December 4, 2009 by Duke Chronicle Print Archives

THE INDEPENDENT DAILY AT DUKE UNIVERSITY

The Chronicle

Duke weighs consulting option Complaints UNC Cornell among peers who have hired Bain Co. prompt RGAC to revise menu &

Will Robinson

THE CHRONICLE

Nicole Kyle THE CHRONICLE

The Residential Group Assessment Committee has decided to revise the section menu for selective living groups beginning in earlyJanuary. The shift follows complaints from the Jnterfratemity Council and the Selective House Council. “This is going to be a collective process between. [IFC, Selective House Council and Campus Council] to make sure, at the end of the day, we have a menu that’s most beneficial for all stakeholders and students—both unaffiliated and affiliated,” said Campus Council President Stephen Temple, a junior. Although the original RGAC scores will remain, there will be changes to where groups can choose to live. The scores determine the order in which SLGs can SEE RGAC ON PAGE 4

LHS to restore Saturday tdeamnq; Pages

When the Board ofTrustees Business and Finance Committee convenes this weekend, its members will be acutely aware of the steps that Duke’s peer institutions are taking to confront the challenge of a recession. Several of those schools have hired external consulting firms, just like a private company would do, to scrutinize management practices and identify ways to save money. The trend-setter for this approach is located only eight miles down the road from Duke. Holden Thorp, chancellor of the University ofNorth Carolina at Chapel Hill, announced last Spring that he would use a gift from an anonymous donor to hire management consulting firm Bain & Company to help UNC cut about $l5O million, or 7.9 percent, of its $1.9 billion operating budget. The donor specifically requested that UNC hire Bain. “Public confidence in the way that universities are managed, is strained,” Thorp said in a video posted on UNC’s Web site after Bain completed its report in July. “I’m proud that Carolina has been ahead of the curve in addressing these concerns this year.” Several weeks later, Bain started working on similar

projects at Cornell University and the University ofCalifornia, Berkeley. When Duke’s Board of Trustees last met in October, the growing trend was a focus of conversation for its Business and Finance Committee. “We did discuss the possibility of bringing in an outside consultant,” professor of biomedical engineering Warren Grill, a faculty representative on the committee, said in an October interview. “I think it’s something we will consider going forward.” But for now, the committee has opted to pursue a “ground up,” “grassroots strategic planning process” that will occur at the level of the University’s individual schools, Grills said. “There’s going to have to be some shared pain at all levels,” he said. The Duke Administrative Reform Team, created in February to identify ways to help the University trim $125 million from its budget over three years, will continue its own efforts to reduce costs. DART is headed by Provost Peter Lange and Executive Vice President Tallman Trask. Trask said in an October interview that members of DART will rely on its existing experience in cost-containment

ontheRECORD "Our aspirations in the last year or two certainly have not declined... but the capability to fund all those aspirations has." —Warren Grill, University Priorities Committee Chair on objectives. See story page 3

SEE CONSULTING ON PAGE 5

2 | FRIDAY, DECEMBER 4,2009

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diaoffers plan to reduce carbon emissions by 2020

port shows major gap Stem cellresearch approved in graduation rates WASHINGTON, D.C. The Obama administration this week approved the first human embryonic stem cells for experiments by federally funded scientists under a new policy designed to dramatically expand government support for one of the most promising butalso most contentious fields of biomedical research. The National Institutes of Health authorized 11 lines of cells produced by scientists at the Children's Hospital in Boston and two lines created by researchers at the Rockefeller University in New York. All were obtained from embryos left over by couples seeking treatment for infertility. "This is a real change in the landscape," NIH Director Francis Collins said.'This is the first down payment on what is going to be a much longer list... that will empower the scientific community to explore the potential of embryonic stem cell research."

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.

Edgar Howe

A new report, WASHINGTON, D.C. billed as one of the most comprehensive studies to date of how low-income and minority students fare in college, shows a wide gap in graduation rates at public four-year colleges nationwide and "alarming" disparities in success at community colleges. The analysis, released Thursday, provides a statistical starting pointfor 24 public higher education systems that pledged two years ago to halve the achievement gap in college access and completion by 2015. Together, the systems represent two-fifths of all undergraduate students in four-year public colleges. The research found that about 45 percent oflow-income and underrepresented minority students entering as freshmen in 1999 had earned bachelor's degrees six years later at the colleges studied, compared with 57 percent of other students.

TODAY IN HISTORY 1973: Pioneer 10reaches Jupiter

India offered a plan NEW DELHI Thursday to unilaterally, slow the pace of its carbon emissions by 2020, and assured lawmakers that the offer does not amount to a sellout of national interests. After a four-hour discussion on climate policy in parliament, Environment Minister Jairam Ramesh said that India's decision to cut emission intensity by 20 to 25 percent—that is, emissions relative to the size of its economy —will not be legally binding or subject to international verification. But he added that, if India were provided with international aid or technology, it was prepared to offer more at the global climate negotiations that are to begin next week in Copenhagen. "Our emissions will go up, but its pace will slow. We are not doing this because of the Copenhagen meeting, but out of

our own national interest," Ramesh said during a parliamentary session in which lawmakers cautioned against succumbing to international pressure. The offer is a marked shift for India, which has argued that the international onus to curtail carbon emissions should be on rich, industrialized countries because their it was their development that was at the root of global warming and because they can more easily afford to take action. Today, however, rapid economic growth and development have made India—a country of more than a billion people—one of the world's top emerging emitters of greenhouse gases; "We did not pollute for the last 200 to 300 years, but will we do it in the next 30 years," Ramesh said."We cannot sit like a frog in the well and say we won't do anything.The world will laugh at us."

CARLA RIVERA/THE LOS ANGELES TIMES

Rochelle Carros, a senior at Cal State Dominguez Hills in Carson, Calif., plead to the Cal State University board earlierthis month. Courses in her program have been cut, and she is not alone. The California State University system—the nation's largest, with 23 campuses and 450,000 students—had its state funding cut by more than half a billion dollarsthis fiscal year.

