October 28, 2009

THE INDEPENDENT DAILY AT DUKE UNIVERSITY

The Chronicle Humorists satirize racial tension

DUPD cop arrested on

Dayna Uyeda THE CHRONICLE

by

No. 14: White people like to have black friends.

This is one of an endless list of “Stuff White People Like,” a book and blog by humorist Christian Lander that satirizes cultural race issues. Lander and Elon James White, host of the Web series “This Week in Blackness” spoke about race relations in a comedic context in a half-full Page Auditorium Tuesday night. The event was sponsored by Duke University Union.

“I want to thank everyone for bringing me to Duke. This is kind of a big deal for me because when I finished my masters degree at the University of Arizona in film I applied to a number of English Ph.D. programs, Duke University being one of them.

And I was rejected,” Lander joked in his opening statement.

Lander and White spoke separately on their projects in racial comedy. White began with an introduction to “This Week in Blackness” through a slideshow and webisodes of the show. Lander followed with a comedic narrative of the development of his blog and book White opened the night by mocking the fact that the promotional YouTube video DUU made to advertise the event, titled “Stuff White People Like,” had nothing to do with him coming to campus.

“Is this what white people like? Negroes in corduroy jackets and ties?” White asked

rape charges by

jokingly.

White’s told his audience members that SEE LANDER ON PAGE 5

NATE GLENCER/THE CHRONICLE

Christian Lander recounts the development ofhis popular humorblog "Stuff White PeopleLike"Tuesday in Page Auditorium. Through the blog, Lander lightheartedly addresses racial stereotypes and relations.

Zachary Tracer THE CHRONICLE

A Duke University Police Department officer was suspended after he was arrested on first degree rape and sodomy charges in Alabama Monday.

Webster Delenn Simmons, 37, is being held in the Houston County jail on $120,000 bond for the two charges, said Capt. Antonio Gonzalez of the Houston County Sheriffs Office.

Simmons was suspended with pay Tuesday from DUPD, where he has workedjas a patrol officer for a little more than a year, DUPD Chief John Dailey said.

Dailey said DUPD will open a routine investigation into Simmons’ conduct at Duke, but added that there is no indication that Simmons committed crimes at the University.

DUPD has been in contact with the Houston County Sheriffs Office in southeast Alabama to get more information aboiif the incident, Dailey said.

Houston County Sheriff Andy Hughes said Simmons assaulted a 34-year-old woman Saturday between 1 a.m. and 4 a.m, after Simmons and the woman left a Houston County night club together.

Simmons knew the woman and bought SEE ARREST ON PAGE 4

Robertsons by

add newwill first-years

Jinny Cho

THE CHRONICLE

Two more Duke students may soon have a better reason to

board the two-tone blue Robertson bus.

The Robertson Scholars Program will admit four first-year students-two from Duke and two from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill-in Spring 2010, program officials announced Tuesday. The leadership initiative program, established in 2000 by Julian and Josie Robertson, currently grants about 35 high school seniors full four-year merit scholarships for study at both universities.

“We see ourselves as a leadership developtony Brown ment program, and we want to share our program’s resources with the undergraduate student community,” said Tony Brown, president of the Robertson Scholars program.

The two-year pilot initiative to admit freshmen reflects feedback from administrators and faculty at both universities, said Margi Strickland, the program’s assistant director for external e tahons.

Strickland said freshmen who have already settled into college will bring unique insights to the program.

We know that Duke has a great population of students already here on campus,” she said. “Coming after one year in collcge, freshmen are going to really help infuse our current pro-

1

gram with different perspectives and help engage and challenge the current scholars.”

Inviting first-year students to become Robertson Scholars has advantages over both earlier and later points of entry, Brown noted.

Unlike high school seniors, freshmen will have demonstrated an ability to adapt to and thrive in college. But freshmen will also be able to experience the program in its entirety, he said.

“We believe we can bring in first-year students and have them be fully integrated in the program,” Brown said. “We don’t think we can bring in sophomores without disrupting the program model.

Brown said the first summer, during which scholars engage in community building, is a key feature of the program. He also said the campus switch, which allows students to study at the other university during the second semester of their sophomore year, is a formative cross-campus learning experience for scholars.

“If they miss out on [these features], they haven’t had the full Robertson experience,” he said.

Strickland said that although the program may expand in the future, the initiative is just a pilot program for the time being.

“We could expand, but we’re not going to speculate on the ways,” she said. “We’ll evaluate what works and doesn’t work with this program.”

Brown said the addition of first-years is the latest change since the program’s expansion in 2007 to offer more scholarships to students. “

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ontheRECORD "A person who really respects themselves is not going to walk around with their pants on the ground."

—Local resident Wayne Daye on his public indecency petition. See story page 4

DUPD officer Webster Simmons was arrested Monday on first degreecharges ofrape and sodomy in Alabama. Duke has put him on paid suspension.

Special Occasion Columnist Joe Drews shares his thoughts on a proposed Greek Night in Cameron, PAGE 7

2 | WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28,2009

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THE CHRONIC)

TODAY;

lip

Iran will try to amend proposal

70p

Online Excerpt Check out a new podcast discussing Duke football's Saturday win over Maryland.The team's past two wins were the first back-to-back ACC wins for Duke since 1994.

Listen to Ben Cohen and Gabe Starosta's podcast on the game on The Chronicle's Sports Blog.

From The Sports Blog sports.chronicleblogs.com

2008.

The surplus is not easy to eliminate, because dairy cows must be milked —or sent to slaughter.With the average price of producing milk around $lB per 100 pounds, depending on the state, farmers lose money every day.

TODAY IN HISTORY 1636: Harvard University was founded.

Pricilia deOliveira Azevedo is the captain of a new community police brigade in Santa Marta, a violent slum of Rio de Janeiro. The new unit was put in place in an effort to reduce the high volume of violence seen recently in Rio's slums.

