black lab, Cassie, and the man she had been dating previously trying online dating: “Go in knowing what Brad’s Siberian husky, Rakind of person you want to attract and be ven, are priorities in both wasn’t into any of those things. “Agreeing to all three of those requests, I knew specific about who you are. Be honest in their lives. Brad sent her an Brad was the one; plus, he made me laugh.” your profile and have no expectations.” e-mail. 14 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

FAMILY

Does texting make teens

:) or :( ? Communicating is easier, but meaning less clear By Kate McElwain Special to Durango Living

ith texting as a major form of communication for teenagers these days, it’s important to take a step back and notice how it affects our relationships, especially romantic relationships. As with all things – it has its advantages, and it has its disadvantages. DHS senior Hannah Davies said, “Texting is nice to just ask a quick question or just send a nice comment to someone. And at times it can be convenient when it is not an appropriate time to talk on the phone.” Communication over texts is obviously very different from any type of face-toface interaction. While speaking to someone in person, body language and facial expressions are constantly in use. On the other hand, over texting, punctuation and word choice are used instead, and the meaning of it all is up to the interpreter. DHS senior Katy Bowlby said, “Flirting is easier over texting. You just type the words and put a smiley face and the other person puts whatever tone to it that they want.” Expressions that are normally seen in person can now be typed into a text with things sometimes referred to as “emoticons.” Emoticons are sets of punctuation that portray different facial expressions: smiley face, sad face, winking face, scared face, surprised face, etc. (see examples, Page 17). These can make it much easier to show a mood or emotion through a text. So, for many teens, flirty texts are more doable than flirty conversation. Moreover, texting flirtatiously is more mysterious and open to interpretation than flirting in person. “Over texting you can think through each move and ask your friends and everything. It really doesn’t take any skill,” said DHS senior Alec Walecki when asked about flirting through texting. As it has been reported in the news, many

teens let their flirting get so far that suddenly they’re “sexting.” DHS junior Rachel Giersch said, “In texting, one thing leads to another, and before you know it – you’re sexting.” Sexting is flirty texts taken many steps further. It can consist of flirtatious texts with sexual references or nude to partially nude pictures being sent back and forth. According to examiner.com, 22 percent of teenage girls admit to having sexted at some point. So it seems that texting could cover all aspects of a relationship. It could even cover an ending – the dreaded break-up. “If someone finds the need to break up with their boyfriend or girlfriend over texting, it just shows a lack of confidence and respect,” said Davies. The lack of face-to-face speaking can be seen as a relief to some and a lack of respect to others. “(Breaking up over texting) takes out all the personality and feeling of it. It makes it way too easy,” said Walecki. Aside from the negative aspects of a relationship, texting can also be used for the uplifting parts of a romantic relationship. Instead of sending real flowers, a picture of flowers could be shared. An important part of romantic texting is getting creative. Teenagers are constantly looking for a sense of connection with other people, especially their boyfriend or girlfriend. Texting provides a quick, easy way to gain that connection. Senior Dylan Schwantes said, “It helps because you can stay connected with your partner and it allows you to talk without getting on the phone and calling each other. Sometimes it’s more fun to text.” Kate McElwain, 17, is the co-head editor of the student newspaper El Diablo and a senior at Durango High School. She is also featured as a teenage model in this publication on Pages 24 and 25.

16 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

What parents and teens should know about sexting Federal and state legislators are still working on the legal tangle of sexting; but under current childpornography laws, some teens can be charged and sent to prison for sexting. Knowing and understanding the possible legal consequences is always important, but teens and parents must be aware of all potential consequences (emotional, social, etc.) and realize that once a digital photo is shared, it can never by permanently deleted.

p th c

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n dd rys of .) n

Durango High School students Curtis Eggleston and Lindsey Jankowski text in the school hallway in this photo illustration. Isaiah Boyle, who is also a DHS student and photo editor for the student newspaper El Diablo, created this image. Boyle plans to pursue photography as a career. See his work at www.wix.com/ ibranchboyle/ isaiah-boyle.

<3 Love

D: () Horror

Hug

Photo courtesy of Isaiah Boyle

n Know who your teens are hanging out with on the phone, and online. Some parents want to know who their kids are with, and where they are going, approach computers and cell phones with the same attitude. n Sit down and talk to your teens about the effects of a nude or semi-nude photo. It’s a conversation worth having. n Never assume anything you send or post is private. Anything you post or send will never truly go away. n Never give in to pressure to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, even online.

\m/ “Rock on”

xD Laughing

\o/

Excitement Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 17

FAMILY

Reaching out

through playdates

Veteran mom & early-childhood expert offer tips, etiquette for pint-sized bonding By Karla Sluis Durango Living Editor

urango mom Kerri Merkel offers some basic advice for new parents about playdates: “Be patient, it’s gonna get loud – and probably messy!” Parents, take heart: A little spit-up on the floor is worth the trouble. Playdates help children’s social development in many ways, from infancy through the pre-teen years. Jessica Keitz, early childhood and parent education coordinator at the Family Center of Durango, says playdates can be one of the first outlets in which children make friends. A get-together also provides a safe and secure place to share experiences and learn safe limits. Playdates also afford children the opportunity to learn new social skills, such as sharing, taking turns, following rules and developing empathy. Moms and dads can also benefit as they brush up on interpersonal skills to take on a role as their child’s social secretary. Keitz said parents can share advice and provide social support for each other. “In today’s society, this can be especially useful, when extended families tend to be scattered across the country.” New parents may find that the initial call to another parent can feel like the awkward arranging of a first date. “Um, hi. You don’t know me, but I think your child is really sweet, and we would like to hang out with you.” Before making that first call, decide on a location and activity. Keitz said it is often less intimidating to find a neutral meeting place where you can get to know the parent, and your children can get to know each other, too. Have a picnic in the park, go to the museum or meet at the library.

If you’re a Type A person, you may have to fight the urge to micromanage play activities. Merkel, who is the media information specialist at Park Elementary School, said she didn’t plan activities for her schoolage children (Cassie, 10, and Jeffery, 13), when they were younger. She would set out several age-appropriate activities for kids to choose from, such as blocks, games or art supplies, and let children loose. “Their world is so structured, and I feel they need time to use their imaginations and just play.” Merkel said her children were good at making up games. She said Cassie once played a game with a friend where they would just get up and run around in circles. “It was very silly, and seemed pretty random, but was a lot of fun,” said Merkel. “I joined in.” Keitz said as long as parents supervise and provide clear boundaries about what can go on and what they are permitted to do, children should be allowed to play as they wish. However, Keitz said it’s also a good idea to have some back-up ideas planned in case the kids can’t come up with something to do on their own. A craft or activity is usually fun for kids of any age.

This should keep the playdate stress-free for you and the children. There isn’t a “magic age” to begin arranging playdates, said Keitz, but it is important to choose a child of relatively the same age. Between a 2- and 3-year-old or a 3- and 4-year-old, there is a great difference in both attention span and interests. At 10 and 13, Merkel’s children are now old enough to arrange their own playdates. “They just stopped needing – or maybe wanting would be a better word – me around,” she said. Keitz suggests parents with older children buy or make an address/phone book so the child can write in friends’ phone numbers. This way, they can call their friends and invite them over – after they have received permission from you, of course. Merkel offers a final piece of advice on playdates: “Enjoy them while they last!” she said. “I’m afraid their playdates will be turning into real dates way too quickly. Ugh!”

Photos.com

18 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

WEDDINGS

‘They want it to be

fun

’

Durango couples take the road less travelled for wedding ceremonies By Elizabeth Silverstein Special to Durango Living

rom planning to execution, Durango brides want to have fun and add special details while keeping their day affordable. An interactive, warm and inclusive wedding is the goal for many local women as they seek to make guests less “spectators” and more “participants.” Mandy Miller Winn of Celebrations Event Productions was the wedding planner for Mindy Stern, a certified life coach, and Patrick Meiering, founder of the organic dog and cat food company Zuke’s. On June 26, 2010, they were the first couple to be married at Wagon Road Ranch, a 100-year-old homestead on 25th Street toward Junction Creek and Turtle Lake. “We visited the venue right after we got engaged, and I instantly knew it was the place where we would have our wedding,” said Stern. “It feels like you’re out in the country, except it’s only a few-minutes drive from town. We liked that it was close to town and easy to find, since a lot of our out-of-town guests weren’t that familiar with Durango.” The ceremony included local, organic flowers, three types of cupcakes and a personal cake for Mindy and Patrick.