THE

CHRONICLE

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 4,2009

ACADEMIC COUNCIL

CAMPUS COUNCIL

Committee reviews cost-cutting efforts Saturday by

Zachary Tracer THE CHRONICLE

Warren Grill, chair of the University Priorities Committee and Addy professor of biomedical engineering, presented an update on the committee’s work to the Academic Council Thursday. The committee works to define University and academic priorities in order to help administrators allocate funding. “Our aspirations in the last year or two certainly have not declined... but the capability to fund all those aspirations has,” Grill said. In the next few months, administrators will be making decisions for the next fiscal year about compensation and other priorities at the school and University levels, said Craig Henriquez, Academic Council chair and professor of biomedical engineering and computer science. During the Fall, the committee monitored Duke’s efforts to cut its budget in response to financial difficulties. It has reviewed the Duke Administrative Reform Team’s efforts to cut costs and examined how cuts in theFacilities Management Department have affected the University. “The grounds will not be kept in the splendor that we are used to,” Grill said, adding that faculty offices will be cleaned less frequently, trash cans will not be emptied daily and litter will not be picked up as quickly across the University. Groundskeeping has to be maintained at its current level in the Sarah P. Duke Gardens, at the Hospital and in athletic facilities, he noted. Building temperatures have also been

reduced to about 68 degrees to cut spending, Grill said. “I think that we have largely done the easy things,” he said. “I think the challenges going forward are going to be a little more demanding and we’re going to need to be very prudent.” The committee will also discuss Duke’s administrative structure and the impacts of the faculty early retirement incentive. “It’s prudent to look at our administrative structures and ensure that those are in alignment with our strategic plan,” Grill said. “This will be a big part of what we will try to do in the coming semester.” The committee should ensure that the faculty retirement incentive does not cause more professors to retire than are hired, he said. He noted that efforts to generate additional revenue, such as the creation of new masters programs, have resulted in more students attending Duke. Grill displayed several slides listing the past and future initiatives. Among the issues the committee plans to consider in the Spring are fringe benefit cost containment, “envisioning a smaller Duke” and how auxiliary enterprises such as Dining Services and Residence Life and Housing Services will be budgeted and funded.

In other business: The council approved a proposal submitted by the Fuqua School of Business for a Master of Management in Clinical Informatics degree. The Board of Trustees will vote on the proposal at its meeting this

cleaning to be restored by

Shaoli Chaudhuri THE CHRONICLE

CAROLINE RODRIGUEZ/THE CHRONICLE

Warren Grill, chair of the University Priorities Committee, said Duke needs to be 'very prudent' as it continues to cut costs to close its deficit. weekend. In a closed session that ran for almost an hour, the council continued its discussion of Duke in China, which it also discussed in a closed session at its Nov. 19 meeting. Dr. Sanders Williams, senior adviser for international strategy and senior vice chancellor for academic affairs, led the discussion.

The new year will see the return of Saturday cleanings. At Campus Council’s meeting Thursday night, Bernard Smith, assistant director of housekeeping operations for Residence Life and Housing Services, announced that Saturday cleanings of West and East Campus dormitories will resume Jan. 16. RLHS eliminated the cleanings in August because of significant cuts in housekeeping operations, he said, noting that the number of positions was reduced from 120 to 88 this year. Smith said the decision to bring back Saturday cleanings was a result of a semester of complaints and concerns from students. Following the elimination of Saturday cleanings, RLHS monitored the effects and complaints, ultimately finding it feasible to bring back the old cleaning schedule, Smith said. Starting next semester, 16 housekeeping staff members will be in charge of Saturday cleanings, with six on East and 10 on West. In order to overcome the difficulty of having fewer employees, housekeeping staff will be working with a new “team cleaning concept.” SEE COUNCIL ON PAGE 4

4 | FRIDAY, DECEMBER 4,2009

RGAC from page 1

SLG sections, the “orphan-resident effect,” maintaining an equal distribution in each residence area and select housing. The decision to keep keeping in mind the balance bethe original scores is a reflection of tween non-affiliated and affiliated RGAC’s faith in the RGAC process, students. said Joe Gonzalez, associate dean for “A lot of the priorities that went residential life. into the old menu will remain. The “The RGAC process reflects a primary difference is that there will be more involvement from other great deal ofeffort from a lot of students, and it produced results that stakeholders,” Temple said. When it comes to revising the are very balanced and very accurate in many ways,” he said. “The students menu itself, both IFC and Selective House Council will have signifimanaged the system very well.” The leaders of IFC and Selective cant input, Temple said. It comes House Council approached RGAC down to flexibility and how the and Residential Life and Housing groups are going to divide open Services, who ultimately approved the space selections among IFC, Selecdecision to revise the menu. tive House Council and Campus “We’ve invited the presidents of Council, he added. Campus Council, IFC and Selective Negotiations between the presiHouse Council, among other repdents of Campus Council, IFC and resentatives, to come forward with a Selective House Council, under resolution,” Gonzalez said. RGAC’s leadership, will begin in Once there is a resolution that all January, Pryor said. three groups support, the proposal Gonzalez said he is very excited about the enthusiasm shown by the will be submitted to RLHS. RGAC co-Chair John Pryor, a juthree groups involved and is looking nior, said the decision to revise was forward to seeing the end result. warranted Campus Cquncil released the “The original menu was prepared original menu before Thanksgiving by Campus Council, which represents break. The results sparked concern the student body—we’re simply makfrom both IFC and Selective House ing the process more inclusive,” he said. Council. “It’s important to remember, though, “Basically, [the original menu] that RLHS has its own views on how reverted most sections so they the space should be used and we still wouldn’t get the quality of section need to consider independents.” that distinguishes fraternities from Temple said the new menu will other blocks,” said IFC President Eric differfrom the original but will still Kaufman, a senior. “We’re going to adhere to the Initial priorities set by get together, and literally start from scratch. I have no plans except for Campus Couftcil. These priorities include making making sufe there’s common space sure there are no small pockets of and that more sections are on lower independents stuck between large levels.”

THE CHRONICLE

COUNCIL from page 3 “We’re just doing more with less,” Smith said. RLHS Associate Dean Joe Gonzalez said the reinstitution of Saturday cleanings will incur no additional cost, a factor that played heavily in RLHS’ decision. He added that staff levels during the weekday workdays will be adjustedaccordingly to compensate for the Saturday schedule. Campus Council President

Stephen Temple, a junior, said members were strongly in favor of reinstituting Saturday cleanings.

Students can continue to do their share in keeping the campus clean, Smith said. “Just be more considerate... you’re going to be having your parties Friday nights and that’s fine, but pick up [after] yourself so we don’t have to pick up 400, 500 beer bottles or beer cans,” he said. “Just pick up, that’s all we’re asking.”