OMENIS WSTIOIS

Animals and Ethics Rudy, WF 1:15 2:30 PM

WST 102

Food, Farming

WSTI4O

Women at Work Reeves, TTH 1:15- 2:30 PM

WST 1505.02

Taking Our Bodies Back Warren, MW 4:25 5:40 PM

WST 1502.04

Infected: Bodies, Culture & Politics

WST 159

Thinking Gender

WSTI63S

Interpreting Bodies Campt, TTH 4:25 5:40 PM

WST 164

Race, Gender & Sexuality Amin, WF 11:40 AM -12:55 PM

WST 168

Gender, Sexuality & Human Rights -.Wilson, TTH 10:05 11:20 AM

WST 170AS

Queer Theory Wiegman, T 2:50-5:20 PM

WST 175

Feminism and Visual Culture Lamm, MWF 10:20 -11:10 AM

WSTI9SS

Senior Seminar: Feminist Theory Khanna, TH 2:50 -5:20 pm

WST 220

Foundations in Feminist Theory Wiegman, TH 2:50 5:20 PM

WST 240

Critical Genealogies: US Studies After American Exceptionaiism Wiegman, M 2:50 5:20 PM Feminism and the Animal Grosz (Visiting Distinguished Prof) M 2:50 5:20 PM

S

Personally, I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

Winston Churchill

WASHINGTON With dairy prices off nearly 40 percent from last year's peak, farmers, industry advocates and milk processors filled a Senate Agriculture Committee hearing room Tuesday to discuss lasting solutions to their crisis.

Consumer demand, particularly for cheese, slipped amid the worldwide economic downturn. But production continued to grow. In September, the price dairy farmers received for 100 pounds of milk was $11.90, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, down from a high of $19.50 in June

S

LOS ANGELES Asian automakers once again dominate the upperranks of Consumer Reports' annual vehicle-reliability survey, though Ford Motor Co. is making strides in improving the dependability of its cars and light trucks.

Ford's sustained production of vehicles that are as dependable as—or better than —some of the industry's best models dispels the notion that only Japanese manufacturers make reliable cars, the consumer magazine reported Tuesday.

The four-cylinder Ford Fusion and its cousin, the Mercury Milan, ranked higher in predicted reliability than any family sedan in the CR survey save the Toyota Prius.The cars beat out the Honda Accord and Toyota Camry, while the Lincoln MKZ, a product of Ford's luxury division,topped the rival Acura TL and Lexus ES, products of Honda Motor Co. and Toyota Motor Corp., respectively.

S

Ford ranks well in Reports

Milk farmers losing money bring pleas to Congress

. BEIRUT —Iran will seek to amend a proposed deal it reached with the U.S. and other major powers to ship the bulk of its nuclear material overseas, state television reported Tuesday.

Iran will respond by Thursday to a proposal to transfer most of its nuclear stockpile to Russia and France to be turned into fuel for a Tehran, Iran, medical reactor, but its counteroffer will include "important adjustments," said Iran's statecontrolled Al Alam, citing unnamed sources.

The Arabic-language television news channel often broadcasts official news or floats trial balloons before other state-controlled networks.

The U.S., Russia, France and the International Atomic Energy Agency last week signed off on a plan to transport the bulk of Iran's enriched uranium to Russia and France to be further refined and shaped into fuel plates for the medical reactor, which produces isotopes for cancer diagnoses and treatment.

THURSDAY:

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the CHRONICLE

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28,2009

Feith expounds on Bush presiden by

Ciaran O’Connor THE CHRONICLE

Take some accounts of the inner workings of the Bush White House with a grain of salt.

That was Douglas Feith’s message to students in his speech at Duke Tuesday as he defended his record as an architect of the Iraq War. Feith, who served as under secretary of defense for policy under President George W. Bush from 2001 to 2005, spoke at the School ofLaw about his time in the White House. He was invited to the University by Duke’s chapter of The Federalist Society for Law and Public Policy Studies.

The Duke University Program in American Grand Strategy and the American Constitution Society co-sponsored the event.

In his remarks titled “Setting the Record Straight: Legal and Strategic Thoughts on the War on Terrorism,” Feith explained the complex policy challenges involved in balancing public safety and civil liberties after the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks.

Feith said many of the restrictions limiting personal freedoms imposed by the Bush administration after 9/11 —from increased airport security to waterboarding—were necessary to protect the nation’s fundamental liberty. These restrictions ensured that another attack—and subsequent increased trade-offs between freedom and security—would not happen, he said.

“Beyond the human and material costs it imposes, terrorism takes advantage of and thereby endangers the openness and trust that allow us to enjoy freedom and prosperity,” Feith said. “If another 9/11 happened—especially an attack involving chemical or biological or nuclear weapons—who could doubt that our society would respond by increasing further the powers of government

Unchained A vehicle was found missing from the Duke Impound Lot Monday morning. The chain to the lot was cut.

Dear victim..

A student’s vehicle was hit while parked outside Erwin Mill Building Monday afternoon. A note was found on the windshield.

Blazin’ In response to a fire alarm activation, Duke Police surveyed the situation in Few Quadrangle early Monday morning for the cause of the alarm. Officers detected the smell of marijuana and found drug paraphernalia and a fire lane sign.

Next up, Gardens Two students were spotted climbing on construction devices to access the top of Baldwin Auditorium early Sunday morning.

ROB STEWART/THE CHRONICLE

Douglas Feith,former under secretary of defense for policy under GeorgeW.Bush, breaks down the intricacies of creating new federal policies in theaftermath ofthe9/11 terroristattacks Tuesday at the School of law.

affecting our freedoms?”

Feith, currently director of the Center for National SecurityStrategies and a senior fellow at the Hudson Institute, a conservative think-tank, is a controversial figure.

Along with five other Bush administration officials, Feith is under criminal investigation by a Spanish court for enabling torture by justifying the abuse of terrorism suspects. As under secretary of defense for policy, Feith helped devise the U.S. government’s strategy

for the war on terrorism and advised Bush and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld

on the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Feith also ran the Office ofSpecial Plans, a unit in the Pentagon harshly criticized by some for allegedly undercutting CIA intelligence on Iraq and developing alternative intelligence assessments. Some ex-govemment officials contend that Feith, as head of

OSP, manipulated intelligence concerning

the presence of weapons ofmass destruction in Iraq and about the relationship between former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein and

Just thirsty

Duke Police responded to a noise complaint in Bassett Dormitory early Sunday morning. Officers found intoxicated students and partially consumed containers of alcohol in a dorm room.

Clowning around A Residence Life and Housing Services employee reported Friday morning the disappearance of an unattended cotton candy machine that was located outside the office.

SEE FEITH ON PAGE 4

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4 I WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28,2009

CHRONICLE

Local pushes for stricter indecent exposure laws by

Allison Schulhof THE CHRONICLE

Pull up your pants, That’s the message Durham resident Wayne Daye asked the Durham City Council to send to young people who wear saggy pants as a fashion statement Daye spoke before the Council Oct. 8 to propose an ordinance, which would strengthen indecent exposure laws in Durham by prohibiting saggy pants that expose underwear. The council rejected the proposed ordinance on the grounds that it is unenforceable and impossible to uphold in court.