Winn described the wedding as “very Durango and earthy, but very upscale.” She added that the whole experience was one of “casual elegance.” “Everyone wants that, but this really had that feel,” said Winn. Drew Semel, who owns IlluminArts Photography with his wife Amy, has seen his share of unusual weddings, from a New Year’s Eve wedding at Durango Mountain Resort’s chapel to a wedding on Engineer Mountain that had guests hiking up a slope at 5 a.m. With so many things to do in Durango, brides tend to incorporate the river, the mountains – even the train. Semel’s company was hired for a wedding where over 100 people rode the train toward Silverton, got off See Fun, Page 21

r c t t i s t t

C c t t D

o c o c i

t T n p a In the middle of an early-spring snowstorm at Durango Mountain Resort, newlyweds Ian Altman and Irene Mercer put their unique spin on the “carrying over the threshold tradition.” Altman and Mercer, who are both avid backcountry skiers, were participating in a fashion shoot for this magazine. HAL LOTT/Herald

20 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

t w P c

A hotspot for getting hitched Southwest Colorado growing in popularity for destination weddings By Elizabeth Silvertstein Special to Durango Living

arriage is the launch pad for a new life. Many couples prepare to take off with a symbolic choice of wedding venue: a vacation in Durango. Carol Cardwell, of Carol Cardwell Photography, said that 10 years ago, about 20 percent of the weddings she shot were destination weddings – where couples and guests travel to the big event. Today, she has seen an increase to 75 percent, with fluctuations each season. She attributes the increase to advertising. More and more brides are turning to the Internet to find that special wedding site. “They love traveling here because it’s beautiful,” said Cardwell. Heather Hinsley, owner of local business Celebration Cakes, also attributes the increase of out-of-state brides she has seen to the growing use of advertising on the Internet, including her own business website. Durango’s beauty is just one attraction. “It’s a destination and an adventure,” said Hinsley. Whether brides come from overseas or all over the United States, and whether they choose to celebrate with family and friends or with a private ceremony, Durango is increasingly popular as the backdrop for creating memories. Hinsley, who created a cake with a bike on top for a couple from the Netherlands and a Twinkie cake for a couple married at Lightner Creek Inn, has worked with many couples who come here because of the variety of activities and the mountain backdrop. Adventure and beauty were a big part of the decision for Victoria and Matt Robinson, who were married Sept. 26, 2009, at Chris Park and are now expecting a baby boy. They chose Durango after visiting during the fall. “It was just gorgeous. We just knew: That was it,” said Victoria. “We wanted more of a rustic,

Fun Continued from Page 20 along the tracks and hiked to reach the spot the bride had chosen. Another couple incorporating their love of the outdoors is Irene Mercer, a fifth-grade teacher at Park Elementary, and Ian Altman, a graduate student at the University of Denver. (The two are fashion models in this magazine: see Pages

Photos courtesy of Drew Semel of IlluminArts Photography

Durango visitors Matt and Victoria Robinson pose in a rustic “photo booth” at their wedding in Chris Park on Sept. 26, 2009.

Heather Pollard and Jeremy Adrian kiss for a portrait June 7 at Dunton Hot Springs in Dolores. The scene combines the Midwest with the Southwest: The couple brought an old pickup truck from their home in the Midwest for the photography; and a teepee top is shown in the background.

home-grown feel. We love camping and sitting around a fire pit with s’mores and friends, and we wanted to keep that feel a bit.” They included their family and friends in the ceremony by having Matt’s father officiate the wedding, a friend play the violin and Matt’s sister read a poem. “We wanted a mountain wedding,” said Robinson, who met Matt in Atlanta. “We love Colorado, and all of our friends and family were going to be traveling anyway, because he’s from New York and I’ve got

family in Ohio and Florida. We decided we might as well choose a really cool place.” Some couples want more privacy, and they choose Durango for its beauty. Lynnette Stephens and William Hill, who live in Platteville, were married at Apple Orchard Inn in a private ceremony on May, 13, 2010. The only other people at their wedding were a minister and Cardwell and Tiffany Nelson of Carol Cardwell Photography. “Carol and Tiffany did such a beautiful job,” said Stephens. “They truly captured our entire day. They put together a video that everyone we sent it to either said they cried, or felt that they were there, or both.” Friends and family did give the couple grief for eloping, Stephens said, but the video and pictures changed their minds. “I remember every emotion I felt that day. It was just perfect,” said Stephens. “If anyone wants a perfect place to get married, Durango is where God blessed just a little bit extra.” Freelance writer Elizabeth Silverstein moved to Durango in October from Brooklyn, New York, where she taught art and story classes for children at a family center.

26-27.) When this magazine is published, they will be married. Their wedding day was March 19 in Silverton. When discussing what to do for their wedding, the one thing the couple could agree on was incorporating skiing. “We both got really excited and decided to run with it,” said Mercer. “We don’t like to do things like everyone else does. We love to ski, and wanted to be able to incorporate that into our wedding as much as possible.”

Before their ceremony, they planned to go skiing, and at 2:30 p.m., they planned to meet friends and family at the base of Irene Mine, which is on Cement Creek Road. There will be chairs, a few fires and rum drinks from Montanya Distillery. Mercer and Altman’s day will incorporate those Durango elements – something that reflects who they are – while including their family friends, in a day of play. “I think play has become a big thing with weddings,” said Winn. “They want it to be fun.”

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 21

FASHION Photos by Hal Lott

LEFT: Lindsay Eppich wears an ivory gown with sheer organza over luxe satin lining ($975) and veil with beaded trim ($105) from Occasions Bridal & Events Boutique. Her fiancé Jonathan Abshagen wears an ensemble from Jim’s Formal Wear via Occasions: jacket, champagne vest, ivory tie and pants ($119.95 for rental). The couple stood on the steps of St. Columba Catholic Church for the fashion shoot. The couple plans to marry Oct. 8. 22 • Sunday, March 27, 2011

ABOVE: Eppich wears an Alfred Angelo olive short dress ($148) and Coloriffics gold flip-flops ($39) from Occasions. RIGHT: A handheld bouquet was designed by April Albert of Blossom.

RIGHT: Eppich wears a Mariell necklace and earrings set ($30) from Occasions. ABOVE RIGHT: The back of the wedding gown features silver embroidery and crystal buttons.

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 23

FASHION Photos by Hal Lott

Ready for Prom

Durango High School students model dresses at the General Palmer Hotel. RIGHT: Paige Serzen wears an Akiko pleated chiffon dress from Blu Boutique ($218). BELOW: Tessa Wickstrom models a Lovposh Sugar Plum Fairy dress from Silk Sparrow ($62); Kate McElwain wears an Akiko v-neck dress with silver shoulder accent ($161) from Blu Boutique.

AB and

ABOVE: From left, the teenagers wear formal dresses from Occasions Bridal & Events Boutique. Jacqueline Heinrich wears a WToo by Watters yellow gown ($194); Wickstrom models a short green dress ($139); McElwain wears a blue Alfred Angelo gown ($188); and Serzen wears an Alfred Angelo pink dress with organza bow ($75).

LEFT: Wickstrom models a Paula KC ivory dress with cascading ruffles ($64); and Heinrich wears a 5th Culture Ocean Dreams print dress ($53), both from Silk Sparrow.

ABOVE: Paul Black, co-owner of B&B Party Rentals, shows off his carriage and Belgian draft horses Ted and Power. Black wears a Cinch blue print shirt ($59.99) and Cripple Creek black suede vest ($39.99) from Boot Barn, and Wrangler jeans ($41) and a Resistol “Dalton” hat ($105) from Kelly’s Cowboy Co.

ABOVE: The teens model dresses from Blu Boutique, from left: McElwain in an Eva Franco black striped “Gabby” dress ($475); Serzen in an Eva Franco green print “Tilda” dress ($238); Heinrich in an Eva Franco black velvet dress ($282); and Wickstrom in a Nicole Miller blue short dress ($352). LEFT: Black wears a MHT Westerns black hat ($59.99), a white Panhandle Slim shirt ($42.99), a Scully black vest ($59.99), “Durango Boot” Farm & Ranch boots ($129.99) from Boot Barn, and black Wrangler jeans from Kelly’s Cowboy Co. ($41). Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 25

FASHION Photos by Hal Lott

ABOVE: Irene Mercer wears a North Face Amore Jacket ($249) and Freedom Pant ($149) from Pine Needle Mountaineering. RIGHT: April Albert of Blossom designed a handheld bouquet of tulips.