In other business After a presentation from LDOC committee members, Campus Council moved to provide $15,000 for the Last Day of Classes. Duke University Union decided to grant a cash allocation of the same amount for LDOC in its meeting Tuesday. Next semester, Campus Council will discuss giving space on Central campus to Panhellenic Association sororities, Temple stlid.

INDU

RAMESH/TH

At Thursday's Campus Council meeting, Campus CouncilPresident Stephen Temple (right) listens to proposals to restore Saturday cleaning in dormitories. RLHS says the decision came after a semester of complaints from students.

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the chronicle

CONSULTING from page 1

system’s been growing like a weed for the now an assistant vice president and controlpast decade.” ler for the University. Walsh also identified the proliferation Walsh’s position involves controlling of federal research regulations, which have the flow of money through the budget, forced universities to hire more employees Trask said. and spend more on resources that ensure Brodhead called Huron a leader in highcompliance with new mandates. Walsh er education consulting, and Walsh said added that Bain “totally missed that piece he worked with about a dozen public and about research” in its UNC report. universities, private Getting down to the including two peer pri“Our collaborative vate schools in the reimplementation process, I believe, will Both Grill and Walsh gion, before coming to Duke five years ago. said Duke can leain from be far Bain’s work at other Many higher education experts have Timothy Walsh, schools, despite the fact identified administrathat Berkeley and UNC assistant vice tive growth and buare publicly funded. “Universities are reaucratic bloat, parthe University controller universities,” Walsh ticularly in places like said. “We’ve dissected studten.t services, as one of the primary reasons for universities’ every word of the Bain study at Carolina.” financial struggles. Public schools face pressure from taxpayers, but Duke still faces a large dose of what Between 2002 and 2006, the level ofeducational spending for classroom instruction Walsh called “internal pressure,” largely from decreased across the board while spending its deansand its donors. But Duke administrators are confident in other areas such as student services, administration and maintenance increased, they can do the same work as an outside according to a January 2009 report by The consultant. Cooperation between the TrustDelta Project on Postsecondary Education ees, the administration and the faculty have Costs, Productivity and Accountability. led to a successful cost-cutting formula so The issue goes beyondjust student growth, far, Grill said. Walsh said, noting that research spending “We’ve applied the exact same methodhas been a large area of expansion at Duke. ology that a Bain or a Boston Consulting “The administration grows not just to Group or a Huron would use,” Walsh said. support the students... research being’one “Our collaborative process, I believe, will be of the biggest factors,” he said. “The health far better in achieving savings... simply beformerly of Huron Consulting Group and

measures to replicate the expertise that an outside company like Bain would provide. Trask noted that Vice President for Human Resources Kyle Cavanaugh worked in a similar capacity during his time at the University of Florida. “It didn’t make sense to me that I’d pay

millions of dollars when I had the in-house

talent,” Trask said. The services offered by a firm like Bain are indeed .expensive. Berkeley’s Chancellor Robert Birgeneau has said that the school’s agreement with the company will cost Berkeley $3 million. “If we could save $3O, $4O, $5O million for an investment of $3 million, I’d be estatic,” Birgeneau told The New York Times last month. “I’m a physicist, not an expert on organizational structures. But I believe we can be more efficient.” At Cornell, Provost Kent Fuchs initially planned to conduct his own budget review aimed at cutting costs and trimming fat from the school’s bureaucratic structures. “When I decided I wasn’t personally involved in a number of those areas, I realized we needed professional support,” he told The Cornell Daily Sun in August. Fuchs declined to comment for this story. Although Duke has not contracted a similar service, both Trask and President Richard Brodhead have pointed to the same person who fills a role similar to that of an external consultant: Timothy Walsh,

better”

president/

for

cause we know the place so much better.” Walsh said DART and its contributors have far better internal knowledge of Duke, and will never enact cost-cutting measures that interfere with the University’s central educational mission. It can be easy for outsiders to identify places to cut costs when they are not responsible for the implementation of those cuts, Walsh said, noting that he will oversee Duke’s cost reduction measures through to completion. “The implementation is the hard part,” he said. “UNC will have a very hard time implementing [some of Bain’s recommendations].”

Bain’s work at UNC and other schools has drawn skepticism from students, alumni and faculty members alike. “They think the budget realignment process has been taken out of the hands of academic administrators who will be continuously conscious of the mission of the university and the needs of the academic faculty, and placed in the hands of consultants who are outsiders,” Lange said. Walsh said he hopes the Trustees will continue to consider bringing in outside professionals, and he noted that the University frequently hires external consultants to examine specific departments. He said he expects the Board to discuss the option at all future meetings, and would welcome the help of external consultants if Trustees do decide to go that route. “I’d be thrilled to have more resources,” he said. Lindsey Rupp contributed reporting

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TRUSTEES from page I Chair and Democratic state Sen. Dan Blue, Law ’73, said he is confident Duke is on track to meet its budgetary goals. He added that the Trustees will continue to stay informed about cost-cutting methods, including decentralized layoffs. “The Business and Finance Committee will probe that, I’m sure... and the entire Board will be interested in that,” Blue said. “As you know, there is no policy to have a reduction in force using [large-scale] tactics. Duke is a decentralized campus in many ways... we discussed that again and thought at one point as this recession got deeper and deeper that we had all kinds of options available to us and [mass layoffs] is not the one that we chose.” Blue also said the Board will review the project definition for K4, the proposed fourth wing of Keohane Quadrangle. The basic inside design has been completed, Trask said. The Board is considering two candidates to fill the unexpired terms of Rev. Charles Smith, Trinity ’62 and Divinity ’65, and Dr. Lewis “Rusty” Williams, Ph.D. ’77 and Medicine ’7B. The approved candidates will take their

positions in July 2010, Blue said. Smith will have reached the mandatory retirement age of 70 years old and Williams chose to retire before the expiration of his term to pursue other things, Blue added. To fill an unexpired term, the Board may vote to approve candidates and bypass the traditional Trustee approval process, said Michael Schoenfeld, vice president for public affairs and government relations. The Board will also discuss how national health care reform could affect the University and the Duke University Health System, Blue said. In addition to discussing the future of the University health plan for employees, Trask said the Trustees will engage in discussions already taking place in DUHS about potential health care reform scenarios. “Duke is not a minor player in this, [Dr. Victor Dzau, chancellor for health affairs and president and chief executive officer of DUHS,] is very involved at the national level of what health care ought to look like,” Blue said. “We are a major player in the region and nation, so how this regulation impacts Duke will be very representative of how this will impact a lot*of other institutions as well.”