“It’s not going to go anywhere,” said Council member Eugene Brown. “I can understand why some people are offended, but that will not stand up in court.”

J}aye, who said he is in his early 60s, explained that he decided to write a citizen proposal which would seek to ban low-riding pants after he grew tired of witnessing a “culture of indecency.”

“It is offensive to a lot of people,” Daye said. “It creates a culture of disrespect and disregard. I think a person who really respects themselves is not going to walk around with their pants on the ground and theirrear-end [showing] in public.”

To prepare his citizen’s proposal, Daye said he talked to a random sampling of people in the Durham community. He collected more than 300 signatures for his petition.

“Everybody I approached about this issue was for it,” Daye said. “Some people said, ‘Can I sign it twice?”’

Daye correlated the low trouser trend with the hip-hop culture and youth delinquency.

“This is connected to what we see going on with our youth across the county with cases of gang banging, disregard for politics and disrespect for social morals,” he said. “It is not just the idea of how they are wearing their clothes, but maybe this is a starting point. We can try and turn this [culture] around. We have to dig in somewhere.”

Daye added that this ordinance could be a mechanism to address social deviance. Individuals who are issued citations for indecent exposure could be eligible for community mentoring programs, he said.

Opponents of the ordinance said it is not within the city’s jurisdiction to control a citizen’s dress.

“People should be able to wear anything they want to wear, how they want to wear it,” said Durham resident Jason Belvin.

Others said it is an issue ofindividual rights.

“I don’t condone saggy pants,” said freshman Toney Thompson. “But I think [the ordinance] violates freedom of speech.”

Because the City Council shot down his ordinance, Daye said he will regroup and try to rally support with a larger petition so that he can appear before the Council again.

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY CAROLINE

FEITH from page 3

ROB STEWART/THE CHRONICLE

David Feith, who spoke at the School ofLaw Tuesday night, encouraged students to maintain skepticism when analyzing the Bush administration, emphasizing that students need to "get the facts as straight as they can."

RODRIGUEZ

Fashion statements like these are indecent, saysDurham resident Wayne Daye, who is collecting signatures to ban sagging pants. of the intelligence community and others the expense of American interests and lives and treasure,” said Jason Rathod, a third-year law student.

Feith, who recently authored “War and Decision: Inside the Pentagon at the Dawn of the War on Terrorism,” is the second high profile conservative invited by The Federalist Society to speak on campus this month. Former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton spoke on Obama’s foreign policy at the School of Law in early October.

James Pearce, a second-year law student and president of Duke’s chapter of the American Constitution Society, said bringing speakers such as Bolton and Feith to campus offer students a valuable opportunity to hear from those with dissenting opinions.

“I’m glad [Feith] came,” Pearce said. “I think he did a good job in opening himself up to—or at least suggesting he was open to—talk about all sorts of different things... but I also feel he did skirt some of the issues.” at

al Qaeda in order to justify the invasion In his lecture and in an interview, Feith denied these allegations. “[The Office of Special Plans] was a consumer of intelligence, not a producer of intelligence,” Feith said in an interview.

“There has been so much false stuff written about that that I’m happy to have yet another occasion to refute it.”

In his speech, Feith repeatedly said students should approach narratives of the Bush White House with skepticism and “get the facts as straight as [they] can.”

Still, some of the roughly 60 students who attended thelecture and subsequent questionand-answer session remained unconvinced thatFeith was innocent of wrongdoing.

“It was ironic that at the end of his speech he said the theme of it was skepticism... when his office pushed faulty intelligence and went against the best judgement

ARREST from page 1 her a drink before the two left the club, Hughes said, adding that the woman may have been drugged.

The woman woke up during the alleged attack handcuffed and gagged, and then became unconscious again, Hughes said. She woke up at 5 a.m. after the alleged assault.

“This is not the types ofrapes or sodomies that we commonly see,” Hughes said. “It makes us wonder if this individual has committed these types of crimes anywhere in the United States that he may have been.”

Gonzalez said police sent the victim’s blood to a state lab, but he does not know when results will be available.

The “strapping devices” used in the alleged rape will be tested for genetic material, he added.

“The odds are, it’s going to be there for us,” Gonzalez said.

The alleged victim reported the incident to police Saturday afternoon and then went to the hospital, Gonzalez said.

He said a rape kit was not used to collect evidence from the woman because she showered before going to the hospital.

Gonzalez said police interviewed Simmons and the woman and collected evidence before arresting Simmons Monday.

After obtaining a warrant, police searched Simmons car and found two pairs of handcuffs, a whip, a ball gag, rope and a power device with a nail attached, Hughes said.

He added that some of those items may have been used m the alleged attack.

Simmons’ DUPD-issued gun was also found in the car, Gonzalez said.

First degree rape and sodomy are both class A felonies in Alabama. If Simmons is convicted, he faces a sentence of at least ten years for each charge.

the chronicle

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28. 2009 I 5

lander from page 1

er and Miles soon began talking about other things white people enjoy and the blog “Stuff White People Like" was created in January 2008.

By July of the same year, “Stuff White People Like” was published as a book and Lander’s popularity skyrocketed. He had numerous brushes with celebrity, from appearing on Late Night with Conan O’Brien to meeting actor Jerry O’Connell in his own dressing room.

Lander also talked about the different “haters” he meets on the Internet. He said he responds to them by saying that the belief “to show that you’re better than the white person standing next to you” and a general feeling of competition between races is meaningless.

“To recognize difference is to recognize racism,” Lander said, citing a popular belief. “And that’s a problem.”

Lander emphasized that he wrote his book to talk about white as a class rather than a race and to satirize white “tastes” like No. 1: coffee and No. 40: Apple

he will take them “on a journey” through his presentation.

The first slide read, “Racism is over.” But he clarified that in reality, racism is not over, denouncing the misconception that the election of President Barack Obama last year signified the end of racism.

“Do you remember that time, eight or nine months ago when racism was over?” White asked the audience sarcastically.'

His second slide read, “I do not see color” to comment on those who say they do not notice differences in skin color.

But White falsified this statement by noting that it is impossible not to see color, drawing attention to the fact that audience members must have noticed that he is black.

He added to his argument with an example that demonstrated how people will identify others with all attributes but skin color.

Lander presented a message similar to White’s in his introduction of “StuffWhite People Like.” technology.