26 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

ABOVE: Mercer wears an Alfred Angelo short, strapless gown with silver embroidery ($299) from Occasions during an early-spring snowstorm at Durango Mountain Resort. LEFT: Ian Altman wears a merino Icebreaker Bodyfit Base Layer ($70), Patagonia Alpine Climbing Slimfit pants ($125), and Rab Pertex Microlight Alpine Jacket, ($215) from Pine Needle Mountaineering. Mercer and Altman were married March 19 in Silverton. Durango Living Spring Edition â&#x20AC;˘ Sunday, March 27, 2011 â&#x20AC;˘ 27

FASHION

Meet the models A LOVE STORY: Irene Mercer & Ian Altman n What they do: Irene teaches fifth grade at Park Elementary School. Ian is a former art teacher and currently an intern teacher at DHS and working toward his Master’s degree in social work. n How they met: They first saw each other at a hat-themed Christmas party in 2007. One was coming in and the other was heading out, and they crossed paths in the stairwell. “My friends told me later, ‘oh my gosh, the sparks were flying between you two!’ ” Within five minutes of talking, they exchanged phone numbers. n What was the first thing that attracted you to him/her? Irene: the sparkle of his eyes and his smile. Ian: Her blue eyes, her long legs and her voice. n First date: They went out to dinner at Cyprus Café. Later, in mid-January, Irene was just learning how to backcountry ski, and Ian had experience in the sport, so early dates involved skiing. n Shared hobbies & interests: Running, climbing, skiing, biking: “This is why we live here in Durango.”

n Annoying habits you put up with because you love him/her: Irene: Sometimes our athletic pursuits are solo, and they don’t always match. I worry about him when I don’t know where he is, so he has a “personal locator beacon” when he’s out in the wilderness. Ian: She has to run every day, and if she doesn’t, she gets grumpy. The proposal: It took place on New Year’s Day 2010 on a 12,200’ peak in a snowstorm in Silverton. They were married very close to this spot. n Wedding plans: They were married in the way they fell in love and spend much of their time together. The ceremony was held on skis near Silverton at the base of Irene Mine on March 19. The reception was held at the Grand Imperial Hotel in Silverton. Honeymoon: Since they are teachers, they are

HAL LOTT/Herald

planning a getaway in June or at the winter holiday break. n Best qualities: Irene: His athletic ability. “We both have ‘the worm,’ that feeling that you just have to go out and run 20 miles or bike 80 miles, or ski like crazy. We match.” Ian: She gets things done. She’s “on it” and thoughtful.

A LOVE STORY: Lindsay Eppich & Jonathan Abshagen n What they do: Lindsay owns Eppich Photography: A Community Lens. Jonathan is an associate with the Southern Ute Growth Fund. n How they met: Both of them were born and raised in Durango, and they both attended Durango High School and CU, but Jonathan graduated seven years ahead of Lindsay. They met last year at the Snowdown fundraiser for La Plata Open Space Conservancy. A family friend introduced them. “It sounds so corny, but at that moment, everything else in the room had that ‘faded out’ feeling,” said Lindsay. n What was the first thing that attracted you? Lindsay: His smile. Jonathan: Her outfit – she was wearing red – and her eyes. n First date: They had drinks at The Office. The next date, Jonathan visited Lindsay’s parents to watch the Super Bowl. “My sister liked him, and I was wowed. She never liked any of the guys I dated. That impressed me,” said Lindsay. n Shared hobbies: They both love skiing, and are planning river trips. The couple likes to

volunteer to help the community. And they love wine, said Lindsay with a laugh. n Annoying habits you put up with because you love him/her: Lindsay: His driving. Jonathan: Her indecisiveness over little things, like what to have for dinner. n The proposal: The engagement wasn’t a surprise: The two had talked about marriage and picked out a ring together ahead of time. But the proposal was on a bunch of rocks on the coast in Point Reyes, northern California. “Right afterwards, a giant elephant seal popped up out of the ocean,” Lindsay said. n Wedding plans: The ceremony will be held Oct. 8 at the Rochester Inn courtyard, and the reception will be in the Durango Arts Center theater. “We’re two Durango kids and we wanted to have a downtown wedding,” said Lindsay. n Honeymoon: They are still planning the perfect getaway. n Best qualities: Lindsay: His thoughtfulness. Jonathan: Her kindness and how she treats everybody. HAL LOTT/Herald

28 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

What do teenage girls want in a prom date? The Durango High School 2011 prom will be held April 9 from 8 p.m. to midnight in the Fort Lewis College Ballroom. The After Prom Party will begin at midnight at the Durango Community Recreation Center. Durango Living asked this edition’s teenage models to give a little information about themselves and their thoughts on prom.

Paige Serzen

n Age: 16 n Parents: Scott and Betsy Serzen n School: Junior at Durango High School n Activities & interests: Co-arts editor

of the El Diablo student newspaper, an avid participant with theatre troupe 1096 on and off the stage and also a member of Key Club n Ideal prom date: “Someone easygoing and funny, who happens to have great taste! Just someone to laugh with and have a great time with.”

Kate McElwain

n Age: 17 n Parents: Jeff & Peggy McElwain n School: Senior at DHS n Activities & interests: Student

Council, Peer Helper and co-editorin-chief of El Diablo n Ideal prom date: “My ideal prom date would be very laid-back and funny, someone who could make me laugh and I could goof around with easily. He’d have to make me feel like the most beautiful belle at the ball, of course.”

Jacqueline Heinrich

n Age: 18 n Parents: Barbara and Gordon Heinrich n School: Senior at DHS n Activities & interests: Co-editor-in-

chief of El Diablo. She is headed to the University of Pennsylvania in the fall n Ideal prom date: “My ideal prom date would be sweet, have a good sense of humor, and he’d make the evening really fun.”

Tessa Wickstrom

n Age: 17 n Mother: Theresa Wickstrom n School: Junior at DHS n Activities & interests: In National Art

Honors Society and DHS Soccer n Ideal prom date: “My ideal prom date would definitely be someone that I could have fun with. Nothing too fancy – just easy-going and a sense of humor. There wouldn’t be anything super-formal, he would treat me like a friend more than anything, hopefully, and just be able to have a good time.

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 29

ARTS

Art of the

Heart pendant by Ben Nighthorse Image courtesy of Sorrel Sky Gallery

heart

By Karla Sluis

FLC dean links lovers through the ages in gallery talk on hormones vs. romance

tinted brushes, scientists like to crush and sandwich it between microscope slides. “Fisher says that falling in love is more t’s no secret for artists: Love is lovely to about brain chemistry than anything else,” behold. Couples have been gazing, walk- said Schott. “In fact, the brains of people ing, dancing, kissing and embracing on newly in love are similar to the brains of canvas for centuries. people with cocaine addiction.” Linda Schott, the dean of arts, humaniScientists say those dopey, strung-out ties and social sciences at Fort Lewis Col- feelings are due to elevated hormones – lege, offered a Powerpoint parade of lovers specifically dopamine (the “fixation” on through history in her lecture, someone) and norepinephrine (a “The Art (and Science) of “high” with obsessive thoughts and Love,” which featured some compulsive behavior). works dating as far back as “The brains What’s the purpose of this bio1306. logical flood? Well, biology, said of people “Yeah, we’re going to be Schott. Reproduction. newly in here all night,” she said. “Those feelings of attachment are A ripple of laughter went love are only there so you can tolerate that through the audience of about person long enough to raise chil30 people at Sorrel Sky Gal- similar to dren,” she said. lery on Feb. 10. The event was the brains The audience on Feb. 10 was a fundraiser for the FLC Founmade up of many couples past dation, and it was scheduled in of people middle age. Schott tantalized them amorous anticipation of Valen- with cocaine with a question: If love is just a sectine’s Day weekend. Schott’s ond-hand emotion, can attachment presentation combined famous addiction.” last a lifetime? She said she found works of art with local artists’ disappointingly few examples of creations featured at the gal- - Linda Schott, mature love to include in the slide lery, which showed a striking offering a detail show. similarity between ancient and from the book “But there’s hope, OK?” she said. modern works. Love hasn’t Why We Love “We’ll get to that.” changed much since ShakeThe subject of lovers’ euphospeare’s time, after all: Same drama, different ria, on the other hand, is apparently a century. dime a dozen in the history of art. Schott The science of love came from Schott’s showed renditions of a couple’s “first study of the book Why We Love, by Helen glance,” from the work of Renaissance Fisher. If artists frame love through rose- masters to Taylor Swift’s “A Love Story”

Durango Living Editor

30 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

music video. Walking together and dancing are the next steps of proper wooing, as evidenced in Pierre-Auguste Renoir’s “The Ball at the Moulin de la Galette” all the way to a local artist featured at the gallery in Carrie Fell’s “Summer’s Calling.” A proper sequence of wooing leads to embracing – a favorite subject of masters such as Marc Chagall, Pablo Picasso, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Gustav Klimt and modern artists such as Roy Lichtenstein. Then comes marriage. Schott showed some slides of weddings that she categorized as “problematic love,” where the couple clearly had lost the original spark. Some were expressionless; others looked downright hostile. “Do these images conjure up passion and love?” she asked the audience. “Do we have to give up romantic love as we sustain our jobs, children and homes?” Possibly because it was before Valentine’s Day, the answer was a rose-tinted yes. Schott said author Robert C. Solomon in his book About Love theorizes that love is an emotional process – not a momentary feeling or passion – and not just willy-nilly hormones. Love often doesn’t last because we don’t understand it, he argues. “It’s not something you find, but something you develop. What one chooses is a life shared,” said Schott of Solomon’s work. “The one reason we love, seen so clearly by the ancients, is simply this: We bring out the best in each other.”