CHRONICLE

CHINA from pagel in Kunshan would provide a minimum 20-year free lease and free utilities for five years and probably be “free in perpetuity,” the slideshow presentation states. The Kunshan government will also provide money and help Duke start its programs and “create a tax exempt entity able to deliver all activities except local Chinese degree programs,” which would “put us on an equal footing with Chinese universities, never been done before by a U.S. school,” the document states. Shanghai Jiao Tong University would be involved in faculty hiring, post-doctorate training and in partnering with Duke on activities—including sponsoring Fuqua’s financial and professional services activities in Shanghai, the presentation states. Although Blue said Fuqua initiated the partnership with China, the site in Kunshan could house many more Duke programs in the future Blue -I said the Kunshan facilities will be built large enough to accommodate potential programs from other Duke schools on an experimental basis, but with no obligation for Duke to create other programs there. Other schools and institutes that could sponsor future programs in China include the Nicholas School of the Environment, the Pratt School of Engineering, the Sanford School ofPublic Policy, the School ofLaw and some undergraduate experiences like DukeEngage or study abroad, Blue said. This first phase has no direct cost to the University, so continued financial support from Chinese players —primarily the government —will be key to the future success ofDuke’s plans, Blue noted. Blue emphasized that the only portion ofDuke’s plan in China the Trustees will discuss this weekend is the Fuqua phase. The Board will not discuss the second phase of the program, which would include experimental graduate programs and eventually undergraduate experience. There is “still a lot of work to be done” in considering expanding Duke’s presence in China, Blue said. The University and the Board will analyze many concerns before committing to further plans in China, including the effect overseas programs could have on education quality in Durham, financial stainability and cultural differences. Still, Blue said a presence in China fits with Duke’s international goals. “Duke, like the other universities that aspire to be world class, recognize that they need to have a presence in China,” Blue said. “If we’re going to get the best students, the best resources, the best faculty, we decided a long time ago we needed to be a player in the world.”

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INSIDE

1 The Chronicle

oDort

ONUNE

FRIDAY December 4,2009

WOMEN'S BASKETBALL

Thomas delivers knockout blow 83

((*‘3l

Find out how Duke shut down Ohio State and its best player in the post More insight and more pictures from Duke Basketball's loss to Wisconsin

in 67

Junior’s 29 points 9 production from bench keys late run to give Blue Devils marquee win by

Nicholas Schwartz THE CHRONICLE

In a nonconference battle that more closely resembled a late March prize fight, Duke got a good look at a potential NCAA tournament favorite. After an evenly matched first period, No. 11 Duke (6-1) made all the necessary hustle plays in the second half, forcing 21 Buckeye turnovers overall, and rode a career-high 29 points from guard Jasmine Thomas to a signature 83-67 win over No. 3 Ohio State. Duke’s physical defense and extra effort from the opening tip prevented the Buckeyes from establishing any sort of offensive rhythm, and held a high-octane offense to a season-low point total. Ohio State (8-1) entered the game Thursday night as the third-highest scoring team in the nation, averaging 89.4 points per contest. The first half was closely contested, with each team missing opportunities to separate itself. Despite forcing 12 turnovers in the first period, the Blue Devils were often unable to convert defense into offense, only shooting 41.9 percent from the field. Just five minutes into the game, senior forward Joy Cheek got tangled up with a defender when positioning herself for a pass and had to leave the game with an apparent left ankle injury. Without one key rebounder in the post, junior Krystal Thomas and freshman Allison Vemerey were tasked with handling a stout Ohio State frontcourt, led by 6-foot-4 center Jantel Lavender. With an impressive array of post moves, Vernerey took advantage of shaky interior

defense from the Buckeyes, scoring a quick eight points off the bench in the first half. Duke’s bench outscored Ohio State’s reserves 28-2 Thursday night. Cheek’s rebounding ability was missed, however, as Ohio State outrebounded the Blue Devils 23-14 in the first period. By taking advantage of offensive rebounds with five second-chance points in the first half, the Buckeyes were able to stay within striking distance, down only four points at the break. Ohio State came out firing in the second half, and two straight threes by guard Brittany Johnson—part of a 14-6 Buckeye run to begin the period —tied the game at 33. After Thomas and Ohio State guard Tayler Hill traded 3-point shots to make it 45-44 Duke, the Blue Devils made a visible effort to play more aggressively on defense and fight for rebounds in the post. After being outrebounded by nine in the first half, Duke slimmed the deficit to just five in the second period to go along with seven blocks and 11 steals. “I think we didn’t react well to their physical play,” Ohio State coach Jim Foster said. “They came after us and we didn’t respond.” The Blue Devils began a decisive run with 5:35 left to play in the game when Jasmine Thomas curled off a screen and buried a three from the right side to make it 69-61. Thomas wouldgo on to score five more points as part of a 12-0 Duke run that stretched the lead to 78-61 with just over three minutes remaining. Thomas torched the Buckeyes with 24 second-half points, many of which came from incisive drives to the bucket. “I noticed I was rushing my shots a little

ANDREW ZHENG/THE

bit in the beginning, so I decided to attack the basket in the second half,” she said. The Duke guard erupted for 29 points, breaking a career-high mark of 26 she set earlier this year against Texas A&M. Thomas stole an Ohio State inbound pass with 46

MEN'S BASKETBALL

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No. 6 Duke vs. St. John's

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CHRONICLE

Junior JasmineThomas continued her stretch ofAll-American play with a career-high 29 points Thursday night. seconds remaining to cap a stellar second half defensive performance and seal an upset win in the Big Ten/ACC Challenge in front of a spirited home crowd. “That’s the kind of game I came here for,” Vernerey said.

VOLLEYBALL

nee..

jr, -

Blue Devils

hope to upset Duke puts loss in rearview mirror host Volunteers Cameron Indoor Stadium

•

Saturday 3:30 p.m. ESPN2 •

•

Jason Palmatary THE CHRONICLE

Sometimes when a team goes on the road and takes one on the chin in a hostile environment, the quickest remedy can be to get back to its home arena and correct its flaws against a lesser opponent. That situation is the exact one before No. 6 Duke (6-1) as it returns to the friendly confines of Cameron Indoor Stadium to take on a St. John’s squad with a deceptive undefeated record early in the season. The Red Storm (6-0) hasn’t been particularly impressive against a paltry nonconference schedule, as its largest margin of victory has been just 13 points. One of those victories was a three-point squeaker at home against Brown Nov. 20. In the preseason, St. John’s was ranked 11th out of 16 teams in the Big East. But regardless of its early competition, the Red Storm has. yet to post a loss, and if the Blue Devils learned anything from their misstep against unranked Wisconsin, it is that they cannot take any opponent lightly. “We learned a lot. There is a lot we can take away from this game,” Jon Scheyer said after the loss to the Badgers. SEE M.