He walked the audience Senior Connie Chu said she through the development of his enjoyed the show, noting Lander bestselling book from its beginand White’s honesty. nings as a joke to make Miles, a “There are a lot ofreally funny friend of his, laugh. things that we can poke fun at in Lander told the story of a different cultures,” Chu said. “But phone conversation during then, also, we have to become which his friend said he could aware that there are differences not trust a white person who did between us so it’s good to get that not watch The Wire, a popular out in the open, and humor is a TV show and No. 85 on the list good way to start.” of stuff white people like. Land•

Duke University Center for International Studies presents;

NATE GLENCER/THE CHRONICLE

Elon JamesWhite, host of the Web series"This Week in Blackness," openedTuesday's presentationby addressing common misconceptions toward race relations, citing examples such as the notion thatBarack Obama's presidential election endedracism as misguided.

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by Ariel Dorfman

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Duke in Brazil Information Session Wednesday, October 28

� +Mp Ariel Dorfman, the acclaimed author of Death and the Maiden, unveils an extraordinary reimagining of Pablo Picasso living in a time of terror. A work of dazzling innovation, romantic intrigue and probing dilemmas for our time. Staged reading by Little Green Pig Theatrical Concern, dir. by Jay O’Berski.

Oct. 29,7 p.m. (followed by Q&A) Nasher Museum of Art Oct. 30,7 p.m.

Tickets: $5 Oct. 31,2 p.m. available on day of performance or Nov. 15,7 p.m. through Duke Ticket Office: 919-684-4444 Sponsored by Duke University Center for International Studies and the Office of the Vice Provost for International Affairs.

ARIEL DORFMAN: 25 YEARS AT DUKE UNIVERSITY

5:30 to 6:30 pm 103 Allen Building Directed by Prof. Leslie Damascene, the Duke in Brazil summer program welcomes students from all disciplines with an interest in issues of citizenship, culture and participation. The program prerequisite is basic to intermediate Portuguese, completed by time of program. Students earn 2 Duke credits.

For more information, visit the GEO-U website at global.duke.edu/geo, call 684-2174, or e-mail globaled@duke.edu.

Global Education Office for Undergraduates

THE CHRONICU

|

6 WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28, 200!)

Moderates cooling on Reid’s public option plan by

Shailach Murray and Lori

Montgomery

THE WASHINGTON POST

WASHINGTON, D.C. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid’s risky decision to bring to the chamber’s floor a health care bill containing a government insurance plan was met with skepticism by moderate Democrats, who said they still do not know whether they could support a “public option” on a final vote.

The latest challenge to the Nevada Democrat’s move came from Sen. Joseph Lieberman of Connecticut, who told reporters he was “inclined to support” a procedural motion to bring the Senate health-care bill to the floor.

But Lieberman remains opposed to a national government-run insurance plan in any form—even with the “opt out” provision for states that Reid announced Monday he would include in the Senate bill.

“I really want to get to ‘yes,’” said Lieberman, a political independent who is a member of the Democratic caucus.

Unless the public option language is dropped, however, Lieberman said he would likely align with Republicans to block final passage.

Other moderates said they remain undecided on the “opt out” public plan. “I’m skeptical about what Sen. Reid has proposed,” said Sen. Mary Landrieu, D-La. Like Lieberman, she opposes a national, governmentrun insurance plan that would compete with the private sector. But Landrieu gave Reid slightly more reason for optimism, noting she would “stay open to a principled compromise.”

Democrats expect Reid to spend the days ahead ats tempting to secure commitments from all 60 members of his caucus to allow the Senate to begin debate on the legislation, aimed at lowering health care costs, reforming insurance practices and expanding coverage to roughly 30 million uninsured Americans.

But if moderates’ concerns fail to prevent the Sen-

NOW AVAILABLE

2009-2010 Duke. Men's Basketball Poster

health reform bill from advancing next month, lawmakers raised the possibility that the “opt-out” provision could be ditched on the Senate floor. Some moderate Democrats are more comfortable with the “trigger” approach that Sen. Olympia Snowe, R-Maine, has advocated, saying that a variant of a public plan is more likely to win 60 votes. Under Snowe’s approach, a public plan would be available only in states where private companies failed to offer policies at broadly affordable rates.

“This is not the end. This is not the beginning of the end. This is the end of the beginning,” said Sen. Thomas Carper, D-Del., a Finance Committee member who has agreed to let debate begin on the measure, but wants to make sure any public option would be run by a nonprofit board, rather than the government, and would not be financed by taxpayers.

“The question is, do we have the 60 votes to get to the floor? I hope we do,” said Carper. “To get the bill off the floor? We’re not there yet. But we’ll have a couple of weeks to work on it and, hopefully, at the end of those weeks, we will.” Reid said he would take the process one step at a time. “There are a lot of senators, Democrat and Republicans, who don’t like part of what’s in this bill,” he told reporters. “We’re going to see what the final product is.

We’re not there yet.”

He also downplayed Lieberman’s comments. “I’m sure he’ll have some interesting things to do in the way of an amendment,” Reid said. “But Joe Lieberman is the least of Harry Reid’s problems.”

Indeed, Reid’s more immediate problem may be Sen. Ben Nelson, D-Neb., who, unlike Lieberman, has not pledged to vote to permit debate to begin on a health care measure. Nelson told reporters he wants to see both the bill and a cost estimate from the Congressional Budget Office before making a decision. While he has not ruled out the possibility of supporting a public insurance plan, Nelson said he wants to make sure it does not become a “government-run, big-government insurance” company..

In addition to the proposed public plan, Nelson said he is concerned about tax provisions and a separate proposal to create a new public insurance program for longterm care, known as the Community Living Services and Support Act. That program would collect premiums in exchange for cash benefits to help cover the cost ofhome care, adult day programs, and assisted living or nursing homes if a subscriber became disabled.

The proposal has gained momentum in recent days as Democratic leaders in both the House and Senate cast about for ways to help finance a final health package. Because the program would begin taking in premiums immediately but would not start paying benefits until 2016, congressional budget analysts have forecast that it would-generate nearly $6O billion over the next 10 years.

But deficit hawks and the American Academy of Actuaries have questioned the design of the program, warning that it could require infusions of taxpayer money to cover benefits after 2019. Sen. Kent Conrad, D-N.D., has also expressed concern about the CLASS Act, calling it “a Ponzi scheme of the first order/’ and vowed to block its inclusion in the Senate bill. ate

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tremendous opportunity to grow as a performer, as well as personal feedback tailored to my specific needs.

The opportunity to study with some of the best musicians in the area was unforgettable.”

Sara Wamble, Class of 2010 Try music this spring.