Students at FLC explore Love 101 Fort Lewis College writing instructor Ayla Moore offered a Comp 2 course this year titled “Academic Research and Inquiry.” When she was designing the course, she said she wanted to find something to study that we all have in common in order to keep students interested and engaged. “Naturally, the answer was love,” said Moore. The students read scholarly texts, and were required to add a new idea or perspective to our knowledge of romantic love. Below, Moore offers excerpts of fresh ideas from her students’ papers.

Jordan Krider

The hypothesis of Evolution has no trace of love ... that could have evolved with our species. It is based on a random occurrence of events taking place to form life. Reproduction, then, is the only form of a relationship to be found in the concept. ... Creation is based on love. It is an intentional act by God. Supported by a positive motive — life. It involves a close personal relationship with a maker who has our well-being in mind. Through all of this we can see that Creation is a love story – with a love that gives meaning to our lives.

Amelia Burns

KARLA SLUIS/Herald

Linda Schott, dean of arts, humanities and social sciences at Fort Lewis College, stands in front of Carrie Fell’s painting “Honky Tonk Dream” at Sorrel Sky Gallery. Another painting by Fell, shown below, is “Summer’s Calling.” Both images were used as part of Schott’s presentation on “The Art (and Science) of Love” at the gallery on Feb. 10.

The concept of love has in fact evolved with society in such a way that the idea of love has been influenced by changing and unrealistic notions of romance and thus later influences how it is continued to be portrayed in media such as movies. If it is possible that love is in fact being manipulated in such a way as to change its proper meaning or the truth of its character, how is it then seen in movie genres such as apocalyptic film in which it is competing with a disaster plot? Asenas theorizes that, “in our heads, we may know that films portray unrealistic myths about love, but in our hearts we still want to believe that one magical day we will find our true love and live happily ever after” (298). While this feeling may be true, …what role is love given within movies portraying the human struggle to survive after a major disaster that threatens the entire existence of the human species?

Skye Salganek

Loneliness has been studied, but the reasons for why we feel loneliness are still undetermined. Perhaps the most widespread studies on loneliness seek to determine those who are most prone to loneliness, increasing human isolation in the technological era, and the effects of loneliness on our mental and physical health… I am proposing that humans feel loneliness because of our evolutionary adaptation to regulate isolation from society and to encourage reproduction.... In the same way that burning our skin on a hot stove protects us from physical danger, loneliness protects us from the dangers of isolation and presents us with opportunities for mating and reproduction.

Zach Butler

Image courtesy of Sorrel Sky Gallery

“Invented by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo in 1999 to… keep Jewish singles from marrying outside the faith, speeddating has rapidly become an international phenomenon that has diverse populations infatuated with finding a romantic partner. Yet with less than half of the participants coming away with a ‘potential’ mate, what does speed-dating reveal about the motivation we as Americans have for finding and establishing a romantic relationship and how does that affect our view of love?” Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 31

ARTS

‘Ah, I’ve

been there’

Durango singer Lisa Blue explains her process for writing a love song that resonates with listeners By Elizabeth Silverstein Special to Durango Living

or Lisa Blue, finding the right mixture for the perfect love song is simple enough – but finding the balance can be tricky. “I think it has to be personal, yet universal. If it’s too personal, no one wants to hear it,” said Blue. “People have to relate to it and say, ‘Ah, I’ve been there.’ If you can pull that off, you’ve got a good song.” She uses both her experience and that of others when writing, using the happy and the sad stories equally. She considers her writing a way to emote, she said. When trying to express those emotions, however, sometimes that means having to write when the idea hits, which can be when others are still asleep. “Sometimes a line will come to me – a string of words together. Sometimes it’s a feeling. You want to find a way to express that. That’s the one where you get up at 4 in the morning with this burning desire to tap it out,” said Blue. The creative process is just a part of who she is. “I write because I can’t not write,” said Blue. One song that evolved as she was writing was “Llano Estacado,” a song about a region in New Mexico, which is one of Blue’s most current songs. “It’s inspired by a place, really, but it morphed into a love song,” said Blue. “Llano Estacado” is about an old man dry land farming and his difficulties, yet how he loves it. The process of writing about his experience became writing about her experience. “It’s about love not returned,” said Blue. “It’s not necessarily written from a romantic perspective, but it’s really about having someone in your life that doesn’t know what

they have – they kind of miss the boat.” Another love song she wrote, called “You’re the One,” was for her daughter, who was married three years ago and is expecting a baby in June, and how much she taught her. “I wrote a song for the wedding,” said Blue. “It was basically saying, ‘I thought I was the teacher, but you’re the one that helped me through.’” Overall, Blue usually performs about two to three times a week, singing and playing the congos, usually accompanied by a bassist and a guitarist. “If you’re playing six nights a week, it feels like work,” said Blue, who also works as an office manager for a computer software company. She’s going through a few band changes right now, but she’s played with artists from all manner of experience – from those who have been playing for 30 years to those that just moved to town and play their first gig with her. “It’s pretty awesome,” she said. Blue grew up in Hawaii, and along with listening to Hawaii music, Blue also enjoyed listening to the radio as family members performed the Grand Ole Opry. Despite the mixture of sounds, she always found herself drawn to music, even writing songs when she was 12 and performing in an a cappella trio when she was in high school. “I’m not sure what the draw is – a lot of people become fans,” said Blue. “But for me, performing is so gratifying. I like to say it’s cheaper than therapy.” While she tried the Hollywood scene for seven years, she prefers the family feel that Durango musicians have. “I’d rather work with the local musicians any day of the week than the artists in L.A.,” said Blue. “It’s like a musical family in Durango. It really is. It’s a bunch of great players that are great people, too.”

32 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

“You’re The One”

By Lisa Blue and Sterling Procter

Skinned our knees and broke our hearts Up all night together babe To see a falling star Learning how to love each other Near or far Watched each other growing up and we Hurt each other maybe a time or two We always came out stronger You changing me, me changing you Best friend and the brightest spark I ever saw I ever knew I thought I was your teacher But you’re the one who helped me through If we get scratched up and broken down If we patch it up make up a thousand times times ten If I start to think it’s over Will you help me believe again? Best friend and the brightest spark I ever saw I ever knew I thought I was your teacher But you’re the one who helped me through

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Singer Lisa Blue performs at The Diamond Belle Saloon and other venues in Durango. For a list of her event times, visit www.lisabluesongs.com. Photo courtesy of Elizabeth Samuell of Thru the Lens Photography

Durango Living Spring Edition â&#x20AC;˘ Sunday, March 27, 2011 â&#x20AC;˘ 33

HOME

Tech-free

zone

Durango family avoids ‘digital zombie’ isolation with thoughtful design of a versatile great room space By Norma Byrd

TV, computer, cell phone and iPod practically in the crib, it seems that families are growing further apart. What we see is an entire generation of “digital zomany decades ago, ordinary family homes bies” hiding away in their bedrooms, glued to earhad basically simple layouts. You had a buds, headphones, tiny video screens and game deliving room, dining room, kitchen, bed- vices, texting frantically, Facebooking or playing the rooms and baths. latest version of Wii. And it’s not only small kids and The kitchen was where Mother spent most of her teenagers physically attached to their digital worlds, day preparing meals, canning from the but many adults as well. Nearly everyone garden, ironing and tending babies. “With so much has his or her “own thing” going on. Often it served as a warm spot for a litCan effective design, along with a ter of puppies or kittens, and sometimes constructive good dose of parental intelligence and even for hatching a flock of baby chicks. activity going direction, help to change this pattern? (How many remember that?) Meals Duane and Joanna Tucker are proof were usually eaten there, since the dining on, there is the answer is yes. room, just as the living room, was kept simply no time Living in rural Durango, the Tuckfor Sunday dinners and special “compaers with their two children, 7-year-old ny.” The fact that so much daily activity or desire for Kyla, and 2-year-old Canyon, plus occurred in the kitchen made it the famthree dogs, have created an environvideo gaming, ily hub, where children congregated for ment of family togetherness centered afterschool snacks and to do homework nor do our kids around their love of interactive music, or craft projects at the big kitchen table, drama, games and hobbies. They have have iPods, and where Dad often sat after work to no separate living or dining room, rathread the paper or go over household bills iPhones, or any er they designed and built their modest with mom, and smoke his pipe or cigar. log home with a fairly large open space Over time, houses grew larger with of those (kinds where all these activities take place in more rooms, Mom took an outside job, of) electronic a great room. and children had more activities and It’s not a unique concept, as the great interests away from home. The kitch- gadgets.” room trend began some years ago en wasn’t as desirable anymore as the and simply brings us full circle, back – Joanna Tucker main family hangout, and many homes to those earlier large kitchens. In this relegated children and their toys and case, the term great room might be activities to their own bedrooms, or a “rumpus room” deceiving, since their home overall is far removed in the basement or attic. from the mini-mansions prevalent in some areas. The family room evolved to meet some of the same When developing it, their stress was on quality of needs but was, perhaps unfortunately, influenced time to be spent together in the well-planned space, largely by television and other electronic media. rather than on size. Many parents found TV a wonderfully convenient Duane is a sixth-grade language arts teacher at babysitter, and this affected a separation of family Escalante Middle School and Joanna, a former members, rather than fostering togetherness. Today, teacher, owns Rocky Mountain Children’s Company, with nearly every kid being presented his or her own recently renamed Sprout, in downtown Durango.