BBALL ON PAGE 12

Duke’s long ride in the ACC is finally over, and now, the Blue Devils kick off what they hope will be a long journey in the NCAA tournament. After 20 conference matchups —including 17 wins—unseeded Duke (27-5) opens postseason play Friday at 7 p.m. against Tennessee in Knoxville, Tenn. The Volunteers are also not seeded, but lenn. their campus is being used as one % vs ‘ of 16 host sites for the tournament’s first round, meaning that Tennes[|Qul Duke see has the advantage of playing in front of its home crowd tonight. FRIDAY, 7 p.m. The Blue Devils and Volunteers Knoxville, Tenn. are two of four tennis playing their first-round contests in Knoxville. The others are No. 11 Minnesota and Louisville, who meet Friday as well, and the winners of the two games.will meet Saturday for a spot in the Round of 16. The second-round match is set for Saturday. Duke has advanced past the first round of the NCAA tournament in its last four appearances.

C(23-7) •

Andre Dawkins hopes to continue establishing himself as a productive player for Duke against St. John's Saturday at Cameron Indoor Stadium.

—-from staffreports

THE CHRONICLE

8 I FRIDAY, DECF.MBER 4,2009

WOMEN'S SOCCER: SEASON IN REVIEW

Duke perseveres past several injury setbacks by

Nicholas Schwartz

next season. It was

THE CHRONICLE

After a 2-0 defeat at the hands of No. 12 ranked Rutgers, a roller coaster season came to a close for a depleted and exhausted Blue Devil squad. Though Duke was bounced from the NCAA tournament at an earlier stage than in any other tournament team during head coach Robbie Church’s tenure, the Blue Devils have reason to celebrate a sixth-place finish in the toughest conference in the country. Duke was forced to overcome a turbulent pre-conference season that saw a number of first-team players lost for the year to injuries. Kim DeCesare, an incoming freshmen pegged to start, suffered an ACL tear before even stepping onto the field at Koskinen Stadium, starting what seemed to be an epidemic in the locker room. “It was very challenging early in the year every week it seemed we were losing a major player in our program,” Church said. All in all, Duke lost five potential starters for the 2009 season, including senior captain Sarh Murphy and defender Ashley Rape, a 2008 All-ACC Freshman Team honoree. Faced with a challenging schedule early on, Church was forced to rely on a group of talented, yet still unproven freshmen to fill the void, especially on defense. After the midseason switch to a more defensive-minded 4-4-2 formation, Duke started five freshmen: midfielder Nicole Lipp, fullbacks Erin Koballa and Maddy Haller, centerback Libby Jandl and goalkeeper Tara Campbell. “We had to have a number of freshmen step in and play, and we had only seen them for a month,” Church said. “I almost just wanted to shut it down and look forward to

demoralizing.”

A young Blue Devil squad performed admirably for Church, and even forced thenNo.l North Carolina into overtime on the road. The freshmen’s play, combined with the exemplary leadership provided by the Blue Devil seniors, rejuvenated the team halfway through the year, propelling Duke to a .500 record in the ACC and a berth in the NCAA tournament for the seventh straight season.

“The seniors could have been the first ones to give in, but they’re the ones who kept the team together through all the injuries and kept us motivated,” Church said. The Blue Devils were led by their onfield general, midfielder Elisabeth Redmond. Already a three-time All-ACC selection, Redmond’s consistently stellar play anchored the Duke offense. With 12 assists on the year, Redmond led the ACC for the

—

ROB

STEWART/CHRONICLE FILE PHOTO

Freshmen Tara Campbell (in green), Nicole Lipp (10) and Libby Jandl(3) all contributed heavily forDuke this year.

second time in her career. Her 87 career points place fourth all-time in Duke history,

while her 35 assists are second all-time. Kay Anne Gummersall’s scoring touch also landed her in the record books this season, as she lead the team with 11 goals, the genesis of which often came from Redmond. The senior striker finished her career at Duke with 34 goals, fifth-most in Blue Devil history. Though less apparent in the stat sheets, senior midfielderJane Alukonis provided the youngest Blue Devils with much-needed guidance on and off the pitch. Alukonis, a fouryear starter, was one of four captains, along with Redmond, Gummersalland Murphy. While the onslaught of injuries crippled Duke’s chances of reaching the Elite Eight for the third consecutive year, the youngest Blue Devils were able to gain valuable playing time against ACC opponents. Five Duke freshmen played in at least 19 games in 2009, and Church expects the on-field experience to correlate into success in the future. “There’s a great base for us in 2010,” Church said. “We’re going to have a high number of players coming back, a lot ofexperience and some really talentedyoung players.” With the return of proven players like Rape and defender Molly Lester, along with the expected emergence of DeCesare, many players will be able to return to their more natural positions in 2010, after having to switch positions in order to accommodate injuries this year. If capable players like winger Cody Newman and forward Chelsea Canepa can make up for the lost production from Redmond and Gummersall next year, theBlue Devils are confident they can return to the top of the ACC next fell.

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THE

commentaries

CHRONICLE

The cost of unrivaled ambition

•a

ment’s dwindling reserve funding, In fact, for several years, as both the department’s budget they are striking. In fiscal year 1995-1996, and the size of the University the department’s operat- subsidy have increased, defting budget totaled $lB cit spending has become the norm million. And Now, the editorial in the current University is fiscal year, the department’s budget is trying to close a $125 million deficit in its general $60.3 million. Based on these figures, operating budget with, the athletics department among other mechanisms, does not turn a profit for the early retirement packages for employees, cuts to acaUniversity. demic department fundIn May 2008, the Univerdecided to increase the ing and reductions in facsity annual subsidy paid from ulty hiring. the University’s central fund Large-scale layoffs are bethe athletics to department ing avoided at all costs, alfrom $7.2 million to $l5 though Executive Vice Presimillion. Even then, in fiscal dent Tallman Trask has said year 2008-2009, expenses that layoffs may well become exceeded revenue by almost necessary in anticipation of $1 million, and that deficit fiscal year 2010-2011. But while the University is was covered by the depart-

In the case of Duke’s Department of Athletics, the numbers tell the story, and

Ipersonally think it’s a bit sad when great universities feel compelled to become an athletics/entertainment business and, to varying degrees, lose sight of the mission of a university. —“Duke-affiliate” commenting on the story “Athletics’ growth provokes debate.” See more at www.dukechronicle.com.