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The Chronicle

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wednesday

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October, 28 2009

The Blue Devils dropped one spot in the national rankings to No. 14 after beating Ohio but losing to Ohio State on the road last weekend

MEN'S SOCCER

Postponed Presbyterian still no guarantee for Blue Devils Tom Gieryn THE CHRONICLE

by

Duke has weathered some difficult competition frorn unranked nonconference opponents this season, requiring two overtimes to defeat UNC-Wilmington Sept. 22 and losing 4-1 to Davidson Oct. 6. But head coach John Kerr and his team are determined to ensure that the rain which postponed their game against Presbyi Presbyt erian is the only bad terian weather involved in their matchup with the vs

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ANDREW ZHENG/CHRONICLE FILE PHOTO

ose Wednesday

“They have nothto lose coming into [tonight’s] game, and everything to gain,” Kerr said.

“So we know that they are going to be amped up and excited.”

Kerr said that the squad will focus on playing strong early against Presbyterian (2-9-2).

He also characterized Wednesday’s contest as important because a quality performance will help the team build confidence going into its weekend meeting with conference opponent Virginia Tech, which could bring itself into a tie with No. 16 Duke (10-4-0) in the ACC standings should it defeat the Blue Devils at Koskinen Stadium Saturday.

The ACC standings remain tight with two weeks left to play. Wake Forest and Maryland WEDNESDAY, 7 p.m Koskinen Stadium

Duke lost to unrankedDavidson just days after defeating then-No. 2 Maryland, and hopes to avoid the same scenario againstPresbyterian Wednesday.

UC

at 7 p.m. at Koskinen

stand tied atop the conference with 13 points, and Duke, with nine points, shares third place with Virginia and Boston College. All ACC teams receive bids to theconference tournament, but the Blue Devils’ seeding could be critical in a tournament that will feature five teams currendy ranked in the top 15.

As important as Duke’s final two ACC games—against Virginia Tech and Wake Forest—will be, Kerr stressed the necessity of staying focused on Presbyterian.

The team’s defeat at the hands

of Davidson was bitterly disappointing as it came immediately after the Blue Devils had beaten second-ranked Maryland 2-0.

That loss showed the squad the importance of not losing focus on any opponent.

“We know we have to show up and play well,” Kerr said. “It’s not as easy getting up for a game that’s not an ACC game or a nationally ranked opponent, but we’ve been surprised in the past.”

And a surprise is exactly what Duke wants to avoid tonight.

ing

Head coach John Kerr (left) said Duke needs to play well early on againstPresbyterian.

Greek Night: It’s all about the timing I’ve never liked Senior Night.

Maybe it’s because most of the seniors who fill the student section don’t quite know what they’re doing.

Maybe it’s because that game is dead, compared to other games in Cameron. Maybe it’s because I just missed the cutoff of people to enter the stadium before the seniors last year, so I’m bitter.

But I understand the reasoning behind it.

Joe Seniors get one pw •U I*GWB last chance to essentially be guaranteed a spot in Cameron.

Hen people ask them if they ever went basketball game while they were at puke, they can tell them about attend- , ln g a game with their classmates—and probably about watching a win.

Because that’s one of the most cruc'al components of Senior Night. You ma y not like watching hundreds of ■’Cniors pile in ahead ofyou, but the Ue Devils often win because the opponent, while usually an ACC team, is never as important as it could be.

t0a

LAWSON

KURTZ/CHRONICLE

FILE PHOTO

Greek Night, like Senior Night, might be away to boost student attendance at non-tenting games this season.

It’s not North Carolina.

Even when the rivalry contest is the final game of the season, Senior Night takes place the game before. I’m sure there wasn’t much thought put into this.

The Cameron Crazies would revolt if hundreds of seats to the biggest game of

the year were reserved for seniors.

Nevertheless, it indicates the importance of the timing of a special night in Cameron. And if the line monitors are going to add another special night this season, they must be careful when they do it.

As it stands rightmow, the Nov. 13

game against UNC-Greensboro is tentatively scheduled to be Greek Night, which would function similarly to Senior Night: The first several hundred independents would be admitted to Cameron, followed by a ton of Greek students, and then the rest of the independents would fill out the student section.

It’s tricky territory because suddenly some casual basketball fans have a better chance of getting into the game than others for no reason except the fact that they are in a Greek organization. Unless you are willing to wait in line for hours to be admitted in that first wave of independents, you’re probably going to be stuck in a corner of the student section. It takes away the basic premise of the Duke fan experience: The more dedicated you are, the better your seat.

That being said, I’m all for increasing attendance at basketball games, and I can see the logic for this plan. It would probably fill the student section, and ideally some of those Greek students would come back to future games on their own. Something has to be done SEE DREWS ON PAGE 8

THE

8 | WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28,2009

CHROMc .f

DREWS from page 7 about student attendance at non-tenting games, and Greek Night—unlike more relaxed tenting rules—might actually be effective.

But we have to look at the other aspect of Greek Night, the part that makes Senior Night work: liming. The game against UNC-G is the Blue Devils’ regular season opener. No one in his or her right mind would compare UNCGreensboro to UNC-Chapel Hill, but I think the basic principle is still important: You have to consider the existing excitement for the game in the context of the surrounding schedule.

Tulsa is a far less appealing opponent than the Tar Heels, so let’s schedule Senior Night against the Golden Hurricane instead of against North Carolina. The Spartans, meanwhile, visit Cameron on opening night, and compared to what is happening before that—exhibition games against Pfeiffer and Findlay—the UNC-G game is a relatively big deal.

It’s also on a Friday. I don’t have any numbers to back- this up—and I’m not sure they even exist, because officially there are 9,314 people at every game—but weekday games are far less crowded than weekend contests. (Case in point: Three years ago, I showed up to a Wednesday game against Holy Cross 30 minutes before tipoff and stood in the third row.) If Greek Night is going to happen, why not hold it Monday, Nov. 16 against Coastal Carolina or in'the second round of the NIT Season Tip-Off the following day? Because those schools don’t have Greeks as their mascots?

I’m still not convinced Greek Night is a great idea. I don’t like that it prioritizes one group over another. But attendance

Men’sLacrosse Announces Schedule The Blue Devils released their 2010 schedule Tuesday, and that calendar includes games against nine of lasi year’s top 25 teams.

The schedule counts six road games against a series of marquee opponents, among them a contest with Georgetown in Washington, D.C. and another against Harvard in Boston.

Duke will also take on Bucknell, which is located in Pennsylvania, at a neutral site in Atlanta.