Special to Durango Living

See Zone, Page 36

34 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

Photo courtesy of Joanna Tucker

Joanna Tucker plays Candyland with daughters Kyla, 7, left, and Canyon, 2, in the family room of their home in Durango. Their great room takes place of a traditional living room and dining room.

Durango Living Spring Edition â&#x20AC;˘ Sunday, March 27, 2011 â&#x20AC;˘ 35

HOME

Photo courtesy of Joanna Tucker

Duane Tucker jams with his daughters in the great room of their home. The Tuckers designed the space with an emphasis on quality time as a family.

Zone: Continued from Page 34 Couple put ‘sweat equity’ into their great room space The Tuckers’ busy professional lives make their family time that much more important, and they attempt to limit outside influences such as television, except for educational programs or current affairs. Computer use is allowed to research for school work with parental guidance. “With so much constructive activity going on, there is simply no time or desire for video gaming, nor do our kids have iPods, iPhones, or any of those (kinds of) electronic gadgets,” said Joanna. Although the children’s friends are welcomed for playtime and birthday parties, and some adult guests may be invited occasionally, the Tuckers’ great room is largely devoted to their growing family. Designed for ultimate comfort and livability, it is nevertheless tastefully and warmly decorated. The couple believes children need to learn that besides enjoying and fully utilizing a space, they can also learn to respect their environment and keep it neat and clean. Joanna and Duane believe their home encourages this while offering a solid foundation for their children’s healthy growth. We asked, what are some of the details incorporated that helped achieve all of their goals?

n Comfortable, sturdy furniture that can truly be lived on. n A real wood-burning fireplace. n One or more tables large enough for everyone to eat, work or play together. n Storage space that permits organization of each person’s equipment or projects. In the Tuckers’ case, storage space is in each child’s adjacent room, and the house rule is that they must put things away when they’re finished with them. n Doors that remain opened to an outer deck during pleasant weather, bringing the outside in. n Close access to a bathroom. How much would you need to spend for this kind of space? The Tuckers put a lot of “sweat equity” into theirs, doing all the planning and helping with the building, but because the family room space is a large percentage of the house, their cost adds up to a considerable amount. The ordinary consumer might spend from $5,000 to $40,000 or more (if adding new space), depending on how much furnishing is involved. Although we have just come through a period of constraint where elective spending was severely restricted, recent surveys show that with the improving economy,

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consumers’ preferences are changing. Tired of putting plans off for upsizing to a larger home, or for existing home improvements, homeowners are now looking toward getting on with these important changes while their families can still enjoy them. The year 2009 saw a slight rise in spending, which continued through 2010. Forty percent of homebuyers now want to increase the size of their homes, according to the National Association of Homebuilders, and 67 percent of owners surveyed see home-office and family space, such as family rooms, as an important improvement. However, there is an ongoing stigma attached to the idea of spending money they don’t have, and borrowing for such improvements. But you might ask yourself this important question: If you knew that the investment would definitely result in a closer-knit family unit, how much would you be willing to spend to achieve it? It is now considered far wiser to plan ahead, research thoroughly and spend carefully to realize these goals. Norma Byrd of Design Innovations is a newcomer to Durango. She is the past president of the San Diego chapter of the American Society of Interior Designers.

GARDEN A space where memories bloom

ardener Deon Mertz has many touching reminders of her late husband Clyde. Every flower, stone and statue in the landscape keep his memory alive, because they created the garden together from scratch. Mertz, a member of the Durango Garden Club, spends many hours maintaining and enjoying the garden around her home on CR 301 near Durango – and it shows. Every nook and cranny is artfully planted with complementary colors and textures. Mertz has a knack for container design, and she likes to tuck in whimsical statues and garden art among the plants. A stone bench in Clyde’s honor is a focal point, and Mertz often sits there to admire the flowers. An inscription says “Thanks for the memories.” “It’s where I feel my ‘Clydey’ – more than in the cemetery,” said Mertz. “His love for plants is all around. It’s comforting to me.”

KARLA SLUIS/Herald photos

A stone bench in memory of Mertz’s husband is a focal point in the garden.

– Karla Sluis, Durango Living Editor

RIGHT: Deon Mertz holds a copy of the 2001 spring edition of Durango Living. She and her late husband Clyde were featured on the cover for their work on their garden. BELOW: A metal arch frames a view of La Plata Mountains to the north. Mertz’s granddaughter, Dana Mertz, plans to be married in this spot in a big wedding on July 30.

ABOVE: Mertz’s garden is shown at the peak of bloom in late August, 2010. Landscaping includes a fountain, grasses, perennials and standout colors of day lily (above) and butterfly delphinium (left). Small statues crouch near containers.

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 37

Men

HOME

crave caves

Durango men create – or long for – a space for stuff, hobbies and solitude

By Norma Byrd Special to Durango Living

t is 2011 B.C. and Ogg sits before the fire, thinking how great it would be to have a separate place of his own, away from the smoke and cooking smells, away from the kids playing rock soccer, someplace quiet where he can hang with some of the guys and discuss the day’s mastodon hunt, or even just be by himself gnawing on a bone. It could be a separate part of the cave, or up high in a tree, as long as it provided him some peace and quiet and a place where he could sharpen his stone ax and maybe even invent the wheel. Do men today crave a refuge in which to work or play – a man cave? Do some already enjoy the blissful peace and quiet that Ogg longed for? A woodsy retreat Dean Cox, born in Durango and two-time graduate of Fort Lewis College, has been working for three years on his dream retreat, a rustic cabin on a 10-acre mining claim above Silverton. His family settled in the Durango area in the late 1800s, working as miners and providers of various miningrelated services. A modest inheritance from his late mother, Silverton-born Julia Patterson Cox enabled him to acquire the land and build the cabin. His fondest hope is to trace some of the family’s historical footsteps through the mountains, finding the remnants

of tracks and trams, shafts and tailings – the very fabric of his Patterson family legacy. He built the cabin largely alone with his own hands, and many tools of his own making. It will be a place to escape the beeps and buzzes of modern life and to absorb the surrounding nature in every aspect and every season. Although rustic by design definition, Cox’s retreat will have the convenience of kitchen and bath facilities with broad views of the forest and mountains. Hobby space is a micro-world Duane Danielson has been enjoying the fruits of his own version of a man cave for seven years. Retired from the field of financial services, he has spent many hundreds of hours developing an amazing O scale (¼” to the foot) functioning model railroad on most of the lower level of his large home in rural Durango. Covering

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approximately 2,500 square feet and most of the 9½’ height, he runs over 1,300 feet of track and 25 to 30 detailed trains through replicas of real mining and lumber towns. The layout is designed and runs exactly as a full-sized train system would operate over its entire set of rails. Ninety-nine percent of the planning, construction and installation so far has been accomplished by Danielson alone (wife Judy has helped when such things as drapery at tiny windows was required), and most of his time is spent solo in his “cave” with his dream of a lifetime. Wanted: A tricked-out tool shed Walter Hammerle transplanted to Durango six years ago and plans to stay “forever,” he said. Running a hospitality business in his home keeps him and his wife Jodi occupied with ongoing repairs and See Caves, Page 39

Durango resident Duane Danielson stands in the lower level of his home, which is filled with an elaborate model railroad. He says he has spent hundreds of hours building and maintaining the space.

Caves: Continued from Page 38 maintenance, and although at this time he doesn’t have a separate space to call his own, he longs for the time when he can build a well-equipped workshop. It would ideally be connected to the house, but it’s more likely that it will be a separate structure on the large property. Two existing open sheds, while not usable as they are, are nevertheless possibilities to enclose and weatherproof for his use. His plan would be to have a large, sturdy workbench and storage space for tools and supplies. A utility sink with running water for washing out paint brushes and general use would be a plus. Good natural light should be augmented by plenty of energy-efficient electric lighting, and there would of course be a heating system for winter use. Sporty dad needs gear shed Todd Macom is a typical young-adult Durangoan. With hiking, biking, climbing, skiing and fishing gear, his needs for his “cave” space are quite specific. Macom has established a successful webbased book-selling business from his home. He and his wife Brenda and 5-year-old daughter Mia live in a modest townhouse where space is at a premium. At this point, much of his important stuff is housed in the garage. Recalling his parents’ and grandparents’ time, men often had a separate tool shed or shop, with work benches and cabinets they constructed themselves, and they used the space for handiwork around the home. But Macom and his Gen X peers, especially here in Durango, are deeply into outdoor sports. They often spend more money and time on buying and maintaining their gear than men of the past, and therefore need to have specific space to house it. If they don’t have a dedicated space, it’s something they dream of, and it would include much of the same wish list that Walter Hammerle has for his separate space.