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LETTERS POLICY The Chroniclewelcomes submissions in the form ofletters to the editor or guest columns. Submissions must include the author’s name, signature, department or class, and for

Direct submissions to E-mail: chronicleletters@duke.edu Editorial Page Department The Chronicle Box 90858, Durham, NC 27708 Phone: (919) 684-2663 Fax: (919) 684-4696

purposes of identification, phone number and local address, letters should not exceed 325 words; contact tire editorial department for information regarding guest columns. The Chronicle will not publish anonymous or form letters or letters that are promotional in nature. The Chronicle reserves the right to edit letters and guest columns for length, clarity and style and the right to withhold letters based on the discretion of the editorial page editor.

The Chronicle

Inc. 1993

WILL ROBINSON, Editor HON LUNG CHU, Managing Editor EMMELINE ZHAO, News Editor

GABE STAROSTA, Sports Editor

MICHAEL NACLERIO, PhotographyEditor SHUCHIPARIKH, Editorial Page Editor MICHAEL BLAKE, Editorial Board Chair ALEX KLEIN, Online Editor JONATHAN ANGIER, General Manager LINDSEY RUPP, University Editor SABREENA MERCHANT, Sports Managing Editor JULIUS JONES, Local & National Editor JINNY CHO, Health & ScienceEditor COURTNEY DOUGLAS, News PhotographyEditor ANDREW HIBBARD, Recess Editor EMILY BRAY, Editorial Page Managing Editor ASHLEY HOLMSTROM, Wire Editor CHARLIE LEE, Design Editor CHELSEA ALLISON, Towerview Editor EUGENE WANG, Recess Managing Editor CHASE OLIVIERI, Multimedia Editor ZACHARYKAZZAZ, Recruitment Chair TAYLOR DOHERTY, Sports Recruitment Chair MARY WEAVER, Operations Manager BARBARA STARBUCK, Production Manager

ZACHARY TRACER, University Editor JULIA LOVE, Features Editor TONI WEI, Local & NationalEditor ' RACHNA REDDY, Health & Science Editor lAN SOILEAU, Sports PhotographyEditor AUSTIN BOEHM, Editorial Page Managing Editor REBECCA WU, Editorial Page Managing Editor NAUREEN KHAN, Senior Editor DEAN CHEN, Lead Developer BEN COHEN, TowerviewEditor MADDIE LIEBERBERG, Recess PhotographyEditor LAWSON KURTZ, TowerviewPhotographyEditor CAROLINE MCGEOUGH, Recruitment Chair ANDY MOORE, Sports Recruitment Chair CHRISSYBECK, Advertising/Marketing Director REBECCA DICKENSON, Chapel Hill Ad Sales Manager ■

The Chronicle is published by the Duke Student Publishing Company, Inc., a non-profit corporation independent ofDuke University. The opinions expressed in this newspaper are not necessarily those ofDuke University, its students, faculty, staff, administration or trustees. Unsigned editorials represent the majority view editorial board. Columns, letters and cartoons represent the views of theauthors. To reach the Editorial Office at 301 Flowers Building, call 684-2663 or fax 684-4696.T0reach the Business Office at 103 West Union Building, call 684-3811 .To reach the Advertising Office at 101 West Union Building call 684-3811 or fax 684-8295. Visit The Chronicle Online at http://www.dukechronicle.com. O 2009 The Chronicle, Box 90858, Durham, N.C27708. All rights reserved. Nopart of this publication may be reproduced In any formwithout the prior, written permission of the Business Office Each Individual is entitled to one free copy

of the

nothing.

For it appears that al-

though the department has

have ballooned in recent received more and more years, without comparable inmoney from the University to creases in its revenues. Far from laying out a help fund substantial increases in facilities, scholarships _plan to reduce its budget, and coaches’ salaries, the the department’s 2008 straUniversity has not acquired tegic plan, “Unrivaled Amany leverage over the athletics bition,” in fact called for a larger University subsidy department in return. The University now finds and massive renovations to itself inexplicably unable almost every athletic facility on campus. to demand major cuts to The real blame, however, the athletics department’s does a time of not lie with the athletics general budget in department for wanting to scarcity. As a consequence, the spend money. It lies with the UniverUniversity is funding the athletics department’s largesse sity for failing, over the long term, to rein in the steadily with money that could directly be used to fill crucial increasing cost of athletics to faculty openings or prop up Duke. During the recession, this failure of oversight has the Multicultural Center actions that are central to the become an even more clear failure of. priorities, which mission of the University. should be corrected as soon The Department of Athletics is in part to blame for as possible. At the very least, this state of affairs. Its costs it should be explained. —

The fundamental problem

onlinecomment

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in the middle of implementing sophisticated, difficult and wide-ranging budget reductions in response to the recession, the athletics department is trimming fat from its extravagant budget by reducing media luncheons and printing costs. Revenues to the department are down by about 7 or 8 percent, but costs have only been cut by about 5 percent In a paltry piece of windowdressing, the University subsidy was cut to $14.5 million. In short, the athletics department has come to depend on the University to support its extravagant spending. And when the University needs to save every dime it can, and every sector of the University is sacrificing, the athletics department is cutting next to