The home schedule is highlighted by visits from Notre Dame, one of the surprises of last season, and rival North Carolina. In its other two ACC games, Duke plays Maryland at the Baltimore Ravens’ M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore, Md. and Virginia in Charlottesville, Va. Four of the Blue Devils’ games will be broadcast nationally on ESPNU. Duke reached the National Semifinals last season before losing to Syracuse, the eventual national champion.

Cameron Indoor Stadium was jam-packed when Duke played Florida State ona Tuesday for Senior Night last year. to improve, and I can’t think of a better solution. (If anything, the line monitors might need to add another special night—Freshman Night. That way, at least they’re recruiting fans for the next four

has

years, and people will not go to their first game on Senior Night and lament the fact that they had not gone to more during their undergraduate careers.)

The stands should be full Nov. 13, whether it’s Greek Night or not. If they

aren’t, the problems with Cameron run a lot deeper than anything a special night can fix.

But until we see that students aren’t excited enough about a preseason ACC favorite that just added a big-time recruit to fill Cameron, let’s keep things the way they were for big games, like the season opener. Just get in line.

It shouldn’t have to be any more complicated than that.

Gummersall honored Duke women’s Soccer player KayAnne Gummersall was named the ACC Co-Player of the Week for her excellent performance in the Blue Devils’ 4-1 win over then-No. 15 Virginia Tech Sunday.

Gummersall, a senior forward, scored a hat trick to lead Duke to Victory against the Hokies.

She was also named to the Soccer America National Team of the‘Week for her three-goal effort.

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commentaries

CHRONICLI

OK-ville changes The point of a line is to get model of Senior Night.

Second, as opposed to the ofit. The point ofKville, line monitors and basketold system in which students ball line-up policies is to supcould wait in the walk-up line port the basketball team and in groups of up to six, groups to get students into basketball of 30 will now be allowed.

Third, tentgames—it’s not strictness and ing will start editorial format for the Jan. 30, and no sake offormat. one can begin tenting before In recent weeks, the Duke that date.

Basketball office, in conjuncClearly none of these tion with Head Line Monitor changes is a revolution, and Zach White, has proposed a they will not alone fix the series of changes that go a problem of lagging attenlong way toward putting this dance at games. But each one is sensible and helpful. principle into practice.

First, the themed nights are There are three major a good way to interest many changes to line-up policy.

First, there will be six students who usually do not themed basketball games go to basketball games. And this Fall. Each undergradubecause the first 300 seats are ate class, plus greeks and athavailable to all regardless ofafletes, will have 600 reserved filiation, no dedicated student seats in Cameron Indoor Stawho is not a member ofa given dium for one night, on the group will be denied admisto the end

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Drop

onlinecomment There was great excitement on campus when GregPaulus and Josh Mcßoberts committed to Duke. This excitement was not rooted in a yearning desire on campus to add two white basketball players.

—“asB3” commenting on the column “You, me and Kyrie.”

See more atwww.dukechronide.com.

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sion to one of these games.

The themed night that has drawn the most attention is Greek Night. This event is not an undue privilege to greeks. It is not even much of a privilege, because it simply involves a potential 600 reserved seats for a marginally important game.

Greeks probably care more about being able to sit on the non-TV side of Cameron than having their own reserved night But this themed night is a good attempt to excite a group of studentswho seem to be interested in sports but do not generally attend basketball games.

Second, allowing groups of 30 to join the walk-up line will make it easier for large groups of students, especially selective living groups, to go to games. These large groups will enliven rather than disrupt the walk-up line.

ZACHARY TRACER, University Editor JULIA LOVE, Features Editor TONI WEI, Local& NationalEditor RACHNA REDDY, Health & ScienceEditor lAN SOILEAU, Sports PhotographyEditor AUSTIN BOEHM, Editorial Page Managing Editor REBECCA WU, Editorial Page Managing Editor NAUREENKHAN, SeniorEditor DEAN CHEN, Lead Developer BEN COHEN, TowerviewEditor MADDIE LIEBERBERG, Recess PhotographyEditor LAWSON KURTZ, Towerview PhotographyEditor CAROLINE MCGEOUGH, Recruitment Chair ANDY MOORE, Sports Recruitment Chair CHRISSY BECK, Advertising/MarketingDirector REBECCA DICKENSON, Chapel Hill Ad Sales Manager

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It

That said, there is no reason why groups ofany size up to 30 should not also be admitted.

The third proposal, which pushes back the start of tenting, is the most important.

In the past, several groups have started tenting in late December, and most have started in earlyjanuary. This new policy will make tenting less extreme, more accessible for students who are rushing and more attractive to upperclassmen.

It is easy to see how some would think that this uniform start date will cut into the “meritocracy” of K-ville. As written right now, it would.

But it doesn’t need to.

On Jan. 30, all tents should sign up for tenting in no particular order. They are just tents, not ranked. Then, until the UNC game, tents should be measured and ranked on

,

the basis of games their members have attended (including selected women’s games) and tent checks missed.

Just before the UNC game tents will be placed in an order and admitted to the game based on their demonstrated commitment to Duke basketball. This system will still be a meritocracy, but it will reward going to games rather than sleeping in the mud.

None of these policy changes is as important to attendance as an exciting team. But none will significantly harm any committed fan. And each will make KVille more fun, more manageable and more focused on basketball.

Line monitors Austin Boehm and Dan Romero mused themselves from this editorial.

TVsbombs not

seems like every day we’re told that the Although the show used poorly constructed fruits of modernity are bad for us. story lines to feature the work ofLA’s best plastic Sugary drinks cause obesity, cars pollute surgeons in as many beach-running scenes as posthe atmosphere and TV makes us apathetic and sible, it still portrayed women who were in control dumb. Right? of their lives, both personally and professionally.

Well, not quite. The first two are empirically They were women who weren’t constrained by tratrue, but there is good reason ditional gender roles. to question the wisdom of the TV’s liberating effect for women last. The idea that TV induces a is clearer in other genres, particucomatose-like stupor —the stuff larly soap operas. In many developof mothers’ wisdom and Shel ing countries, like Brazil and India, Silverstein poems—is just plain soaps have huge audiences and wrong regularly portray women who have That’s right. TV is good! This fewer children, are more assertive column is going to be about someand more frequently exercise their yousef thing positive for once. legal rights to divorce. abugharbieh TV may make people a bit The effect of soap operas is fast forward plumper, more docile and less greatest in rural areas.