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 39

PETS

When good dogs

gobad

Durango dog trainers help people solve puzzling behavior problems By Karla Sluis Durango Living Editor

our dog yawns, paces and pants. What is he trying to tell you? According to two local dog trainers, he’s saying “I’m stressed out.” If you are oblivious to that subtle communication, a formerly “good” dog may suddenly become destructive or aggressive. This upsets and perplexes dog owners, who are clueless when the sweet family pet begins urinating in the house, barking constantly or snapping at the kids. “There is a whole language of dogs that is complex,” said Juliet Whitfield, a dog training instructor and owner of Durango Dogs, which provides services such as group classes, boarding, training and “puppy parties” for socialization. “Finally, there are studies being done on what each movement means. There is no dog whispering. Every dog owner can learn to understand their dog with just a little effort,” she said. When a trained adult dog suddenly misbehaves, the first thing to look at is ruling out medical issues, according to Julie Winkelman, owner and lead trainer of Alpha Canine Academy, a dog training business in Durango that offers several classes and socialization events. Winkelman suggests owners send the dog to a vet to get a blood work-up. Urinary tract infections may be the cause of urinating the house, and thyroid issues can cause a dog to be somewhat aggressive. An ear infection can make a normally tolerant pet sensitive and irritable when handled roughly by children. Sometimes a sudden problem is due to aging. Canine cognitive dysfunction is a kind of dementia in elderly dogs. They may get up in the middle of the night and start barking or urinating in the house. Winkelman said it’s “not fair” to use a drug to change a dog, and owners should always work on behavior first. However, a vet may help owners decide on drugs that can be a big help if the problem is an imbalance of brain chemicals. If a veterinarian says a dog is healthy, then owners can call on the help and expertise of trainers to get to the root of behavior issues. Dogs are like people in that they can be sensitive to changes in environment. Whitfield said she had a client with a dog that started getting anxious in the house “all of a sudden,” with the classic stress signs of panting and pacing. After many questions, Whitfield determined that the owner had bought a new TV, which was the cause of the nervous behavior. The TV was changed out, and the dog calmed down. She said it was possible that a static charge or an ultrasonic sound was coming from the TV that upset the dog. See Dogs, Page 41

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Dogs: Continued from Page 40 Winkelman says that owners should be aware that the dog’s breed combined with personality is a factor in behavior issues. She shared a success story about a border collie that was an “intelligent, nervous little dog” that couldn’t handle a busy household filled with other dogs. “He needed a calm home without other pets. A simple environment switch made a huge difference, and that dog is so happy now,” she said. Beyond the breed, dogs are individuals, Winkelman said, and some have “fear genetics” that are highly inheritable – especially the herding breeds popular in Durango. “When you see a cringing type of dog, people assume that there was a traumatic event. But that’s rarely the case,” she said. Early, frequent meetings with other people and dogs can help an animal with this kind of personality, she said. “Socialization is like a behavior vaccination. You’re looking out for the dog’s health.” Dogs are pack animals that find comfort in routine and knowing their place in a family hierarchy. Changes in the family, such as divorce, new baby, new roommates or boyfriend, or moving to a new neighborhood can rock a dog’s world and make him feel insecure.

Wikelman described a local family with a dog that became despondent after a young man left home for college. The dog was deeply attached to the man. When he left, the dog was ruddlerless. He would get stressed when the family went off to work, and started getting destructive. Winkelman worked with the family to provide stimulating toys for the dog when they were at work, so he had a better association with being left alone. After the training, the dog now looks to someone else in the family as the leader. “You can’t just suddenly leave them alone and expect them to be fine all day,” said Winkelman. “It’s not like flipping the lights: Dogs don’t have an ‘off’ switch.” Whitfield agrees that behavior training with toys, treats and praise are far more effective than punishments. “I work to desensitize a dog to the scary or confusing thing. You have to change a negative association to a positive association with the situation,” she said. An example is leash aggression, she said. It starts with the owner popping the leash and telling their dog no every time that they see another dog. The dog makes a negative association to other dogs on the leash because

he is being treated poorly when he sees another dog. Turn this around, said Whitfield: When you see another dog, make some happy talk, get to the side of the trail, have your dog do basic commands like sit, down, stand, touch, shake, and reward with treats. Do this 10 to 20 times, and your dog will look to you every time you see a dog, and you will both have a great association of seeing other dogs when walking with a leash. Changing bad behavior is a matter of attention and awareness, but the key point to recognize that your pet is a complex animal – not a fluffy toy. “If a family is looking at a dog as a thing, they’re not going to get anywhere,” said Winkelman. “You have to look through that dog’s eyes and build empathy.”

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 41

PETS

Match

your mutt

Choose the right dog for a happy, long-term relationship By Julie Winkelman Special to Durango Living

inding that perfect dog is all about finding out about yourself. Just as with the other relationships in your life, your dog companion needs to match your personality in several core areas. A good match in activity level is crucial. A “couch potato” personality is a bad match for the active herding, sporting and terrier breeds, just as an active, athletic personality is a poor match for a sedentary lap dog. How would you characterize your temperament? A shy, introverted personality is best suited for the more timid, reserved breeds. Bold, outgoing types would be better off sticking to breeds that thrive on challenges and diversity. Last, but not least, a dog’s intelligence level needs to match your willingness to actively engage with your dog. The smarter the dog, the more input that dog will need to remain psychologically healthy. Another lifestyle consideration that is crucial to a good match is the composition of your family. Couples without children and single people have a much wider range of possible breed choices than families with small children. No matter what the family make-up is, each member should help to decide what characteristics are most important in choosing a dog. The time you have to devote to a dog is another important point for you to think through. You can’t turn off the television, the lights and then the dog as you leave for yet another 10-hour workday. Dogs are thinking, feeling beings that need your time and attention. If you don’t have the time needed, then the best dog for you might be a goldfish. So, how do you choose a dog? After identifying what you want in a dog and your ability to meet the dog’s needs, your next step is to decide if you prefer a purebred dog or a mixed breed. Each choice has its strengths and weaknesses. When choosing a purebred dog, you can usually expect to get characteristics that are outlined in the American Kennel Club breed profile. (Go to www.akc.org/breeds/index.cfm to investigate breed characteristics of over 150 breeds.) I say “usually” because every dog has its own unique personality. There are labs that don’t care for children, German shepherds that don’t guard and terriers that are timid. The downside to choosing a purebred dog is that you rarely get to evaluate the puppies and choose the one you feel is best suited to your needs. Choosing a mixed-breed dog can be a challenge, because many times the potpourri of breeds involved is unknown. (For help in understanding the characteristics of many of the most common mutt mixes, check out Mutts, America’s Dogs, by Brian Kilcommons.) On the upside, you can take your time to evaluate the dog’s

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HAL LOTT/Herald

ABOVE: Maureen Wortis of Bayfield pets Omega, a female malamute, at Buckley Park in February. LEFT: Ethan Wortis works on the down command with Omega’s sister, Siku. The couple said they worked hard to “parent” the dogs, and did research on the breed, which is commonly smart, willful and affectionate. temperament, energy level and intelligence before choosing. Here are a few suggestions for good matches between breeds common to Durango and personality types. n Active, outgoing people who are willing to devote time to training: German shorthaired pointer, boxer, border collie, Australian shepherd, Jack Russell terrier, Australian cattle dog, German shepherd, Rottweiler. n Moderately active people that will train for the basics: Labrador retriever, golden retriever, giant schnauzer, beagle, airedale. n Super mellow people: Bernese mountain dog, Newfoundland, Great Dane, French bulldog, Cavalier King Charles spaniel. No matter what breed or combination of breeds you choose, training is critical for getting the most out of your dog. A welltrained dog is able to go with you on hike, to a relative’s house or on long vacations with the family. The right dog with the right person plus a bit of training equals a rewarding relationship. Julie Winkelman is a dog trainer and owner of Alpha Canine Academy in Durango.

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 43

FOOD&NUTRITION

Are your

food choices driving you apart?