space requirements on West Campus. In that olitics at its heart is a delicate balance between preslight, living groups and Campus Council took a ervation an large step backward by calling the RGAC process into question. A metric designed to ensure fair destruction: mainliving conditions and reasonable contributions tain the things from living groups on campus is now in danger that work and reof collapsing under the weight of its entrenched place those that opponents. don’t in an effort Consider that when Interfraternity Counto forge more percil members complain that the RGAC selection fect systems. As we mike meers process is “unfairly tailored to the missions of a all learn from obfew groups,” they are exactly right. Maintenance the federal mike check serving of a clean section and reasonable living environgovernment, probwhen ment for surrounding dorm inhabitants should lems arise individuals aquire a bias that is no longer the best be non-negotiable obligations. If some fraternities can’t find away to reconcile their extracurricular outcome for all. The deadliest vice of a functional as a means activities with these basic and ideally universal redemocracy is the stall tactic, employed to obstruct needed change for the sake of more sponsibilities, then it should be no surprise that specialized interests. Unfortunately, there’s been the RGAC process has no place for them. The funa lot recendy in the way of painstaking political damental problem is that few living groups care enough about the RGAC to exert the effort necesstubbornness on many levels and in many organizations. sary to abide by its stipulations. These are conflicts that are shadows of the sort Consider examples from the last two weeks at of stick-in-the-mud tactics that may conspire to Duke. When Duke Student Government ever accumulates measurable legislative progress in a doom federal health care reform from both sides of the aisle in Congress. Though the House bill process directly relevant to student affairs, its leaders should feel proud that the system has served its passed with a slim margin, the Senate is likely to students. Yet that was not the case last week when pose a gauntlet ofits own, with some senators pubthe Young Trustee reform bill was uncompromislicly vowing to reject reform in its entirety on the veto last basis of legislation containing or lacking a public of presidential ingly expunged byway month. Though slightly less mean-spirited than option. With a general consensus on the need for some sort of change to the current system no matformer DSC president Jordan Giordano’s executive smackdown of“East Campus Gardening Day” ter the style, outright refusal to participate in the process is foolish and insulting. this past Spring, President Awa Nur’s swift dismissal of recommendations compiled from over Of course, with voters tuned in to ideological a month of debate and open forum suggestions is purity more than ever, it is nearly impossible for legislators to engage in real debate forged through short-sighted at best. Nur has forcibly injected herself into a process compromise and meeting each other halfway that by her own admittancedeserves freedomfrom without being perceived as “weak” for stepping DSG executive intervention. This seems more like back on key ideological issues. The fundamental a personal move to prevent something potentially problem is that few legislators care enough to risk bad from happening on her watch- than a conpolitical backlash in order to fight for fundamenscious effort to bring the “right” type of change. tal, game-changing reform of the current system, The result: postponement until an equally flawed even as it is widely agreed that the status quo is amendment was pushed through, implementing unacceptable. The picture looks bleak all around. Though a student vote that will likely see even less turnout than the current sorry state of DSG elections. The would characterize myself as a general optimist, it fundamental problem is that few involved parties is difficult to have a sunny oudook when political care enough about the best process for selecting infighting echoes all the way from the Bryan Center to the halls of the Capitol. As it stands now, it makes the Young Trustee to sacrifice time or reputation achieve and fairness. more sense at all levels for offending parties to simto transparency Political inanity again reared its ugly head Nov. ply drag their feet and wait it out. Perhaps the best we can do is to wait ourselves, hoping that the stall19 when whining about low scores prompted adCouncil and the Residential ing game may wear out its welcome over time. ministrators, Campus Group Assessment Committee to agree to postMike Meers is a Trinity senior. This is his pone the process. The adminstration has repeatneed to reform column general living edly expressed the of the semester.

find

THE

CHRONICLE

No to term papers 44 I

ve got a to cram for my BME 83 final,” Pratt says to I Trinity over burgers at the Loop, “When’s your paper due?” X “Next Monday,” replies Trinity. Thank God it’s a term paper and not a final exam, thinks Trinity. Or at least, should think After finals are over, Pratt and Trinity are likely to share a similar bewilderment of not having retained much from their courses. Only for Pratt, it’s cramming for an exam. For Trinity, it’s a protracted term paper completed not by deep sea diving, but by spurts of hydroplaning across the material’s surface courtney nan Writing a term paper today could the good life? hardly be called advanced learning. But it’s not really our fault either. What denigrates the intellectual rigor of the undergraduate academic paper is the übiquity of analyzed informationavailable online and the revisions-for-dummies built into today’s word processors. In “Phaedrus,” Plato recounted Socrates’s fear that writing would rob men of their memory. By transferring knowledge in their minds onto paper, men would adopt “the conceit of wisdom instead of real wisdom,” and “receive a quantity of information without proper instruction.” Although we now know Socrates’s concern is unfounded; there is something to .be said about the erosion of our memory. Retaining facts is something of a lost art now, easily substituted by the Internet, with its remarkable capacity to capture some twenty centuries ofadvanced thought at the click of a mouse. Playwright Richard Foreman laments the loss of our “inner repertory of dense cultural inheritance” in a recent web publication of the British science and technology think tank Edge Foundation, Inc. Alluding to Socrates, he imagines “pancake people,” stretched thin by too much information too readily available in his play “The Gods are Pounding My Head!” Foreman’s “pancake people” may too well refer to the 21st-century man, or college student, as the case may be. One wonders if the process of building a “complex, dense and ‘cathedral-like’ structure” of a self-made liberal arts education has become replaced by the convenience of the Internet. We can still construct the cathedral-like structure that Foreman refers to with universally-accessible information on the Web if we are forced to interpret it in new forms; The Internet gives us knowledge—fast. And to quote Sir Francis Bacon via the paraphrased Latin truism, scientia potential est, “knowledge is power.” How we use that knowledge, however, is a different notion altogether. Knowledge, as organic matter, nourishes new growth of something more synthesized, something more commonly known under the Genus Analysis in the college context. Microsoft Word subverts the natural conversion process of that readily available knowledge into new growth. Just imagine how much one can revise information into new shapes, like gluing together pieces into a convincing model of time-earned ideas. The power of word processing is rather astounding when one thinks abouthow writing used to be done—yes, by hand, in notebooks (gasp!). On the increasingly rare occasion that we encounter such a writer today, like the Turkish Pulitzer Prize-winning author Orhan Pamuk, the idea astounds us by its novelty. To be clear, I’m not harboring some archaic nostalgia for handwritten term papers. Typing is good if not for its speed, then undoubtedly for its cleanliness and ability to help us streamline our thoughts. After Friedrich Nietzsche bought a Malling-Hansen Writing ball, his first typewriter, a friend commented that his writing had become tighter. When we begin to think of ourselves typewriting, the way, say, Cormac McCarthy wrote “The Road” and “No Country for Old Men” exclusively on a 1958 Olivetti, it seems laughable to imagine ourselves clacking away in Perkins elbows deep in globs of white-out That McCarthycould write great American novels without Shift+F? is enough to make us shake our heads at the whimsy of a world before MS Word’s thesaurus. With SparkNotes and time to revise, students in courses with term papers are less likely to invest in gaining knowledge from the classroom. Seduced by Web shortcuts, they are more likely to stave off readings until days before a paper deadline. In that brief window, they have the luxury to play around with words until information takes the shape of something original. There may be an easy solution: If professors really want to make their students think and cultivate analysis throughout the semester instead of in the last two weeks of finals, they should enforce timed paper exams or hold written exams in class, and increase the importance ofclass participation during the semester. That would not only save students the agony of learning the history of political thought from 1700 to 1875 in the span of two weeks, it might motivate them to invest more in helping to preserve and contribute to the “dense cultural heritage” we’ve been handed down over the years. Not to mention make us more interesting and in-

sightful.