“The introduction of cable or intellectually curious, but it just satellite services in a village... goes along with might be one of the most positive forces for social change in the 21st century. It has the pohigher girls’ school enrollment rates and intential to reduce birth rates in developing councreased female autonomy,” writes Kenny. “Within tries, make the world more united in response to two years of getting cable or satellite, between 45 global tragedy, and, most importantly, improve and 70 percent of the difference between urban equality between the sexes. and rural areas on these measures disappears.”

That’s journalist Charles Kenny’s argument in A 2001 article produced by the journal Transthe forthcoming issue ofForeign Policy magazine. national Broadcasting Studies, confirms Kenny’s Kenny asserts that Twitter may have made headargument with respect to the Arab world, finding lines by connecting protestors in Iran during the that the spread of satellite television had contribsummer, but TV is the one technology that has uted to a more positive portrayal of women in the been and will continue to be a positive and wideregion reaching force for good in the coming years.

“Many satellite services, in contrast to national Around 90 percent of U.S. households have systems, portray Arab women as involved in ecoTVs. But Kenny points out that in the world’s least nomic, educational and industrial activities,” writes author Hussein Amin, TBS Senior Editor. developed and most populous countries, like Nigeria and Bangladesh, only 30 percent do.

“Rural women are shown as being responsible for Those numbers are changing quickly, though, the most labor-intensive agricultural tasks, rather according to Kenny. A TV is one of the first things than covering only their role in the household of poor people acquire when they have the money food preparation and as sex symbols in television to do so. In areas of the world where there are commercials and video clips.” few books and no Internet, television has a high What is remarkable about the proliferation of level of market penetration that makes it a potelevision is that its cultural impact is often greattential vehicle for social change, particularly est in areas where its penetration is lowest. In Afin hard-to-reach rural areas where many of the ghanistan this year, when a woman reached the global poor live. final five of “Afghan Star,” the country’s take on Part ofTV’s transformative potential lies with “American Idol,” the director asserted it could “do the fact that it is hard for governments to conmore for women’s rights than all the millions of trol. And with the proliferation of cable and satdollars we have spent on public service announceellite options, it is increasingly difficult for many ments for women’s rights on TV.” oppressive states to prevent foreign programIf New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof ming from entering their country. Foreign news, is right and the critical issue of this century is the music videos and reality TV shows will get past unequal status ofwomen, then we better send XVs even the most stringent censors. with our development aid and keep producing But—you must be wondering—how can TV telenovelas. be a positive force for equality between the sexes, especially because the most-watched TV show Yousef AbuGharbieh is a Trinity senior. His column ofall time is “Baywatch?” runs every other Wednesday.

THE CHRONICLE

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28,2009

I

commentaries

11

More or less connected

Dodo daydream

almost missed my deadline. My column as possible? What someone does in the bathroom stall after a night out or whom was finished, my computer and Interfunctional.

But someone fully anyone were wakesup with the next morning net touchwith me the last in to is not in get any of our business. Whether really tried who week could tell you what was wrong—I’ve someone is questioning his or her future after a low score on the LSAT or wonbeen on a technology fast.

This sanction of celldering if both mom and dad will be living at home phone, texting, Facebook, during Winter Break isn’t e-m ail and GChat was by something we need to inno means self-imposed, trude on. though the first six days , jftIf this is true, what are and 23 hours were pretty friends? Aristode tells us heavenly—no concern that a true friend loves the for whether my cell would emily leonardy other for his or her own go off during class, in the duke it oiit sake. Friendship is mutual library or during a service, no worrying al good will—wanting what is replying in a timely manner to pressing best for the other person. To know what is e-mail business. For a full week, I had an best for another person, we must intrude; excuse to not be glued to my computer. we must honesdy be a part of another’s life. Even better if there is more than one I loved it.

Downside: Where did all my friends go? true friend—many true friends intruding Not only did everyone around me find in one another’s lives for their betterment this fast incredibly inconvenient, but I might even be called community.

What would it look like for the “sisters” found that my pool ofplaymates gotpretty shallowwhen my landline was the only avail- and “brothers” of Greek chapters to really able connection. Most ofmy relationships’ care about what each other did on Thurageneral maintenance are dependent on day/Friday/Saturday nights? How might texting, talking on the phone in between classes change ifpeople knew the names of classes or e-mailing during evening televi- everyone in their recitation section? What sion shows. This realization reminded me if roommates from freshmen dprms did of Dean of the Chapel Sam Wells’ Baccamore than just say “hi” on Facebook walls? laureate Address to the Glass of 2008-—my Not every undergraduate finds his or class, Heasked us about those things which her community in fellow students at Duke. were worth our full attention, those things But every person needs a community we would hold in two hands. everyone needs friends. Although blood It’s been seven days since I’ve talked to relations may provide a ready-made comsomeone who doesn’t live with me, take munity for thefirst few decades of life, most classes with me or share my last name. need to find a group of friends who supClearly, there are many relationships I port and challenge them outside of their don’t hold in two hands. The fault is all hometown. It is much easier to avoid the mine—it would have been easy for me to responsibility' of taking on others by just pick up my clunky old dial-tone phone sending texts or e-mails, not insisting on a and call to ask how their day had been, phone call or an intentionalconversation. but that just seemed so serious.

Aristode would tell us, though, that we Shouldn’t phone calls just to “check need friends as much as friends need us. in” be left for grandmothers to make? Not Last week made it clear to me that I only do we not have time to just shoot the need my friends—even if they’re far away breeze, but phone calls without specific and can only GChat, being that we live in news to share or instructions to be given suflibraries as graduate students. It’s the infer from awkward pauses and moments of tentionally awkward conversations that we confusion when two speak at once. Trying might need to practice more often in order to relate to people through the obtrusive to truly hold the friendship in both hands. mediums of face-to-face or voice-to-voice And with that, I thank you for helping communication creates unneeded complime make it through my last hour of the cations. E-mails or texts to say “hi” are more fast, which was by far the hardest to keep. considerate—if a friend wants to respond, Back to Facebook. he or she can when it’s convenient When did we decide that it’s best to Emily Leonardy is a first-yearDivinity stustay as far from our friends’ personal lives dent. Her column runs every other Wednesday.