Durango nutritionist reveals culinary clash in her marriage By Jess Kelley Special to Durango Living

e threw the package of Old El Paso taco seasoning across the kitchen and shouted, “I want the (expletive) MSG!” I’m not kidding. This kind of thing happens at my house. Allow me to paint the culinary-preference scenario that exists between my husband and me. ’Til death did them part, my true love would happily live on La Preferida refried beans, Kirkland bulk cheese and white Mission tortillas. Oh yes, and jalapenos, which are technically a fruit (he looked them up once to prove a point), as are jellybeans (um, grapefruit flavor – hello!). On my side of the moon, vegetables – organic vegetables – comprise half my plate at every meal. I also have a mild to moderate anxiety attack at the mention of non-naturally raised animal products. I am a foodie, not just personally but also professionally. An organic/local/vegetable-loving person, who is also, ahem, gluten-free and a professional nutrition therapist. Yep, he’s screwed. I want Cyprus Café, he wants Taco Bell. When I leave for the weekend, he bolts for a bottle of whiskey and tacos – not, assuredly, wild caught salmon with sautéed leeks and kale topped with a yogurt dill sauce. Do mismatched food choices drive people apart? I see this same he likes/she likes scenario in my office when couples come in together. Let’s be clear: 85 percent of the time, it’s the

wife dragging her husband in kicking and screaming, convinced that I, the healthier-thanthou nutritionist will slap his hand with a ladle and command, “More Dave & Jess Kelley broccoli, you bastard,” while his wife nods and says, “you see, honey?” Problem is, he doesn’t see the problem with bottomless Diet Cokes and Kentucky Fried Chicken and she just wants his cholesterol below 200. He thinks she’s controlling; she thinks he’s stubborn. Sound familiar? First and foremost: Let it go. The most successful couples let each other make their own food choices. Trying to get someone to enjoy vegetables is like trying to make someone enjoy Ani DiFranco when they’re a Metallica fan: right, not happenin’. Don’t despair. Over time, things can change, but only when both parties compromise. A little salad here, a little nachos there. Not to mention you might learn something new, like how great green chile is in just about anything, or that raw food tastes better than hay. Open your mind, and your mouth will follow. The vegan and the carnivore can live happily ever after. Try meeting in the middle. For example, Taco Bell tacos have morphed into James Ranch beef tacos on organic sprouted corn tortillas with cabbage, spicy guacamole, onions, fresh cilantro and a secret sauce. (See recipe, Page 45.) He loves it. I love it. The key is to infuse the undesirable dishes with a half-cup of healthy – yet tasty – in-

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gredients. Every unhealthy food has a clean doppelganger out there: It’s called Google, my friends. Get out your spatulas and start sautéing. Lastly, don’t judge. This is challenging. Rather then huff and puff over cheese puffs or a burger, or a gluten-free pizza, simply, gently, provide a 30-second, fact-based explanation over why you personally don’t want to eat that food and why you don’t want your beloved to eat it, either. Then drop it. I’ve had to learn not to rip candy out of my hubby’s hand, look through the ingredients and go on a 15-minute tirade about all the different poisons in it. It makes him feel bad, and I feel like I have a sprig of rosemary up my butt. Conversely, I’d love it if he didn’t call me a “glue-tard” in front of the wait staff every time we eat out. Work on it. Now, some people’s identity is completely derived from their food choices. You know them: the guy who puts everything in the fryer at parties; the coffee lover who always gushes over how important their morning cup is; or the slightly pale, slightly smelly vegan who knows a heck of a lot more than you ever will, you murderer. Don’t do this. The good news is that if your food choices are driving you apart from your current love interest, there are dating sites dedicated to bringing you closer with a kindred eater. Between www.foodloverspassions.com or www.singleswithfoodallergies.com, dinner for two can be served, online. While your mate or potential mate may not eat spinach, they can still be your Popeye. So laugh, turn up the Metallica, pass the lentil burger and remember that variety is the spice of life.

Marital Bliss Beef Tacos

Recipe by Jess Kelley Serves two & made by two …with leftovers 1 pound James Ranch ground beef (at DNF or Nature’s Oasis) 1 package Simply Organic Taco seasoning (available at health food stores) ½ red onion, diced ¼ purple cabbage, diced 2 carrots, shredded 1 avocado Juice from ½ lime ¼ cup fresh cilantro 1 package Food for Life sprouted corn tortillas Special Sauce: ½ cup Vegenaise 3 tablespoons Sriracha Dash water Juice from ½ lime Optional: 2 glasses Malbec wine (any variety) Person One: Defrost beef and cook in a large skillet. Add seasoning when beef is almost done. Sip wine. Person Two: dice and shred onions, carrots, cabbage and cilantro. Scoop avocado into a small bowl and add cilantro and juice from ½ lime. Stir and sip. Person One: Heat tortillas over open stovetop flame or in oven. Person Two: Mix all special sauce ingredients together and stir until well blended. Light a candle, cheers the wine, and enjoy!

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 45

FOOD&NUTRITION

If you’re going to

woo it, woo it right

Tips and recipes to delight your date by cooking at home By Mike Smedley Special to Durango Living

s they say, consider the source. So when it comes to a story on “wooing” a date with a home-cooked meal, why should anyone believe some guy who was 44 years old when he got married? After all, how good could his cooking be? On the other hand, that’s a lot of candlelit fancyshmancy dinners with which to hone one’s culinary skills. And there’s a lot more to a relationship than a meal. My cooking-for-dates started So, guys, if you inauspiciously in high school. I grew up in Salt Lake City, home want to make of the Mormon faith. From time the perfect date to time, I’d invite prospective meal, don’t girlfriends over for dinner. Armed with a Julia Child grill steak for French Chef cookbook, I’d whip up remarkable meals from a vegetarian, scratch. and don’t whip My dates were miffed. You see, the traditional L.D.S up a cream belief system holds that women sauce for were to be the homemakers. My dates felt threatened and the lactoseintimidated that I could cook intolerant. better than they could – two almost-girlfriends told me so. That and the fact that I sauté with real wine. Come to think of it, it probably was the wine. In any case, a dessert of ripe pears poached in an apricot-blushed vermouth sauce topped with crushed macaroons and baked in butter failed to woo. I learned an important lesson: Know your audience as well as you know your food. So, guys, if you want to make the perfect date meal, don’t grill steak for a vegetarian, and don’t whip up a cream sauce for the lactose-intolerant. Peanuts and shellfish can kill a few people. Some people hate peppers, spinach, arugula, beans or coconut. See Woo, Page 47

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Woo: Continued from Page 46 Ask you dinner date what she’d like. Any allergies? And after that, head immediately to the bathroom. The ideal dinner date begins there. Seriously. Before you attempt to do something creative in the kitchen, take a hard look at the bathroom. Dinner dates last a while, so at some point, your date will need to powder her nose. Nothing will kill a dinner-and-wine buzz faster than a disgusting bathroom. If your W.C. is typically “guy filthy,” how clean is the kitchen? Your date will think, “you didn’t even wash your hands after handling raw poultry!” So, gentlemen: Scrub with formidable chemicals, shine the chrome, put away the dirty magazines in the basket. And that includes Maxims and the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. You can serve pork for dinner, but don’t ever show that you are a pig. Now you can plan the meal. You know, pretty much any recipe will do. Except spaghetti. In the animated film, “Lady and the Tramp,” there’s that cute scene in which the dogs end up eating the

same strand of pasta and come muzzle-tomuzzle. In reality, spaghetti is messy and it splatters easily on your shirt. No matter how carefully you eat spaghetti, you will end up with marinara on your clothes, thus establishing the fact that you are an uncultured troll. Whatever meal you choose, it’s best to do a test run; make the dinner at least once before trying it out on your best gal. If you’ve never cooked with spices before, don’t get creative. Follow the recipe. Then adjust. Also, if you haven’t done a lot of cooking, start out easy. Forget complicated sauces and fussy main courses. Great food starts with great ingredients. Most of the time, less is more. You can’t go wrong with chicken and rice. It’s not too heavy, it’s easy to make and tastes great. (See recipes, Pages 48 and 49.) As a vegetable, grilled fresh asparagus brushed with vinaigrette works wonders, as does a salad of mixed field greens with walnuts and shaved parmesan cheese (the stuff in wedges and not the powdery junk in a green container). Keep dessert light. A sorbet with wafer cookies or a fruit parfait with berries and

mango will end the meal on a high note. What counts in a “wooing meal” is details. Set the table correctly with forks, knives and spoons in the right place. Pull up an image on Google to show where utensils go. Spruce up your plate with color. Use fresh herbs and other garnishes. But remember, the whole point is the food you eat, so a “Denny’s decoration” of twisted orange with parsley cannot save a mediocre meal. And candles. Always have candles at your table. If you serve bread, don’t bother making it. Bread, the great bakery at the top of 32nd Street, makes delicious treats. You’ll never go wrong with a crunchy baguette. And for wine? That’s easy. Just to the Wine Merchant next to Nature’s Oasis, and ask for Ron or Eric, the owners. These guys know wines like no one’s business, and they will select the perfect bottle or two for your meal. These guys are amazing when it comes to wine pairings for any budget. As they say, “bon apetit.” Now clean that bathroom! Mike Smedley, aka Mr. Action Line for The Durango Herald, is a darn good cook. Just ask his wife.