Courtney Han is a Trinity senior. This is herfinal column of the semester.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 4,2009

commentaries

I 11

ettertotheedito Union workers are burden to Duke Dining Duke Dining has a problem, and it is not the $2 million deficit. Instead of coercing students to spend their food points at non-contracted establishments, why doesn’t the University identify why these particular venues have become so unattractive. It is my belief that many in the administration have done so, but either those voices are suppressed or they are too afraid to publicize their findings. What do all of the non-contracted venues, the Marketplace, the Great Hall, Subway, Chik-fil-A and Trinity Cafe, have in common? Two words: Local 77. Unionized workers staff only and all of these eateries. This can only mean that the Dining deficit is a product of the union’s absurdly bloated contracts, including designed impediments to any disciplinary action and bizarre provisions allowing workers to skip work at will. Despite unnecessarily increasing the Dining deficit, these contracts make it nearly impossible for the Bon Appetit Management Company to police their employees. Not surprisingly, the administration forces Bon Appetit to hire these unionized workers just as they are planning to force us

their workplaces. Bon Appetit is a great management company. Its staff works tirelessly to respond to student needs and improve the dining experience, however, union workers drastically burden the service of their venues. I don’t have to tell you how bad that service really is. It seems that every Duke students has a dining “horror story” from one of these establishments. In fact, I often have my politically astute friends guess which campus eateries are run by union employees. Rarely do the Marketplace, the Great Hall and Subway go unmentioned. Interestingly, as sales data confirm, these also rank high on the “least favorite” and “worst service” lists. It is not fair to the management company to dictate who they can hire and oh what terms they can “manage” them. Nor is it fair to require students to spend their money on food and service that they so clearly do not want. Let the management company manage however they wish, and let the students eat wherever they wish! to eat at

Jake Bullock

Trinity ’ll

Ignition (Remix)' is the best song of the decade

the Aughts near their inevitable end, I’ve chosen to write about the masterpiece that will surely go down as the best song of the decade: “Ignition (Remix)” by R. Kelly. Even on a purely aesthetic level, the verdict is clear. As soon as the silk-smooth delivery of the introductory incantation of“Now SfSSS usually I don’t do this but uh...” seeps through the stereo speakers on a Friday night, your troubles nathan freeman

good„igh.. and good luck

are also sippin’ coke and rum, by the time the triumphant rally cry of“It’s the freakin’ weekend baby imma ‘bout to have me some fun!” comes along, your problems will dissipate into the hazy blur that’s absorbing the dance floor. But the mechanisms at play within the recording make it infinitely more than just the perfect example of a feel-good party song. First of all, the conceptual elements of the song dutifully encapsulate the pre-recession boom that will act as a counterpoint to the economic downturn of this decade’s second half. Even better, the context that Kelly chooses to couch the song in—the conceit that not only is this the “remix” to a song entitled “Ignition,” but also a song about the remix to a song entitled “Ignition”—makes the track a textbook example of self-referential expression, illustrating how a piece of art can become doubly rich when there is a subtle but effective reminder that a work’s content is inextricable from the style in which it is presented—or that, as my existentialist cinema professor is wont to say, “All great art is about what it is about.” Grab your iPhone and click down to the song; at about a minute in, you’ll realize that there’s a lot going on there. The first hint that Kelly is reppin’ some serious poststructuralist self-commentary is the address to the invisible entity that will, if it abides by Kelly’s request, “go ‘head and break ‘em off wit a ‘lil piece of the remix.” One can assume that the “'em” refers to us, the listeners, who will now be privy to a “piece” of the remix to the original version of “Ignition” (which appears immediately before “Ignition (Remix)” on Kelly’s 2003 album Chocolate Factory), but it is unclear as to whom Kelly is directing this demand.What this imNarrator,

provisatory-sounding preamble does accomplish, however, is that it informs us of the song’s primary focus: the song itself. And then, 30 seconds later, as the double-kicked snare hits and oscillating syn-

thesizer lead us into the chorus, this hypothesis is proven true—the chorus, the song’s prime real estate is devoted to the proclamation that, yes, it is none other than “Ignition (Remix)” that is “Hot and fresh out the kitchen.” Once it is established that the song is a metacommentary on. the song itself, the anecdotal tales of Kelly’s wild night fall into place within the work’s general schematic. In what may be the most ingenious revelation in a song chock full of them, Kelly creates a scenario in which he and the rest of the people at the party (and the after-party, and the hotel lobby) are partying to the song that he has created about the party. There’s even an explanation of why they’re listening to “Ignition (Remix),” Kelly informs us that the action occurs “while they sayin’ on the radio, ‘it’s the remix to ‘lgnition’” (which, of course, would be impossible if Kelly were still laying down the part of the vocal track that contains that lyric, when the remix is only half-complete at best). This technique creates an infinite wormhole, something akin to looking at a hypothetical picture of you looking at a copy of the resulting picture. Therefore, when “Ignition (Remix)” is played at a packed 4:00 a.m postgame full of sweaty boozeand-Red-Bull-fueled kids (as, I’ve found, it often is), it creates a seamless convergence of temporalities: not only are the revelers dancing to a song with lyrics designed to mimic their actions precisely, but the people at the post-game and the people in the song are also dancing to the exact same song. But, if you’re not a big fan of picking apart radio gems to find out how relevant they are to current postmodernist theory, the song is still a treasure trove full of unforgettable moments. To name a few: the “bounce bounce bounce bounce...”; the totally bonkers “Murder She Wrote” reference; the POP! of a snare drum that syncs up perfectly with the third syllable of “crystal poppin” and, my personal favorite, the laudatory moral equivocation of “I’m like so what I’m drunk.” In short, “Ignition (Remix)” is the best song of the decade. 2010s—you’ve got your work cut out for you. Nathan Freeman is a Trinity senior. This is his final column of the semester.