do we care about the Earth? Globchitectural techniques could stop global clial warming, nuclear fallout, plastic mate change in its tracks.... Maybe. Technolproliferation—it really doesn’t matogy cannot do it alone—this plan would also ter. Old planet Earth will be just fine. It’s ourrequire human initiative. That communal selves we should be thinking about. initiative is currently absent from the climate Take one of the most famously extinct change discussion, but that does not rule out creatures known to humanits eventual emergence. kind. Sometime in the midEven if humans don’t 17th century, human activity change their ways, technolstarted decimating the dodo ogy may make the changes bird population. In response Sr* for us. Perhaps an “I, Robot” to the crisis, the. dodo birds or “Terminator 3” solution ail met together to discuss could be in Earth’s future, their changing environment. with the development of artiInstead of eggs, they hatched elad gross ficial technology so advanced plans. All was in vain, and gone that robots’ intellect surpasskitty babies from the Earth is the dodo es our own. We become the There’s really not too zoo exhibits for machines. much creatures on this planet can do when But there are more immediate ways techthey oppose the dictums of almighty nature. nology is talcing the survival of the Earth into The dodo birds were too slow to escape fast its own hands. Many scientists point to human predators. The dinosaurs were too cool for overpopulation as a major contributing factor their own good. The polar bears are just too to die lack of sustainability of the current world white. What epithet will the cockroaches beorder. This factor will have an increasingly stow upon extinct humans? “Humans were large impact as industrializationbuilds in more just too evil—they invented shoes!” countries throughout the world. IndustrializaCould there be truth in the cockroaches’ tion often brings greater national wealth, which analysis? Could our inventions be the cause could lead to greater individual wealth, which of our downfall? Artificial polymers pollute brings a subversive consequence; cell phones. the oceans. Coal plants pollute the air. Dump According to a soon-to-be-published trucks pollute the land. Saws and axes destroy study by the World Health Organization, habitats. Guns kill animals. cell phones cause brain cancer. Now that Take even this last instance—meat-eatchildren in the more “developed” countries ing. Domesticated catde and other livestock are using cell phones from the time they take up land, a lot of energy and produce switch out of diapers, we may have an entire the dreaded cow fart, which contributes siggeneration of 30-year-olds undergoing brain nificandy to greenhouse gases. Lord Stem tumor treatment. of Brentford, the Chair of the Grantham InSomeone will soon mass market a radiastitute for Climate Change and the Environtion-blocking cell phone shield. Cell phone ment at the London School of Economics, users will probably just resort to cell phone predicts that meat consumption will become a headsets in the meantime. But nature will shunned practice of the past as popular opinfind away to strike back and balance Earth, ion becomes more conscious of the carbon whether through the slip of technology or the flood of the Atlantic coastline. footprint livestock domestication produces.

Like the dodobird convention 0f350 years Or maybe not.

The dodo bird may not really be dead. ago, our meetings on environmental change may just be counterproductive. As the threat Dinosaurs may not be either. Scientists are of greenhouse gases increases, so will interdeveloping ways to remake extinct creatures national cooperation, leading to more interfrom their skeletal remains, and the dodo national conferences requiring more security bird is at the center of the research. Perhaps and travel costs. The United Nations Climate the dodo convention really did produce results. Maybe this was the plan all along.

Change Conference in Copenhagen in December will include up to 20,000 delegates.

Unless we wake up from our dodo daydream, our fates will match those of the That translates to a Tyrannosauric carbon footprint, and the dinosaurs didn’tfare too well in clumsy bird—the only way to preserve huthe species survival game either. manity will be by the happenstance that But could technology be the tool of salvasomeone finds our bones. tion for humanity? Less environmentally imElad Gross is a Trinity senior. His column runs pactful fuels, improved geothermal and solar energy harvesting mechanisms and new ar- every Wednesday.

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Why

letterstotheeditor Proposed basketball attendance policy has merit While I realize “Monday, Monday” is a humor col-

umn and therefore not to be taken seriously, I found a few aspects of the “Charlotte Simmons” piece this week troubling enough to warrant some commentary.

First, it has been my experience that all the groups who have authority in Krzyzewskiville (line monitors, basketball program; etc.) work very hard to dispel the myth >that students must wait hours and hours in the freezing cold to get into Cameron IndoorStadium. To suggest that the proposed policy of allowing larger groups to register will somehow exclude dedicated student fens from getting into games is ludicrous and damaging to the many people who put time and effort into developing the new plans. As someone who attended every home game last year, I can tell you that I had little trouble getting into most games in spite of the feet that 1 rarely lined up more than an hour before doors opened. I seriously doubt that thisyear will be any different Ifyou want get into Cameron you will be able to get into Cameron, whether you’re by yourself or with 30 ofyour closest friends.

Second, while I am not a member of a fraternity, I aui sure the many men at Duke who are greek-affiliated appreciated the lovely caricature “Simmons” painted of them and their organizations. Who wouldn’t want to

t0

be slapped with stereotypes like “broskis... with grills and brewskis” and “trouble-with-the-Women’s-Center greeks,” who run about hazing pledges and deflowering women? I know a certain sports team at Duke that faced similar (false) stereotypes once. I don’t think any of the men on that team found it very humorous.

DanielFlavin Trinity ’lO

“Monday, Monday” unfairly characterized greeks This week’s “Monday, Monday” column, “My Big Fat Greek Game,” was an epiphany in my Duke career, because for the first time I figured out what’s wrong with Duke’s social scene: students like the “Monday, Monday” columnist behind the pseudonym “Charlotte Simmons.” It seems that this person has bashed a life they know nothing about, while increasing social fragmentation. Today I was charged with being overweight, having a drinking problem and being a bad basketball fan. To start, most people at Duke (myself especially) could use a cheeseburger.

Second, isn’t it ironic that on LDQC, the one day people like “Simmons” drink, there tend to be a large number of hospital visits? And finally, you want to talk about being a

basketball fan? Let’s go, sweetheart.

“Simmons” claims that thebest fans are those who choose to sleep in the mud for a month, and then complain about it all day on the Gl. These fans have illuminated a weakness in our basketball program; the fact that Cameron Indoor Stadium is predictable and unintimidating. The reputation of Cameron that Dick Vitale drools over and helped Duke to three tides did not stem from halfthe first row reading widess jokesand the otherhalf looking over physics flashcards. It gets worse. When Duke is down eightpoints with three minutes to go, Cameron is embarrassingly quiet The fair-weathered Crazies only cheer properly when the team is winning, which is why last year our coach got frustrated to thepoint of throwing his jacket and supplicating for some fan intensity. How often has ESPN flashed to a student covering his or her eyes in the final minutes of a game? Embarrassing.

The new plan was developed to enhance social unification in Cameron, fill the bleachers and create a new dimension of intensity. But “Simmons” thinks she is smarter than the coaching staff, and the column twisted the motivations of fraternity men.

Mark Schissler Trinity ’ll

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