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 47

Mike’s No-Fail Wooing Dinner Prepare in advance:

Salad with Field Greens

Buy a bag of prewashed field greens or spring mix with herbs. Place a handful each on two small plates. Chop a couple of green onions and sprinkle on the salad. Add a couple of fresh tomato wedges on the side. Shave parmesan cheese and add to the top. Sprinkle on whole or chopped walnuts and a few dried cranberries. Cover with clear wrap and put in the fridge. Just prior to serving, dress with the following:

Dijon Vinaigrette

This is about the easiest dressing to make, and flavors can be adjusted to taste. Fresh dressing is vastly superior to the commercial swill sold as bottled dressing. Don’t ever use bottled dressing for anything. You’ll save a ton of money by making your own, too! In a bottle, add one-third cup of red wine vinegar, four tablespoons of balsamic vinegar and a little less than two-thirds cup of good olive oil (first

cold-pressing only). Then add two to three tablespoons Dijon mustard (Grey Poupon is best) and 2 teaspoons of salt-free lemon pepper and dash of lemon juice. Shake prior to drizzling on the salad. Also, prepare the dessert ahead of time:

Berry Parfait with Chocolate-Dusted Cream

Fresh strawberries, blueberries and mango work great together. Chop strawberries and place in a bowl, mix with whole blueberries and pieces of mango. Mix together and spoon into a clear glass. Top with whipped cream. (Make the whipped cream; the stuff in the can is icky.) Then dust with grated dark chocolate and top with a sprig of fresh mint. Set in the fridge to serve later.

Hors d’oeuvres

For hors d’oeuvres, keep it simple and prepare ahead. Serve a small plate of mixed olives (the City Market “Mediterranean Experience” olive bar will work fine; just don’t get olives in a can). Served with fresh, sliced baguette bread.

The main course: LemonGinger Chicken with Jasmine

48 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

Rice and Grilled Asparagus Ingredients: 2/3 cup fresh lemon juice (this will require 5 fresh lemons, grate the peel on one for the rice) 1 tablespoons minced, peeled fresh ginger. (Fresh only – no powder!) 1 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon brown sugar 2 teaspoons dark sesame oil (no, don’t substitute olive or other oil, spring for the good stuff) 8 (3-oz.) skinless, boneless chicken thighs. (Thighs will have more flavor than breasts and are less expensive, thus giving you the funds to buy sesame oil.) Combine first five ingredients in a large plastic bag and add chicken. Twist or seal the bag and marinate in the fridge for at least 15 minutes, up to a half hour. At this point, after the chicken is marinating, prepare the rice. Jasmine is preferred. Now’s about the time for your date to arrive. When she comes in, say hi, pour her a glass of wine and then go outside and light the grill. Prepare the rice. Good rice, such as jasmine, takes about 20 minutes. Follow the recipe on the bag. While the

rice is cooking, wash and trim the asparagus into spears, about three to four inches long; cut off the stalky bottoms and keep the tops. Enjoy hors d’oeuvres. Now take out the chicken and drain the marinade. Place chicken on the hot grill racks coated with oil and grill 5 minutes on each side, until chicken is done. While the chicken is grilling, add the asparagus crosswise on the grill. Brush lightly with your homemade vinaigrette dressing, turning the spears often so they don’t burn. When done, the asparagus will be a bit wilty but still have a nice solid texture. It’ll take about 10 minutes or less. (Turn off the grill!) Time to plate up. Fluff cooked rice with a fork and add some lemon zest. (Lemon zest is basically grated peel; a little will go a long way, so a half-teaspoon is great). Add rice to two plates. With tongs (not your hands!), artfully add asparagus on one side and chicken on the other. Garnish. Take salads out of the fridge and dress lightly with the vinaigrette. Set plates on pre-set table. Light candles and enjoy. Serve dessert. Leave the dishes for morning.

49 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

FOOD&NUTRITION

LEFT: Tuna and Jack Fruit Ceviche, with grape, orange supreme, lemongrass, red onion, scallion and lime juice with shrimp chips, is a feast for the eyes at Golden Triangle Restaurant in Durango. RIGHT: Hydi and Sergio Verduzco, owners of East By Southwest and Golden Triangle, celebrate after Durango Herald readers voted that they had the “Best Restaurant in Durango for a Hot Date.” HAL LOTT photos/ Herald

50 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition

DURANGO’S “BEST RESTAURANT FOR A HOT DATE”

And the winner is... East By Southwest & Golden Triangle By Karla Sluis Durango Living Editor

ergio Verduzco offers proof that his restaurants are romantic: There were three recent engagements at the restaurant – and that was just over Valentine’s Day weekend. “We’ve put a lot of rings on dessert plates over the years,” he said. East By Southwest and its shared space, Golden Triangle, were the clear winners of Durango Living’s “Durango’s Best Res-

taurant for a Hot Date” Contest. Readers responded to ads in The Durango Herald and submitted votes via e-mail through the month of February. The winning restaurants, located on the corner of College Avenue and East Second Avenue, offer Southeast Asian dishes and sushi. Other nominations included Cosmopolitan Restaurant, Randy’s Restaurant, Mutu’s Italian Kitchen and Seasons Rotisserie and Grill. But gushing comments were reserved for the winners: “The atmosphere is great, the food is excel-

lent, and it is convenient for doing anything downtown afterward. I love the place!” “It will definitely get you and your significant other hyped up for a good night.” “That lounge is sooooo sexy!” Verduzco, who owns the two restaurants with his wife Hydi, says sex appeal is a combination of everything. “I’m a firm believer that when people go to dine out now, it’s for a full experience,” he said. “We have pleasant colors, a cosmopolitan look and a clean Asian feel. When the food is good and beautiful, it seals the deal.” See Winner, Page 52

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 51

FOOD&NUTRITION

The lounge at Golden Triangle features warm lighting and golden statues. One voter wrote in that the lounge is “soooooooo sexy.”

HAL LOTT/Herald

Winner:Continued from Page 51 “I’m a firm believer that when people go to dine out now, it’s for a full experience. We have pleasant colors, a cosmopolitan look and a clean Asian feel. When the food is good and beautiful, it seals the deal.” – Sergio Verduzco, co-owner of Golden Triangle & East by Southwest

The colors and textures of food are treated as works of art, such as the colorful ceviche pictured at left. Verduzco said eating sushi and other dishes with the hands creates an intimacy and social atmosphere. “I try to hit all the senses,” he said. The restaurants’ sound system can be adjusted in all different areas of the restaurant. Natural materials and acoustic ceilings help absorb noise, and the addition of the booths at Golden Triangle created small, intimate spaces. East By Southwest has been in business in Durango nine years as of March 15. The Golden Triangle had a one-year anniversary on March 17. Even in a troubled economy, both restaurants are often packed on weekends. Verduzco said he has dropped prices wherever possible without compromising quality. He said the key to surviving during challenging times is to make dining out like a mini-vacation. “People want to escape,” said Verduzco. “They might not eat out as much as before, but it’s like taking good medicine – a panacea. It’s good to forget about your problems for a while in

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beautiful surroundings.” It may be a vacation for patrons, but for the Verduzcos it’s a business that takes effort, attention to detail and a strong dose of mutual respect. The pair has worked together since the day they met at William F. Harrah College of Hotel & Restaurant Administration at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. Their career paths have run a parallel course, with many positions at top-notch properties under their belts. “It’s kind of second nature to us,” said Verduzco. “I won’t deny that it can be difficult at times. But we each have our strengths, and we let the other person do what they do best.” He says his wife takes his weaknesses and fills them in. She’s great with numbers and organizing, and he is more of a creator. “She takes a lot of my visions brings them to fruition.” Verduzco said someone asked him the secret to their partnership and marriage. “I say, if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, just water your grass,” he said, laughing. “You gotta work on it.”

Durango Living Spring Edition • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • 53

Advertising Index A Better You.................................................................13 Absolute Comfort Spa & Pool.....................................35 Alpine Lumber Company............................................53 Amerigas......................................................................56 Animas Trading Company...........................................33 April’s Garden..............................................................33 Bank of Colorado.........................................................45 Bayfield Gardens..........................................................2 Buzztown.....................................................................47 Directory Plus..............................................................17 Durangomenu...............................................................41 Economy Nissan Inc....................................................11 Four Corners Laser & Aesthetics.................................39 Genesis Landscaping...................................................7 Home & Ranch Show..................................................19 Honeyville....................................................................13 Inside Ideas..................................................................43 Kogan Builders, Inc....................................... 5, 45 Ku Tips Nursery...........................................................29 La Plata Electric Association.......................................35 Lewis Mercantile.........................................................48 Little Paradise Landscaping.........................................39 Louisa’s Movie House.................................................54 Mantell-Hecathorn Builders, Inc.................................55 McCormick Tile & Stone.............................................48 Pagosa Mountain Home Company..............................54 Signature Salon & Health Systems..............................7 Sipe Corporation..........................................................5 Sleep-N-Aire................................................................29 Three Springs Properties..............................................15 Town Plaza Merchant Association...............................9 54 • Sunday, March 27, 2011 • Durango Living Spring Edition